The Most Awesome Life Of Leah Clearwater
by CriDeLaMouette
Summary: Leah Clearwater's life isn't awesome at all. Her boyfriend left her for her best friend, and she feels alone. Can Jacob I'm-So-Important Black help her? And then there's the blond Cullen boy...
1. My Life Just Sucks

**So I decided to put up this story about Leah and the rest of the Twilight characters. It is supposed to cover all four books (I really hope I'll come this far), although I'm going to change some things, especially from Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. **

**I'm German, so if you decide to read (and review) this story, please don't be too harsh with language and grammar criticism. Still, I'd be really happy if you could correct me or give me some advice on how to ameliorate my writing style. **

**I do not own Twilight and its characters. **

**Thanks to Stephenie Meyer for being so inspiring!**

My Life Just Sucks

_Great. Another year of stupid, useless school. At least HE's not there anymore. Wouldn't be able to look at him. Still, his friends are bad enough. Don't like Jared either, and that freak is sitting next to me in English! _

_I wish it was the last year. Can't wait to graduate and get out of here. Stupid Indian reservation. As if anyone would preserve our culture here just because they like it. It's all for the tourists, I bet. Nah, who would care? The Makahs aren't better, and there aren't any other jobs round here. It all falls with the pale-faces..._

Just after I'd finished writing this entry, somebody knocked at my door. „Leah!", my brother said, „Come on! We're gonna be late!" As if I would care. But he was right, and it wasn't so smart to be late on the first day of school.

I took my bag and went out of my room, slamming the door behind me. I knew Mom didn't like it, but she was already at work, so I could do whatever I liked.

„Leah!" Damn. I'd forgotten my dad. „You slam that door one more time and-!" Empty threats – my dad was great with them. I looked at my little brother. Seth was grinning at me. Thirteen year old child! He was getting on my nerves, too. Why was everyone around such a pain in the ass?

I walked to my car, a 1980 Ford Fiesta that once had belonged to my dad, and climbed inside. I really had to climb because of all the junk that filled the car. I hadn't cleaned up before school, so everything from my holidays was still there. Seth groaned. „How can you still drive this thing? Shouldn't it be too heavy by now?" He grinned, but I ignored him.

There weren't many cars on the student parking lot – but there weren't many teens in the reservation who were allowed to drive, and there weren't many car owners, too.

I got out of the car and walked to two of my friends, Kayla and Jessica. Jess was half Makah – not that I would care – and Kayla was Quileute like me.

„Hi Leah!" We hugged. „How was your vacation?" „It was OK. How was yours?" They started telling me something about some guys they had met in Canada, but I was barely listening. Jared had arrived. I watched him walking to one of the girls of my class, Kim, and kissing her.I interrupted Kayla, asking: „OK, since when have Kim and Jared been going out?" Kayla shrugged. „I know he tried to ask her to the spring dance last year. She said yes, but I didn't know they were together now." I nodded, looking at them again. Then I watched Seth (who unfortunately went to the same school as I did – Middle and High School were in the same building) running towards another well-known face. Jacob Black, second-biggest-jerk-in-history, had just arrived. My brother was idolizing him, which really pissed me off. Nothing to idolize about Jacob I'm-so-important Black.

I went inside the school. Some classmates were sticking their heads together when I walked past them, and I could hear them whispering. As if it had been my fault that HE had broken up with me. I growled at one of the whispering groups and rushed inside the classroom, suddenly being glad that I had something else to think about.

**So, that was the first chapter. If you liked it, please review! It's my first story on , so I'm kinda excited ;-)**


	2. Why Can't I Graduate Now?

Why Can't I Graduate Now?

When I returned from school, I had made three important observations: First of all, that stupid freak Jared was going out with the equally stupid Kim. Second, my only friends seemed to have changed sides over the holidays and had talked about me behind my back – like I was too stupid to notice! And third, almost everyone I knew was happy for HIM being happy. Nothing worse than going out with your average high school star.

Where was the point in going anyway? Why couldn't I graduate now? It would be so great just to disappear and to never come back, never ever in Quileute history. I would become the Indian who betrayed her tribe.

I started to do my homework when my dad entered the room. „Hey, Leah." I didn't look up. „Hi, Dad." „How was school?" I shrugged. „Normal, I guess." He nodded stiffly. „Listen, sweetie, would you care to get the groceries? Charlie and Billy come for dinner tonight, and we still need some stuff. The list is in the kitchen." „Yeah. Whatever." He sighed and turned to go, but then he started again: „Look, honey. If you still feel bad, we can talk-" I just looked at him, really annoyed, then I stormed out of my room, grabbed the list and some money and walked out of the door.

I wanted to go to the supermarket, but after some minutes I suddenly realized that I had taken the wrong way.

I sighed. The one way that would have led me past HIS house. The route I had been going the last two years right before the summer. How fast everything could change. From being the most popular girl in the reservation, I had become everyone's favorite gossip item. From being loved by the one person that counted the most to being hated by everyone. Just great.

I returned to the right path and started to hum a little, when I heard a stick breaking behind me. I turned round to face the incautious intruder, who in fact was Jacob. He was wearing a black T-Shirt, and his long black hair was tied back. „Hi, Leah", he said, looking uncomfortable. „You should practice moving silent", I snapped. He shrugged. „I'm sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you." He grinned. Oh, I'd love to hit him for that one. But I decided to play nice today. „So, what are you up to?", he asked. „Groceries", I moaned, stressing 'groce' as if it was something disgusting. Jacob laughed a little, but stopped fast, as if he wasn't sure whether he was allowed to. „Mind if I join you? I need new chips." I shrugged and walked on, with the I.I.B. (Indian In Black) following me.

The supermarket was a grey painted house, with a terrace right in front of it. Dreamcatchers hung from the ceiling. It looked really romantic. That was the function of the dreamcatchers – making a boring, grey house look like the place where your tribe's medicine man bought his secret ingredients. It was supposed to look like this for the tourists who wanted to visit La Push.

We entered the _Lonesome Creek Store_ and I took a look at the list. „Carrots, cucumber, potatoes and apples", I murmured while Jacob was studying a chocolate bar. He looked up. „What do you need?", he asked. I stared at him for a second, then I looked at the list again. „Potatoes. Four pounds." He nodded and disappeared between the shelves.

I walked to the vegetables to get carrots and cucumber when I heard someone saying: „Oh, look! A real Indian! And he has long hair! That is so authentic!" I glanced around the tomatoes and saw a white couple who were staring at Jacob getting the potatoes. They looked excited. Jacob looked annoyed. The white woman walked towards him and cleared her throat. Jacob looked up. „Yes? Can I help you?" The woman looked a little nervous. „Do you live here?" Jacob nodded. Her tone changed from nervous to excited. „So you are a real Quileute Indian?" Jacob raised an eyebrow, but he answered: „Yes, Ma'am, I'm Quileute." „That is so nice! My husband and I, we were looking for someone who could lead us around a little and tell us something about your culture." Jacob stared at her. „Of course we would pay you!", the woman exclaimed before Jacob could say anything.

I had enough. I put some carrots into a bag and picked a cucumber, and then I went towards Jacob. „Our culture is the same as yours. If you need a guide, you can buy a paper one. They're over there, on the counter." I pulled Jacob away and heard the woman asking her husband: „Did I insult them? Did I insult the couple?" „No", her husband answered, „You had a very polite and natural request. We respect their culture. Come on, honey, we'll find someone else."

„You can let go of me now", Jacob said. „Oh", I said, „Sorry." He shrugged and handed me the potatoes. „Stupid tourists. I hate them." He sighed. „What else do you need?" I looked at my list. „Ahem... Flour, milk and apples." His look changed. „Your mom is making her famous apple pie?" „Looks like that, hm?" I didn't tell him that „your mom's famous apple pie" was actually my work, but then, who would care? „I'll go get the flour and milk", he said and walked away, while I turned to the apples and picked out the biggest and best. After all, I knew exactly what fruits I wanted for my pie.

Jacob returned. „My dad and I, we're coming for dinner tonight", he stated. I tried not to roll my eyes. I had thought only Billy and Charlie were coming. „That's nice", I managed to say, before I walked to the fridge to get meat.

I payed, and we left the shop. Logan, the shop keeper, had rolled his eyes at us and had said: „Stupid tourists. Were offering me a job as a guide." He had shaken his head in disbelief and had given me the change.

Jacob spat as we saw the couple walking to the beach, looking out for another victim. „Maybe you should accept their offer?", I proposed, earning an evil glare. „I mean, you need the money." Jacob rolled his eyes. „Not that kind of money. I don't know much about us, anyway." I shrugged. He opened the chips and offered me some. I refused, and we walked silently back to my house. „See you later", he said and walked away.

I looked after him. Maybe Jacob Black wasn't _so_ bad after all.


	3. The Worst Dinner In History

The Worst Dinner In History

When I came in, I heard the sounds of the TV coming from the living room. It sounded a lot like Wrestling. In my opinion, that was the most stupid sport on earth, because everything was faked. My brother loved it.

„I'm back!", I shouted, but of course I got no answer. I went into the kitchen and closed the door. Then I turned the radio on (some rap song was running, to my annoyance, but still) so I wouldn't have to listen to the sounds of Wrestling. I had promised my mother I would start cooking, so I began washing and skinning the potatoes. I also started to cut the carrots and the cucumber, and I took some tomatoes out of our fridge, too. When I had finished the salad, I put it back into the fridge and started to pare the apples for the pie.

I was concentrating so hard on cooking that I didn't notice the sky getting darker and darker. When I looked out of the window, it started to rain really hard. That wasn't unusual for this part of the country, but something bothered me about this rain. It reminded me of the first night HE had disappeared.

I was concentrating on mashing the potatoes and on not letting the meat burn when my mom returned. She rushed into the kitchen, shaking her wet hair before she kissed my forehead. „Hello, sweetheart. How was school?" „It was OK." „You've begun to cook, that's great. They'll be here in twenty minutes. You can continue cooking, I'll get Seth to set the table." And she rushed out of the kitchen.

Whenever someone came over for dinner, my mom acted like a tornado. She got a little nervous, even when the guests were really good friends.

I finished the meal and put the pie into the oven. It would be ready when the guests had finished eating.

Fifteen minutes later, the door bell rang. „I'll get it!", my brother shouted and I heard him almost flying down the stairs. I ignored the deep voices of Billy and his son and brought the bowls with the salad, the cooked carrots and the mashed potatoes to the living room. „Hey, Leah", Jacob said, „Can I help you?" I shook my head. „You can sit down." I returned to the kitchen to get the steaks. I could hear my dad talking to Billy in the hallway and pressed my ear at the door, trying to understand what they were talking about. „So, Harry, how is your daughter?", Billy asked. My dad sighed. „She appears to be good. But she changed. She's become really cruel. Sometimes I don't know what to do with her. She doesn't want to talk about it, but she needs to, you know? For a few weeks I was afraid she might become depressive." I jumped away and hurried with the steaks back to the living room. I didn't want to hear my dad worrying about me. I was fine. I felt great! I just didn't want to talk about it. As if anyone could have understood.

Jacob was talking to Seth when I put the steak on the table. The doorbell rang again, and I heard the voice of Charlie Swan, chief detective of the tiny town of Forks and one of my father's best friends. „Dinner's ready!", I shouted, and seconds later, the men rushed into the living room. My mom joined us, too, and we began eating.

I was cutting my steak when I felt someone looking at me. I looked up and saw Billy Black's dark eyes resting on me. I felt uncomfortable. Billy was our tribe's chief, if anything like that still existed, but I sometimes felt his authority and wisdom, and I didn't like the way he was watching me right now. But then he looked away, and I tried to forget to have ever stared into his deep eyes.

„So", Charlie said, „I have a big surprise." We all looked at him. „Maybe – maybe my daughter will come to live with me." „Isabella?", Jacob said excited. Charlie nodded. „That's great!", my mom exclaimed, „Don't forget to bring her with you then, OK?" Charlie looked pleased. One could see he really missed his daughter. I looked at my dad and wondered what he would think if I ran away. He'd probably be dead scared, and my mom would be the one comforting him, saying I was doing fine.

Everyone stayed silent for a while, then my dad said: „Billy, Old Quil and Sam are coming over after dinner. We have to talk about something." I dropped my fork, but nobody noticed. „Another council meeting?", Jacob asked surprised. Charlie laughed. „You have quite a lot to talk about these days." Billy nodded. But before he could explain in detail what they were going to talk about, I asked: „Has everyone finished?" They nodded, eager for 'my mom's' apple pie. I began to collect the plates and commanded Seth to help me. He struck his tongue at me, but stood up to take the bowls. Jacob collected the cutlery, and together, we went to the kitchen. „Just put everything onto the table", I said and took out the dessert plates. Seth took them and went back to the living room. „Did you know it?", I snapped at Jacob. „What?", he asked innocently. „That this was going to be another one of their stupid council meeting?" He shrugged. „What's so bad about them? You don't have to sit there and listen." I sighed. „Maybe they should invite tourists the next time. There's nothing to talk about!" „Well, nothing you would know", he said. „You don't know anything, either!" I grabbed the dessert forks. „And I don't care. What's so bad about a council meeting in your house?" I couldn't believe it. Hadn't I thought this afternoon that maybe, Mr. What's-so-bad-about-council-meetings Black was not so bad? Well, apparently, he was even worse. I didn't answer. If he didn't know, there was no reason why I should tell him.

I took the pie out of the oven. Jacob beamed and followed me back into the living room, where I served it. Everyone praised my mom for it, but I didn't care. I was still thinking about that council meeting.

The bell rang. My dad, who was talking to Billy and Charlie, looked at me. „Leah, could you go get the door, please?" I groaned, but stood up and opened the door.

Old Quil entered, followed by Sam. Quil smiled at me, but I just nodded. Then I looked at Sam. He tried to avoid my look, but I wasn't letting him. I said: „Hello, Sam", trying to sound very cool. He finally looked at me, and I instantly wished he hadn't. His eyes, his beautiful brown eyes, were full of pain, but he sounded cool as well – we both could hide our emotions pretty well. „Hi, Leah. Billy and Harry are in the living room?" „Yes", I said, and the two of them walked past me into the living room.

I thought for a moment whether I should join them, but I decided to go to my room. I hated council meetings. It was a pity for the pie, though. Sam knew it was my recipe, not my mom's.

That had been the worst dinner in history. First, I had caught my dad talking about me with Billy. Then Charlie had told us that his daughter would probably join him soon. I didn't like Isabella Swan at all. And last, but not least, they were having a stupid meeting down in our living room. Even if I wanted to get rid of HIM, HE always returned.

I felt even worse now than I had felt today after school.

My notebook was still lying on my table. It was a brown leather notebook, embroidered with pearls and feathers. The tourists would have been thrilled to see it. They wouldn't have understood the symbols, though. The intricate pattern meant something like 'Love forever', or 'Forever yours', and it had been a gift by HIM. I hadn't destroyed anything since the break-up. Everything that had reminded me of HIM had been packed into a box, and the box stood underneath my bed. The only thing I had kept to see for everybody had been this notebook. HE had given it to me because HE knew I loved to write down my thoughts and worries.

Before the break-up, it had been completely empty. But since then, I had scribbled so many words onto the pages, and every day, more words joined them. Nobody else could listen like my notebook could. Nobody else accepted my thoughts. And nobody else had stayed on my side. Even my parents had accepted what had happened, and still liked him a lot. The break-up had soon become my fault. Which was strange, because I didn't do anything.

I opened it and searched for an empty page, reading through some of the words I had smeared onto the pages. They were the only witnesses of my true feelings.

I took out my pen and wrote down what had happened today. And then I wrote what I thought, too.

_I hate my dad. I hate my mum. I hate my brother. I hate my so-called best friends. I hate the stupid council. I hate Jacob Black. I hate my life. I hate being Quileute. I hate HIM._

Somebody knocked at my door. „Can I come in?", I heard Jacob asking. „If you must", I growled, and he opened the door. „I brought you a piece of the pie. It's delicious." I looked at him, shutting my notebook. „Thank you", I said, confused. He handed me the plate and stood there now, in front of me. „That's a nice notebook", he said, nodding towards the leather-bound book. I shrugged. Then I realized he could read the symbols, so I turned the book around. „So... I was wondering whether you could borrow me your copy of 'The Lord of the Flies'. For school." „Sure." I stood up and went to my bookshelf. When I found the book, I tossed it to him. He caught it with ease. „Thanks, Leah." We were silent for a while. Then he said: „Listen, Leah, I'm sorry for what I said in the kitchen. I mean, I know why you don't like these meetings." He stared at my carpet. „That's OK", I said. „What's in that notebook?", he asked, sounding interested. I got angry again. „That's none of your business!" He raised his hands in defense. „Sorry, I was just curious." I calmed down. Hadn't I decided to play nice? „No, I'm sorry. I just wrote some stuff. Nothing interesting." He smiled. It was a handsome smile. I had never noticed that before. „Will you let me read it someday?" I grinned. „Definitely not." Like I was letting him read my emotional outbursts of the last months! Funny guy, really. „Just wondering", he said. „Haven't you anything else to wonder about?" „Nah, not really. My life is boring." We laughed. I realized that it was easy to talk to Jacob. „Who's your English teacher?", I asked. „Mrs Culver", he said and groaned. I chuckled. „She's nice. You just need to work a little." „That's what I'm worried about. I tend to forget to work." Yes, he looked like that. Like he never did anything for school. „You should change that, you know." He saluted „I'll try, Ma'am!" We grinned at each other.

Again someone knocked at my door. My brother entered. „So here you are!", he said, talking to Jacob. „The meeting's over. Your dad wants to go home." Jacob nodded. „The Jake-Taxi is coming." He turned to me. „See you tomorrow, Leah. Good night." I smiled. „Good night, Jacob." He and Jacob left my room, and Seth shut the door.

I reopened my notebook to complete today's entry.

_Correction: Maybe I don't hate Jacob._


	4. Attack Of The PaleFaces

Attack Of The Pale-Faces

The next morning, I woke up quite early, shivering from a weird nightmare. It was still dark outside, but I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. From the window, I could see part of the beach. A tent was standing there, and there were two figures walking across the stones. They looked a lot like the tourists from _The Lonesome Creek Store_.

After I've finished taking a shower, I brushed and dried my hair, but it just didn't want to stay in place today. I didn't even know why I cared. There was no one to look good for.

Looking for my mascara – I was sure I had left it in the kitchen – I went downstairs into the living room. The remnants of yesterday's dinner and meeting were still there. I saw a piece of paper that had been torn apart, with words written in Sam's handwriting. Unfortunately the rest of the paper was gone. I switched on the light and sat down, trying to read what he had written. The paper said something like „border is still the sa-, -ens not keen on bre- the treaty. Tribe safe."

I stared at the words, trying to decipher their meaning. „Sa-", that probably meant „same". But what border was still the same? And „bre- the treaty" could only mean „breaking the treaty". But what treaty was in danger to be broken? And who was in this treaty? The „-ens", whoever they were. But the last line was even more mystifying: „Tribe safe." „Tribe" could only mean our tribe, the Quileutes. But safe from what?

I decided to keep that piece of paper and rushed back to my room, forgetting my mascara. I glued the piece into my notebook, scribbling three enormous question marks beneath it.

An hour later my brother and I were on our way to school. He seemed downcast. „What's up, Seth?", I asked. He looked at me for a second, then he answered: „I had a fight yesterday." I stared at him. „You had what?" His face turned red. „When I returned from Embry's, there was this tourist couple on the beach. They were excited about something, so I went over to take a look." „So?" „Well, they had found a bracelet. One of ours, you know. Leather, with some wooden art work. Definitely Billy's, by the looks of it. I told them to hand me the bracelet, but they refused. I tried to explain that it belonged to someone, and they just said 'Finders, keepers'. They were like so keen on finding a Quileute artwork, they didn't even think it might belong to somebody. Then I told them that they could buy similar bracelets in Port Angeles, but the man got angry and said I was an annoying kid and that I should leave. I tried to reason with him, but he didn't listen, and then he pulled his wife away and murmured something about 'stupid redskin' or something like that. And I was just trying to get that bracelet back. I'm not too sure, but it might belong to Jacob or Billy." I sighed. „Yeah, I met these two weirdos at the store. They were trying to find a tour guide."

I parked the car and told Seth not to worry about the tourists and that I would take care of that after school. He smiled and ran off to meet his friends.

I saw Kayla and walked towards her. „Morning!", I said, but I had to say it again before she reacted. „Oh! Hey, Leah." She smiled, but for some reason her eyes were ice-cold. I flinched at her gaze. „Is everything alright?" Kayla raised an eyebrow. „You know, I think you exaggerate." „What?" I stared at her. „What do you mean?" She rolled her eyes. „Please, stop acting innocent, OK? I've been on your side all the time, but now you've gone too far." If I hadn't been so confused about her comment, I would have laughed. She had been on my side all the time? Good joke, really. „I don't know what you're talking about!" „I think you're sick, Leah. Calm down, and then we can be friends again." My eyes narrowed. „Could you maybe just tell me what I'm supposed to have done?" She seemed irritated. „Like you don't know! Very clever, Leah, smashing Sam's windows and cutting the wheels of his car and then pretending not to have done anything! You disgust me, really!"

And I saw my friend walking away from me. „But I didn't-" She was too far to hear me. Someone bumped into me. It was Jared, but he just shot me an evil glare and went with Kim inside.

I could feel hot tears burning in my eyes. What was happening here? One of my only friends had just dumped me because of something I hadn't done! What had Kayla said? HIS windows had been smashed and someone had cut HIS car's wheels? Served HIM right, but I would never ever do anything like that. How could Kayla believe that?

I blinked the tears away and walked towards the school when I heard someone shouting my name. I turned round and saw Jacob running towards me. He didn't look friendly, either. When he had reached me, he panted: „Why did you do that?" „I didn't-" „Oh, come on!", he snapped, „As if anyone else would deliberately destroy Sam's things!" „But I didn't!", I shouted, tears welling up again. That was a strange feeling. I hadn't cried a lot in the last months. I had put on a brave face. „That's just evil, Leah. I never thought you'd be able to do something so horrible. I hope for you that the police isn't going to be involved." He looked at me, and when I saw what lay in his gaze I really started to cry. Jacob looked disappointed. „I didn't, Jacob, believe me! I was home all night. Somebody else must have done it. What about the surfers camping on the beach?" He raised an eyebrow, ignoring the tears that were streaming down my cheeks. „Yeah, right, blame somebody else. Great idea, Leah. You should at least admit it!" He let me stand where I was and rushed away.

I turned round and walked back to my car. Great. Ditching school on the second day after summer break.

But I couldn't go in there anymore. I felt horribly sick.

Sam and I, we had been a couple for the last two years. We had met right before summer break before I started as a freshman, and we started going out as soon as the school year had started. Sam was popular -a handsome boy with long hair and a lot of muscles. He promised me everything: From staying always true to marrying me as soon as I got out of high school. I loved him, and he loved me.

A little more than half a year ago, something changed. He called me to say that he had gotten sick, and that I couldn't visit him. Then he disappeared for two weeks. His mother and I, we searched the whole woods and had almost given up when he returned. But instead of telling me what had happened, he disappeared every night and was terribly tired during the day. And he was running a high temperature, but he assured me he wasn't sick. Still, a lot of things changed. He cut his hair short, for example, and suddenly he looked more like twenty-five than eighteen. I was angry with him, but I was sure we could work it out.

Then one week-end my Makah cousin, Emily, was visiting me and my parents. Emily and I, we grew up together. She had always been something like a sister to me, and I wanted her to meet Sam, because of course I had told her everything about him. So I invited him over, and as soon as I introduced Sam to Emily, the look in his eyes changed completely. He looked at her like a blind man seeing the sun for the very first time. Like she was an angel and he was just a small human, calling for her help. I stood there, watching him, utterly confused and extremely hurt.

Two weeks later, he wanted to talk to me. He calmly explained to me that we had to go our separate ways. He said he was sorry, but he just couldn't be with me anymore. I could see that it hurt him to say that, and that made it worse for me. What could have gone so wrong that he was _forced_ to break up with me?

I didn't say anything that day. I didn't cry, I didn't get angry. I think that confused him. We parted, and I had went home and locked myself in my room. I even stopped going to school for two week.

When I came out again, everyone was talking behind my back how happy they were for Sam and Emily. Apparently she had given in to his courting. Even my parents were on Sam's side now. They weren't thrilled that he had made me unhappy, but I overheard my dad saying that he had never seen Sam so happy and that it was good the way it was.

Of course I was angry. I became a little monster. Always snapping at people, always looking angry or annoyed. I had fun in making people feel bad. The worst thing was that at the same time, my two best friends, Rachel and Rebecca Black, had decided to leave La Push, which meant leaving me as well. So only Kayla and Jess had stayed on my side (well, partially. Jess had stayed closer to my side than Kayla), and we'd never been really close.

But I could never ever destroy someone's property. Why would they believe that?

While driving home, I saw the white couple walking to the store again. I parked and got out of the car, ready to make them pay for my anger.

„Hey!", I shouted at them, and they turned round. „It's the girl from the shop!", I heard the woman say, and her husband nodded. „How can we help you? Would you like to accept our offer?" I raised an eyebrow. „Your offer isn't different from how you pale-faces treated the blacks or my forefathers and foremothers." I knew they would get a thrill out of me calling them pale-faces. „You have something that belongs to us." I pointed at the bracelet around the woman's arm. „It belongs to our chief." I saw the woman getting excited. „He really needs it back for some -", I thought for a moment and then I got an idea. „He needs it for a special ritual. Unfortunately tourists are not permitted – which you can probably understand, but I can show you our chief if you give me that bracelet back." The woman nodded eagerly – apparently she didn't understand a thing about Indian culture – and her husband nodded, too. I smiled as she handed me the bracelet. Then I told them how to find Billy's house and watched them walking away.

I looked at the bracelet. Yes, some of the wooden pearls were Billy's work, but it wasn't his bracelet. Seth hadn't seen the little name that had been carved into one of the pearls. 'Emily'. I sighed. So this was a bracelet Sam had given to his new girlfriend. I wondered whether I should give it to her and drove back home.

My dad was sitting on the veranda, Sam next to him. They didn't look surprised to see me. My dad stood up and came towards me, slapping my face. I was shocked. My dad never ever hit anybody. He looked angry. I just stared at him with wide, tearful eyes. „That's it, Leah. You're grounded! You can be glad you have your college savings, otherwise I would make you work to pay for the damage!" I gasped. My college fund? The one I had worked hard for to obtain? The one that had enough money for two college years? Was he crazy? I held my cheek, where I could still feel the hot imprint of my dad's hand.

Sam hadn't said anything yet. But now he came forward, looking at me with accusing eyes. „I never thought you'd do something like this, Leah." The tone of his voice cut me deeper than my dad's slap or the betrayal of my friend. Tears were coming up again. „Do you realize you could have hurt Emily or me? I'm really, really disappointed." I had a big lump in my throat. „But I didn't-" My dad slapped my face again. „Stop talking now, young lady. Go up to your room. I don't want to see you today." I collected all my strength. „I DIDN'T DO IT!", I shouted, and tears were streaming down my face.

I looked at Sam. „Sam, please. You know me! You know I would never... Please! I didn't do it!" He looked away. „Who else, Leah? Who else would damage my house and car?" „I don't know!", I snapped, „I just know I didn't do it! Why do you think I would? To make everyone hate me even more?" He shook his head. „See you, Harry", he nodded to my dad and walked away. „You stupid asshole!", I shouted after him, but my dad slapped me a third time and silenced me.

When I was back in my room, I started breaking everything that came near me – a pencil, a cup, a plate, a figurine of a wolf, the Quileute ancestor. I was so angry with everyone. Why didn't they believe me? Was I that unstable? Such a horrible monster? I turned my music up so I wouldn't hear anything.

It was already dark when somebody knocked on my door. I turned the music down and opened the door. It was my dad, and he was crying. „I'm sorry, Leah!", he said, his voice broken, „I didn't mean to hit you. I'm so sorry, sweetie." He looked terrible, but I was still angry. „It's just... Sam just called. He said that one of the surfers came by his house this afternoon and told him his friends had damaged the car and house last night while being drunk. Sam said he feel horrible to have accused you." I shrugged. „Can you forgive your old dad?", he asked. I sighed and gave him a hug to signal him it was okay. He looked pleased and handed me a pretty necklace. „That's for you. I hope it can make you feel better." I smiled and looked at the necklace. It was silver, with a silver half moon and a silver wolf pendant. It was beautiful. „Thank you, Dad." He nodded and left the room after planting a soft kiss on the cheek he had hit.

I looked out of the window. Stupid, stupid pale-faces. They were making everything worse! What would happen next? Would they buy the reservation and build some of their ugly hotels? That would probably be my fault, too.

Thinking about the pale-faces, I remembered I still had Emily's bracelet. I would give it back to her tomorrow.

Tomorrow. I groaned. Tomorrow was school. Would they apologize for behaving like this? What would Kayla say? Would she say anything at all? And what about Jared? And Jacob, for that matter?

Like I said: My life sucked. A lot.


	5. Somebody Needs To Apologize

Somebody Needs To Apologize

I still felt bad when I woke up the next morning. It was raining outside and the sky was dark grey, reflecting my mood perfectly. My cheek still burnt from my dad's outburst of unnecessary rage, and I hadn't forgotten my f(r)iends' reactions.

I drove to school, Seth sitting next to me but staying silent all the time.

We arrived right on time, and I stormed to my locker to get out my history book. The history teacher didn't like it when a student was late.

I made it to the classroom before Mr. Cauldwell was there. My chair was next to Kayla's, so I put my book on our table and sat down. Kayla smiled, but I ignored her. She would have to apologize before I let her smile at me again.

History was boring, and Kayla didn't try to talk to me. Either she had decided to talk later, or she had given up on me.

Next class was English, where I still sat next to Jared. He wasn't as silent as Kayla (who was sitting in the front row next to Jess) – as soon as I had sat down, he turned to me and said: „I think I need to apologize." I looked into his eyes and nodded firmly. „Well... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have believed that you were the one – you know?" He looked at me, pleading. I sighed. „Apology accepted. If you never do that again, that is. I may be a bitch, but I'm not a hooligan." He smiled. „I know. I'm sorry." „It's okay." Our English teacher came in, and we were silent for a while. Then Jared pointed at my new necklace. „Never noticed that one before", he whispered so that Ms Timpson couldn't hear him, „It's pretty." „Thanks", I whispered back, „My dad gave it to me yesterday." His eyes widened. „So you forgave him?", he asked. I nodded. „He's still my dad, and he never had an outburst like this before, so I guess he never will have one again. Besides, I couldn't stand see him crying." He shrugged. „Hope it won't happen again, for your sake." We grinned a little, and although I didn't like him much – and he didn't like me much, either – it was some kind of armistice between us. One that hadn't been there before. I hoped it would stay like this – I didn't want Sam's friends being my foes.

At lunch break, Kayla came towards me. She didn't look like she wanted to apologize, though. „Hey, Leah. Did you do your homework in Spanish?" So that was what she wanted. Small talk so she wouldn't have to say sorry. What a great friend. „Yes", I answered coolly, „Why?" „Well, I didn't do number three, and I was wondering-" I interrupted her. „Listen Kayla, I don't know what you want. If you want to apologize for what you said yesterday, then do it. If not, then don't act like everything's normal, because it isn't." She stared at me for a second. „Okay?" She sounded confused. She probably had thought it would be a lot easier to get along with me again. „Then...", she breathed heavily, „Oh, there's Jess! See you later, Leah!" And she ran away. „Some friend!", I shouted after her and slammed the door of my locker.

„Having trouble?", a familiar husky voice asked behind me. It was Jacob, of course. „Maybe", I said, picking up my bag from the floor. „Are you hungry?", he asked, „The cafeteria serves spaghetti today." I realized I was pretty hungry. „Bolognese or napoli?", I asked when we walked to the cafeteria. „Both", he answered, „For meat-lovers and vegetarians." He smiled at me as we went to wait in line for our lunch. „Leah, how about I invite you today? Bolognese?" I nodded, a little bit surprised. „As part of my apology", he shrugged and threw me his crooked smile. I really liked that one. „Okay", I said, „Then I'm going to find somewhere to sit." He nodded, and I walked away.

Fortunately that was the tribal school. In every other school it would look weird for a junior girl to sit with a freshman boy – the other way round of course was just fine! - but in the reservation, everyone knew everyone else, and so the friends were more mixed among the grades.

I sat down at a small table and waited for Jacob to come. He turned up with a broad grin and two plates full with steaming spaghetti bolognese. It smelled good.

Another good thing about our school – our number of students was so small that we had a cook making the food for us and not some factory.

Jacob placed one plate in front of me and handed me fork, spoon and knife. „Bon appetit!", he said with a funny accent.

We were silent for a while, totally occupied with eating, but then Jacob laid down his fork. „Okay, so here comes my apology." He took a deep breath. „What I said was really mean. Even if you had done what I accused you of, I wouldn't have had the right to snap at you like that. See, I don't believe you could actually do something so malicious. I think you're a nice person – most of the time, that is. And I'm sorry I didn't listen to you yesterday. It's just that everyone was accusing you, and I- Oh, damn, I shouldn't find excuses for my behaviour. Can you forgive me?" He looked at me for a second, then he added: „I can invite you to lunch for the rest of the week if that makes you forgive me. Or I could invite you to see a movie, what do you think?" I felt a little overwhelmed with his ideas. „Jacob, it's okay. You don't have to do anything for me. Apology accepted." He breathed a sigh of relief. „Still, I should invite you to see a movie with me. Saturday?" I thought for a moment. This situation felt really weird. „Okay", I agreed, „Movie theatre on Saturday. But I'm paying for coke and popcorn." „Great!", he beamed.

We finished our meal and said good-bye, and I watched him rushing to his next class.

He really was a nice kid.

After school I brought Seth home and then went to Sam's and Emily's house. It was a pretty little house close to the woods, and I had always liked it there.

I rang the bell. After a few seconds, Emily opened the door. She seemed surprised to see me, but then she smiled. „Leah! How can I help you? Come in!" I remembered that we used to be like sisters and that it had always felt good to talk to her. That feeling was gone. I still liked her if I didn't think about her as Sam's new girl. But our relationship had never returned to normal.

„Actually, I just wanted to-" But she interrupted me. „Come inside, please. I've made muffins." She waved me inside, and I couldn't help but to think again how beautiful she was. Much more beautiful than I was. Maybe that had been the reason – but I blocked the thought, because it was ridiculous and childish. Sam would never have broken up with a girl because he had met someone more beautiful.

I followed her and sat down in the kitchen, trying not to notice the differences. „Tea? Coffee? Water?" „Tea", I answered, eyeing the pile of muffins on the kitchen table suspiciously. Why the heck did she need so many muffins?

She placed a cup of tea and a muffin right in front of me and sat down, too. „I'm sorry Sam thought you damaged our house. He feels really bad", she said. I shrugged. „It's OK. I mean, I know why I have been accused. But I didn't come here for an apology." Though it would be nice to hear one from Sam. „I found this bracelet on the beach. Does it belong to you?" I handed her the bracelet and saw her face lighten up. „Thanks, Leah! I thought I'd lost it!" She gave me a wide smile.

Suddenly we heard how the front door was shut with a loud noise, and seconds later, Sam stood in the kitchen. He looked like he had run a lot. He smiled at Emily, and in his smile was so much love that it hurt. I couldn't remember whether he had ever smiled at me that way. Then he saw me. „Hello, Leah. What are you doing here?" His tone was friendly. Emily answered for me. „She gave me my bracelet! She found it." To underline what she had just said she held the bracelet up high. Sam nodded. „That's very friendly of you, Leah." It sounded like 'Wouldn't have thought you'd actually do that'. He turned to Emily. „Could you leave us alone for a minute?" Emily nodded and looked at me again. „Eat your muffin, okay? It tastes really good." Then she walked out of the room, shutting the kitchen door. And I was alone with Sam.

A thousand thoughts came to me at once. I could ask him, finally, for his reasons. I could beg him to come back. I could tell him to go to hell. I could stab him, for that matter. All were thoughts that had come to me the last months. And I couldn't shake them off. I realized that I still loved him and that I couldn't let go. How did anyone ever survive a broken heart?

They didn't, I thought, and looked straight into Sam's eyes. I tried to look friendly, but I wasn't sure whether it worked, because he looked down, as if it hurt him to look at me.

„I'm sorry for accusing you, Leah. I should have known better. I _know_ better. I know _you_, Leah. I'm sorry I believed the damage was your fault. Can you forgive me?"

I shrugged. Could I? Probably. How could you not forgive your true love? And so I nodded. He sighed and sat down, looking even more serious.

„How are you?", he asked suddenly. I thought about that for a minute. „Okay, I guess." He looked a little bit more relaxed. „Really?" I nodded firmly, but it felt more as if I tried to convince myself.

Sam took a deep breath. „Look, Leah, I'm really sorry for – for what I've done to you. You don't have to forgive me for that. I wish I could explain it, but-" I raised my hands, feeling tears welling up. „Please, Sam, let's not talk about that, okay? I'm fine. I'm great! I already forgave you." What a big fat liar I was. I could never ever forgive him _that_. He had been mine, and now he was somebody else's, and this thought cut me deeper than anything else.

He didn't believe me, either, but he decided it was safer to change the subject. „If you say so... You haven't eaten your muffin yet." He pointed at it. I smiled bitterly. „I have to go", I said, „Lots of homework." He nodded and stood up. „Sure."

I opened the kitchen door and went out of the house. Sam followed me.

„See you, Lee-Lee." I flinched at my old nickname, but it was easy to act friendly. „Bye, Sam." I waved Emily good-bye, who was working in a little garden next to the house.

At home, I looked for my notebook. I didn't even know what to write, so I just drew lines with my pen. Emily and Sam looked so good together. Better than Sam and I had. Like they had been made for each other. I didn't like that thought, although it would imply that somewhere out there, there was someone made for me. I just had to find him. Or maybe he was going to find me.

Suddenly my cell phone rang. I looked at the display. JACOB BLACK, it said. Why the heck was he writing me? Had I forgotten something?

I opened the message.

hey leah, i thought that maybe we could watch this new james bond movie. if you like action, that is. they show it saturday night at 7 p.m. at port angeles. still interested? jake

With a sigh, I answered him. He really was an annoying kid. I'd already told him that I'd come with him. Saturday night. For some reason I was looking forward to it. Jacob was a funny person. If there was one person who could get my mind off Sam, it was Jacob and his stupid, funny, annoying ways of interacting with people.

Sure , I wrote, saturday seven p.m. i'll drive.

While hitting 'Send', I looked outside the window. It had started to rain again, and with great pleasure I watched the white couple running away from the beach with no umbrella or anything else that would keep them dry.

Stupid pale-faces. One didn't have to be an Indian to know that on the Olympic peninsula, an umbrella was the most important utensil.

great! see you tomorrow , Jake wrote back, and I smiled. At least one soul who was glad to see me.


	6. A Night Out With Jacob

**I just wanted to thank everyone who has read and/or reviewed the story so far. I am really happy that people like what I write, and I hope that you will continue read, review and enjoy Leah's life (we'll see whether _she_'s going to enjoy it sooner or later). So thanks to everyone! **

**:( I still don't own Twilight :(**

A Night Out With Jacob

It was Saturday afternoon, and I was standing in front of the Blacks' house, armed with an umbrella and a purse.

I had spent hours in front of my wardrobe, trying to find something to wear. Finally I had settled on blue jeans, a black top and my black leather jacket as well as my favourite shoes, my high heeled boots. I didn't have many shoes, and the boots were the only ones with heels. You didn't need high heels in the reservation.

I knocked on the door, and minutes later, Jacob opened. He looked just as desperate as I had when I had tried to find some clothes. But then he started to smile and gave me a big hug.

I entered the house, trying not to wonder about the hug. It felt nice to be pressed against him, to hear his heart beating.

„You're ready?", I asked and looked for Billy. „Billy's with Charlie." „How did he-" „Charlie came to get him, and he's bringing him back, too." I nodded and smiled at him. „Are you ready?", I repeated. He looked confused for a second, but then he said: „Yes, of course. I just need to find my money..." He looked around the room and then grabbed some bills from the kitchen table. „Ready!" He beamed.

Together, we walked to my car. I started the engine, and we drove off. Jacob turned on the radio. Some hip hop song was playing, and Jacob turned it up. „I like that one", he explained and grinned. We drove through Forks, where we saw some of Forks High's juniors going to the diner. Jacob snorted. „That's Mike Newton", he pointed at a blond boy, „His parents own this hiking store." I shrugged. I didn't care about that Newton guy. „He's a little stupid. He tried to flirt with that Cullen girl." My hands tightened around the wheel. Just like everyone else in the reservation, I knew the Cullens. They were a family of adopted children and had moved here about one and a half years ago. The children went to Forks High School. They all were extraordinarily beautiful, with white skin and golden eyes. The father worked at the hospital, his name was Carlisle - his name was the only one known in the reservation. We didn't like the Cullens. We didn't like them at all. The Quileute tribe hated them. No one knew the reasons for that, but it was some kind of natural hatred.

„Which one?", I asked, trying to imagine that Newton boy flirting with one of these arrogant Cullen brats. „The blond one. Don't know her name." I giggled. „He tried to flirt with her?" Jacob nodded. „I saw it when I was bringing Dad to Charlie last week. She was walking to the library, and he came towards her, grinning and joking a lot. She just raised an eyebrow and walked past him." „Serves him right. Doesn't she go out with that big Cullen guy?" Jacob nodded, grinning. „I'm still waiting for his reaction..."

We laughed loudly and left Forks behind us.

For a while, we didn't say a thing. Then Jacob asked: „Has Sam apologized?" I sighed. Did we really have to bring that up again? But I looked into Jacob's eyes, and he looked dead serious. „Yes, he did", I answered. Hopefully he wouldn't dig deeper.

But with Jacob, hoping didn't work. He never cared about how anyone felt about something. Or should I say he cared too much to just shut up? If he had something on his mind, he had to say it.

„What did he say?"

I rolled my eyes and thought about what the question.

„He said he was sorry and that he should've known better." „Jerk", Jacob spat. I nodded. „No, really", Jacob said, „I do think he is a jerk. I don't really get why he – you know, left you." I hissed. „That's not something I want to talk about, Jacob." He groaned. „But you have to talk about it to someone, Leah! Everyone knows you're hurt, but it would be better to talk to someone!" I snorted. „And that one should be you?" „I didn't say that. I just think you should stop hurting yourself." How sweet of him. He worried about me. Ugh. I so did not want to have this conversation. But I wasn't getting away from it. Dumb, annoying, freaky Jacob. He really knew how to get on my nerves.

„Listen, Jacob", I said calmly, „This isn't as easy as you think it is. I don't want to talk to anybody. Like they would understand! See, the minute he was going out with Emily, everyone was happy for him. I heard things like 'Oh, they're so sweet together' or 'Looks like they belong to each other'. Do you really think anyone could empathise with me? It's not like they weren't sympathetic in the beginning, but everyone seems to believe that Sam is better off with Emily than with me. Do you know how much _that _hurts? Even my parents changed sides! For them and for everyone else I became the dark side of the Force, you know? And no one wants to listen to Darth Leah." Jacob chuckled, but then he looked serious again. „I'd listen to you", he stated, „I'd try to help you." I laughed bitterly. „Like you don't think they're sweet together!" „I don't deny that", he said, „But I'm still angry with him that he broke up with you."

I felt tears welling up again, but I wiped them off before Jacob could see them. „You were angry with him?", I managed to say. He nodded firmly. „It hurt to see you so sad. I mean, of course you were an annoying, unbearable bitch, but the thing is, I could understand why you behaved that way." I didn't really know what to think of that comment. „You didn't say anything", I finally said. He looked away. „I know. I felt a little intimidated by you. But you're not so bad if one gets to know you a little." I smiled. „Thank you, Jacob."

We were silent for a while, and I drove around the streets of Port Angeles to find a parking lot. Then Jacob said: „So, if you ever need anyone to talk – I'm there."

I smiled. „Thanks, Jacob. You don't know what that means to me." He really didn't. It felt like I suddenly had an ally in a reservation full of enemies. If he really meant what he had said, that was. But then, why would Jacob lie to me? He wouldn't gain anything by offering me his friendship. Just angry or surprised looks. Maybe some would declare him for insane.

We got out of the car, and Jacob grinned. „I've been looking forward to watching that movie! I've heard it's really good." I rolled my eyes. „At least you didn't ask me to see that bloody alien movie with you. I hate movies like that." He chuckled. „You're such a girl, Leah." I shook my head in amusement. „Tell me something I don't know."

He bought the tickets, and I bought popcorn and drinks. Jacob looked pleased. The movie was about to start in fifteen minutes, so we entered the movie hall and sat down.

Jacob started munching popcorn, but after five minutes he turned to me and asked: „So, what do you want to do after High School?" „Leaving", I answered immediately. „Leaving? You mean, leave the reservation?" I nodded. „You sure about that?" I nodded again. „What's different about other places?" I stared at him. „Well, they're other places. Not everything consists of cliffs, a beach and some Indians." „Nothing is as beautiful as La Push", he countered. „Maybe. But there aren't any Sams at other places." Jacob shrugged. „You don't know that. Besides, your dad would kill you if you married a pale-face." I giggled. „Well, there are dark-faces, too." „Hm." He seemed to think about that. „Still, you should probably marry one of us. Even if it is one of our cousins on the east coast." „Why?" „Well, I guess we're the only ones who could stand your temper..." I hit him, but he just laughed. „I'm serious, Leah! Everyone else wouldn't know what to do with you." I shrugged. „We'll see that. Maybe I won't marry at all." „Nah, that's not going to happen. The Clearwaters have to live on – Seth doesn't really have the genes. He's too friendly."

I laughed so hard that my ribs started to hurt, and then the movie began.

It was just the average James Bond movie. Good looking spy has to save the world from an extremely dangerous Russian villain (like the Cold War was still going on) and meets a sexy woman with whom he has sex. Then he finds out that she is in fact very evil, and then he meets the good girl whom he has to save from the villain. They have sex and either she dies or they go separate ways.

It was funny, though, especially with Jacob sitting next to me. We were munching popcorn, and Jacob was throwing some of it at other people. Actually, most of our popcorn landed on the seats and in the hairs of others. He was commenting the movie, too. Sometimes he declared Bond for insane, sometimes he encouraged him, and most of the time, he commented the clothes (or lack of clothes) of the girls. At some point, when Bond was having sex again, Jacob bent to me and asked: „What do you think of him, hm? Is that a potential husband?" I grinned. „He's not bad for a pale-face." He laughed. „We Quileute look better, though. By the way, did you and Sam-" I hit him immediately, but it was more playful than serious.

It was so easy being with Jacob. Sure, he was still a kid, but taking care of his father had made him psychically older. I didn't have to think about what to say, and he just accepted whatever came out of my mouth. He thought it was fun hanging out with me, and he wanted to be my friend.

That was all I could hope for. Jacob I'm-so-important Black had become Jacob I-wanna-be-your-friend Black. Maybe I had just misinterpreted his behaviour. Maybe I had wanted him to be arrogant, but apparently, he was funny and pleasantly annoying. And he was right: I needed someone to talk to. Not necessarily about Sam, but just about everything. It felt good to talk.

I corrected myself.

It felt good talking _to him_.

After the movie, we decided to go and eat something at Pizza Hut. We had a little fight about who was inviting who and settled on paying separately. He ordered a pizza, while I settled on pasta with bolognese sauce. „You like that one, don't you?", he asked. „Sure!", I grinned, „After all I'm a carnivore!" He shook his head. „Poor animals." „Why? They're tasty!" We laughed.

After a few bites, I asked: „What do you want to do after school?" He shrugged. „Don't know yet. I thought about going to college, but I'd feel bad about leaving Dad behind. My sisters almost never visit." I nodded. „And what's your car doing?" „Still repairing it. Should be fit soon enough, though. I just need some more parts." „Can you show it to me?" He looked surprised. „What? The car?" I nodded. He thought about that. „Sure, why not? You could come over and help me a little." „I'd love that!", I said and smiled.

We finished, paid and walked back to my car. The ride was very quiet, and when I looked at Jacob, I saw that he was staring out of the window, apparently thinking.

„Is everything all right?", I asked. My question startled him, and he looked at me, a little confused. „Yeah, I'm okay. I was just thinking." „About what?" „Nothing, really. My mind just wandered around a little." As if to change subjects, he said: „That's a pretty necklace", pointing at the wolf-and-moon necklace that I was wearing. „Thanks", I said, still wondering what he had been thinking about. „Who gave it to you?" „My dad", I answered. Jacob was silent for a while, then he said: „It fits to our Quileute history." I snorted. „Yeah, right, we're all descendants of wolves." He grinned. „Stupid legends, hm?" I nodded.

We arrived at his house, and we got out of the car. He hugged me again. „Thanks a lot, Leah. I really enjoyed tonight." I smiled. „Thank _you_, Jacob. It was your idea, remember?" He grinned. „Yeah, right. That should be my tribe name – The One With The Good Ideas." We laughed, and then he walked to his house.

I drove home and sprinted to my room. I pulled out my notebook, looked for my pen and started to write down tonight's events. The words just came streaming out of me. Finally, the notebook contained a happy event.

I desperately hoped that it would stay that way

That night, I heard a wolf howling in the woods.


	7. Halloween Haunt

Halloween Haunt

It was the end of October, and Halloween was coming near. Seth was excited – he and some of his friends wanted to do a movie night with loads of horror movies. Of course my dad had said yes, and now they were preparing our house for the visit of five teenagers, each one as annoying as my little brother.

So while Seth was looking for his sleeping bag, I was looking for an escape. I didn't want to spend the night with six excited, frightened little boys, so I was trying to find somewhere else to go. Kayla was having a party, but we hadn't talked to each other since she had accused me of having damaged Sam's things. Emily had asked whether I wanted to come to her house, but I'd rather spend Halloween with my little brother's friends than with Sam and Emily. Especially because Jared and Kim had been invited, too, and I couldn't stand two happy couples.

No, I definitely didn't want to spend Halloween with them.

There was Jacob, of course, but I was afraid of asking him. I didn't really know why, because we'd become good friends. I had started to pick him up before school, and we had met quite often ever since we had gone to the movies. He had shown me his car, and I had helped him repairing it. We had studied for tests, and I had helped him with his homework. If we couldn't see each other, we talked on the phone, and we had gone to Port Angeles to see other movies. Sometimes we just took a walk on the beach and talked about everything that came to our minds. Jacob had made me say things I would have never told anybody else, and he had even read two or three entries in my notebook.

Still, I didn't want to ask him whether we could do anything together on Halloween. We never had stayed overnight at each other's place, and it felt weird to even think about it.

The day before Halloween I was doing some research for history class when my cell rang. I looked at the display. JACOB BLACK.

hey leah! would you like to do something on halloween? we could go to the beach and make a fire. ly jake

I smiled and grabbed the telephone to call him. Billy answered the phone. „Black, hello?" „Hey, Billy!", I greeted him, „Can I speak to Jacob?" Billy chuckled. He couldn't really understand our friendship. After all, the only person I was friendly to was Jake. Everyone else was still on my hit list. Except for my family, maybe.

A minute later, Jacob was on the phone. „Hey, Leah! So you got my message?" „Yes", I said, „And I think it's a brilliant idea." „Really?" He sounded glad. „You know, I thought we could make a fire and roast some hot dogs and marshmallows. And after that, we could go to our garage and sleep there. I know you've got a kindergarten party at your house, and I don't want to wake up Dad just in case we return late, so I thought that would be the best solution." I beamed. „Jake, you're the best!" I could hear him chuckle, then he said: „We could go buy hot dogs and marshmallows now, what do you think? I could come over, and then we could drive to the supermarket in Forks." That sounded really good, so I agreed, and he promised to be at my house in five minutes.

I ran downstairs and told Mom about my plans for the night of Halloween. She just said: „Okay, sweetie, but take care of yourself, okay?" I nodded and left the house. Of course it was raining, so I opened my umbrella and went to my car.

While I was waiting there, Kayla passed me. She was holding hands with one of the Forks High seniors, whose name I didn't know. She saw me and came towards me, her boyfriend looking a little stressed. Apparently he didn't feel too well with La Push's most annoying bitch. That being me, of course.

„Hey, Leah", Kayla said, trying to sound indifferent. But she wasn't as used to it as I was, so I could hear an edge of excitement in her voice. Maybe she wanted to tell me why she was going out with this guy. „Hello, Kayla", I said coolly. As opposed to her, I could sound perfectly indifferent. „So...", she seemed to think about how she could say what she wanted to say, „I'm having a party tomorrow." „I know." She sighed. „I wanted to ask you whether you'd like to come, too." I acted as if I had to think about it, then I said: „Thank you for your invitation, Kayla, but I'm already doing something with Jacob." Her eyes widened. „What's going on with you and Jacob, anyway?", she asked. I thought that she sounded angry. Maybe she was pissed that I had turned her invitation down. „What do you think?", I asked back. She shrugged. „He's a little too young." I rolled my eyes. „We're friends. Good friends. Why do you care?" „I-" She stopped mid-sentence because Jacob was running towards us. „Okay. See you, Leah." She walked away just as Jacob arrived. „What did she want?", he asked, stressing the word 'she' as if it was something disgusting. „Inviting me to her stupid little party", I said as I opened the door and got in my car. Jacob entered on the other side, and I drove to Forks.

The supermarket was a little more crowded than usual, and we saw a few families buying loads of candy. Jacob grabbed a pack of marshmallows, and then we went to the fridges to find hot dogs. Just as we went around the corner, we saw four really pale figures walking down the hallway towards the candy. „That's the Cullens", Jacob whispered. Just as he said that, one of them turned round as if he had heard what Jacob had said. It was the boy with the bronze hair who didn't look as muscular as his brothers. One of them, the big, burly one with the brown curls, was with him and drew him with the rest. The two other ones were girls – one really small, with black, spiky hair, the other one the tall, blond one with whom – according to Jake - the Newton freak had tried to flirt. „They look like they've escaped a horror movie", Jacob said next to me, looking a little bit intimidated. I snorted. „Yes, a horror movie that's based on spoiled rich brats and plastic surgery." Jake hit me, and we laughed.

Back in the car, we started planning. „I'll come and get you", Jake said, munching chips. „Don't crumble", I muttered. He grinned. „I'll bring something to light the fire, but there should be enough driftwood on the beach. You bring the food and loads of blankets. I'll try to find as many blankets at home as I can, too. We'll start the fire when it's getting dark, okay?" He sounded really excited, which looked cute. It was a long time ago that someone had looked so happy to do something with me. „Sure!", I said, and I felt just as excited as Jake. „Great." He looked very pleased with himself. „I'll try to find some spooky stories I can tell you", he said with his mouth full. I rolled my eyes. „If you want to... Don't forget to wear warm clothes." I stopped at Jake's house, and he got out of my car. „See you tomorrow, Leah!" I smiled. „Good night, Jake!"

Back home, I started to pile up every blanket and sleeping bag that we could spare. When I was done, I pulled out my notebook and my pen. The notebook was almost completely filled, there were only a few white pages left. Thanks to Jacob, the last two months had been full of great events and happy feelings, and just as I had used it to write down my pain and anger, I now used it to record my happiness. But today, I didn't write anything. I started to draw something, and after a few lines I realized that I was drawing my necklace's pendant, the wolf and the moon. I liked that motif. Even if I didn't really care about the Quileute legends, they still were part of my life, and so the wolf felt familiar.

Suddenly I realized that I didn't really know our legends. After all, when my dad had started to tell them, I had either been occupied with kissing Sam or I didn't care enough to listen. I would have to ask him to tell them again.

That night, I didn't sleep well. I woke up at three o'clock in the morning, hearing loud howls coming from the woods. The howls frightened me – it felt as if they were calling out to someone. Almost human, I thought. But then it was silent, and I quickly fell asleep.

The next day I waited eagerly for the evening. I thought about calling Jake, but that seemed a little ridiculous regarding that we'd see each other in just a few hours.

I took a shower when it was getting dark and brushed my long hair. Then I got dressed in my warmest clothes.

The door bell rang. I opened the door.

„BOO!", something shouted, and I screamed. A dark cloak with a Scream mask was looking at me. I breathed hard, and Jake took off the mask. „Sorry", he grinned, „I couldn't resist." He hugged me. „Ready?" I nodded and told him to wait for just a second.

I ran upstairs, grabbed the blankets, the food and drinks and my notebook and ran downstairs again. I almost collided with Jake's abnormal muscular body, but he kept me from falling. „Careful!", he laughed, and I hit him. „Mom, we're gone!", I shouted, and my mom came out of the kitchen. She smiled at Jake. „Hello, Jacob." „Hi, Sue!" „Be careful, you two." I rolled my eyes. „Mom..." She patted my hair. „I didn't say anything!", she said, grinning.

My mom was really happy that I was friends with Jacob. She knew I was still a little monster towards most people, but she was glad that I had someone to talk to. And she liked Jake a lot, too.

We walked away, and I groaned. „Sometimes I really hate that. Like I'm still a child", I complained. Jake grinned. „Well, you're not eighteen yet, are you?" „But I will be, soon. November." He smiled. „I know."

We reached the beach and walked across the stones. Everywhere was driftwood, so there wouldn't be any problem with finding fire material.

We found a nice place not too far away from the water. The sun had almost set, and there was a blood-red stripe on the horizon. Jacob collected the wood and began to ignite it, while I prepared the two sticks with which we wanted to grill the hot dogs and marshmallows.

Soon a colorful fire was burning. The blue and green flames shot high in the air and warmed us. I wrapped myself up in all my blankets, and Jake did the same. We put the hot dogs on the sticks and held them into the fire.

It was cozy, and for once, it didn't rain. I was watching Jake, who looked a little creepy with his too large body in the light of the fire. I just saw him as a shadow, only his face was lit by the fire. He was watching the flames, and they mirrored in his bright eyes. He really was huge for his age. „Are you OK?", I asked, and he smiled at me. „Sure I am." I giggled. „What?", he demanded. „You look exactly like an Indian, with your long hair. The tourists would get a thrill out of it. You just need a feather and a pipe in your hand." He laughed. „Yeah, right. And you're who, then? My little Indian wife?" „Your mother", I stated, and we both laughed. Then we were silent for a while.

Suddenly Jacob said: „Come over here, Leah", and pointed at his side. I struggled with my blankets, but then I sat down next to him. He put an arm around my shoulder and looked at the ocean. The sun had completely disappeared, but there was still a small light stripe of sunlight.

I looked into Jacob's eyes. They were beautiful, and I tried to guess what he was thinking. He sighed, then he took his hot dog out of the fire and took a bite. „Tastes good", he said, and I tried mine.

So we sat there for a while, eating hot dogs and drinking coke, when his face suddenly brightened up. „I've got a story for you." I looked a little sceptical, but he just tightened his grip around me and said: „Don't worry, it's a nice one. The kind of stories girls like." He still hadn't convinced me, but I leaned against his shoulder and closed my eyes, inhaling his scent. I had never realized that he smelled nice. Uh, Leah, I warned myself. Stop it right there. „Okay", I said, „I'm waiting."

Jake cleared his throat and drank something, then he moved closer to me, looked into the fire and started.

_It was three days before All Saint's Day, and Lily was doing the laundry. Her parents would visit her so they could go together to the cemetery where her grandparents were buried. Lily wanted everything to be perfect, because she had had a huge fight with her parents four months ago and she wanted to make up for that._

_After she had finished doing the laundry, she carved a face into a pumpkin and put it in her hallway window. That way, the little children that were collecting candy on All Hallows' Evening could see that she would give them some. Lily had always loved Halloween – the glimpse of another world, the old history of that night, the trick-or-treating with Jack, her best friend and ex-lover. They had been together for a long time, and Lily had loved him more than anything else. She used to put some food on the doorsteps so the dead wouldn't enter the house to get something to eat. Of course that wasn't really Christian, but her grandmother, a very superstitious woman, had taught her to do so. But Lily hadn't done it ever since she moved back from the city to her old home town three years ago. _

_Lily went back into her house and made herself dinner. She was thirty-five years old and still lived alone, but she didn't care. She had never met anyone she liked enough to live with them. _

_It was already dark when she sat down in front of her TV to eat. A movie was running, something spooky about a vampire hunter, but she wasn't really paying attention. The book she was reading was much more interesting; a crime story with fantastic elements – exactly the kind of books she liked. _

_Suddenly her doorbell rang. Who could that be? She hadn't invited anyone. It could be her neighbour – the woman living next door to her sometimes came over to bring Lily a cake or some cookies. She knew her from Lily's childhood and had more than once taken care of her._

_Lily opened the door. Outside stood a young man with blond hair and green eyes. He looked really young, but old at the same time. „Can I help you, sir?", Lily asked. The man was struggling with words. „Lily", he finally managed to say._

_She stared at him in shock. How did he know her name? „Don't you remember me, Lily?" She thought for a moment, but then shook her head. What did he want from her? And where did he come from? He didn't live here; she would've seen him. „It's me, Jack!"_

_Lily swallowed and took a closer look at the man. „Jack?", she asked, „Can that really be?" He smiled. „Yes, it's me! It is so great to see you again." Lily didn't say anything. She just stared at him. Finally she asked: „Do you want to come in? I still have some dinner left, if you're hungry." He nodded, looking relieved._

_Together, they entered the house, and Lily led him to the living room. „Do you want me to warm up dinner for you?", she asked. „Yes, please", he answered and sat down._

_Lily went into the kitchen and put the rest of her meal into the microwave. Then she drank a little bit of her favourite whiskey, to warm up and to realize what had just happened. Jack sat in her living room. Jack, Jack Whitsun, her childhood sweetheart. The boy she had never stopped to love. He'd been her ideal of a boyfriend and husband, and maybe that was why she had never found anyone – because Jack had been perfect, and there was only one Jack in the whole world. She had hoped that he'd still live in her old home town, but that wasn't the case. _

_She calmed herself down and brought the food to Jack. He looked so happy when he saw the meal, just as if it had been long ago that he had eaten anything. „Thanks, Lily. You're really kind to me." She smiled. „You're welcome. Would you like to watch a movie with me?" He nodded, looking really glad. _

_Lily turned the TV louder. The movie about a vampire hunter was still running, and she didn't really like spooky movies, but Jack seemed to like it and she didn't want him to leave. _

_When the movie was over, she wanted to turn off the TV, but Jack just said: „Don't, okay? The next one's really good." And so the TV stayed on. _

_Lily didn't think that the next movie was good. It was some ghostly Romeo and Juliet story, with Juliet coming out of her grave to take him with her. But she put on a brave face because she wanted Jack to stay. After half an hour of watching the movie, she walked back into her kitchen to get some popcorn for the two of them, and Jack was stuffing as if he hadn't had dinner before._

_Suddenly the church bell was ringing through the muffled sounds of the movie, and Lily thought that it sounded louder than usual. Three times the bell rang. Three o'clock. _

„_Is it already that late?", she asked Jack in astonishment, but he was already rushing to the door. „Sorry, Lily", he said while putting on his jacket, „I have to go. I'm so sorry! Can I come back tomorrow?" Lily was confused, but nodded. How could she say no? He was still in her heart, and she didn't want him to leave it. _

_Jack hugged her and jumped into a car that was parked right in front of her house. It looked rather old and a little demolished, and she wondered that it could still race like that when Jack disappeared between the trees that stood along the highway._

_The next evening she had cleaned all her rooms and put on her favourite dress. Eagerly she waited behind the curtains of her hallway window for him to come._

_He didn't disappoint her. At nine o'clock, his car parked in front of her house. She hadn't heard it coming although it looked like it would make extremely loud noises._

_She opened the door and let him in. „I have made dinner", she said, and his eyes were beaming. „You're the best cook ever!", he said. „Thanks." They ate in silence, but then Jack said:„You're too nice, Lily", Jack began. She stared at him. He nodded. „I don't deserve that." Lily shrank back in horror. „Why would you say something like that?" A tear fell down his cheek. „I left you", he said quietly. Lily shook her head. „You didn't, Jack. I did. I moved away, remember? It was me who left you." He looked at her, still with tears in his eyes. „I've always loved you", he finally said. _

_Lily closed her eyes, feeling tears welling up._

_She jumped when something moved next to her. A second later, she could feel a strong arm holding her close to a muscular chest. _

_She opened her eyes again and looked directly into Jack's face. His eyes were wet, but he smiled. „I've always loved you", he repeated._

„_And I-" Lily was interrupted by the ringing of the church bell. One. Two. Three. _

_Jack jumped up and rushed to the door. „Oh God, Lily, I'm so sorry! Can you forgive me? I'll be back tomorrow night", he promised and kissed her on her cheek. Then he ran out of the house, jumped into his car and drove off. Lily just stood there, watching him, and tears were running down her cheeks._

_The next evening was Halloween. Lily had put a candle into the hollowed pumpkin, and there already had been some kids whom she had given candy. _

_She looked at her grandfather's clock that hung on her kitchen wall. It was nine o'clock. She looked outside her window, but there was no car parking in front of her house._

_Disappointed she turned round to go to her living room to have dinner, alone._

_Suddenly the doorbell rang, and Lily opened the door. _

_It was Jack. Weird, she thought, she hadn't heard a single noise. Maybe he hadn't come with a car. But when she looked, it was parked at exactly the same place as yesterday and the day before. _

„_Hey!", he said, looking happy. „Hey", Lily smiled. She was glad that he had come after all. „I brought you something", he said while handing her a bouquet of roses. „I've always wanted to give it to you. I know you're not a rose, but you're supposed to be the only lily in my life." Lily bit her lip. „Thank you, Jack. They're beautiful. Please, go to the living room." _

_Lily went into the kitchen with the flowers in her hand, when a sudden noise caught her attention. She looked around and saw that her grandfather's clock was ticking unnaturally loud. Lily stared at the clock, but then she decided that she was just a little jumpy today. After all, it was Halloween, and although she had stopped putting food outside for the dead, she still remembered her grandmother's stories. _

_With a vase in her hands she walked to the living room and put the flowers on the table. „You could have started already", she said when she saw that his plate was still empty. „I wanted to wait for you." Lily winked at him. „You have waited long enough, haven't you?" He nodded and they started to eat._

_After they had finished, he helped her wash up the dirty plates. For a long time, there was no other noise than the dishes clattering. „I want you with me, Lily", Jack said suddenly. Lily stopped washing and stared at him. „You want me with you?" He nodded. „And where is the problem?" He lowered his head. „It's difficult." Confused and a little bit irritated Lily laid the tear-towel aside. „Why? Why is it difficult? Are you married?" He shook his head. „No, that's not it." She sighed. „Then what is it?" Jack gulped down some air and then looked into her eyes. „It's just – I'm not good for you." _

_Before Lily could say anything, the church bell rang three times, and Jack jumped up, gave her a quick, but passionate kiss on the lips and rushed out of the door and into his car. Then he was gone. Lily was confused. He was not good for her, but he kissed her? And then, his lips had been ice-cold. Her lips were still cool. A little apathetic, she walked to her bed and covered herself in all the blankets she could find. But she still felt his cold lips when she fell asleep._

_Lily was really happy when her parents came the next morning. Together, they visited her grandparents' graves and laid down some flowers. Then she served them dinner, and they talked a lot about past times. „Why did we move?", Lily asked. She had left this town when she had been fifteen years old, leaving Jack behind, but never forgetting him. „Because I'd found a better job", her father explained, „And it was important for me to be able to pay your college tuition, so it was necessary." Lily shrugged. „I've always missed it. I loved this town. That's why I moved back." She chewed on her goose, then she said: „Guess who has visited me yesterday! Jack!" Her parents looked at each other. „Jack?", her dad asked, looking confused, „What Jack?" Lily rolled her eyes. „Jack Whitsun, my ex-boyfriend." Again, her parents exchanged looks, this time more serious. „What?", Lily demanded. „Sweetie", her mother said in a worrying tone, „Jack's dead."_

_Lily stared at her mom as if she'd gotten insane. „No? He came to visit me yesterday, the day before yesterday and the day before that. He definitely isn't dead." Her father shook his head. „No, honey. Jack died in a car accident on the highway fifteen years ago."_

_Lily was utterly bewildered. „Dead?", she managed to choke out, „But... but..." „He wanted to drive home. He had visited his mother, who used to live here. It was nine o'clock, and he just rushed by to grab something to eat and to watch his favourite movies. All horror movies, we found out when his room and apartment were searched. He left at three o'clock in the morning, and because he was a little drunk, he didn't see one of the trees that flanked the highway and so he crashed into one. He was dead immediately. Maybe you mixed him up with someone."_

_But Lily was sure that she didn't. There was no other possibility than that it was really him, so after she had brought her parents back to their hotel in a town twenty minutes from hers, she waited for Jack to arrive._

_She didn't have to wait long. At nine sharp, her doorbell rang. This time, she just led Jack into the living room, but instead of serving dinner, she sat down opposite to him. He looked confused. „What's the matter?", he asked. „Look, Jack, my parents visited today, and they told me that you – you are dead. Why do they believe that? Did you fake an accident?" _

_Jack sighed and stood up. „Lily, I told you I'm not good for you. I will only hurt you. Your clock is ticking. It was ticking the moment you let me in. Oh, oh, why did I come here?" „Jack!" Lily looked hurt. „How can you say something like that?" But Jack was crying now. „I need you, Lily! Can you forgive me for wanting you? Can you forgive me for doing this to you?" „But I- I don't know what you're talking about!", Lily shouted, and she felt a shiver going down her spine. „Lily", Jack breathed, „Whatever you do, do not follow me. Promise? Can you promise me not to follow me?" But Lily just cried and didn't really listen to what he was saying. He tried to calm her, he kissed and hugged her, and finally, she was quiet._

_A loud noise broke through the silence. It was the church bell, telling everyone it was three o'clock. Jack stood up and walked to the door. „Please, Lily, forgive me for doing this to you. I didn't mean to hurt you. Goodbye. I love you, always." _

_He walked out of the door and got into his car, driving away._

_Lily didn't wait long. She ran out of the door and jumped into her car, driving after Jack at full speed. „I'm not going to let you go again, Jack!", she said loudly, and turned to the highway. _

_There his car was, driving fast around the bending road. She just followed him._

_Suddenly she saw that his car lurched on the black road. Horrified she watched the car of her one true love crashing against a tree, exploding into thousand parts._

_Then the car was gone. Nothing remained there from the terrible accident she had just witnessed._

_Lily's heart stopped, and then her eyes widened. A tree was coming towards her – no, she was driving towards the tree! No! No! „No!", she screamed, trying to brake. But the brake wouldn't work. Lily continued driving towards the tree at full speed. „NO!" _

_There was a loud crash, and Lily was hurled out of the car. The last thing she saw before the lights went out was Jack's sad face. „I told you not to follow me", he said. Then everything went black._

_The car and her body were found the next morning. The police noted that fifteen years ago, a young man who – according to the parents - had been friends with the victim had crashed at exactly the same place._

_As they brought the crying parents away, they passed the tree Lily had crashed into. Lily's mother was close enough to see a heart that had been carved into the wood. It was covered in blood and oil, but she could still see the two letters that had been carved there: J+L._

Jake yawned and cleared his throat again. I jumped up, being frightened by the sudden noise that didn't belong there. Jacob grinned. „Did you like it?" I snorted. „Well, it was not exactly the kind of story I like... I mean, both of them die! Shouldn't have at least a child of them survived? Or one of them? Where did you get that one from, anyway?" He shrugged. „I sort of made it up myself." I stared at him. „What? You invented that one? So fast?" He shook his head. „I've been thinking about that one since last night." Against my will I was impressed. „And I got to hear it? For your first story, that was excellent! By the way, you have a beautiful voice for narrating." He smiled. „Thanks, Leah. But you're right about the story. It's not really finished yet. I promise you, I'm going to invent the perfect spooky love story. Wait for next Halloween."

I looked at him, and we both laughed. It felt relieving to laugh, somehow, and deep inside me, something wished that the night would never end. Of course, that part was being imprisoned immediately, but I now knew that it existed.

We grilled marshmallows and enjoyed the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. It was completely silent, only the fire cracked. An owl howled. „What a Halloween", Jacob muttered from above me. My head was lying on his lap, and multiple blankets kept me from getting cold. I felt great. „What?", I asked, looking at his chin. He smiled and looked down on me. „I just mean that this is the weirdest Halloween I have ever had." „Why? Because last time, you were still trick-or-treating with Quil and Embry?" He grinned. „Maybe..." He was silent for a while, and could just hear him breathing heavily. „No, really, Leah. I mean, I'm sitting on the beach with you, and for once, we're not fighting. But still you're like the meanest girl in the reservation – only to everyone else. And then I'm telling you a story that I have invented. I sometimes do that, you know, but I never ever tell them anyone. Too embarrassing. And last but not least, it is really a little creepy here." As if to underline his words, a wolf was howling, not far from us. Jacob ignored it and smiled at me, but I was still thinking about his words. „Am I really that horrible?" „Wish I could say no." I hit him, but I wasn't angry. After all, I knew he was right. I had decided to be the most annoying girl in La Push, because that felt better than to admit that I was hurt. I didn't know whether breaking up was intended to hurt so bad, but every time I thought about it the pain cut deeper and deeper. It had been my revenge – to leave behind the nice, happy girl and embrace my new image as Darth Leah, as I had called it before. Sam and Emily, they were on the light side of the Force, and that had left me with the dark side. At least we had cookies, I thought and smiled. „Why are you smiling?", Jake asked, caressing my hair. „We have cookies", I repeated my thought. He looked confused. „Are you okay? We have marshmallows, and they're not exactly related to cookies." I started laughing and explained him what I had been thinking. He laughed with me.

Suddenly his face came nearer to mine. I could see the flames in his beautiful brown eyes. They glowed in the light, making them look even more intense. „I like your eyes", he said, voicing what I had thought about his, and his face came nearer and nearer.

And then we jumped away from each other in shock as a huge, burly figure came running out of the woods, searching the beach for something – or someone. As soon as the figure saw us, it started to yell: „HELP! PLEASE, HELP! EMILY'S BEEN HURT! PLEASE!"

And I cursed Sam for the second time of my life.


	8. Sam The Hero

Sam The Hero

I jumped up and ran towards Sam. Jake was faster than I was, and I almost fell to the ground when I reached Sam. „What happened?", Jacob demanded, and I could see the pain in Sam's eyes. He stood there with just his pants on, but he didn't care. He didn't answer Jake's question, he just looked at us with pleading eyes. „Does one of you have a cell phone? I need to call the ambulance!" I was in such a hurry to get my cell out of my pocket that I almost broke my finger. As I handed Sam the cell, I saw that his hands were all bloody and that there was blood on his chest, too.

He typed in the emergency call and turned away from us. I could hear him talking, but he was too fast and too far away for me to understand him. After a few minutes he came back. „Can I keep the cell for a while, Lee-Lee?" I nodded, too shocked to notice that he had used my old nickname again. It was only later that I realized he had said it again – a sure sign that he was stressed.

His breath normalised, but then I could hear another howl of a wolf, and Sam looked so scared that it frightened me. „Please, can you two run home and tell Billy and Harry that Emily has been hurt by a – by a bear?" We nodded without thinking. Jacob took my hand and sprinted with me past our little camp towards my house.

I threw the door open and rushed into my parents' bedroom. „Dad!", I tried to say as quiet as possible, „Dad, wake up!" Slowly my dad opened his eyes. Seeing me, he was up immediately. „What happened?", he snapped. I'd forgotten that parents had an unmistakable instinct for trouble. „It's Emily", I said fast, knowing that Sam was counting on me, „She's been hurt by a bear."

On these words, my dad jumped out of the bed, pulled out a pullover and told me to tell Mom that he'd be back as soon as possible. He ran out of the bedroom, only to return seconds later. „Where?", he panted. „Sam was at the beach." Another howl broke through the silent night, and Dad hurried out of the room and left the house.

I could see him from the window running towards the beach, with his phone constantly at his ear, and for a second I thought about following him. Emily being hurt by a bear – that sounded almost impossible. There were bears in the woods around Forks and La Push, but still... One always taught us that bears didn't attack unless you had food with you or were irritating them, and I was sure that Emily was smart enough not to do anything of this sort. That were tourist mistakes. Not a single Indian brought up by the Makahs or the Quileute had been in a bear attack for the last twenty, thirty years.

But why would Sam lie? There was no reason for him to do so – except if it had been him who'd hurt her. But he loved Emily, and that apparently much more than he had loved me, and I knew that he would have never ever hurt me. Besides, if it had been him to hurt her, where was all the blood coming from? Nobody was stupid enough to leave their hands dirty if they were guilty.

So the bear attack had happened. But why?

I was walking up and down the living room when I heard the siren of the ambulance. I stormed to the window, but all I could see in the grey light of the early morning were dark figures carrying a stretcher to Sam's house. So they had brought Emily back home – after all, the attack had happened in the woods. Which mystified me even more, because what was Emily doing in the woods at night? Not far from the ambulance, I could see Jacob.

I ran out of the house towards him. „Jake!", I shouted, and he turned round to see me. I almost flew into his arms, again almost tripping over my own feet, and he had to stop me. „That's going to be a running gag", he said grimly, but he smiled. „What are you doing here?", I asked. Jake nodded towards a figure in a wheelchair next to Dad. Right. I'd totally forgotten that Billy needed someone to push him.

Jake put his arm through mine, and together we watched the ambulance drive off with the siren on again. „Did you see her?", I asked. „Yep. Her face was bleeding, so I guess the bear hit her with its claws." I shivered. That was definitely on my Top 10 List Of Things I Didn't Want To Experience. „Poor Emily", I said, and before I could stop it, I started to cry.

Jacob patted my back, apparently a little startled by my reaction. „Wow, Leah", he said quietly, „So you actually have a heart!" I was crying too hard to hit him for that comment, but I wasn't going to forget it. What was he thinking? Emily had always been like a sister to me. I had done everything with her, and I had always imagined how our future as adults would be. How could I have foreseen that things would change so drastically? And although it was her fault that Sam had left me, I loved her still. You could fight with a sister, but you could never stop loving her.

After I had cried five minutes or so, Jake handed me a handkerchief and hugged me close. „It's going to be all right", he whispered, „It's going to be all right, Leah. It was just a lot of blood, but she isn't going to die. Sam found her right on time. Stop crying, honey." I didn't know whether I should believe him or not, but I decided that crying wouldn't help Emily. „What happened?", I asked, „Did anyone tell you?" Jake shook his head. „No, but I was listening when Sam talked to the first-aid attendant." He gave me his crooked smile, and I wiped away the remaining tears. „So...?" „Well, she was trying to find some flowers for a medicine – you know that she mixes a lot by herself – and I don't know anything about flowers, but apparently this one only blooms at night, so she was looking for them. And then she crossed the path of a bear, it felt irritated and probably was frightened, so it defended itself. After Emily had gone down, the bear walked away. Maybe because it felt safe enough, or because it heard Sam, who apparently had made loud noises in order to scare it away. Then he carried her to the beach because he had seen our fire and shouted for help. End of story." I looked at him, horrified. „A bear... Oh god, Jake!" And I started crying again, drenching his shirt. He sighed, but it sounded more worried than annoyed. „It's okay, Leah", he repeated, „She's going to be fine. Sam is with her. He's taking care of her. You know how good he's at taking care." I cried more. Couldn't he understand what was going on with me? Of course I was worrying about Emily – but that wasn't the only reason why I cried. I was feeling miserable for the way I had treated Sam and Emily. And I was feeling miserable for feeling miserable for that! I had tried to hate Emily for stealing my Sam – which she didn't do, anyway – and I had tried even harder to hate Sam, which didn't work at all, because I still was utterly, completely, deeply in love with him. And here was just another proof that he was the perfect man. He had been there to save Emily, and now he was coming with her to the hospital. He probably would have killed the bear if he had had a gun. Sam, the hero.

The truth was, I was jealous. And I cried because it was just sick to be jealous in such a situation.

**Up next: Leah's birthday!**

** At hilja and Obsethed1: I'm not sure whether I will be able to answer the question of why Sam lost control, since I'm writing from Leah's point of you. I'll try to do so when they have all transformed, so Leah can read what he thinks when they're in wolf form. If I don't know how to describe it, I'll tell you in an author's note. Either way, I noted down that this will have to be clarified, and I promise you that I'll tell you... some day ;-) **


	9. Happy Birthday To Me

**Before I write anything else: I do not own Twilight.**

**Yeah, we know that by now.**

**It's Christmas, so I have decided to give you a little present: Chapter 9, which is about Leah's 18****th**** birthday. I hope you like it! **

**I wish you all a merry Christmas! Don't eat too much! I hope you all get loads of presents and that you can spend the holidays with those you love. **

Happy Birthday to Me

As much as I worried about Emily, I was still looking forward to my eighteenth birthday. I had been born in a cold November night, „at full moon", Mom always told me (and others who didn't want to hear it but didn't have a choice), and I had heard that some people actually thought that my bad temper was due to the fact that my sign was Scorpio.

My birthday was on November 12, just two weeks from Halloween. So while I was planning my birthday party (there wasn't much to plan – I still hadn't many friends, and I hadn't made peace with either Kayla or Jess, who apparently had taken Kayla's side. Some friends I had!), I also visited Emily in the hospital. She didn't say much about the attack, but who could have taken that amiss? It still hurt seeing her, though, and she felt that we could never be the same, too. But she was okay with that – always happy when I came over, calling me her „only girlfriend" - because Kim was too girly for Emily's taste. Sure thing, Kim and Jared were just as much in love as Sam and Emily were, but that seemed to get on Emily's nerves.

Four days before my birthday, she could leave the hospital. Her face was scarred, though, and I noticed that she was embarrassed having these scars. I felt bad for her, really. I _did_ have a heart. It was just difficult showing that.

I had already asked Jake to come over on my birthday. I told him that he could take Quil with him, his best friend, but not Embry, his other best friend. Embry could never shut up, he always had to say something, especially if it involved a bet or money. I was sitting at their table during lunch now, and while they had get used to me being with them, I had tried not to say anything mean about their behaviour. Particularly Embry again. He lost his lunch due to a bet every two days, or at least it seemed so. He didn't mind, but it was just feeling stupid watching him.

My family would be there, of course, and then I had asked Emily to come over if she wanted to. I knew she'd bring Sam with her, but I tried not to think about it. I was great at suffering in silence, and maybe it was better to be nice to them for a while. I didn't have to be a malicious harpy all the time, although it was much better to act like one. Lesser people to ask stupid questions.

All in all, it was going to be a really small birthday, and I wasn't really sure whether I liked that or not.

It was midnight, and I was still awake, staring at my watch and waiting for it to turn twelve o'clock. I wanted to be eighteen now!

Finally, the date on my cell phone switched from the eleventh of November to the twelfth, and almost immediately I got a message. JACOB BLACK, the display said, and I sighed. What an annoying, sweet kid.

hey leah, happy, happy, happy, happy eighteenth birthday! i wish you all the best for the next year and i hope you're going to feel way better! ly jake

Smilingly I went to bed. How cute of him, to write me. He had been the first to congratulate me, and for some reason that made me really happy.

The next morning, I woke up early. I had dreamt a strange dream, about really big wolves and my dad, but I'd already forgotten the details.

I had almost fallen asleep again when the door to my room was opened and my family entered. „Happy Birthday to you!", they sang, and I opened my eyes. Mom was the closest – she carried a cake that looked big enough to feed all inhabitants of La Push. She gave me a kiss. „Happy eighteenth birthday, sweetheart." Then Seth gave me a hug and handed me a small present. Dad hugged me the closest. „Wish you all the best for the upcoming year", he whispered, then saying loudly: „I can't believe my daughter is an adult now." Mom threw me out of my bed. „Come on, Leah, get up. You have to open your presents."

For some reason, I wasn't really excited. Usually I liked birthdays – when you were in the spotlight and everyone remembered that you actually existed – but this year, it felt a little awkward. I wanted to be eighteen. What I didn't want was a party. Because that meant that people were going to ask how I felt, what I planned to do after high school and what my love life was doing (Answer: It was walking past me, waving a friendly farewell).

I got up and put on a dressing gown, then I followed my family down to the living room.

Candles were burning, and there was a small pile of presents on the table. „Mine first", Seth said happily, grinning at me. My brother really was the most lovable person I'd ever met. Even if I always thought of different ways of killing him, I loved him, and he was one of the reasons why I hadn't become a runaway. He needed me... and I needed him. I looked at the little present in my hands and shook it. Then I opened it.

It was a pretty bracelet, matching my necklace. It was also silver, with a wolf pendant and a half-moon and a little engraving. It said 'To Leah, I love you'. I smiled at my brother. I'd never thought he'd actually give me something like that, something that would forever tell me that he loved me. Something that would remind me that he loved me even when we were fighting again. That was so cute! „Way to go, Seth", I grinned and gave him a big hug. Then I kissed his cheek. Seth winced. „Don't exaggerate, big sis. I might take the bracelet back." He winked, and I smiled, a little menacing. „You wouldn't dare." He shrugged, but still grinned.

Mom was bringing me my cup of tea, and then I started opening the other presents. The first was a DVD of one of my favorite romantic comedies (I didn't even know why I was still watching them – they usually had a happy ending, something I hadn't experienced yet, and they were about love. But I just loved to cry sometimes, and I didn't want to cry for the real reasons). In the second packet was a photo album, which I didn't dare to open now, afraid of finding any pictures of Sam and me in there. „There's still enough space for loads of other pictures", Dad said and smiled. I convinced myself of opening the first page. It was a photo of our family that we had made last year. I was sitting next to Seth, our parents next to us, and we all were smiling happily into the camera. I even had put an arm around my little brother.

The third present contained a burnt CD with several of my favorite songs. I could use that one for my car. Apparently Seth had helped Dad doing that.

While we were eating cake, I unwrapped the rest of the presents. My dad was happy with his slice of cake, although Mom told him not to eat to much because of his cholesterol.

The fourth present was a beautiful pen. It was deep blue with an inlaid golden floral motive. It was the prettiest pen I'd ever seen. „Thanks!", I said, admiring how the pen reflected the light. Mom smiled. „We know you like to write, honey." „Although she never tells us what she writes", my brother muttered. I grinned at him. „Oh, I mostly write fiction", I said, „You know, 'How to kill my little annoying brother'. Things like that." He grimaced at me. „Funny."

The fifth present was also the last, and it was a new cell phone. I didn't want to know how much money my parents had spent on my birthday. I'd only feel guilty. „Thank you so much!", I said, grinning happily. This was a good start of the day. Dad bowed towards me. „It's not only a cell... you know, it has a camera, and you can listen to music with it, and it even has a cheat call function." I raised an eyebrow. „A what?" „A cheat call function. You can press a button here", he showed me a little button on the left side of my new cell, „and then your cell rings as if someone wants to talk to you. You can even record something that is played when you answer the call. Perfect for a disaster date." He winked at me, and I had to laugh. A cheat call function! I wondered whether I would ever have to use it. My dad really was a funny person.

I got ready and drove with Seth to school. „Thanks again", I said. He looked at me. „For what?" I rolled my eyes. „The bracelet, you idiot. I really, really like it. It's so cute of you. I never would have thought you might think of something like that." His grin was wide. „I love surprises!" He paused. Then he said: „Do you think anyone will remember at school?" I shook my head. „Who would care about Leah Clearwater's birthday? I'm not friends with Kayla and Jess anymore, in case you didn't notice." He shrugged. „I'm still Middle School, remember? I don't know anything what you juniors do or don't do."

We got out of the car, and for once, Seth wasn't running to his friends, of which he had many. He was the exact opposite of me: Funny, warm, friendly. Therefore there were lots of people who wanted to be friends with Seth.

I had been like that before Sam broke up with me. But something had gone away, together with him. I still hadn't figured out what that 'something' was, and my guess was that even if I would eventually find out what part of me was missing, it wouldn't come back. Just like Sam.

I didn't make myself any false promises. I knew that he'd never come back to me. Just like I knew that I loved him.

Horrible thoughts for a birthday. But I couldn't not think about it. Last year, everything had been just great. Exactly one year ago, Sam had given me the notebook. One year ago, we had kissed like he was kissing Emily now.

Well, not exactly like that, I had to admit. There was much more love between him and her.

I felt tears welling up again, and so I was glad when I saw Jacob coming towards us. Seth was thrilled, of course. He really liked the friendship between me and Jake, because it meant that he was able to see him a lot more often. Like I said, he idolized Jacob.

„Happy eighteenth birthday!", Jake almost shouted and gave me a big hug. I was a little surprised by how strong he was. I mean, he was muscular and all that, but still he didn't look _so_ strong.

Suddenly he lifted me up and spun me around,and when I stood back on safe grounds, he kissed my cheek.

„Whoah, Jake!", I said, raising my hands up, but I had to laugh. „What?", he demanded, „Can't I give a friend a kiss?" I rubbed my cheek where his lips had touched my skin, trying not to turn red. „Sure you can", I said, looking warily around whether there was anyone who had seen this. But the students who were already there ignored me and the two boys, just like they always ignored me.

Jake grabbed my hand and pulled me into the building. „I don't have your present with me", he said, „I wanted to give it to you later." I sighed. „You don't have to give me anything." He snorted. „Sure. It's my best girlfriend's birthday, but I don't see why I should give her anything." He said something else, but I didn't care. Hadn't he just said „best girlfriend"? My eyes brightened up, and a huge smile spread across my face. I pressed Jacob's hand. „You're the best", I said, and he gave me a wide smile.

Unfortunately, we had to go separate ways now. His locker was on the other side of the building, and class was about to start. „See you later, Leah!", he smiled, „I'll try to get us a table!" Then he was gone.

My mood darkened a little after he was gone. Jake was a shining sun, making my life bright and happy. Whenever he was gone and I was left alone with all those people who didn't like me, I felt like a planet within a swarm of dangerous asteroids. I needed him to remind me that there was another person beneath the angry harpy that I had become. With him, I was the old Leah.

I opened my locker and pulled out my history book when I saw Jared and Kim walking towards me. Jared stopped right behind me. „Hey, Leah." I looked up. „Yes?" He took my hand and shook it. „Happy birthday." He smiled at me. I looked a little confused. „Thanks", I said, and then Kim hugged me. „Happy b-day, Leah!", she said, also smiling, „What did you get?" I was mystified. Since when was Kim interested in me? But I thought it would be counterproductive to snap now, so I decided to answer: „Oh, just a DVD, a bracelet, a pen, a CD and a new cell phone. And a photo album." „Nice!", Kim said. „Okay", Jared said, „We have to go. See you later." They were about to go when I made some sort of snap decision. „Kim? Jared?" They turned round to face me again. „I'm having a birthday party tonight. Well, not exactly a party, but some people will be at my house to eat cake and stuff like that. Would you like to come? Emily will be there, too." I didn't say „Sam", but I was sure that Jared knew that.

Jared and Kim looked at each other. Kim shrugged and smiled then. „Sure! Thanks!" I nodded. „Cool. Six o'clock, my house." Jared smiled, and then they went round the corner to their class.

I walked to history. Mr Cauldwell gave me a cookie and wished me a happy birthday, too. Nice that teachers remembered things like that. Although I didn't like the cookie. It looked a little old.

I sat down next to Kayla, but she just smiled a little at me and then turned to Mr Cauldwell. I sighed silently. I had known that my former friends weren't going to congratulate me. And still it hurt a little. Thinking about friends, I knew that I hadn't many. To be true, there was only Jake.

That wasn't exactly the case, of course. With Jake, there had come Quil, and although he was a little scared to sit with me at a table during lunch, I knew that secretly he enjoyed it. Not only because mostly I was kind of nice, but also because he liked older girls a lot. Then there was Embry, who wasn't as thrilled as Quil, but who had accepted me as a constant part in their table group. I was nice to him, too. Sometimes, that was. Mostly I reminded him of his lost bets and told him how stupid and immature the bets were. He didn't really care, though, and I suspected that he thought it was funny to be mocked that way. Embry was a strange person.

Three people.

Then there was Emily, whom I wouldn't label as 'friend' anymore, but she was my cousin, and I had always loved her. I couldn't forgive her for taking away my Sam, but I couldn't deny that we always had had fun together. Maybe some day we could return to normal.

Four people.

And that was it. Kim and Jared weren't friends, but they seemed nicer then the rest of my classmates, and maybe it was good to have some allies. 'Allies' was a good word. It didn't really have the same meaning as 'friends', and it was easier to break an alliance than a friendship, but it meant that one didn't fight too much.

The lessons were extremely boring today. It took way too long for lunch to begin.

When finally the bell rang, I jumped up and stormed to the cafeteria. I knew Jake would sit there already, because his English teacher always finished early.

And right, he was already occupying a table for six in the corner of the cafeteria. He waved at me, and I walked over to him. I sat down, and he handed me today's lunch. „I bought it for you", he said, „I mean, it's your birthday, so I've invited you." He grinned at me, and I sighed. No arguing with a man who's made up his mind.

Five minutes later Embry gave me a little stiff hug. Like I said – he wasn't thrilled that I sat with them.

A few seconds later Quil came, giving me a hug almost as big as Jacob's and handed me a cupcake with a candle. „Happy Birthday, Leah!", he said happily and sat down next to me. How nice, I thought. He had given me a cupcake. I looked around whether anyone else had his or her birthday today where he could have stolen the cake, but that wasn't the case. I had to accept that he had at least bought one.

We sat there, eating in silence for a while, then Embry stood up and cleared his throat loud enough for all students to hear him. Our classes weren't big, and the middle school students didn't have lunch with us (that was why my little brother didn't sit at our table), so the cafeteria wasn't so big either. We were about thirteen students per class, only from the Quileute reservation, so it was easy for Embry to make everyone listen.

Loudly he said: „It's Leah Clearwater's birthday. She's eighteen today! So everyone get up and sing with me!"

And very loudly, 52 voices as one, they sang.

„Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Leah, happy birthday to you!"

I turned bright red and hid my face behind my bag, and then it was over, fortunately. The thing that was the worst was that I knew that most of them didn't like me, and the rest didn't know me.

Everyone sat down, just some people of the sophomore class shouted „All the best, Leah!". It didn't sound too nice. I looked at them – it were Paul's friends. What a surprise.

I glared at Embry, who grinned. „Sorry, Leah." He shrugged and turned to Quil. „Twenty bucks, pal." I growled. „This was a bet?" Embry nodded and prepared for my strike. But I just leaned back. „Good. I thought you were trying to be nice."

Embry was confused, but I smiled to myself as I continued to eat. What a stupid birthday.

After school, I drove Seth home and then I drove to Jake's house. Jake, who was sitting next to me, had insisted on that. He got out of the car and told me to wait. Then he came back, with a huge smile on his face, and said I should follow him.

I walked behind him around the house towards the little garage where Jake was building cars. Billy's Chevy stood next to it. „Still no buyer?", I asked, and Jake nodded. „It really annoys me. Dad won't let me finish my Volkswagen until someone has bought this lame truck." „Lame?", I asked. He nodded. „Never, ever try to go over sixty." He grinned and took my hand again.

When I entered the garage, I forgot to breathe for a second. It wasn't cleaned up or anything, and Jake's favorite car was still raised on cinder bars, but he had put a few candles on top of the car and around the garage. On the ground was a blanket, and on the blanket stood a cake with my name and the number 18 on it. It was just a small cake, with white icing and red flowers and green leaves made of sugar. The numbers and letters were red, too. Two plates stood there and two cans of soda. Next to the cake was a present.

„Happy birthday", Jake said, grinning widely. I stared at him. „Jacob", I managed to choke out, trying not to cry, „What did I do to deserve this?" He shrugged. „Let me think: You're nice to me. You went with me to the movies. You helped me with my car. You showed me your notebook. You tell me how you feel. You're four years older than I am, and you talk to me like an equal. Embry and Quil are my best friends, but you're my best friend, too. And as my best friend, I think you deserve this. You like it?" I nodded, my face being bright red.

„Sit down and stop standing there like you've been struck by lighning", he said, being a little uncomfortable with my lack of reaction. I sat down, looking at the cake and the candles and then at Jake. „You're the most stupid, annoying, lovable person besides my brother I know", I finally said. Jacob grinned. „Good. I guess you can stay a while?" I nodded. My dad was fishing, and my mom was working and wouldn't return until five o'clock.

Jake cut the cake and gave me a slice. „I haven't baked it", he admitted, „Because then it would be inedible. So I bought it. I hope you don't care?" I nodded. „It's pretty", I took a bite, „and it's tasty. Thank you so much." We ate silently for a while, then he asked: „Why do you do that? Talking to me like I'm as old as you are? Four years is quite a difference." I shrugged. „First of all, it's only three years and some months, since your birthday is in January, and second, you don't behave like fourteen. I think psychically you're about as old as I am. At least." I winked at him, and he grinned. „Eighteen... I like that. Nice one. So maybe I should ask out one of the senior girls." I raised an eyebrow. „Sure, be like Quil. I won't help you if you get beaten by the big guys." He winked. „As if I needed your help."

We opened our cans and drank to me. Then he tossed me the present. „I hope you like it", he said, suddenly looking a little unsure.

I opened it carefully and fell silent again.

It was a notebook. The cover was made of velvet, red, yellow, purple, blue. It was really colorful, but not in a childish way. It seemed to be the cover interpretation of 'happy'. The pages were thick and creamy white, the kind of paper that made ink shine.

I didn't know what to say. The book was beautiful, but it reminded me too much of Sam's present last year. By the look of Jake's face, he knew that.

He cleared his throat. „I know you got a notebook for your last birthday, and that the promise that was given with it was broken. But I'm not Sam, and this is not a promise. It is just that I know the other one is completed, and I thought you need a new one. One that makes you happy whenever you open it. One where you can write down all the happy events that will happen this year. Of course you can write down all the bad stuff, too, but I want this year to be happier for you." He paused. „Did it come out right? It sounded less stupid when I was practising this." I stared at him, and – I couldn't help myself – a wide smile spread across my face. „It came out exactly right, Jake. And today is going to be the first entry. Thank you so much! Where did you find that?" He shrugged and smiled conspiratorially. „I won't tell you. Now open it."

I opened it, and on the first page there was a picture of Jacob and me Seth had taken some time ago. I didn't recognize the smile I was wearing on it. I was looking so _happy_. The way I had been looking when Sam had been my boyfriend still. And Jake – his smile was even bigger than mine was. His arm was around my shoulder, and he grinned like he had won the lottery.

„We're really friends", I whispered, suddenly realizing that. Jacob hit my shoulder. „Stop acting weird, Leah. This is freaking me out." But he grinned, and I knew he didn't mean it.

Something was shining through the page, something scribbled in black ink. I turned the page with the photo and saw what Jake had written.

_Happy Birthday, Leah! I hope this book will be filled with millions of happy events and feelings. And if not, I'm always there for you. You're my best friend._

_I love you_

_Jake_

I sighed. „You are way to nice, Jacob. That's going to end badly." He smiled. „Is that a threat, Leah Clearwater?" I grinned. „It's a promise."

We finished the cake and then drove back to my house, with Billy in the backseat. There was still half an hour left until my party, but Jake had promised to help me, and Billy had been invited as well.

My mom was already home, making dinner for everyone. Dad was already there, and my brother had set the table. „I'm back!", I shouted, and Mom smiled at me. „Did you have a good day, honey?", she asked and said hi to Jacob and Billy.

Twenty minutes later, our bell rang. I opened the door, and Quil entered, together with Embry. Whom I had not invited. Still, another person to annoy, which actually was a good birthday present. I would have felt bad if I had had to pick on Quil or Jake. I didn't really care about Embry. Especially after today's lunch...

They started talking to Jake, and I served them cake and something to drink. I was about to sit with them when the bell rang again.

This time it were Jared and Kim, followed by – gulp – Emily and Sam. Emily carried a blue birthday cake, while Sam was holding a present.

Emily's face looked horrible. Three long scars covered the right side of her face, still bright red. They continued on her arm, but that didn't look so bad. It was her face that was shocking. I still couldn't look at her without feeling the pain myself.

She hugged me. „Happy birthday, Leah!", she said, sounding really friendly. I knew she stll felt bad about taking away my Sam, and that she didn't know how to approach me.

Mom took the cake and led Emily, Jared and Kim to the living room, leaving me and Sam alone in the hallway.

How I hated to be left alone with him. I really, really hated that. The day in Emily's kitchen had been terrible, now, with Sam in my own house, it felt even worse.

He came closer, and I could smell him. I had always liked how he smelled. The scent of the salty ocean floated through the room, and I tried not to inhale it. Impossible. My heart started racing. Why could he still confuse me like this? It should have stopped by now, I should have stopped loving him. I could feel a big lump in my throat as he hugged me close. „I wish you all the best, Lee-Lee", he said, „Happy eighteenth birthday." I tried not to hold him too tight, but I didn't want him to let go of me. I wanted to stay like this forever, with his big warm arms wrapped around me, my black locks covering his hands. I wanted to conserve his scent, to keep it with me all the time. I could feel his warm breath against my skin, and I pressed my lips together so I wouldn't give in to the urge to touch his cheeks.

And then he let go of me, smiled and joined the others in the living room.

I knew it had been a bad idea to invite him. I knew it. It just confused me more than it helped.

I turned round.

Jake was facing me. He looked furious. A strange thought occurred to me. Had Sam let go of me because Jacob had looked at him that way?

Maybe I looked like I was about to cry, because Jacob came towards me and put his arms around me. I gulped and blinked the tears away. Jacob had once seen me crying, on that horrible Halloween just two weeks ago, and I didn't want him to see that again. I was a strong girl – young woman – I wouldn't cry. Not in front of Jacob. Not in front of anyone. Not even in my room. I would stop crying. Yes, I'd do that, I promised to myself.

I heard Jacob snorting. „If he ever does that to you again I'm going to send him straight to hell. He knows what you feel – he's playing with you." All that came out with a whisper, and I knew that partially, Jake was right.

He took my hand, and I breathed a deep breath. A wide – fake - smile spread across my face, and I went to join my birthday party.

It was nice, in the end. The boys ate way too much, the men did, too, and Mom, Kim, Emily and I were wondering how one could eat so much and how it fitted into their stomaches.

Kim and Jared had given me a DVD, too (another romantic comedy! Yay! Jesus. Weren't there any other movies?), and Sam's and Emily's present was a pretty white scarf and some necklaces made of wooden pearls. My favourites, by far. Of course I liked silver jewellery, but natural material just looked best with my skin.

Billy, Harry and Old Quil (Quil's granddad) had their own little party in front of the TV, watching some stupid game, so they didn't get on our nerves.

Finally, after all the food had been eaten, all visitors went back home. I wanted to drive Jake and Billy, but Sam had already offered to take them with him, and I didn't want to be too obvious about me wanting to spend some more minutes of my day with my best friend.

I sighed when I was in my room, alone. The notebook Jake had given to me lay open on my table, and I was tempted to write something down, although I didn't want to describe the whole day.

Finally, I uncapped my pen and wrote just a few words beneath Jacob's dedication.

_Love you too, Jake_


	10. All Eyes On The Cullens

All Eyes On The Cullens...ahem, the Hales

November flew past me like an extremely fast car. I was eighteen now, but, let's face it, being 21 would have been a lot cooler. I mean, if I was 21, I could drive to Port Angeles and go to a club. I could become an alcoholic and drown my sadness in drinks.

Oh well, I could do that now too, illegally, of course, but I didn't want to hurt my parents that way. Besides, I didn't even like alcohol.

Suddenly it was December, and it got really cold outside. But it didn't snow, and it didn't rain either, and so the sky just stayed dull gray. I was working at the _Lonesome Creek Store_ now every day after school (I had gotten the job shortly after my birthday), and I had gone to Forks several times, alone and with Jacob, mostly to bring Billy to Charlie, and most of these times Jake and I had gone to the supermarket to get doughnuts.

At one or two of these occasions, we had seen the Cullens. Not all of them, just the children or the doctor. Jake and I had followed them through the supermarket – because even if we hated them, they were an interesting family. I had watched how arrogant the blond girl treated the people surrounding her (she didn't even greet a girl that supposedly was in her class), I had watched how the black haired girl danced around like she owned the place, I had watched the big burly one with the brown curls grinning at everyone, just as if he wanted them to attack him. Of course I had watched the smallest of the Cullen boys, the one with the bronze hair, walking around as well, looking gloomily at anyone who dared to look at him. And then there was the blond boy who dated the black haired girl, and he just looked weirder than all of them put together. He always looked like he was in pain, like someone had stabbed his back or something. „And they smell strange", Jacob whispered on one of these occasions. I nodded. They really smelled strange. It was a sweet scent that would probably have been pleasant, but it was way too strong for that. It was like a really sweet perfume that burnt the nose. And my nose really hurt.

I didn't like their looks as well. They were extremely pale, even paler than the usual pale-faces that came to our reservation, and they had dark rings beneath their eyes, like they hadn't slept for a couple of days. Usually their eyes were golden in many shades, but one day I saw them, all having black eyes. They looked more aggressive on that day, too.

Okay, they were beautiful. The blond girl looked like a Disney princess – I caught myself looking for the pink crown – and even the small girl looked like a freaking super model. The big one looked good, too, but I couldn't stand either the blond boy nor the other boy. The first one would be good-looking, but for some reason, my senses were telling me he was dangerous. And the other one, the one that looked more like a boy than a man – well, I felt a little sorry for him, because he seemed so alone with all his dating siblings. He was good-looking as well, but he was too much self-absorbed, and didn't care about anything that happened around him.

And still I didn't like the way they looked.

I didn't know their names at all. As I had pointed out before, we at the reservation only knew the name of their father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was a big blond man on whom all the nurses had a big crush, and he was supposed to be around thirty, which I simply didn't believe. He was nice, though – I had gone to the hospital with my stupid little brother who had broken his arm during gym (I was mystified. How did he do that? We didn't do any dangerous sports in gym class), and he had been really friendly. But he smelled just as strange as the rest of the Cullens. Did they take the same perfume? But why would anyone take the same perfume as their father?

The Cullens were a strange family.

And then everyone at home hated them. I did, too.

It was a Saturday, just two weeks before Christmas, and I had gone to Seattle to do some Christmas shopping. I hadn't taken Jacob with me, because of course I was looking for something special for my best friend. Sure, I could have gone to Port Angeles, but there weren't so many shops there, and I wanted to find something truly special.

I also wanted to find some new clothes for the winter and early spring, and I just had gotten my money from Logan, so I was looking forward to spending it.

In Seattle, I needed ages to find a parking lot. And I had thought driving early would help! Well, apparently, I had been mistaken. First of all, I needed way too long to the city. It was already noon when I arrived.

I finally found a parking lot and went to find some cool stores.

First I went to _American Eagle_ and bought me a blouse with a checked pattern in black, grey and green and some skinny jeans. They looked really good together, and I went on to _Charlotte Russe_, my favorite store by far. There I found a warm pullover as well as a black parka, which I really needed. The only jacket I had was my black leather one, and it had become too cold for that.

I watched my salary flowing away, and I still hadn't gotten anything for my family or Jake. I would buy a fishing pole for my dad, of that I was sure. My mom would get a book, a thriller or crime story, something like that. I wasn't sure about my brother, though. I really didn't know what to get him. Maybe I would find something while buying the presents for the rest.

The fishing pole was sold at some sports' store whose name I forgot as soon as I had passed the sign. I went on to _Barnes' and Noble's_, a huge book store that also sold DVDs and CDs as well as comics.

I soon found a promising book on the „Thriller"-shelves, something written by a French author. It sounded really interesting, and Mom loved books like that. That didn't really help me with my brother's present.

I wanted to find something to show him how much _I _loved _him_. I couldn't give him a bracelet, though, that would look really strange. But when I passed a jewellery store, an idea hit me. I could buy him a watch!

Happy that I still had enough money (the clothes I had bought at _American Eagle_ had been on sale), I entered the store and looked around.

I recognized the sweet stink immediately. One of the Cullens must have been here. I sniffed again and tried to find out which one of them had entered the store to buy something.

Trying to ignore the scent I walked to the watches, checking the prices. It wasn't too expensive, and I bet that Seth had spent an equal amount of money on my birthday present.

„Hello", a deep melodic voice said behind me, „Do we know each other?" I turned round, frowning. It was the blond Cullen boy. He had bright golden eyes today, but I couldn't help remember those black eyes I had seen a week ago. Today, he looked much nicer. „You're the Cullen br-" I wanted to say 'brat', but I thought that I ought to be nice first and mean later, after I had gotten to know him. It didn't help snapping at people whom I didn't know. And since he didn't know any of the people at the rez, I didn't have to fear losing my reputation as a 'compassionless shrew', as Paul had called me a few weeks ago, earning an evil glare from Jake.

„You're the Cullen boy", I said instead, although it didn't sound much nicer. He nodded. „You are from the reservation, am I right?" His voice was trembling, as if he had to concentrate really hard. But then he took a deep breath and inhaled some air, and suddenly he relaxed a little, although he looked like something smelled bad, too. „Yes", I answered carefully, studying his face. He looked cautious, as if he expected any danger. Well, I was dangerous (at least my words), but probably not to him. He looked like he could take me down within a second. And for some reason, he freaked me out. Not like Jake did more than often enough. This guy freaked me out in a dangerous way. I felt like I should be running instead of standing calmly in front of him.

But, stupid as I was, I ignored my instincts.

„Do you mind helping me?", he asked, „I have a little problem." Unsure of what to think about that, I followed him to the necklaces. They looked all really expensive. I guessed he wanted to buy his little girlfriend one, and she was more than the right person to wear a necklace like those behind the glass, with all her designer clothes. „This one and this one", he showed me two, „are really lovely. But could you pick the most charming one?" I stared at him. „Did you seriously just ask me to pick the Christmas present for your little girlfriend? How am I supposed to know what she likes? Besides, shouldn't you have gone to Tiffany's or something like that?" He shrugged. „I believe it is too late for that. And you are a woman. So you ought to know what women like." I raised an eyebrow. He was weirder than he had looked at the supermarket in Forks. And then he did something really strange.

He looked at me with pleading eyes and a faint smile that probably was supposed to dazzle me. And then I suddenly felt so calm and happy, which simply wasn't my mood at all.

I snorted loudly, and the tension broke. He looked a little confused. That was when I decided to take a look at the necklaces, trying to remember the elfish girl this Cullen guy dated.

One necklace was made of silver, with a white precious stone, probably moon stone or something like this. The other one was made of a dark blue or black band with a similar pendant, just with a bigger stone. „I'd take that one", I said, pointing at the one with the blue band. „Are you sure?", he asked, surprised that I had done what he had asked for. I sighed. „Yes, I am completely sure. Are we done?" He nodded, took the necklace and went to buy it.

I returned to the watches, my eyes resting on a pretty silver watch with a brown leather band. I decided to buy it and took it to the cash desk.

The blond guy was still standing there, because the shopkeeper was packing the necklace into a box. „And just for the records", Cullen suddenly said to me, „My name is Hale, not Cullen. Jasper Hale." Okay. Then it was _Hale_. „Who cares?", I groaned, still feeling a little uncomfortable next to him. He smiled. It looked rather patronizing „I do." I hated smiles like that. I hated comments like that. I hated the Cullens. And the Hales, if he wanted me to be correct. „I didn't get your name", he said politely. I snorted. „That's because I didn't say it." Unfortunately he didn't seem to get that I didn't want to talk to him, because he just answered: „So what _is_ your name?" Jesus! He was more annoying than I had imagined him. More annoying than anyone I knew. „It's Leah Clearwater." „Nice to meet you, Leah." He smiled very friendly, which pissed me off. „And what are you doing in Seattle?" Ugh. Small talk. Why did he feel he had to talk to me? „Ahem", I cleared my throat and waved with a watch. „Christmas shopping!" How dumb can one be? It was two weeks before Christmas! Hello? Like I was buying presents for Easter holiday.

He nodded. „And did you get everything you wanted?" I sighed silently. He was pain in the ass, no questions about that. „Almost", I growled. He laughed, but it sounded a little artificial. „Calm down, I am just trying to have a conversation here", he grinned, but his grin made me growl even louder. It looked dangerous.

His grin faded, just as if he had felt that I didn't really like him. „What else do you need, if I am allowed to ask?" I rolled my eyes at him. „A present for my best friend."

We had already left the shop, and I should have been happy about the watch for Seth, but I was concentrating on the Cullen- sorry, the Hale boy. I felt like I had to be extremely careful when talking with him. „Who is your best friend?", he asked politely. „As if you would care", I snapped, extremely pissed that my afternoon alone had been destroyed. „But I do care", Hale – okay, _Jasper_ said, and he looked like he meant it. And I couldn't help but answer.

„It's a boy of my tribe. But I don't know what to get him." „Have you known him for long?" I shrugged. „Sort of." „And you want it to be something special?" I nodded. He thought for a moment. „Why don't you give him something personal?" I raised an eyebrow. „What do you mean?" Jasper looked at me like my question had been really stupid. „Well, if you like to draw or paint, paint him a picture. If you like singing, record a song. If you like writing, write him something." He smiled. I thought for a moment. Then I smiled back. „You know, for a Cullen – sorry, Hale – that was actually quite smart." He bowed a little. „Happy to be of your service, Ma'am." I stared at him. „Okaaaaaay... Weird comment. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear it. Thank you, though." I waved a short good-bye and walked through the beginning rain to my car.

I wasn't far from my car when I smelled him again. I turned round and saw him following me. He didn't seem to have noticed that I had seen him, and so I continued my way. But I was mystified. Was he following me on purpose? Or did we accidentally park in the same area?

I got into my car and drove home, constantly looking into my mirror where I could see a shiny black car not far behind me. What did he want from me? Did I steal anything without noticing? Did I do something to him? What a stupid, infuriating boy. _Jasper Hale_. Ugh. I felt an urge to puke.

I wasn't too far from the rez, just about twenty minutes, when suddenly my car shook a little and stood still. I tried not to panic and started it again, but it didn't work. Something had broken. „Awesome!", I moaned, trying to start my car again and again.

The black car stopped next to me. Jasper got out and came towards me. „Do you have problems with your car, Leah?", he asked, with just the slightest hint of a smile. „Yes", I growled. „Would you allow me to take you home?" He saw my expression. „Just to the reservation borders." I relaxed and nodded, feeling a little uncomfortable. I didn't really want to be alone with him. Not with the freakiest of the Cullens. Ahem, Hales.

I got into his car, and he drove me to the rez. We didn't talk, and I was glad about that. I had talked enough with him today.

At the reservation borders, he got out of the car and opened my door. Grrr. Like I wasn't able to open it myself.

And then I saw Sam and his stupid follower Jared, looking warily at Jasper and me. „Do not forget your car, Leah", Jasper grinned, „It would be really sad if I had to pick you up from the highway again." He stressed the „again", as if he wanted to taunt Sam, who looked extremely pissed. Then he got back in his car and drove off.

I walked towards Sam, who didn't look pleased at all. „What did you do with that Cullen boy?", he demanded. I looked at him. „We met in Seattle, and when my car broke, he was so kind to drive me home. And by the way, his name is Hale, not Cullen." „Whatever", Sam said, and his hands trembled, as if he was really furious, „You could have called one of us." I rolled my eyes. „Jeez, Sam! Get over your stupid prejudices, will you? It was easier that way." Sam just snorted, and now his arms were trembling, too.

„I'll keep an eye on the Cullens", he said coldly, „And you should stay away from them, Leah."

**I hope you don't get too mad about me introducing Jasper to the story - he and Lee are my favorite characters. But don't worry, it's still a Blackwater Story, and it's going to stay one. I just might make Leah like Jasper against her better judgment. Hope you don't hate me for that ;-)**

**I wish you all a Happy New Year!  
**


	11. Celebrating Christmas

Celebrating Christmas

On Christmas morning, my brother fell down the stairs and broke his arm again while he was running to our living room. He wanted his presents, of course, and children never watched out when they were about to get gifts.

My mom drove him to the hospital, and Dad and I stayed home. Seth was grinning at me and waved good-bye when they were leaving with Mom's car.

_My_ car was still broken, and I didn't have the time to bring it to a mechanic. I didn't have the money, either, because I had spent all my salary on the Christmas presents.

I didn't really know why we were celebrating Christmas anyway. We had different holidays, and none of them matched Christmas.

When I had asked my dad, he said that he liked Christmas and that we were celebrating it just out of fun. I didn't really believe that. In my opinion, we celebrated Christmas because we wanted to fit into the American society. Of course we wanted to stay different, but we also didn't want to stay behind, and because all citizens of the USA celebrated Christmas or something comparable, we had to celebrate it, too.

Not that I would care too much about our ancient Quileute holidays. Dad had made us celebrate them with the rest of the inhabitants of La Push, and I had liked them, but mostly because Sam had been there, and one tended to like everything when one was in the arms of a big, handsome, warm guy.

Then there were the Quileute days, which actually were a lot of fun, but they weren't real holidays.

I did like Christmas. We had been celebrating it ever since Seth's birth – no idea why – and I liked the extra batch of presents. Besides, I loved Christmas cookies.

So while Mom and Seth were at the hospital, Dad and I ate the leftovers of yesterday's meal and watched TV. Some movie about Santa Claus was running, and Dad had laid an arm around my shoulder. He looked pleased and not at all concerned about my brother. We were used to Seth getting somehow hurt.

We were watching the movie silently for a while, then Dad cleared his throat and looked at me. „What?", I demanded after he had watched me for a couple of minutes. „So you and Jacob", Dad stated. I raised an eyebrow. „Yeah, what about us?" „You're friends?" I nodded. „That's nice", he said and turned back to the TV. Then he turned back to me. „You're going to see him today?" I shrugged. I didn't know whether Jake had time today or if – by some miracle – his sisters had decided to visit them and he was forced to celebrate Christmas with them. I hoped he wanted to meet me, though, because I wanted to. In fact, I wouldn't mind spending most of my time with Jacob. When he was around, I forgot Sam and all those people who didn't like me. Jake was always friendly and funny, and I felt like myself with him. He was my best friend, and he got the best out of me.

I wasn't so sure whether I got on his nerves, though. Because I called so often, and I wanted to see him at least four times a week, and because I sat with him every lunch, trying to be as much around him as possible. I didn't want to get on his nerves. I wanted him to feel the same way about me.

„It's nice that you two have each other", Dad smiled at me. Then he stood up and moved the small pile of presents a little further beneath the very small Christmas tree Mom had bought yesterday after Dad's proclamation that this year, he wanted a _real _Christmas, complete with a tree and the decorations. Like we could celebrate anything else than a fake Christmas, borrowed from the christian Americans that had tried – and were still trying – to convert us.

„I think we should wait for Sue and Seth", he finally stated, „Your brother wouldn't want to miss you unwrapping your presents." I nodded and then eyed the pile suspiciously. I hadn't wished for anything, and I wasn't too sure about what my parents had gotten me. „Don't worry", Dad grinned at me, „I just bought you some really nice stuff." I rolled my eyes. When parents said that they had bought „really nice stuff" it usually meant nothing good.

I got up and walked upstairs to my room. I could hear Dad switching the channel to watch some stupid game.

I sat down on my bed and yawned. I felt tired, because Jake and I had talked on the phone until four in the morning. I hadn't seen him for two days now, and I missed him a lot. I also wanted to give him my present.

I had listened to Jasper and had made something myself. I hadn't written something, though – after all, Jake had already read my notebook and I didn't know what stories he liked. But I had made something for his car.

I liked his Volkswagen Rabbit. It was a pretty car, small and cozy. It looked like a good place to... I didn't finish the thought because my cell rang. It was an incoming call: JACOB BLACK.

„Yes?", I said. „Hey Leah!", Jake answered, and it sounded as if he was smiling, „Merry Christmas!" „Yeah, merry Christmas", I said, sounding not as enthusiastic as he did. We were silent for a while. I wondered why he had called me. Part of me wanted him to say he wanted to meet me right away.

I slapped my subconscious. It wasn't supposed to put pressure on me or Jake, for that matter. Stupid, stupid me.

„Did you get anything cool?", he asked. „No", I grinned, „I haven't opened my gifts yet." „WHAT?", Jacob sounded astonished, „Why?" I giggled. „Well, Seth couldn't wait, stormed to the living room and fell down the stairs. He's broken his arm – again." Jacob burst out into a roaring laughter. „Honestly?", he finally managed to say. „Yes!", I stated, ad joined him. Jacob's laughter was warm and contagious. When he had calmed down, he asked: „So, do you want to meet me today?" I beamed. „Of course I want to!" I was excited and gave my subconscious another hard slap for that. „Great! Come over to my house as fast as possible. Take your car!" I growled. „My car is broken, you dick." He chuckled. „See you later, Leah." And he hung up.

I walked down the stairs. „Dad, I'm at-" „Jacob's!", he finished my sentence, „Sure, honey. I'll call you when your brother gets back." I closed the door and walked past my car. Stupid Jacob. Why was he always making fun of my car being broken? How annoying he was.

I walked past the houses of the other inhabitants of La Push, moving so fast that I almost slipped on the frozen ground.

I arrived at the Blacks' garage behind their house and prepared everything for Jake's present. Then I ran back to the house, and of course I had to slip now. I saw myself hitting the ground, but two arms caught me before I fell.

„This IS a running gag", Jacob's deep, husky voice said from above me. I looked up into his grinning face. He pulled me up and gave me a hug. Then he kissed my cheek, and I tried very hard not to blush. What the heck was wrong with me? Why did I care so much about the things Jake did? Why did I care so much about him being my best friend?

I slapped my subconscious again. It wasn't supposed to think about that! I hated my subconscious. It was an annoying little bitch, thinking about the wrong things at the wrong time.

I answered his hug with a kiss on _his_ cheek and smiled satisfied when I saw the light in his eyes.

He put an arm around me and led me to the house. „You know, you could have driven your car." I hit him. „Stop making fun of me, okay? It's not that hilarious anymore!" He looked hurt. „But I'm not making fun of you." He grinned. „At least not anymore. I repaired the Fiesta yesterday when you were at work. You can be glad you didn't take it to a mechanic. It was just a minor problem, but they would have charged you at least fifty dollars." I stared at him. „What?" He smiled. „I have repaired your car, Leah. For free. Although there is this idea how you could pay me back." He winked at me, but I didn't move. „You have repaired it? You've repaired my car?" I stared at him in disbelief. He just shrugged. „Merry Christmas." It took me a minute to realize that. „Oh my god! How can I pay you back? How?" The grin that appeared on Jake's face didn't look too good. With his finger, he pointed at his cheek. With a sigh and a smile that probably looked a little too pleased, I kissed his left cheek and then his right one. Jacob grinned at me. „Now we're even. Let's go to my room."

We walked to his small chamber that looked more like a lumber-room. The bed where we sat down now almost filled the whole room.

The bed – which actually was more a travel bed than anything else - looked like he had only left it five minutes ago. Apparently he had called me right after getting up. How cute.

„Did you get anything good?", I asked. Jake grinned. „Believe it or not, but although Dad doesn't like Christmas much, I do get presents!" „How very nice of Billy. You didn't answer my question, though." „Oh", he paused for a moment, „Some car parts. The Big Bill has decided I'm allowed to drive the Volkswagen after all!" He beamed, looking very pleased with himself. „So you've found a buyer for the Chevy?", I asked. Jake looked down and turned red. „Well... yes." „So...?" Why did I have to squeeze the facts out of him? „Charlie bought it", he stated, and before I could ask why Fork's Chief Detective needed another car, he said: „For Isabella. She's going to move to Forks, soon." I gulped. Not Miss Swan again! She really got on my nerves.

Isabella Swan, the Chief's daughter, and I had met her many years ago when she used to come to Forks to visit her dad. I hadn't liked her much, because first she had stolen _my _Jacob – who used to be my favourite playmate when I was younger – and then I couldn't visit Jake's sisters, Rebecca and Rachel (my best friends at that time. It had become difficult after I had started dating Sam, because I had spent more time with him than with them), for they were supposed to play with Isabella whenever Charlie came to La Push.

And now she was stealing my best friend again – even before her arrival!

„That is nice", I managed to say, but I looked so grim that Jacob had to laugh. „Aww, come on, Leah, don't look so furious! It's just a stupid car for some girl." As soon as he said 'some girl', I relaxed. It looked like Isabella Swan wasn't as important to him as I had thought. Jake leaned back.

„So, what did you get me?" „What do you mean?", I asked innocently. „For Christmas", Jake grinned, but his smile was fading. What a child he sometimes was! „Oh, a Christmas present!", I acted surprised, „Wait a moment, maybe I have something to spare... a gum or something like that." I rummaged in my pocket and pulled out a very flat and colorful wrapped present. „Merry Christmas, Jacob", I smiled and watched his face brighten up. „You shouldn't have", he breathed, but I raised an eyebrow. „Don't lie to yourself, Mr Black." I cleared my throat and spoke with a deep voice: „Your feelings betray you, young Padawan." Jake hit me. „Ow!", I complained. He grinned and turned his attention to the wrapped gift. He opened it – and looked at a small piece of paper. „Oh. Wow. Thank you, Leah." I snorted. „There's something written on it, you jerk." He looked at me and then at the paper again. „Go to your car", he read out loud and eyed me suspiciously. „What did you do? Did you break something?" I rolled my eyes. „Sure, Jake, my Christmas present for you is a destroyed car." He grinned apologetically. „Sorry."

He took my hand, and together we walked to the Black's garage.

When we entered Jacob's kingdom, he looked warily around and tried to find a significant difference. There was none. He looked at me. I smiled. „What did the paper say?", I asked, winking at him. „Oh", he gasped, „The car!" I nodded.

With excited eyes, Jake jumped over some tools and opened the door to his car. Then he fell silent as he pulled out a photo of me and him – the same photo he had put in my notebook. The photo was in a small frame, and beneath and above it were the parts of a dream catcher. It was something that was supposed to be put on the front mirror of the car. It had taken me ages to make it, and I hoped Jacob liked it.

But he didn't say anything, and that made me really nervous. He stood there in front of me, frozen, staring at his present. „This dream catcher", he said cautiously, „is not from a store." I smiled. „Yep." „Did you make it?" „Yeah." Jacob stared at me. „You have made a dream catcher." Shaking my head, I said: „No, I have destroyed a dream catcher." „After you've made one", he stated. I shrugged. „Well, if you put it that way – yes."

Jacob sat down on the ground, looking away from me. „Jake, is everything okay?" Had I done something wrong? He didn't look up. „Jacob, are you allright?" Jeez, it was just a dreamcatcher, for crying out loud! Why didn't he say anything?

I had to admit, it was not _just _a dream catcher. For a couple of decades now – and probably even before that – Quileute had made dream catchers for those they loved. It wasn't like a promise ring or things like that, but it meant that the maker was always with the receiver, that the maker protected the receiver even in sleep. The time one needed to make the dream catcher was also the amount of time the maker had spent on thinking about the loved one.

I had gotten one from Sam, a really beautiful one, which was in the box beneath my bed.

Finally Jacob looked up. His eyes were glittering. „Thank you so much, Lee- Leah. It's so beautiful." I turned red. „You're my best friend, Jake. I think you deserve the promise that someone thinks about you all the time." I wished I had shut my mouth. What had I said? It had sounded really stupid. I was pretty sure it was my subconscious that was responsible for this small outburst of my true feelings. „Besides, it's not really a dream catcher", I started in order to save the situation, „I have made one and then I cut it in order to put the photo in between." Jacob shook his head. „It's a customized dream catcher. I won't ever be able to say someone else made it", he beamed at me, „And I love it. Thank you so much, Leah. Thank you so much."

We were silent for a while, and I thought about the last months. How Jacob had turned from being the second biggest jerk in history to being the one who brought back my much nicer self. Jake had gotten the best out of me – something I would have never believed at the end of the summer holidays. I had even become a lot nicer towards other people, which hadn't shocked only my parents, but also all the other inhabitants of our village.

Jake was the best thing that could have happened to me. I loved him so much. He was my best friend, and sometimes I even thought that maybe he was about to become a little more than that. He was fourteen, yes, but most of the time he didn't behave like fourteen, and I had thought more than once that I wouldn't mind being kissed by him.

I forbade my subconscious to think about that possibility – or impossibility – because most parts of me still loved Sam. He had my heart. A part of it belonged to Jacob, and it was a big part, but it wasn't enough to stop me from loving Sam.

I looked into Jake's beautiful brown eyes. „Thank you for repairing my car", I smiled, „I was afraid I might have to give it up." I loved my Fiesta. It was one of the last Fiestas produced in the US, and my dad had bought one in 1980 because he had needed a car and didn't want to buy a big truck. When I had turned 16, he had given me the Ford along with my permit, and I had learnt to drive with it. The thought of my Fiesta being damaged forever had been horrible. I wanted to keep it.

Jake grinned. „Sure, hon. Just come to me whenever you have problems with it. I should be able to fix it. Now let's go inside. I still have a Christmas present for you."

We walked back to his room. Jake tossed me a blanket – it wasn't cold in his room, but my hands and feet were frozen – and then disappeared into the kitchen to get something to drink.

When he returned, he not only carried two cups with steaming hot chocolate, but also a flat present which he handed me alongside a red cup. „Open it", he said excited, „But it's nothing special." I opened it. It was a gift card that said he would invite me to see a movie with him. He even would pay for the popcorn and the drinks, and he would also invite me to dinner afterwards. „In remembrance of the night that changed everything between us", he grinned, „And I swear I'm even going to see a romance with you if you want to watch one." I beamed at him. „Really? Even if I want to see the most romantic love story that the movie theater can show?" „Something like Titanic?", Jacob asked through gritted teeth. I grinned. „I don't want to kill you, Jake. Besides, I don't even like Titanic. My brother does, though." He looked relieved. „But torturing you a little is fine with me", I smiled widely. Jake stared at me, alarmed. „I don't want to know what movie you have in mind, do I?" I grinned. „Don't worry, Jakey. I'll be nice. We can watch some action movie on our _date_", Jacob grinned as I said this, „If you promise me to watch my favorite romantic comedy with me at home." Jacob thought for a moment. „Ok", he sighed, „Promise."

I grinned evilly. He did not know what he had gotten himself into.


	12. Romantic Comedies Aren't So Bad Really

Romantic Comedies Aren't So Bad. Really.

It was a week past Christmas. Dad had been right – he had gotten something nice: a gift card for a prom dress, plus shoes and jewellery. Sure, prom was still ages away, but I was glad I didn't have to pay for me looking good. Especially since I finally had found someone to look good for.

My brother had been extremely happy about his new watch and had almost killed me with his hug. He in return had given me a DVD.

It had finally snowed, and we had celebrated New Year with a sufficient amount of fireworks, which had been a little too loud, in my opinion. The whole village had been together, though, and although that had meant for me to watch Sam and Emily again, I had also enjoyed it. Partially because Jake had laid an arm around me for almost the whole night, and my head had rested on his shoulder.

It was now January the second, and that meant that I had exactly three days left until Jacob's birthday on the sixth, which made me panic. What should I get him? He had given me a journal and he was going to invite me to the movies. I in turn had given him the dream catcher with the picture. But I didn't have a clue what to get him for his stupid fifteenth birthday.

So when I walked past a store that sold weapons and tools in Port Angeles, something caught my eyes immediately. Something shiny, silver and black. It was a set of tools, with black handles. They were in a black box. I supposed someone who liked to build cars would love them. Surprised by my own idea, I entered the store to buy the box. The man behind the counter smiled and talked me into engraving the tools. We decided to put 'Jacob Black' on it. Just in case Jake would forget how he was called one day.

The man told me the tools would be ready tomorrow, and so I drove back to the rez, making a short stop at the supermarket in Forks to buy Jake's and my favourite chocolate-covered doughnuts. The reason for that – apart from me being hungry – was that tonight, Jake was coming over to my house to watch my all-time favorite romantic comedy with me.

He dreaded it, of course, but I guessed that was just the typical prejudice of a boy. I believed guys actually liked romances and romantic comedies (my brother was enough proof of that), but that they thought themselves too manly to admit it.

I was a little excited, because this was the first time that one of us was going to sleep at the other one's house. We had wanted to sleep in Jake's garage on Halloween, but, well, Sam had gotten between us. Like he always did. Stupid Sam. I hated him and loved him at the same time.

I had put a mattress and some pillows on the floor so Jake – or I – could sleep there. I didn't know who would sleep where tonight. Maybe both of us could sleep in my bed – at least I hoped so. I had also brought the TV upstairs and the DVD player. I had bought candy and coke.

Deep inside I felt a little scared, because I was nervous about the sleepover. Like I said, we'd never done this before, and I just dreaded the thought that something might change between us. That was a foolish assumption, of course, but I still feared it.

When the bell rang, I walked downstairs cautiously, trying not to trip because that would be just too embarrassing. Like Jacob said, me tripping was a running gag, and it was one I didn't want to be repeated. Especially not tonight.

I opened the door, and there stood Jacob, grinning at me. „Hello, Leah!", he greeted me and held up a bowl of popcorn in his one hand. He hugged me with his other arm and entered the hallway. „I'm a little scared, you know." Good. At least I wasn't the only one. „I've never watched a romantic comedy before." I grinned at him. „Don't worry. It's not so bad. Really."

We went upstairs and sat down on my bed. Jake took a blanket and made it himself comfortable. I jumped up, put the DVD into the player and pressed 'play'. The theme song of _Love Actually_, my most favorite movie of all times (except for _Star Wars_, maybe), started to play. Jacob groaned. „What have I gotten myself into?", he muttered. I hit him and handed him the doughnuts. He beamed at me. „Great! I guess now I'm gonna be able to sit through that thing." He took a big bite and munched for a while. The movie started. Jake and I were both cuddled in blankets and he had laid an arm around me. I felt great. Who wouldn't?

Jake actually thought the movie was hilarious. He especially liked Great Britain's Prime Minister because he was almost unbelievably dumb and funny. He also liked the guy who wants to travel to America to find a girlfriend.

When there was the Christmas show of the schools and little Sammy played the drums, Jacob turned to me. „It's not _so _bad. But I still think action movies are better." I hit him. „You haven't seen the end yet, Jake." He shrugged. „I don't need to. I don't like romantic happy endings." I raised an eyebrow. „Because you haven't had one", I smirked. Jake shrugged again. „Maybe." He paused for a while. „We could change that, you know?", he said and smiled at me. I tried my best to smile back. The „we" he had mentioned made my heart beat faster, but I knew he didn't mean it the way I wanted him to mean it. And I wasn't going to tell him that I wanted him to mean it the way I wanted him to mean it, because I knew he didn't mean it that way and I'd rather be his best friend than nothing.

I slapped my subconscious, not because I didn't want it to think about that, but because it felt weird to admit that I liked Jake a little more than just as a best friend. Just a little more. And I started to love Sam a little less.

That was a good sign. My pain started to disappear. My wounds began to close, and my broken heart began to heal.

Just small parts of my heart, of course. But loving Jacob Black – no matter whether it was the love for a best friend or a little more than just that – made the process much easier and faster.

I simply loved the end of _Love Actually_. How Colin Firth goes to France to ask a girl in horrible Portuguese if she wants to marry him while about a hundred people are watching them. How Sam (Ugh. That horrible name again!) jumps past the Airport security to say good-bye to Joana, his first love. And in the end how all the people return from their travels and meet at the airport, a place where, according to the movie, love can be experienced everyday.

I even cried a little at the end. I liked crying if it was for no true reason. That way one could cry about the things one wanted to cry about without really cry about them. Awesome!

I felt something shaking behind me. I looked up and saw that Jacob was trying to hold back tears. I grinned. „What's up with you?", I asked, knowing exactly what was up with him. „Nothing", Jake muttered and wiped the tears away, but I could see he was smiling.

I turned the TV off and crawled under my blanket and Jake laid down on my bed as well (it seemed like no one was going to sleep on the ground tonight). He pulled me closer and mumbled something about not wanting me to get cold.

I pulled my hair in front of me so Jake wouldn't choke on it. Jake followed my hand and started to play with a strand of my hair. „Good night, Lee-Lee", he whispered in my ear, and I smiled. He was allowed to call me that. I didn't know why, but somehow it felt like he was supposed to call me that. „Good night, Jake. Love you." He kissed my head. „Love you too."

He fell asleep a lot sooner than I did. I listened a while to his calm breathing and quiet snoring. Sam's snoring had always bothered me – it had been loud and irritating. Jake's was different. It was calming, and I felt safe somehow.

Moving a little closer, I finally closed my eyes and fell asleep, concentrating on the quiet noises Jacob made.

When I woke up the next morning, we were in the same position we had fallen asleep in. We hadn't moved an inch. The only thing that had changed was that instead of holding a strand of my hair, Jake was holding my hand now.

I looked into his face and saw too dark eyes staring back. Apparently he had woken up the same time I had. Funny.

„Good morning!", he yawned and smiled at me. „You know, Leah, I have to admit, the movie wasn't bad." I grinned. „Told ya, didn't I?" We beamed at each other and stood up. Together we walked downstairs to get some breakfast. Mom had scrambled eggs ready for us, and Jake ate as if he hadn't eaten anything for days. „Sorry", he said when he realized I was staring at him, „I'm just starved." Boys. Their stomachs were way too large. „It's OK", I smiled, „When do you have to leave?" He didn't know, so we went back upstairs to bring the TV to the living room so Dad could watch a game again. Seth helped us, which wasn't any help at all since his arm was in a sling. Actually, it was more annoying than anything else, but I knew he wanted to spend some time with his Indian Idol. Jake grinned. He liked it that Seth idolized him.

Before I could persuade Jacob to stay for lunch, Billy called and commanded him home. Jake looked sad and hugged me close, giving me a kiss on my left cheek, a kiss on my right cheek and one on my forehead. I grinned, feeling victorious. Three kisses. Gotcha, Jacob.

After Jake had gone, I drove to Port Angeles to get is birthday present. For a second I thought about buying him a cake, too, but then I decided to bake one. My apple pie. Then Jake would be the second person outside my family to know that it was _my _famous pie, not Mom's.

The reason why everyone thought that it was my mom's pie was that when I had been in sixth grade, there had been a School Spirit Day where the parents had been supposed to bring a cake or muffins. I had brought the apple pie which I had made all by myself because Mom hadn't had the time to bake one. She had been at the hospital with Dad. He had gotten his pills against heart disease on that day and had to be checked by a doctor again. So I had used an old recipe by my grandma (Daddy's side, of course), only that I had changed some things, added a little more cinnamon, things like that. Everyone had loved it. But when I told that it had been me who had made it, nobody had believed me. Especially Jared the Jerk had told everyone I was a big fat liar, and everyone had rushed to Mom to get the recipe. Mom in turn had thought that I had used Grandma's recipe, so she had given it to all those who asked. That had led to everyone assuming that I indeed had been lying about the apple pie. And still, they all only had gotten Granny's recipe, without my changes. And so the Clearwater Pie was still the best in the rez.

I'd never told Mom how to make it.

I bought the present and drove back to Forks to buy the needed ingredients in the local supermarket. I walked straight to the apples and looked for my favourite kind.

Suddenly I smelled the too sweet-scent again. It smelled a lot like peaches and chocolate, but in a sickening way. It was sweet to the point of burning my nose. I felt danger and spun around, ready to attack – throwing a shoe or something else as helpful as that – when all at once I calmed down. I felt comfortable again although _his _sight had given me this odd feeling of jeopardy creeping up my back. But it was all gone, and I felt plain happy.

„Hello, Leah Clearwater." I sighed and beamed at the guy in front of me. The beautiful, creepy, blond guy I'd met in Seattle. „Hello, Jasper Hale." I still smiled, but it felt weird. I didn't want to smile, and still I couldn't help it. „I assume you have had your car repaired?", Jasper asked, smirking at me. I wanted his stupid smile to piss me off, but it didn't. It looked so... handsome. So instead of snapping at him, I just nodded. „That is good", Jasper stated, „I do not think I will be there to save you a second time." He winked at me. „So, Leah, what are you doing here? Not Christmas shopping, if you allow me to guess." I rolled my eyes at him and held up the apples I had picked. „I'm going to bake an apple pie. And you?" What was _wrong _with me, for crying out loud? Why was I so polite? To _him_?

He held up a bag with oranges. „Groceries. My girlfriend has sent me here. We need some... stuff." He sounded as if he had no idea what this 'stuff' could be. „You don't go shopping often, do you?", I asked, half-grinning. He looked so lost, like he didn't belong to the reality of a supermarket. „No", he agreed, „That's Alice's job, usually. Today she has sent me, though. I don't know why. I don't cook often, too." I snickered. Awfully good-looking guy who couldn't cook. Well, you couldn't have it all. „What can you cook?" He looked at me. „Apart from eggs sunny side up? Nothing." „Jeez!", I laughed, „I would die! Eggs and eggs everyday – you can be happy you have someone else who cooks for you." He half-smiled. „Yeah. I probably should learn it, though, don't you think?" „Let's put it this way – a guy who is able to cook is able to survive without eating too much McFat food." Jasper raised an eyebrow. „What is so bad about fast-food?" I groaned. „It's not bad. It's _not sexy_." He laughed. „So a guy who can cook is sexy?" I slapped my subconscious for my comment. I shouldn't _flirt _with this boy. I shouldn't even talk to him!

I nodded. „At least I think so." „Well, then I guess I'll have to practise if I want you to find me sexy", he smirked, with his golden eyes glittering at me. I liked his eyes.

Irrgh. I didn't want to find _him_ attractive. I thought about Jacob, and this distracted me from getting lost in Jasper Hale's all-too-bright eyes.

Jasper looked at his watch. „Oops, I have to go. I promised my family to be home at six. Good-bye, Leah. It was a pleasure to meet you again." Yeah, yeah, talk to my hand, I wanted to say. I was angry with him, although I couldn't say why. But I just smiled and said really friendly: „Pleasure's all mine" through gritted teeth. He smiled and walked away, just to turn round once again to wink at me.

When I was sure he couldn't see me anymore, I threw an apple on the ground. I hated him! I hated him and the rest of his stupid rich family. He knew that. All Cullens knew that the Quileute didn't like them. And still he was talking to me! The thing that bothered me the most was that he didn't look so much in pain anymore. I didn't know why that bothered me, but it did. Because that had been one of the many reasons why I had thought he was weird, and I didn't want that thought to go away. Jasper Hale was weird, and no boy to look at.

END.

I returned home and watched TV, but I couldn't really concentrate. 'Scrubs' was on, something I usually found hilarious, but not even the iced tea I had bought for me could make me think about something else.

Jasper Hale was haunting me.

And he continued doing so in my dream.

In my dream, Jasper Hale stood next to me in the supermarket. His eyes were blood-red, which scared me like hell. And still we walked right into the woods, hand in hand. In the woods, his expression changed. He bared his perfect white teeth at me, and they looked _really _sharp. He prepared to assault me – I could see that in his eyes. But I couldn't run. My feet were frozen.

Suddenly a huge russet wolf jumped over me and attacked Jasper. With a loud _crack _the wolf ripped Jasper's head from his shoulders and threw it away. Then the wolf turned to me, and with a loud scream I woke up.


	13. Spaghetti Party

Spaghetti Party

It was the day of Jacob's birthday. I had spent the last night on baking his birthday cake. For his present I had used gift wrap paper in bright pink, just to annoy him, and when I had come across a silver-and-pink plastic crown at the _Lonesome Creek Store_ I had bought it as well and had put it on top of the present. You know, since it was his 'quinceniera', and I was pretty sure Quil and Embry hadn't thought about _that _joke.

I had sent him my birthday wishes at midnight, but then had fallen asleep quickly. School.

Seth couldn't shut his mouth on our way to school. He was babbling something about a girl in his class whom he had asked out. She hadn't answered yet, but he seemed pretty convinced that she was about to say yes. I didn't say anything, but in my opinion, if someone didn't say yes right in the beginning, he or she wasn't going to later. Still, I listened to his detailed description of her long brown hair and her dark brown eyes. Apparently he had had a crush on her since the beginning of the semester, and he was proud of himself to have finally asked her out. Seth sometimes was too cute to be true.

When we got out of my car, he showed me the back of the girl. „Her name's Abby, and she sits next to me in art class. She is so pretty, can you see her, over there? Look!", he continued with his monologue. But I wasn't listening anymore because I had spotted Jacob. He was walking next to Quil and Embry, laughing and joking about something. „Wait a minute, Seth", I cut my brother off and walked towards the grinning group.

When Jacob saw me, his face brightened up and he gave me a big hug. I could see Kayla glaring evilly at us behind his back. „Happy fifteenth birthday, Jake!", I told him and hugged him a little closer. Then I said hi to Quil (whom I hugged) and to Embry (with whom I shook hands). Jake linked arms with me and walked into the building, smiling happily at all the people who shouted „Happy Birthday!" at him. Almost everybody liked him. Actually, as far as I knew, there was no one who didn't like him.

„Alright", Jacob said when we had reached my locker, „What is my birthday present?" I grinned at him. „That's something you want to know, right?" He nodded, eager for my answer, but I just shook my head. „Can't do that, Jakey. Gotta have to see for yourself – later, at your house." He sighed. „You're horrible, Leah, do you know that?" „Sure I do!", I beamed and took out my history book. Jacob looked a little pissed, but I knew he was just mocking me.

„So who's gonna be there tonight?", I asked and looked up at him. He was staring at me with his deep brown eyes, and I started to feel a little uncomfortable. „Jacob!" I waved in front of his eyes. He blinked. „Sorry, I was daydreaming. What did you ask?" I shook my head in disbelief. „Pay attention, Mr Black!" Friendlier, I added: „Who's gonna be there tonight, at your party?" He thought for a moment. „You, Dad, Quil, Embry, Seth, Martin, Tom and Alex." „Who are them?" The names didn't really sound familiar to me. I knew Martin was a sophomore and Tom was a junior from the Makah rez Jake knew from the car parts store down in Hoquiam, but I couldn't recall an 'Alex'. „Alex Scott, from the Makah reservation. He is Tom's friend and we've met at _Checker Auto Parts_ some weeks ago. I like him a lot, he's really nice. Just like Tom!" I didn't knew Tom _or _Alex, but I was sure that they had to be nice if they were friends with Jacob.

„OK", I said, „I have to go now. See you at lunch. And don't forget – today it's me who's inviting you!" He winked at me, and I sprinted to my first lesson.

After school I drove back home to get ready for Jacob's party. But that was much more difficult than I had thought. Apparently all my nice clothes had gone missing. My only dress, a green one, wasn't where it was supposed to be, and my favorite jeans were in the washing machine. Angrily I threw all my clothes on the floor, trying to pick out an outfit nice enough for my best friend's birthday. Sometimes it was really annoying to be a girl. Guys just could throw on what they wanted. They didn't seem to care what they were wearing – at least not the boys I knew (with an exception to Jasper Hale, but he didn't count. Weirdos never counted. Besides, I didn't really know him. We just had talked a little). Girls had to look pretty or sexy or breathtakingly beautiful, but none of those three descriptions fitted to my wardrobe.

Finally, after an hour of searching and rummaging, I found another pair of jeans that looked acceptable and a green top. Along with my black jacket that would look pretty enough for an almost-all-guy- birthday party. They wouldn't pay much attention to how I looked, anyway. I was used to that.

People used to look at me when I was still going out with Sam. They had thought I was pretty and I knew that some of them had been angry that they hadn't asked me out.

When Sam had broken up with me, everything changed. And since I had become the most annoying bitch of La Push, they all had decided it was safer _not _to look at me. By now, I had accepted that they were all too chicken to really look at me – to ask me out again.

How I missed going out! I knew I still had Jacob's gift card, and I was really looking forward to using it, but I also wanted that some other guys would start to notice me again. I mean, I was a pretty girl. My eyes were a deep brown, and my hair was so dark brown that to most people it looked black. It was waist-long and if I cared enough to blow-dry them in the morning, they looked really good. My skin was russet, and it looked really smooth. I liked my looks. Not that I was arrogant about them, but I really thought I was pretty.

Damn! Somewhere out there had to be someone who would notice that! There just had to!

I put on my shoes and called Seth. His arm was still in a sling from the accident, but from what he had told me on our way back home from school, people pitied him. Unfortunately Abby hadn't said yes yet. Seth was really downcast because of that, but I had told him that girls at that age had to discuss boys and dating with their best friends first before answering and that she just had to say yes to such a friendly gentleman as he was. Seth had smiled at me, and even if I hadn't been completely sure I was right, it had been nice to see him happy. I loved it when my brother smiled, when he was happy. He had been the reason why I had pulled myself together after Sam's break-up. Sure, I had stayed in my room for a while, but I hadn't cried. I became angry and stubborn, yes, but that wasn't so much different from how I had been before. I had always been a little sassy, it just became worse after Sam had left me. But on the whole, I had stayed calm and quiet, cutting myself from every emotion. For Seth's sake I would always be happy.

With Jacob as my friend, my happiness had increased a lot. Jacob was just the best. I was so glad to have him as my best friend, and Seth was glad as well. I didn't know why, but he wanted to be exactly like Jake. Really, really weird, since Seth was just as happy a person as Jacob was. They were very much alike. They even had the same friends.

Although I wasn't too pleased that it had to be Baby Quil and Mr. Let's Bet Embry.

Well, you couldn't choose your brother's friends, could you?

I parked in front of the Black's house. An unknown car stood there, too. It was a Volkswagen, similar to the one Jake was building in his garage, and I was pretty sure it belonged to either Tom or Alex. I sighed. I wasn't too thrilled to get to know them. I wanted to keep the circle of friends the way it was: Quil and Embry, Seth and Jake, and me. I knew Martin, but didn't like him too much. Since he also was one of Paul's friends. And I certainly didn't like Paul! Paul was like the most stupid person at our school. At the rez. In the whole world! It was so easy to piss him off, but the bad thing was that it wasn't funny if he was pissed. If he was angry, it was the call-the-ambulance kind of anger. So I had tried not to piss him off too much in the past years. As opposed to my brother, I wasn't so keen on spending some time at a hospital. I hated hospitals.

So I didn't want Martin to become a constant part of my circle of friends.

I knocked at the door, and Jake opened. „Happy Birthday!", Seth and I said again, and I gave Jacob his birthday cake. Birthday pie. Whatever. He smiled widely. „Is that what I think it is? Sue Clearwater's apple pie?" I shook my head. „Actually, it's _my _apple pie." Jake looked surprised for a second, but then he grinned. „Should have known that only my Lee-Lee could bake a pie like that!" He gave me a big hug, and this time I kissed his cheek. „Because only Leah can bake something so delicious that you don't notice you're being poisoned?", Embry asked behind Jake's back. I shot him a very evil glare. „You're gonna get that back, Call." He grinned wickedly. „Bring it, Clearwater. I've been waiting for that ever since your birthday." But he winked at me and walked back to the Blacks' living room. Jacob shook his head in annoyance. „Why is he my best friend again?" I shrugged. „I have no idea, Jacob. Now, could you introduce me to the rest of your friends, I wanna know whether they're just like Embry or if they're actually sensible." „The latter", Jake smiled. He took my hand and led me to the living room.

Embry sat next to Quil, and both of them were eating huge slices of cake. Billy waved at me, but then turned his attention back to his cupcake. Martin sat next to Embry and was talking very loudly to Quil, something about baseball. And then there were two other boys, who looked more like my age. Both of course had the copper skin of the Native Americans, but one boy had brown hair while the other one's hair color was pitch black. The brown haired one had really short hair, while the one with the black hair wore it as long as Jacob. I couldn't really see his eye color, but it looked black, too.

Jacob led me to them. „So, guys, this is Leah Clearwater. Lee-Lee, these are Tom", he pointed at the brown haired boy, „and Alex. They're from the Makah rez, and because it's too far to drive tonight, they'll sleep here. Now who wants to try my Birthday apple pie?" There were a lot of „Me!"-calls, and Embry shouted:"Hey, Leah, what poison did you use? Cyanide? Mercury?" „Sure", I called back, „If you find small silver drops, don't worry, it's just decoration." We grinned at each other, and today I had to admit that Embry wasn't as annoying as I usually thought he was.

It was already dark outside when Billy anounced that he would now make dinner. He wheeled into the kitchen and left us alone. Jacob turned on the CD player. Some charts music was playing, and Quil started to dance in a very weird way. Soon he was joined by Embry and by my very embarrassing brother. Jacob just shook his head and turned to Martin to talk with him about – well, whatever boys talked about. I hadn't really found out yet.

Alex walked towards me and sat down. „So, you're Jake's famous best friend?" I smiled. „Did he say that?" Alex nodded, shaking his long black hair. „He constantly talks about you. Lee says this, Lee says that, Lee told me... you get the idea." I grinned. „Really? I didn't know that. That is... nice." It really was. I had become so important to him, and that pleased me a lot. I couldn't recall having a friend as nice as Jake ever since his sisters had left La Push.

Alex chuckled. „It can get quite annoying, you know, to always hear about you and not knowing you. So, nice to meet you." Smirking, I grabbed a plate with a piece of pie and started to eat. „How old are you?", I asked him after a short while. „17, but I'll turn 18 in April. You had your 18th birthday a few months ago, right?" „Yes", I answered, „But believe me, nothing changes. So you met Jake at his favorite store?" „Yep", Alex grinned, „One day I went there with Tom. Jacob was already there, and since Tom knew him, he introduced us. Now, Jacob is a really nice kid, and he knows an awful lot about cars, so we got along really well." „And now you're here", I stated. Alex nodded. We were silent for a while, and I observed my little brother dancing a waltz with Quil, while Jacob was wearing his pink Quinceniera crown and eating a large piece of pie. He hadn't unpacked his presents yet, but it seemed that he liked the crown – sort of. Embry, Martin and Tom were talking about something while sitting on the sofa.

„What do you do for fun?", Alex suddenly smiled at me. I thought for a moment. „Watching movies, writing, getting on people's nerves, cooking and baking, taking a walk on our beach. And you? I mean, except for cars?" He grinned. „I love playing baseball, and I like hiking. Oh, and what I like best is observing tourists. They're so funny!" I smiled, remembering that time almost four months ago where a white couple had tried to find a guide. I told Alex about them, and he burst out into loud laughter. „Did they find one eventually?" I shook my head. „No one is stupid enough to actually lead around a couple of dumb pale-faces. Besides, we all know many of them – especially those visiting us – have way too many prejudices to actually listen to a guide. You know, like we live in unity with nature, propose a serious alternative to society and are all very spiritual." Alex nodded. „I totally agree with you. It's not like we're hippies – especially not we younger ones. I mean, 'course I listen to our tribal stories, and I like our feasts, but I'm just as American as someone living in New York City." I sighed in agreement, because finally there was someone thinking exactly the same thing as I did. I had talked about that – or tried to talk, anyway – with Kayla and Jessica when we still had been friends.

„What are you talking about?", Jacob interrupted. „Only tourists", Alex answered, „I think I understand why she's your best friend." He winked at me and then turned back to Jake. „Why don't you open your presents, Princess Jake?" Jacob rolled his eyes. „Very funny. Leah gave me that one!" Alex grinned. „Nice!" Jacob groaned. „If you really insist, then of course I must", he said with a tone implicating his high position as the Quinceniera Queen. He walked over to the small pile of presents and took a look at a very ugly looking packet in green and orange paper. „That's Quil's and mine", Embry stated as the rest of the boys came over to watch Jacob unwrapping his gifts. Jacob raised an eyebrow. „Oh really? Why didn't I figure that out?", he said in a sarcastic tone and opened the present. Then he smiled. „Great! Exactly what I needed! A car stereo! Thanks, guys!" They didn't hug, but made a very weird move in which Jacob's fist hit first Quil's and then Embry's fist after which all three made a funny noise that sounded a lot like „Huh!" I stared at Alex, eyebrows suspiciously raised. He smiled at me and whispered:„Don't worry, that's our hand shake, so to speak. Nothing too weird." I still wasn't convinced. Boys were ultra-weird. Wasn't a simple hug sufficient?

I was still thinking about the weirdness of my best friend and his friends when I suddenly saw pink paper flying around me. I couldn't say anything except for a simple shriek when something – or someone – pulled me up and spun me around. Then I could feel Jacob's soft lips on my cheek and then he said out loud: „Thank you, Lee, thank you so much! This looks awesome! Thank you, thank you, thank you! And I had been wondering where to get new tools! They're _beautiful_!" I couldn't really see where these simple tools where beautiful, but the way Tom, Alex and Jake were admiring them, I guessed it was a boy thing.

Hmpf. I didn't like things being called 'boy things'. Girls were just as able to handle cars as boys were. Maybe I should start to learn about cars so next year I could actually join their talk and finally understand what was so admirable about a set of ordinary tools.

When they were done staring at the tools, Jake continued unwrapping the rest of the presents. Tom and Alex had bought some kind of car part for Jacob's Volkswagen Rabbit which Jacob really liked and which I didn't recognize (Jeez! I really, really, really had to start studying cars if I wanted to keep up with my friends). Martin had given Jacob money.

And that was it. Jacob showed us what Billy had given him – again something for the Rabbit, which made me wonder how broken the car must be. Rachel and Rebecca had both sent him money, but Jake didn't care much about that. I knew he was angry that they had left him alone with a disabled man, although we had never talked about it.

„Jacob! Come and help me with dinner!", Billy suddenly called from the kitchen, and Jacob left the living room. Alex turned to me again. „Can I have these tools for my birthday, too?", he asked smilingly. I grinned. „Definitely not. I would never give two people the same present." „Well, the tools wouldn't say _Jacob Black_, so it would be different." I winked at him. „_If _I see you at your birthday, you will get something equally cool." Alex beamed. „Give me your cell number so I can invite you."

I stared at him for a few seconds. Did he seriously just ask for my number? It was long ago that a boy had asked for it after such a short time. Jacob and I had our numbers because our dads were friends and they had made us having the numbers of the council's family members saved on our cells, in case of an emergency. That was why I had Old Quil's number on my phone as well as Sam's, although I didn't need or want them.

Well, and Sam – he had asked me out first and then asked for my number on our first date. Actually the last time someone had asked after such a short while had been two years ago, when I had been to the library of Forks. There I had met a boy with whom I had talked about my favorite books,and he had wanted my number. I didn't give it to him, though, because he had seemed a little weird. His name was Eric Yorkie, as far as I could remember.

„Sure!", I beamed at Alex. His face brightened up. We exchanged numbers, and he looked very pleased. Tom looked at him, very confused. „Why are you smiling like that, Alex?" „I just got the number of a very beautiful girl." My heart stopped. Did he really- no way, there was no way... A smile was appearing on my face, a smile so bright that it probably looked weird. He had called me 'beautiful'!

Tom looked at me for a second. „Can I have your number, too, Leah?", he then asked. „What?" A dumb question, yeah. But I didn't know how to react. That was too weird. All these months nothing, and then suddenly two on one day? I gave him my number as well, but I felt a little uncomfortable now. Maybe this was a strange bet. Embry looked amused. That usually meant nothing good. Maybe they had thought about that before I had arrived. But why would they do that? That wasn't funny, and usually Embry's bets were stupid and childish, but not malicious.

Jake returned, with a huge bowl filled with spaghetti. „Hey Jake!", Embry shouted, „Guess what's happened! Your Lee-Lee has given her number to these two heartthrobs!" He made kissing noises towards Alex and Tom. Jacob raised an eyebrow. „Really? Good for her. I don't know what it's to you, Call." Embry stuck his tongue out at Jake. Jacob laughed. Then he looked at the bowl with the spaghetti, and then at Tom and Alex. „If either of you asks her to a date, you need my permission, understood?", he grinned. Everyone laughed, but I just smiled. I knew Jacob pretty well, well enough to see that this was no joke, and that made me more happy than the two boys who had wanted my number.

„Jacob, can I ask Leah out?", Alex asked after everyone had stopped laughing.

Jacob's eyes flashed at Alex. He grabbed a fistful of spaghetti and threw them at him. „Hey!", Alex shouted, „Not fair!" He grabbed some spaghetti himself and threw them back at Jake. My best friend put the bowl on the table, with spaghetti in both his hands. I sighed. They weren't seriously having a food fight because of me, were they? Jacob threw one fistful of spaghetti towards Alex, but the pasta hit Quil instead. Quil shouted:"Argh!", took some spaghetti and threw them in Jake's direction, but the spaghetti hit my brother. I started to realize that this was _not _an adult party, but a party where most guests where under sixteen. When Martin got hit by a bunch of pasta, he threw a handful back and hit Embry, and soon every boy in the living room was throwing around with spaghetti. I snuck into the kitchen where Billy was about to take the sauce from the kitchen stove. „Hello, Leah!", he smiled at me, „What are you doing in the kitchen? Do you need anything?" I shook my head, and Billy wheeled past me into the living room to bring the sauce to the table. I walked behind him. The boys hadn't stopped yet. The table was full of spaghetti, as well as the floor, and Jake had some spaghetti-strands in his hair.

„STOP IT RIGHT NOW!", Billy shouted, but then he was hit by a portion of spaghetti as well, and without much thinking, he put the sauce on the table, grabbed some spaghetti and threw them in some odd direction.

I remained in the kitchen door and waited for the stupid fight to end. It took another ten minutes until Embry said: „Hey folks, we should stop. There's no more food left." Seth looked at the spaghetti in his hand. „Yes there is." „To eat, I mean!" Embry seemed very sad because of that. Billy sighed. „I'm going to get some pizza. You can clean up the living room meanwhile." Everyone nodded. I sighed. Not pizza! I hated cheese! Billy, who knew me, grinned. „Come with me, Leah, you can choose something different."

When we returned, the living room was clean again, and the boys sat calmly around the table waiting for their dinner. Billy smiled. „Well done. I'll tell your parents to not cook spaghetti for your birthday parties." Everyone grinned, and then there was a long silence in which we all ate our meals. I sat next to Jacob, and I could see him glaring at Alex every couple of minutes. That was odd. Could he be jealous? I shook my head. No way. Jake and I, we were best friends. True, I sometimes wished that it was different, but he hadn't shown any sign that he wished the same, and therefore I could go out with whoever I wanted. There was no way Jacob was jealous.

After dinner, Seth and I had to go. Alex and Tom both gave me a hug, and Alex turned to Jake asking: „You haven't answered my question yet. Can I ask Leah out?" Jacob sighed and grinned. „Yeah, whatever. It's her choice, isn't it?" I nodded. „Thanks for that insight, Jake." I hugged my best friend close and kissed his left and right cheek. He beamed. „Thanks again for the tools. They're awesome!" He kissed my foehead – which was not very easy since he was just a little bit taller than I was.

I shook hands with Martin, who seemed to be a nice person, but I still was suspicious. Like I said – he was Paul's friend, and it was naive to not be suspicious of Paul and his friends.

I hugged Quil, too, and this time even Embry got a hug. He was a lot nicer than I had thought. Especially because he was nice in an unfriendly way. I liked mean comments, and I loved to give comments back.

Seth and I then drove home. My brother seemed really tired, but happy. I pulled some spaghetti out of his hair. „You know, that was really really childish", I muttered. Seth smiled. „Yeah, but it was fun." I had to grin. „Well, that's right. It _was _fun."


	14. I Meet My Valentine At Twilight

I Meet My Valentine At Twilight

According to Dad, Isabella Swan had arrived in Forks on January 17, but she didn't show in the reservation. I didn't care. I was glad about that. I had been too afraid that she might become friends with Jacob. Charlie Swan had come to Billy to get the old Chevy truck, and that was it. No more information on Isabella, just that apparently she had made some friends in Forks. I didn't really know why Dad was telling me this, maybe he thought it interested me.

It didn't. There were more important things. First of all, the council meetings weren't at our house anymore, nor were they at Billy's house. „We don't want to bother you", my dad had said, but my guess was that they were afraid that we who weren't supposed to take part in the meetings would hear something. Maybe they had found out I had found a piece of paper after the last meeting in our house and didn't want that to happen again.

Second, my brother had started to date Abby. She had said yes, and they had gone to see a movie. Abby was a nice girl, not like me, but exactly the type that fitted to my brother: cheerful, happy, funny and sweet. I had driven them to Port Angeles to the movie theatre, and Abby had been really friendly. I guessed that Seth had not told her about my bitchier side. Seth was head over heels for the little girl with the long dark brown hair and the light brown eyes, I could see that, and she had fallen for my little brother as well. Which was very easy, because my brother was just the nicest, friendliest, greatest person in the world. He was just as easy to love as Jacob.

Third, Alex, Tom and I had written a lot of SMS since Jake's birthday. I had written more with Alex than with Tom, but both boys were really nice, and it just felt great to talk to boys again, boys who liked me, who were interested in me and who weren't such little children as Quil or Embry. Both Makahs were a lot like Jacob, but they lacked the warm aura Jake was emanating to be exactly like him. There was no one who could replace my Jacob.

Fourth, Valentine's Day was approaching, and I dreaded it. Not only because last year, I had had a very nice boyfriend who had proposed to me...

Well, not exactly proposing. I had been too young to actually accept a marriage proposal, but Sam just wanted to clarify everything between us.

It had been at twilight – because at twilight., the light at First Beach was the most romantic, and watching the sunset from there had always been my favorite thing to do. I had waited for Sam at the beach, sitting on a bleached tree, watching the sky reddening. It had looked perfect; the colors of the sky had been every shade from dark blue to light pink. Sam had arrived a little later, with a single pink rose in his hand which he gave to me. He had sat down next to me, laid an arm around my shoulder and had pressed me against his body. How I had loved that! The warmth of his body, the beating of the heart that had belonged to me, his quiet breathing. The sun had already been bright red, and nobody else had been at First Beach. Or maybe I couldn't remember – the moment had been so perfect, nothing could have bothered me.

Sam then had given me a long kiss, and I had played with his long hair – which he still had at that time. „I love you, Lee-Lee", he had said, with a really sincere voice, and I just knew he meant it. „And I you", I had answered and had kissed him. I had loved him so much, I had given my heart to him, it had been unquestionable for me that we would always be together. It had been the same for him.

We had talked a little, but then we had settled on watching the sky darkening and the moon rising, and I had almost fallen asleep on his shoulder when he had suddenly whispered in my ear:"Leah, will you marry me one day?" I had been awake immediately, staring at him in disbelief and excitement at the same time. „Excuse me?", I had asked back. „Will you become my Mrs Uley?", he had asked again, „Because I know you're perfect for me, and I could never love anyone else. You're the one, Leah, so will you please marry me as soon as you're out of High School?"

Now, I knew that teenage romances usually didn't last forever, but Sam and me, it had been different. He had been my everything, and I had been more than convinced that I would always love him. So of course I had said:"Sure as hell I will!" The smile on Sam's face had been the biggest smile I had ever seen, except maybe for my smile when he pulled out a little black box. He had opened it, and inside had been a simple silver ring, with a Quileute symbol engraved on the outside and a quote on the inside: _My whole heart for my whole life._ With a huge smile, he had put the ring on my finger and had said: „Now that is officially my promise that I will never, ever leave you. I'll love you forever, I promise. I really do. Don't you ever forget that."

Hah! It was funny, thinking about that now. I could recall everything he had said, because I had believed him. I had never forgotten the things he had said. But apparently, he had forgotten them. We had been engaged, for crying out loud! Well, sort of. I hadn't told anybody, and in the end, it had been the best decision. It would have hurt a lot more to tell people that he had ended our engagement instead of 'only' our relationship.

I still had the ring, buried deep in the box beneath my bed, and there it would stay forever. It would stay a secret forever. Of that I was sure. I would never tell anyone that he had even broken _that _promise. Never. Because thinking about it hurt bad enough. I would never become Mrs Uley. In fact, I started to believe that I would never become Mrs Anybody.

So that was why I was dreading this year's Valentine's Day. No one and nothing could top a marriage proposal. And to be honest, I didn't really want to meet anyone on that day. Actually, I just wanted to stay alone, cuddle up in blankets and watch PS:I love you or some other romance. Eat some chocolate, things like that. Remember the last Valentine's Days.

Seth was going to meet Abby, of course, and he had already asked for my advice on what to give her. I had told him to buy some jewellery. A bracelet, a necklace, some earrings. And some candy, of course.

The day before Valentine's Day both Tom and Alex asked me whether I wanted to meet them. I told both that I didn't really want to meet anybody on that day, that I couldn't really celebrate the 14th of February after Sam's break-up. That I was still hurt and that I wouldn't be much fun tomorrow. Nothing better than the truth, Dad always said, and he was right about that. Things were usually easier if one told the truth. That was why it had become difficult between Sam and me in the end. I had known that he had a secret which he couldn't tell me, and I really had tried to not care about that, but it had been hard. Very hard.

The next day as the sun was about to set I walked to the _Lonesome Creek Store_ and bought a box of conversation hearts for me. Jacob hadn't come to school today, Billy had said he wasn't feeling well. That was okay for me, I didn't expect anything from him, anyway. After all, we were just friends. I loved him as a friend, and yes, I loved him a little more than just as a friend, but he didn't, and why should best friends meet on Valentine's Day?

The really weird thing was that although I had told Alex and Tom that I wanted to spend this day alone, I didn't. I didn't want to be alone, I didn't want to be free, as people called it. I didn't think of it as _being free_. I had been free when Sam had been mine. Now, I was tied to a broken heart that desperately looked for love.

Not that I thought about that much. Usually. But today was a special day for me, and I couldn't help but think about my lost love.

Logan looked at me and smiled a little sad smile. He liked me a lot, and I loved working at the store. He probably knew why I was so downcast. „It's gonna be okay, Leah, honey", he said and gave me a heart-shaped lollipop for free, „Believe me. I know such things." Then he winked at me, and I left the store.

I called Mom to tell her that I would go to First Beach for a while. Her tone implied that she was worrying about me, and I was glad that I had never told her Sam had wanted to marry me. She then would have worried a lot more, of that I was sure.

I looked at my cell again to check whether somebody had sent me a message. But no – not even Tom or Alex had sent me something today, since they knew that I wasn't too happy about Valentine's Day. Still, it made me a little sad that they hadn't sent me something, anyway. I couldn't expect that, though – if I had wanted that, I should have told them. One had to say things straight if one wanted them done.

What made me _really _blue was that Jake hadn't written anything. I didn't even know why that bothered me so much – after all, we were just friends, nothing more, and nothing less. I didn't expect anything from him, and _still _it made me sad that he wasn't thinking about me today.

I arrived at First Beach. No one was there, just me and the bleached trees, the waves and the dark mountain of James Island. I realized it was dusk and it hurt me to see the sun set as colorful as it did a year ago. The sun didn't care that everything had changed, the sun didn't care that my heart had been broken and that it didn't heal. I could see a million colors slowly fading with the light. James Island became a huge shadow while the sun became redder and redder until it was just as red as blood. It was a little creepy, being here alone, watching the world going to sleep.

I could feel something wet on my cheek and I realized that I had started to cry. In the last months, I had never felt as lonely as I did today. Sam was probably out with Emily, my brother had Abby, Daddy had Mom, and Jacob wasn't there as well. I really was alone.

I was alone.

Alone.

I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, as if someone had grabbed my heart and was twisting it. I gasped for air, but for some reason I couldn't breathe. I just couldn't breathe! The air didn't reach my lungs anymore! I knelt down and tried to calm down, but there was only one thought spinning in my head: I was alone, alone, alone.

Suddenly I felt two strong hands touch me, caressing my back. „Lee, are you alright? Leah!"

Upon hearing that voice, that beautiful, husky voice, my heart untwisted and air was filling my lungs again. I panted and collapsed right into Jacob's arms, tears running down my cheeks. Jacob just held me tight. „Leah, baby, what's wrong? What's happened?" He sounded really concerned. Then he saw the lollipop and the conversation hearts that I had dropped when I had knelt down. „It's because it's Valentine's Day, right?", he asked tenderly, with a quiet voice. I nodded, but then I shook my head, only to nod again a minute later. Jacob wiped my tears away and kissed my forehead. „I'm so sorry, Lee. I'm so sorry that he did this to you. Leah, I – I can't tell you how sorry I am. You should talk more about it, honey. You know that I will listen to you. You can't keep it locked up. It's gonna come out, just like today. Please, Leah, talk to me more. Talk to me about Sam, about everything. I want to know everything that's on your mind."

I took a deep breath, glad that everything was back to normal with me, and sat up. „I'm sorry, Jake", I said, trying to look alright „I hope I didn't frighten you." Jacob laughed, but it sounded nervous. „You have frightened me like hell, Lee-Lee! Kneeling on the ground like you're about to die, I was really scared. I love you, Leah, you're my best friend, and I don't want to see you hurt. Now tell me, what are you doing here all by yourself? I was convinced Tom or Alex asked you out!" I half-smiled. „They did. I said no." Jake stared at me. „Why?" „Well-", I thought for a moment, „I didn't want to meet them today. I just wanted to... to..." „Yes?" „I don't know", I sighed. „You wanted to be alone?", Jacob assumed. I quickly shook my head. „No, no! Not alone. Just not with _them_." Jacob snorted, opened the box of conversation hearts and gave me some. „You need sugar, sweetie. Come on and eat." I swallowed three hearts, and really started to feel better. Jacob still looked concerned. „I knew I should have called you", he muttered. „But you're sick!", I stated. Jacob grinned. „Who cares? I just had a little headache this morning, nothing big. Jeez, I'm so glad that I went to the beach!" I stared at him. „Why did you, anyway?" He shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable. „I was looking for you." „You were?" He nodded. „Logan told me this morning that you often go to the beach after work, and I knew you weren't home because I went there to look for you like half an hour ago." My face lit up. „You were looking for me!" I didn't know whether Jacob knew what that meant to me, and I didn't care. He had come looking for me, he had thought about me, someone had thought about me today! I wasn't alone, no, I was not alone. My Jacob was there.

Jacob smiled at me and grabbed a small box that was lying next to him. „That's for you. I even bought you some flowers, but they're in your room. I was afraid that they might not survive the wind out here." My smile became wider and wider. Flowers? And a box? „What's in it?", I asked. Jacob shrugged. „Open it, silly!" I shot him an evil look and then took the box. My hands were shivering, not only from the cold, but also because I was nervous. Slowly I opened it, only to close it an instant later. I opened it again, not believing what I was seeing. It was a charm bracelet, a silver one, with a small silver heart already on it that said _Best friends. _

I swallowed hard so I wouldn't start to cry again. The bracelet was beautiful, and it was exactly what I needed. „Jake", I managed to choke out, „Jakey, that's really awfully nice... It's beautiful! You shouldn't have-" He interrupted me: „Well, apparently I should have a lot earlier. I've had this for a while now, and I wasn't sure about when to give it to you." I looked at him for a second in silence. Then I turned my head to the ocean and listened to the furious waves crashing against the shore. It was almost dark by now, just a little light stripe of sunlight lit the horizon. „I love twilight", Jacob whispered, „It's my favorite time of day. I don't know why. It just feels so calm." I nodded and watched the light stripe disappear. How did it come that I always met my Valentine at twilight? Was it because it 'felt so calm'? Or was it just a coincidence? Immediately I had this line from _Star Wars_ on my mind: There are no coincidences. Hello? Not helpful! Not. Helpful.

„Why weren't you sure about Valentine's Day?", I finally asked. Jacob thought for a moment. „I didn't want you to think that I just gave it to you because it's the 14th of February. I wanted to give it to you when it felt like you really could need it, so I have been carrying it around for a while now. And I guess today you can really need it. I've found it some time ago and thought of you. I liked the idea 'cause I can add a charm whenever I feel like it." He grinned at me, and I couldn't help but kiss his cheek. „Jacob Black, you are the most awesome friend in the world. You really are." He smiled a huge smile. „That's all I wanted to hear. Now come on, let's go home. Don't ask me why, but I'm starting to find it creepy here." I chuckled. „Maybe it's the ghosts from our ancestors who were killed when they fled from the cold ones", I said, remembering one of our many tribal stories. This one was about human-like creatures who were ice-cold and drank human blood. We called them cold ones, the pale-faces called them vampires. Either way, it was a myth, just like everything else that was called tribal story, folk tale or fairy tale.

Jacob didn't laugh at my comment. „I don't know. Just let's go home." He helped me up, and hand in hand, we walked back to the village. We didn't talk or look at each other, but we didn't need to. This was my best friend, and I understood him even without words.

At home, I rushed into my room. The flowers were beautiful: pink and white roses and some purple flowers that I didn't recognize. The colors were bright and made me happy – just like Jake always made me happy. I opened my colorful notebook – which reminded me of Jake and his happy aura, too - took my blue pen and wrote with a huge smile on my face:

_Jacob Black, one day I will tell you what you did to me today._

_I love you – I really do._


	15. The Courting Of The Swan

The Courting Of The Swan

It was the beginning of March when Isabella Swan showed herself for the very first time in the reservation. Apparently her new friends had asked her to come with them to First Beach, something the Forks teens did quite often. I didn't really know them – just Mike Newton, because his parents owned a hiking store and because I had seen him. Oh, and Eric Yorkie, the freak from Forks High who had asked for my number some years ago.

Somehow _our _teenagers had been informed about the Forks kids coming to our beach. Jessica, with whom I had started to talk a little more often because I wasn't as mad at her as I was at Kayla, had asked me after school:"Hey Leah, are you coming to the beach tomorrow, too?" „Why?", I had asked back. „Some juniors from Forks are coming – Mike Newton announced it on Facebook." That was the reason why I didn't have Facebook – I didn't want thousands of people as friends whom I simply didn't like. „I don't think I'll be there", I had said. Jessica had made a sad face. „Oh, why not? They will bring Isabella Swan! You know the Swans, right?" I had sighed. „I know Chief Swan, and I'm not interested in his daughter. Besides, if there's anything special about her, you're gonna tell me, anyway. So no, I'm not coming." „You don't like her", Jessica had concluded. Aww. Smart girl. „Yeah, that's true", I had admitted grinningly. Jessica had shaken her head. „You are so mean, Leah Clearwater!" But she had winked at me and had said: „Alright, I'll see you on Monday. Have a nice weekend!"

Of course I wasn't going to go look at Isabella Swan and her friends. Why would I? I hadn't liked her when we were little, so I wasn't going to like her now. Besides, I didn't want to be present when Jacob saw her again. He had liked her – they had baked mud pies together, things like that. I didn't want to see him like her again. Which was probably going to happen, anyway, because Jacob was the nicest person on the planet. Everyone liked him, and he liked everyone, too. He was way too friendly, in my opinion. Too warm, too nice, too lovable. If he was so easy to love, many girls would love him, and that couldn't happen. I wanted to keep him for myself. As a friend, of course!

Alright, I didn't know who I was kidding. Of course I was scared that he might fall in love with somebody who wasn't called Leah Clearwater. Valentine's Day had shown to me that Jacob was the best guy to find if one couldn't have Sam Uley. Maybe he was even better than Sam. I wanted to keep the possibility of Jacob Black as my boyfriend for myself. I didn't want to share him, and I definitely didn't want to share him with Isabella Swan.

I didn't really know why I didn't like her. She had always been a nice girl. But maybe that was the reason. I had never been a nice girl. Nice enough, maybe, but not nice on the whole. I had always been snapping at people, had always made nasty comments and had never listened to what people told me. I hated the Alright-I-do-what-you-want-goody-goody-attitude, and Isabella was exactly that kind of girl. And maybe a part of me didn't like her because I knew Jacob had always liked her, while he and I, we... well... We hadn't really liked each other before the incident with Sam and the night out that followed as an apology. Sure, I had known him since he was a baby, and we had played together and had made mud pies, too, but I had always played the I'm-older-and-you're-a-tiny-little-baby-card on him, the one one usually used for annoying little cousins.

Anyway, I didn't like her, and I didn't want Jacob to like her too much.

So when on Saturday morning most of my friends went to First Beach, I drove to the _Lonesome Creek Store _to work with Logan. Logan was a forty-year-old man with long dark brown hair and light brown eyes who was extremely nice. He made his living with selling souvenirs and groceries, and he was a really great boss. It was fun working with him, and today I forgot that on the beach, Isabella Swan was about to steal my best friend.

Logan let me finish early, and I drove back home. Turned out Dad was at Billy's, and Mom and Seth were shopping for groceries in Forks. Glad that I had the house for myself, I went to the living room to watch TV.

I wanted to watch Scrubs, but something on the news caught my attention. Some guy not far from here had been killed by an animal. He had worked late, and the next day he had been found dead on the roof of the factory he had been working for. Apparently he had lost all his blood, and the news anchorman said he found it really frightening that there was an animal out there that inflicted few wounds but leaving its victims with all blood drained. They showed a picture of the dead man, and I could feel the cold creeping up my back. He certainly didn't look good. His face was a frightened grimace, and there were strange wounds on his left arm and his neck. They looked like bites, and although the man was white and looked very cold, the wounds looked even whiter and colder.

I shuddered. Hopefully that wasn't going to be repeated. That had been the creepiest thing I had ever seen. What kind of animal would do that?

A cold, bloodless corpse.

Nightmare material.

It was already dark outside when suddenly our door bell rang. I jumped at the noise – I had been thinking too much about the strange corpse and the murderer of the poor man – and needed a few seconds to calm myself before I stood up, went to the door and opened it.

It was Jacob, and he looked like he had swallowed the sun – extremely happy. His cheeks were red, and his eyes were sparkling.

„Can I come in, Leah?" I nodded and let him into the house, He walked straight into the kitchen, took a glass and filled it with water. He emptied the glass in just a second before he sat down and exhaled loudly.

I sat down face to face with my beaming best friend."Spit it out, Jacob, what's happened?" Jacob took a deep breath and looked at me for a second before he began: „Well, you know that today some of us went to First Beach to meet some of the Forks teens, right?" I nodded. „So I was there, and Jessica, and for some reason Sam, and Embry, and some others from your class and from the seniors." I snorted. „Why was Sam there?" Jake shrugged. „I don't know. Felt like he was watching us. Anyway, Bella was there." „Bella?", I asked, a little confused. Jacob looked at me as if I was very, very dumb. „Bella! You know – Isabella Swan?" Oh. So her nickname was Bella. Great! He was already using her nickname – it had taken him ages to call me 'Lee-Lee'. I smiled a very fake smile and said: „Yeah, so what's happened?"

„Well, she was hiking with some of the Forks jerks, Mike Newton and consorts, you know. She sat down with a friend at the campfire, but her friend left after a while, so I took a chance and sat next to her, asking if she was Isabella Swan. She corrected me, saying that she was called Bella. We shook hands, and I introduced myself as the son of the man who had sold her car to Chief Swan. She seemed a little concerned that she couldn't remember me, but I didn't care, 'cause I was still little when we played together, but she could remember my sisters." Rachel and Rebecca, my two former best friends, who hadn't only left Jake behind, but also me. „Anyway, I told her what they were doing now, and then we talked about the Chevy and me building cars. We then were interrupted by an ugly blond with fishy eyes whose name I don't remember, who asked why nobody had invited the Cullens. And Sam answered that the Cullens simply didn't come here. You know, because of this superstitious stuff in our legends." Right. According to our legends, the Cullens were _cold ones_, vampires. Not that I believed in that. Of course they were ultra-weird, but this was real life, not some horror movie. „Anyway, suddenly Bella asked me whether I wanted to take a walk with her on the beach" - I made a grimace that clearly stated that I wasn't pleased - „and she asked me whether I was sixteen. She really believed I was sixteen!" I groaned, but smiled at my grinning friend. So Isabella had tried to flirt with my Jacob. There was no way one could believe Jake was sixteen – she just had flattered him because... well, because of what? I started to become interested in the story, although it made me more than angry that she had so successfully tried to flirt with Jake. „Go on", I said. Jacob beamed even more. „Yeah, she looked really surprised when I told her I was fifteen." I bet she did. Stupid Isabella. „And then she asked whether I came up to Forks much, which I denied, but she looked like she was hoping I was coming up a lot more often! I think she likes me!" In my opinion, she had used him for something, although I wasn't too sure for what. „She then asked me about Sam, asking what he was doing there, since he seemed a little bit old for us." I groaned again. Isabella really had said 'us'. Bad sign, really bad sign. As far as I could remember, she was just a year younger than me, meaning she was two years older than Jacob, meaning she had identified herself with Jake's peer group on purpose. Aww, how I hated her! Dumb, dumb Isabella! No, I certainly wasn't going to like her. She might have fooled Jacob, but she couldn't fool me. I knew too much about flirting with guys. „So anyway, I told her the Cullens weren't supposed to come to the reservation." Big understatement. If the Cullens came to the rez, there would be war. Literally. Not because we younger ones believed in the legends – they were nice to listen to, but they were just myths. I didn't know how the Cullens had come to play a role in our tribal stories. Maybe Dr. Cullen had pissed somebody off. Dad or Billy or Old Quil, someone from the council. „Bella seemed very curious, and so I told her the story."

I stared at him. „You _what_?" „I told her the story why the Cullens aren't allowed to visit the rez." I sighed. „Jacob! You do know that it's forbidden, remember?" He shrugged. „Bella won't tell anyone!" I rolled my eyes. „Whatever! How could you! This is unbelievable! What if she tells the Chief?" Jake still grinned. „I told her not to tell Charlie. You know how mad he is that some of our tribe don't go to the hospital anymore." I nodded. „Pretty mad." Jacob smiled and got himself another glass of water. „So after that I was worried that she might think we're all just a bunch of superstitious natives, but fortunately she denied that. And she said I should come visit her some day! And she does not go out with Mike Newton!" I snorted. „If she did, I'd advise you to get her a shrink." Jacob still beamed at me. „After that she smiled at me a lot – I think she likes me!"

My heart stopped at his tone. He sounded excited – way too excited. „And – and do you like her?", I asked carefully. Jacob thought for a moment. „I – I think so. It was really nice to see her again, and I feel like I can trust her." A wave of anger washed over me, but I stayed calm and smiled at him. And then Jacob erupted. „She is so beautiful, Leah! She has beautiful chocolate brown eyes – I've never seen such brown eyes before! You really should see her, Lee – you would be stunned! And her hair is brown, too, with waves in it, and it falls really nicely. And she has really pale skin-" That did it. „Oh yeah? Does she?", I said in a very unfriendly tone that made Jake stare at me. „Are you OK?" He looked very confused. I took a deep breath. „Yeah, totally fine." My voice was thick with irony. „Leah", Jacob said cautiously, and then a little smile crept up his face, „You're not jealous, are you?" I jumped up. „Jealous? Me? Of what? Of whom? Do I have a reason to be jealous?" I breathed hard. „Tell me, Jacob, do I have a reason to be jealous?" Now Jacob stood up, too. „Jeez, Leah, calm down, honey! You're my best friend, so stop worrying about things like that!"

I sighed and sat down again. „I don't like her, Jacob. I have never liked her, and I never will." „But she's really -" „No! I don't care what you think! I just don't like her, OK? Gosh, this drives me insane!" „What?" „You falling in love with a pale-face!" „I'm not-" „Can it, Jacob. I'm glad you had a nice day. Seriously. But don't make me like her. 'Cause I won't. And you shouldn't have told her our legends."

We were silent for a while, and I could see that Jake was hurt. Maybe I had been too harsh. Especially for a best friend. I should have been happy for him that someone was flirting with him. But I couldn't. I loved Jacob, and certainly not only as a best friend.

And if there was one thing I was great at, it was being jealous.

„I think I'm gonna go home now", Jacob said in a small voice. I looked at him. He looked very sad. But I didn't want to apologize. Not today. I felt hurt, too. For two weeks, I had believed that he loved me more than just as a friend, too. He had to apologize. Yeah. It was his fault I was angry. And he had to make it right, not I.

„Yeah, do that. I'll take you to the door." We walked in silence to the entrance door. Jacob gave me a little stiff hug and kissed my cheek ever so lightly.

„See you at school, Lee-Lee", he said with a sad voice. „Yeah, see you there."

I was about to close the door when Jacob turned round. „You know I love you, do you, Lee? You're my best friend, and no Bella could change that." I smiled my sad smile. „Love you too, Jakey." Jacob looked relieved, and I felt relieved, too, when I closed the door.

Still. I was angry. He wasn't supposed to flirt with her. I was pretty sure if they were going to see each other more often, he would fall in love with her.

Alright, if he could do that, well, I could, too.

Bitchy Leah was on her way back.

I took out my cell phone and dialed a number.

„Leah?", a delighted voice answered. „Hey, Alex!", I sounded convincingly happy, „How are you?" „I'm great, and you?" „Just fine", I had to smile. Now _that _would piss off Jake. „See, I wanted to know whether you want to meet me in Port Angeles. You know, drink something, talk..." His voice sounded excited. „Like a date?" I grinned. „Yeah, Al, exactly like a date." „Sure! Next Staurday?" „Perfect", I purred, „Just text me the time and the place, okay?" „I will, Leah! Great, see you then!" „Yeah", I grinned, „See you! Bye!" „Bye!" He hung up, and I smiled triumphantly. Revenge was sweet. If Jacob could flirt with a pale-faced Alright-I-do-what-you-want-goody-goody-girl called Isabella Swan, then I could definitely go out with one Makah Indian called Alex Scott.

Hell yeah, I could.


	16. Thank Dad I Have A Cheat Call Function

**I don't own Twilight. **

Thank Dad I Have A Cheat Call Function

The next Saturday, I was rummaging through my clothes again. Nothing, as usual. Finally I found a green tank top and a black jacket with a zipper. I also finally found my favorite pair of jeans, which made me happy. As for the shoes, I chose my black trainers. And when I was done with my hair and make-up, I looked OK.

I had told Jacob about my date, and he hadn't looked pleased, just as I had thought. Well, it was his fault, since he had been flirting with Isabella. If he wanted to go out with me, he just had to ask. It really was that easy.

Unfortunately Jacob had been a lot more nicer than I was. He had said: „Great! Have fun, will you? You have to tell me everything, I'll call you Saturday evening." I had nodded gloomily. Why couldn't he be unhappy and angry, like me?

I started to feel very bad that I had behaved that way last weekend. Maybe I should apologize – but no. The date was going to be fine, and I would stop falling in love with a child.

Alex had written he wanted to meet at 5 o'clock at the restaurant _Bella Italia _in Port Angeles. But when I wanted to leave, my brother didn't let me.

„Lee, what if it's a disaster?", he asked. „What?" I stared at him. „Why should it be a disaster?" Seth shrugged. „I don't know! Sometimes dates are a disaster, you know. What do you do if he is boring?" I raised an eyebrow. „He won't! Stop talking about that, Seth! You're making me nervous!" Seth groaned. „Let me at least record you something for the cheat call." I sighed, but handed him my cell. „If you insist." He grinned happily and then recorded a very authentic call for help. According to the call, Seth was stuck at the supermarket in Forks and couldn't reach Mom or Dad, so I simply had to come and get him. My brother even faked crying. It was fun to listen to it, but I was pretty sure I didn't have to use it. Alex had been very nice at Jake's birthday, and while texting messages he had been very cool, too. So everything was going to be fine.

I finally was able to get away from Seth – who was glad that I left because Abby was going to visit him – and I drove to Port Angeles as fast as I could.

Alex already waited in front of the restaurant. We gave ech other a small hug, and I said: „Sorry, my brother wouldn't let me leave." Alex grinned. „Don't worry. I'm glad you came. Let's go inside." He opened the door and walked in, almost slamming it into my face. I was a little startled. Hadn't he heard about 'Ladies first'? I grinned. Here I was, already trying to find something to be pissed about. Alex was great. Not all men had to follow gentleman rules. Maybe I was done with gentlemen. Yeah, rude boys were a lot better. A lot better.

I followed him inside, and we sat down at a table close to the windows. A waiter came and asked what we wanted to drink. I ordered a coke, Alex decided for a coffee. I didn't like coffee much. Latte Macchiato was okay, but everything else tasted bitter, in my opinion.

Oh for Christ's sake, here I went again. If he liked coffee, no problem! What was wrong with me? I wanted to enjoy the date. I hadn't really had one in a long time. Sure, I had met with Jake, but that hadn't been dating. Had it?

Wow, that was getting even better. Half a minute with Alex, and I was already thinking about Jacob. This was getting really annoying. What a stupid girl I was. Never satisfied. I really should stop that.

I took a look at the menu and thought about what to order. After checking my purse, I decided for spaghetti with meat balls – again. Alex went for some other pasta that I didn't know. Torte-something. I wasn't good at remembering foreign food names.

Our drinks came, and Alex smiled at me. „So, how are you, Leah?" „Great! And you?" „Well, I'm okay. I'm glad you asked me out for today. I was a little sick last week, and then my car broke." „Oh", I said. „Yeah, but fortunately I have been able to repair it. It had nothing to do with the motor, thank God. Well, and while I was repairing it, I also discovered that the brakes were broken, too. Imagine if I hadn't discovered that! I probably would have had a horrible accident. You always have to make sure your brakes work, you know?"

I stared at Alex, my left eye twitching. I finally was able to pull my lips into a smile, which Alex interpreted as encouraging to tell more. I just continued staring at him. Was that even possible? How could anyone be so absorbed by cars? I hadn't even asked for his stories, and here he just told me all the boring stuff about cars that didn't interest me at all. I mean, I liked big cars, yes, and when I helped Jake building his Volkswagen, I learned a lot, and I liked it, but I certainly didn't want to talk about that now. We were on a date, for crying out – oh, well, whatever. It was certainly going to get better. It just had to. I did not drive up to Port Angeles so I could listen to a car-obsessed, un-gentleman-like teenager. I'd rather spend the night with Jake. He liked cars, too, but he didn't need to talk about them.

„Have you seen my car at Jake's birthday?", Alex asked when our food arrived. I nodded. „The Volkswagen that stood outside, right?" Alex beamed, happy that I remembered _his car_. Some boys were just really weird. Jacob was never that obsessed with cars. Sure, he got really obsessed when he had a project, but it wasn't that he had to talk about it all the time!

Great. The same thought in just five minutes. Maybe this date had been a bad idea.

„Yeah, it's a Golf Classic, one from the first. It's similar to Jake's rabbit. It's a five-door-car, which I find really convenient. Don't you think a three-door-car is kind of uncomfortable, too?" I sighed silently, but at least I knew what a five-door-car or a three-door-car was. „I don't really care as long as I don't have to sit in the back", I answered and smiled at him before I turned back to my spaghetti. I wasn't really hungry anymore – somehow all the talk about cars had killed my appetite. I just poked through my pasta, occasionally picking up a meat ball, eyeing it with interest before putting it back. „My first car was a three-door one, but it broke after six months, and then I got my Volkswagen. I just love it! What car do you drive, by the way?" „A Ford Fiesta from 1980. And before you ask, it's a three-door-car, and yes, I hated it when I was little." He grinned, obviously thinking that I was very interested in this subject. „What color?" „Black." Like Jake's surname. I slapped my subconsciousness for thinking about Jake _again_. This was a date with Alex. I wasn't supposed to think about my best friend now. „Mine's black, too. But I'd like to paint it bright green one day. What do you think?", he asked for my approbation again. „I don't know. You see, I think we already have enough green here. I'd rather paint it-" „Pink?", Alex asked, grinning. I almost choked on my coke. Pink? Why the heck did he think I'd advise him to paint his car pink? I hated pink! Well, not really hated it. But I would never paint anything pink! „Haha", I faked my laugh. Alex laughed very loudly. „No", I finally managed to break in on his laughter, „I'd paint it blue, Alex, blue." „Oh", he stopped grinning, „Blue's nice, too." I sighed again and ordered another coke, trying not to roll my eyes.

Unfortunately I had to roll my eyes only seconds later because now Alex went on with tuning. „My car has 98 PS, but that's not enough. I could tune it, but that's kinda expensive. On the other hand a fast car would be a lot cooler. At least I know the ladies like it!" He winked at me. „Unfortunately my car isn't a big expensive one. I'd like to drive a Maserati GranTurismo or – even better – a Lamborghini Gallardo." Alex's voice suddenly sounded full of awe. I probably looked confused. I felt confused, too. Of course I knew the names Maserati and Lamborghini, as I knew most of the more famous car brands. But I simply had no idea what a Maserati GrandTourism or whatever the name was looked like. From his voice I could conclude that both cars were pretty cool, probably very fast. I knew that both brands were very expensive. Like, very, very expensive. Like unaffordable for normal people.

To hide my ignorance of cars, I just nodded and smiled. In my opinion, that was the secret recipe to success – smiling and nodding. It worked with Alex. He felt encouraged to continue his monologue that did not interest me at all.

„Of course my biggest dream is a Bugatti, but, let's face it, I'd have to be a billionaire to be able to afford one." He laughed and shook his black hair. I laughed, too. To me, it sounded faked, but to him, it seemed to sound perfectly fine because he looked happy that I was laughing.

My hand was already jerking into the direction of my cell phone, but I gave my subconsciousness another hard slap. The date could be worse. He could be mean or cruel or unfriendly. He could be a nerd with a chess computer and huge glasses. He could be a crazy car freak who wasn't interested in me and my hobbies.

Oh wait. The last one was actually true. He _was _a crazy car freak who wasn't interested in me. Not cool. NOT cool at all!

I wondered what had happened. At Jake's birthday Alex had been interested in my hobbies. I had told him I liked watching movies, writing, getting on people's nerves, cooking and baking and hiking. We had had a serious conversation about tourists and their prejudices, and he had stated that he liked hiking, too. Why didn't we continue there? Why did we have to talk only about his obsession? Jacob talked with me about cars, too, advised me when I wanted to help him, but he always asked about my notebook, too, about stories that I invented, about my feelings about Sam, school, religion, the world. I was interested in Jake, and Jake was interested in me.

The more I thought about this, the more I thought that we really fitted together. I mean Jacob and I, not that jerk on the other side of the table. Jacob was my best friend, but Jacob was the one I wanted to love as well.

Yeah, that's right. I _wanted_ to love him. But it was hard to fall in love with someone when someone else still had your heart and fiercly kept hold of it.

Translation: It was hard to fall in love with Jake when I still loved Sam.

I tried to focus on Alex again. I was pretty good at finding a distraction from unpleasant things, but I wasn't rude. I decided to try to distract him from cars. „Don't you think we have an absolutely beautiful place to hike? All these woods around here, and then those great beaches that even tourists-"

Suddenly Alex made a funny shrieking noise and then almost puked the words: „OH MY GOD!" I stared at him in shock. „What happened?", I asked, a little alarmed. Alex just stared out of the window with huge eyes. „It's a Mercedes SLK 55 AMG Black Series! 400 PS, acceleration from 0-62mph in 4.9 seconds, finest nappa leather interior, 19-inch light alloy wheels and a CRP hardtop! This is an awesome car!" My left eye started twitching again. Technical details were a nightmare for me. I had no idea what an alloy wheel was, or CRP. I didn't even know how fast 400 PS were. Horrified, I turned round to face the car that had given my bad date almost a heart attack, and almost had one myself.

Sure, the car looked nice. But that wasn't the shocking part. The shocking part was that I knew this car. Actually, I even had sat in it.

It was Jasper Hale's car. Meaning the little weirdo was somewhere close. Meaning that if I used the cheat call function now, I just might run into the strange-smelling blond. Meaning that I would have to talk to him.

I now had to decide: annoying Jasper Hale or boring Alex Scott?

Jasper or Alex?

Jasper, or Alex?

Small talk, or car obsession?

Very carefully, I pressed the button that triggered the cheat call.

Jasper The Freak had won.

Five seconds later, my cell started to ring. I answered the call totally indifferent, listening calmly to my brother's (fake) problem and then said: „Fine, Seth. But you owe me for that." I hung up and pulled Alex out of his dream. „Alex, I'm sorry, but I need to get my brother. He's in Forks, and he can't reach Mom or Dad, and somebody needs to get him. Maybe we can meet some other day again?" Alex looked a little disappointed, but smiled. „Sure, Leah. You're a nice sister. Say hi to Jake, will you?" I nodded and put my jacket back on. Alex had already turned back to the car. I paid for the pasta and the two cokes and left the restaurant, pissed that this date hadn't been as good as I had wanted it to be.

I had made about two steps when I suddenly collided with a rock-hard chest. I looked up, and to my great horror I recognized the pale face of Jasper Hale smiling down at me. „Good day, Ma'am", he said with his melodic voice, „How are you today?" I let slip a small growl before I answered: „I'm okay, thanks for asking." I tried to figure out whether I should have stayed with Alex. „You do not sound okay, if you allow me to say that." I sighed. Well, why not? Couldn't get any worse, anyway. „Disaster date", I simply stated. Jasper made a shocked face. „Oh my! The bastard did not hurt you, did he?" I stared at the blond boy for a second. „No! He just talked an awful lot about cars and then almost got a heart attack when he saw your freaking Mercedes something." „SLK 55 AMG. Why has it been a disaster date, then?" I almost freaked. „Because I don't know a damn thing about cars and I don't want to hear about Bugattis all day long!" „That's understandable", Jasper said smilingly. His smile pissed me off. „Yes it is!", I growled, wondering again whether using the cheat call function had been a good idea. „And how did you escape?", Jasper asked. I grinned. „My cell phone has a cheat call function." „A what?" He looked clueless. „A cheat call function. You press a button, then the cell calls itself and you can fake an emergency call and flee from the scene." „Your date must have been horrible if you were forced to use this... function." I nodded. „You have no idea." Jasper still smiled. „You amuse me, Leah Clearwater. Did you date this best friend of yours?" I shook my head and looked back through the restaurant door where I could still see Alex admiring Jasper's car. The Cullens must have an awful lot of money. I didn't like the idea of talking to a rich kid. But then it was entirely my fault. I had decided I'd rather talk to a rich brat than to a car-obsessed mega-freak. „No, but one of his friends." Dating Alex hadn't been a good idea. Not at all. I had liked him before, but he had proven that he was more self-absorbed than anyone else I knew. It pissed me off to think that my brilliant plan of how to make Jake jealous hadn't worked. I would have to tell him that it had been a complete disaster, which would either make him feel unhappy for me, but happy for him, or leave him totally indifferent. „You should stop worrying, Leah", Jasper broke through my stream of thoughts, „It makes that beautiful forehead of yours wrinkly." I shot him an evil glare, but he just laughed. „My apologies, that was not very nice, was it?"

„No, Jazz, it certainly wasn't!", a high soprano voice said from behind him. I saw his face lighten up as he turned round to embrace the small black-haired Cullen girl. It somehow made me sad, seeing that. He was looking at his girlfriend with the same deep love Sam always had in his eyes when looking at Emily. The kind of love that never had been between us. Exactly the kind of love that made my heart twist again.

With wide eyes I realized that breathing became much too difficult again. I suddenly had exactly the same feeling I had had on Valentine's Day. The one where I felt alone, completely alone and unloved. My mind knew I wasn't unloved, but my heart felt differently. I started panting for air, and abruptly Jasper turned round, away from his girlfriend, and gave me a very concerned look. All of the sudden, I felt better. My breathing normalized again, and my heart untwisted, leaving me with the huge question of why I had had this horrible feeling twice in about a month. „Is everything alright?", he asked, still looking worried. I just nodded. The black-haired girl smiled at me, but her eyes looked worried, too. Jeez. What was there to worry about? Nothing. „Jazz, would you introduce us, please?", the girl asked, looking at him with big golden eyes. They were kind of strange, these eyes. Like way too golden. I had never seen a color like this before. Hm. Maybe she had contacts.

Jasper gave me another concerned look, then he pointed at the girl. „Leah, that is Alice Cullen, my shopping-loving girlfriend. Alice, this is Leah Clearwater, a Quileute Indian." The girl, Alice, beamed at me. „Nice to finally meet you, Leah! Jasper told me you helped him with my Christmas present, so thank you! I loved it." I felt a little weird. Alice was nice – kind of. Way too friendly, especially since we had just met. „Yeah, nice to meet you, too", I finally managed to say. I had to work on my manners, I thought. I was too impolite. I couldn't sound unfriendly to every stranger I met. But Alice just smiled at me. „So, you're from the reservation?" I nodded. „Yes." „And do you like living there?" What kind of question was that? I had no choice but living in the reservation, like it or not. „Do you like living in Forks?", I asked in return. Jasper chuckled and laid an arm around Alice's shoulder. „I do!", she smiled, „Jazz not really." Jasper looked indignant. „That is not true, my tiny beloved Alice, and you know that." Alice winked at me. „He's lying. He hates the rain." Jasper shook his head, but smiled and kissed Alice on the cheek. I looked away. Even this small gesture of love was unbearable for me.

I longed for love. I just wasn't so sure for whose love I longed more.

„Anyway, we were just on our way home", Alice started, and it was only now that I saw the bags in her hand. What had Jasper said? Shopping-loving. Well, if one had the money.

Suddenly my stomach growled very very loudly. I looked a little guilty, but Alice let out a high laughter, and Jasper chuckled. „Were or were you not just coming out of a restaurant, Leah?", he asked, grinning at me. I struck my tongue at him. „I couldn't eat. I tried not to puke at Alex's monologue about cars." I looked at Alice, who just had made a face as if an idea had struck her. „Jazz, honey, I'm going home. You can go and eat something with Leah. I don't want her to faint on her way back. She can drop you off at our house." Jasper looked just as alarmed as I did. „Are you sure this is a good idea?", he said with his lips tightened. Alice nodded. „It's gonna be fine." She looked at him reassuringly, but he wasn't convinced. But after thirty seconds of looking into her eyes, he nodded. „Fine. If Leah agrees, that is." Both looked at me. I thought about whether Alex would come across my car if I stayed a little longer in Port Angeles. But I had parked my Ford far away from the restaurant. And if Alice drove off with the Mercedes, Alex had nothing to stare at, so he would probably go home.

Now the only problem left was: Did I really want to go and eat something with _Jasper Hale_? I mean, in the reservation, we hated the Cullens. But, technically, he wasn't a Cullen. And I was the last person to linger on prejudices. Everyone deserved a chance, and Jasper seemed nice. Nicer than Alex, and after that disaster date, nothing worse could happen. „Okay", I smiled a small smile, „But we can't go in there", I pointed at the restaurant, „He thinks I drove back to Forks to get my little brother. Besides, I don't have enough money left to eat there again." Jasper smiled. „Let me say good-bye to my girlfriend, and then I have an offer for you." I nodded and turned away, not wanting to see them kiss. But apparently, he just pressed her hand and then let her go. I watched the tiny girl dance to the car, get in and then speed away.

Jasper turned towards me. „I agree with you. We should certainly not eat at this restaurant. Your boyfriend would find it strange to see you coming back with another man." „He's not my boyfriend", I growled, and Jasper chuckled. „Your date, then. Anyway, I think I have seen a fast food restaurant not far from here." „You want to go to McDonald's?", I asked surprised. I had to think back, remembering the day we'd met at the supermarket where he'd told me that he couldn't cook. Jasper nodded. „Unless you have another idea?" I didn't, and so we walked to McDonald's, carefully avoiding the windows of _Bella Italia_. „By the way, I will pay", Jasper suddenly said. I stopped walking. „Are you kidding me? I am completely capable of buying me a burger!" He nodded. „I know that, Ma'am. But I am sure that one burger won't make you full." „I don't know what kind of impression you have of me, but I'm not poor. I could buy 10 burgers if I wanted to." Okay, that was exaggerated. But I didn't need 10 burgers, anyway. Jasper smiled. „I know, Leah. I was only joking. Please, let me pay for you. It just does not feel right to let you spend your money on something as simple as food." I stared at him. „Well, okay. If you insist. Don't complain afterwards", I warned him, with raised pointer finger. He just shook his head, and we continued walking.

„So, you don't like the rain?", I tried to start a conversation. Jasper sighed. „I do like it, just not all the time." „May I guess then that you're from a sunnier part of the country?" Jasper chuckled. „Hit the nail on the head, you did." „So, where are you from? Where did you live before you moved to Forks?" Now he stopped walking. „You are one curious woman, Miss Clearwater. Any more questions you'd like to ask?" I looked annoyed and continued my way. „_Tons _of questions. You don't get to meet a rich pale-face every day at the rez, you know?" „We're not 'at the rez'", he just said, making me almost hit his shoulder. Fortunately I was able to keep myself from doing so. I couldn't just hit people, especially not people that I didn't know. „You're very tight-lipped, you know that?" He nodded, and then opened the door of the McDonald's restaurant to let me in. That annoyed me even more. Why did he have to be a gentleman? Alex hadn't even invited me, and now Hale-boy did so without being my date. Everything was just _wrong _today.

„After you, Ma'am", Jasper smiled, and I entered the restaurant. He was at my side immediately. „What do you want to eat?" Taken by surprise again, I stared at him. „I already told you, I can pay for myself." „No, Miss Clearwater, you've already told me that you accept my offer. So what do you want to eat?" I sighed in defeat. „Chicken burger." „How many?" „I don't know! I feel horrible to let you pay for me!", I snapped. He chuckled. „Don't worry about that, Leah. How many?" „Four", I said quietly, „and a large coke." Jasper smiled and bowed a little. „You see? That wasn't so hard. Sit down, I'll get the food for you."

Defeated, I went around the restaurant to find a seat. It wasn't too hard – there weren't so many people in Port Angeles today.

Minutes later, Jasper joined me and pushed the tray of food toward me. I gave him a little thank-you smile and began wolfing down the burgers. My stomach celebrated a feast of joy. I was so hungry, and right now there was nothing better than those burgers. When I had eaten two of them, I suddenly realized Jasper wasn't eating anything.

„You're not hungry?", I asked. Jasper nodded. „I – I already ate in Seattle." „Oh. Okay." I continued eating the third burger, eyeing Jasper suspiciously. He smiled at me. „Do you think four burgers are enough, my dear?" Startled, I looked at him. Had he just called me 'my dear'? Thinking, I looked at the remaining burger. „No", I said sadly. Immediately Jasper jumped up and disappeared, only to return two minutes later with three more chicken burgers that he carefully placed on my tray. „Thank you", I said in a small voice. „You are most welcome", he said smilingly, „I really do not want you to starve."

I ate two more burgers and started to feel like I was being stuffed on purpose here, so I stopped eating and turned to Jasper to ask a few more annoying Leah-questions: „You haven't answered my questions, Mr Burger-Buyer. Where are you from, and where did you live before you moved to Forks?" Jasper stared at me for a second. „You just have to know, am I right?" I didn't answer so he wouldn't change the subject. He sighed. „I can't really remember. My parents died when my sister and I were very little. I think it might be one of the southern states, because I love the sun", at this comment he had a bitter look on his face, „but the memory is very dizzy. After our parents' deaths, Rosalie and I stayed with different families. Some were nice, some were not so nice", he made a funny face at which I had to laugh, „and then we came to Carlisle and Esme. They _are _my parents, so to speak. Before we moved to Forks, we lived in Alaska." „Alaska?", I stared at him in shock, „Wow! What's it like there?" „It's... cold", Jasper answered, grinning. I moaned. „Smart-ass, are you?" He beamed. „At least I'm not asking tons of questions." „I haven't asked tons yet. But I will!" Menacingly, I grinned at him. „Is that a challenge, Miss Clearwater?" „Maybe, Mr Hale!"

He sort of flinched at me calling his name, but then smiled again. „Continue, then, please."

I took a deep breath. „Who is your sister? Why are you going out with your adopted sister? Isn't that, like, weird? Why are we talking to each other? I mean, you know the Quileute can't stand the Cullens. So why are you inviting me? Do you go to Forks High? Sure you do, stupid question. Do you know Isabella Swan?" Jasper stiffened, and I stopped my questionnaire. His lips twitched, and then he answered: „My sister is the blond girl, Rosalie. No, it is not weird to date my adopted sister. We do not feel like siblings that much, Alice and I. We are just in love. I am talking to you because, strangely and to my amazement, I like you. I am inviting you because where I am from, it is customary for a gentleman to invite the lady for dinner. As you have pointed out, yes, I go to Forks High, and yes, I do know Isabella Swan because she is currently dating my brother Edward."

I almost choked on my coke.

„Isabella Swan is doing what?" Jasper looked confused. „She is dating my brother, Edward Cullen. Why is this interesting for you?" But I didn't listen anymore. So _Bella _was going out with one of the Cullens. YEEEEEEHAAAAA! My date might have been the worst disaster date on the planet (well, I was exaggerating. It could have been worse. I just didn't like it when people were talking about themselves all the time), but at least I had _something _to tell Jake.

Something that he wouldn't like.

Something that he wouldn't like _at all_.

Jasper pulled me back from my happy thoughts. „Leah, are you okay?", he asked. I nodded. „Yeah, just daydreaming." „Are you tired?" „No, not really. Why?" „Because you've said you were dreaming." „Daydreaming, Jasper, is something completely different. What do you do for fun?" He looked amused. „Well, I like hiking, playing the guitar, and psychology. I do not know whether you would say that this is fun", he winked at me, „And I'm interested in history, especially in the Civil War." I yawned, not only because I thought most of the time that history was boring, but also because I was starting to feel tired. Jake and I had talked to each other until early in the morning, and the disaster date had exhausted me, as well. It was also tiring to talk to a person whom I started to like but whom I shouldn't like. I really started to like Jasper. He was nice, a little bit mysterious and friendly to me, although I had shown him often enough that I did not really like him much. That had changed today. Jasper Hale, although rich, a Cullen, and awfully weird, was starting to become kind of likeable. And it made me tired to change my mind about people.

Jasper laughed. „You do not find history very interesting, do you?" I nodded, but then I shook my head. „I don't like history taught at school. I like it – as long as it somehow concerns me or my friends. When I see a connection, I love history." „I can understand that. It's the same with me. I like the Civil War because I – because I found out that one of my ancestors actually was a major for the Confederate Army." That somehow raised my interest. „Really? That's cool! I wish my ancestors were that cool." Jasper chuckled. „Don't you Quileute have a very interesting tribal history? I always thought it must be special to be a native." I made a grimace. „Nah, it's not so special. We're not different from pale-faces. We're not those nature-connected spiritual superstitious folks people believe us to be. We're normal." Jasper raised an eyebrow. „Are you? I find you rather special, I must say." I threw a wrapping paper at him. „And you're talking weird." He laughed. „Okay then, my little aggressive Indian, let's go home, okay?"

I nodded, yawning again, and Jasper smiled. „Don't fall asleep on our way back home", he grinned. I barely raised the corners of my mouth. „You're gonna hate my car", I stated, ignoring his comment. Jasper, who was about to get up, looked at me. „Why would I hate it? I've seen it before, it's nice." „Nice", I groaned, „You say it's nice, I say 'nice' is your code for 'too small, too cheap, too slow'." Jasper chuckled. „Let's go, Leah. You look awfully tired. Maybe you should go straight to sleep at home." I nodded. I really was feeling tired. This stupid day had exhausted me, and all I was looking forward to now was my bed. I had almost forgotten about Alex's obsessive monologue.

We walked to my car, where Jasper took the driver's seat. „Why are you driving?", I complained. „So you can relax", he answered and took the key out of my hand. „Hey!", I said, but somehow I knew that it was pointless to argue. Frustrated, I took the seat next to him. „Don't push my baby too hard!", I warned him. Jasper just smiled and turned on the radio. Linkin Park was playing, and he looked as if he liked it. He really was a strange guy.

We didn't talk much on our way back to Forks. But when we were half-way from the Cullen house, he suddenly asked:"And with what do you spend your leisure time?" I had to translate the question in my head before I answered. Why couldn't he just ask me about my hobbies? „Watching movies, writing, getting on people's nerves, cooking, baking and hiking", I answered. He chuckled. „Getting on people's nerves, really?" „Sure", I smiled, „That's not so easy." „I bet", he said, „and I bet if there were any Olympic games for getting on people's nerves, you'd win the gold medal." I didn't answer immediately. „So you don't like me", I said, hoping not to sound too sad. „I already told you that I do like you, much to my own amazement. Actually, I find you rather charming, especially when you try to get on my – or somebody else's – nerves. I am glad I wasn't this poor guy who you tricked with this strange function of your cell phone. On the other hand, if I had been your date, I would have behaved differently. This date of yours didn't know much about manners." „And you do?", I asked, a little curious. Jasper smiled. „I would say so, yes." „Hm", I just said, and Jasper laughed. „You don't believe me?" „Sure I do! I just think you've got too much of them. Be careful no one uses you – or your money – because of your kindness." His smile faded. „Don't you worry, Miss Clearwater, you are the only person outside my family whom I see as worthy enough to be treated kindly. Besides, no one would dare to use me." At this, he looked at me and grinned. „Almost there. I hope you can find your way home?" I growled, which he took as a „yes".

We stopped in front of the big white colonial-style villa just outside the town where the Cullens lived. „This is a really big house", I stated, making Jasper chuckle again. „Maybe one day, you can come in, too", he smiled, „Anyway, it was nice to see you again. And you're right, your car is too slow. But if it was faster, I would love it." He winked at me. „See you, Leah." I nodded. „Say hi to your girlfriend." „I will." He wanted to get out, but before he could open the door, I blurted out a question that had bothered me all the way back home: „Jasper, in front of _Bella Italia_ you asked whether my date hurt me." He nodded. „What would you have done if he had?" Jasper's golden eyes suddenly flashed. „If he had hurt you, I would have killed him", he said in a dead serious tone that frightened me. But before I could say anything, he had dropped a piece of paper in my lap, gotten out of my car, made a salute and had disappeared into the big white Cullen house.

I looked at the piece of paper. It was a row of numbers.

Jasper's cell phone number.

**Yeah, so that was the date. I hope none of you has to experience a disaster date, that can really bring one down. **

**And don't worry! This is still a Blackwater fan-fiction. **

**Thank you for sticking to Leah and for not giving up although the for us probably more interesting chapters are yet to come. **

**If any of you has a good idea of what could happen to my favorite Quileute friends, feel free to propose them to me. If I find them fitting enough for my story, I will try to include them.**

**I wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day!**

**Hope that those of you who have someone can spend a beautiful day with him/her. And to those of you who are alone today: We just have to wait. There ****will**** be someone who is the right person for us. Promise.**


	17. A Great Honor

A Great Honor

Sunday morning, the day after the terrible date with the car-obsessed freak Alex, Jake called me to ask how the date had been. Somehow his call really made me angry – I felt as if he wanted to make fun of me because the date had been such a disaster. I growled a lot while talking, which made Jacob laughing.

„So you really used your cheat call function?", he asked excited. „Yes", I confirmed gloomily. I hated to admit that dating Alex had been a mistake. I should have gone out with Jake. More fun, less technical details. I still didn't know what alloy wheels were.

„That's just awesome!", Jacob sounded more than happy, „I knew you shouldn't have dated him. You're too good for him." The last part was said in a very serious tone. Jake was awfully cute sometimes. „Whatever you say, oh bestest friend", I answered, now grinning at my reflection in the small golden mirror that stood on my nightstand. I could almost see Jake brighten up at my comment. „So, did you just leave, then?", Jacob asked after a short silence. „Hmpf." The funny noise I had made was the only sound Jake heard from me for the next two minutes. I wished that I had just left. But Fate – or some other fucked-up power – had decided that I had to bump into the very handsome, very annoying and very mysterious Jasper Hale who (un)fortunately had introduced me to his even weirder girlfriend. Her name was Alice, I had learned, and I had thought that she was kind of like a pixie, or a fairy. Apparently they had been shopping in Seattle, but that didn't explain why something had decided that we had to meet.

The worst thing about these two weirdos had been that a) I had been pretty hungry because I had not been able to eat my spaghetti while listening to Alex's monologue and for some reason Jasper had found it funny to invite me to McDonald's, and b) freaky fairy Alice had announced that she would drive back to Forks on her own and that oh-I'm-so-sorry I simply had to take her pretty boyfriend home.

„Lee, are you still there?", Jake asked, pulling me away from my thoughts. „Yeah, sure. I've just been thinking. No, I didn't leave. I met Jas- one of the Cullens outside, and we sort of had a conversation." Talking with Jasper couldn't be called 'talking'. It really was 'having a conversation'.

How strange. Usually, weird people became less weird once one got to know them, but Jasper was getting weirder every time I met him.

Jacob snorted. „Yeah? So what did you talk about?" He sounded pissed all at once. I shrugged. „Nothing important. But he let something slip about Isabella that might interest you." And BOOM, I had him. It was awful to know that right now, his heart started to beat faster and that he got excited over some white chick. Just great. „What did he tell you? What does he know? And why?" I sighed. „Jake, they go to the same school. Besides, it has something to do with Jasper's brother." „Who's Jasper?", Jacob interrupted me. I almost groaned. „Dr Cullen's adopted son. The Cullen I talked to yesterday." „I know!", Jacob growled, „I mean, which one of them is Jasper?" Right, I'd forgotten. Rez people didn't know the much about the Cullens. „The blond boy", I answered. „The one who always looks like he's in pain?" I had to think about that. Did Jasper look like he was in pain?

I couldn't recall that. „Might be. It's not Dr Cullen, and they have only one other blond guy." „Okay", Jacob said, „What did he say about Bella?" Urgh. _Bella_. Why did he have to use her nickname? Why couldn't he just call her Isabella? Isabella was a fine name, no need to use 'Bella'. I sighed. There was no way to evade the inevitable answer. „You probably won't like it." „What?", Jake said loudly, „She's dating Quil?" I snorted. „Your worst nightmare concerning Isabella is that she might go out with Quil?" „Yes", Jacob stated, but then he started to laugh, „Now tell me, what is it that I might not like?" I took a deep breath, not really convinced that this was the right choice.

Oh hell. Who cared?

„She's dating Edward Cullen."

It was dead silent.

„Jacob?" „What?" He sounded a little confused, but within a minute, he had caught himself. „Oh great." Now he sounded disappointed and a little angry. „I hate the Cullens. Isn't that Edward Jasper's brother?" „Yep." „Dr Cullen's family is stupid. Anyway, thanks for telling. Wouldn't have done any good to pursue a girl whom I don't really know anymore and who is already taken, right?" Right, right, RIGHT! I was back on the Jacob train, and if Isabella had found a boyfriend, she certainly wasn't interested in Jacob visiting her. He stayed mine, my Jacob, my second-biggest-jerk-in-history, my Indian In Black, my The-One-With-The-Good-Ideas.

Not Isabella's.

„But it's kinda weird that Cullen is going out with her, right? I mean, don't they stick to themselves?", Jacob asked after a while. I shrugged, although he couldn't see it. „I'd agree with you, Jake, but then Jasper talked to me... Maybe they try to find friends!" They must be, because Jasper had given me his cell number. I knew the Cullens usually kept to themselves, but it seemed they had decided to socialize a little more.

Thinking about that, it _was _weird.

I looked at the black clock that hung on my wall and made a little shriek. "Jeez! Jake, I have to go to work! Logan gets pissed if I'm late. Maybe you can visit me today! I suppose you don't have any chips left?" „Totally right", I could hear Jacob chuckle, „See you there, Lee-Lee. Love you!" „Love you, too", I smiled, „Bye!" „Bye", Jacob answered, still chuckling, and we hung up.

Work was funny today. Tourist season had started, meaning that occasionally, a tourist couple or a group of surfers turned up in our rez. Today, we had a group of six old people from Oregon who wanted to visit our beautiful beaches, and of course they mixed up one or two typical prejudices. One of them, an old man, had bought a dream catcher and had insisted that Logan should tell him something about Quileute history. Logan's hands were tied by tribal law of course, and we only got rid of them by telling them that James Island looked beautiful in the sunset and that many of our tribe's chiefs were buried there. When they had gone – finally! - Jacob arrived and bought three bags of chips as well as a colorful lollipop which he immediately handed me. „For the horrors of your disaster date", he grinned, and I threw a potato after him. Jacob laughed. „Gonna pick me up tomorrow morning, Clearwater?" I threw another potato after Jacob and chased him out of the store. „Sure!", I yelled before he disappeared in the direction of his home.

Monday was always the hardest day of the week. I hadn't really slept that night, for unknown reasons that still pissed me off.

The worst lesson was the first today. It was History, with Mr Cauldwell – whom we called Timothy during Quileute festivities – but once a week, it was tribe history and tribe politics. And although this might sound interesting, it certainly wasn't, especially not on Monday mornings with old fat Cauldwell.

„Today", he said with a heavy voice, „We are going to talk about historical tribe positions and those positions today." Jared and Kim looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Kayla ignored Cauldwell's monologue, and Jessica was the only one really paying attention.

„Does any of you have an idea about important tribal positions today?" Jared raised his arm. „Yes?", Mr Cauldwell nodded. „The chief, of course." Mr Cauldwell sighed. „Yes, but today it's called Chairman or Chairwoman. Any idea who our Chairman is? Kayla?" Kayla jumped when she heard her name. She'd done something else – I believed texting her Forks boyfriend. In addition, Kayla had never really shown any interest in Quileute history. In fact, she had always said that once done with school, she would move far away to a big city. To become a porn star in California, Embry had suggested while sitting at a lunch table two weeks ago.

„Nope", Kayla said, turning her attention back to her cell phone. It was pink, I realized now. How could we ever have been friends? Pink! Light pink, the most horrible color on the planet! „Jared?", Mr Cauldwell asked, because Jared had been about to fall asleep. „Billy Black, Jacob Black's father", he answered before yawning. Mr Cauldwell sighed relieved. „Any ideas about other positions?" Jessica answered without being asked: „Well, we have a Vice-Chairman and a treasurer, Vice-Chairman being old Quil Ateara and Treasurer being Harry Clearwater." Right, my father was treasurer. Not that he had a lot to do, but the council (made of Old Quil, Billy, Dad and -sigh- Sam) met quite often these days. I had never heard anyone call Dad Treasurer, though. Tribe stuff was weird and hard to understand.

„Does anyone know one of the old tribal positions?", Mr Cauldwell asked after a short silence in which a large number of students yawned and stretched. Nobody answered, and I felt a little sorry for Mr Cauldwell that none of us knew much about our tribe's history.

At least I had thought that everyone was just as interested in our own history as I was – meaning not much. But suddenly Jared's arm jerked up, and after Mr Cauldwell had given him a friendly nod, he began to jabber about council positions. „There were three important positions. The tribe's chief was the most important position and was also called Great Wolf. Then there was the tribe's medicine man or shaman, and the keeper of histories, or our tribe's storyteller. There also was a fourth, less important position, the one of the vice chief, also called Little Wolf."

Mr Cauldwell looked very pleased with Jared, and I bent over to him and whispered: „How do you know such stuff?" Jared grinned. „I asked Sam."

Great. So Sam suddenly knew about everything. When we'd been a couple, he hadn't been interested in tribal things at all. It made me angry that he now acted all we-have-to-save-our-traditions. „Excellent! And can you tell us a little more about these positions?" But Jared couldn't, and I prepared for one of Cauldwell's long monologues.

And of course he started: „Now, as Jared has already told us, the chief was once called Great Wolf, because according to our legends, we're the descendants of wolves. That is also the reason why the secondary chief was called Little Wolf. Little Wolf did not have to be a member of Great Wolf's family - most often, Little Wolf was one of the best warriors. Then of course there was the shaman, whom we have swapped with a doctor, fortunately. But in earlier Quileute times, the shamans were very important. They helped the tribe survive curses and diseases and led them through religious matters. As we are all converted Christians by now, we do not need shamans anymore, so they died out. The process of becoming a shaman was very complicated and difficult, but if one made it, one was respected by everyone.

And last, but not least, there was the keeper of histories, a person chosen by the former storyteller. One was chosen if one could invent and tell great stories, if one had a good memory and if one could work with words. Now, at meetings it was usually the chief who told the stories, but it was the storyteller who kept the histories alive and taught them to the tribe."

The bell rang, and we were all very relieved. We packed our things, and Mr Cauldwell told us to write a short text about the historical tribe positions.

Great. It was Monday morning, Fattie Cauldwell had us already given homework, and the next lesson was maths. Could the day become any worse?

Jake answered this when we met at lunch. „Guess what, Lee", he began while we were eating our chili, „Charlie Swan called Dad yesterday night. He was almost crying, said that Bella had run away. Apparently she broke up with Cullen and told Charlie that she hated Forks. I'm glad I didn't try to become close with her. That girl is a real weirdo." I stared at Jacob. „She just told her father she doesn't like Forks?" „Yeah, and that she's going back to Phoenix. In her truck! She'll need ages for that." „How can anyone be so cruel to their own father?" I couldn't imagine me running away from home. Not with Mom, Dad and Seth leaving there. They'd miss me too much, and they would worry more than I thought they deserved. I shook my head. „Strange girl. Hope she calls her father when she's arrived. I don't think much of her, but I don't think she could hurt Charlie that much."

We didn't talk about Isabella Swan for the rest of lunch break, but I had tio think about her. Running away from her dad without an apparently really good reason when she had liked it so far, that was extremely weird. I could smell something fishy.

At home, I went up into my room – our house was one of the few in La Push with two stories – and cleaned up my table to start doing homework there. When I had finished cleaning up, I looked around my room. Opposite to my door, at the large outer wall, stood my desk, an old brown table that once had belonged to Great-Grandpa Clearwater. Above my desk was a window that was hard to open. To the left of my desk were two large shelves filled with books and other things that belonged to me. On the inner wall, the one that separated my room from Seth's, stood my bed, made of dark brown wood. Next to my bed was my nightstand with the golden mirror, and above the nightstand was another, smaller window. On the same wall as my table, the one opposed to the bed, was the closet, a dark brown one, that once had belonged to Mom, before she'd married Dad. My walls were creamy white, and between the table and the cupboard hung a poster on the wall, of the Quileute Days 2000. I couldn't really remember why I had put it up. I think I had liked the colors and the pictures. The poster showed two wolves, one black, one white. I liked wolves. They were my favorite animals, although wolf howling out of the woods was something that could easily creep me out. Beneath that poster was a photo of Grandma Clearwater, the one with the apple pie recipe. She had died a while ago, and she had always been my favorite grandparent. At her house, there had always been cookies, and cakes, and pies, and Seth and I had usually come home stuffed.

I had started my homework when suddenly Dad knocked at my door. „Honey, can I talk to you for a second?" „Sure", I answered back, „Come in!"

Dad entered my room and closed the door. He was a man that looked rather old with his long grey hair and the wrinkles in his face, but then it was always hard to tell the age of an Indian. Dad was slightly fat, and he took medication for his heart. His cholesterol was a little too high, and Mom always tried to get him into eating salad. Dad hated everything green and everything else that belonged into a salad. He always said he wasn't a rabbit.

„What's up, Dad?", I asked, wondering what it was this time. Dad sat down on my bed and looked at me with his deep brown eyes.

„I would like to tell you a story."

The sincere voice made me curious. Dad never sounded so serious. „What kind of story?", I wanted to know. „Well", Dad took a deep breath, „First of all, it is important that this time, you really listen to it. I know that you used to ignore our tribal stories-" „I didn't ignore them, Dad! I just didn't really listen. I mean, I was occupied with different kind of things." He nodded grinning. „I know, honey. So, there are three important rules you have to agree to before you can hear the story."

This felt stranger every second. „Okay. What rules?" „First, you have to pay close attention to the story, no matter whether you think it's a myth or not. Second, you have to try and be able to remember the story as if it was your own invention, so that if someone asks you to tell it, you'll remember every detail. And third, as long as I live, never ever tell an outsider our stories as long as I have not agreed. Are you okay with that?"

I nodded, mystified. What was going on? What was Dad doing? „Excellent. Now pay close attention, because this is the story of the Quileute origin."

And with that comment, it hit me. He wanted me to be able to pass on our tribal stories, our histories. He was a member of the council. He was the tribe's keeper of histories, our storyteller.

He wanted me, his own daughter, to become the next storyteller.

When all _I _wanted was to leave La Push.

„I'm listening", I said, and felt strangely hollow.

„In the beginning, there were no men walking the earth. There were already ghosts and plants and animals, but men were missing. Now Changer was one of the great beings, and he wandered the world alone. His responsibility was to set things right, to keep things balanced when change was coming. One time, he came through this land here and saw that none of the animals that lived in this area had decided to take off their skin and live on this land as people, for animals could do that during that time.

Changer was sad to see that, for he thought this land to be much too beautiful to not have people live here. So when two wolves, one black, one white, one male, one female, crossed his path, he turned them into people so they could have children and live as people on this land. And that is the reason why we Quileute live here. So the wolves are our ancestors, and we still carry the magic of the wolf with us."

Dad fell silent and looked at me.

„It is important that you remember these lines, Leah. Don't feel overwhelmed, but I think you are the right person to become our next storyteller." So I had guessed right. The positions still existed, and Dad wanted me to become the new keeper of the tribal history.

A great honor.

And I wasn't sure whether I was the right person for this.

Dad seemed to know that I didn't trust myself. „Sweetie, I am completely convinced you are the right person. You love to write. You love stories. I know that if anything new happens, you will be able to invent new stories. I trust you completely. You might leave Quileute land one day, and that is okay. As long as you pass on the stories before you die. But, honey, you are the best person I could find. Besides, your great-great-great-grandmother was our storyteller, too." I smiled a small smile. „Doesn't mean I'm the right person." Dad stood up, still looking serious. „Her name was Leah Clearwater, and she was the last girl ever born to the Clearwater family before you came. People say she was the best storyteller we've ever had. If anyone can replace her, then you."

He smiled and kissed my forehead. „I will tell you all our stories", he grinned, „Don't think too much about it yet." He looked at his watch. „Geesh, the game's about to begin. See you in the morning, good night, sweetie!"

And he left my room.

Confused, I looked around. I concentrated on what my room looked like, which fortunately drew my mind away from the weird situation that just had happened. A sudden idea came to me. I could redecorate my room! Yeah, that was a good idea. I would ask Jacob tomorrow to help me. I could paint the walls green. And maybe we could find some cool decoration stuff in both our houses. Something like that.

I sat down at my table and tried to concentrate on my English homework, but Dad's story came back spinning in my mind. I became so restless that I finally pulled out Jake's journal and started to write the story down.

After I had done this, I felt better. I finished my homework and then went to bed, where in strange dreams a light grey, almost white wolf was haunting me.


	18. Almost Everyday Life

(Almost) Everyday Life

When I woke up the next morning, I still felt strange and hollow. I couldn't believe Dad really had decided that I should become the tribe's next storyteller. First of all, I hadn't even known that this kind of position still existed – but then, I shouldn't have been surprised. It was common for tribes to keep their traditions alive, and if I had wanted to be left out of tradition-keeping, I certainly had chosen the wrong family. The families Black, Ateara, Uley and unfortunately Clearwater were the 'inner circle' of the Quileute tribe, the ones that had always stuck to the tribe's traditions. Actually, I was pretty sure that 'Great Wolf' and 'Little Wolf' had always been members of one of these four families. Not that it mattered much to me, but it was feeling strange – I could always try as hard as I wanted to, I would never be able to really flee my history, my tribe, my origin. I would always be a Quileute Indian, and Dad had only tightened that connection by making me the next storyteller. I was tied to La Push forever now, in a sense. Not a very comforting thought. What helped was that I knew Jake was equally tied. Billy was our chief, and in earlier times, Jacob would have no other choice but to succeed him. I didn't know much about the chief's position today, but I was pretty sure that it wouldn't be easy for him to leave Quileute land, either.

Absent-minded, I took a shower. Thinking about tribal stuff gave me a headache. I tried to think about redecorating my room. My salary would be enough to paint my walls green, and for some reason, I wanted to have it a little golden, too. I loved that combination.

I got out of the shower and started to get ready for school. I eyed my make-up, thinking about whether I should use it. I didn't often use make-up. Today, I decided against it. Again.

Downstairs, Mom was making breakfast. Pancakes. I loved pancakes, but it wasn't often that Mon actually took her time to make some. She smiled at me and handed me a plate with three pieces. „Morning, honey! Did you have a good night?" I nodded and yawned, before I grabbed a fork and started eating the first pancake. Mom looked at me for a while before she said:"It's your brother's birthday in a month, and I've started looking for presents. Do you have a good idea. I found it easier to buy a present for a fourteen-year-old girl than a boy." Oh right. Seth's fourteenth birthday was coming up, on the 20th of April, and I didn't have a single idea what to give him. He didn't have a hobby that I could support like Jake did. „I'll ask Jacob", I promised Mom and wolfed down the rest of the pancakes, because, as always, it was getting late. „Thanks for the breakfast", I said, „See you later." I rushed out of the kitchen and to the stairs. „SETH!", I shouted upstairs, as every morning, „Hurry up if you want to drive with me!" I could hear him running out of his room. „Be careful!", I reminded him loudly. „You're not my Mom!", he complained as he sprinted downstairs, jumping into his shoes as soon as he got to the door.

Minutes later, I stood in front of the Blacks' house. Jacob came running out as well and hurried into the car. It was raining again, and we all had forgotten our umbrellas. It was getting late now.

Why couldn't I be done with school? I hated it. I wanted to go my own way, as far as this was possible, and school only made that impossible.

I had History, English, Maths and Art before the bell rang to announce lunch. We didn't have homerooms because our student body was so small, which actually was good because it saved time.

I sprinted to the cafeteria, but Jake had of course arrived before me. He sat there, together with Quil and Embry, and I gave all three of them a hug. Since Jacob's birthday, Embry and I were sort of friends. He was a funny guy with lots of stupid comments, which were always hilarious.

I looked at the three of them. Neither had a tray of food that would have proved they had already eaten. „Lost your lunch money again, Embry?", I asked, grinning. He struck his tongue out at me. „Not today, Clearwater. But if you wanna lose yours, I bet I could find a good bet for you." I smiled. „Thanks a lot, but I'd like to eat. What's for lunch today?" „Chicken, peas and mashed potatoes. Mashed potatoes look a little... you know... eaten", Quil grinned. I raised an eyebrow. „I thought we had all agreed that our food is the best cafeteria food in the whole world?", I asked. Jacob shrugged. „Yeah, well, the cafeteria can't always be perfect. But they sort of make it up today, 'cause they have cupcakes for dessert." „Have you already eaten?", I asked, sounding a little menacing. „Nope", they all answered, and we all got up to get our food.

I fell back a little to talk to Jake. „Hey", I began, „I had an idea yesterday. I'd like to redecorate my room." He raised an eyebrow. „You'd like to what?" „Redecorate my room!", I moaned, „I thought about green and gold. Would you like to help me?" A huge smile spread across his face. „Painting your room? Spending time with you? Sure! When?" „Like, this weekend?", I asked as we were lining up for lunch. „Great! We should buy paint before, though. Do you have time today?" I shook my head. „I have to work. But tomorrow would be fine. We could drive to Port Angeles. There is a store that sells paint." „Green and gold?", Jacob asked again. „The wall where my bed is and the one where my shelves are are supposed to be green, and I'd like to have golden decorations." „You girl", Jake grinned as the cook handed us the trays of food. We walked back to our table, where Embry and Quil were already sitting and eating. „'Course I'll help you. Maybe I'll even find some golden decoration at my house." I kissed his cheek. „You're the best." Embry rolled his eyes. „You've been doing that for quite a long time now. When is it going to be the lips?" Jake and I ignored him. We were used to comments like this.

Quil sighed. We looked at him. Embry rolled his eyes again. „Who is it this time?"

Almost every week, Quil had a new crush. Mostly it were the senior girls or the girls from my class he fell for, but sometimes it was a sophomore girl as well. As there weren't many students at the tribal school, anyway, he crushed on certain girls again and again.

Quil sighed again. „Carlie Robertson." Carlie Robertson was a sixteen-year-old sophomore girl with long dark brown hair and light brown eyes and she was a real tattletale. One could hear her jabbering from miles, and there was nothing she didn't know. Actually, she knew a lot of things no one else knew, not even those who were concerned by her news. Embry moaned. „Honestly? Carlie Robertson? Are you out of your mind?" Quil looked at Embry angrily. Embry never liked the girls Quil liked, and Quil never liked the girls Embry liked. It wasn't a typical day at school if these two didn't fight about girls. „She's beautiful!", Quil stated, „Just look at her!" Embry looked at Carlie, who sat with Paul's friends at the sophomores' table. But when he turned back to Quil, he didn't make a comment about Carlie. There was something more important on his mind.

„Paul's still sick."

We all looked at the sophomores' table where Carlie Robertson was talking to Martin right now. Embry was right – Paul wasn't there today. He hadn't been to school for almost seven days now, and according to Seth, who had overheard two of Paul's friends, he couldn't be reached at home. His mother had been very tight-lipped about why he wasn't able to go to school. I had heard rumours of him having run away, but I just couldn't imagine Paul leaving La Push.

Besides, I was pretty sure I had seen him when I had worked at the _Lonesome Creek Store_ the last time. It just had had to be Paul's face that had looked into the store, checking whether somebody was there. He had disappeared as soon as he had seen me, but I had observed that he had just been wearing cut pants.

„That's getting stranger and stranger", Jacob said. I let my eyes swoop over the rest of the cafeteria and watched Kim and Jared sitting alone at a table, laughing and kissing and flirting as they always did. I suddenly remembered that a year ago, Jared had been missing school for almost two weeks. When he had come back, he had cut his hair short and he had gotten a _tattoo_. A tattoo! I didn't have anything against tattoos, although I'd never have the courage to have one. But it was weird that Jared, whom I never had suspected as someone who really wanted something like that, would actually get a tattoo. There was something else I remembered: Only shortly after he had returned to school, Jared had started to date Kim. Kim had always been crushing on Jared, but he'd always ignored her. And then...

Ah, whatever. My room was more important than Paul or Jared, and I was looking forward to change it. The only fear I had was that Jake found the box with the reminders of Sam's and and my relationship beneath my bed. Dream catcher and photos were okay, but just the idea that he might find the ring was horrible. He couldn't know about the broken promise. Maybe I should hide the ring somewhere else. In my closet, for instance, behind my my blouses and T-Shirts. That was a good place. Jake would never ever look into my closet.

After work, I went into our laundry room, which also served as a place where unneeded but too valuable to be thrown away things were stored, to look for some golden stuff I could use as decoration. I knew that Mom had loved golden things when she'd been younger, and Mom barely ever threw such things away.

In the laundry room were a couple of boxes that also belonged to my dead grandparents. Clearwater, of course. Mom's mother lived somewhere in Seattle. She had fled Quileute land and had been very angry with Mom that she had decided to move back to her roots. They hadn't talked ever since Mom's and Dad's wedding, which Mom didn't find too sad. They had never really had a good relationship.

Grandparents Clearwaters' boxes proved to be very interesting. Instead of continuing my search for gold, I sat down on the ground to take a good look at the cartons. In one box were many photos, lots of Dad as a small child, together with a little Billy Black and a little older Quil Ateara. Funny that even back then they had been good friends.

Deep in another box were very old photos, and some letters, apparently from a young grandpa to a young grandma. I decided not to read them, to give their love some privacy. But I looked at the old photos. Some seemed to date back to the beginning 20th century, taken by some missionary who wanted to prove that being Christian and western would bring a lot of advantages. I bet that my ancestors hadn't listened. What was strange that Dad seemed to have been right. There were no girls on the Clearwater family photos. The wives, of course, but no Clearwater girls.

And then the last picture almost gave me a heart attack. It was very, very old and showed a young woman from our tribe that looked strangely familiar. She did have Clearwater features, and if her hair was longer, she would look a lot like me. Her eyes were exactly the same shape that mine were, and although the woman didn't smile, her eyes looked mockingly at the viewer. She wore a Native American dress with unfamiliar symbols, and around her neck hung a bullet on a leather band. I turned the photo, although I had already guessed who the woman was. Still, the title on the backside confirmed my guess. „Leah Clearwater, 1862, Myers photographing, Floresville". So this was my great-great-great-grandmother. 1862 – that really was a long time ago. I looked at the words written behind her name, and cursed myself for having absolutely no clue about geography. Where was Floresville? There was no town named like that in Washington, of that I was sure. I would search for it later.

I wanted to know more about my ancestor. Like I had said to Jasper, history became interesting to me as soon as I could relate to it. And here was a family member that was more mysterious than anyone else I knew – except for Jasper, maybe – and I wanted to know everything. But who would know about her, besides Dad? Billy? Maybe. I would have to ask him someday.

I continued rummaging through the boxes. It was already getting late, but I wanted to find more information on Leah Clearwater the Older. I was more curious than I'd ever been before, but sadly there was nothing else about her. Instead, I found four golden candleholders that looked like they had once held red candles. I also found three golden photo frames and a small golden box that contained a lot of buttons. Happy with my findings, I returned to my room and placed the candleholders, the frames and the box on my desk. I smiled at the photo of Leah Clearwater and pinned it above my bed.

I got ready for bed and laid down, trying not to think about all that tribal stuff too much. When I couldn't sleep, I took out my cell phone and listened to the cheat call function again that Seth had recorded for me and that had saved me last Saturday. Then I remembered that I had gotten a very special number on that day. I looked for it and found the piece of paper in a book of mine. Should I save the number on my cell phone? 'Jasper Cell' would only raise questions if anyone saw it. Maybe I could hide the piece of paper and learn the number by heart. That was probably the best thing I could do.

I looked at the number again, but then decided not to contact him now. It was already half past eleven o'clock, and I didn't want to risk waking Jasper.

When I had finally fallen asleep, my dreams were a strange blurr of colors. The only things I recognized were a smiling Leah Clearwater the Older, and some grey uniform with yellow trims that I didn't know.

The next day school was as boring as ever. Mr Cauldwell bored us with the Texan Revolution, and in English we talked about Macbeth again. I began to think that my English teacher was a huge Shakespeare fan. Maths was as hateful as always, and in Art, I was supposed to draw an advertisement poster. I couldn't think of anything, though. The other girls from my class were happy with drawing perfumes, jewellery and clothes, but I didn't want to.

At lunch, Embry and Quil were still arguing over the attractiveness of Carlie Robertson, while Jacob told me that Bella still hadn't called her father and that Charlie was extremely worried. „I would kill my daughter if she did something like that to me", I stated, „I mean, you can't just run off and then not at least tell your parents that you're fine." Jacob nodded. „Speaking off running away – Paul's still not here today." Jacob was right. Paul still didn't sit at the sophomores' table.

After school, Jacob and I drove to Port Angeles to buy paint. We had a lot of fun on our way to the store, and Jake told me that Alex had called him to ask why I hadn't called him yet. „What did you say?" „You'll like my answer", Jake grinned, „I told him you were 'car-sick'. Now he believes that you got sick because of some crazy drive, while you and I know it's because of his talking. Brilliant, isn't it?" I nodded, grinning. Jacob was a genius sometimes. I just hoped that Alex wouldn't call _me _now.

The store had exactly the color I wanted: A dark leafy green that didn't look too much like black and that wasn't too light as well. It was a rain forest deep green which would look awesome with gold.

„Why do you want your room green-golden, anyway?", Jacob asked as I was paying for the paint. „I grew tired of white-brown", I answered. It was true. My room had always been white and brown, and now I wanted a different color. Dark green and deep blue were my favorites, but since I couldn't imagine a blue room, I had decided for green. Green was great. Not for a car, but for a room. And gold and green just looked nice together.

We entered a decoration store, and I could see that Jake wanted to leave immediately. It was too pink in here, too purple, too red. „That's a women's store!", my best friend complained, and I had to agree with him. I couldn't imagine I would find something golden here. „I'm gonna wait outside", Jacob said, but I kept him from leaving. „I'm awfully sorry, Jakey, but you've gotta help me now. Where's the gold?" I looked around. Jacob chuckled. „You sound like a pirate", he grinned, and I hit him.

It was Jake eventually who found the golden decoration. Unfortunately there were mostly candleholders that looked kinf of ugly. Besides, I already had four candleholders, thanks to Mom. „Why do girls like candles?", Jacob asked while looking at a huge silver candleholder next to him. „They're romantic", I explained, „and they also have a special power: They can burn something... or someone." „Haha", Jacob said, but he grinned, „You're a nightmare, Lee." „But at least you're dreaming of me!", I stated happily and examined an ugly golden frog.

Ten minutes later we left the store. I carried a bag with with eight red candles and a mosquito net. A pale green one that had been on sale because it belonged to the autumn collection. Up until now I hadn't even known that there were collections for decoration, too, that changed with the seasons. Jacob pointed at the bag. „I can install that for you", he said, „And when did you want to start, anyway?" „Friday?", I proposed. Jake thought for a moment. „Okay. We can paint your walls on that day. I love painting walls, and I'm pretty sure we still have some paint brushes at home. Oh, and by the way, the only golden thing we have at home is a bottle opener. For Dad's beer", he explained, which was unnecessary of course, because everyone knew that Billy loved beer.

We drove home, not talking much. Not because there was nothing to talk about – which was absolutely not the case – but because Jake was tired and fell asleep. It was kind of funny to drive while the person next to oneself was snoring loudly, but I knew Jake'S snoring, and it didn't bother me at all. It was calming to listen to his quiet snoring, to his relaxing sleep. I wanted to sleep, too.

I dropped Jacob off at his house and drove home, where I ate toast with turkey and went upstairs. I began working on my homework when I remembered the box with Sam's gifts. I pulled it out and looked through the things. There were a lot of photos of me and Sam during the Quileute Days, at Port Angeles, in Seattle at a big fair, at the beach, in the forest.

It was sad to look at them. But I felt good today, and so the memories of the past could not twist my heart today. On some other day, though, looking at the pictures would have ripped my heart out. I couldn't forget my love for Sam, even with Jake, whom I loved, too, next to me. I now knew I shouldn't have given Sam all of me, because it was kind of hard to put everything back together so I could give it to someone else.

But for Jacob, I was willing to try.

I saw the dream catcher Sam had given me and rested a little in memories of a for me long-gone past. It seemed longer ago than it actually was.

I rummaged through the rest of the stuffed animals and jewellery Sam had given me during our relationship until I finally found the small box with the ring. I couldn't risk Jacob finding it. I certainly didn't want to talk about a broken engagement. I stood up and put the box in my closet, to my jackets instead to my shirts. Then I put the carton back underneath the bed and finished my homework, when suddenly my cell rang. I was afraid that it might be Alex, but it was just a message from Jake:

good night, beautiful dreams. Love you, jake

I answered and went to bed, where my back thanked me for finally laying down. Maybe I had sat too much today.

The next day, Thursday, it was raining again, and I got no homework. I had no idea why, maybe it had something to do with the teachers' conference this afternoon. We got to leave school an hour earlier! Unfortunately I had to work today, but before that, I still had lots of time to drive to Forks to buy my favorite doughnuts. I hadn't bought them for weeks, and I wanted some right now. Sadly they weren't sold at the _Lonesome Creek Store_, so I had to drive to Forks every time I wanted to eat them.

I bought six (!) packets as a sort of hoard. On my way back to the reservation I crossed the Cullens' House. In my opinion, it was way too big. 'House' was not a very good word. 'Mansion' fitted better. I didn't want to know how much money they had. And from where they had it. Dr Cullen couldn't earn that much at the hospital in Forks. Maybe he had inherited the money.

I stopped when I saw someone walking out of the house. Jasper's strange girlfriend was carrying large boxes while holding a purple umbrella. I got out of the car. „Hello, Alice!", I called, not even knowing why I had gotten out of the car. I was supposed to hate the Cullens. But then hating them had no real reason. It was a stupid tribal prejudice, and I hated prejudices more than anything else.

Alice looked up and beamed when she recognized me. „Hey Leah! Why don't you come out of the rain?" She held up her umbrella. I was a little indecisive – should I walk up to her? I didn't really know her, and I couldn't understand why she was so nice. But my hair became wetter and wetter, and so I walked up to Alice and her umbrella. She smelled just as strangely sweet as Jasper did. Only that I started to find it difficult to decide whether the smell was stinky or not. „How are you, Leah? Did you enjoy dinner with my boyfriend?" Funnily she sounded not the least bit jealous. I would have exploded if Sam had gone to a restaurant with some strange unknown chick who obviously didn't like my kind much. „Sort of. Didn't expect to be invited." Alice smiled. „He is a gentleman, and of course he likes you. I think you're going to be great friends!" I raised an eyebrow. „Yeah, sure." She still smiled. „You'll see!" I wasn't sure whether her beaming pissed me off or not. „So, Alice, what are you doing?", I asked, eyeing the boxes. „Oh, just throwing away some old party decoration. Carlisle's gonna take them with him when he's going to the hospital. Uh!" She looked at the sky, which was getting darker every second. „Leah, would you like to come inside to have a cup of tea? It looks like the rain is going to get worse."

Overwhelmed, I followed her into the house and right into the kitchen. I was so utterly surprised by her invitation that I didn't pay much attention on how the house looked like on the inside. In the kitchen, Alice almost flew around the room to get the water boiled. „What kind of tea would you like to drink?" She opened a cupboard where only tea was stored. I stared at all the different packs. „What kinds do you have?", I asked back, looking around the huge kitchen. They seemed to have everything that a famous chef could desire, and it looked so clean. The Cullens were probably a very tidy family. „Every kind. Would you rather like black tea or fruit infusions?" „Do you have Earl Grey?", I asked shyly. Earl Grey was my favorite tea, but I didn't drink it often. My parents liked coffee more, and Seth hated black tea. „Sure! Earl Grey...", she rummaged through the many packs until she found the pack with Earl Grey. Then Alice took out two cups and prepared the tea. „Would you like some cookies, too?" I could never say no to cookies, so I nodded. Alice smiled and handed me my cup, then she opened another cupboard and put my favorite chocolate chip cookies on the table. I couldn't believe she actually was so nice to me. She took her cup and sat down opposite to me. „Sorry that Jasper isn't here", Alice suddenly said, „He's taking my brother Edward to Phoenix." „Why?", I asked before I could stop. „Well, Bella ran away from here, I don't know if you've heard about that, and Edward wanted to go after her. She's in a hospital now, she fell down a staircase and through a window." She looked worried. „But she is alright so far?", I asked. I still did not like Isabella, but I didn't want her hurt. „She is alive, yes. You shouldn't worry about her. I was at Phoenix, too, but I went back with Carlisle and my other brother, Emmett, so we wouldn't miss school." „But didn't Isabella break up with your brother?", I asked, slapping my subconsciousness for being so impolite. Alice shook her head. „That was just a big misunderstanding. I think everything will be alright once she wakes up." „She's still unconscious?", I asked, and I had to admit that I was a little bit worried. I wasn't uncaring, even not with people that I didn't like. Alice nodded. „She's not in mortal danger, though. Do you want sugar for your tea?" „Yes, please." I was about to ask another question when suddenly the blond girl, Rosalie, stepped into the kitchen. When she saw me, her eyes wandered up and down my body, as if she was checking me out. I felt a little uncomfortable, especially because she had this cold expression on her face that clearly showed her dislike. „Hello. I'm Rosalie Hale. And you are?" Her voice was ice-cold. I liked that. She was a bitch, just like me. I could be as cold as she was. „My name's Leah Clearwater." My voice sounded exactly as cold as hers. Both of us turned away from each other – I drank my tea and ate some of the cookies, and Rosalie told Alice that she was going out with Emmett now. She walked out of the room and disappeared from my sight. „I'm sorry", Alice apologized, „Rosalie doesn't like many people." „Oh, don't worry. I don't, either." I smiled. „So you're throwing away party decoration?", I asked. Alice nodded. „They're left from Esme's birthday." She sighed. „I hate throwing away good decoration. I suppose you don't need golden leaves, do you?" I thought about my room. „Actually, I do", I said. Alice beamed. „Really? Great! We've got hundreds of them. How many do you want?" I thought for a moment. My room wasn't big, and I wasn't really sure yet where I could use golden garlands. „I think a box is enough." Alice nodded. „Great! Wait a moment, I'll get one for you." She danced out of the kitchen, and I ate another cookie. Alice was a strange person, too. Just like Jasper, she knew that we from the Quileute reservation didn't like the Cullens, and Jared had often enough declared that the Cullens didn't like the Quileutes, either. Actually, he usually said that once a week when we were talking about tribal politics. Maybe Dr. Cullen was responsible for the death of a Quileute member. I had to admit that the only reason why I hadn't liked this family had always been because at home, everyone hated them. Right now I was glad that I had the ability to look past my prejudices – because Jasper was really nice, and Alice was friendly, too. Okay, Rosalie was kind of bitchy, but I was, too – I couldn't hold that against her. The Cullens proved my favorite theory: Everyone deserved a chance. And if they failed, they deserved a second one.

Alice came back, carrying a box. She put the box down at my feet and smiled. „Here you are. I'm glad someone can use them." I smiled back at her. „How much are they?" Alice stared at me, uncomprehending. I was about to raise an eyebrow before I realized that she didn't know what I meant. „Let's say I really took that box here in front of you, how much would it cost me?" „Oh!" Now she understood. Her smile became even bigger. „Absolutely nothing, of course. We don't need them anymore. Actually, there's something else I don't need anymore – a chain of lights. Would you like to see it? I'm sure you'll like it, too." „Ehm... okay..." Mystified, I watched her dancing out of the room again. She really was a weird girl, but also a nice one. I wasn't really sure what to think of her. Maybe I should change my usual way of reacting to people: Usually, I didn't like them until they proved to be likable, but according to the theory that everyone deserved a chance, I should like people until they proved to be not nice at all.

I was about to empty the cup when suddenly Alice came back into the kitchen. She was holding a beautiful chain of lights whose elements looked like full moons. „You like it", Alice stated after examining my face. I simply nodded. She put the chain on top of the box with the garlands. „Thank you", I said, „I can really use that right now." „Oh, you're redecorating?", she asked with interest, „I love redecorating. Esme loves it, too. I really hope that it is what you have in mind." I smiled. „Probably." I looked at my cell to check the time. „Oh Christ!", I cursed as I realized how late it was, „I'm awfully sorry, Alice, I really would like to stay and chat" - did I? I wasn't sure anymore whether that had been a lie or the complete truth - „but I have to go to work. My boss will kill me if I'm late." Alice grinned. „Sure. But you have to come back some other time, okay?" Overwhelmed by her warm and welcoming attitude, I nodded. She led me to the entrance door and opened it. „See you, Leah!" I tried to smile. Why did I feel so surprised? Maybe because usually people weren't so friendly, especially not in the beginning. „Yes", I answered, „See you later then. Say hi to Jasper." „Will do!", she beamed, „And by the way: He'd be very happy if you called or texted him." And with that last comment, she shut the door, and I walked back to my car, very confused.

After work, at home, I unpacked the garlands. Against all my expectations, they were perfect: long, pale golden leaves that would look great on my mosquito net.

Hm. Since when did I care so much about how things looked like? Usually I didn't bother much, but for some reason, I really wanted to change now.

I really did. I wanted to get rid of my sadness, of my love for Sam, of my hope that maybe his all-too-happy relationship with Emily would end badly.

But I couldn't do that alone. I needed help. And my Jacob was perfect for that. He would be the one to help me out of this mess. He would help me redecorate my room. But not only that.

He would help me redecorate my life.


	19. And Some Other News

**The favorite song Leah mentions in this chapter is 'Transatlanticism' by Death Cab For Cutie. Of course, if you don't like that song, you can imagine another one. I don't want to dictate you _everything _about Leah's personality. Just imagine _your _favorite song being hers. **

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Enjoy this chapter!**

Old F(r)iends, New F(r)iends and Some Other News

On Friday morning, I woke up way too early. Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep anymore, so I got up, took a shower, got dressed and went downstairs to make breakfast. But even after I was done with that, there was still an hour left until my family would even get up.

Angrily I went back upstairs and laid down on my bed, thinking about this night. I was so looking forward to painting my room, and especially on spending most of my weekend with Jacob.

I got up again and walked up and down my room before finally settling on looking at my ancestor's photo. She looked beautiful, but sad somehow. And did I just imagine the bad scar on the left side of her neck? I looked closer. The scar looked like she had been bitten by something with sharp teeth. The skin of the scar looked paler than the rest of her body, and for some reason the scar really gave me the creeps.

I jumped at a noise. Mom had opened the door to wake me. „Leah, honey, you're already up?" I nodded. „I've made breakfast", I smiled at her. Mom beamed. „Thanks a lot, sweetie. Come down, will you?" I nodded again. „Just a second." Mom left my room again, and I started packing my things.

I so didn't want to go to school today. At least it was Friday, though Friday often meant a lot more homework.

Down in the kitchen I ate some breakfast and then – in the first time in my history – I was early for school. Jake and I got out of the car on the parking lot and went inside the school building, while Seth was waiting outside for Abby. I was pretty amazed that they were a couple still and that they seemed happy – after all, relationships at this age usually didn't last this long. On the other hand I hadn't been much older when I had found Sam, and I was still very convinced we would have made it through life if it hadn't been for Emily.

Jake watched me opening my locker before he began: „You know, if we paint your room, you probably can't sleep in there, at least not today." I hadn't thought about that, but he was right. I didn't want to smell paint for the whole night. „What do you have in mind?", I asked carefully. „Well", he started, and a wicked smile grew on his face, „I've already slept at your place, so this would mean it's your turn to stay at mine." My face brightened up. „Really?" Jake nodded. „Sure!", I really thought it was a good idea. And it was also a better way to spend the weekend than homework.

History was way better today than usual, because we didn't talk about history at all. Mr Cauldwell had a surprise for us, which really was a surprise because it was something good – the council and the school had decided that the students belonging to the Quileute Senior High should visit the Makah sister tribe of the Nuu-chah-nulth or Nootka in Canada along with the oldest of the Makah teens in September. That was kind of cool, and although Mr Cauldwell told us not to get too excited right now while nothing was decided yet, we couldn't stop talking about it. Jared was the loudest, and Kim just looked at him with huge admiring eyes. How could a girl look at a boy that way? She followed him wherever he went – although it sometimes looked like _he _was following _her_. In any case, Mr Cauldwell could forget history lesson for today, and because we had so many questions, we didn't even get homework.

When I came to lunch, Quil handed me my tray of food without telling me why he had bought it for me and pointed at the sophomores' table, where Paul still didn't sit. I just raised an eyebrow. „So what? He's still not at school. Thanks for lunch." But Quil shook his head and nodded into the direction of the table that was only shared by Kim and Jared. I looked at that table, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Paul Meraz, the I'll-get-you-to-the-emergency-room-faster-than-you-can-say-sorry guy, sat there, together with Kim and Jared. He looked a little confused, but that was not what caught my attention.

_Paul_ _had cut his hair._ He had short hair, shorter than short, just as short as Jared had his. And he wore shorts and a T-shirt. Shorts and a shirt. In the middle of March. In Washington. And it was raining today! I had become accustomed to Jared wearing shorts in mid-winter, but seeing Paul in such short clothes after being sick for so long, sitting there with Jared and talking to him like they were best friends while abandoning his old friends, like Martin, really shocked me.

„Since when is he friends with Jared?", I asked Quil. „I have no idea. I talked to Martin, and he said Paul doesn't talk to him. He didn't even say hi. Apparently he just gave him a short nod. Did this illness blow his brain out of his head, or what? Paul never had many close friends, and leaving them just like that is, like, the stupidest thing on earth." I nodded, watching Paul, Jared and Kim finish their meal. I would talk to Jacob about it. If Paul was now friends with Jared. That could only mean that he was now Sam's friend as well, making him even more my enemy than before. Besides, Paul had never even liked Sam.

This was... mysterious.

I liked mysteries.

At home again, I rushed back into my room to check whether the ring was really safe and whether there was anything else that was so embarrassing that Jacob shouldn't see it and that I should hide. There wasn't.

The door bell rang, and I could hear Seth open the door, calling: „Hey Jake! Great to see you! Leah's upstairs!" How could Seth always be so happy? It was unbelievable! Happy-go-lucky-Seth really was annoying sometimes.

Seconds later somebody knocked at my door. 'Somebody' of course was my best friend, and he carried two paint brushes, a package of popcorn and two bottles of coke. „Okay!", he said happily after he had given me a hug, „Let's start!" We moved my furniture from the walls – at least my bed and the two shelves, because that was where we wanted to paint the walls green. Then we put up some plastic protection – because Mom had said after I had told her about my redecoration plans that she would kill me if I got paint on the floor, the ceiling or the door. Before we really started, I switched on the lights, because it was already getting dark, and then we started to paint.

The green looked really great on the wall – not too dark and not too light – and it was fun to work with Jake. I had already experienced that when we had worked together on his car about half a year ago, but now it became even more obvious.

Music was playing, and we talked about this and that, when Jake suddenly had to answer his cell. „Dad", he mouthed, before he said loudly: „Yes?" I couldn't hear what Billy was saying, but Jake's look changed from worried to relieved, before he finally said: „Yeah. Thanks, Dad. That's good news. Say hi, will you?" Then he hung up and looked at me. „Charlie called Dad. You heard about Bella being in a coma, right?" I nodded. „Sure, after being such a klutz to fall downstairs and through a window. Through. A. Window!" I winked at Jake. „What's with her?" „She woke up. She's badly hurt, of course, but she'll be okay. A lot of broken bones, and she's in pain, but she's going to be fine." I just nodded. In my opinion, Isabella was a weird person anyway. One I didn't need to know better, and I didn't want to know better.

Jacob realized I didn't like what we were talking about and therefore changed the subject: „Did you see Paul today?" Thankful for the change of topic, I answered: „Sure I did. Quil practically made me sit at Jared's and Kim's table today because he was so interested in Paul being back." „Maybe he likes Paul", Jacob grinned, and we both laughed. But Paul was a serious topic, and so I continued: „He didn't look sick at all. Sure, he could be totally fine now, but I don't really know... there's something strange about it." Jacob nodded. „Think so, too. And you know what? Carlie Robertson told Quil-" I interrupted Jake. „_Carlie Robertson_ told Quil? The girl he's crushing on like a stupid moron?" „Exactly that girl." „Oh Christ. He's gonna be head over heels for her for months now!", I moaned, because that was Quil's usual reaction to a girl talking to him. Jake agreed with me – concerning girls, Quil desperately needed help. „Anyway", Jacob continued, „She told Quil that in gym, everyone could see that Paul has a tattoo now." I almost dropped the paint brush. „Paul has a tattoo? You're kidding me!" „He really does, I asked Martin. Martin's completely confused. I mean, he was one of Paul's closest friends, and now Paul is acting like he hates Martin. It's like Martin has done something wrong, only that he doesn't remember what that could have been." I felt sorry for Martin. From friends to fiends, not a desirable development. „Poor Martin. Did he tell you what kind of tattoo?" Jacob grinned. „That's something you're interested in, hm? It's the same Jared has." I almost dropped my paint brush again. „The same? Are you sure?" Jacob nodded. „Weird, isn't it?" „Weird? _Weird_? That's not just weird, Jake, that's abnormal! Look, Jared and Paul never even liked each other-" „Actually, Jared once stated that Paul was a bigger pain in the ass than you after Sam's break-up." He ducked his head because he had realized that he had said something he shouldn't have said. I grabbed some popcorn and threw it at him. „I have been a pain in the ass? Really?" I knew that I had, but it made me furious to hear it from my best friend. „Jeez, Lee, relax! Jared said that, not me! Besides, you're fine now, aren't you?" I sighed and sat down on my bed. „Yeah... I'm fine... I guess."

Was I fine? Would I ever be fine? Why did I always have to think about Sam? Often enough, thoughts of him came creeping up to me without me noticing it, which really was annoying. I usually was convinced that I thought more about Jake than about Sam, but on the whole, that wasn't true.

And that pissed me off!

Was it even allowed to be pissed at oneself?

Annoyed, I pushed my thoughts aside and concentrated on Paul and Jared. „So they hate each other, but they have the same tattoo..." Some picture crossed my mind. Sam, walking past the _Lonesome Creek Store _not long ago. He had worn a muscle shirt and shorts, and I remembered having seen a tattoo... exactly the same that Jared had. I told Jake, who almost choked on his coke. „The _same_? Are you sure?" I nodded. „What is that?", Jacob asked himself, and me, „Is that some sort of gang forming here, or what?" I shrugged. „I have no idea, Jake, but I don't like it much. We don't need an Indian gang. What would be the use of it, anyway?" Jacob had no idea, too, and we dropped the topic, continuing to paint in silence until I dropped my paint brush and sat down on the ground, yawning loudly. „We're done, Jacob", I informed my best friend, who just stared at the walls with tired eyes. He yawned, too. „The green looks great. Can we go and sleep now?" I nodded. I was extremely tired, but Jake was right. The green really was great. I was looking forward to using Alice's garlands. I was pretty sure that they would fit perfectly. That girl really had taste.

We drove to Jake's house and sneaked quietly into his room. Billy's bedroom door was wide open, and we could hear him snoring, but we didn't want to risk waking him up. Billy Black was very nice, but if he woke up in the middle of the night, he became a real monster.

I hurried into the bathroom and changed for the night before returning to Jake's tiny room. „Sharing the bed again?", Jacob asked. We both looked at his bed. „You think it's strong enough to carry us both?", I asked back. It was a travelling bed, after all. Jacob looked at me. „Sure! At one time, Quil and Embry and I sat on it, and Quil and Embry were jumping. It didn't break then, and unless you have more weight than we three together and plan on jumping on my bed, it should be okay." I shrugged. „If you say so. Sharing then, of course." Jacob grinned. „Then make yourself comfortable, I'll just go to the bathroom." I nodded, and he went out of the room.

I looked at the bed once more and then laid down, covering myself with the blanket. I yawned loudly, suddenly realizing how tired I really was. I thought about my room and what I would do with the garlands. Maybe I could attach them to the green mosquito net. Or glue them to the wall. Strange that Alice had given them to me. I had talked to Jasper thrice, which wasn't much. The last time had been a longer talk, sure, but still. Why would she think Jasper and I would be great friends?

I liked him, that was true. He was totally different from all the other guys I knew. Mysterious, somehow. And then... familiar. But I couldn't recall from where I might know his face. His behaviour. It all seemed strange to me... and normal. As if we had known each other for a long time, but I had forgotten about him.

What an abnormal feeling.

I almost jumped when Jake entered the room. Apparently I had fallen asleep while thinking. That often happened to me.

„Sorry", Jacob whispered, but we both had to grin. He closed the door and shut the light before he climbed into the bed. „Ouch, Lee, move a little!", he complained. I tried to get his hair out of my face. „If you put your hair somewhere else", I snapped back. Jacob grunted, and the sheets ruffled as he turned to me to lay an arm around me. „Night", he yawned. „Good night, Jake", I yawned, too, „Sweet dreams. Love you." I could hear him yawning again before he said quietly: „Love you too, Lee-Lee." This time, we both fell asleep quickly, and I slept dreamless.

Or rather, when I woke up the next morning, I could only remember colors rushing past me: green and brown and blue and yellow, red and grey and gold and silver. But I couldn't remember anything else – no topic, no characters, no things. I forgot the colors fast.

Jacob woke up the same time I did. We both could hear Billy humming in the kitchen. „He does know I'm here, doesn't he?", I asked, suddenly realizing that didn't have to be the case. „Sure he does. I don't want Dad to get a heart attack." He grinned at me. „So, what are we doing today?" I thought for a moment. „I want to use the garlands, and then we have to put everything back onto the shelves. Oh and somebody", I stressed the word 'somebody' so he would know I meant him, „will have to help me put up the mosquito net." Jacob grinned. „Okay! But let's eat breakfast now. Dad promised me to make pancakes." Awesome! Pancakes twice a week! I loved pancakes. I sometimes wished there was a pancake man, because that would definitely be my favoured husband.

We went together into the kitchen, where Billy sat reading the newspaper. On the table was a huge pile of pancakes. Jake and I grinned at each other and sat down. „Morning", we both said simultaneously. Billy lowered the newspaper. „And a good morning to you." He eyed us for a second, then raised the newspaper again. „Alright, Lee, what do you want to drink?", Jacob asked, jumping up, „We have cocoa, coffee, tea and orange juice." „Orange juice, please", I answered, looking hungrily at the pancakes. Billy had seen the look on my face. „Go ahead, help yourself", he smiled before disappearing behind the newspaper. I looked at the headline on the front page. Another corpse had been found, and this time, it was big news, because the dead person was the wife of Port Angeles' mayor.

I put three pancakes on my plate, and Jacob handed me a glass of juice. He then sat down with a cup of hot cocoa and started eating his part of the pile.

After having eaten for ten minutes in silence, Billy looked at us again. „So, did you have fun yesterday with the...", he paused as if he was looking for the right word, „painting?" „Of course!", Jake and I answered, but we looked at each other. Billy's question seemed concerned. Jacob raised an eyebrow, and I thought the same thought Jacob was thinking: _Please not! _

Unfortunately, Billy Black had exactly the thought we didn't want him to have. He looked at us with a serious look in his eyes and said: „I hope you guys are using protection?"

Jacob dropped his fork. My mouth opened to provide an answer, but it closed in the lack of a witty comment.

„Dad!", Jacob complained, „We're not doing IT. Leah's my freaking best friend, not my- my- my you-know-what!" Billy chuckled. „Well, you can have both in one person. Your mother and I, for example-" Jacob shut his ears with his hands. „I don't wanna hear it, Dad!"

It felt a little uncomfortable to talk about Jacob's mom. Sarah Black had died in a terrible accident when Jake had only been a little child, almost a baby still. As far as I could remember, Sarah had been a very friendly, but also a very energetic and sometimes short-tempered woman. One one wouldn't want to piss off. But maybe that was how Quileute women were. Mom was like that, Grandma Clearwater had been like that, I was like that, and I would bet Leah Clearwater the Older had been like that as well. But we all had to be this way – with our men, it wasn't easy, so we had to make sure _they _would make it easy for _us_, and that worked by making them fear the consequences.

„Sorry, son, but this is really important. You don't want to have a baby at the age of sixteen, do you?" „Dad!", Jacob growled, „Leah and I are not having sex." Billy and I both flinched at that sentence. I caught me pretty fast, though, fast enough to say: „Yeah, honestly, Billy. You know, I don't want to end in prison. Sleeping with Jake would be seduction of an underage person, and that's forbidden." I winked at Jacob. Billy breathed heavily, but sounded relieved when he said: „Alright, guys, I believe you. But if you ever think about it, _please _use protection." Jacob and I sighed in unison before we got up to put away the dishes and to drive home to continue working on my room.

„Sorry", Jake muttered as we left the house. I snorted. „Don't worry. I'm still waiting for Dad to make a comment like that. I think our fathers talk too much, and they worry too much, and they assume too much." We got into the car and I started the engine. „Hey, Lee", Jacob said after I had took the turn towards my house, „You still have that gift card from Christmas. Are you ever gonna use it?" I stopped in front of the Clearwater house. We got out of the car and walked inside. „Sure, if I ever find a good movie." Jacob grinned. „That's fine with me."

My room looked awesome. The green was fabulous (did I really use that word?), and with gold, it would look even better. „So, what's next?", Jacob asked. I looked around the room and then put the box with the golden garlands in the middle of it. „That", I answered. Jacob opened the box. „Whoa", he made, „That's a lot of gold." He grabbed a fistful of garlands and looked at them. „Where do you want to put them?" I shrugged. „No idea. I want some of them wrapped around the mosquito net." Jacob sighed. „Then give me the net and let's try out what we can do."

I handed him the net, and for the next hour or so we were trying different looks and different methods of how to make the garlands stay at the net. Finally we had a good-looking mosquito net, and Jacob and I were hungry enough to go downstairs to make lunch.

I made spaghetti for both of us while Jake was preparing a salad, and we didn't speak for a while. The radio was turned on. A song I didn't recognize was playing, and Jake hummed to its melody.

I smiled without him noticing it. That was exactly the life I wished for. Sitting in the kitchen with my husband, cooking together, just being together. A quiet sigh escaped my lips. That was one of the many wishes I had that would never come true.

We ate in front of the TV while watching NCIS. But although it was really good today, we were too exhausted to really pay attention. We sat together on the sofa, and as the second episode started, the quiet snoring next to me showed me that Jake had fallen asleep. He leaned against my shoulder and looked like he was dreaming.

It was raining outside, and for some reason, I thought about summer. Last summer, surfers had demolished Sam's windows and car wheels, and everyone had thought it had been me. But this unfair assumption – which had made me hate one of my former friends, this stupid bitch Kayla – had led to Jake and me becoming friends. Best friends, even. It was weird how one could connect with someone like that. Of course I had known Jacob ever since his birth, but we'd never been friends. Actually, I would have never thought that Jake and I could become friends, and certainly not that fast.

I thought about the other events of last year. A year ago, Sam had been my boyfriend – my secret fiancé. He hadn't started to act weird yet. _That _had started after Seth's 13th birthday, where Sam had acted unnecessarily aggressive. Two days later, he had gone missing. And missing meant that Mrs Uley and I had searched everywhere. I had looked behind every tree, under every stone and had climbed every mountain in this area to find him, because then, Sam had been my heart, and I hadn't found life worth living without him.

And two weeks later, he had turned up again, strangely hot, as if suffering from a terrible fever, but other than that, he had seemed as much in love as ever, although he would not tell me where he had been. Even today, I assumed that he had needed some time for himself, with his father being an asshole and him trying to get a scholarship for college. He had gotten one, after some time. And then he had turned it down.

College had been a big subject for both of us. The council – meaning Billy, Dad and Old Quil – had almost made him to go to college. And Sam had wanted to go, although it had been hard to work out how to stay together when he'd be far away.

But after he had returned from wherever he'd gone to, college stopped being an issue. At that time, I had been happy about it, but now, it struck me as odd. Why had he dismissed college? And the council had approved – usually the members got quite pissed once someone of us refused a scholarship, as they had gotten when Rebecca Black had turned hers down. But with Sam, everything had been fine.

And then of course nothing had been fine anymore, because suddenly, right after his senior prom, his heart had decided to love my cousin and to stop loving me.

A little tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away. I had promised not to cry anymore, and I would always keep my promises. Not like Sam, who had promised to love me forever and who hadn't done so.

Suddenly Jacob woke up, yawning loudly next to me. „What time is it?", he asked sleepily. I looked at the clock hanging on the wall next to the TV. „Half past three." „Oh." He yawned again and stretched himself before he stood up. „What did I miss?" I smiled. „Nothing. Gibbs just solved another case." Jacob shrugged. „Oh well, that's really nothing. Let's go upstairs and finish your room." I nodded, and so we took our plates back to the kitchen before we went upstairs. I took the phone with me. Nobody was at home right now, and I didn't want to run downstairs if it rang.

Jacob helped me hanging up the mosquito net. It looked great with the golden garlands. The rest of them were wrapped around my shelves, and I had wrapped the chain of lights around my bed. Then we put up the candle holders. One was put on my nightstand, two on my window sills and one on my desk. The red candles looked great in them, and Jake and I proudly admired our work. „We're done", Jacob said happily. „Almost", I replied, and pulled out the box from underneath my bed. Jacob stared at it for a minute before he asked: „Lee... what is that?" I didn't answer, I just opened the box. The candles were burning, and the chain of light was turned on as well. A CD was playing. It was cozy, but it was also the sort of atmosphere that made me even sadder when looking at old things.

Jacob took a look at the box. Right on top were the photos of Sam and me, and Jake understood. „What do you want to do with that?", he asked. I took a deep breath. „I want to hang up the dream catcher. The photos and all this other stuff stays in the box. I can't throw it away." I said the last part very quietly, and I could feel tears burning in my eyes. But I didn't cry. I blinked the tears away and shoved the box right back underneath my bed. Jacob smiled. „Just wait, Leah. There'll be the day where you can throw it all away. Now give me that dream catcher." I handed him the huge thing shyly. „It's unbelievably beautiful. Has Sam made it?" I nodded, not able to speak. I knew that if I spoke now, I would start to cry. Jake still smiled. He then climbed on my bed and put the dream catcher right above my pillow, where it hung from the mosquito net. I sat down on my bed, and he sat down next to me.

„You don't seem as sad as a while ago", he finally said after looking at me for a long time. I nodded. „It only hurts when I think about it, which I haven't done very often in the past few months... mostly because of you, actually." I smiled at him, and he beamed. He then made a funny noise and cleared his throat.

„You know, Lee, I would have never thought that we could be best friends. Not because of your mouth – that became scary after Sam had broken your... broken up with you – but because you were, like, the most beautiful girl in school. I mean, we've got really pretty girls here, but you were always the prettiest, which you didn't show, though. You never acted like those arrogant girls, like Kayla, for example, because you never needed it. You're a natural beauty. But you also were never a shy little princess. It was just so difficult to talk to you, to actually be courageous enough to talk to you, because to me and a bunch of classmates, you were always a... a... a Quileute queen. I would have never even assumed that you would want to be friends with me. I was so surprised when you actually accepted my apology. And I am glad that I've found a way to talk to you. You know what, Lee-Lee? To me, Embry and Quil, you're still the most beautiful girl in the rez." He looked sheepishly at me. „But don't tell them I told you, please."

My smile had widened with every word Jacob had said. When he had ended, I waited for a few seconds, too stunned to speak, before I said smilingly: „Well, I'm glad you're the next chief. We could rule together!" I winked at him, and he smiled, too.

We listened to the music for a while. It was one of my favorite songs – Fate was definitely mocking me. It was a song I had listened to a million times after the break-up. Usually I felt sad when it was playing, but right now I felt different. My heart was beating at a very fast rate, and I began sweating lightly. Jacob's face became bigger as he came nearer, and I was absolutely downright convinced that this time, the kiss would actually happen.

But right before I could close my eyes, Seth opened the door and asked: „Hey Leah, do you have the telephone?" Anger boiled up in me like water in a kettle, but it wasn't Seth's fault he had interrupted us. I couldn't be angry at him now without explaining why. So instead of exploding – which I really wanted to do – I jumped up to get the telephone and give it to Seth. Seth grinned at both of us before he left the room again.

Jacob looked at me for a second before he turned away. Then he looked at me again and said quietly: „I should leave now, it's getting late. Dad asked me to get him from Charlie." I nodded, and I felt as if my face was as red as a tomato. He hugged me in a very awkward way and then went downstairs. I followed him to the door where he hesitantly kissed my cheek and disappeared into the falling darkness.

I looked at the bracelet he had given me for Valentine's Day. Right. Best friends. It looked like we would stay best friends forever. I took a deep breath and told myself to calm down. Jacob was just a child. I couldn't fall in love with a child. What a stupid thought.

Seth appeared right behind me. „Oh, has he left already?" He noticed me staring after my best friend and asked: „Did I interrupt something?" I blinked away the upcoming tears. „No, Seth, everything's fine. Do you still need the phone?" „Nope. Abby wasn't home. It's on the cradle!", he called after me as I hurried into our house. I grabbed the phone and went upstairs into my newly decorated room. I didn't really pay attention to it right now, although it really looked great now.

In my room, I opened a small wooden box in which I had hidden a cell number. I took out the piece of paper. I had a feeling that now was the right time to call Jasper. He would distract me from Jacob.

I dialed the number, and only seconds later, a melodic voice answered: „Who is there?" „Jasper, it's me, Leah." His voice actually sounded glad that I had called him when he said: „Oh! Hello, Leah! How are you? Is everything alright?" I smiled. „Yes, of course. I'm just making a social call." Jasper chuckled. „What a nice idea." „Yeah. Could you say thank you for me to your girlfriend, please? For the garlands. I've redecorated my room, and they're perfect." „Sure." He sounded as if he was smiling. „How very nice to hear from you, Leah", he continued, „After our last encounter I was a little scared you might not want to talk to me again. You have to know that against all my better judgement, I do find you very enjoyable to talk to." „Wow", I grinned, „I'm not sure whether I should take this as a compliment or not." „It was meant as a compliment, Ma'am. You are rather charming, I must say." „You find my impoliteness _charming_?" He was kidding me. Was he? Jasper laughed. „To be honest with you, my dear, it is exactly that specific part about your personality that makes you special." I smiled and was glad that he couldn't see my face. It was astonishing and extremely awesome to get a compliment from someone who didn't know me so well. „Thank you! That's probably the nicest thing one has ever said about this particular part of my personality." „I am glad I could make you happy. Now, is there anything else I can do for you, Ma'am?" I thought for a moment. Why exactly had I called again? Oh right, to distract me from Jacob. But I would never tell Jasper this.

„No, really. I just wanted to talk. I hope I'm not bothering you?" I could hear him chuckle again. „Of course you are not, dear. What do you want to talk about?" „Ehm...", I should have thought about conversation topics before calling him, „how was your week?" Very convincing question. I hated myself sometimes. „Rather boring, to be honest. School is not very interesting at the moment." „At the moment?" I laughed. „Jasper, school is _always _boring. For everyone." „Maybe. But I must confess that there is one thing about school that I do find very interesting." „Really? What's that?" „The people. I think students are very interesting to watch." „Stalker", I grinned. „It does seem a little strange, doesn't it?", he said, and I could definitely hear him laughing now. My comment hadn't even been funny. Maybe he had a 'stalking' insider.

But he had caught my interest. „And what do you find so interesting in students?", I asked. „Well, it is the way they are interacting with each other. There are so many different emotions – people who like each other, wo hate each other, who act like they hate each other but like each other, and of course the other way round. People who hate, fear, dislike, disagree-" „Wow", I interrupted him, „You've named only negative aspects of interacting with each other." „I did?", he sounded surprised, „I did. How curious. Do you know what I think, my dear?" „What do you think?", I asked, grinning constantly. Against all my expectations and prejudices, Jasper Hale really was one of the nicer guys. I liked talking to him. It felt so familiar, so normal. For some reason, I wanted to be his friend. Like Alice had said. Great friends – maybe not. But friends was certainly something I'd like to be. „I think we should definitely meet again", Jasper said, much to my surprise, „I would like to get to know you better. You seem like a sensible and amusing young lady, and it is not very often that I meet someone like you. Besides, my girlfriend thinks we should meet again. She really likes you, and she thinks we will be friends. I do not want to question that possibility, but I do want to know why she thinks that." I snorted. „Yeah, me too. But in any case, I'd like to meet you again as well." „Great!", he sounded really happy, „How about Saturday, 3rd of April?" „Ehm... okay?", I agreed, a little overwhelmed. „Seattle would probably be the best choice. As far as I remember, you did not fail to mention that the Quileute do not like my family, and therefore I assume you do not want to be seen with a Cullen." „Or Hale", I added, and he chuckled. „But Seattle would be okay for you?", he asked again. I couldn't believe it. How thoughtful of him! Alice had been right: Jasper really was a gentleman. „That would be awesome!" Had I sounded too excited? Whatever. I could almost hear Jasper smiling. „Brilliant! I have another idea, please do not take it as an offense. How about you park your car in Port Angeles at a certain time, and we'll drive to Seattle in my car. It is faster, if I remember it correctly." I growled, but unfortunately he was right. „If you insist", I just answered. Jasper laughed. „I will call you again, my dear, to speak with you about the time of our meeting, once the date comes near. I hope that is alright with you?" „Sure!", I answered, „Call me! I'll wait for you." „And I will not disappoint you, Ma'am. I wish you a good night. Sleep well and have beautiful dreams." „Yeah, you too!", I answered, and after he'd hung up, I still had the strange feeling that my last statement had amused him very much.


	20. April's Fool

April's Fool

Two weeks later, I still admired my beautiful new room. Mom loved it, too, and she had said that I should redecorate my parents' bedroom, too. Dad also liked my room, but in his opinion, I could have decorated it a little more Quileute-like – whatever that was, I had no idea.

I woke up on a beautiful Thursday morning. The sky was bright blue – very seldom for the Olympic peninsula. The weather brightened my mood. Yesterday, Alex had called to ask why I hadn't called him and whether I wanted to meet him again, because apparently he really had liked the date. The more he had said, the more I had fought the urge to tell him to leave me alone. But although I usually had no problem with telling people the truth, this time I couldn't. It had seemed impossible for me yesterday to just hang up, but today I wished I had. Just thinking about Alex pissed me off. He had even talked about cars _on the phone_! If I had seen the Mercedes and if I knew the driver since the license plate had been from Forks. If I knew who was that rich. Why did I have to think about it now? Why couldn't I think about something sensible? Like breakfast, for example. All boys were just plain stupid. How could they ever become men? Just thinking about it made me want to scream.

I went to the bathroom, but the door was locked. For the first time in my life, Seth had woken up before me. Which pissed me off even more, because Seth didn't need much time in the bathroom. I did. I needed at least twenty minutes to shower, and to dry my hair took another fifteen minutes. Put that together with make-up and dressing, and I needed almost an hour to get ready for school.

And right now the door was locked. Locked! I'd be late for school again.

I knocked at the door. „Seth!", I shouted, „Open up!" The only thing I could hear was the shower. „Seth Clearwater! If you don't open up and let me in, you can walk to school today and forever!" But my stupid brother ignored me deliberately. I was furious and almost flew downstairs. „Mom!", I cried out, „Seth is blocking the bathroom!" Mom sighed. „Be an adult, dear, and stop acting like a teenager. You have to shorten your bathroom time, anyway." I growled. „Shorten my bathroom time? Are you crazy? You know that I have to get ready!" Mom smiled at me and put a cup of tea on the kitchen table. „Honey, I am very glad that you have found a reason to look good, but you don't need an hour to do so. You're a natural beauty." Natural beauty. That phrase pissed me off. I was not a natural beauty. I was pretty, but apparently not pretty enough for Jacob to kiss me. Fuming, I sat down at the table. „But I need to use the toilet", I said quietly and drank some tea. Mom put a plate with eggs in front of me, and patted my shoulder. „You can use our small toilet, sweetie." Angry, I wolfed down the hot eggs and almost choked on them. „Thanks, Mom. I'll just look whether the bathroom is free now. Otherwise I'll kill my little brother, I really don't mind." Mom sighed again as I walked out of the kitchen.

I took two stairs at one step and knocked at the bathroom door. Seth opened, his hair in a total mess, with the blow dryer in his hands. „Oh, hey Lee. Do you need the bathroom now?" I nodded, trying not to explode. „Yes, I do. Would you be so polite to leave?" He grinned and walked out of the room. Before I could close the door, Seth turned round to me again. „Oh, Leah, by the way, watch out when you step into the shower, there's a big spider in the upper left corner." I shrieked loudly. „Why didn't you make it go away? I hate spiders!" Seth grinned. „I know. It's a surprise for you." Growling and steaming with anger, I slammed the door shut and walked to the shower.

There was no spider.

That was not good. Not good at all. It meant that it had gone somewhere else. And if that was something that I hated more than spiders it was spiders of which I didn't know their whereabouts.

I walked out of the bathroom and into Seth's room. „Seth", I began as calmly as I could, „Where has it gone?" „What?", he asked innocently. „The spider!", I growled. „Oh", Seth smiled a huge smile, „_that _spider. April Fool, my beloved sister."

I almost jumped at Seth in anger. „April Fool? Are you crazy? Who said it's April Fool's Day?" Seth looked out of the window at the clear blue sky. „The calendar. It's the first of April today!" I looked at him in horror. „It's not." „It is." „It's not!" „Look at the calendar!"

April Fool's Day. The most horrible day of the year. More horrible than Valentine's Day. It was the day where it was better to not have any friends. The one where one had to watch out for anything out of the ordinary.

I did like the first of April – as long as I was the one pulling pranks. But it was usually me who was being fooled, and that was why I hated this day.

What was really bad was that I wasn't only friends with Jacob, but also with Quil and Embry, and all three of them were a horrible group of prank-pulling morons. Last year, when Sam and I had still been together, a group of still unknown individuals – of course everyone except for the principal knew who had been that – had put up an 'official' paper that had said there wouldn't be any school on this day because of a problem with the water supply. All students had already started to leave when the teachers had turned up and had corrected the statement. We had had school on that day, and all were asking themselves who had put up this paper. I'd done that, too, until Sam had told me he had found out that it had been Jacob, Embry and Quil. On the same day, Dad had been called to a (fake) council meeting, alongside Billy and Old Quil, who had been very surprised about the sudden and unplanned meeting, too. At the meeting place, after a short time of discussing who had summoned them, a huge bucket of water had drenched the three old men, and the three young idiots had shouted „April Fool!" and had run away. Of course they had been punished, but they had gotten more attention than punishment and therefore they had been very happy.

So it was very understandable that I was a little afraid of today. Especially because Jake was my best friend. Last year – and the year before that – I'd had immunity because I had been Sam's girlfriend, and no one had wanted to mess around with him. But this year, there was no immunity. I actually supposed that being friends with the group of chaos would not help at all, only make things worse.

Moaning, I got ready for school and walked back downstairs to get my things. Mom handed me a peanut butter-and-jelly sandwich, which pissed me off even more than the fact that today was April Fool's Day, because if there was one thing I hated just as much as cheese, it was the combination of peanut butter and jelly. I groaned but took the sandwich anyway. Maybe, if I didn't complain, she would make something better tasting tomorrow.

„Seth!", I shouted upstairs, „I swear, I'll let you walk!" „Alright, alright!", I could hear my brother shouting back. He then jumped downstairs and grabbed the sandwich that was still in my hand. „Thanks, Lee", he smiled and walked out of the door, he turned round. „Are you coming, or what?" I shook my head in annoyance and followed him out of the door.

I was almost too late today for school because Jacob had been very late as well. I growled quietly at the group of Jared, Paul and Kim and walked up to my locker. A piece of paper was pinned to it. „Locker changed, new number 56". I ripped the piece of paper apart and opened my locker. The sign was just a joke, of that I was sure. But when I looked inside, all my things had been gone. I saw books that I had last seen in Freshmen year. Meaning that someone had taken my things away and put them somewhere else. My things! Someone. Had. Touched. My. Stuff. And that someone was going to pay.

When I turned round to complain to the only person that was near, I saw that Jacob was grinning. „Looking for your school stuff?" I shot him an evil glance. „What do you know about the locker change?" He shrugged. „Nothing." „But they can't touch my stuff! It's private! They can't touch and move my private things!" Why did this day have to be so stupid? I had been in such a good mood this morning, and slowly, but steadily, that mood had become bad. April Fool was the most unnecessary day of the year. It didn't make any sense to have a day where people could be kidded on purpose... on a very bad purpose, that was. I hated that day. I really did. Why did one celebrate a day of pranks?  
„Maybe you should just look at locker number 56?", Jacob proposed. I growled and walked to the other locker. „And how am I supposed to open it?" Jacob shrugged. „You have to wait for-", he took a look at the locker, „- Embry. That's his locker." Some strange feeling was creeping up my back. „What about your locker? Has it been changed, too?" „Err... no." He looked like he'd been caught with something. „Jacob", I said menacingly, „The other lockers haven't been changed either, have they?" „Err...", he stuttered, „I don't know-" And then he covered his ears when I exploded.

„Jacob Black, that is so not funny! You tell Call to remove his fucking things from MY fucking locker, and if that doesn't happen before lunch, I swear I will kill all of you and your family members, too. Your family trees will be wiped out! There won't be any future Blacks or Calls or Atearas! So move your fat, annoying ass and get my things out of Call's freaking locker!" I realized that people were walking past us very quickly. They should be running. I was on a tantrum, and everyone had found out in the last couple of months that getting on my bad side was the most horrible experience ever. Jacob was getting smaller and smaller every second. He knew exactly that he had gone too far. Touching private stuff was off limits., and he knew that. But he tried to save the situation (which actually was a very bad idea because that usually made me even angrier): „But it's only school stuff, Lee. It's not really private. I'm sorry, honestly. I thought that maybe you'd find it funny." „Funny? FUNNY? How well do you know me, Jacob? Only school stuff – are you crazy? Imagine what you could have found! A diary, a piece of paper from Sam, a love letter, chewing gum, old sweets, condoms- fact is that my fucking stuff is off limits for each one of you crazy morons!" Jacob tried not to laugh when I said 'condoms', and that pissed me off. What a child he was sometimes!

He held his hands up in defense. „I am sorry, Leah." I looked deep in his eyes. „Whose idea was it, anyway?" Jacob looked aside. „Who was it?", I snarled. Jacob still didn't answer. The bell rang, announcing that I had little time left. „WHO, JACOB?", I almost shouted. „Embry", he mumbled, "It actually seemed like a pretty good idea." „Yeah, well, I hope next time, you have a better idea, 'cause this one was lame. See you at lunch." And I walked away to get to my History lesson.

Had I been too harsh? No. It had been a stupid idea for this stupid day. I hated today more than Valentine's Day!

I had to think of a punishment, of that I was sure. The stupid group of childish jackasses would get what they deserved. A big fat kick in the ass. Metaphorically, of course. Or maybe not. Of _that_, I wasn't so sure yet.

At lunch, Embry sheepishly handed me my things. „Sorry, Leah. We didn't know you'd react like that." I growled at him. „Well, it's all private, Call. You should have known." He shrugged. „We're sorry." „You should be sorry", I snarled and sat down. Jacob's face was red. I knew he was embarrassed, so I said in a friendly tone: „Jake, look. Sorry for yelling at you. It's just that I was scared you might find something very secret and private. See, I can't remember all the stuff that I've collected in there over the years. The locker's been mine ever since first grade. You have absolutely no idea what crap I have made in my past – and I can't really remember, too. I don't want anyone to see what I don't want to see, too. So please, next year, think of something else." Jacob half-smiled. „Okay. Sorry." I grinned. Sometimes, he was an annoying fifteen-year-old kid. Stressing the word _kid _here. „Lee", he asked after a short while, „Would you like to come over tonight? Dad and Harry want to meet, and I thought that maybe you'd like to do something with me. Talking, watching stupid videos on YouTube, stuff like that." „Hm. Let me think. I have to work today, but after that, sure, why not!" Jacob beamed. „I'll make up for the bad joke, I promise!", he reassured me. That made me laugh. „Jeez, Jake! It's okay! Don't think too much about it." I glanced at Embry. „It's Call who should worry." Embry looked at me, alarmed. „I am sorry, Leah!", he started, „We didn't mean to- I mean, we did, but... you know what we... right?" I sighed. „Embry, shut up." He did as I said. Apparently he didn't want me to get pissed. Good idea. Me being pissed was certainly something that people should try to avoid. For their own sake.

At 8 o'clock that night, Dad and I turned up at the Blacks' house. Jacob already waited for me. „Hey Lee, dinner's almost ready. Come up to my room, I have to show you a video. It's hilarious!" I followed Jacob into his room, leaving Dad – who was carrying three bottles of beer – and Billy to chat alone in the kitchen., and sat down in front of the computer. YouTube was on, but before Jacob could show me anything, I said: „Alex has called me yesterday." Jacob almost choked. „He did? What did he want?" „To meet me again. I might have to kill him next time, though. I can't stand his stupid monologue about cars." Jacob pressed his lips together. „Just say no." „I'm not calling him!", I said horrified, „He might think I actually like him!" Now Jacob started to laugh. „But you usually have no problem with telling people that you don't like them!" I half-smiled. „I _know_! what I don't know is why I couldn't tell _him_?" I looked at my grinning best friend and poked my finger into his chest. „It's your fault", I growled, half joking, half in earnest. „_My_ fault?" Jake stared at me. „Yeah, well, you made me be nice!", I exclaimed, „NICE! I'm not nice. I've never been nice. I don't want to be nice!" Jacob looked at me in shock. Then, after half a minute, he started to laugh so hard that he had tears in his eyes. „You're hilarious, Lee! But it's not my fault. You became nice all by yourself." He ducked because I was about to slap him. „I just told you, I'm. Not. Nice." „Then what do you want to do about Alex?" „I will ignore him on purpose. That should send him a message. Yes, that's a pretty good idea. I will ignore him. Thank you, Jacob." He looked confused. „For what?" „I don't know. Now, what video did you want to show me?"

The video was an ultra hilarious video by two Asian looking guys who had filmed a manual on how to be ninja. I was laughing so hard that we both didn't hear Billy calling us for dinner, so that Dad had to come to Jake's room and knock at the door. „Hey children, are you coming to dinner?" „Yes!", Jacob called back. „No", I hissed, „At least stop calling me a child!" My dad made a funny noise. „You're more annoying than your mother." „I'll tell her that!", I said loudly. Dad sighed. „Now, folks. Dinner. I'm not saying it again."

Jacob and I got up and walked into the living room. The TV was on of course, and in front of it sat Charlie Swan.

Just because I didn't like Bella, that didn't mean that I didn't like Charlie, too. I liked Charlie a lot. Billy, Charlie and Dad had been friends for a very long time. In fact, Billy and Dad had helped Charlie to get through his divorce and through the pain that came from being separated from his daughter. Maybe that was another reason why I didn't like Bella Swan. Of course I knew that it hadn't been her fault that Renée had decided to leave Forks and Charlie, but it _had _been her fault to decide to not visit him anymore. Charlie was way too nice for someone as selfish as Bella. As far as Dad had told me, Bella had decided to move to Forks so her mother could move around with her minor league baseball player, not because she had wanted to stay with her dad.

I really liked Chief Swan.

„Hey Charlie!", Jacob grinned, „How's Bella?" Uh. I should have known that Jacob would ask about her. „She's okay. She feels way better. But she still can't really walk. Might take a while until she can." I hid a small cruel smile that didn't belong to the kind of Leah that I was at the moment, but more to my darker personality.

Charlie turned to me. „Hello Leah! Haven't seen you in a while! You're okay?" I nodded and smiled. „Yeah, everything's great. How are you?" „A little overworked, but I always feel great with my two best friends." He looked at the empty table in front of him. „And my beer. Harry! Where's the beer?" My dad stepped out of the kitchen and put a bowl of Mom's potato salad on the table. „What is it?", he asked, not having heard Charlie's question. „Where's the beer? We need our beer." Dad grinned and nodded. „I'll get it for you."

Billy wheeled into the living room, carrying plates and forks in his lap and a bowl with hot sausages in his hands. „Beer!", he exclaimed, „That's actually a pretty good idea."

Dad disappeared and returned minutes later with the three bottles. I realized they had no etiquettes, but it was probably just the favorite beer of the three men. Dad handed Billy and Charlie a bottle, and I saw a small mischievous smile on his lips. That was not a very good sign.

Billy eyed the bottle suspiciously. „What kind of beer is that?" „Oh", Dad smiled, „A very tasty one. Brewed by locals. Biological. Great, isn't it?" Billy's and Charlie's expressions turned from suspicious to impressed, and they opened their bottles and drank a bit. They spat it out immediately. „That's not beer! It can't be beer! It tastes horrible!" Charlie made a face. „Sorry, Harry, but I think I like the normal beer better. It's really nice of you to support locals, but that's not beer for me." Dad looked sad, but then a small smile crept up his face. „It's not only not beer for you, it actually is not beer at all – APRIL FOOL!" He almost shouted the last words in excitement. Apparently Jacob wasn't the only child in La Push. Charlie and Billy looked at each other before they broke out in roaring laughter. „What a great idea!", Billy exclaimed, „It could have been mine!" „Well, it wasn't. It was mine", Dad grinned and laughed with them. Charlie smelled at the bottle. „What have you used?" Dad's grin was huge. „Olive oil!" They laughed so loudly that it started to hurt my ears. „That is brilliant!", Billy roared, and now Jake and I had to laugh, too. Oil for beer, that was hilarious. Dad winked at me, and finally, everyone calmed down.

We sat down and ate the potato salad while the TV was on and showed some documentary about truck races. Charlie had brought muffins for dessert, and then the three still snickering men threw Jacob and me out of the living room because they wanted to 'talk'. That was their code for watching TV and laugh at stupid comedies.

It was already very late when we said good-bye. Jacob kissed my cheek and promised to be on time tomorrow. For some reason, he had been very late the last week. I gave him a big hug. „If I'm not there in the morning, you don't have to wait for me", he said sheepishly. I faked a slap. „Are you crazy? You're more important than being on time for school! Just _try _to be on time, okay? You don't want me to get mad again." Jacob nodded and grinned. I kissed his cheek and walked with Dad to my car, when suddenly my cell phone rang. I thought that it might be Jacob being stupid, but when I looked at the number, I recognized it as being Jasper's. It was a text message.

Saturday, 1 p.m. in front of the Bella Italia. Meet you there. Jasper

I grinned and typed back a quick „Okay" before I opened the doors to my car. Dad was humming a sitcom melody. As I drove us home, he cleared his throat. „Honey", he began, with a dead serious tone, „You know that we have to continue our tribal education. I need to tell you a lot more stories. You have only heard the one about our origin. But there are a lot more. I hope that you're ready to hear them?" I nodded, although I still wasn't very keen on listening to all this mythical nonsense. But I'd do my father that favor. I loved him too much to say no.

Dad smiled. „Great! I'm going to tell you one story every Sunday night. So please be prepared, okay?" I nodded again, thinking about all the other stuff that I could do on a Sunday night. But if it would make Dad happy...

I sighed silently. Being an Indian and keeping our traditions wasn't easy. I just hoped I wouldn't get too involved. I still wanted to flee this land as soon as I'd finish High School.

Just a year to go...

**As you all probably know already, I usually try to update this story every Monday. This week, I'll make an exception, because on Thursday, there is my birthday (YAY!) and I want to give those who so faithfully read my story every week a little present on my own.**

**I'd also like to hit the 100 reviews this week (meaning I'd be happy if I had 100 reviews next Monday, not on this Thursday!) – which is gonna be really hard work since I have 76 right now – but I would be happy if you gave me a review for my birthday. **

**I'm sorry for this request, usually I don't really like the 'begging-for-reviews' author's note, but it's more of a plea for a birthday present for my creativity – it will be nineteen on Thursday.**

**Thank you very much for sticking with Leah.**

**I promise you (well, you can decide for yourself whether you see it as a promise or as a threat ;-)) that this story will take a loooooooooooooong while to come to an end. I really hope you all stick with my favorite pack member until the very end.**

**See you on Thursday ;-) **


	21. Lie and Prejudice

**So...Today I have to cite Leah: Happy Birthday to me! (03/17/11) **

**As I have promised you on Monday, I have uploaded chapter 21 as my very special birthday present to you and to me.  
**

**A short remark before you start reading this chapter: As you know, I'm not a native speaker, therefore I have absolutely no clue about American accents. I have googled to find out how a Southern accent may sound and tried to adapt at least parts of it so you can see when my favorite vampire switches accents. I'm sorry if I got it wrong, and if you can guess where he talks with his own accent, just imagine it a lot more southern** .

Lie and Prejudice

On Saturday morning, I woke up with a nervous feeling. Probably because I had actually planned to meet one of the Cullen freaks. Another reason was maybe that strange dream I had had right before waking up. Last night, I hadn't been able to sleep, so I had made myself a cup of hot milk with honey and had taken some chocolate chip cookies. I had walked back upstairs and had surfed on the internet. A fun activity that I always liked to do was clicking 'random article' on . If it was interesting, I read the text. Last night, I had done that until 3 a.m., reading random articles. Among those had been articles about the Mont Ventoux, Gauntlet of the Inhumans, Wednesday, Balinese Dance, The Covington News and Gandhi.

So when I had finally gone to sleep, I had started dreaming about standing on a huge mountain while reading a newspaper when suddenly a superhero and Gandhi had appeared to talk about civil disobedience. Pretty funny, if the dream hadn't turned into a nightmare. Gandhi and the hero had disappeared, still talking of methods on how to bea tyranny, when I had heard a loud growl not far away from me. I had still stood on the mountain, but it had gotten dark, and when I'd turned round to see what had growled, when out of nowhere a humongous white wolf had come jumping at me. I had started to run for my life, the wolf following me. My heart had beaten faster than ever, and I had run with all the speed I had, but in my dream I had known that the wolf would catch me eventually. Kill me, probably. But I had kept on running, and running and sweating, I had woken up.

Still sweating, I stepped inside the shower and didn't come out there for twenty minutes. The hot water distracted me from the scary dream, and my heart calmed down. When I left the shower, I had almost forgotten about the nightmare.

I walked back to my room to decide what to wear. It wasn't a date, so usually I wouldn't care much about my appearance, but Jasper was not a good friend, and I had a feeling that I just had to look acceptable.

I rummaged through my clothes, like always, until I found a black blazer that belonged to Mom – I usually stole her clothes because hers were a lot cooler than mine.

Outside, the rain was pouring against my windows, so I decided that taking an umbrella would be pretty sensible. I also managed to find a pair of loose-fitting jeans, which were a lot more comfortable than skinny ones. I also put on my checked flannel blouse and then my pair of cream white fake All Star sneakers. They were fake because I didn't have enough money for the real thing. But they looked just as good, and I didn't care much about brands, anyway.

I blow-dried my hair and tied it into a pony tail. I loved my long black hair. I also loved my skin. White people could look pretty sick sometimes, but my skin would always be reddish-brown. When talking about looks, I was really glad to be Native American.

I thought about putting on make-up, but decided not to. This wasn't a date; I wouldn't go through all the trouble for a friend. Or, worse, a soon-to-be-friend.

I ate lunch and told Mom I wanted to drive to Port Angeles today. Great, Jasper wasn't even a good friend of mine, and here I was, already lying for him. Mom smiled. „Okay, but could you do the groceries for me, then? I'll make you a list and give you the money." I nodded. Jasper wouldn't mind, of that I was sure. He was too polite to mind.

Half an hour later I put on my leather jacket, took the purse and an umbrella and went to my car. Suddenly my brother shouted from behind me: „Lee, can you bring me some candy? M&Ms would be nice!" „Sure!", I shouted back. I felt like being nice today. Maybe because I wasn't stressed with the thought of meeting Jasper. It wasn't a date, so it could only be great. Jasper was the only person I knew whom I trusted to meet someone and not fall in love with them. I'd seen him and Alice together, and I could just feel that nothing would be able to change their relationship.

It was the same feeling with Sam and Emily. Only that Sam and Emily as a couple pissed me off, while I didn't care much about Jasper and Alice.

I drove to Port Angeles in a hurry because I didn't want to be late. Jasper looked like a very punctual guy.

I parked not far from the _Bella Italia_ and walked as calmly as I could towards a honey blond figure in front of it. „Hello", I said in a small voice. Jasper turned round, and a relaxed smile was on his face. He bowed his head a little. „Hello Leah. How are you?" „Great! And you?" „I am fine, thank you. So, would you like to walk with me to my car?" I shifted weight from one foot to the other. „Well, Mom wants me to do the groceries, so I have to go to the supermarket..." Jasper smiled. „Of course. But I propose to do that when we return. Some products are better off in a fridge as fast as possible. The milk might get sour." I nodded, a little surprised. „I thought you don't cook?" „Well, I do go shopping, and my adoptive mother tends to get angry when I need too long. The ice cream might melt, you know?" I grinned. „Besides", he continued, „I have started to learn cooking. It's not as hard as I thought it is. I can do scrambled eggs and pancakes and other food one would want for breakfast." „Really?" I was impressed. „Maybe I'll come over one morning, to test your skills." He grinned. „I would not mind, Ma'am. Now, are you ready to go to Seattle?" „Are you?", I asked back and followed him to his shiny black car. I had to think about Alex and his heart attack because of this car. Poor Alex – I would definitely never meet him again.

Jasper opened the door for me and let me get in before he shut it. He then walked to the other side and let himself fall on the driver's seat. „Do you want to listen to music?" I nodded, and he pressed the power button of the radio and turned it on. A Beatles song was playing. Jasper looked at me. „You like the Beatles", he stated, and I simply nodded. They had made awesome music.

Chuckling, Jasper began driving. He was fast – a little too fast for my taste, but then, I wasn't accustomed to fast cars. I leaned back in the seat. Jasper smiled at me. „Thank you for meeting me again, Leah, I was really afraid that you might not want to meet me again. It is very different to talk to you, and I like it a lot. You are so... full of life." I blinked. „Okay, okay, you can stop making compliments now. I like you." Jasper grinned. „I am sorry. It is just that I was raised like that, you know." „Making compliments?" He nodded. „Exactly. Only that it wasn't called 'making compliments' where I was raised. We called it chivalry." I snorted loudly. „And where do you come from exactly? The Middle Ages? Honestly, where does chivalry play a role nowadays?" „Not here, apparently", he stated. I sighed. „Really? Haven't noticed that. But you can stop that now." „Is that so? I have come to notice that women nowadays actually need a lot more chivalry." He winked at me and sped up. Now it was much too fast for my taste. „Why are you feeling uncomfortable?", he asked. I tried not to ask myself how he could know how I was feeling and simply asked: „Could you drive a little slower, please?" He nodded. „Of course, Ma'am. I'm sorry. I just try to be in Seattle as fast as I can." „What do we want to do there, anyway? You said you wanted to chat with me. About what?" He smiled. „Oh, just about this and that. I am sure we will find something." „Okay." I concentrated on the music, and we both were silent for a while.

Finally, we reached downtown Seattle. „Any idea where to go?", I asked as we got out of the car, feeling a little awkward. Sitting next to Jasper had felt so familiar. Familiarity seemed to be the best word to describe what I felt when being with him. I also felt comfortable with him, although a stupid tiny little voice inside of me constantly warned me about him. I ignored it. Jasper wasn't dangerous. Only when he drove a car.

„There is a beautiful café not far from here", he said and smiled at me, „Woud you like to go there? They serve excellent tea." I snorted. „What are you, English?" Jasper raised one eyebrow. „It is a common prejudice that only people from the British Isles like to drink tea. Alice informed me that you like to enjoy a cup of Earl Grey yourself." I was about to say something, but he added: „Besides, I'm of Irish origin."

That caught my attention immediately. If your forefathers had immigrated to the US thousands of years ago, people with other backgrounds could become quite interesting. „Ireland?", I asked. He nodded. „But you don't have red hair and freckles", I stated, but only to annoy him. I knew it was just a prejudice, and some people got awfully angry about prejudices. I just wanted to check whether he was one of them.

He smiled. „You know, Leah, I won't get angry only because you unpack every prejudice, may it be true or false." My face turned red. Awesome, really awesome. Jasper was good at reading people.

„Okay!", I said, trying to maintain a cool grin, „I'm sorry." He winked at me and let me into a smaller street.

„Where's this café you were talking about earlier?" Jasper pointed at a little building at the end of the street. „It's called _The Yellow Rose Café_. Are you okay with that place?" „Sure! I don't know anything here anyway. Just Starbucks." Jasper chuckled. „I do not like chain restaurants. That is also the reason why I don't like McDonald's." I rolled my eyes. „Looks like someone doesn't like mass conformity." „Exactly. Do you?" I shook my head. „But it's hard to avoid these days."

I could now see the café properly. It was a small white house with a veranda where one could sit, too. A small sign said „The Yellow Rose Café", and to underline the name, yellow roses stood everywhere. The chairs and tables outside where made of white wood, and no chair looked like another.

„It's grand, isn't it?", Jasper asked as we stepped onto the veranda. 'Grand' seemed like an odd choice of word for me, but I quickly forgot about that when I entered the café. The tables inside were mostly brown, and although there were some wooden chairs, the majority of the seats were light blue or yellow armchairs and couches. On the tables stood candles, and behind the counter stood a young woman who looked at Jasper as if she'd drop dead instantly if he didn't kiss her now. I felt a little irritated by that. I mean, it was just Jasper! Sure, he was kind of pretty, but not head-over-heels style. „Would you mind if we sit down at a table upstairs?", Jasper suddenly asked me, „I like the view through the windows." I nodded and followed him upstairs, where it looked very much like the room I'd just left.

Jasper chose the table at the far end of the room, close to a hidden door which sign said „Emergency exit". Jasper moved an armchair for me so I could sit down, and he smiled widely when I thanked him for that.

I felt anger boiling up in me. Why was I getting angry?

Oh right. It started feeling like a date, and I didn't want to date Jasper. Right now, I didn't want to date anyone at the moment.

„Are you uncomfortable?", Jasper asked worried. „No, it's just-", truth could never hurt, I reminded myself, „- I'm just feeling a little weird. Like on a date, although I know this is none." Jasper smiled. „No. I assure you that if I had wanted to date you, I would have asked differently. Although I can of course understand why anyone would want to date you. But I swear, I just want to be your friend." „Good", I answered and grinned at him, „Because I just want to be your friend, too." He smiled and handed me the menu. „Go on and order whatever you want", he said. I looked at him, hopefully furious. „Look, Mr Friend, this is not a date, so I can pay for myself." „I think I've already told you that where I was raised, it is customary for a man to invite the lady, even if it is not a date", Jasper said. „Yeah, well, but in case you haven't noticed, I'm a freaking woman of the 21st century, I don't need no pseudo gentleman trying to push me back into the old role allocation!" I got all worked up suddenly. I hated being patronized, and it felt exactly like that right now.

Jasper blinked a few times, and then I suddenly calmed down. I didn't know why I had started to fight anyway. Really embarrassing reaction. And then all of the sudden I got angry again because I was feeling embarrassed about getting angry. Only that now, I was angry at myself, not at Jasper.

„You get huffy dreadfully fast", Jasper stated. I snorted. „So what?" He shrugged. „So nothing. I find you more and more intriguing, to be honest." „You find me being annoyed intriguing?" He shook his head. „It's not only you being annoyed. It's all of your emotions. I have never met anyone so emotional before – and I mean it as a compliment." I couldn't say anything against that now, so I just sated: „You're still not paying for me, Mr Calm." „Well, where I come from, it is common for someone like me to invite-" I interrupted him. „Yeah, you've said that before. But this is the 21st century. Women can pay for themselves!" I saw a strange flash in Jasper's golden eyes – a dangerous flash that looked like anger. „Yeah, they can. But they shouldn't. Especially not if the gentleman accompanyin' the lady is a spoiled rich billionaire. Don't you argue with me, Miss Clearwater, it aggravates me." The 'me' sounded more like 'may', and I was pretty sure he'd said 'aggervated'. His accent had changed anyway. It had sounded a lot more like loud mumbling, and it had become difficult to understand every word. But the accent also reminded me of something that I had heard a long time ago.

He did seem pretty pissed, but I wasn't going to give in. This was the typical gender battle I had fought for years. The only person in my surroundings who was still patronizing me was my dad, and he was my dad! So I surely wouldn't give in to some rich brat who wanted to be my friend.

Jasper sighed. „Ah'm sorry, Leah. Ah made you angry, didn't Ah?" I nodded. He smiled. „Ah understand yer wish for independence, Leah." He smiled again, and his eyes suddenly looked at a place that wasn't in this room or even outside the window. This man was getting weirder every time I that I met him.

„Ah once knew a woman who was exactly like you", he continued in his strange accent – was it southern? „She was a Native as well, but she was far away from her real home. She had this fierce independence and an uncanny wish for freedom. Ah-", he thought for a moment, „Ah knew her when Ah was little. She was my father's best friend. He promised her to take her home, but he died before he could fulfill that promise." His eyes looked very sad, as if he was about to cry. I couldn't understand why. If it had been his father's friend, why was he so sad about that? After all, he had told me that his parents had died when he and his sister had both been very little.

Jasper blinked a few times before he continued: „In any case, she was just like you. It was hard to convince her of letting someone do anything for her. She didn't want to be patronized. Ah don't wanna patronize you, Leah, nor do Ah wanna steal yer freedom. Ah just wanna be polite. Give an ol' gentleman a break." He looked at me with glittering eyes. „Please?", he added, looking so sweet that no one, not even me, could have said no.

„So, what do you want to order?", he asked after a few seconds. I noticed that his accent had almost completely disappeared. Weird.

I opened the menu and studied the drinks. „I'll take a coke", I said with a sigh, still feeling uncomfortable about him paying, „And the pancakes, but without the maple syrup." I didn't like maple syrup. „What's your order?" „Just the red berries infusion", he smiled. „You don't want to eat anything?" He nodded. „I'm not hungry. I had a pretty good lunch."

The waitress came from downstairs and smiled at Jasper with brilliant white teeth. She was a pretty girl, and I knew tons of boys who'd stare at her even with their own girlfriend sitting next to them. But not Jasper Hale. He threw a quick glance at her and ordered his tea in a very commanding tone. „And what would your girlfriend like to order?", she said with a voice that was heavy with jealousy and without even looking at me. „I'm-", I started to protest – after all, I definitely wasn't his girlfriend – but Jasper shot me a silencing glance and I shut my mouth. „My girlfriend", he put a lot of stress onto that word, „would like a coke and the pancakes without maple syrup. So it would be great if you added cinnamon and sugar to this order. And make it a fast one, I want to be alone with her. Thank you." The dismissal was almost army-style, and the waitress seemed pretty down when she walked away. I blinked at Jasper. „Why did you say I was your girlfriend?", I asked pissed. He chuckled. „I'm sorry, but I didn't want her to come up here more often than necessary, which she would have done if I hadn't told her you were my girlfriend. I seem to have an attracting power on people, especially on women, for some strange reason." He said the last part with a bitter tone that I didn't understand. „Have you ever looked into a mirror?", I asked, grinning at him, „You're an awfully handsome man." Jasper looked at me and smiled, a surprised expression on his face. „Why, thank you! You are quite the looker yourself." I grinned sheepishly. „Anyway, you shouldn't have talked to her like that. She's probably frightened of you now." „And sometimes, my dear, being frightened might be better than having no respect at all." „That might be true, but we're not in the military here, you know?" Jasper looked at me for a second with questioning eyes before he smiled. „Not in the military, huh? That's sad. I like the military." I snorted. „Then join the US Army after High School – what's up?" He had suddenly made a face as if he was about to puke. „US Army, no thank you. Ah'd rather hang myself than have a US on my uniform!"

I stared at him, shocked. First of all, he had suddenly switched to this weird accent again, which was really hard to understand – of what I knew about the Southern accent, it just had to be it! - and when I had finally understood what he's said I was shocked that he'd said what he had said.

„Wow, you feel very-", I tried to find the right word, „-strong about the US Army." Jasper smiled a very small smile. „About the US in general, I must confess."

The waitress returned and put the cup of tea in front of Jasper. The tea had a very pretty color – it was blood red. Jasper smiled at the tea while the waitress put the coke and the pancakes with a loud bang in front of me. She seemed pissed, probably because she thought she had no chance with Jasper. Poor girl – even without me, she wouldn't have a chance. Jasper and Alice were way too much in love. They would _never_ go separate ways, similar to - cough - Emily and -puke - Sam.

The waitress disappeared again and I turned back to Jasper.

„Why do you feel like that?", I asked. He was not getting away with that statement. He was American, for crying out loud! He was getting more and more mysterious. Jasper took a deep breath and sipped at his tea. Then he looked at me again, and a proud grin appeared on his face.

„Because I was raised a Confederate!"

I almost choked on my pancakes and took a gulp of coke to keep me from suffocating. I then took another bite of the pancakes because I wasn't sure what to say. I chewed for a minute or so before I finally said: „Honestly, Jasper, you are getting weirder every time I meet you." He didn't seem to understand because he asked: „Why is that so?"

I took a deep breath and said: „Well, when we met in Port Angeles after my horrible date, you told me that your parents died when you and your sister were both very young. You said that it might have been in one of the Southern states. Now you're telling me you're Irish and that you actually do remember your father's best friend, although you've said earlier that your memory is all very dizzy. And then you're telling me you're a Confederate? Really, Jasper, who are you? Because if you're lying to me, please stop that. Friends are supposed to trust each other, you know."

Jasper emptied his cup and I was afraid he might leave. But he just sighed and looked sadly at me. „My dear, you're far too smart to me. How can I explain this to you... Me and my family, we have to tell lies. Most people wouldn't understand our way of living. Lying is much easier then trying to explain... Besides, we're bound to lie... Maybe you can compare it to being in a witness protection program. We're not, but it's very similar. I can't tell you, but can you forgive me for lying to you?" I snorted and finished my pancakes. „Do I even want to know the truth?", I asked, not very convinced. He smiled. „I don't know. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. You're a sensible young woman, with all her life ahead of her, and of an origin that is much more knowing of some things than the rest of the world. I think you would be able to cope with it eventually, but first, you would have to believe me, and I don't want to risk our friendship now. Let me lie to you a little more, please." I snorted very loudly. „Now _that_'s a great way to start a friendship." Jasper looked angry with himself, and sad, too. „Ah know, Ah know", he said almost desperately, and I started to feel sorry for him. It was funny how he fell back into his accent every time he got angry or sad. „But Ah'm beggin' you to gimme a chance. Ah need to be yer friend. Ah want you as my friend. Please, Leah. Ma'am?" „Fine!", I sighed, a little amused by his behaviour, „Just continue lying to me. Maybe I'll figure out on my own what is wrong with you people." Jasper laughed, but it sounded a little desperate. „Yes, that describes us best", he muttered, „Wrong."

This time, I did hit him. It hurt pretty much – his muscles must be made of stone or something like that – but I didn't care, because this time, he deserved it. „Ouch!", he complained, „Why'd you do that?" I realized that he hadn't stopped talking with his accent, and for some reason, I felt very comfortable with his voice. I could understand every word he was saying, although his accent was becoming very strong. I had heard once that the Southern accent was horrible to listen to if one wasn't Southern. „Because you've said that being wrong describes you best, and that's, well, just _wrong_!" „You don't know me that well." I snorted. „So what? You're not wrong. How really stupid to say something like that." He threw me a quick questioning glance. „You wouldn't talk like this if you – but that's not important right now." I emptied my glass of coke. „If you say so." I stared at him for a while before I asked: „Is your name really Jasper Hale?" „Why?" „Just wondering." He smiled. „And again, you're right to ask. Yes, Ah'm called Jasper." I raised an eyebrow. „But not Hale", I stated, waiting for his reaction. He gave me a short little nod before he stood up. „Let us go downstairs. Ah wanna pay and leave this café." I stood up, too. „Whatever you say." I wouldn't forget to ask about his name, he could be as evasive as he wanted to.

Together, we walked downstairs, and growling, I let him pay. The waitress continued to look hopefully at him, even when we were on our way out. When we were outside, Jasper breathed in. „Fresh air", he sighed, „Is something that Ah truly miss."

With that strange comment, an idea hit me, and I stopped walking. Jasper stopped walking immediately. „What's up?", he asked, worried. A huge grin appeared on my face. „Look, Mr Not-Hale, I have a proposition for you – a truce, so to speak." He smiled suddenly. „Ah'm listenin'." I had to grin at this accent. It could only be southern, but I couldn't tell from where exactly. I took a deep breath. „Well, you just say whatever comes to your mind. I don't ask any questions. I just make up my mind, and if I have a particularly good idea, I'll tell you and you can say yes or no. Is that okay with you?" He raised an eyebrow. „So you mean that Ah just continue to talk and let slip some information that you shouldn't get, actually." „Yes, that's what I mean." We continued to walk. „Ah don't know, darlin'", yes, that sounded definitely southern to me, „That seems like a very sorry idea." I moaned. „Listen more closely, Mr Not-Hale, what I mean is that you continue lying to me as much as you want, but only as long as it helps you to keep that secret of yours. And I promise to ignore any discrepancy in your story." „But you'll make up yer own?" I grinned. „Can't help it." He smiled. „Fine. Ah agree with that. But you'll have to tell me yer story." „Great!", I beamed, „Then we have a deal."

We walked next to each other in silence for a while before Jasper asked: „Would you like to go shoppin' now? For clothes, Ah mean, not groceries. Ah mean, what else would you do all day in a city." I nodded, because I also had to buy the present for my brother. „Okay", I said and smiled sheepishly, „You wouldn't pay for me now, would you?" Jasper smiled a huge grin. „I certainly would, darlin', if you let me. But I know you won't." „How can you know that? You're a freaking millionaire-" „Billionaire, darlin', billionaire." „Damn, whatever, a billionaire then, anyway, you've got tons of money, how can you know I'm not trying to use you for my own advantages?" Jasper led me around another corner and I could already see some stores. He held his hand up, and I linked arms with him. It felt a little funny, not warm at all, and very hard. Too hard for human flesh in my opinion, but maybe he trained a lot and had built up a lot of muscles. Jasper chuckled again before he said: „If you were so keen on saving your money and using me for your own good", I realized that his accent had switched back to normal, „you wouldn't protest any time that I try to invite you. Second, you've asked my girlfriend how much money you owe her for the garlands instead of just taking them with you, and third, I can feel that you don't really mean what you've just said." I moaned again. „Isn't there _anything _that makes you mad?" He laughed. „That's what you're trying to do? Getting me mad?" „Well, at least I want to know what pisses you off so I can avoid it." „You mean use it." „I mean both!", I corrected and grinned at him. „Well, mostly injustice, and then being used, of course. I don't like lying much, either, but I can sense a lie pretty fast, so it's not very easy to lie to me." „Honestly? I wanna try out. Let's make a test." „A test?" „Yeah, I'll tell you something and you're gonna say whether it's a lie or not." He looked sceptical, but he nodded. „You, Miss Clearwater, have the funniest ideas. Start please." I thought for a moment while we were walking towards a store that sold shoes, gym clothes and home wear. „I'm eighteen years old", I stated after we'd entered the store. „True", he answered before he looked around and asked: „Now what exactly are we doing here?" „I need new pants", I stated. „This store doesn't sell jeans." I rolled my eyes. „Yeah, I know. I need new comfortable pants to relax in." „Oh." He nodded. „Continue your test then." „Pink is my favorite color", I said after seeing neon pink trainers. „A big fat lie. That's too easy, make it more difficult." I found a pair of gray shorts and a sweat jacket of the same color. „Okay. Wait. I have to think of something. I don't like Isabella Swan." „True", he grinned, „Although I could argue that you almost hate her, which is a much stronger emotion than just dislike." I walked with the clothes to the cashier. „I want to leave La Push." „Oh yes, you do."

After I had payed for the clothes, we left the store and walked to a store where they sold DVDs and CD players and stuff like that. I had decided to give my brother a white iPod shuffle for his birthday. „I love cheese." „You hate cheese", he corrected my statement, „Continue." „I find your sister Rosalie very nice." „A lie. Although Rosie really is a nice girl. You two should get to know each other more." „Yeah, whatever. Okay, last one. When I was five years old, Dad gave me a doll for my birthday." He stopped walking and looked at me for a second with questioning eyes before he answered: „False, although there seems to be one birthday where you were presented with a doll." I winked at him. „I'm impressed. Yeah, it was my third." „And what did you get for your fifth birthday?", Jasper asked while we were walking towards the store. „A stuffed wolf. A white one." I smiled, thinking back on my fifth birthday and on the beautiful stuffed white wolf that I had lost years later in Seattle, when we had visited Mom's mother. I had been already eleven back then, but I had cried a lot. Until Grandma Young had told me that I was too old for a stuffed animal and that I should grow up. Very nice of her, especially because it had been my favorite toy.

We entered the store and I started looking for my brother's present. Jasper followed me, always close behind me, which felt a little creepy because his breath felt so cold. „What are you looking for?", he asked after a while. „It's my brother's birthday on the 20th of April, and I need to buy him a present. Do you think an iPod shuffle is okay for a fourteen-year-old?" Jasper nodded. „Of course this is appropriate for a young boy. What color would you prefer?" It was kind of weird when he switched his accent. I more and more had the feeling that the Southern accent was the right one, while the accent he talked with now seemed only like he was trying hard to avoid speaking with his original accent. „White. They should be somewhere over-" „You mean this thing here?" He held up the iPod I had been looking for. „Yeah, exactly. Thanks." I bought the iPod and was very glad that I had my job at the _Lonesome Creek Store_. Without it, I wouldn't have been able to pay for anything.

We left the store and began walking back to his car, since I had to get the groceries in Port Angeles. „So, what's your real name, then?", I asked, not having forgotten what he'd said earlier. Jasper sighed. „It's not Hale, isn't that enough?" „So Rosalie is not your real sister?", I continued. Jasper stopped walking and looked at me. „I was under the impression that we had agreed you wouldn't ask any questions." His voice was rather sharp, and so I shut my mouth for the rest of the way.

At the car, Jasper opened the door for me again, and I got into my seat. After he had begun driving, he turned to me. „I must apologize, Miss Clearwater. I was not very nice to you. I will answer your two questions in a second, but first, let us make one adjustment to our agreement: You are allowed to ask questions, I just do not have to answer them. Is that okay for you?" I nodded. That adjustment was very much okay for me – I was way too curious about this guy. He seemed like a big fat secret, and I liked secrets.

„Of course it is"; I said to underline my nod. He smiled. „I thought so. And now back to your questions: First of all, you are absolutely right. Rosalie is not my real sister. She is my adopted sister, yes, but we just pose as twins because we look alike. At least our hair does." „Nice." Intuition suddenly hit me. „This is not something I should be telling around, right?" His eyes widened and he nodded quickly. „Exactly. Please, please keep it a secret, whatever I tell you and whatever you think of it. It is already an exception that I talk to you about anything like that." I grinned and winked at him. „No problem, darlin'", I imitated the accent he'd had before. He twitched a little before he smiled a huge smile. „You are one special woman, Leah Clearwater", he said before muttering to himself, „But I've always known that." Although I had understood what he had said – and it confused me very much – I acted as if I hadn't heard it. „What did you say?", I asked. He still smiled. „Nothing. Do you still want to know my real name?"

He had my attention immediately. „Of course!", I exclaimed, probably sounding very excited, which pissed me off pretty much. Sure, I was interested in him, but he didn't need to know that, right?

Jasper smiled to himself before he stopped the car and parked at the roadside. He turned to me. „My name's Jasper Whitlock, Ma'am. It is very nice to meet you." His golden eyes sparkled, as if he was remembering something, and I decided not to ask further questions today. A strange feeling was creeping up my back again, a feeling that urged me to say somthing as well.

„Nice to meet you, too, Mr Whitlock", I answered in a weird attempt of politeness, „I'm Leah Clearwater." His smile grew even wider, and I looked out of the window, pretending not to see it. This strange feeling didn't go away. It was this feeling of familiarity that I always felt when being with him, only that now I knew where this familiarity was coming from. It was undoubtedly his name, his full, right name.

Jasper Whitlock.

The sound of this name stirred something in my memory, only that I couldn't remember what. Jasper Whitlock... where had I heard that name before?

„Leah? We're back in Port Angeles. Do you want me to get the groceries with you?"

I jumped up. „What? We're back already? That was fast!" Jasper chuckled. „No, you just fell asleep, dear." „Oh God!", I blushed, „I am so sorry! I am so sorry, Jasper, I didn't mean to. Wow, that is embarrassing." „Don't apologize, Leah. You just have been very tired, you don't have to be sorry for that. Now, do you still need those groceries?" I nodded, and he parked in front of the supermarket. He opened my door again and as I got out of the car, we linked arms again. Not because I really wanted to, but somehow he felt the need to held his arm up so I could link with it. It felt more like an official position than a friendly gesture, and still, it felt nice. Like I could trust him.

His arm felt rock-hard and ice-cold, which was very bizarre. Maybe he had a circulatory disorder, one never knew.

Together, we entered the supermarket, and Jasper inhaled deeply. „So, darlin', what do you need?" I pulled out the piece of paper with Mom's list. „Three bottles of milk, eggs, butter, flour, apples, potatoes-", I stopped, „Jeez. She's exaggerating. That's a week's supply. Why am I buying a week's supply of food?" Jasper fetched the piece of paper from me and studied it. „She's preparing you for your own life. By giving you the responsibility of the week's shopping, she teaches you how to lead your own, independent life." I stared at Jasper. „She does?" My tone was rather sarcastic, but only to cover my surprise. I had never seen my chores that way. „Let us start", Jasper said, „Milk, you have said."

We walked through the supermarket and Jasper got everything for me. I almost forgot my brother's candy, but did think of it in the last second.

I payed, and we walked back to Jasper's car. He pushed the shopping cart while I was walking next to him. „Thanks a lot, Jasper Whitlock", I said, smiling. The name went easy from my lips. The name made a lot more sense to me, too. Jasper Whitlock sounded far more melodic and sensible to me than Jasper Hale. Whitlock sounded right.

„I'm not letting you walk alone to your car", Jasper said with a sincere voice as I was taking the shopping bags from the cart, „Port Angeles is full of drunk men on weekends, and not all of them are just funny and annoying. Besides, the bags are heavy, I don't want you to carry that." I growled, but I was amused. „You're such a chauvinist", I complained and tried to take one of the bags away from him. „I am not", he insisted, "I am just polite." And with that, he took four of the bags, leaving me with only one that I could carry, and walked in front of me.

We reached my car and I opened it. Jasper put the bags in my trunk and opened my door. "Goodbye, Leah. It was just grand to meet you. I hope that we can repeat that soon." "Sure!", I grinned, "Although you're kinda weird of course – no offense!" He chuckled. "None taken." "Anyway, I like you – and I'm looking forward to uncovering your secret." He smiled. "I am happy that you have enjoyed the day. As for my secret – you are a smart woman, you surely will find out." He suddenly looked sad. "I just hope it won't destroy our blossoming friendship." I raised an eyebrow, but had to grin. "Oh, so it's _that _kind of secret." He nodded. I poked in his chest. "Are you a dangerous man, Jasper Whitlock?" He pulled me into a gentle hug. "Not to you, Leah Clearwater, I promise. Never to you." And with a slight bow, he walked away, not turning around to me again. He probably knew that I was staring after him with an intrigued look.

Confused, I drove back home. It was already very late when I finally stepped in through our entrance door. Dad was still up, and I made him help me with the bags. "We have to continue your education as a storyteller", he said as he put a bag onto the kitchen table. I nodded, not so happy about that. Couldn't he just leave me alone? I would never be a good storyteller. "Maybe after Seth's birthday", I proposed, not wanting to think about tribal mythology right now. I was thinking more about Jasper, what he's told me, his behaviour.

Dad nodded. "Alright then." He kissed my forehead. "Goodnight, Lee. I love you." "Love you too, Dad. Goodnight." And with that, I walked upstairs, got ready for bed, went into my room and fell asleep right away.


	22. The Annoying Brother

**Hey! Sorry for not updating on Monday, 3/21/11. For some very annoying reason, I got an error message every time that I tried to publish chapter 22. I am really sorry for that - although it's not my fault, apparently Fanfiction had the Get-on-CriDeLaMouette's-nerves-week - and I hope that this will never happen again. If it does, though, I can guarantee for nothing. Meaning I'll phone the wolf pack and tell them that the people from Fanfiction AND the internet are evil vampires that want to bite and/or kill every human on the planet. That should do it, then. **

**Thanks to everyone who congratulated me on my birthday. I had an awesome day.**

**I still don't own Twilight.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

The Annoying Brother

The days until Seth's fourteenth birthday went by very fast. I thought a lot about Jasper and his weird behavior – starting with his changing accent, what he had said, and then his posture. But he had made me curious. I wouldn't leave him alone. I wanted to know his secret. His allusions couldn't scare me.

What scared me were my dreams. They had started the night after I had met with Jasper, and were mostly composed of a dusty old camp with white cotton tents and the flag of the Confederacy flying high in the air. The camp looked so real, but I didn't know where I could have seen something like that before. In my dreams, I sometimes could hear horses, and singing soldiers, too. Unfortunately I wasn't able to hear the lyrics. The dreams bothered me, and I was sure that Jasper's comment of being a Confederate had triggered them.

But these were only the dreams that scared me because I didn't know where they were coming from. The dreams that were really frightening were the ones with the light grey, almost white wolf hunting me. Fortunately it had not been able to catch me. Yet. But alone being hunted by this huge, ferocious wolf scared me to death. It had big, sharp, white teeth and brown eyes that probably would have been beautiful if it hadn't scared me so much.

So, to sum it up, I spent my nights either trying to see more of a Confederate camp or running away from a humongous, ferocious wolf, while I spent my days listening to stupid monologues from boring teachers about how important it was to pay attention and to do our homework (personally, I didn't get it. It was utter nonsense. There were much more important things in life than learning the first sentences of the Declaration of Independence by heart), eating lunch with the most horrible stupid bunch of funny morons in the whole world, working at a store with a funny guy who couldn't sort out bad groceries (actually a pretty funny story if it wasn't constantly me who had to pick out the bad potatoes that were already mouldy and soft) and trying to endure a nervous brother who couldn't await his birthday.

On April 19, the day before his birthday, Seth became really annoying. He entered my room nine times just to tell me the next day, he would be fourteen. I didn't even know what was so great about becoming fourteen. Nothing changed. He would still have to go to school, he would still have me for a sister and our parents would be still there as well. So, no change at all.

I was talking to Jacob on the phone when Seth entered my room for the tenth time. "It's my birthday tomorrow!", he beamed. I tried to smile. "That's awesome, Seth. Go to bed, then tomorrow comes faster." I wanted to continue talking to my best friend, but apparently my brother wanted me to listen exclusively to him now because he snatched the phone out of my hand, said: "Great, Jake, see you tomorrow, good night!" and hung up. I felt my usual anger boiling up in me. "Seth Clearwater, what do you think you're doing?" He smiled a huge winning smile, which might work on his girlfriend (unbelievably, Abby and he were still a couple), but it certainly didn't work on me. "I thought that since it's my birthday tomorrow, we could watch a movie together now!", he said excited. I moaned. "What movie do you have in mind?" He was about to open his mouth when I hurried to name a condition: "Everything, but not Titanic." He was annoying enough today, I didn't need him to get even more annoying because he was so excited to watch his favorite movie. Seth and 'Titanic' wasn't the best combination if one wanted a calm evening.

Seth looked disappointed for a second before he concluded: "Then let's watch 'City of Angels'." I had stopped asking myself why exactly Seth loved romances so much. Probably because of Mom. Mom was as tough as one could be, but she had one fatal flaw, and that were romances. Romantic comedies, that would have been fine with me. But romance was the most horrible genre that had ever been created. Honestly, if I had been able to, I would have killed William Shakespeare for writing 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"Okay", I moaned, not being able to say no to my little brother. I should have, but his huge brown eyes looked so pleading that I couldn't say no. He would be sad then, and I didn't want him to be sad the night before his birthday.

We walked downstairs and sat down in front of the TV. Excited, Seth put the DVD into the player and hurried back to the couch. He cuddled into my arms and smiled a huge smile at me. "You're the best sister in the whole world", he stated before pressing 'play'.

I tried not to concentrate on the movie. How could one watch something where an angel – a freaking pure-hearted angel, a creature everyone desired to be – decided to give up his heavenly immortality for something that always ended in a heart-break – either through separation in life or through death. That was the most stupid choice one could make. I would have never done that.

"It's my birthday tomorrow", Seth yawned into my ear, and I rolled my eyes. "I know, Seth." He grinned, and we continued watching. After ten minutes, my brother turned to me again "It's my birthday tomorrow!", ne said for the twelfth time today. It started to get on my nerves.

In the middle of the movie, Seth asked: "What have you gotten me for tomorrow?" "I won't tell you." "Please!" "No." "Please!" "Seth, no!" "But I really want to know!" Yeah, I wanted to know a lot, too. Didn't mean I was told. "Okay", I sighed, defeated, "You're getting a hammer and nails." Seth rolled his eyes at me. "Very funny, Leah." I made a serious face. "No, honestly, hammer and nails. As a sign that you're becoming a man." My last statement made Seth beam. "I know! Fourteen is a really big step. Only four more years until I'm eighteen, and seven until I'm twenty-one – that's as good as nothing!" I hated optimistic people, and right now, my brother's optimism was developing to become a great pain in the ass. "Yes, my manly brother, that certainly is only a short amount of time." I meant it ironic, of course, but he didn't get it. Seth was an awesome victim for ironic statements, because somehow, he failed to understand the concept of irony. Just like Dad. Mom, on the other hand, was a master in irony, especially when she got mad. I usually tried to avoid that.

"I'm gonna be fourteen tomorrow! Fourteen! FOURTEEN!" He made a huge smile. Why was he so excited about becoming fourteen? I couldn't quite remember, but I had never been much excited about any birthday. Not even my eighteenth. Actually, I had been more excited about Sam's or Jake's birthday, and there had been lots of other more exciting days.

"I know, Seth", I simply stated, hoping that he'd stop talking and concentrate again on the movie, but Seth had decided that annoying his older sister was far better than watching a movie. "You know why I'm even more excited?", Seth asked. "Why?", was my politest answer. "Because now I have a girlfriend!", he beamed, "And I can kiss her and hug her and smile at her and tell her that I love her all day long!"

I tried not to think about that I had no one to kiss, to hug and to smile at, but concentrated on being happy for Seth that he had a really good time at the moment. I _was _happy for him, I really was, but I was also completely jealous. Why couldn't I be happy with a guy? Why did my man have to leave me for my best friend? How unfair was this world?

Okay, the answer to _that _was pretty obvious. Major unfairness out there, and especially in my life.

"That's great, Seth", I said, not very enthusiastic. Seth nodded. "Oh, oh, I so wanna know what she's gotten me! What do girls get for their boyfriend's birthday?" I should have known that one day my brother would ask me the "what-do-girls-do"-question, in the desperate hope for me giving him a girlie answer. Problem was, I couldn't give him that. I'd never been a girlie girl.

"I have no idea, but why don't you wait for tomorrow? It's only less than twelve hours and then you can get your presents, go to school, eat an awful lot of cake, all stuff like that. You wanted to watch that movie, now why don't you watch it and stop thinking about tomorrow?" Seth grumbled but shut up.

We continued to watch the movie in silence, but my thoughts were somewhere far away. Away from the angels and the stupid heart-break the major character was about to suffer. My thoughts were with Jacob, and I asked myself whether I was really falling in love with a teenager. He was only one year older than my brother, and he acted like the teenager he was, at least often enough to remind me of this simple fact. And still – he was funny, warm, sweet and nice to me. He knew how to make my day better, and often enough, he acted more like an adult. Probably because he had to take care of his father. That made people more grown-up, in my opinion. And maybe he also seemed do grown-up because usually, Native American teens grew up faster. In earlier times, they had been adults by fourteen.

Which might have just been the reason why my brother was so excited about his birthday tomorrow.

Suddenly – and it was sudden because there was absolutely no connection to my previous thoughts – I had a funny image in my head, much like my dreams of the Confederate camp. I could see a rwo of white cotton tents that didn't look very comfortable. At the far end of the row, there were four or five soldiers sitting by a camp fire, laughing and eating and singing and talking. I sat alone in the entrance of one tent and watched them, wanting to join them around the warm fire, but I felt too exhausted to do so. I could hear some words of the song they were singing, "dearest", I was able to understand, and "Uncle Joe", but nothing more.

A warm blanket was laid around my shoulders, and although I couldn't see the face of this friendly soldier, I knew who he was. My heart beat a lot faster now, and I felt like I really liked this man. "You should go to sleep, Leah", he said with a caring voice, "You're still weak, and Ah don't want you to get a cold." It sounded like 'gettacold', no space between the words. I sighed heavily. "I am fine", I said to the man without much effort. I felt tired and worn-out, and my whole body was feeling sore and bruised. What had happened to me that I was feeling like that? Every movement hurt. "Ma'am, Ah insist. Go inside my tent, darlin', Ah'll join you later." Him saying "darlin'" made me sweat lightly, and I had a funny feeling in my belly. I didn't want him to leave. "Don't go", I muttered, and he chuckled and caressed my hair. "Ah won't need long, darlin', there's just something Ah have to discuss with my commanding officer." He talked with a strong Southern accent. "Alright", I said, "But don't forget me, Major." He chuckled again and bent down to kiss my head. "Never, Miss Clearwater, never." He walked away, turning around one more time, and although I still couldn't see his face, I knew that he was smiling at me. I went into the tent and laid down with a blanket, waiting for the mystery man to return. But before he did, I fell asleep.

I woke up, a blanket falling off my shoulder as I sat straight on the couch in the living room, the first rays of light entering through a window. Apparently I had fallen asleep on the couch and someone from my family had been caring enough to cover me with a blanket. That was nice.

Oh no. It was Tuesday morning, Tuesday the 20th of April, Seth Clearwater's birthday, and I would have to endure my annoying brother all day long – from early this morning through the whole day at school to late this evening, after everyone who had been invited had driven back home. I could only thank Fate that Seth's friends were mostly my friends, too. I knew that Quil, Embry and Jake would come tonight. Some of Seth's classmates were coming, too, and those were people I didn't really like, because they did behave like a bunch of preschool kids. Not in the way Jake and the rest were behaving, but much more childish and much less amusing.

I took a shower, brushed my teeth, used the toilet ( in all movies I knew and all books I had read, no one ever seemed to use the toilet. Jeez, didn't they have to pee sometimes? They were all humans, for crying out loud! Okay, except for Dracula. He was not human. But he didn't need to use the toilet. Vampires didn't pee, not even blood, as far as I knew) and then went downstairs to put plates and cups on the already decorated kitchen table. Mom entered the kitchen only minutes later with a bag that contained Seth's presents. She put the presents on the table and moaned loudly. "What?", I asked. "I just hope that he has calmed down today", she said totally honest. I laughed. "Mom, this is _Seth _we're talking about." She groaned. "I know. That's why I'm so worried! Do you think he'll like the presents?" "Well, if I knew any of his presents, I would be able to say it for sure. But he's gonna like them. Just because they're from you and Dad." As he would like mine because I was his sister, even if it wasn't something he wanted.

I loved my brother. I loved him when he was annoying. I would always love my brother.

Dad entered the room, and Mom took an ice cream cake out of the fridge. Together we walked upstairs and woke Seth with a loud "Happy Birthday to you!", and since he had already been awake, he jumped up and shouted: "I'm fourteen now!" Mom and I threw each other a quick glance and smiled. "Where are the presents for the man?", Seth asked with a deep but playful voice. "Down in the kitchen, young man!", Dad said as he was releasing Seth from his hug. Seth grinned and ran downstairs. "Jeez, Dad!", I complained, "Did you have to enter the man game?" The 'man game' was a game invented by Embry. Everyone had to say 'man' after every sentence. He or she who had forgotten to say 'man' had to buy candy for each participant. According to Embry, I had lost numerous times because I refused to say 'man' annd instead said 'woman'.

Dad looked confused. "But he is a man now! According to our legends -" I raised my arms in defeat. "Okay, okay, understood. Not now please." Dad winked at me. "But tomorrow, honey." Louder he said: "Now who wants a piece of ice cream cake?" My brother shouted "Me, man!" from downstairs, and we walked back to the kitchen, Mom and I looked at each other desperately.

In the kitchen, Seth was staring with huge eyes at his presents. "Can I open them now, man?", he asked, and we nodded. And with that, our kitchen drowned in present paper.

Seth unpacked two car racing games, a T-shirt in green, a pair of shoes he had wanted for months, two DVDs with movies made from Nicholas Spark's novels (_Dear John_, _The Notebook_) – plain romances that I certainly wouldn't watch – and then a GTA version, which Dad had given him. Mom didn't seem so glad about that, but Seth found it awesome. "I'm cool now! Man!", he shouted, "I'm a real man, man! Thanks, Dad, man!" I didn't even know how my friends could maintain this game, I would have forgotten to say 'man' by now. Seth gave Dad a big hug, and Dad winked at me.

Mom handed him her last parcel, which was the present exclusively by her. Of course, it would be the total opposite of GTA, and that it was: the DVD of _Gone With The Wind_. I'd never seen that movie, although I could recall a time where Rachel and Rebecca Black, my best friends back then, had wanted to watch it. I had successfully fought this idea, but, looking at the cover now, I became curious. I had heard of the movie, sure, but why would one want to see a movie that played at the time of the Civil War, and in Confederacy territory?

My thoughts stopped right there. _"Because I was raised a Confederate"_, a voice sounded in my head. Maybe it was time to watch _Gone With The Wind_, because maybe I would find some answers concerning the most mysterious man I had ever met.

Suddenly a loud cry interrupted my thoughts. "Thank you, thank you, thank you , thank you, man! Lee, you're the best sister in the whole world, man! Too bad I can't try it out right now, man. We have to go to school, man." Seth had unpacked my iPod and was admiring it. "Glad you like it", I smiled and hoped that he would stop the man game now. He didn't. "Oh, I'm so looking forward to school, man. Leah, can't we drive now, please, man?"

I sighed, but had to smile. Him wanting to go to school was a first, and certainly something that had to be supported. "Alright, get ready and we can drive." He beamed, but when he saw the ice cream cake, he changed his mind. "I'd like a slice of cake first, please, man." Mom handed him a plate. "I'll go upstairs and pack my stuff", I said and left the kitchen. In my opinion, it was too early for ice cream cake.

Ten minutes later, we arrived at Jacob's house, and another fifteen minutes later, we parked in front of the school. Jake had given Seth a chocolate cup cake and unfortunately had adopted his man game.

The worst thing was that when I went to lunch, all of my friends had adopted the man game without my brother even being here. "Have you heard about this excursion to Nootka land next semester, man?", Embry asked us while eating a burger. "Sure, man!", Quil said enthusiastically, "They have some sort of hotel that resembles a Nootka village of old, man. Apparently, four people live in one such hut, man, and we can stay with people from other classes, man!" Jacob beamed. "Awesome, man! That means we three and Seth can share a hut, man!" "Oh, that's awesome, man!", I imitated annoyed. All three looked at me. "What's your problem, man?", Embry asked. "Yeah, don't you want to go to Canada? Man?", Jake added. I rolled my eyes. "Sure I want to go, but there's a minor little problem. Apparently I have to share a room with three girls from our school." "What's the problem, man?", Embry asked again. "The problem, Embry, is that I don't like the girls from our school." All three burst out into roaring laughter. "But, Lee, isn't there any girl in this area that you like, man?", Jake asked. "None", I hissed back, "Except for your sisters and Emily, and Rachel and Rebecca chose to run off and leave this reservation, and Emily chose my freaking fi- boyfriend over me. So there is no girl that I like." They were silent for a few seconds. "You'll find great roommates, man", Quil encouraged me, "and if not-" "- then you can just sleep in our hut, man!", Embry concluded, and all three nodded. How cute they were! Sometimes I couldn't believe how sweet my friends were. Sometimes I couldn't believe that they were my friends. I'd never had many friends, and the fact that Embry and Quil were nice to me made me really happy.

But the teachers would never allow me to stay with them, I wasn't looking forward to this excursion.

I also wasn't looking forward to my brother's birthday this afternoon, and because I was always right, it proved to be as horrible as I had imagined it.

First of all, Abby had given Seth a perfume. Seth didn't need perfume, in my opinion, but he kept telling me (by the end of the day it had been fifteen times) that it was manly to get a perfume from one's girlfriend.

Second, by seven o'clock in the evening everyone had adopted the man game, even Abby. It was very annoying to get through a dinner when everyone asked you: "Can you pass me the salt, man?" or stated that "the cake is great, Mrs Clearwater, man!" Thank nature that my brother's birthday was only once a year.

Third, Sam came by to congratulate Seth. I was glad that it hadn't been me who had opened the door, not only because I didn't want to see in his beautiful eyes (if I couldn't avoid Emily, who came to the _Lonesome Creek Store_ on a regular base, then at least I would have to avoid my ex), but also because I feared that he knew I was friends with Jasper. For some reason, Sam hated the Cullens more than the rest of the La Push inhabitants did, and I could recall one certain event in December where Sam had told me to stay away from the Cullens.

I wasn't going to listen to him, obviously, but an enraged Sam was something I was frightened by.

After dinner, all boys and Abby rushed upstairs to Seth's room to try out GTA, leaving me and Mom with the dishes while Sam and Dad were talking outside in the garden. Mom rolled her eyes at me and we both grinned. Together, we put the dishes into the dishwasher. "I'll go upstairs and see whether they need anything", Mom said, "What will you do?" I looked at Seth's presents. "Do you think he'll mind if I watch _Gone With The Wind_?" Mom giggled. "You don't watch romances." I stared at the cover. "I'll make an exception. So, do you think he'll mind?" Mom shook her head. "No honey, of course not. Go ahead. Maybe I'll join you later. I love Rhett Butler!" And with that, she walked out of the kitchen.

I didn't waver and put the DVD into the player. Then I rushed back into the kitchen to get a glass of iced tea and then went back to the TV and started the movie.

For some reasons, I had tears in my eyes right from the beginning. Not because of Scarlett – I didn't care about Scarlett O'Hara, she was an unfair bitch that treated her men like shit (sure, I was bitchy, too, but I would never ever treat my boyfriend in a way she did) – but because of something intangible, something that I couldn't grasp right now. It started right in the beginning, where it was stated that before the Civil War, "_t__here__ was a land of Cavaliers and Cotton Fields called the Old South. Here in this pretty world, Gallantry took its last bow. Here was the last ever to be seen of Knights and their Ladies Fair, of Master and of Slave. Look for it only in books, for it is no more than a dream remembered, a Civilization gone with the wind._" And it was exactly this intro that made me sad. So sad that that I could already feel tears burning in my eyes. I didn't admire the white mansions of the plantation owners. I was too concentrated on – well, the men.

Those young, naive, agile men who shouted and cheered when war broke out. Who immediately ran off to enlist in the newly formed Confederate Army. Who were shot down or died of pneumonia or were captured or returned home, broken. Who so fiercly believed in the right of the Confederacy and in their own victory.

Seeing the Confederacy lose the war made me cry. The tears were running down my face, and I couldn't stop myself. I had no idea why, because I didn't know much about the Civil War (Mr Cauldwell had told us we'd skip this topic. Now we were going to talk about it in senior year, for some unknown stupid teacher-reason). But I knew enough to ask myself why I felt so much horror to see the young Confederates die. I knew that the war had mainly been fought over the issue of slavery. I despised any sort of one-sided dependence. I hated the very idea of slavery. But then why did I have to cry when the slave states lost? Why did I have to cry when I saw all those dead and dying soldiers who so fiercly had fought for the right of oppression and inequality? That didn't make any sense.

Someone cleared his throat next to me. It was my brother; he handed me a handkerchief. "You know, Lee, you shouldn't watch that. It gives me the creeps to see you cry because of a romance. Come upstairs and steal a car." I wiped my unnecessary tears away. As annoying as he was, he was also right. How ridiculous to cry because of stuff like that. It was all Jasper's fault. He shouldn't have called himself a Confederate. That was something that didn't make much sense, too. How could he be a Confederate? The Confederacy had been dead for almost 150 years, and Jasper was what? Eighteen? Nineteen?

I cursed myself for thinking too much about stupid things like that and followed my brother upstairs, where Jacob was about to kill a cop. "Don't do that in real life", I advised him and winked. Jake grinned. "I could never shoot Charlie. Then my dad would have nobody to watch football and baseball with! Come on, Lee, give it a try, that game is really fun."

We all spent the rest of the evening with shooting, stealing and delivering, and although the boys were loud and annoying, I did have fun. I even warmed up to Abby, who seemed to be really happy about that. We laughed a lot – especially at my brother – and I decided that she was good enough for Seth.

When everyone had gone back home – school night -I bought Seth to bed. He was very tired and very happy, his usual mood when he asked me to bring him to bed.

"I'm fourteen now, Lee!", he yawned happily. I smiled and kissed his forehead. "You're annoying." He grinned. "I know! The annoying brother!" He yawned again. "I love you, Lee." I bit my lip and smiled. "And I love you, Seth. Good night, sleep well." "Night", he yawned, and I switched off the lights and left his room.


	23. Spirits, Ghosts and Souls

**The Quileute stories are taken from the chapter 'Legends', _Eclipse_.**

**I don't own Twilight.  
**

Spirits, Ghosts and Souls

"In the beginning, our tribe settled in this harbor, and we became skilled ship builders and fishermen. But we were only a small people, and soon other tribes wanted our harbor, as it was very rich with fish. So when we knew we could not defend our land, we took to our ships to escape the attacking tribe."

Dad had taken "after Seth's birthday" literally. That was why I sat now in my room, a day after my brother's birthday, and listened to what Dad was telling me.

"Kaheleha was not the first spirit warrior, but we do not remember the stories that came before his. We do not remember who was the first to discover this power, or how it had been used before the attack. But Kaheleha was the first great spirit chief in our history. And in this emergency, where we had to defend our land, Kaheleha used the magic to do so."

I had heard that story before, but back then I hadn't paid attention to this superstitious nonsense. I had laughed at these old folks believing in this stuff, but sitting here with Dad made me feel as if it might even be true what he was saying. As unbelievable as it sounded, maybe it was true. In my opinion, we all could use a little more magic in our lives.

"He and all his warriors left the ships – not their bodies, but their spirits. Their women watched over the bodies and the waves, while the men's spirits travelled back to our harbor. They could not physically touch the enemy tribe, but they had other ways." Great, only men again. Women could fight, too, but apparently they weren't even granted the ability of having a spirit. "The stories tell us that they could blow fierce winds into their enemy's camps; they could make a great screaming in the wind that terrified their foes. The stories also tell us that the animals could see the spirit warriors and understand them; the animals would do their bidding." Easy to guess what Kaheleha was going to do. "Kaheleha took his spirit army and wreaked havoc on the intruders. This invading tribe had packs of thick-furred dogs that they used to pull their sleds in the frozen north. The spirit warriors turned the dogs against their masters and then brought a mighty infestation of bats up from the cliff caverns." So there_ were _cliff caverns. All children had heard of them, but of course it was forbidden to look for them. Too dangerous. Maybe I should give it a try some day.

"Along with the bats, they used the screaming wind to aid the dogs in confusing the men. The dogs and bats won. The survivors scattered, calling our harbor a cursed place." Well, not only those old enemy survivors. Grandma Young had called it a cursed place, too. "The dogs ran wild when the spirit warriors released them. The Quileutes returned to their bodies and their wives, victorious. The other nearby tribes, the Hohs and the Makahs, made treaties with the Quileutes. They wanted nothing to do with our magic." Yeah, and I wanted nothing to do with a certain Makah. Good for A. not to call me again. "We lived in peace with them. When an enemy came against us, the spirit warriors would drive them off."

Dad stopped, apparently the story had ended. He looked at his watch. "Oh, my game's about to start. We'll continue some other time. Good night!" And with that, he left me alone in my room with all those funny thoughts one could have after such a strange story.

And I had many funny thoughts. The first one was that it couldn't be true. The second one was that it had to be true, because it didn't seem sooooooooo long ago – not "once upon a time". It didn't play in some sunk Quileute country, but in our harbor, in our reservation, in our home. And then I thought again that it just couldn't be true, because our world was a world without magic. But then why was this story so important to us that it was the second story Dad told me? Usually important stories dealt with something realistic, something we could learn from. But what was to learn from spirit warriors? Nothing, at least nothing possible. In order to learn something from this story, one had to assume that it was true. But it couldn't be true! It couldn't – but it had to. There was no other possibility.

Spirit warriors – if they had existed, what had happened to them? I didn't know any of our men who could release their spirits, command the animals and drive off animals.

The next day at school, Mr Cauldwell told us that we would start to plan our excursion to Nootka land. I was very glad about that because it meant less talk about history. I didn't care much about the Truman doctrine.

Kayla – who had turned from simple bitch to beauty queen in the past months – chewed her gum very loudly and looked very sceptical at Mr Cauldwell. I almost puked at her long false fingernails – pink, they were.

"You will be staying in a house with four beds and a toilet. That means you have to find groups of four – one gender only, Jared! Your girlfriend will have to stay with girls. But you can look for roommates in the other classes." Kayla moaned and asked: "Where are the showers?" "They're in a separate building, Kayla." She looked like she was gonna hang herself. Too bad she didn't actually do it.

"This project is to help build friendships among the coastal tribes and to develop a strong consciousness for our common grounds. The project is supported by US and Canadian officials, that is why it won't cost you much. We want you to learn a lot about other Native American cultures – well, and we want you to have fun." Nobody dared to smile. Teachers usually had a very not-funny idea of 'fun'. "We will be staying there for seven days. A bus will take us to the Nootka reservation." Kayla groaned loudly. I could only assume that she didn't want to sit in a bus. How could she have ever been my friend? I hated beauty queens! I mean, she didn't even look like one, she only acted like one. It was not like she was Rosalie Hale. Now _that _was a first class beauty. Kayla was just... common.

"It is obligatory for you to take part in this project unless your parents have a really good reason for not letting you go", Mr Cauldwell was saying, "Miss Clearwater, are you listening to me?" I looked at him and thought for a moment. "I think so, yes, Sir." He smiled a relieved smile and turned back to the class.

After school I waited for my brother and Jacob so I could finally drive home. I wanted to flee school right now. Great. Now I had to find a group of roommates. I hadn't lied to Jake and the rest of my friends on Seth's birthday. There was no girl that I really liked. I could talk with Jessica, and Kim was okay, but I didn't want to spend seven days with those two in a wooden hut.

But I also wanted to flee my dad. I didn't want to hear the next story. 'Story', in quotation marks. Dad had told the last one as if it was a proved event, just as, for example, the Second World War. But how could they be true? And how could Dad – and probably Billy and Old Quil – believe in such mythical nonsense?

Finally Seth and Jake turned up, and we all drove home. I had to work until late in the evening, so Dad was already asleep when I entered the house. When I had finally finished my homework for the next day, I was so tired that I almost fell asleep on my desk.

I made myself ready for bed, went to the toilet (I had promised myself that if I would ever have the chance to write a book or a screenplay, I would include peeing. It was ridiculous that even in the most fearsome and longest adventures people never had to use the toilet) and then laid down on my very comfortable bed. Every time I was as tired as today, the bed felt more comfortable than...

I must have fallen asleep in that instant, because suddenly, I wasn't in my room anymore, but stood in the deep forests surrounding La Push. It seemed so real, and I was pretty convinced that this was really happening.

A little scared, I I walked through the dark forest, not knowing in which direction I should go and what I would find there.

All of the sudden, I walked directly into a handsome man who was naked except for a waist cloth and an animal mask. I knew this was the historical attire of the Quileute tribe, but I didn't know why this man was wearing this. The Quileute Days were in July.

"Hey!", I said, but was silenced immediately by his stern look. He said something to me in a language that wasn't English, and I was pretty sure it was Quileute. I could understand him perfectly, though. He had said: "Don't you speak now." I didn't know why. Was he hunting? He didn't have any weapons with him. "What's going on?", I asked, and he seemed to understand me as well. "I told you not to speak now", he repeated in Quileute. I hated taking orders from someone I didn't know. "I don't think I want to shut up right now. I wanna know what's going on. Who are you?" He sighed and rolled his eyes. "By the wolf, woman, you are a pain in the neck!You have disturbed my concentration. I was protecting my tribe." I raised my arms in defense. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'll just leave you alone, 'kay?" He sighed again. "Well, now I cannot concentrate anymore. Thank you very much. Who are you, anyway?" "I've asked you first!" "My name is Kaheleha."

I backed away. Why did I have to meet the first great Spirit Chief? What was the purpose of that? "I have answered your question, woman, would you care to answer mine?" "Ehm, I'm-", I started to stutter. I never stuttered! "I'm Leah Clearwater." "It is a pleasure to meet you, Leah Clearwater. May I ask you since when you have been able to take your spirit form?" "I'm not! I don't even know how that works." "Well, you're doing it right now." In that moment I realized that it was all a dream. "I am dreaming!", I stated. Kaheleha smiled. "That, Leah , is almost the same. You are greatly missed in the spirit world, or so I have heard." "I'm too young to die", I countered. He laughed. "Yes, you are. Although everyone is quite interested in why you have decided to stay on the earth and take on another human form." I was confused, but for some reason, I answered: "I think that decision was made for me, Kaheleha, when my love was changed and disappeared forever."

I covered my mouth with my hands. "Oh my God, I wanna wake up, I wanna wake up right now, this is a nightmare." Kaheleha laid his hands on my shoulders. "It was not your duty to look for him, Leah, I assure you that. Besides, this is nothing of your concern right now. Be happy that I have forbidden all women to take on their spirit forms. They could never go back and would have to be killed or kill themselves to cross to the final lands. You won't have to deal with that anymore." As weirded out as I was, I couldn't keep myself from asking: "There were woman spirits?" "Well, since I have forbidden them to release their spirits, we can't be sure, but I know my wife can do so." "What's your wife's name?" He smiled, and it reminded me of Jacob. Now I realized why I was dreaming that. It was because of Dad's story. My subconsciousness was trying to cope with that story, and therefore I was dreaming about Kaheleha and lots of other weird things. "She is called Clear Well – but you should know that, my dear." Everything was spinning around my head, and I felt very exhausted. I didn't understand what was going on here, and why I was answering questions to which I shouldn't know the answers.

I wanted to wake up immediately, but there was one question nagging my mind. "What happened to the spirit warriors?" Kaheleha winked at me – which reminded me of Jacob, too – and said: "I think you just have to listen to the next story, Leah Clearwater, there you might find an answer. I am convinced that the next story will provide you an excellent answer."

Kaheleha slowly began to fade away, as did the forest. "Wait!", I shouted, "The spirit warriors! Were they real?" Kaheleha gave me one last smile and said: "You know the answer yourself, my daughter."

With that, everything disappeared, and I woke up in the middle of the night. I sat up in my bed, and in that instant, a loud howl pierced through the silent darkness and scared me to hell. Wolf packs should be forbidden in this area!

I wanted to go back to sleep, but too much spun around my head. Kaheleha's story, the strange dream and then his answers to my questions... and my strange answers to his questions... and his strange allusions to something I certainly didn't know...

I couldn't sleep anymore. Dad had to tell me the next story. He had to tell me what had happened to the spirit warriors. Maybe I would find more answers in our tribal myths.

I stood up and sneaked downstairs. I walked into my parents' bedroom and tried to wake up Dad. He muffled loudly and then opened his eyes. "Lee?", he was up immediately, "Is everything alright?" I nodded, then I shook my head. "Dad, I need you to tell me the story that follows Kaheleha's." "Now?", he yawned. I nodded again. "It is important." "Why?" "I just... need some... answers..." He got up and followed me into the living room, looking awake now. "Did you think all night about that?" I shook my head. "I've had a dream. It was weird... but anyway I need to know how the storied go on."

Dad smiled. "Good. Tell me, what was your dream about?" I told him almost everything – except for my weird answers to his even stranger questions and comments. I was getting nervous – I was tired, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep if I didn't hear ehat came after Kaheleha.

Dad yawned and cleared his throat.

"After Kaheleha, many generations passed. Then came the last great Spirit Chief, Taha Aki. He was known for his wisdom, and for being a man of peace. The people lived well and content in his care.

But there was one man, Utlapa, who was not content." Dad's expression darkened, and I could only assume that this Utlapa had been a really, really bad person. "Utlapa was one of Taha Aki's strongest spirit warriors – a powerful man, but a grasping man, too. He thought the people should use their magic to expand their lands, to enslave the Hohs and Makahs and build an empire.

"Now, when the warriors were their spirit selves, they knew each other's thoughts. Taha Aki saw what Utlapa dreamed, and was angry with Utlapa. Utlapa was commanded to leave the people, and never use his spirit self again. Utlapa was a strong man, but the chief's warriors outnumbered him. He had no choice but to leave. The furious outcast hid in the forest nearby, waiting for a chance to get revenge against the chief.

"Even in times of peace, the Spirit Chief was vigilant in protecting his people. Often, he would go to a sacred, secret place in the mountains. He would leave his body behind and sweep down through the forests and along the coast making sure no threat approached.

"One day when Taha Aki left to perform this duty, Utlapa followed. At first, Utlapa simply planned to kill the chief, but this plan had its drawbacks. Surely the spirit warriors would seek to destroy him, and they could follow faster than he could escape. As he hid in the rocks and watched the chief prepare to leave his body, another plan occurred to him.

"Taha Aki left his body in the secret place and flew with the winds to keep watch over his people. Utlapa waited until he was sure the chief had travelled some distance with his spirit self.

"Taha Aki knew it in the instant that Utlapa had joined him in the spirit world, and he also knew Utlapa's murderous plan. He raced back to his secret place, but even the winds weren't fast enough to save him. When he returned, his body was already gone. Utlapa's body lay abandoned, but Utlapa had not left Taha Aki with an escape – he had cut his own body's throat with Taha Aki's hands. Taha Aki followed his body down the mountain. He screamed at Utlapa, but Utlapa ignored him, as if he were mere wind.

"Taha Aki watched with despair as Utlapa took his place as chief of the Quileutes. For a few weeks, Utlapa did nothing but make sure that everyone believed he was Taha Aki. Then the changes began – Utlapa's first edict was to forbid any warrior to enter the spirit world. He claimed that he'd had a vision, but really he was afraid. He knew that Taha Aki would be waiting for the chance to tell his story.

"Utlapa was also afraid to enter the spirit world himself, knowing Taha Aki would quickly claim his body. So his dreams of conquest with a spirit warrior army were impossible, and he sought to content himself with ruling over the tribe. He became a burden – seeking privileges that Taha Aki had never requested, refusing to work alongside his warriors, taking a young second wife and then a third, tough Taha Aki's wife lived on – something unheard of in the tribe. Taha Aki watched in helpless fury.

Eventually, Taha Aki tried to kill his body to save the tribe from Utlapa's excesses. He brought a fierce wolf down from the mountain, but Utlapa hid behind his warriors. When the wolf killed a young man who was protecting the false chief, Taha Aki felt horrible grief. He ordered the wolf away.

But being bodiless was disorienting uncomfortable, horrifying. Taha Aki had been away from his body for so long at this point that he was in agony. He felt he was doomed – never cross over to the final land where his ancestors waited, stuck in this torturous nothingness forever.

"The great wolf followed Taha Aki's spirit as he twisted and writhed in agony through the woods. The wolf was very large for its kind, and beautiful. Taha Aki was suddenly jealous of the dumb animal. At least it had a body. At least it had a life. Even life as an animal would be better than this horrible empty consciousness.

"And then Taha Aki had the idea that changed us all." I looked at Dad, and suddenly I felt very frightened.

Dad was telling the truth.

He could not possibly fake that serious tone. If he was talking like that, it could only be the truth.

"He asked the great wolf to make room for him, to share. The wolf complied. Taha Aki entered the wolf's body with relief and gratitude. It was not his human body, but it was better than the void of the spirit world.

"As one, the man and the wolf returned to the village on the harbor. The people ran in fear, shouting for the warriors to come. The warriors ran to meet the wolf with their spears. Utlapa, of course, stayed safely hidden.

"Taha Aki did not attack his warriors. He retreated slowly from them, speaking with his eyes and trying to yelp the songs of his people. The warriors began to realize that the wolf was no ordinary animal, that there was a spirit influencing it. One older warrior, a man named Yut, decided to disobey the false chief's order and try to communicate with the wolf.

"As soon as Yut crossed to the spirit world, Taha Aki left the wolf – the animal waited tamely for his return – to speak to him. Yut gathered the truth in an instant, and welcomed his true chief home. At this time, Utlapa came to see if the wolf had been defeated. When he saw Yut lying lifeless on the ground, surrounded by protective warriors, he realized what was happening. He drew his knife and raced forward to kill Yut before he could return to his body.

"'Traitor!', he screamed, and the warriors did not know what to do. The chief had forbidden spirit journeys, and it was the chief's decision how to punish those who disobeyed. Yut jumped back into his body, but Utlapa had his knife at his throat and a hand covering his mouth. Taha Aki's body was strong, and Yut was weak with age. Yut could not say even one word to warn the others before Utlapa silenced him forever.

"Taha Aki watched as Yut's spirit slipped away to the final lands that were barred for Taha Aki for all eternity. He felt a great rage, more powerful than anything he'd felt before. He entered the big wolf again, meaning to rip Utlapa's throat out. But, as he joined the wolf, the greatest magic happened.

Taha Aki's anger was the anger of a man. The love he had for his people and the hatred he had for their oppressor were too strong for the wolf's body, too human. The wolf shuddered, and – before the eyes of the shocked warriors and Utlapa – transformed into a man.

"The new man did not look like Taha Aki's body. He was far more glorious. He was the flesh interpretation of Taha Aki's spirit. The warriors recognized him at once, though, for they had flown with Taha Aki's spirit.

"Utlapa tried to run, but Taha Aki had the strength of the wolf in his new body. He caught the thief and crushed the spirit from him before he could jump out of the stolen body.

"The people rejoiced when they understood what had happened. Taha Aki quickly set everything right, working again with his people and giving the young wives back to their families. The only change he kept in place was the end of the spirit travels. He knew it was too dangerous now that the idea of stealing a life was there. The spirit warriors were no more.

"From that point on, Taha Aki was no more than either wolf or man. They called him the Taha Aki the Great Wolf, or Taha Aki the Spirit Man. He led the tribe for many, many years, for he did not age. When danger threatened, he would resume his wolf-self to fight or frighten the enemy. The people dwelt in peace. Taha Aki fathered many sons, and some of these found out that, after they had reached the age of manhood, they, too, could transform into wolves. The wolves were all different, because they were spirit wolves and reflected the man they were inside. Some of the sons became warriors with Taha Aki, and they no longer aged. Others, who did not like the transformation, refused to join the pack of wolf-men. These began to age again, and the tribe discovered that the wolf-men could grow old like anyone else if they gave up their spirit wolves."

Dad ended and looked at me. "So there you have your answer, honey. The spirit warriors became spirit wolves. There is another story about Taha Aki that follows this one, but I'll tell you that one another evening. You should go back to sleep now, you have to get up early." I nodded, suddenly feeling very tired. "Can you bring me to bed?", I asked with a pleading look. Dad smiled. "Sure, honey."

He brought me upstairs and covered me with my blankets when he suddenly saw the photo of Leah Clearwater the Older. "Oh! Where have you found that picture?" "Laundry room", I yawned and stared at the pale scar on her skin. Dad was about to leave the room when I blurted out: "Daddy, tell me about her!" Dad turned round. "My great-great-grandma Clearwater? The woman you're named after?" I nodded. Dad sighed, but returned to my bed and sat down. "I don't know what all this sudden interest in our history is about, but if you insist..." He gave me a wary look before he cleared his throat.

"Your great-great-great-grandmother Leah Clearwater was born in 1842 to John Clearwater and Naomi Ateara. She proved to be a promising girl – beautiful, witty and intelligent. But when she was fourteen, a rival tribe took her as a slave. The tribe thought she was dead, and so we did not look for her. You can imagine the Quileutes' surprise when in 1863, she returned to our land, broken and sad from what she had experienced in her time as a slave. The stories tell us that she had forgotten how to smile when the younger son of our chief, Matthew Black, fell in love with her in a way that was not reversible. She was his soulmate, and he kept her happy for the rest of his life. They had a son, your great-great-grandfather, but Matthew died shortly after his son's birth. The then Leah Black took back her maiden name, which is why we are called Clearwater today, and when her son had reached manhood and had become a father himself, she suddenly disappeared, never to return again. Our tribe does not know where she went to, but we assume that she felt death coming and wanted to die alone. Many people did so back then. But your great-great-great-grandmother truly was a special woman. She never had one gray hair, and it is told that she was an exceptional storyteller, able to captivate her listeners' attention with her narrative style and her voice." Dad looked at the photo and caressed the little scar on the picture. "This scar is told to have felt much colder and harder than the rest of her body." He sighed. "It is also told that this storyteller sometimes had a funny, incomprehensible accent. She was often heard crying, too. But no one had ever been able to get her to tell where she had been and what she had done there. She never told anyone _her _story. I am afraid we will never find out what exactly happened to her during the time of her absence."

I looked at Dad, having tears in my eyes for a reason that I couldn't explain.

"What was the name of her son?", I asked. Dad smiled. In this instant, I knew the answer.

"Jasper Clearwater", we both said at the same time.

I gasped. Dad stared at me. "I thought you didn't know our family tree." I shrugged. I didn't know the Clearwater's family tree. Maybe I had once seen a family tree and had remembered this name because it had seemed so unusual – normally, since the Quileutes had had contact with pale-faces, tribe members had been named after biblical figures. I was named after one, too. _Leah_. What had been Bible Leah's story again?

"Oh sweetie, you should go back to sleep now. I have to go to bed now, too. It's very late. I hope I have helped you." I nodded and yawned. Dad kissed my forehead and left my room, but I still couldn't sleep. I lay awake and moved around in my bed, feeling very nervous. Finally, I sat up. Falling asleep didn't seem possible right now.

So the spirit warriors had turned into wolves, there were woman spirits, and my ancestor's son had been called Jasper. I spent my nights dreaming about a big white wolf and about Confederate camps. I had dreamt of an ancient spirit chief, and I was pretty sure Dad was convinced that every single myth he told was true. Which couldn't be, but it was. It had to be. Dad was not superstitious, not at all.

I was getting a really bad headache from all of this, and I wasn't able to stop the thoughts.

Every thought was spinning in my head, round and round and round and round and...

Within an instant, everything went black.

I opened my eyes widely, but I couldn't see anything. It was pitch black. The ground felt like muddy sand beneath my bare feet, but I couldn't see my surroundings.

And then I heard a loud growl, a dangerous, angry, furious growl, a warning one, a noise that made me step backwards. And then I saw two huge, glittering, intelligent brown eyes that looked directly at me. That pierced me with a fiery gaze that looked as if it wanted to kill me. I screamed – and I didn't scream often – and turned round to run away. It felt so much more scary this time. I started running, but that was hard in the muddy sand. I was slower than in my other dreams, and the wolf was faster. I stumbled a lot. It didn't help that I couldn't see anything. I ran for my life in utter darkness, knowing that a monstrous beast was running behind me, trying to catch and kill me.

The beast growled loudly, and I knew it was close behind me. Panicking, I sped up until I felt something different beneath my feet. When I realized what it was, I panicked even more.

Water.

The beast had chased me to the ocean, leaving me with two options: being eaten by a wolf – or drowning.

I liked neither one of them.

I took a deep breath and collected every piece of courage that was left in me to turn round to the monster and try to make it go away. Impossible, probably, but I wanted to survive. I wanted to live. With all my strength I screamed. "GO AWAY!"

Somebody shook me. I rose up in horror, my blanket falling off my sweating body. Seth looked at me, worrying. "Lee, are you alright?" I felt sick. "No." Now I began to feel feverish and very tired. "I'll get Mom", Seth said and left my room. Mom came only seconds later. "Honey, are you okay? You look pale." "I'm not feeling like school today", I said weakly. Mom touched my forehead and nodded. "Yes, you're definitely not going today. Seth, I will drive you and Jacob to school, hurry up and get ready." I hadn't realized Seth was back in my room, too. Mom turned back to me. "Do you need anything? A cup of tea? Hot milk with honey?" I nodded. Mom smiled. "I'll get one for you, sweetie. Go back to sleep now." She kissed my cheek and walked out of my room.

I sighed heavily. Dad's stories and my dreams had confused me so much, now I was already getting sick from them!

I looked at my ancestor's photo and suddenly, I felt very calm. Calm and focused. I would find out who she had been, where she had come from and what had happened to her when she had disappeared. Leah Clearwater the Older – well, then I was Leah Clearwater the Younger, and with that, it was my duty to continue her work. I could remember from Tribe History with Cauldwell that in our tribe, namesakes usually performed the same duty because the tribe believed one possessed a shared soul.

Nonsense, but still. It felt right.

My cell phone rang. It was a message from Jake, who announced he would come over tonight after school and bring a movie. I was looking forward to this. Maybe I would be able to cuddle in his arms and he would hold me tight, because I was sick and needed a friend.

And maybe I would finally be able to ask him if he wanted to be my prom date.


	24. Junior Proms

**OMG! 100 reviews! Thank you, thank you, thank you! There's nothing more motivating than knowing that there are people out there who want to read my – sorry, Leah's – story.**

**After this chapter, it might take a while for me to upload the next one. I have my final exams (and I mean my _final _final exams, what is called _Abitur_ in Germany) in a month, and I have to study for them. Unfortunately that means I won't have much time to write new chapters. But at the end of May, when I am done with all my exams, I promise to upload more regularly.**

**I don't own Twilight. **

Junior Proms

or

I Sometimes Wish I Wasn't So Curious

I had not been able to ask Jacob if he wanted to be my prom date. When I'd had the chance, I hadn't used it because I felt so stupid about asking a fifteen-year-old. Besides, Jacob and I weren't even a couple.

Finally, I had been angry enough at myself to call Jasper, but that only calmed me insofar as he took away my anger at myself and made me angry at his calm, trying-to-keep-out-the-accent-voice and his secretiveness. Unfortunately, I already liked him very much. He already counted as a friend, and amazingly, he seemed to like me, too. I started to receive messages, updating me about is family (hilarious updates, e.g. 'Today, Emmett almost burnt his right sleeve while trying to blow out a candle. Hope to see you soon, Jasper' or 'Alice has tried for the tenth time to force me into a bright green shirt today. I have politely refused. Have a nice evening, Jasper'), and I answered him with useful instructions à la 'Try to keep candles out of Emmett's reach, as you would do with a child' and 'How about you ask her to wear a bright green shirt and then wait for her answer'

Junior prom was coming closer, and since it was a tradition of our school that although the juniors were the ones organising the ball, everyone was allowed to come, every single student – and especially the girls – were planning what to wear and who to ask. Whenever we started talking about Junior prom at lunch, Quil and Embry started giggling in a very girlish way, and Jacob said something about "I'm going to the Forks prom, too."

Well, Quil and Embry were giggling about girls, of course. Quil wanted to ask out Carlie Robertson, and because Embry was Quil's best friend, and Carlie had a best friend called Hannah Littletree, Embry wanted to ask out Hannah. Why Jacob wanted to go to the Forksians' prom remained a mystery. I didn't want to ask, too, because I didn't want to hear anything about Isabella.

The nearer prom came, the more I was scared that another girl might ask Jacob to accompany her, or worse, that he would ask another girl. I didn't know if Jacob fancied any girl in our school. We didn't talk much about that. But I couldn't find enough courage to ask him. I was sure he'd say no. I was sure he'd ask another girl.

Then there was the problem with the dress. I had this gift card from Christmas, and I had to use it now. But Mom didn't have time to go with me because she had to work, and so I had to go with Dad.

I felt awkward next to Dad. He had told the tribal stories with such an intensity that I was already assuming that they must have been true, but I still couldn't believe it. BUT ALL THIS STUFF COULDN'T BE TRUE! There weren't giant wolves who reflected a man's spirit. There wasn't a pack of crazy men who turned into wolves. The legends were too mythical to be true.

Still, we found a very pretty dress in Port Angeles. Dad didn't want to drive to Seattle, because he thought it was too far away. The dress was asymmetrical, turquoise and made of velvet. It went to my knees. On the left side, it didn't have a sleeve, and the sleeve on the right had ruffles on the shoulder. Turquoise looked amazing with my skin, and then Dad bought me golden high heels – I would never wear them again, but whatever – and golden jewellery that complemented my skin, too. So after we had found all this stuff, I felt awesome – I felt like even if Jacob said no, I would have a lot of fun on the prom. I didn't need boys. I would look great on my prom – even with no one to look good for. But it was_ my _prom this time, and my turn to look stunning for myself.

Junior prom came nearer and nearer, and on the 15th of May, a week before our prom, Jacob called me in the afternoon. He didn't sound too happy. "Lee, can you drive me to the prom in Forks? I have to do something." Heart attack! Did he want to ask out Isabella? But she was already going out with Jasper's brother... "What do you have to do?" He sighed. "Warn Bella about her stupid boyfriend." "Warn her?" That sounded odd. Why wanted someone to warn Isabella about someone who in fact loved her? "You know, I don't like Cullen either", Jacob was saying, "But, like, honestly, he's not dangerous. Our parents shouldn't count too much on this tribal superstitious nonsense. I mean, they just are not vampires. In fact, there are no vampires at all, but the Cullens are even less vampires. I mean, Dr Cullen studied medicine, you can't do that as a vampire." He laughed, and I laughed with him, half-amused and half-thinking. I had totally forgotten about the Cullens and that according to legend, they were vampires. What an unusual story. I would have to ask Jasper some time why my tribe believed his family were bloodsuckers.

"So...", Jacob's voice trailed off, "Can you drive me?" I sighed. "Sure. I just have to get ready." "Great! Thank you! See you in a bit..." He hung up, and I rushed to my closet and tried to find something more appropriate to wear for visiting the Forksians' junior prom. I mean, after all, Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie and all those other pretty boys would be there, so I just had to wear something that was good enough for them.

Happily I pulled out my gym pants and a T-shirt that was so big that it fell off one of my shoulders. I put on my fake converse and hurried to my car.

In front of Jake's house I pressed the honk three times and then braided my hair in a very untidy way. The time I was done, Jake entered my car. He was wearing a white shirt and a tie. "Fancy-looking guy", I grinned at him. He made a grimace. "Thanks. I feel stupid, though." We chuckled, and then he said: "And what exactly are you wearing?" "My best clothes for the Forks teenagers." He grinned. "Yes, I can see that." I rolled my eyes. "You're a jerk."

I sped up, and fifteen minutes later we arrived in front of the place where the Forksians had their prom. "Okay, you go in there and find your Swan princess. I'll drive around the corner and wait there for you." Jacob kissed my cheek, grinned at me and got out of the car. I drove around the building to park there. What exactly wanted Billy to tell Isabella? What did he need to warn her about? And why was I so damn curious?

Somebody knocked at my window. I jumped and stared furiously at the pale face that was smiling at me. I got out of the car. "You scared me, stupid Confederate!" Jasper smiled. "I'm not stupid, Ma'am, I just scared you. What are you doing here?" "Playing taxi for my best friend. You look nice." He was wearing a light grey suit, a white shirt and a red tie. "Only nice?" He winked at me. "You, on the other hand, look rather..." "Ugly?", I asked. He looked shocked. "Oh, please, darlin', don't insult yourself. Nothing can destroy a beautiful girl like you are." I snorted, but smiled. What a nice thing to say. "Yeah, right. And, are you looking forward to your dance? I mean, you're all dressed up." He grinned. "My fiancée's work. She loves to do that." Ah! He'd given me another clue. So Alice was his fiancée, not his girlfriend. "When is your prom?" "Next Saturday." "And? With who are you going?" I shrugged. "I want to ask my best friend." "You _want _to?" "Yeah. I haven't yet. But I will!", I said quickly when Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You should, darlin'", he advised me in his Southern accent, "Otherwise some other girl might ask him – or he might ask someone else." Jacob hadn't asked me, either. That was probably not a good sign. But I would try anyway. Maybe he was too shy to ask me and waited for me to ask him. After all, it was the junior prom. "I know, I know. Don't you have to go to your prom now?" He grinned. "Am I getting on your nerves, Ma'am?" I shook my head. "No! I was just wondering." "I am waiting for my sister." I snorted. "Your fake sister, you mean." He shrugged. "Whatever. How are you?" "I'm okay. A little confused, maybe." "Why?" I sighed. "Mainly because of you." He looked shocked, but I knew it was fake. "Because of me?" "Yeah!", I exclaimed, "You and your weird statements, especially about you being a Confederate!" He chuckled. "I am sorry, Ma'am, it's not my fault that you need too long to find out my secret." I snorted. "Awesome, Whitlock, truly awesome." He stiffened when I said his name, and then he smiled. "Leah, you should come over more often. It's summer break soon, and we're probably not going on vacation, so I would love it if you came to visit us. Alice misses you, too." I raised an eyebrow. "We've only met twice." He winked at me. "Darlin', only once can already last for a lifetime."

I wanted to add something, but shut my mouth instead. His last sentence had touched me, and I didn't even know why. Like I had heard it before. Which I didn't, of that I was sure. But still...

"Oh, _her _again", a cold female voice said from next to me. It was Jasper's fake beauty queen sister, Rosalie. "Jasper, honestly, I don't get what you want from her. She's a _Quileute_." She pronounced our tribe's name as if it was something disgusting. I looked at Jasper and away from a woman that looked more beautiful than it was possible and whom I didn't want to find beautiful. "Well, Jasper, it seems like Blondie here wants to tell you something. I can't really understand her, she speaks perfect Bitch-ish." I saw that her mouth twitched. It looked like she tried not to smile. Jasper rolled his eyes. "I think I have to go now, darlin', Alice is waiting for me. I hope we can see us again soon, I miss talking to you." He hugged me, and I could smell his weird scent – I knew that once it had seemed too sweet for me, so sweet that it had burnt my nose. But now he smelled really good – like chocolate, dark chocolate that tasted both sweet and bitter, and like peaches, soft, juicy and fresh peaches, with the juice already dripping from them. Why did he smell like that? Was it a perfume? But what guy would wear a chocolate-and-peaches-perfume? Maybe it was Alice's scent – but then I remembered that she had smelled completely different.

I pressed Jasper against my body. It felt nice to be hugged by someone else than Jacob, by a friend whom I liked as a friend and nothing more. He felt cold, too.

I started feeling uncomfortable, and he released me, smiled and walked away, leaving me alone with his freaky sister.

"So, you actually want to be friends with my brother", she said coldly. "You can let down your masquerade now, Barbie, I know he's not your brother." Rosalie snorted. "You have no idea about us, Miss Know-it-all, so don't you dare say anything." "Well, Beauty Queen, look! I've already said something! And I can say even more: Don't _you _dare to tell me who to be friends with and who not." Rosalie pressed her hands against her hips. "Now listen closely, honey, you have absolutely no idea what you are getting into when dealing with my family, so I strongly advise you to Stay. Away. From. Us." I started laughing. It was fun to talk to her. Since Kayla had become a silent bitch, I missed having someone to fight with. "Blondie, I don't care about your advice. In fact, I don't care about you at all! And since this is a free country, I can decide for myself where to go and who to stay away from. And let me tell you, _Rosalie_", I pronounced her name exactly the same way she had pronounced 'Quileute', "if I want to meet Jasper, I will meet him, and I don't care about what corpses you are hiding, because I actually like your adopted brother." Rosalie took a deep breath. "I don't get him", she snorted, "You smell like wet dog."

That actually hurt me, but I'd never show that. "And you smell like foul roses ready to be thrown away!" What a pathetic statement. I knew I could do better. She seemed to know that, too, because she raised an eyebrow and said: "You're a sorry excuse for a woman. I'll see you around." She walked away, and I really hoped she would break her stilettos, but unfortunately, she knew how to walk with them. I thought about her last sentence. She'd see me around. How weird. Did she expect me to come and ring at the Cullens' house? It had sounded like partially, she didn't mind having me around.

That girl was major weird.

A little self-conscious, I sniffed at myself. Did I really smell like wet dog? I couldn't smell anything out of the ordinary.

Jacob returned ten minutes later, looking rather confused. "Did it go well?", I asked. He rolled his eyes. "That was so stupid! I bet she thinks I'm totally insane!" "Well, at least you've gotten something for it." "Wow. Twenty bucks." "And that car part you needed!" He grinned. "Yeah, and that car part. I mostly did it for that." "Nice to know that you can be bribed." He sighed. "You know me, Lee-Lee." He pulled out the twenty bucks. "Wanna go eat somewhere?" Now I grinned. "Sure! There's a diner not far from here. Think they let me inside?" We both looked at my 'outfit'. Jacob nodded. "Ah, you know you look beautiful no matter what you're wearing." I kissed his cheek. "You're too cute."

I parked in front of the diner, and we sat down at a small table. We ordered burgers and coke, which both came only fifteen minutes later. We ate in silence for the first ten minutes, then we began talking, mostly about Jacob's car and the excursion to Nootka land. And then Jacob changed the subject so radically that I couldn't follow him at first. "I think Edward's ugly. I don't know what Bella sees in him. I mean, why is she so in love with him?" I took a deep breath and put all my dislike for the Cullens into my voice. Which was hard, because there wasn't much dislike left anymore, thanks to Jasper. "He's very rich. Maybe she's just after his money." Jacob rolled his eyes. "Not Bella, Lee! She's too nice for that." "Have another guess, then." He thought for a moment. "He's a wizard and uses a spell to make her love him." I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I'll stick to him being rich." Jacob threw a fry at me. "You're so horrible sometimes! You would never be together with someone just because he's got a lot of money." I grinned. "I'm not Isabella." Jake groaned. "Leah!" "Oh, come on, Jake! She's gonna find out you're her one true love and will dump Cullen, marry you and bear you ten children. Will you go to prom with me?", I exhaled, trying not to look hopeful. "What?", Jacob asked. "Will you go to prom with me? Next Saturday?" Jacob looked confused, and I was expecting a no, when suddenly a huge bright smile appeared on his face. "Sure! I mean, of course! Awesome! Great! You're gonna drive? When should we meet, like half an hour before the dance starts, or hours before? Oh man, Lee, thanks, now I'm actually looking forward to next Saturday!"He bent over the table and kissed my cheek. I had fallen completely silent. His reaction had taken me by surprise. After all, I hadn't been expecting him wanting to be my prom date.

I exhaled again, and this time I sounded relieved. Jacob grinned. "Since when have you been thinking about asking me that?" I smiled sheepishly. "A while." Jacob was silent for a second. "Wow. What happened to my outspoken best friend?" "She became a shy little girl – oh, come on, just kidding. I don't know. I guess I thought you were already going with someone else. I was wrong." "Definitely. I'm so glad you've asked."

There was an awkward silence, and I chose a topic that was far away from me asking him out.

"So... what exactly did you have to tell Bella?"

"Do you want to hear the whole story, or just parts of it?" I leaned towards him, eager to listen to what he had to say. "The whole story, and don't you dare to leave out a single detail."

Jacob beamed at my interest, and I realized I loved this – being interested in what he had to say, being curious about his life. Maybe it hadn't been all the talk about cars that had bothered me about Alex, but the simple fact that it hadn't been Jacob talking about cars.

"So, like, I walked up to Bella and Cullen dancing. Bella looked so beautiful, you should have seen her." "I'm not so much into girls, but thank you anyway, Jake", I said, grinning. He threw another fry at me before he continued: "So, her leg is still hurt from that weird accident, she can't really walk, but anyway, we danced a little. I'm still surprised Cullen actually let me do that, he seems more like the jealous guy. Anyway, she asked me how tall I was, and I said six-two-" I interrupted him again. "Really? Six feet two? I haven't noticed you growing!" "Because you see me everyday. So, we were dancing, and I told her that Dad had paid me to to come to her prom, and then she teased me with all the other girls who were there, but to be honest with you, Lee, she was the prettiest girl there. Told her that." I could think of at least two other girls who were a lot more beautiful than Isabella Swan, although one of them was more of a bitch than a girl. "She wanted to know what I wanted from her, and I told her Dad had promised me to buy me the master cylinder if I told her something. She practically urged me to say it, and, boy, I can tell you that Cullen didn't look too happy about me talking to her. Anyway, I told her Dad doesn't believe she fell in phoenix and she emphasized that if Cullen and his dad hadn't been there, she could have died. Have to tell Dad that", he grimaced, "The way he sees it, those two are actually responsible for her accident. I think he's becoming insane, what do you think?" I just grinned. "Continue." Jacob took a deep breath. "I didn't want to tell her what I had to tell her, but she urged me to do so. So I told her from Dad that 'we'll be watching'. I for myself have no idea who 'we' is and what they are watching, but Dad seemed so serious that I didn't ask. Bella said I should say thanks. Looked a little as if she sort of knew what Dad was talking about. She's way too nice, listening to a madman like my dad. And that's it, pretty much. So, what do you think? Stupid, huh?" I shook my head, and then I nodded. "A little. But it's not your fault. Dad's acting weird, too, at the moment, mostly talking about tribal myths. 'bout time that the Quileute Days start again, this tribal stuff drives our fathers crazy." Jacob nodded. Then he stood up. "Let's go home. I don't want to meet drunk Forksians." He paid, and we left the diner and drove home.

When I was back in my room, I took out my journal which Jake had given me for my birthday and which now served as a safe for all those text messages I had gotten from Jasper. I had copied every single one of them and then had deleted them from my cell. Just in case.

But now I did not copy any message. Now I simply drew circles with every color I got my hands on, big, happy, colorful circles. I thought about texting Jasper to tell him that Jacob indeed had said yes , but then I thought that I would probably interrupt him doing something with his girlfriend – sorry, fiancée – and I didn't want that. I could still write tomorrow.

I wished the picture of Leah Clearwater the Older good night and fell asleep almost right away, hoping not to dream of either Confederates or big gray wolves.

Of course hope failed me again, and so I kept on running away from that huge wolfish monster, almost panicking and giving up this time. But I kept on running instead, I couldn't convince myself that Seth was fine without me. I wasn't ready to be eaten by a monster.

It had gotten slower after I had screamed at it the day I had been sick, but I still had to run if I wanted to escape.

Fortunately, the following week went by pretty fast, and when it was Saturday, May 22nd, I woke up looking more hideous than ever before. Fate hated me, of that I was sure. My skin looked completely dry, as if you could peel my whole body. I had a pimple on my nose and three on my forehead. I gave them names of people I hated because it would be more fun to get rid off them then.

After I had taken a shower, I rubbed body lotion into my skin so that the dry look would go away. But after I had dried my hair, I had another major problem. Two, actually. Problem number one was that my hair looked extremely frizzy and knotted, and I would need ages to make it look acceptable. Problem number two was that I didn't even know what to do with my hair. Open? Ponytail? For five minutes or so I considered a surprise visit at the Cullens' to ask Alice – Jasper had said that she liked dressing people – if she could help me, but since I didn't know what they were up to today, I didn't want to bother them.

Finally I decided to put my long hair into a high ponytail. As it was already getting late, I put on my dress and my jewellery and put the shoes at the front door. Couldn't drive with them, anyway.

I was about to walk back upstairs, when the door bell rang. I opened the door, and there stood Jacob, wearing a really nice suit with a white shirt and the tie he'd worn at the Forksians' prom.

"Wow, Jacob, you look-", I couldn't find the right word. Fortunately Mom helped me out. She stepped out of the kitchen. "Well, Mr Black, don't you look dashing!" Jake grinned shyly. "Thanks, Sue." Mom came to hug us both. "I can't believe you're already so grown-up! I remember when you two were still little kids-" Before she could start telling what exactly she remembered, I took Jacob by the hand and led him upstairs to my room. Jacob took a small wristband with flowers out of his pocket and handed it to me. The flowers were red. They looked great with my dress, and, to be honest, I couldn't wait for the dance to begin. But I still had to put on make-up, so I said: "Jake, can you pull out a jacket from my closet? I don't care which one. I'm in the bathroom for, like, five minutes or so."

I was about to apply mascara when suddenly a heavy voice whispered: "Lee... what is this?" I turned round to see Jacob standing a meter away from me, holding a little box in his hand.

Sam's engagement ring. I had completely forgotten I had put it into my closet before we had redecorated my room. Shit, shit, SHIT!

"Well, this is... this is...", I stammered, "This is nothing, really." Jacob opened the box and held the ring in front of my nose. "This is not nothing, Leah! This is a freaking engagement ring!" I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my confidence. "No, it's not. It's a promise to an engagement. And since that promise has been broken, this ring is nothing. Give it back to me." I tried to get the box back, but Jacob was great at evasive maneuvering. "Why didn't you tell me?", he asked, his voice full of accusation. "I told nobody", I said, "I was too young back then, and now it's over. Give it back." "You should have told me", Jacob said with a sad voice, "I'm your friend." I sighed. "Yeah, you are. But not back then! Look, it doesn't matter anymore, I'll never marry Sam", or anyone at all, "so please give me back the ring." Jacob looked at me for a second before he said: "Doesn't matter, huh? Then why are you crying?" I suddenly realized that hot tears were running down my cheeks. I wiped them away. Why was I crying? "That's nothing, honestly. Could we just not talk about this anymore? I feel uncomfortable. Now give me back the ring." Cautiously, Jacob handed me the box. I sighed. Jacob looked thoughtful. "I had taken you for the girl that burns everything of her boyfriend after he broke up. Appears I have been wrong." "I don't need to burn it, Jacob. That doesn't take the pain away." He smiled and kissed my cheek. "You're a brave little girl." I hit him. "I'm not little! Come on, let's go."

I quickly threw the box on my bed and rushed downstairs, a strange feeling of freedom running through my body. I felt like someone had taken a heavy burden from me. That must have been how Frodo felt when he got rid of the One Ring.

We took Seth and Abby with us to our school. We had a lot of fun on our way there, but I did feel a little awkward since I was three and four years older than my three friends. I also was one year older than most of my classmates. I still hated my parents for letting me go to school a year later than usual. Two years, compared with my ex and my two best friends, the Black sisters.

My life was weird.

I had parked and had locked the car when I received a message from Jasper's number.

Hope you have a lot of fun tonight. Wish I could be there to see you shine. You're invited to come over soon. Jasper.

Abby and Seth walked away from us and waved good-bye. Jacob held his hand up, and I took it. "That feels a little weird", he smirked at me. My good mood started to fade. Weird? Holding my hand while walking towards the school shouldn't feel weird. I was pissed.

"You look nice", he said. "Thank you." Nice? NICE? Only nice? He looked awesome, and the only thing he could think of was telling me I looked nice! I could recall that last Saturday, he had told me that Isabella Swan-princess had been the prettiest girl on the Forksians' prom. And now I, the 'Quileute Queen', as he once had called me, only looked nice?

Somehow, just being friends – as the bracelet Jake had given me on Valentine's Day stated, too (stupid 'best friends') – wasn't enough for me anymore. He was my best friend, and I wanted him to stay that forever, but I knew that a growing part of me wanted him to be more than just my friend, wanted him to be my lover. Even if he was three years younger than I was.

I was glad I knew for myself that I looked stunning.

Shouting and yelling, Quil and Embry came running towards us. They both wore suits, but both didn't look as good as Jacob.

Quil was beaming. "Oh, oh, Lee, guess what!", he said as he pulled me into a hug, "Carlie said yes, and she looks awesome, and she's waiting for me." He winked at me. I rolled my eyes at Embry who unfortunately beamed, too. "And Hannah's here with me, too! She's wearing a beautiful black dress." "Awesome! I'm glad you two have found dates." Both grinned and looked at me. Quil looked sheepishly away after a few seconds, but Embry wasn't so shy. He smiled a huge smile at me. "Leah, you look so beautiful. Do you have any idea how breathtaking you look? Yeah, you do", he concluded at my grin, "Still, I wanted to tell you that. You know, if you weren't with Mr Jealousy right here-" "Haha", Jacob made. "- I would totally ask you to dance with me." I winked at him. "I'll see what I can do, Call." Embry threw me a crooked smile. "Sure, gorgeous. Come on, let's go inside. The DJ is the bomb."

Jacob and I followed them into the gym hall of our school, where Mr Cauldwell stood and checked whether we looked okay enough for prom.

As soon as we were inside, Quil turned round to us and took a bottle out of his jacket. "What is that?", Jake and I asked in unison. "That, my very dear friends, is bottled courage... in the form of an alcoholic beverage that is called vodka." I stared at Quil, a little shocked. "Honestly? Are you really that stupid? Do you have any idea how much alcohol this bottle contains? I don't want to be with you when you're drunk, and I would advise your dates to do the same." "No!", Embry said with a little smile, "Because that's what we need bottled courage for! We want to kiss our dates!" I rolled my eyes. "Come on, Jake." And I dragged Jacob to the buffet, where we drank some coke. I really hoped Quil and Embry would throw their bottles away.

Jake groaned. "I will kill them if they're drunk, I swear I will. That is completely immature." I nodded. "Totally. I really hope that they forget about that." We smiled at each other desperately. Jared and Kim danced past us. Jared threw a weird glance at Jacob, luckily Jake didn't see it. I wondered why Jared and Paul were often looking at Jake in a checking-out-way. That was creepy.

Almost at the same time a person who absolutely deserved my evil glance walked to the buffet. Against all barbie expectations Kayla wore a long red dress that would probably have looked nice if she hadn't worn a facial expression that revealed her complete unwillingness to having fun. She didn't say hi and just emptied one glass of coke after another. I looked at Jacob. He shrugged slightly, and then we walked away. "I hate her", I stated. Jacob chuckled. "You were friends with her!" "I know", I hissed, "I can't believe it myself." Jake grinned at me. "Lee, you're so awesome. I'm so glad we're friends." SHUT UP AND KISS ME, I wanted to shout at him, but that would have been more than stupid.

"Wanna dance?", I asked after a second. He turned red and shook his head. "I- I don't like dancing much. I feel embarrassing doing it. Sorry, Lee." I raised an eyebrow. Was that honestly true? Or was I being paranoid thinking about whether he just didn't want to dance with me? Oh, this was pissing me off. We had almost kissed two times, and every time someone had interrupted us. First my ex, and then my brother. I began seeing a pattern there.

"Okay then", I smiled to hide my disappointment, "I'll go dancing on my own then. See you." Jacob nodded – pissing me off there again – and I walked onto the dance floor.

I had always loved dancing. I could dance almost everything from a waltz to salsa, but I could also dance usual clubbing-style. Which I did now.

Fortunately for me and my self-esteem, me dancing clubbing-style still worked the way I had remembered it from other school dances and parties. After a minute most boys were looking at _me. _Kayla, who had found someone to dance with, looked especially pissed when her new dance partner let fall her hand while watching me. And I? I was happy that although I didn't have many friends, I was suddenly in the center of attention. And I loved being there.

Suddenly someone grabbed my waist with soft, but big hands, and whispered: "Okay, you've talked me into it. I can't stand that they're all looking at you."

It was Jacob.

I was so happy that it felt weird. Jacob danced great. And apparently he was jealous when others looked at me. Jealousy was definitely not part of a friendship. Was it?

A new song was playing, but we didn't stop dancing until we heard a hugh-pitched giggling from a corner of the gym hall. It sounded a lot like Embry. Jake and I looked at each other. "Oh no!", he mouthed at me. "Not good!", I mouthed back. Silently we agreed go looking for our friends, and we both hoped that they weren't drunk.

Our hopes were shattered when we found both very much drunk in the corner that was the farthest from the buffet (and the teachers, apparently some kind of intelligence was still with the two morons), with Carlie and Hannah both looking confused and annoyed. "Hey", Carlie said to me, sounding very relieved, "Thank God you're here, because I have no idea what's wrong with them. So... they're your problem now." She took Hannah's hand and both went away. I felt sorry for them. They had expected a nice funny prom date and not two drunk, giggling boys.

And they giggled way too loud! I didn't know what was so funny about a dead bee – because that was what they were laughing about – but apparently it was hilarious enough for both guys to roar with laughter.

I groaned. At least they weren't puking. Yet. I wished I wouldn't have to make that addition.

"Look, Lee, it's a bee!", Embry said in a very soprano voice. "That rhymes!", Quil said with a goofy grin on his face. Jacob and I looked at each other. "Maybe they should go outside and calm down for a while", Jake proposed. That sounded very sensible, and so we both pushed and dragged them out. Quil was sad that he had to leave the bee. "That was an awesome bee", he kept on telling everyone. I wondered if he'd taken anything else than just vodka.

When we were outside, we sat Quil an Embry down on a bench and waited for the cool air to work its magic. Quil started laughing about the starts, while Embry started thinking loudly about the feelings of straw. I shook my head in annoyance. I hadn't expected my junior prom to be like this.

"I think they're okay" Jake suddenly whispered. I looked at the two drunks. They were now having a discussion that was about the size of Embry's right foot. "Let's walk a little." I nodded, and we linked arms.

We walked in circles never staying far from Quil and Embry. The music was loud enough to be heard here outside, and Jake and I didn't talk. We watched the two jerks watching the starts for a while, and I began thinking about zodiac signs when Jacob suddenly whispered: "Damn, Lee, you look so beautiful. Honestly." Wow. What had changed his mind? In two hours from nice to beautiful. Nice development!

I smiled shyly. "Thanks. You're sweet." Jake grinned. "I know. Always try to be sweet around a pretty girl." He winked at me. Then he spun me around like you did in Discofox dance. I loved that.

Suddenly I tripped over his shoe and almost fell, but he caught me before – no, that would have happened, if my life was a romantic comedy.

It wasn't.

So I actually fell. Jacob looked at me in shock before he started giggling. He bowed down to me and helped me up. "I'm sorry", he grinned, "Are you alright?" I nodded, looking into his beautiful brown eyes.

And there it was – that moment again, the same moment that had been there on Halloween and when we had redecorated my room. I glanced around. No one was there to disturb us now, no one was there to interrupt us.

I looked at Jacob again. He seemed to think the same, because his face came closer to mine. Closer, and closer, and closer – still no one to disturb us – and a little closer again. Hopeful as I was, I closed my eyes...

… and suddenly his lips touched mine.

They felt soft and warm, and my heart almost exploded. He was kissing me! He really was!

Jacob's hands took mine, and he drew me closer to him, still kissing me. It felt so great to kiss him – to be kissed by him; I didn't want this moment to end – this beautiful, blissful moment that warmed my whole body. And suddenly I knew that I was in love with my fifteen-year-old best friend.

That realization made happy, and I leaned into the kiss. I wanted it to be never-ending and ever-lasting, but deep inside me I knew this would be one of the moments that was ever-ending and never-lasting.

"What are you selling there, pal?"

Jake and I jumped away from each other. Quickly we realized that no one was talking to us. Out of pure curiosity, Jacob grabbed my hand and we sneaked around the corner to see who had spoken.

There was Jared. But he wasn't alone. He was standing in front of a big guy with lots of muscles who probably would have looked frightening but who looked very small and weak next to Jared. Behind Jared there was Paul, and he was looking at the guy with pure hatred.

"Nothing", the guy said, his voice only half betraying his courageous appearance. Jared raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't count meth as nothing, would you, Paul?" Paul shook his head. But his head wasn't the only thing that was shaking – his whole body was trembling, and he looked like he had a hard time to control himself.

"Calm down, Paul", a deep familiar voice said. It came from the shadows, and even I felt intimidated, although I wasn't the one who was threatened.

Sam stepped out of the darkness, and he looked so angry that it scared me to death. I suddenly was very happy that it wasn't me he was angry at.

Paul was very still now, but he glanced murderously at the man who stood helplessly in front of the three young men.

"What do you want from me?", the man asked, and this time, he sounded very scared. Sam cleared his throat. "You're selling meth to our kids." It wasn't a question, but a simple statement. Jacob held his breath as the man cringed. "No! No, I would never-" He was cut off by a loud growl that came from Paul's direction. Jake and I stood there, frozen. We couldn't move – curiosity held us where we were while instinct drew us away. The growl had been more than just frightening. It had sounded almost inhuman. "Calm down!", Sam repeated before he turned back to the man. "You're lying, filth, and you know it. It would be better for your help if you'd stop that." The man flinched. "Are you threatening me?" "No", Sam stated, "This is not a threat. This is an order. Do as you're told, and we'll leave you alone. Come back once, and you'll wish you'd chosen the first option."

The man nodded, now clearly frightened. "I am sorry, I am. I – my family, we need the money, and-" Sam raised his hand. That silenced the man immediately. "I do not care about that. Earn honest money, that will support your family much better. I tell you – come back here once, and you'll leave this reservation in an ambulance." The man nodded again. Jake and I looked at each other, both with a scared look in our eyes. Sam really meant it. He was threatening a person. I had never taken him for that kind of guy. That disappointed me, and it shocked me, too. How did he even know the man was guilty? "Now give me your drugs", Sam commanded, and in that moment, Quil let out a high-pitched laughter. Jake and I both froze in shock, and then, when we realized with relief that the men hadn't heard Quil, Jake whispered: "Let's go back to Quil and Embry. I don't think we're supposed to see that."

But I was way too curious. "You go and calm them down. I'll stay here and tell you what happened." Jacob nodded. "Okay, Miss Curious, play your little private investigator game. But hurry up, okay? I don't like it when you're alone with a drug dealer and three guys that could go hulk any minute." I smiled and nodded, and Jacob sneaked away.

I looked around the corner again. Sam held his hand out to the man, who was searching hectically in his pockets.

And then I gasped when instead of a bag of drugs, he took a gun out of his pocket. He didn't shiver anymore – he felt brave now.

I feared for Sam. I was angry with him, but I didn't want him hurt. I didn't want him to be shot, I didn't want him to bleed. Not in reality, in any case.

"Now who's the one who's threatening? Who's the one?", he said with a menacing voice.

I was shivering now; I was sure one could smell my fear miles from here. I was already planning to jump in between Sam and the gun, but I knew that even if I was brave enough to do so, I wouldn't be fast enough. But, maybe, if I just stepped in now... maybe that would produce enough confusion to-

I heard a loud growl and then a strange ripping sound. I rubbed my eyes. "Paul!", Sam bellowed, and the man with the gun shrieked in fear. I was still rubbing my eyes, but the picture didn't disappear.

That was impossible.

Only that it was very real.

Paul had disappeared. In his place stood a huge, dark grey wolf that was growling at the man, who had let fallen his weapon and was crawling on the ground. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" He pulled out a bag of drugs and tossed it to Sam. "Can I go now? Can I go now, please?" The wolf howled, but it wasn't loud enough to be heard a few meters away. Sam nodded. "Let him go, Paul." The wolf retreated, and the man hurried to get away. I pressed myself against the wall, too scared that he might see me. He didn't, fortunately, but I still didn't move. I didn't want Sam or Jared or the wolf – Paul? Wolf? Paul? - to see me.

I returned to Jake with huge but fake smile and told him Sam had told the man to leave Quileute land, which he'd done. I would never tell him I had seen a transformation from man to... well, to wolf.

This event had erased all my happiness about the kiss. In fact, the kiss seemed more and more like a dream now. That made me sad – on the one hand. On the other hand that meant I wouldn't have to deal with everything that came after a kiss like that. I knew Jake wouldn't think much about the kiss, either, because he was way too occupied with Quil, Embry and the drug dealer.

Sad, but true. I would forget it until he'd talk about it. Until then, nothing had happened.

I drove the drunk boys home and then dropped Jake off at his house. Jacob winked at me and kissed my cheek, and then I could finally drive home and to my bed. Seth was spending the night at Abby's, but that didn't concern me much right now.

Jake had kissed me, and Sam and his stupid followers had destroyed that moment.

And that made me realize:

The legends – they were true. Men could turn into wolves. Paul could turn into a wolf.

The legends really were true. There was no arguing around it – they were true, and real, and really happening.

My junior prom really was a disaster.

**So... That's pretty much the end of Twilight. But before we come to New Moon, there are the summer holidays! Hope you look as much forward to what's happening next as I do, and thanks for sticking with Leah all the time!**


	25. Finally Summer

**I have written two out of four exams, so here's my new chapter. Sorry for keeping you waiting!**

**I don't own Twilight.**

Finally Summer

Prom had given me the shock of my life. I still hadn't processed what had happened – I still couldn't believe that the myths were true stories. Yes, I had suspected that, but still – I had never imagined that these stories could _still _be true. That there still were spirit wolves. And that my ex-boyfriend was one of them!

I hadn't told Jacob. Nor would I – he would never believe me, and I was not risking a major fight over myth and truth.

I hadn't told Dad, either. I was sure he was in on that, but I was also convinced that I was not supposed to know about it. Sounded a lot like tribal secret; after all, no one should know that we had spirit wolves – or men that could turn into wolves.

Like werewolves. Were they like werewolves? Who bit someone and then he could turn into a monstrous and blood-thirsty beast? But then Paul hadn't eaten the man. He hadn't looked like your classic werewolf, too. More like a normal wolf, only in huge.

The legends were true. This sentence kept spinning around my head. There was no way around it. No arguments to prove me wrong. I had seen a myth come true, I had seen a myth actually happen. Paul had turned into a humongous wolf. He had ripped from his body and his suit had exploded. I was too confused.

And there was no way I could tell anyone! I was alone with my secret, that was actually my tribe's secret, that I most certainly shouldn't know.

And to be honest, the thing that bothered me most was that I couldn't think much about the kiss because I thought too much about the stupid secret.

I wanted to think about the kiss. I mean, we actually had kissed! Jacob and I had kissed! I wanted to think about that every minute, every second. But every time I did, Wolf-Paul kept appearing in my mind.

Were Sam and Jared wolves, too? They had to be – I mean, first of all, they looked very much the same. Short hair, they always wore short clothes and they had _tattoos_. And then, second, they always spent their time together. Sure, Sam wasn't going to school anymore, but after school, the three of them met. They were inseparable. And in school, it was always Paul and Jared – well, and Kim. Kim was stuck to Jared exactly the same way that Emily was stuck to Sam – like a stamp. They were like a gang, like a wolf-family... Like a... Like a...

Like a pack.

A pack. Oh my god. A pack. An actual wolf pack. A pack of Quileute wolf-men and their females. My life was craaaaaaaaaaaazy!

I couldn't believe it. There was a pack. Could the women turn into wolves, too? But they looked different than the three men. So, were they just partners?

And why couldn't I stop thinking about that? Why did I always see Paul as a wolf? In school, I couldn't even look at him properly. I couldn't look at Jared, too. Problem was that Jared was my classmate, and I sat next to him in English, so I was bound to speak with him. It felt very awkward.

I wanted everything to be different – to be the way it had been before prom. I'd even trade the kiss! Just to make this awkward feeling go away.

Why did we have these wolves? Why were they here? What was the trigger for that?

Arrrgh, I needed to get that stuff of my mind! School was almost over – I should concentrate on waiting for summer break instead trying to NOT concentrate on my tribe's biggest secret.

It seemed like my teachers felt a sudden need to give us even more homework than usual. I almost drowned in work. I had to do essays, hundreds of them, and my English teacher had decided that we should read a random book and write a reader's diary about it. In a month! I didn't even know what book to read. There were so many things on my mind, so many more important things than school.

The legends were true. Taha Aki had made the step from man to wolf to man. And now there still were wolves. There still was a wolf pack. And it seemed like they were still protecting our tribe.

That scared me.

If I didn't do homework or thought about tribal myths, I worked at the _Lonesome Creek Store_. Logan was a funny employer. The only thing that really bothered me was that he always made me sorting out the mouldy vegetables, and that was extremely disgusting. It wasn't that Logan handed me all the dirty work, it was just that he didn't think of it. And because I was a control freak, I checked the shelves every Friday.

That was why Logan had started to call me his 'Angel'. It was tidy when I had worked my magic.

"Leah, my angel", Logan called. I looked above the vegetable shelves. "Yes?" "Come to the cashier, please! I have to go home for about half an hour." "Sure!", I called back and threw away five old apples. I walked up to the cashier and waited for customers.

First customer, as usual on Fridays, was Emily. It felt more and more awkward to meet her. First, she was my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend, and second, she probably was in on the big tribal secret.

Emily smiled at me; the scars on her face made it look like a strange grimace. What had happened to her again? Oh right – a bear attack. On Halloween. Where Jacob and I had sat on the beach and had almost (!) kissed.

Wait.

There had been a wolf howl. Right after Sam had turned up. Could it be that- no way. That was impossible. But – Could it be that it had not been a bear? That it had been a wolf? That would explain the constant feeling of guilt Sam was emanating when being around Emily. But why would he hurt Emily? That just couldn't have happened. I didn't even want to imagine how it must have hurt to have big claws in one's face. How it must have bled. I had only seen her from further away.

"Hello, Leah", Emily smiled. Our relationship had cooled down a lot. "Hey. What do you need?" "Flour, sugar and apples. And chocolate chips, do you have them?" I smiled a very fake smile. "I'll take a look, please be patient." I knew I sounded mechanically, but I just couldn't talk to her properly. It was like she had left me, too. In just a few weeks, I had lost my boyfriend and my best friend.

Oh hell, whatever. I walked to a shelf and looked for chocolate chips. Unfortunately, we had one package left. I took it and gave it to Emily. "Here you go." Cool voice. No friendly tone. I was trying to make clear that she had hurt me very much. But, unfortunately for me, she always tried to communicate with me in a friendly way. I always blocked that.

"Thank you, Leah", she said after she had collected said flour, sugar and apples, "That's all." I smiled another fake smile. "You are very welcome." Oh, come on, she must have noticed that I didn't want to talk with her! Ah, she hadn't. "The weather is great today, isn't it?" I glanced outside. It was gray, but it didn't rain. I wouldn't count that as great. Looked more like usual. "Yeah, whatever." What a nice answer. I was too friendly sometimes. Could she just leave now?

Irony aside. She was my cousin, and I should at least try to be nice.

She paid for everything and smiled at me again. Her scars really looked awful. "Goodbye, Leah. I'll see you around. If you see Sam, can you tell him that I'm making muffins tonight?" I nodded mechanically. Only after she had left the store, I realized what I had agreed to. I had to talk to Sam.

I wouldn't see him today. Of that I was sure. He almost never came by, only sometimes to get something for Emily.

But today was my lucky day. Just twenty minutes later my stupid big musculous ex-boyfriend entered the store, and Logan hadn't returned yet.

Sam nodded at me and I smiled a huge fake smile back. Deep inside me, something hurt. Damn. And here I had thought I wasn't so much in love with him anymore.

Suddenly Sam stood in front of me. "Hey Leah, how are you? How was your prom?" Horrible! Weird! Confusing! Annoying! Question-raising! I mean, what did he think? That it was great to go with your best friend instead of a real boyfriend, of a real date, like last year to Sam's senior prom?

He had looked awesome in his suit, and he had gone home with me after the party. It had felt really nice to have him sleeping next to me. And now, when I was looking at him, it just felt awful. Why did he have to smile at me with that very same pained expression he'd had when he'd broken up with me?

The memory of the worst day of my life came back. I had tried hard to surpress it, but sometimes it just resurfaced. The memory of the day where the man I had loved the most had broken every promise he'd ever given me.

He had promised to stay with me. Whatever would happen.

Broken.

He had promised to love me forever.

Broken.

He had promised to marry me.

Broken.

He had promised to protect me from every harm.

Broken, too.

And everytime I looked at Sam, I remembered the pain I had felt when he had told me we couldn't be together anymore.

"Hey. I'm okay! Prom was great", well, it had been great until I had seen Paul changing into a beastly... well, beast. "That's great. Jared told me you looked stunning." Was he trying to flirt with me? I smiled. "Don't I always?" He grinned. He probably was happy that I talked to him. That made me roll my eyes. Did he really think I could forgive him for leaving me? That was impossible.

"Yes, you do. Now, do you have chocolate chips? Emily needs them." I smiled again. "Oh, you don't have to get them. She's already been here. I'm supposed to tell you that she's going to make muffins for tonight's dinner." "Oh!" He looked pleased. "Thanks. Can I get you anything?" Yeah, he could leave right now. "No, thank you, Sam, I'm good. Anything else you want?" He looked around. "Do you have beer?" I raised my eyebrows. "Sorry, Sammy, you're not twenty-one yet." He winked at me. "Come on, Leah. Logan's not here." I grinned evilly. "And I don't care. You have to wait a few more years, babe." Sam looked at me, and a crooked smile appeared on his face. "Are you trying to flirt with me?" I snorted. "I gave that up some time ago. Now, if you could mind your own business?" I blinked a few times, as if I hoped that he would disappear in between.

He sighed. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?" Oh, great! It was time for an irony attack. It is your turn, irony!

"No! Why would you think that, Samuel Uley? Why should I be mad? I am totally fine with you breaking my heart every time I see you. Honestly, I feel awesome!" Why did irony have to sound so pathetic after a while? He probably thought I was a hysterical ex-girlfriend that couldn't let him go.

Oh, wait! I was a hysterical ex-girlfriend that couldn't let him go.

I really was pathetic.

Sam wore a pained expression. "Leah, I am... please, you don't understand. I want to explain, but I can't. It's... I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't want to hurt you. Can you believe me?" I shook my head, trying to hold back any stupid comment. I didn't want to piss off the Alpha male. How had he become a wolf? When? Had he been my boyfriend back then? Questions and questions, I would have to ask Dad at some time.

Alpha male. I was pretty sure that Sam was the Alpha male. The way he had spoken to Paul, the way Jared and Paul always followed him...

Sam nodded. "Alright then. I can't be more than sorry, Lee-Lee", that stupid nickname again, couldn't he just shut up, "If you can't forgive me, I can understand that. But I am sorry. There was never a person I wanted to hurt less than you." I grinned, but I knew that it looked like a grimace. "Well, there's one now", I said bitterly. Sam's eyes flashed at me. "What do you mean?" "Just that now, you have Emily?" He looked very much in pain now. "Leah, please! That wasn't my decision! If I had been able to decide, I would have chosen you! I hace always believed that you were the perfect fit for me, but I couldn't help it!" I remembered what Dad had told me about my ancestor and her husband from the Black family. "You have fullen in love with Emily in a way that is not reversible."

Right conclusion. Sam looked at me in shock. "Yeah – but how do you – do you understand what that means?" "I understand that it means you can't love me anymore", I said. I had enough of that. "And now, if you have something more to say, talk to the hand", I declared, raised my hand in his direction and walked away. I heard Sam sigh, and then the door as he was leaving the store. "Yeah, go right back to your Alpha female!", I shouted. The door was shut, and then Sam stood in front of me again. "What did you say?" He sounded confused. "Oh, nothing", I smiled with a sheepish expression, and bewildered, Sam walked away.

I still grinned when I took out my cell phone and dialed Jasper's number.

Why Jasper?

Because I didn't want to give Jacob the impression that Sam still bothered me. Jacob was my new person of interest, and it would only be contraproductive to tell him about my problem with Sam.

Besides, Jasper had a secret, and the whole We-have-a-pack-of-wolf-men-thing was kind of a secret, too, so we both were a little secretive and I could get a little revenge.

"Yes?", the melodic voice said. Now that I had gotten to know him, I could hear his accent in every small word. "Hey, Jasper, it's me, Leah. Do you have a moment?" "I have two moments for you, if you need them, my dear. What is on your mind?" I told him about Sam's and my conversation. I left out most of my thoughts, though. They would have given away my secret. But I told him everything else, and what was great was that he listened to me without interrupting even once.

Unbelievable that our friendship had gotten so far.

"So, my dear, and what exactly bothered you so much? I mean, you keep telling me that you do not love this man anymore, and here you call me to tell me how horrible it is to speak to him?" It wasn't that Jasper was insensitive. Not a bit. He just knew exactly what to say to make me realize things. Although it was sometimes difficult to cope with his statements, he almost always made me see things from a different and often clearer perspective.

"Well, it's just – I think I'm still in love with him, at least partially! And it just hurts to see him, and even more to talk to him!" Jasper chuckled. "I know, my dear." This was leading nowhere. "Come on, tell me what I can do to get this feeling away! It's not like I want to be still in love with him." Now he snorted. "You ask me to do what? My dear, I may have studied psychology-"

And there it was again. Jasper's mysterious comments. Everytime I talked to him, he added some new information. That had been our deal. He didn't lie to me and didn't filter his statements, and I tried to find out what his secret was without him telling me. I added the new statement to my list of Jasper's Mysterious Secret Revealers:

1. His name was Whitlock, not Hale or Cullen

2. Rosalie was not his real sister

3. He was raised as a Confederate

4. He knew that I had always been a special woman

5. Alice was his fiancée

6. He didn't feel any hunger

7. I smelled weird to him

8. He had studied psychology

And that were only the most striking ones. In fact, I was very sure now that he could only be a lot older than eighteen or nineteen or whatever he said he was. I just hadn't dared to ask him yet. I needed more proof.

"- but your case is far too complicated to be discussed on the phone." "Bullshit", I said. He chuckled. "Okay, I hope this helps you: You and Sam, you had been very far with your relationship for your age. He proposed to you, sort of, and that is not something people nowadays do so early. You had pictured yourself with an adult Sam in a pretty house not far away from your family, with two or more children calling you 'Mom' and him 'Daddy'. You had pictured yourself in a beautiful wedding dress, walking on your father's hand towards a beaming Sam, who would be happy to give his name, his love and his life to you.

"But then, incomprehensible for you because he never explained, he suddenly broke every promise he had given you. And instead of marrying you, of having children with you, he suddenly goes out with someone you have introduced to him, to someone you have grown up with, someone you have loved like a sister, and he promises the same things to her. Darlin', you have lost your boyfriend to your best friend and your best friend to your boyfriend. Two very important people in just one day! You feel alone, and especially betrayed. This is not something you can solve with a single recipe and in just one day. This is a long and hard process that hurts once in a while.

"But you're on the wight way, Leah. I can feel it, I can feel that you get better. I remember when we met for the very first time, in that jewellery store in Seattle. It felt different with you. So much pain – which you hid, and you are great at hiding – but I still could feel that something had torn you apart, something had moved your little world to another place.

"And now, everytime I meet you, I can sense that you are healing. Your world does not move back, but it feels okay where it is. What I am trying to tell you, my little Indian princess, is that you do not need my help to find the right way to get over Sam. You are doing fine on your own. You are going the right way. And don't worry, my dear, some day, you will wake up and not waste one thought on your lost love. I have that trust in you."

I sighed. It was a little disturbing, but also encouraging. Amazingly, his words were comforting. "Thanks, Jasper. You're a great friend. I don't know what I would do – and here comes Jacob, I need to hang up. Talk to you later!" And I put my cell phone back into my pocket.

I beamed. I felt so light right now. Surely Jasper was right.

I beamed at Jacob, who was standing in front of me with a chocolate bar in his hands. "I need sugar!", he moaned. "That's a dollar", I said, grabbing the bar. "A dollar? Are you kidding me? Since when has chocolate gotten so expensive?" I shrugged. "Since Logan makes the prices." Jake sighed heavily. "Oh well, whatever. I need the sugar right now." He handed me a dollar, and I gave him the chocolate bar. "Thanks", he groaned hungrily. I laughed. "Jeez! Haven't you had any lunch?" "'Course I had, but Dad forgot the dessert, and I need my daily amount of sugar." I thought about my problems. I'd rather have a sugar shortage than thinking about a stupid kiss or giant wolves.

My life was way too complicated.

"When's your shift over?", Jacob asked. I looked at my watch. "In thirty minutes. Why?" "Do you mind if I wait for you? We could do something fun. Watch _Ghostbusters_. It's on TV tonight." Actually, that sounded like a pretty good idea. _Ghostbusters_ was a great movie. "Okay! Your place or mine?" Jake thought. Then he said: "Better your place, Dad has Charlie over for some game. They're gonna occupy the living room." "Well, that means Dad wants to watch it as well. But we could probably just-" "-take him to my house so the three of them can watch the game together, which would leave your living room unoccupied", Jacob finished my sentence. Amazing how close we had gotten. Close enough for him knowing exactly what was on my mind.

Maybe my life wasn't complicated at all. Maybe my life was just awesome. And maybe Jacob and I could finally talk about prom night.

It was already late when the movie ended, and I walked Jacob to the door. "So...", he looked on the ground. I felt a little strange, too. "See you, Jake." He nodded. "Yeah, wish you a good night." We hugged, and he kissed my cheek. Having my cheek kissed was getting on my nerves!

He had only walked two meters when I called him back. "Jacob!" He turned round. "About prom..." He walked back to me. "Yes?"

But before I could say anything, a loud howl pierced through the darkness. I jumped. Jacob looked frightened. I looked pissed. Jake shook his head, as if he wanted to shake off that howl, and looked at me again. "What did you want to say?" I took a deep breath. "Nothing, Jake. Nothing. See you tomorrow, wish you a good night." He smiled, and this time, I watched him disappear into the misty darkness.

As soon as I was convinced he was far away, I stormed into our backyard that bordered the woods.

"Thanks a lot, Sam!", I shouted, "I wanted to talk to Jacob about prom, but you just have to interrupt that, don't you?" I really hoped Wolf-Sam would hear me. If it was Sam, of course. Could have been Paul or Jared, too.

Another howl pierced through the night, and I realized that it had started to rain again. "I HATE YOU!", I screamed, "I FUCKING HATE YOU! YOU ALWAYS DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

"Leah, are you okay?", somebody asked from behind. I shrieked. It was Dad. I snorted. "Yeah, I'm totally fine. Just that my ex-boyfriend turns into a giant wolf, but apart from that, everything's awesome!" Dad looked shocked, and then sad. He put my hands in his. "Since when have you known about that?" "Prom", I hissed, "I saw Paul turning." Dad nodded. "I am so sorry, Leah. You weren't supposed to know about that, of course. But I can't help it now. Do you want to talk about it?"

And then I got angry. Like, really angry. It was the kind of anger that I only felt sometimes, when something really disappointing had happened or if I was sad and confused. You could hide confusion perfectly with fury.

"Do I wanna talk about it? DO I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT? Well, maybe _you _should have talked about it a lot earlier! Sam can turn into a giant wolf! I mean, when did _that _happen? Had he still be mine back then? Did he leave me because of that?" Part of me hoped that he had at least broken up with me to protect me.

"Leah", Dad sighed, "It's a little more complicated. Do you want to hear it?" I nodded, with a stern look on my face.

"The wolf gene has been triggered last spring. Sam turned after Seth's thirteenth birthday. He was scared he might hurt you, but he convinced himself that he would be able to stay with you. He loved you so much, and he was bound to work it out." I had tears in my eyes. I didn't know whether the'd come from my rage. "Then why did he leave me?" Dad sighed again. "Do you remember that I told you your great-great-great-grandfather fell in love with your great-great-great-grandmother Leah in a way that was irreversible?" I nodded, new tears flooding down my cheeks. So I had been right this afternoon. "See, this irreversible love is called imprinting." The tears stopped as I got curious. "Imprinting?" Dad nodded. "Imprinting means that we find our perfect partners. Those Quileutes who can turn into a wolf imprint on the person that is their soulmate." "can you turn?" He shook his head. "S if you could, there would be a great chance of you not being with Mom." Dad had a pained look in his eyes as he nodded. "Unfortunately, yes." "So Sam left me because-" "-he found his perfect partner in Emily."

I was silent. I was done. That was it. That had been too much. I had not been the perfect one for Sam. I had not been the right fit for him.

"Leah, honey, it wasn't his decision. He would have chosen you, he came to the council to ask whether he could do anything against it. He couldn't."

Everything came crashing down on me again; the pain, the sadness, the disappointment, the anger. My thoughts spun around my head, and I felt dizzy. Dad kept me from falling.

"Sweetie, calm down. He didn't mean any harm. You will find another one; I am sure that if the wolf pack keeps growing, somebody will imprint on you." I snorted. "Maybe I don't want that, Dad! Maybe it pisses me off if a decision is made for me. Maybe I want to decide for myself who to love and who not!" Dad looked sad. "Honey, I am so sorry. Sam didn't want to leave you. He had to."

I didn't know what to say. I thought that Sam had not minded going out with Emily two weeks later. Hadn't looked so much like he had to leave me. More like he had _chosen _to do so.

"Leah, come back inside. You can't do anything about it, sweetie." I growled and turned back to the woods. "Cover your ears, Daddy", I said. Dad looked at me with questioning eyes. I didn't care.

"SAMUEL ULEY, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!"

I smiled contently and walked in front of Dad back inside.

I got ready for bed and laid down, not without saying good-night to the picture of Leah Clearwater the Older. She was a mystery that was still unsolved.

"Not for long", I yawned as I turned round to find a good position to sleep. A loud howl came from the forest.

"Jackass!", I said loudly before I fell asleep.

One and a half week later, summer break began. I had been looking forward to leeping long into the day, which I did on the first day.

I got up at around one o'clock, but left my pajamas on. I wouldn't dress up on my first day of summer break.

Not that it looked much like summer. It was raining cats and dogs outside. I smiled at the idea of the wolf pack getting wet.

I realized I didn't know why exactly the pack was here. Dad had said something about a trigger, but he hadn't elaborated that. Maybe I could ask him. Now that I was in on the secret, I was allowed to know everything, in my opinion.

I wondered if Dad was at home. He was organizing the Quileute Days that would be in three weeks. I didn't know if I was looking forward to that. The food was good, the rest kind of boring, most of the time.

I walked down into the kitchen, where Dad was cleaning the table. "Morning, Daddy!", I beamed. He turned to me. "Morning, honey. Would you like a cup of tea?" I nodded. "Dad?" "Yes, sweetie?" At the same moment I wanted to ask Dad about the trigger, the door bell rang. I stood up and opened the door.

It was Jacob. He had a huge grin on his face and two packages of chocolate-covered doughnuts in his hands. "Wanna watch _Scrubs_?", he asked. I beamed. "Sure!" And we went into the living room and turned on the TV.

That was where I spent the erst of my first day of summer break: in front of the TV, eating doughnuts in the arms of my best friend and watching Dr. Cox being angry at J.D. - sorry, Nancy – again.

For some reason, I was convinced that this summer would be a lot better than the last.


	26. Cullen Week

Cullen Week

On Sunday, July 3, the second day of my summer vacation, I called Jasper and asked him whether I could come over. He agreed with a happy voice, and I got into my car and drove to the Cullens' house.

I had only once entered the big white mansion, to drink a cup of tea with Alice. Now I felt a little stupid to ring the bell at the huge door. It was raining, of course.

The door was opened by the doctor, Carlisle Cullen, as far as I could remember it. „Oh, hello there. Can I help you?" Now I felt even more stupid. "Yeah, ehm, hi. My name's Leah Clearwater, is Jasper here? I think he's expecting me." Dr. Cullen smiled. "Yes, right! Please come inside." "Thanls", I said and followed him inside.

"Hey Leah, how nice to see you again!", a soprano voice called to me as soon as I had entered the house. A little elf danced towards me and gave me a creepy, cold hug. "Hello Alice", I smiled, feeling a little uncomfortable, "Nice to see you, too." Why the heck did she like me? I hadn't done anything nice. I was just Leah. Maybe Alice just liked everyone. "How are you?", she asked. "I'm fine. And you?" She smiled. "Everything's great. I went shopping with Rosie yesterday, so right now we have tons of clothes we don't need anymore." She winked at me.

"Alice, don't try talking her into taking something from us, that woman is adamant in that", the southern voice said from upstairs. I looked up and watched Jasper walking downstairs, pulling me into a gentle hug. Then he bowed his head. "Ma'am, it's a pleasure to see you again." I nodded once. "Major."

Wow. Where had that come from? Why had I said that to him? Major... he wasn't a major. He hated the US Army. Sure, I was convinced that Jasper was a lot older than I had thought – and how that could be possible, I didn't know yet – but he couldn't be a major!

But the way Jasper and Alice both stared at me could mean only one thing: I had said something I shouldn't have known.

Jasper coughed. "Well... would you accompany me to my room? I have made some tea, and have bought a cake as well, in case you are hungry." I nodded. Alice beamed at me. "Talk to you later, Leah! And then we can discuss the clothes!" She winked at me again and then walked away. I could hear her faint voice: "Oh, come on, Rosalie, that's really unnecessary."

Jasper let me go first and followed me upstairs. "Second door to your right." I turned to him. "Do you share with Alice?" He smiled. "I do. But I have a room of my own. We mostly share her room, anyway." He opened the door, and I entered the room.

It wasn't very big. At the far end were two windows, and in front of them was an old desk with a laptop and some books on it. On the free wall between the windows hung a huge picture, a map of Texas. It was an old, brown map with little pictures for the cities and towns. Two flags were on top of the map, one being the flag of Texas, the other one the one of the United States. On the right wall stood a big old closet, while the bed on the other wall looked old, but was new. Next to the closet were three book shelves with a navy blue armchair on a deep red carpet in front of them. The shelves were filled with old books. Nearby the desk stood a stereo that was switched off.

It was raining, so no light fell through the two windows. Jasper switched on a lamp. "So... that is my room." "I like it!", I declared. "Good", he smiled, "Let me just get you a chair." He hurried to his desk and returned with an old, but comfortable chair. "Here you go, darlin'." "Thanks", I said and sat down. Jasper looked around and sighed. "I'll have to get another chair and a table." I grinned. "Sure, just go and get it." Jasper walked out of the room.

Five minutes later, he returned with a small table and another chair. He sat down and looked at me. "Leah... you have to tell me something. Why have you called me 'Major'?" I blinked a few times. "Well, I- I don't know. It just came to my mind. It seemed fitting. After you'd said 'Ma'am'." Jasper sighed. "Okay. Thank you. I was asking, you know, because... I don't know how to put it... See, when I was... I mean, when..." "Jeez, Jasper, get to the point! It can't be too difficult to say it." Jasper sighed heavily. "But it is. I am afraid you might run away screaming." I groaned. "Please! We're past this." He stared at me with a stern look. "Are we? Because you haven't found out my secret yet, and to be honest I am very sure that you will run away and never talk to me again once you've found out." I smiled. "You've become quite attached to me, haven't you?" Jasper smiled, too. He looked a little embarrassed. "I have, that is true. You must forgive me, it is just that I am so glad a normal person wants to talk to me. I think most people are afraid of me." I raised an eyebrow. "Oh please! Afraid of you? I mean, yes, you're scary at first, plus I've had a couple of very disturbing nightmares about you, but once one has gotten to know you..." Jasper interrupted me with a polite smile. "Darlin', that is the problem. No one gets to know me because they're too afraid. Besides, it is better for them – for you – to stay away from me." I nodded. "Yeah, you're right. You're too dangerous." I coughed. "Don't go all Edward on me, I hate to be patronized." he had told me once that Edward had told Isabella Swan that he was too dangerous for her. Puke alarm! Jasper smiled sheepishly. "But it is the truth!" I sighed heavily and got up. "Okay. You're too dangerous. Watch me walk away." And I made a step into the door's direction.

Jasper was up in a second and grabbed my hand. "Okay, okay, I've understood. I can't let you just walk away. I promise to leave my Edwardian attitude somewhere-", he looked around and found a garbage can, "-here. See? I've thrown it away. Please sit down." I grinned and walked back to my chair. "Oh, and Jasper? I can be dangerous, too, so don't you get on my bad side. You were trying to say something before we started discussing your level of danger."

Jasper gave me a weird look before he said:"I have just been confused by you calling me 'Major', because I, in fact, have been a major." I started laughing.

That was probably just the worst reaction ever, but I just couldn't help it. When exactly should he have been a major? For which freaking army? Hadn't he said that he hated the US?

And then it hit me. It hit me so hard that I stopped laughing. Jasper looked at me with a strange expression, probably questioning my sanity.

I stood up and walked around the room. "You", I started, "You have been a major for the Confederate Army." Jasper shook his head in amazement. "Leah, you are way too clever for me. And you surprise me everytime we meet." I tilted my head to the right. "What have I done this time?" "Are you not shocked? Surprised? Completely weirded out? You do know the time of the so called War of the Rebellion-" "War Between The States", I corrected him immediately. Jasper opened his mouth and then closed it again. "I am going to get the tea", he said quietly and left the room. That gave me time to think.

Something weird was going on. Apparently I had said something that had upset him. But what? It was also strange that I seemed to know some things about a time I knew nothing about. But how could I know and know not about the Civil War? Did I have multiple personalities?

Jasper returned with a tea pot, two cups, and sugar. "Here you go. I am sorry for leaving so promptly. I was just surprised by your last statement. You see, while the Union saw the Civil War as a war of rebellion and against slavery, the Confederates – my people – called it the War Between The States, a war that was fought over state rights." He winked at me. "So, I didn't know you were a Confederate." I sighed. "Me neither. The only thing I know about the Civil War is that it was in the 1860ies, and to come back to your question whether I'm not shocked or surprised, yes, it is a little weird, but I have recently found out our tribal myths were true, so you probably would have to be Darth Vader, make me realize that in reality I'm a boy called Luke and tell me you're my father to surprise me right now." Jasper raised an eyebrow. "You have found out your tribal myths are true? How can one find out about that?" I shrugged. "You have to watch. Pay attention. Be curious. That's how I found out." "Because of your curiosity? Sometimes that's a very dangerous trait – have you been in danger?" I shrugged again. "I don't know. Do big wolves sound like danger?" Jasper nodded. "Hmpf", I made, "Well, then yes. But that's not important right now. What is more important is that apparently you have been alive ever since the Civil War and probably not changed a bit in age. So you're a mutant. Big deal. What kind of cake have you bought?"

Jasper looked a little sad. "I'm not Wolverine." I sighed heavily. "First of all, of course you're not. You don't have sideburns and your hands surely don't look like they're hiding claws." I thought for a moment. "Although your body is hard enough to be filled with adamantium. And second, I am impressed that you know Wolverine. You're born, like, what? 1842?" Jasper hissed. "Exactly." That silenced me for a minute. How could I know stuff like that? I shook myself on order to get rid of all my stupid thoughts that I shouldn't even have. "Anyway, you've said you had cake." Jasper stared at me for a second, then he nodded. "Oh, yes, yes, I do. Wait a second."

He disappeared again, and seconds later he returned with a small raspberry-decorated cake. "Have you flown?", I asked. He had been so fast. "No", he smiled, "But I run very well. I hope you like this cake." "Are there peanuts in it?" Jasper shook his head. "No, but why?" "I am allergic to peanuts." "To peanuts?" I nodded. "For a long time, they just made me sick, but since two years it has become worse. We forget sometimes, because my brother loves peanuts, and so Mom sometimes makes me peanutbutter sandwiches, which I cannot eat then, of course." Jasper nodded. "Well, there aren't any peanuts in this cake. But it's good that you told me, in case I want to invite you to dinner." He handed me a plate with a slice of the cake.

"You won't eat any cake, right?", I asked after a while. Jasper nodded. "Do you ever eat?" He shook his head. "Wow. On what do you live then? Fresh air?" He grinned. "I am sorry, but I can't tell you. That's a part you have to find out yourself. But you seem to have a gift for finding out." I rolled my eyes, and suddenly a weird bit of trivia came to my mind. "Did you know that 'gift' is the German word for poison?" Jasper grinned and raised an eyebrow. "Funny that you talk about poison..." "Why?" "He shrugged. "Oh, no reason really."

We dropped the topic, and for the rest of the day we talked about holiday plans, school, and YouTube.

It was already late when I decided I should go home. Jasper protected me from Alice's clothes, and I drove home totally tired. This man was exhausting me. It was like he was forcing my subconsciousness to reveal information about something I shouldn't know about.

I looked at my ancestor's photo above my bed and stuck my tongue out at her. She didn't help much, It was like she knew something, but wouldn't tell me. Awesome. I was surrounded by weird people.

As if to underline that, I could hear a faint howl coming from the woods.

"Boring!", I said loudly and fell asleep.

The next day I found myself sitting in the Cullens' living room, waiting for Jasper to return from a car tour with Emmett. "Emmett has bought a new car", Mrs Cullen said as she handed me a cup of tea, "And they have this tradition of taking it out for a ride. Usually Edward would be with them, too, but he's with Bella today. Do you need anything else? A sandwich?" I shook my head and smiled. "No, thank you." Esme nodded and walked back into the kitchen.

I was about to take a gulp of my tea when suddenly Jasper's little elfish fiancée stood in front of me. She smiled. I almost dropped my cup.

"It's just me!", she said in her soprano voice. "You were gone yesterday, but now my fiancé is not here yet, so I can kidnap you. Rosalie has your size, so her clothes should fit you perfectly. I would be glad to give them to somone who can actually wear them." I was about to protest, but Alice didn't let me. "The clothes will be a present. From one friend to another. Don't protest! You'll wear them." I stood up and followed her to her room. "And I thought he was the Major", I muttered, and Alice giggled.

Her room looked more like a boutique. I didn't know if this was always the case, but today, there were clothes everywhere. She led me to a pile of neatly folded clothes that lay on a couch. "Let's go through this", she said, and a huge smile appeared on her face. "Some things are not exactly your style-", she held up a black etui dress and laughed at my horrified expression, "But others should look great on you, for example this." Now she held up a simple, yellow cotton t-shirt. I nodded, slightly embarrassed. I didn't feel too good taking their clothes. After all, they had paid for them! Alice noticed that I wasn't really excited and said:"You can give me 20 bucks, and we're even." That sounded like a good idea. It made me feel better – only a little, but still.

Alice held up three other simple t-shirts, one in black, one in navy blue and one in creamy white. Then she examined a pencil skirt, looked at me and put it back onto the pile. "Not your style", she muttered, and then picked up a green knee-length cotton dress. "That's pretty, take that one." The pile on my arms was growing. Now she handed me two pairs of jeans and two pairs of Converse sneakers. My bad conscience came back. I hit it multiple times, because I really wanted those shoes. One pair was blue, the other one white.

When finally the door was opened with a loud bang, and Jasper came rushing in and started talking to Alice about "abusing his friend as a model puppet", with only half earnesty, a blue jacket, two cardigans – one grey, one army green – a turquoise-and-silver longtop, a golden camisole and a pair of jeans shorts had been added to my pile.

Alice winked at me and planted a small cold kiss on my cheek before she left her room. Jasper sighed. "I am sorry, Leah. That's Alice. She loves dressing up people. She tried to do it with Bella, but that girl is just too ignorant concerning clothes, that's why she's been looking for a new victim. Let us go to my room." I nodded and followed him to his room, barely being able to see because of all the clothes in my hands. I was glad when I could sit down in Jasper's comfortable armchair and found myself talking to the Most Mysterious Man. Wow. Jasper's new superhero name. The Most Mysterious Man saves the world! Again!

I looked around his room and found myself gazing at the map of Texas again. "Jasper", I asked, "If you're a Confederate, then why is there a Union flag on this map?" He smiled. "You noticed? Well, the map is from 1880, that's a little younger than I am. It was the oldest, still intact map I could find." "Can I take a look at it?" He nodded. "Sure." I walked up to the map. It was very big, and the little pictures were very beautiful. I wondered why anyone would put such an effort into making a map. "It's really beautiful", I said. Jasper smiled and pointed at a little drawing that said 'San Antonio'. "I'm from here", he said, "But it was a little smaller back then, of course." "Did you ever go there to visit?" He shook his head. "No. Too many memories. I had to leave back then. People couldn't find out about me. They died thinking I was dead or had deserted." He looked really sad now.

I laid an arm around his shoulder. "Don't be sad. I'm sure they always remembered the good and kind person you were." He smiled sadly. "You don't know what kind of a person I have been." "No, I don't. But if you have stayed the same, then I know you have been a really great person." He beamed. "Thank you, Leah. Are you hungry? I could cook something for you."

I looked up with a surprised look. "You have learned how to cook?" He grinned sheepishly. "I reckoned that I could make you dinner, you'd come more often."

That made me smile. "You're a very sweet young man. Alice can be so happy." He smiled. "She is. I am, too. She is my everything."

He beamed, and he looked so much in love that it hurt me.

Jasper suddenly stopped beaming. "Leah, are you okay?" I nodded, and then I shook my head. I returned to the armchair and sat down. "It's just... you love her so much... sometimes it hurts to see people who are so much in love." "Tell me", he said and sat down in front of me. He looked as if he really wanted to know what I was thinking.

"It's because Sam is so much in love with Emily. I have only recently found out that she's his soulmate. And that makes me sad because it means that apparently I haven't been the perfect match for Sam." "Maybe you're someone else's soulmate", Jasper proposed, "I was with another woman before Alice, and I had always thought that we belonged to each other. It took me years to understand that she had never been mine. And years later, I have found Alice." "Who is your perfect fit", I concluded.

"No." "What?" That surprised me. "She is the perfect fit for who I am now. But when I was still-", he paused and then continued after a few seconds, "- younger, a Major of the Confederate Army, there was someone else. In my hometown. A young, beautiful girl. Of course, they're always beautiful when you're in love with them. I had proposed to her when I was on leave, but unfortunately, I got into this... condition I am in now, and so I couldn't marry her." "And she was your perfect fit?" Jasper nodded, but suddenly his eyes looked past me and his look became blank. I realized he remembered something. "That is...", he continued, "... I don't know. There was something... Something I cannot explain. I don't know if she was my perfect fit. Sometimes I don't even think there's something like a perfect fit."

I stared at Jasper, shocked and relieved at the same time. I had thought he'd tell me how beautiful it was to have someone who'd stay with you forever. And here he was, telling me about the problems of finding one's perfect partner.

"There's something like that in our tribe", I blurted out before I could stop it. "That you find your perfect partner?" I nodded. "Not all of us. Just those who make our legends come true. It's called imprinting; it's when you find your other half. Unfortunately you can't choose who to imprint on – so imprinting breaks hearts." "Sam", Jasper concluded. I nodded. "Imprinting... how does that work?" I shrugged. "I don't know. It's like, you see someone, and then something happens to you. I don't know what it feels like." We were silent for a while.

"You were saying something... something about someone else being there beside the woman you have proposed to. At least it sounded like that."

Jasper sighed. "It's hard to keep a secret around you. Yes, there was a woman. She saved my life. I have already told you about her. I have told you that she was my father's best friend. She wasn't. She was my best friend. She was in love with me, and I can't say that I didn't love her. I really did, and I sometimes wonder whether she had been the one I was supposed to have. But it doesn't matter now. Because my existence today makes Alice my soulmate, and nothing could change that. Not my ex-fiancée, not this woman I've just told you about." I smiled. "It's nice that you still remember her." Jasper looked past me, again looking into a distance that wasn't there. "You know what bothers me most? I never got to tell her that I really loved her, and I never got to know what happened to her." I caressed his shoulder. "I am sure she was fine. She probably died peacefully surrounded by a husband and her kids." He nodded and took a deep breath. Then he shook hus head. "Difficult topic. Let us talk about something else."

We spent the rest of the day watching TV and talking about unimportant things. I knew that he tried to take his mind off the women he had lost.

I felt sorry for him.

I came back for the next two days, drinking tea and having lunch with Jasper. That meant, I had lunch, he just sat next to me and watched me eating. We talked about all kinds of trivial things: Facebook (which he didn't have), movies (he never went to the movie theatre), opera (which he liked; I didn't), music (amazingly, we liked the same bands) and school (of course he was an overachiever, who would have thought). He didn't reveal much about his more personal life, though, maybe he thought that he'd said enough about himself.

On Wednesday, the second of the two days, I asked him whether everything was alright. Jasper nodded. Then he shook his head – just like I did when I wasn't sure about my answer. "It's just that you got me thinking, Leah. About my old life. The life I wanted. But I've thought enough now. Is thete anything you want to know?" I thought about that question for a minute. "Tell me about the Confederacy."

He stared at me. Then a wide smile appeared on his face. "About the Confederacy? Well, we were right, of course. Ah know, Ah know", and he fell back into his accent, "All people say the war was about slavery. Slave rights." "You cannot deny that." He raised his arms in defense. "No, I cannot. It was about slave rights. But most important, the war was about our rights. Our right to self-government. Our right to life, our right to liberty, our right to pursue happiness. And what we did in this war was to fight for our right to dissolve our bands to a government that stopped us from pursuing these rights. We just wanted to secede. We did that. The Union tried to stop us. We fought." "But wasn't the Union right in preventing you from forming your own state? I mean, you would have kept the institution of slavery, and in my opinion, there's no human fate that's worse than slavery." Jasper smiled a little smile. "That woman I've told you about, she hated slavery. She told me exactly the same phrase. See, Leah, I understand that, and looking at it now, I too oppose slavery. But back then, you have to acknowledge two things: first of all, it was normal. And second, most Southeners didn't even have slaves. I didn't, for example. The woman I wanted to marry had four. Her father owned a plantation. But they were the richest family in my town. And having four slaves already counted as very rich." "But how can it be normal to torture and enslave people?" "We didn't see it like that, leah. First, they weren't complete people to us. They were property. And nobody cared much when your property got hurt. Second, we thought we treated them fairly well. Most of u were farmers, and with that, I only mean hand-to-mouth farmers. They lived from the same food the slaves lived, and most often weren't able to sell any of their goods. We had lots of people you would call poor today. Cruel slave owners were strongly disliked in our society, but there were only few, and you couldn't do anything about it because, as I've said, slaves were regarded as property. I now think that it was wrong to build a society upon slavery. People are people and shouldn't be abused. But back then, nobody cared."

I took a deep breath. It was really interesting to hear a Southerner's point of view, and Jasper seemed to have modernized his opinion. But I also had to think of the thousands of Africans who had been brought here by evil businessmen and who had to work in inhuman conditions far away from their homeland, forced by a group of white people who had thought to be better than black people. We Native Americans had been forced, too – to leave our fixed and sacred places and go somewhere we didn't belong. The Quileutes had been one of the luckier nations: we had been allowed to stay at our harbor. After all, we could have landed in Canada or California. I was glad slavery didn't exist in America anymore. At least in front of the law we were all equal: pale faces, Hispanics, African-Americans, Native Americans, Asians...

"Tell me more", I said to Jasper, but then my cell phone rang. It was Mom, asking me to get the groceries. I was glad she didn't ask where I was. "Sure, Mom, will do", I said and hung up. Jasper looked at me, "You have to go", he stated. I nodded. "I am sorry. Can I come back tomorrow?" Jasper looked at the floor. "I would love to, but unfortunately we're out hiking. It's going to be sunny." "Oh." I tried not to look to disappointed and stood up. "See you then." He led me to the door and gave me a hug that felt ice-cold. "Come back soon, will you?" I nodded. That made him smile. He bowed. "Looking forward to it, Ma'am." I gave him a short nod and smiled. "Good-bye, Major."

The next day, a Thursday, was a really sunny day. I drove to the Lonesome Creek Store where Logan was cleaning shelves. "You're gonna work next week", he said, and I sighed. "You can do better with the young ones." I raised an eyebrow. "The young ones? What young ones?" Logan smiled, but he looked annoyed. "The surfers who've been here last year."

I stared at him. The surfers of last year? The ones who had demolished Sam's property?

A huge grin appeared on my face.

This would get interesting.


	27. Surfers Week

**This chapter is dedicated to a very good friend of mine, Stella. I wish her a happy 18th birthday!**

Surfers Week

On Monday, July 11, I stood behind the counter of the _Lonesome Creek Store_ and waited for the surfers to finally arrive. Logan was dealing with old people outside the store who wanted to go hiking and who sure as hell thought that wild nature looked like the domesticated green in their golf club. I was pretty sure at least one of them would go missing. Awesome.

I was putting new change into the cashier when I heard the door bell announce someone incoming. I looked up and looked directly into the bright green eyes of a pale-face. A young one. About my age. Behind him lined up a queue of about nine other young adults.

The guy in front of me pulled out his idea. "Hi there, Miss-", he was looking for a name tag. "Clearwater", I smiled. It was only half-fake. This could only be the ominous surfers who had gotten me into big trouble last year. "Great, hi. I'm Shaun Crowley, we're here for the beach and the waves. These are my surfing friends." He pointed at the line behind him. I barely looked at them and pulled out a book. "You have all been here before?", I asked innocently. The guy, Shaun, nodded. "Yes, last year." "Ah", I nodded. Then I looked up at the line of people and asked:"And who of you unfortunate pale-faces destroyed property last year?" They all looked at each other, a little ashamed. An Asian-looking guy raised his hand. "That would have been me, Harry Kwan. Sorry about that." I rolled my eyes. "You really should be, because before you jerk decided to tell, I had been held responsible for the damage. How stupid is that?" Shaun grinned. "Then we're extremely sorry and invite you to come to our camp anytime you want." I raised an eyebrow, but just nodded and handed him a piece of paper. "Would you sign here, please? Thank you and have fun on my land. Your friends have to sign to. New rule so I can remember your faces and names in case you do something stupid _again_." Shaun Crowley chuckled and made room for another Asian-looking face. It was a girl, and she didn't look like this Harry-guy. Well, Asia wasn't the same everywhere. "Hi, I'm Stella, I'll just sign here beneath that jerk", she winked at me, "You don't have to put up with Shaun, when we met last year, a surfboard fell on his head, and ever since then, he's been acting weird." She handed the pen to a blond girl who introduced herself as Anna Belova and who looked at Shaun as if she wanted to grab and kiss him right now.

After Anna, a pale girl with short black hair signed the paper with "Christina Godwood". She just smiled at me and followed Anna to the left of the counter.

The next person was a guy with pitch-black hair and almost black eyes – they were so brown that it was hard to determine the actual color. He introduced himself as Ben Schreiber, and he looked like a sensible guy to me.

After him came another guy who didn't look sensible at all. He had straw-blond hair and grey eyes. His name was Liev Rosenthal, and he smiled a huge winning smile. He bent forward and said quietly:"Well, I have to admit, I helped Harry to damage all this stuff, so I am sorry, too." I chuckled and bent over to whisper in his ear:"No problem, that stuff belonged to my ex-boyfriend. I'm rather glad you damaged it, you did what I couldn't do." He looked surprised, and then he smiled broardly. "Really? Well, we could try it again if you want to. Just let me know if-"

A girl – more a young woman – snapped the pen out of Liev's hand and said sharply: "That's enough, Liev, you and Harry have already made too much trouble." Liev ducked as if he was afraid and moved aside. The young woman smiled at me. She had long red curls and green eyes. We shook hands. "Hi, I'm Nathalie Cole. I am sorry for those jerks." Liev shook his head. "That's not Nathalie Cole, that's Bossy Natty. You should run before she catches you." Nathalie signed the piece of paper and hit Liev's butt. "Just move, jackass."

The last boy to sign was a tall, tanned guy with short brown hair and ice-blue eyes. I had never seen such intense eyes before. They were beautiful... and creepy. "Lucas McQueene", he introduced himself, "We're not gonna do anything stupid this year, promise." He signed the paper and handed the pen to the last girl. She had light brown hair and blue eyes and looked a little shy. She just smiled at me and signed the paper with "Anka Mueller". "That's all?", I asked. They nodded. I handed them a paper that informed them what they were allowed to do and what not. "Aw, no fire?", Harry complained. "Only in restricted areas, you moron", Anna moaned. I had to grin. "How long will you be staying?", I asked. "At least four weeks", Lucas answered. I nodded. "Well, then have fun. And don't miss the Quileute Days, they're awesome." They nodded. "See you around", Stella said, and with that, all of them left the store.

I turned again to putting change into the cashier. I had not completely decided yet, but I found them nicer than annoying. This would probably be a lot of fun. And some of the guys were really handsome...

I saw Abby, Seth's girlfriend, storming through the store entrance and directly towards me. "I hate them!", she cursed. I raised my eyebrows. "Who?" "Quil and Embry! They keep on asking whether Seth and I have already done it, and I can't get them to shut up! They are so getting on my nerves! I mean, how on earth can anyone be so annoying? I don't think we have anyone who's more annoying than our very own tribal Ernie and Bert!"

In that very same moment Jacob opened the door with a strength that let me assume he was pissed. He looked very angry, too. "can you believe it?", he hissed, "Rachel's not coming home for summer break. She takes courses and she has to work, apparently. You know what's really going on? She leaves me alone with a disabled old man in a wheelchair! I am fifteen, for crying out loud, and I have to take care of my dad, work for school and try to figure out what I want to do after that, because I can't leave Dad alone, like Rachel and my other stupid sister have done!"

And as if two pissed people weren't enough, Kim entered the store, looking very angry, too. She walked right towards me. "Leah, you know who's a real bitch? Kayla! She not only tries to flirt with MY Jared, she's also trying to get Paul to go out with her! Paul! Do you have any idea how stupid and instable Paul is?" Oh yeah, I had. Maybe Kayla should learn her lesson. But then, meeting a giant wolf probably wasn't a good lesson. "I don't want that horrible woman to hang out with me! What if we have to share a hut with her in Canada?", Kim's eyes widened, "Oh my God, what do we do then? I don't want to have her anywhere near me! Leah, you ave to share with me. You too, Abby. We could ask Jessica, too, then we're complete."

I sighed very loudly. "okay, people, stop! I'm not your shrink!" All three of them stared. "Well, you're not, but you're friends with Quil and Embry!" "You're my best friend!" "You hate Kayla, too!"

"Too many problems on one day! I can't focus!"

Logan entered the store again. "Okay, Leah, you can go home. Tomorrow I need you here from two to six, okay?" I nodded. "See you tomorrow then." I left the store with my three followers and walked down the way to my home.

"Leah!", all three of them said. I sighed heavily. "Why are you coming to me?" They shrugged. "You seem to know what to do." Oh really? How would I know that? I wasn't God!

"Alright. Abby, just ask them whether they have already done it, that will silence them. Kim, Paul probably knows he shouldn't go out with her, if not, Sam will tell him, so one problem is solved. About Jared, just tell her to back off – she's gonna be confused someone actually stops her, and he's gonna be turned on by you standing up for him. About Canada, well, why not, sound slike a good idea. Now bye-bye." Both girls beamed at me, nodded, and walked away.

I laid an arm around Jacob's shoulder. "Jake, you don't have to take care of Billy. You know that's not your job. You are a child, for crying out loud." Jake shook his head. "I have to, leah. No one else can. I mean, I wanted to go to college, you know. I don't know what I want to do later, but at least go to college! And now I can forget about that. Somebody needs to stay with Dad. I can't imagine my sisters coming back. Rebecca's staying in stupid Hawaii, and Rachel has nothing that keeps her here. Just her baby brother, but why would that count?" He looked really sad now. I felt sorry for him. He lived alone with a disabled man who would never be able to live all alone, with two adult sisters who couldn't stand being in La Push because they missed their mother so much. The death of Sarah Black must have been unbearable for Rachel and Rebecca, I could understand why they didn't want to stay in La Push. But I could not understand how they could leave their little brother alone and therefore barring him from planning his future. Great sisters.

"Jacob, there are so many people who would take care of our chief. Don't give up on your future." Jake looked at me, a little sad smile on his face. "What will you do after senior year?" "I'm trying for college, I want to study English and Creative Writing, maybe become a teacher." Jacob smiled. "So you're gonna be gone, too, and I'll have to go two more years to school without my girl." I grinned. "We'll see about that. Maybe I'll find a cheap community college close to La Push." Jacob shook his head. "Only if you can't go anywhere else. I mean, if you could go to Harvard, for example, why wouldn't you?" I pointed at his nose. "Because I'd die being homesick." Jake grinned. "Remember when we went to see the James Bond movie, almost a year ago?" I nodded. "You told me there that you wanted to leave Quileute land as fast as possible. Do you still want that?" "I- I don't know." I thought about Jake. I din't want to leave him alone. But I didn't want to see Sam for the rest of my life. On the other hand, I didn't want to leave my brother alone, too. I didn't know whether I wanted to leave La Push.

"Come eat with us", I invited Jacob. He nodded, and so we walked to my home.

After dinner – Mom had cooked soup and had baked bread – Jake and I went upstairs to my room and watched YouTube videos. They were hilarious, and it was getting later and later. At about midnight Jacob yawned:"Okay, I should go back now. Dad is gonna be worried." "I'll drive you. It's too dark." "It's La Push!" "I'll drive you." "Okay!"

I drove him to his home, and we wished each other a good night. "Will you go to the beach with me tomorrow morning?", I asked, "Watch the surfers, stuff like that?" "Okay! I'll come and get you, bring some pancakes, and we can go." He kissed my cheek and left the car. I watched him enter the house. Maybe Jacob really was too young yet to be in love with him. Maybe I just had to wait a couple of years. Meet someone else... the surfers, for example?

The next morning, I got ready and waited for Jacob. He arrived at nine o'clock – pretty early for summer break, I was proud – and he carried a basket full of pancakes. We hugged each other, and I sniffed at the basket. The pancakes made me hungry. Jacob grinned. "Dad has made a huge pile of pancakes so we could share them with the surfers. Dad's a weird chief sometimes." Jacob was definitely right with that. "okay, so let's go. Have you met them? The surfers, I mean?", jacob asked. I nodded. "Yesterday at the store." "And? Do they have some pretty girls?" I raised an eyebrow. Jacob raised his arms in defense. "Quil asked!" I raised my eyebrows even higher. "Quil's going out with Carlie." Jacob shrugged. "She's been pissed since prom." "Well, I would be pissed , too. I mean, he was totally drunk and laughed because of a dead bee! I mean, what's so funny about a dead bee?" Jake bit his lip. "It's dead?", he asked. I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah, that's really funny." Jacob grinned, and we walked silently to the beach. We could already see their tents. It were eleven colorful tents, and two people stood in front of them and stretched themselves. Some of them were already surfing, we could see them in the water. "Surfing is pretty cool", Jacob said, 2I wish I could do that." "With some training, maybe. You could ask them! And the girls are pretty." Jake's eyes lit up, and I shook my head in annoyance. Boys were just too stupid sometimes. It seemed to be almost obligatory for them to find new girls interesting. That was the reason why Mike Newton and his stupid friends liked Isabella. Because she was new.

Well, that was definitely not a reason I wanted to be liked for.

We walked down towards the two people. I recognized them as Ben and Stella. "Good morning", I said. Both smiled at us. "I don't think I've introduced myself yesterday. My name's Leah, and that's my best friend Jacob." Ben and Jake shook hands. "Hello, Jacob", Ben said, and Stella smiled. "Hi, I'm Stella. Nice to meet you." Jacob smiled at her and held out the basket. "I have pancakes. It's a welcoming treat from our chief. My father." Ben and Stella both looked at each other and then both grinned. "Nice!" They took a pancake and ate it with delight. "Where are the others?", I asked. Ben thought for a moment. "Shaun is out there surfing, meaning Anna is with him, like always. I think Liev's still asleep. Chrissi – Christina – and Harry, Lucas and Anka are jogging. And Nathalie has probably gone shopping." "Bossy Natty?", I asked. Stella grinned. "Yeah, that's her nickname. She's gonna make us cook and clean our tents and stay in shape... She wants to go to the Army." "Really?" Both nodded. Jacob handed them another pancake.

Somebody yawned behind us, and Liev stepped into the sunlight. His hair looked very untidy, and he was only wearing boxers. He was lucky that the sun was out today. We never got much real sunlight up here. "Morning, Stell, morning, Ben!" He winked at me. "Morning, beautiful store lady whose name I unfortunately have forgotten, and a good morning to you, guy with a basket." I had to grin. "My name's Leah, that's Jacob." Liev bowed. "Welcome to our little camp." Stella hit Liev's head. "Stop acting stupid. We're on _their _land. Anyway, there are Shaun and Anna." She looked at Jake. "Hey, Jacob, maybe you could offer them some of your pancakes. They're probably hungry." Jacob, who seemed to be glad that a group of older people accepted him, nodded and walked to both of them, who beamed when he offered them the pancakes. Liev tapped my shoulder. "He's your brother, or what?" I rolled my eyes. "My best friend. There comes the rest of your group." I looked into the direction from which two guys and two girls came running towards us, looking sweaty, but pleased. Chrissi, the black-haired pale girl, wiped the sweat off her forehead and grinned at me. Anka was yawning and looked for something to drink, and Harry was looking for something to eat. Lucas smiled at me before he disappeared in a green tent. Liev yawned again. "That means only Bossy Natty is missing, which is not too bad, actually." "You don't like her", I concluded. He shook his head. "That's not true. She's just difficult. But it's good to have her around. We wouldn't work without her." "How's that?", I asked. "Well, she's fairly neutral. She's our leader, sort of." "But Shaun seemed more like your leader." Liev chuckled. "Honestly? That's funny. Well, I guess it's because he's pretty outspoken and always wants to be the first. But he's like the rest of us, sometimes he really gets into trouble with one of us. You know, we're not always so peaceful, especially if we stay together for a long time. But Nathalie is the one who's always right and who never gets into trouble with one of us. We only get into trouble with her. Well, she's two years older than we are-" "Which means?", I asked and suddenly realized that I was playing with my hair. I stopped it immediately. I was acting weird. Where was Jacob? Talking to Lucas, who had left his tent again, and Shaun. Gah! I needed him! He had to get me away from Liev before I did something stupid!

"She's twenty-one, turning twenty-two this year. I'm nineteen, like most of us. Stella has just turned eightteen, and Anna and Harry are twenty. Oh, there's Natty. And she brought food!" I turned to see the redhead – who was wearing a camouflage top and black pants – coming towards us with two bags. She pointed at Ben and Shaun. "You and you, come with me to get the other bags. Everyone else packs the food into the storage tent, I want it to be gone when I'm back." Everyone jumped, even me. That woman had some authority in her! I really could imagine her going to the US Army. I wondered what Jasper would think about that.

We put all the food quickly into the storage tent and then sat down on some blaeched tree trunks to talk. Jacob was engaged into a conversation with Harry and Chrissi, and Liev, after saying something to Stella, joined me with her on my tree. "So you're a real Quileute Indian?", Liev asked. Stella hit him. "One says Native American, you idiot." Liev shrugged. I chuckled. "I don't really care, you know? But yes, I'm Quileute, and I live here for real." Liev looked around. "I envy you. It's so beautiful." I shrugged. "It mostly rains, and that's not so beautiful. But otherwise it's nice to live here. Where do you come from?" "Kingston, upstate New York", Stella answered. I looked at Liev. "Some small town in Wisconsin, you wouldn't know it." "And how come you know each other? I mean, from where are the others?" "Lucas is from L.A., and Harry is from San Francisco. Chrissi lives in Seattle, so that's not too far away. Ben lives next to me, which is pretty annoying. He's my cousin, you know? Anna lives in New York and Anka is from... from where exactly, Stell?" "Some town in Pennsylvania. And Natty lives in Boston now, but she comes from New Orleans." "Shaun is a Texan. He lives in a small twon near the Mexican-Texan border, called Carrizo Springs." I was impressed. "So from where do you know each other?" Stella grinned. "Surfer camp in California, when we were in sixth grade. Ever since then, we have tried to meet at least once a year." "Yeah, and last year, Chrissi told us about the awesome beach of La Push, and so we decided to come here. And we liked it so much that we decided to come back this year. La Push is a great place to surf." "As long as you're not drunk", Stella said, rolling her eyes, and Liev smiled sheepishly. "That is right. Although it wasn't my idea to demolish that stuff." Stella rolled her eyes again. "Who gets such an idea, anyway?" She looked at me. I shrugged. "I wish I knew." We both turned to Liev, who grinned happily at us. "Well, I can't really remember... I just know that Harry had drunk a lot of alcohol, and I had too, and then we remembered that Indian's creepy glare at us – what's his name again?" "Sam", I said, rolling my eyes. Liev nodded. "Right, Sam. So, we didn't really decide to do anything, but suddenly it seemed like a very funny idea to go and throw some stones. Only the next morning we discovered that we had hit something." "But you felt too sick to go there immediately", Stella said. Liev nodded, still smiling sheepishly. I had to grin. "And do you know what happened here?", I asked. Liev half-nodded. "You got blamed." I grinned. "Exactly. I had no idea that when I came to school that morning, everyone hated me because they thought I had gone and destroyed that stuff. Almost three months after he had broken up with me. Stupid assumption. But anyway, what were you doing here? Your school must have started the same week!" Stella and Liev smiled at each other. "We ditched the first days of school." "You what?" And I had thought bad of me when I had just ditched that second day of school! "We ditched the first few days. It had been so much fun last year, and so some of us had decided to stay a little longer." "Except for Chrissi, who is a straight-A-student and wouldn't miss a day of school if it was her last day to live", Stella added. "Anna wanted to go home, too", Liev said, "But then Shaun said he wanted to stay, and then she couldn't say no." "They're our on-off couple", Stella informed me, "and it gets annoying. Shaun's a player. Anna knows that. She stays in love with him, and whenever there's noone else to make out with, Shaun picks Anna." Liev nodded. I sighed. "And here I thought you were a group of great, sensible people." Stella grinned. "We are! But we're like all other young adults, which means we act stupid a lot." "Except for Natty. She's always sensible", Liev said. Stella nodded.

"Stella", the girl with the light brown hair, Anka, called. Stella looked up and nodded. "We're going surfing now. See you later, Leah!" And she stood up and ran away, leaving Liev and me alone. That made me feel uncomfortable. What if I did something stupid again? Where was Jacob? He needed to rescue me before I started playing with my hair again. Liev looked a little uncomfortable, too.

"So, were they very mad at you?", he finally asked. I looked confused. "You know, after Harry and I had destroyed Sam's property..." "Oh! Well, Dad smacked my cheek three times. He apologized later. Gave me a necklace with a howling wolf." Where was this necklace, by the way? I hadn't seen it since Jake and I had redecorated my room. Since I had found the picture of Leah Clearwater the Older.

"Sorry", Liev said, "I promise you to behave this year." He winked at me. "Now, what can one do around here except for surfing?" I thought for a moment. "You can go hiking, obviously, but if you don't want to follow the few paths, you should take a map and a compass with you. It's easy to get lost in the woods. Then there's a bowling alley in Forks, and you can drive to Port Angeles, ther's a movie theatre and some restaurants. And in case you haven't seen the posters, at the end of this month are the Quileute Days, and they're actually pretty awesome if you like history." Which I did ever since finding my ancestor's photo. Unfortunately I hadn't found out much about her. Except that she's had a son called Jasper Clearwater, that she had been kidnapped by a rival tribe and that she had disappeared after her grandson had been born. But nobody had any idea where she had gone to and what she had done there. We hadn't even known where she had come from when she returned to our tribe. That was awesome tribal history! No one knew anything.

Liev grinned. "I like history! Will you be wearing a costume?" I shrugged. "Probably not. There's no reason for that." He smiled. "Anyway, I'll be there, I promise. What time do we have?" That was actually a good question. I pulled out my cell phone. "Already one o'clock", I moaned, "I have to work at two. Need lunch before that. I better go home." Liev nodded. "I wanted to surf, anyway. But maybe I can visit you at your store. Get your mind off the potatoes." I laughed. "Okay! Looking forward to it." We shook hands for good-bye, and I drew Jacob away from Shaun and Lucas – they had talked about cars and seemed to get along just fine – so we could go home.

Jake was grinning at me all the way back to my house. "What?", I finally asked very annoyed. "He likes you", he just stated. "Who?", I asked, knowing very well who he meant. "Liev. You like him, too!" He smiled triumphantly. "Bullshit", I said, not very convincing. Jacob just laughed. "I know you, Leah Clearwater! And you definitely like him. You'll see!" And with that, he kissed my cheek and walked away, probably grinning like the idiot he was.

Work was very boring today. Not only nothing happened, but there also was nothing to do. I had picked out mouldy fruits yesterday. There were no new goods to put away, and if I called Jasper and Logan ccaught me, he would get pissed at me for phoning at work.

It was four-thirty when the door was opened and a very wet Liev entered the store. He walked directly towards me, making the floor wet with water drops from his clothes and hair. "Oops", he siad when he realized that, "I'm sorry. They pushed me into the ocean. It's cold." I raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" He grinned. "Who's they, anyway?", I asked. "Ben, mostly. And then Shaun, Chrissi, Anna and Anka. And Stella laughed at me. But I think it was Ben's idea. I've told you he's my cousin." He said that as if it explained everything. "Poor Liev", I mocked him. "Yes, I am! I'm freezing!" "You should have changed your clothes." Now he shook his head. "Nah, I didn't know when you had off, and I didn't want to disappoint you." Aww. How sweet. Maybe Jake had been right. I smacked my subconscousness. Jake had NOT been right. Definitely not.

"Where were the showers again?", Liev asked. "Just go through that door", I pointed at a door in the back of the store, "and then to the right. There's a toilet, too." He looked relieved. "Awesome. Will you excuse me for a second?" And he disappeared.

About five minutes later, he returned, looking even more relieved. "Thank you", he said. I smiled. He looked around the store. "Is there anything good here?", he asked, checking out the shelves. "Nothing you wouldn't get at some other supermarket. But I like the chocolate chip cookies. They're great." He nodded, looking convinced. Then he walked over to the cookie shelf, took two packages of said cookies and paid for them. "When's your shift over?", he asked. "At six", I said. He looked at his watch. "I'll get you then. For a walk. If you want to." I grinned. "Sure! See you at six!" He winked at me and left me and the store alone.

At six, I gave Logan the keys and left the store. As soon as I was outside, I saw Liev hurrying towards me. "Sorry", he gasped, "I had to run for my life, they wanted to throw me into the ocean again. For some reason they think that's very funny." I grinned, and we walked both towards our village. Liev was pretty nice, and fun to talk with. Why couldn't our guys be like that?

For about ten minutes we only talked about our favorite movies – his was Star Wars, too – and school. Seemed like everyone was done with school except for me again.

"Is that- no, this isn't- Isn't that the house Harry and I vandalized last year?" "My father's called Harry", I said, suddenly realizing that Dad and one of the surfers had the same name, "And yeah, that's Sam's house. Care to vandalize a little more?" Liev laughed. "Nah, my parents were already pretty pissed last time. Is that your famous rainforest behind that house?" I rolled my eyes. "No, it's the Great Plains. Sure it is, you moron." "You are very nice, Leah", Liev said. I realized it was only half ironic. We grinned at each other. Liev unpacked a pack of cookies and offered me one. "Can we go hiking one of these days?", Liev finally asked. I thought for a moment. Hiking in the woods was a rather good idea. I liked hiking, and our forest was awesome. "Just the two of us or should we ask the others?", I asked. Liev grinned sheepishly. "Why not just the two of us?" I shrugged and grinned. "Yeah, why not?" Now he smiled even broarder. "Friday?" "That's the day after tomorrow, right? Yeah, sure! Good idea. We can meet in front of the store at, let's say, one o'clock?" He nodded. "Like that." We were back at the store. "Okay, I'll go then. See you Friday", he said. The situation was awkward. Should we shake hands? Give each other a hug? We went with shaking hands, smiled at each other and walked away.

I felt so light and happy, I couldn't believe it myself. How great to finally meet someone who wasn't on Sam's side or even knew the story. Someone who seemed to like me. I liked Liev, too. And Stella. She was an awesome girl.

This was going to be a great summer.

On Friday, July 15, I had packed a map, a compass, water and something to eat in my backpack and had braided my long black hair with a feather hairband. I did look a lot like a Native American today, with my light brown t-shirt and my brown pants and shoes. And for some reason, for the first time in a long, long time, I liked that. My high cheekbones, my heart-shaped lips, and especially my long eyelashes. I really was a pretty girl. It seemed like people were finally noticing that.

I looked at my ancestor's photo above my bed. We looked very similar today. "Well, opposed to you, I have a date today", I mocked the picture. What had Dad told me about her? She'd been a slave, she'd disappeared from our land and had returned 1863, broken from her experiences as a slave. At least Dad had said that. Dad had also told me that one of the Blacks had fallen in love – no, had imprinted on her. "But did you love him back?", I asked out loud,"Because you sure as hell don't look like that. And what kind of a name for a Quileute kid is Jasper? Strange woman, you are." For some reason, I suddenly remembered the dream I'd had in the night before Seth's birthday, the one where a Confederate Major had called me "darlin'" and had covered me in a blanket, telling me he would join me later in his tent. This man had called me "Miss Clearwater", and suddenly, I wasn't so sure anymore that he'd done that because it had been _my _dream. More because the woman's name really had been 'Clearwater'...

I told Dad I was going to hike. "Be careful", he said. I rolled my eyes. "Because of the wolves?" Dad still wasn't feeling comfortable with me knowing what was going on, so he only half-smiled. "Because of everything." I shook my head. "I'll be careful", I promised him and left the house.

Liev was already waiting in front of the store. "Good day, Leah!", he called and smiled widely. "Hey Liev, how are you?" "Great! And you? You look awesome." He smiled shyly, and I beamed. A compliment! Nice. "Thank you. Now shall we?" He nodded. "Do you have a route in mind or are we just walking?", he then asked. Good question. "I think we'll just walk. The most interesting things can only be found when you're not looking for them." Liev grinned. "Awesome."

We started walking towards the part of the forest that was the closest. "So, what are your friends saying about you not being with them today?", I asked. Liev shrugged. "Not much. Ben was making fun of me, as always, and Nathalie told me to be careful before she disappeared behind her Marvel comic." "She's reading comic books?", I asked surprised. Liev nodded. "Whatever comic book she can get her hands on. Right now it's X-Men." "I like X-Men", I stated. "Me too, but I'm not reading the comic books. I don't read much." When had I read my last book? It seemed like years ago.

"So, anyway, your forests are really beautiful", he said after five minutes. "I think so, too. But I hope you've brought something against the rain." Liev looked up into the sky. "Rain? What rain?" I rolled my eyes. "Oh please. It always rains here. It rained yesterday. The day before that we've just been lucky." As if to underline my words, it suddenly started to rain. I pulled out my rain coat and pulled the hood over. Liev looked half-pissed, half-amused. I smiled triumphantly. "Yeeha. That rain, dear Mr Rosenthal." "Awesome", he moaned, "Now I'm all wet again." "This is La Push. You should have known." He shrugged, looking really cute with his drenched blond hair and smiling grey eyes. "You want to go back?", I asked. He shook his head. "I'm fine. I can just switch clothes. I got some in my very special water-proof backpack. See? I can be clever, too!" "Very", I agreed, and we both laughed as we climbed the muddy hills.

"It's so green", Liev said after a little while, "And here I thought rain forests existed only in equatorian countries." I grinned. "Wrong. The rain gets pretty annoying, though." "So there's no such thing as a monsoon?" I shook my head and kept hold of a branch so I wouldn't fall into the muddy leaves on the ground. "No. We have rain, and when it's too cold to rain, it snows. And then it rains again." He smiled. "Surfing in the rain is rather fun. Do you sirf, by the way?" I shook my head. "Why not?" "Never really crossed my mind. Besides, surfing equipment is pretty expensive." Liev nodded. "Is money a problem here?", he asked after a minute. "Not one people actually talk about. But we're having definitely less money than the Forksians or you." Liev nodded again. "Does that make you angry?" I shook my head. "No. What really makes me angry are tourists who think they know our culture. I mean, I'm a full blooded Quileute, and even I don't know everything about my tribe. So I really hate people who come here and think they understand. Who might have seen other tribes - by the way, 'tribe' is mostly considered as a wrong description, usually I would say 'the Quileute nation' - and now think knowing one means knowing all. Who think we're one big people with shared beliefs and values. And while that may be partially true, it didn't stop the praised Chief Seattle, who was so wise and fair, to kill my sister tribe in the 1860ies with his people. Or the Makahs from kidnapping me-", I stopped. Not because I wanted to give Liev a break – on the contrary, he looked very interested – but because I was sure I had uncovered another amazing truth. "-or the Makahs from kidnapping my ancestor and swapping her for their own shaman's son. That's how perfect the Native Americans are. It's all bullshit." Liev stared at me for a minute. Then he said:"But I know something about you, and it fits the cliché perfectly. Which doesn't mean the cliché is true-", he added quickly, "But it fits you. The strong, wise, independent Native American woman."

I smiled at the compliment and helped Liev up an extremely muddy hill. It was raining cats and dogs now.

"But I am not this strong, wise, independent woman", I finally said, more to myself than to Liev. Liev looked at me with questioning eyes. We both sat down on a wet and green tree trunk, drank some water and ate a sandwich. "Why would you think that?", Liev finally asked. I took a deep breath. Did he really want to hear my story? But maybe he did, maybe he wanted me to talk.

"See, I can't be strong because sometimes I'm still crying because Sam left me for my best girlfriend. I am still pissed and angry and sad and I can't shut that feeling away. I should have gotten over him by now, but I haven't. I am weak, because sometimes I am convinced I'm in love with my best friend Jacob, but I can't tell him 'cause I'm not sure about it and because he's way too young for me. He's fifteen!

"I can't be wise because I talk too much, am way too curious and just don't know enough about this world yet. Our chief, he's wise as long as his best friend's aren't around. But I'm just as wise as the bottle of beer he empties now and then.

"And I am certainly not independent, because I'm stuck here, because I'm looking for a man instead of living a few years on my own – as if I needed a man to be properly defined!" Liev interrupted me:"But wouldn't you agree when I say that you cannot define female without male and male without female? It's like light and darkness. The one cannot exist without the other." I smiled at him. He was not only handsome and funny, he was also quite intelligent. "Anyway", I continued, "I'm not independent because apparently I need someone, a boy, a man, to be with me, instead of living just alone with me. So, Liev, thanks for the compliment, but it's not true." Liev grinned and offered me a chocolate chip cookie. "Well, you leave me no choice but to call you extremely strong, wise and independent." I rolled my eyes. "Jackass. Wanna look where our way is taking us?" Liev nodded, and in his enthusiasm, he almost fell onto the brown and very dirty ground.

We walked in silence for the next hour. At some point during that march, Liev took my hand, so that now a curious couple was looking at the huge trees and the green leaves. It felt nice holding his hand. I didn't want to let go. I didn't want Liev to go. Although 'to leave' seemed to be already hidden in his name. I was glad we didn't have to talk all the time.

"Holy shit!", Liev suddenly cursed. I looked around to see what he meant. He looked at something on the ground. It was huge – the imprint of a gigantic paw on the ground. "What kind of animal is that?", he exclaimed. "Sh", I hushed him. He shut up immediately, and I knelt down to take a closer look.

No doubt, a wolf paw. I had informed myself about wolves, so I was pretty sure about that. Only that I couldn't tell Liev. There weren't wolves that big. Suddenly I realized that I had become like Dad – our tribe's secret keeper.

"Probably a bear", I said, hoping that Liev wouldn't question that. He looked as if he doubted that. "A bear that big?" I nodded. "Besides, the rain probably made the imprint look bigger. Don't worry. I know how to avoid bears. All Quileutes know."

Except for Emily, I thought to myself. But then I couldn't be too sure about her being hurt by a bear. Actually, I was now pretty convinced it had been one of our wolves.

"Okay", Liev said, "If you say so." We kept on walking, and I 'unfortunately' covered up the paw's imprint.

Only a few meters past the paw I suddenly smelled a sweet burning scent. The way the Cullens smelled. No, I corrected myself, this wasn't the way the Cullens smelled, not even when I hadn't become accustomed to that. "Sure, they had smelled almost sickly sweet, but this was something different. This smelled dangerous. Even more dangerous than Jasper, and although I liked Jasper best, he also was the one I was sure would scare me the most.

"It smells nice here", Liev stated, "Does that come from the trees?"

Only now I trealized how dangerous that smell was. I didn't know why – it was pure instinct – but if he thought it smelled nice, maybe it was like a carnivorous plant. They smelled nice to their insect victims, and then they ate them. I didn't know what would eat humans, but another fact made me become even more alert: It could be smelled over the rain. Which meant it was probably fresh.

"Let's go!", I said dominantly, but it was not more than a whisper. Liev stared at me, but I had no time for explanations. I had to get us away from this place as fast as possible. I grabbed his wrist and drew him into the direction we had just come from. "Leah, what's wrong?", he asked, confused. What should I tell him? "It's getting darker, and it's hard to find the way back into the village when it's dark", I said, still in a whisper. Although whatever it was that smelled that way would probably be already after us. I wondered if it could smell us.

The trees were getting more and more familiar, and I went the most sensible path – to Sam's house. If there was something or someone that could save us from that sweet smell, it would be giant wolves.

We broke through the woods into the backyard of the cute little house where Sam and Emily lived.

My ears twitched as I heard a wooshing sound behind us. Liev didn't seem to have heard it, but I pushed him even harder until we reached the backyard. "I'm sorry", I hushed, and I was. He probably thought I was insane. Awesome. A guy my age who liked me, and here I acted as I should go to a shrink. I told myself to stop, this was now more important. The strange wooshing sound came nearer, and it sounded as if somebody was half-jumping, half-flying.

I opened the back door – which fortunately was always open – and shoved Liev inside. Before I stormed in myself, my curiosity took over and I turned round to see what was making these noises.

I could only see something red and white glinting from behind the trees, and I heard a hiss.

I had never heard anything scarier.

Except when a growl escaped my lips.

Shocked, I turned round and stormed right into Sam's living room. Liev stood there and stared at me with curious eyes. "Do you live here?" I didn't answer, but stormed into the kitchen, Liev following me. Fortunately the supposed wolf pack sat there, eating Emily's famous muffins. All four – the three guys and Emily – stopped eating and stared at us. "And here I thought it was the wind that slammed the door", Paul said. I did not smile. "Emily, could you give my friend Liev a towel? We were hiking. Maybe he can change in your bathroom?" Liev looked both confused and thankful as Emily smiled at him and led him out of the room.

Now I was alone with the three wolves. Sam looked worried. "Leah, are you okay?" I nodded. "You need to do whatever it is you do!", I suddenly exploded, "I was hiking with Liev, and then I smelled a funny sweet smell over the rain, and there is something in the woods right behind your house!" All three of them stared at each other. "I'm not kidding!", I said furiously, "We barely made it to your place, Sam!"

Sam still looked at me.

And then they jumped up and ran past me. Jared threw me a funny look as he ran into the living room. I watched them hurrying out of the back door, and I was pretty sure I saw a long hairy leg disappear in the forest.

Exhausted, I sat down and helped myself to a muffin. What a day. Damn.

Emily came downstairs again. "Where are they?" I shrugged. "Chasing something. Is Liev okay?" She nodded. "A little confused. I told him it's dangerous to be in the woods when it's dark, and that you just panicked a little. He thinks it's cute that you're worried. He likes you." "Yeah, right", I sighed. Today was really awful.

Liev came back into the kitchen, and Emily handed him a muffin. He looked dry again. "Man, that was fun!" I nodded helplessly. "I think we better go", I said, "Thanks, Emily. See you around." She smiled. "I'd be happy to welcome you here more often", she said. I half-smiled, and Liev and I left the house. It had stopped raining.

"Where are the men?", he asked as we were walking the path that led to the _Lonesome Creek Store. _"Oh, they had to go somewhere. Not that they would tell me" "They were huge!" I nodded. "Yeah. One of them was Sam, by the way."

We reached the store. It was already dark, and one could see a small fire at the beach.

"So...", I said. He smiled. "I've had a great day. You're a great girl. Will we see each other again? I mean, alone. Like, today." I nodded, feeling a weird happy bubble inside of me. Butterflies in my stomach. Damn. Jake had been right. I did like Liev.

"Okay, that's great!", he smiled. "I'll just go to the beach and we can talk about what to do", I said, and he nodded. We hugged – my head reaching his nose – and then I watched him walking away.

He was a great guy.

But what had that been in the woods? And what sound had that been coming from my throat? I tried it again as I walked home, but it didn't work. It had been some sort of growl. I couldn't growl. Sam and his pack could growl when they were in their wolf form. But I had no wolf form, nor would I ever have one. Kaheleha had said it. It was forbidden for women. There weren't any female wolves.

I stormed right up into my room, got ready for bed and laid down. I couldn't sleep at first, but when I had finally fallen asleep, it didn't surprise me that the huge light grey wolf chased me through our woods.

I was getting tired of this.

When would all of this start to make sense?


	28. Wolf Week

Wolf Week

I spent the weekend without seeing the surfers. I wanted to see Liev, but I was a little scared- What had he seen? What did he think about me now? Sure we'd said that we'd meet again, but did he really mean it?

Then, on Monday morning, the door bell rang, and I found Stella standing in front of our house.

"Morning, Leah! Jacob told us that you live here." Confused and surprised, I let her in. We went into our kitchen, where I handed her a glass of water. "So", Stella said after taking a gulp, "We were wondering if you'd like to come bowling with us on Wednesday. You and Jacob." I looked at her, very surprised. "Really?" She nodded. "Sure! We all like you, and Liev's dying to see you again." I turned slightly red, which fortunately was almost invisible to my skin. "He is?" Stella nodded enthusiastically. "I don't know what you've done to him, but he thinks about you all day long. Might become annoying if he continues like that." She winked at me. "Will you come? Jacob said he'd love to, but we just don't have enough seats in our car, so you'd have to drive you two." I thought for a moment. Wednesday afternoon I would have to work, but in the evening... "Okay! Sounds awesome! What time?" "Eight o'clock at the bowling alley." "I'll be there. Are the waves okay?" Stella grinned. "It's so much fun! You should try it out!" I shook my head. "Thank you, but no. I don't think I'm talented enough for that. Besides, I'm a little afraid of the ocean." Stella looked surprised. "Really?" I nodded:"It's so deep, and you can't foresee the currents and the waves. We have been warned about that ever since we've been little kids. Too many drowned in the past. Without a boat I'm not going out there." Stella smiled. "The ocean's not as dangerous as you think. You just have to be careful. Anyway, I just wanted to ask you about Wednesday night, I have to go back now. I've promised Anka and Chrissi to go surfing with them, and I have to tidy up my tent before Nathalie sees it. It's her last time with us, you know." "Why?" "Because after that she's going to the Army, and they probably won't let her leave when we have summer break." We walked back to the door. "See you Wednesday night", she grinned, and I watched her walk away before I shut the door.

Bowling. I was rather bad at that. How embarrassing. Liev would laugh his head off.

First, I had to work, anyway. From twelve to five on Wednesday. Without Logan being there. He trusted me enough to leave me alone at the store. I liked it when being alone there. I could talk to Jasper then without fearing to be caught. And I wanted to talk to Jasper. I hadn't spoken to him in a week, and I began to miss him already.

I got ready and walked through the beginning rain to the store. Logan handed me the keys. "I'll try to be back on time", he promised me, then opened his umbrella and walked away.

I rolled my eyes. He never kept his promises. I didn't know what he was doing, but he certainly wouldn't be back at five. That was Logan.

I entered the store , not without noticing the poster that was announcing the Quileute Days. I was surprised Dad hadn't tried to tie me in yet, as I was supposed to be the next storyteller. But I was glad about that. I didn't want to do anything anyway.

I walked behind the counter and stared out of the store window. The dreamcatchers hung outside and were dancing in the wind. I heard a loud noise. Sounded like thunder.

Oh great. A thunderstorm. Poor surfers.

The door opened, and Jared – without Paul, Sam or even Kim – entered the store, with wet hair and an angry look in his eyes. He was wearing a T-shirt and shorts, but no shoes. "Hello, Jared", I said, and he jumped. Apparently he hadn't noticed me. "Oh, hey, Leah. How are you?" "Great. Can I help you?" He shrugged. "Nah, not really. Can I wait here until the thunderstorm is over?" I nodded. He sat down and leaned against a shelf.

I sat down on the counter and looked out of the window again. Lightning brightened up the sky, and only seconds later, thunder roared loudly. And a minute later, thunder again. Weird.

"So...", I began. Jared looked at me. "How's your summer?" He shrugged. "Better than school. Kayla is getting on my nerves. She's trying to get Paul to date her." "I've heard." He nodded. We were silent again, and another thunder roared. My cell beeped. Jasper's number.

'I'm out! Gonna kill Edward, he's the fastest of us'

Apparently they were playing a game. Another thunder. Then lightning, then thunder again.

"What was that in the woods on Friday?", I finally asked. Jared looked up. "What did you see?", he asked back. "Not much", I shrugged, "Something smelled weird, and I listened to my instincts. They told me to run. I heard a sound like a hiss, but the only thing I saw was something red and white." Jared suddenly seemed interested. "Can you describe the smell?" I was surprised, but tried to remember how exactly that thing had smelled. "It was very sweet. Liev said that it smelled nice, but I thought it was too sweet. It burnt the nose, you know, like a really strong sweet perfume." Jared nodded once and looked away. He seemed as if he was thinking about something. "Could you please tell me now what that was?", I exploded. He rolled his eyes. "Jeez, calm down. It's not my fault you don't listen to the stories." I groaned. Now _Jared _was telling me I wasn't interested in our tribal stories? Stupid true legends that they were. "That's not even true, you moron. Now tell me what I have missed." He looked at me for a while. "I can't tell you anything." I groaned again. "You're just stupid. Tell me what I need to hear." Jared stood up. "I think I have to go now. Thanks for letting me stay."

He walked to the door and opened it, but before he left the store, he turned round to me again. "I really cannot help you. Maybe I would, but I'm tied by order. I can tell you though that you need to hear the story of the Third Wife of Taha Aki."

And with that, he left the store.

The story of the Third Wife. I knew that that was the third big legend of our tribe, but I couldn't remember anything. I would have to ask Dad about it. I wondered if he'd have time for that, though. The Quileute Days were coming nearer and nearer, and that meant a lot of work for him.

I yawned and texted Jasper he should hit Edward in the face. Not very creative, but I didn't like Edward.

I looked around the store, but there was nothing interesting. I looked at my watch. Three thirty. Couldn't it be eight already? Nothing happened!

It was plain boring. There was nothing I wanted to eat, and nothing I could do. I began moving the flour packages so that the oldest stood in the front. Why was nobody visiting me? Why did all people have to work? Nobody came buying something. I had never experiencend work as so boring. Maybe it was because I wanted it to be tonight.

Oh, nobody would come today! Why couldn't I just close the store today?

My cell beeped again. Jasper had answered.

'Done'

Nice! At least one person had done something sensible. Although I couldn't imagine Jasper actually hitting somebody. He probably had done something else.

I called Logan to tell him that I wasn't feeling well and that I was closing the store. He just said there probably wouldn't be any customers, anyway.

I closed the store, but instead of going home, I walked straight into the forest. This thing from Friday was fascinating me. I didn't care about the third wife's story. I would find out on my own.

What was making me so courageous, I didn't know. I remembered being scared on Friday, but that feeling was gone now.

The forest didn't protect me from the rain, and I hadn't brought my raincoat or an umbrella. Stupid me. I would get sick. Or probably not. I rarely got sick. That was something that got on my nerves.

The store had already disappeared, and there were only trees around me. I sniffed, but I didn't smell the sweet scent again. The only thing I smelled was the rain and the wet leaves. I liked that.

Deeper and deeper I walked into the forest. I didn't think much, which probably was very stupid. It was totally insensible to walk alone in those forests, without anything to eat or to drink, without a map and a compass. Totally insensible and completely stupid, I knew that. And still, I didn't turn round.

What time was it? Four thirty. Time was so slow today.

I looked around. Where was I? Deep in the forest, everything looked pretty much the same. I needed to find a path. If I found a path, I would find my way back.

And then, as if I had fallen into a pool of perfume, the sweet scent of Friday was all around me. The thing had been here. Why was I here? Why hadn't I stayed at the store? Why had I walked into the forest?

I couldn't see the creature that was smelling so sweet. But a strange feeling crept up my back. My instincts told em to run, but then I thought it over. If I ran, the strange thing would smell me above the rain. But if I waited in the loud of its own scent, the thing would only smell itself and maybe go away. If it was near me, of course.

I waited there, not moving an inch, for about half an hour. Then desperation took over. I didn't know where I was. I didn't know which way to go. The scent got less intense with the continuing rain, and a feeling of danger clouded my thoughts.

I looked around and got angry at myself. Why had I been so stupid? Why had I gone into the woods? I knew it was dangerous to walk in there cluelessly.

The feeling of danger got more intense, and I decided to walk away. I just moved a few trees forward, and suddenly I knew where I was. Well, I still didn't know the way back, nor knew I exactly where I was, but I had seen this place before. In my dream. Where I had spoken to Kaheleha.

The place felt strange. Sacred. I was pretty sure I would never find it again once I'd leave.

There was the tree trunk Kaheleha had stood next to. I touched the trunk, as if to see if it was real. It was. Maybe I half expected something to happen, but it didn't. This was just a place deep in the forest, I realized. Nothing sacred about the trees.

Suddenly, I heard a branch crack.

It was a loud noise in the otherwise silent forest, and I jumped. I tried to calm down. Probably just an animal. And then I saw something red between the brown and green trees. I remembered the red thing from Friday, and without much thinking, I began running.

The ground was slippery, and many fallen trees proved to be obstacles in my way. But amazingly, I did not fall.

I didn't know whether the thing was following me. I didn't even know whether it was the same thing I had seen on Friday. But I knew that I ran faster than ever before. The wood was rushing past me, and I could hear my heart pumping blood through my body. It sounded like heavy feet on the ground – no, more like huge paws. The sound calmed me, and at the same time, it pushed me to run faster.

The trees were a green stripe to my left and to my right as I jumped across a tree that was lying on the ground.

And then my jeans got stuck on a small branch on the tree I just had jumped across, and I fell.

I tried to get up, but fell right back onto the ground. Awesome. I had hurt my ankle. And something might be after me.

I tried to get up again, but my left foot hurt too much. I took out my cell, but of course I haf no reception.

And that was when I really started to get desperate. I didn't know where I was. I couldn't reach anyone. I had hurt my foot. I had told Logan I would go home, while everytone lese thought that I was still at the store. I looked at my cell. The clock was working. No! Six-fifteen already! Hopefully they would start to worry about me soon.

It was still raining, so I crawled to the tree I had fallen over and laid back against it. I told myslef to not start crying – after all, it had been my fault I was stuck here.

The tears came, anyway. Mostly because the foot really hurt. I really hoped I hadn't broken it. After all, Seth usually was the one breaking bones.

I stopped crying because I thought I had seen something black and huge on a small hill not far away from me. A bear?

No, it wasn't a bear. It was a wolf. One of _our _wolves, to be precise. Normal wolves didn't get so big.

Who was it? Paul? No, Paul was grey. Then Jared, maybe? But this wolf was so much bigger than Paul, and in my opinion, only the Alpha wolf could be so big.

I realized this wolf was probably my only way to get out of the forest. I didn't really like this idea, although I was pretty sure that the pack knew that I knew, for Dad had surely told them. But I had no other choice. It was hard to be found in this forest. It could take them hours, if not days.

The wolf sniffed and began walking down the hill. "Sam!", I shouted and tried to get up again. The tree was helpful, I could lean against it. "Samuel!"

The man-wolf raised his head and looked directly into my direction. He yelped. "Sam! Help me!" He came nearer, and I realized how huge he really was – so huge that he had to look down to look at me. His eyes were those of Sam. He yelped again. "Well, I got lost, obviously." The wolf looked as if he wanted to laugh. I looked angry. "That's not funny! And I've hurt my foot and now I don't know how to get home." The wolf snorted and shook his head in what looked like annoyance.

Then he knelt down in front of me and nodded once while rolling his eyes.

Was he meaning what I thought he was? Trying wouldn't hurt, this was a man in a wolf's body and not a bloodthirsty beast. I jumped on one foot to Wolf-Sam's back and climbed on it. The fur was easy to grab. It felt funny to sit on a wolf's back. That was something I could get used to.

Sam began walking, very careful so he wouldn't fall off his back. Soon, the trees became familiar. Had I only gotten so far, I would have found out of the wood. I knew we came nearer to Sam's house.

I hated myself. I didn't want to thank Sam, or to see Emily. I wanted to see Liev. Much more fun than trying to explain Sam what one had been doing in the woods.

We broke through the trees, and Sam trotted to the backdoor where he knelt down again so I could climb off. I sat down on the wet stairs – not that it would matter anymore, I was completely wet and muddy – while Wolf-Sam disappeared behind the trees.

Five minutes later, the man sam came back, wearing nothing but shorts. He smiled a little smile and helped me get inside the house. Apparently Emily wasn't at home. "Emily's shopping with Kim for Paul's birthday", Sam explained as he sat me down on the couch in the living room, "And now tell me, what were you doing in there?" He meant the forest, although it sounded as if I had caught him and Emily in the bedroom. I shrugged. "I don't know. I just walked in there. I can't forget that thing from Friday. Maybe I wanted to find out what it was. I found the smell again!", I beamed, and then I began crying. Sam sat down next to me and laid an arm around me. I suddenly remembered why I had fallen in love with him. And I realized that I missed him. No Liev or Jacob could change that.

What was that stupid saying again?

Your first love never really dies.

"How have you hurt your foot?", he asked. I tried to remember. "I walked around the forest and found a place where it smelled so strangely sweet. I wanted to go away from there-" "Very sensible", Sam interrupted. "- but then I thought the thing wouldn't smell me beneath the cloud of its own smell, so I did not walk away." "Even more sensible", Sam interrupted me again. "And then I heard a noise, got scared and ran away. I didn't know – and I still don't know – whether I was being followed, but I just ran. And then I tripped, and now my foot hurts! And I'm meeting the surfers tonight! This is so unfair!" Sam laughed. "Do you allow me to take a look at your foot?" I nodded, and he removed the shoe and the sock. It felt strange being touched by him. The air suddenly seemed electric as he touched my bare foot with his warm hands.

"Hm. I don't think you've broken it. Let me put something on it, though." He walked out of the room, and I wondered if he had not felt it. But then I thought that imprinting probably made him feel nothing towards me anymore.

Your first love never really dies... unless he imprints.

Sam returned with a first-aid-box and a cup of hot tea. "You must be freezing", he said and handed me the cup. Then he knelt down to put a bandage on my foot. I took a small gulp of tea and then looked out of the window. "Here you go", Sam said and stood up, smiling widely, "I think you can go to that meeting tonight. What time will you meet?" "Eight o'clock at the bowling alley in Forks. Oh God! What time is it?" "It's seven. You should take a hot shower. I'm sure some of Emily's clothes will fit you. Shall I give you a towel?" I nodded. Hot shower sounded good. I really was freezing. Besides, I probably looked very muddy.

Sam helped me to the bathroom and handed me a towel. "I'll leave you alone now. Call me if you need anything."

I closed the door and tried to get out of my jeans. That was a lot harder than usual because my foot hurt and I couldn't stand on it. But there was no way I would ask Sam to help me. My unwillingness to ask my ex-boyfriend to help me out of my pants led to me needing ten minutes to get naked.

Then I stepped into the shower. The hot water felt good. It warmed me up. I could stay here forever.

I washed my hair twice and almost emptied Emily's shower gel. Not because I was angry with her, but because it smelled so good. I would have to ask her from where she'd gotten it.

I realized I must have showered for already fifteen minutes, and so I turned the shower off. I hobbled out of the shower and wrapped myself in the towel.

Somebody – probably Sam – knocked at the door. I opened it slightly. "I've got a pair of Emily's jeans and one of my t-shirts", Sam said. I opened the door wider and looked up into his eyes. He stared at me. Was I looking hideaous? The towel covered me – it was short, but the critical places could not be seen, no doubt about that. My long black, wet hair fell to one side, and from all over my body, water dropped onto the floor. In my opinion, that was sexy, not hideous.

Sam still just stared. He looked as if he would drop the clothes any second now.

And then his lips were on mine, and his hands were on my back as he pulled me closer. I leaned into the kiss – because wasn't this what I wanted?

His hands carressed my cheek, and then he grabbed my legs, pulled me up and pressed me against the wall. Half of me worried that the towel might drop on the floor, but on the other hand: What would be so bad about that?

"Leah", he moaned, and I didn't know whether he wanted to stop or to continue. I would not be the one to break the kiss. Certainly not.

I pressed him closer. It felt so great to touch his body, and I hoped he wouldn't stop.

But because I was Leah Clearwater and not Emily Young, Sam suddenly stopped and put me back on the ground. He smiled sheepishly. "I am sorry, Leah. I shouldn't have – here are your clothes. I'm gonna make something to eat."

And with that, he left me standing where I was.

I was confused and pissed. Why had he kissed me? Now Emily would have a reason to be angry with me! Besides, this was hurting me!

I already hated mysel. I hated myself even more when I needed another ten minutes to get dressed. Stupid foot.

My hair was dtill wet, but I didn't want to dry it. I didn't have time for that. I had to get Jacob – shoot, I hadn't even talked to him yet! I quickly sent him a message telling him I would get him at about ten to eight, then I hobbled into the kitchen where Sam had made some scrambled eggs. I sat down and began eating. I was feeling exhausted and confused, but I wanted to go to the bowling alley tonight. Meet Liev and forget Sam.

Sam sat down on the opposite side of the table. "How did you know it was me?" "Do you mean, how do I know there's a wolf pack, or, how did I know the black one was you?" "The latter", Sam smiled. I loved his smile. "Harry told the council you saw Paul turning." Hopefully he hadn't told that I had swore at Sam. "I just made a good guess", I said, "I knew Paul was grey, and I remembered his size. I reckoned only the Alpha could be so huge, so I tried it. Better than to stay there." Sam smiled even broarder. "You are way too clever, Leah", he said. Jasper had said that, too. I shook my head. "Nah, I still haven't found out why you are here. I won't give up until then. I'll ask Dad about the story of the Third Wife." Sam sighed. "You really won't give up, right?" I shook my head. "No. This is something I need to know. Anyway, I need to go. Thank you for everything. Without you, I would still be in the forest, shouting for help and then being killed by that sweet-smelling creature." Sam laughed. "Probably." he helped me to the door. "Can you walk home alone?", he asked, really sounding worried. I nodded and hugged him. "Thanks, Sammy. I'll bring back the clothes tomorrow." "Keep the shirt", he said and winked at me. I smiled and then walked – no, hobbled – away.

Driving my car hurt pretty bad. I wished I hadn't gone into the forest. And then, if I hadn't gone and got lost in the forest, I would have never kissed Sam, which would have been better for both of us. I tried to shake that thought off as Jacob entered my car. I wanted to think of Liev. Liev was nice. Much nicer than Sam, who had kissed me without being my boyfriend.

I just hoped this evening would be great.

"What have you done today?", Jake asked. "Working", I said, "And then walking a little. I tripped and hurt my foot, so I can only watch." Not too bad, thinking how bad I was at bowling. "Ouch", Jacob chuckled, "Why did you trip?" "Something scared me", was my answer. "What? A squirrel?" Why was he so curious? "A noise", I answered and hoped he would shut up. He seemed to find that hilarious. I didn't.

We were almost ten minutes late, but that was okay. The surfers were just getting out of their car, too. I hugged Stella and Liev and shook hands with the others. "What have you done to your foot?", Liev asked as I hobbled into the building."I tripped after a noise had scared me, and now my foot hurts. I don't think I can play." Liev didn't look sad. "Well, you came, that's all that counts." I smiled. Liev really was an awesome guy.

The surfers and Jacob began playing, and I watched them from a comfortable couch. Every now and then somebody came to sit next to me, most of the time Liev.

After a while, we sat really close to each other. I yawned. "I'm sorry, Liev. I've had a rough day. I'm so tired." I yawned again. He shrugged and grinned. "You can sleep if you want to." He laid an arm around my shoulder and pressed me against his body. Unfortunately that reminded me of Sam, and this really spoiled my evening.

I didn't understand. Why had he kissed me? Of course I was pretty good-looking, but an imprinted guy shouldn't care. I thought that maybe he still had feelings for me. Maybe part of him still loved me. Maybe 'your first love never really dies' counted for both of us. But it hurt me. He shouldn't have done that. _We _shouldn't have done that.

Liev left me again because it was his turn. He was pretty good at bowling, like most of the surfers. Jacob was good, too. I didn't know why. We never went bowling!

The story of the Third Wife. Why couldn't I remember it? Maybe I had never heard it before – but that couln't be. Dad always told the Big Three on Quileute Days, so I had probably heard it before. That could only mean I hadn't paid attention. Well, back then, I hadn't known it would be important one day.

Liev returned and smiled at me. "Natty's winning. Who would have thought. Honestly, she's awesome in everything. She's gonna be a major in not more than twenty years." I grinned. "So she really wants to go to the Army?" Liev nodded. "And she's gonna do it." "What will you do after the holidays?" "Trying to change college so I can go to the same as Stella, Chrissi, Anka, Anna, Shaun and Harry. Ben will change with me, and Lucas is still thinking about that. It would be great to be at the same collge." "Great!", I smiled. It must be nice to have so many friends. I could tell nobody about Sam and me. I couldn't tell my family, they would worry too much. Jake would be pissed. I had no girlfriend to talk to. The only one whom I could tell and who would probably listen was Jasper. How stupid. I couldn't call him now, but I needed someone to talk to immediately.

I looked around. Liev had already gone to play again, and all the other surfers were busy, too. I hobbled to Jacob. "Jake, Mom has just texted me, she wants me to get some stuff from the supermarket." It was only half a lie – this morning, mom had asked me whether I could go buy some things, and I'd shrugged. Now that was the international sign for 'Maybe', and as my 'Maybe' usually meant 'Yes, but not now", I could just go shopping now. Jacob nodded. He was flirting with Chrissi, apparently, and didn't mind too much. Liev asked if he could join me, but that was just impossible. "No, you just stay here with your friends. I'll make up to you, I promise", I winked at him and hobbled out of the bowling alley and into my car.

My foot still hurt very much, but I managed to drive to the Cullens' house without biting my lip too much. Maybe I had sprained something. Bad.

I parked my car in the Cullens' driveway and walked up to the bright-lit house. Seemed like they were all still up. I rang the bell, and seconds later, the big one, Emmett, opened the door. "Ah, it's you", he grinned, "Come in, come in." He stepped aside. I hobbled into the house and looked around. "Are you hungry?", Emmett asked, "Because I could cook something for you." I was about to say yes when someone else said:"Don't agree, Leah, he cannot cook." I turned around to see a smiling Rosalie behind me. How could anyone be so freaking beautiful?

"That's not true, Rosie", Emmett complained, "I can cook all kinds of meals. How about mashed potatoes with a nice steak, peas and carrots?" That did sound pretty good, but I didn't know whether to trust Emmett – or Rosalie, for that matter. She didn't like me.

Rosalie smiled at me. "I've heard Alice has given you some of my clothes. We have about the same size, so I hope they fit you." She had no malice in her voice. "You know", she said, "Isabella wouldn't take anything we offered." I didn't know whether that was good or bad for her. I felt uncomfortable standing between a grinning Emmett and a smiling Rosalie. Where was Jasper?

Fortunately that very same second that I was thinking that thought, Jasper appeared behind Rosalie. "Emmett, Rosalie, I think the lady is here to visit me. Hello, Leah." He walked past Rosalie and gave me hug. "How can I help you, darlin'?" "I just need to talk to you, if I'm not bothering you." He smiled. "Of course you can talk to me. Follow me into the kitchen." He shot Emmett an evil glance, and I could hear Rosalie chuckle.

When we were in the kitchen, he said:"They won't hear us here. They wouldn't dare. Now, are you hungry?" I nodded, but said:"I don't have much time. I have to go to the bwling alley, Jacob and the surfers have gone there. I told them I had to get some things from the supermarket. Which I really have to do, so I'm kind of in a hurry." "You can just take the things you need from here. You know we don't eat, so the groceries just get mouldy. We ought to have everything you need. Anyway, tell me what you want to eat. Did Emmett's idea sound good to you?" I nodded. "How long do you think your average shopping trip would take?" "Half an hour, maybe?", I shrugged. "Alright, that's enough time. Call Jacob to tell him you're back in forty minutes, then it's quarter to ten. He won't worry, and you're not in a rush." I did as Jasper had told me. Jacob didn't mind too much. He was probably trying to get Chrissi to kiss him. And Liev would just have to accept that I'd return later.

"And now tell me", Jasper said as he began peeling the potatoes, "What is bothering you so much that you come to my house in the evening, lying to your friends about your whereabouts?" He was done peeling. "You're fast", I said, really surprised at how fast he had been done. "Yes, I am. You wouldn't see me if I ran." He smiled broardly, then he looked serious again. 2What have you done to your foot?" I told him the story from the beginning. He didn't interrupt me until I came to the part with the sweet-smelling cloud. By then, he had put the potatoes in a pot, and in another one he was cooking the peas and carrots. He had also put a frying pan on the stove and checked the heat. When I told him about being surrounded by that smell, he almost dropped the fork he was holding. "Leah", he said, and his tone was dead serious, "Please, promise me: Don't go into the woods until I tell you it's safe to do so. It's dangerous in there." I didn't understand that. "I've thought so, but why? What is this smell coming from?" Jasper sighed as he put a steak into the pan. "Don't ask me", he said, "That's not my story to tell. Just don't go in there again." "Okay", I said, now very curious. Jasper shot me a warning glance. "I'm an empath, darlin', I can sense you're curious. If you don't take serious what Ah'm sayin', Ah can't guarantee fer nuttin'." His accent was now stronger than ever, and I could hear Alice shouting from upstairs:"Accent, honey, nobody can understand you!"

Jasper shrugged and looked at me again while mashing the potatoes and peppering the steak. I raised my hands in defense. "Okay, okay, I promise you!"

Weird thing about Jasper Whitlock number nine:

9. He was an empath. He could feel what I was feeling.

"Good", he said, "Continue."

I told him how I had tripped over a tree and that now my foot hurt. "Hm", he said, "Would you mind if I took a look at it? I've studied medicine."

10. He had studied medicine.

"So you're a doctor?", I asked. He shook his head. "I couldn't do the really important stuff. I can't- I can't see – the – the bl- blood." He exhaled and smiled at me. Weird. "But I have learned enough to take a look at your foot." "Okay", I said, "but it's probably nothing. It just hurts. It's gonna be fine tomorrow." Jasper raised an eyebrow as he took a plate out of a shelf and filled it with mashed potatoes, peas, carrots and the steak. "Here you go", he said, putting the plate in front of me, "Do you want to drink something?" He opened the fridge. "We have iced tea-" "That's fine with me." He filled a glass with iced tea and handed me that one, too. "And now you are going to tell me what is bothering you so much, and then I'll look at your foot."

So while I was eating, I told him about Sam. Of course I did not tell how Sam could turn into a wolf, but I explained how he'd taken me home. "And then we kissed", I ended, "And I have no idea whether he started it, or I, and what I'm gonna do now, because my hateful cousin now has a good reason to be pissed at me, which is pretty bad, because I wanna be pissed at her forever. And I don't get Sam. Why did he do that? I mean, Emily's is imprint. He's lost all feelings for me-" "How can you be so sure of that?", Jasper asked. I stared at him. "What?" He rolled his eyes. "Leah, just because he has found his perfect fit, he once had been convinced that you were the one and only for him. I can't imagine that this is completely gone. Besides, Emily could only be the perfect fit for who he is now. Maybe, back when you still were his, you were the perfect one. And because part of who he was will always be inside of him, he'll always feel something for you." I looked pissed, and Jasper had to laugh. "You would know", I snorted. He was serious again right away. "I do, Leah, I do. Remember the story about the first girl that I've ever loved. Lily was her name. Part of me still loves her, no matter how much in love I'm with Alice. And then there was this other woman, my best friend, and I still love her, too." I was silent. Maybe Jasper was right. But that didn't change anything. Sam could kiss me all he wanted, he would never be mine again. I would just have to accept that.

Jasper smiled at me. "Now, if you have finished your meal, perhaps you could tell me what you need from the store." I shook all my thoughts about Sam off and tried to remember Mom's shopping list. "Milk, honey, butter and sugar. And tomatoes." While I was talking, Jasper moved around the kitchen and collected said items. When he was done, he saluted. "Ma'am!" I had to grinand wanted to get up, but Jasper pushed me back into the chair. "And now to your foot", he announced, "Please take off your shoe and sock." I did as I was told. It hurt, but I didn't show it. "Hm", Jasper said. He knelt in front of me. "It's sprained. You shouldn't move it. Let me get you some crooks." He disappeared and returned with a pair of them. "Here you go. You can just return them ehen your foot's okay. That should be in a little more than a week, but if it continues to hurt, please go to the hospital and tell Carlisle about that. You shouldn't drive your car, though." "I have to!", I complained. Jasper shook his head. "I'll drive you back. Get one of your friends to drive you home." He looked as if I couldn't say anything against it, and so I agreed, being pissed. He just laughed and grabbed the groceries. "Come on", he said, "and don't forget the crooks."

I hobbled behind him, but I seemed to be too slow for him. He turned round and rolled his eyes. "Oh, for God's sake, let me carry you to your car." He swooped me up so that I was sitting on his arm. That felt weird.

11. He was very strong.

He walked to my car and sat me down on the front seat. "The keys", he commanded, and I handed him my keys immediately. He sat down on the driver's seat and drove me back to the bowling alley. The surfers' car was still there.

"Thanks", I said to Jasper, "That's really nice of you. I mean, now you have to walk all the way back." Jasper snorted. "Don't you worry, Ma'am, I told you I'm very fast." He kissed my hand. It was a very cold, creepy kiss, but I felt excited, anyway. Stupid manners. Were still working today. Jasper smirked, and suddenly, he was gone.

12. He really was extremely fast.

I got out of my car and hobbled on my crooks back into the bowling alley. Nothing seemed to have changed: They were all laughing, Jake was flirting with Chrissi, and Liev smiled happily at me.

Damn! How should I explain the crooks? Fantasy, it's your turn!

These were my two pokémon: irony and fantasy. They were awesome.

Unfortunately, Liev realy did ask where I had gotten the crooks from. Stupid smart guy. "I met one of the Forksian doctors at the supermarket, and when he saw my foot, he went to his car and gave me these crooks. Said driving the car was stupid. That means I need someone to drive Jacob and me home." I shot Liev a pleading look, and of course he agreed immediately.

And then I finally was home. Liev had dropped off Jacob first. Then he had driven me home and had helped me put the groceries into the kitchen. Back at the door, I planted a soft kiss on his cheek. He brightened up. "Thank you, Liev", I said, "See you soon." And with the good feeling of having made someone happy, I watched him walk away and then closed the door.

I walked upstairs and into the bathroom. Sometimes so many things happened on just one day, and then the next day would be just plain boring. I bet that nothing would happen tomorrow.

I tried to process what had happened today. I had worked, had been chased by something through the forest, had sprained my foot, had met Wolf-Sam, had kissed Imprinted-Sam, had gone bowling with the surfers, had driven to Jasper to talk to him and had kissed Liev on the cheek. That was enough for a whole week!

Pissed, I brushed my teeth, used the toilet, got dressed in my pajamas – meaning one of my shirts and boxershorts that once had belonged to my brother. Before I had stolen them. Only out of charitable reasons! The boxershorts had a print saying "Try my banana", and he couldn't wear that when seeing Abby. Which he did quite often these days, and that was the reason I didn't see my brother so often. And, honestly, that pissed me off. Where was my stupid little brother with whom I could play stupid games and watch romances? I missed him. I would have to ask him if we could do something together.

For some reason I suddenly remembered running away from that thing in the forest today. How my heart had sounded! How could the sound have calmed me and pushed me at the same time?

I fell asleep, dreaming of green... green... green...

_Everything was green around me, I couldn't make out any shapes. Suddenly all got clearer, and I realized I was standing in the forest. For no real reason I began walking southwards, soon starting to run slightly. I got faster and faster, until I reached a speed where the trees were only a green blurr __again, and my heart made sounds that sounded more like paws hitting the ground. _

_And then I broke through the trees and suddenly stood on a great plain of greenish yellow grass. The sun was settimg, and everything was beautiful and bright._

_Only then I realized somebody was there with me. To my right stood a woman, only slightly smaller than I was, with short black hair that was braided in some places. She was wearing the leather clothes of old Native American tribes, with black, red and white patterns embroidered on them, and she wore no shoes. Her eyes shone full with curiosity and interest. But she didn't move towards me, and so I stayed where I was, too. Only now I saw that she was wearing a wolf fur around her shoulders. She looked a little like my great-great-great-grandma Clearwater – a little like me – and now she raised her arm in a way of greeting - me, or someone else? _

_I turned to my left. There was another woman, a little taller than I was, with short, but tidy-looking hair. She looked Native American with her high cheek-bones, the russett- coloured skin and her black hair, but she was not dressed like one. She wore one of the dresses in the style of the Civil War fashion. Her dress was dark blue and very simple, but beautiful. Her face looked familiar, but only when she raised her hand in the very same way the other woman had done, I recognized her._

_And that almost gave me a heart attack._

_It was my great-great-great-grandma, Leah Clearwater the Older. I stared at her, and then at the other woman. Who was that? Why did they know each other?_

_The other woman nodded at Leah the Older, and then both looked at me. "It's about time", Leah the Older said, and I got scared._

_Both began shaking, and the woman whose name I didn't know exploded first. In her place was now a snow-white wolf – not as big as Sam or Paul, but bigger than normal wolves. I tried to ignore her._

_Suddenly great-great-great-grandma Leah exploded, too, and the grey wolf which suddenly stood in her place was only a little smaller than Wolf-Paul._

_But what scared me the most was that it was the wolf that kept on chasing me through my dreams. _

_I did not think._

_I just ran back into the forest and escaped the two wolves._

_For now. _


	29. Myth Week

Myth Week

In that weird dream from Wednesday night I had been able to outrun the two female wolves, but I was pretty sure that I'd dream about them again.

I thought about asking Dad for help. I wanted to get rid of the nightmares.

I wondered why I had dreamt of my ancestor turning into a wolf. Maybe I was just making this up. But maybe there was a true core.

I thought about that while eating my cereal Saturday morning. And then something crossed my mind that made me choke.

What if Leah the Older had been able to turn into a wolf? What if she had been like Sam, Jared and Paul? I tried to remember everything I knew about her.

She'd had short hair.

Sam, Jared and Paul had short hair, too. And that ever since they had been able to turn into a wolf.

She had never had even one grey hair.

The stories said wolf-people didn't age.

But that wasn't enough proof. I needed more. What was there that I could use to find out whether she really had been a wolf?

There was nothing. I could either assume that she had been able to turn into a wolf, or I could assume that she had _not _been able to do that.

What was better?

Better for me was to assume that she had not been one of the wolf-people. Then why did that feel so wrong? It was a really strange feeling – almost as if my soul was rebelling against the thought of her not being a wolf.

And if I assumed that she _had _been a wolf? That was feeling much better, as if my soul agreed to that. But it left me with tons of questions: Why? When? How? Where? And most important: Who would be able to answer these questions?

Oh, stupid tribal history! If I hadn't been born a Native American, if I had been born a pale-face, I would have been normal, I would not have had problems with tribal myths. Ah, sweet dream. I wanted to be normal, a pale-face. A history-free, wolf-free pale-face.

A little pissed, I finished my cereal and shot an evil glance in Dad's direction. He would have to talk to me soon. I couldn't get any answers about Leah Clearwater the Older, I at least wanted to get answers about the wolf pack itself. I wanted to hear the story of the Third Wife.

But Dad was too focused on the Quileute Days on the weekend of 30th of July to 1st of August. He was stressed out, and I knew I had to ask him at the right moment.

I wanted to meet Liev, too. But I didn't have the time for that right now.

I yawned. I was so tired because I needed ages to fall asleep. I was too afraid of dreaming of the two female wolves again. I didn't want to be chased through the woods. I didn't want to be eaten by wolves! I had to get rid of them, somehow.

This afternoon, the sun was out, and Dad spent the sunny hours outside in our garden. I took a deep breath and went out to speak with him.

"Hey Dad, can I talk to you?" Dad smiled at me. "Of course, sweetie. What's on your mind?" I took another deep breath, and then I told him about my dream.

Dad listened to me, and when I asked him:"What can I do to make them go away?", Dad sighed. "I don't know what you can do. But you can ask Old Quil, he's an expert in dreams." I nodded. "Thanks, Daddy."

Hopefully Old Quil would know a good answer.

He didn't.

"See, Leah, this dream is an initiation dream, at least it was in old times. Being caught by the Quileute tribal wolf means being accepted into the tribe. The wolf is supposed to catch you."

That had been Quil's answer. An initiation dream. I didn't need to be initiated! No, certainly not. Stupid dream. If the wolf caught me, I'd die. Okay, so what would be so bad about dying? Maybe I should try it out. I wouldn't die in real life, thank God.

After these revelations, I walked up to my room to get my car keys so I could drive to Billy. For some reason my gaze locked upon the photo of Leah Clearwater the Older. I took it off the wall to take a closer look. Maybe she really had been a wolf. And maybe not. But there hadn't been any wolf-women, according to legend. And maybe she had been an exception. An exceptional female wolf.

I turned the picture round and re-read the back: 'Leah Clearwater, 1862, Myers photographing, Floresville'.

Where was Floresville, anyway? Maybe googling it would help. I turned my computer on and waited for the window to pop up. It took a while, but then I could finally type in 'Floresville', and hit enter.

It took Google a few seconds to find results, but then I could see it: 'Floresville, Texas'.

I stared at the screen. Floresville, Texas. _Texas_. Leah Clearwater the Older had been in Texas? Apparently, and that in _1862. _That had been about the time Jasper had lived in Texas. Funny coincidence.

I took out my journal, the colorful book that Jacob had given me last year, and grabbed the blue pen from my parents. I wrote down:

_1. Things I know about my great-great-great-grandmother Leah Clearwater:_

_2. She had been born 1842_

_3. She had been taken as a slave_

_4. She had returned to Quileute Country in 1863_

_5. Matthew Black had imprinted on her_

_6. She had married him_

_7. They had had a son, Jasper Black, later Clearwater_

_8. Matthew had died, and she had taken back her maiden name_

_9. She had had short hair_

_10. She had been our storyteller_

_11. She hadn't become old_

_12. She had had a funny cold scar_

_13. She had disappeared after the birth of her grandson_

_14. She had been in Floresville, Texas, in 1862_

I wanted to know why she had been in Floresville! What had she done there? Apparently she had spent part of her time as a slave in Texas. What had she done there that she hadn't wanted anyone to know? Why hadn't she told anyone her story? Why had she decided to keep her story a secret? And why did nobody know if she had been a wolf?

Maybe Billy knew. Billy Black, our chief. Chiefs were supposed to know all tribal secrets. He just had to know my ancestor's story.

Well, I wouldn't be able to do anything productive, anyway, so I did what I had wanted to do before: I grabbed my keys and drove to the Blacks' house to see whether Billy was there.

Billy was there. He opened the door, but looked a little confused. "Jacob is not home. He's at the beach." I shook my head. "I'm not here for Jacob. I wanted to ask you something. Do you have time for me? I know you're busy with the upcoming Quileute Days, but..." Billy looked even more confused, and led me into the kitchen, where he offered me something to drink. I declined. I needed answers.

"Billy, you know about my great-great-great-grandma Leah Clearwater." Billy nodded and smiled at me. "Of course I do, but your father does, too. Hasn't he already told you everything about her?" "Well, he did, but something's missing, I think." "Then tell me, honey, what is it that you need to know?" I thought a few seconds about the right words, but then I just blurted out:"Has she been one of the wolves?" Billy didn't flinch at all. Of course not. He knew I knew. Dad was such a tattletale. "Well, when she had come back from her time as a slave, the gene was triggered. But we have never heard of female wolves." That didn't mean anything. Kaheleha hadn't heard of female spirits until his wife Clear Well had shown this ability. "You know that her husband had imprinted on her, he was part of the wolf pack back then. The pack consisted only of few wolves, just three, and all of them were Black family members – the chief and his two sons." He looked at me, and I had the strange feeling that he was holding back something. "Billy, please tell me. I need to know everything, and you seem to know something." Billy smiled. "It's impossible to hide things from you. I don't know for certain, but here's something that might help you: She came to my ancestor, her chief, and asked him whether imprints could be broken. My ancestor of course thought that she meant his son and him imprinting on her. But she said she didn't mind that, and that she wanted to belong completely to her husband. She seemed very unhappy when my ancestor told her that it was impossible to break an imprint, so he later proposed to his oldest son that she somehow must have imprinted on somebody during the time that she spent so far away from our land. Unfortunately nobody ever saw her turning, and everyone believes women cannot turn, but that doesn't have to be true. From what I know, Leah Clearwater the Older could really have been a wolf. But that's all." I nodded. "Thank you. That's more than Dad has told me." We were silent for a while. Then I asked:"Do you have any idea what happened to her after she had disappeared the second time?" Billy shook his head. "No, unfortunately not. Maybe she went away to die – many people from our tribe did that." I nodded again. "Okay. Thanks." I walked to the door, but before I left the house, I turned round to ask one last question. "Billy, if a huge wolf was chasing you, what would you do?" Billy grinned. "I'd run for my life. Wolves might be our tribal animal and sacred, but they're dangerous." He winked at me. "See you soon, sweetie."

As he closed the door, I couldn't help but think that Billy seemed to be the only sensible person at the council. He'd do the same thing I'd do: Running. I would not go and get caught by a big grey beast. Not even if it was my ancestor.

At least _some _more information! So an old chief had believed Leah had imprinted on somebody while being a slave. I wondered how it felt to be far away from your imprint. Apparently imprinting was like being in love, only stronger. Being separated from the one one was in love with already hurt pretty bad, but if it was your imprint... That was probably unbearable. The imprinted person would probably be sad all the time. And Dad had told me that Leah the Older had been often sad. That only her husband had been able to make her smile. So maybe Billy's ancestor had been right. Maybe Leah had had to leave her imprint somewhere.

I didn't want to spend the rest of the day thinking about my ancestor, so I decided to go to the beach to visit the surfers and Jacob. It wasn't dark yet, and maybe we could do something together.

I could see some of the surfers out in the ocean, but there were people at the camp, too. I walked to the camp and was greeted by a sneezing Benjamin who was completely covered in a blanket – one could only see his face – and who sat in the entrance of a tent.

"Hello, Leah! Looking for Liev?", he grinned. I smiled. "Not really, but yes." I winked at him. "Well, he's out surfing. They are trying to teach that to your little friend, Jacob. Chrissi and Liev and the rest, I think. Nathalie is... somewhere. But Stella's here, too." As he spoke, the black-haired girl came around the corner. "Hey, Leah! How is your foot?" I smiled and gave her a short hug. "Much better. How are you?" "I'm great. Trying to escape Natty, though. Any idea how to accomplish that?" I thought for a moment. "We could walk to the tidal pools. It's a walk through the woods, and it might already be dark when we come back. But you would be able to escape Bossy Natty." I suddenly remembered that I had promised Jasper to not go back into the woods. Oh well, screw that promise. He probably had already forgotten about that.

Stella beamed. "Wait a second", she said and disappeared in a red tent. A minute later, she re-appeared with a pack of cookies and a bottle of water. "Awesome, let's go." We linked arms and told Ben we were gone, and then we really were gone.

The beach soon disappeared as we entered the forest. Stella was humming. Suddenly she said:"Where were you on Wednesday night when we were bowling? You were suddenly gone. Jacob said you had to go shopping..." She sounded as if she seriously doubted that. I had to grin. Maybe I should just tell her – leaving out the crucial elements about Sam being a wolf and Jasper being a vampire, of course. Ever since Emily, Rachel and Rebecca had all decided to leave me, I'd had no girlfriend to talk to. Talking to Jasper just wasn't the same. He was a man, after all.

"Well, do you want to hear the short or the long version?", I asked, and Stella beamed. "The long one, of course! Details included." I smiled at her. "Okay. I've warned you, right?" Stella nodded and began slowing her pace. And so I began.

I started with Sam's and my first date, how much I had been in love with him. I told her about the sort-of-proposal at the beach, and then about his two-weeks-disappearance, which she found weird. "And he never told you where he had gone to?" I shook my head, although I was pretty sure now that he had turned into a wolf during these two weeks. "That's some strange boyfriend", Stella said, "Continue, please."

And so I did, Told her how he'd come back and how he'd broken up with me shortly after his Senior Prom. How he had told me he couldn't be with me anymore. How he then had started dating my best friend and cousin Emily. How much that had hurt me. Stella handed me a cookie and encouraged me to continue. She really seemed interested. When I told her that he had started dating Emily only a few weeks after the break-up, she exploded:"How could he? Didn't he care about you? It's like somebody bewitched him!" I laughed a little too hysterically. Fortunately she didn't seem to notice. I would have to be more careful. Nobody was supposed to find out what I had found out. "Yeah, I know. Weird, hm? But I began feeling okay again when Harry and Liev decided to smash Sam's car, and I got punished for that, and my two only friends-" "You had only two friends?", Stella asked astonished. "I guess I never was a people person", I said a little shyly, but I had to laugh right after that. "Nah, I don't know. People just don't like me." Stella grinned. "I like you." That made me beam. She really was an awesome girl. I caught myself wishing she would stay here forever.

"Anyway", I continued, "so my two only friends suddenly weren't my friends anymore. It wasn't too bad, to be true – see, one of them, Kayla, she's a real pain in the ass. Like, you know you always have this one ultra-annoying super-girly girl at your school? People think that's a cliché, but truth is, it's not." Stella nodded enthusiastically:"I get along just fine with almost everybody, but we have one girl whose name is Angel. She's definitely not an angel, she's just super-blond and super-annoying." "Pink, too?" "More purple." We both had to laugh, but Stella became serious again right away. "Continue. One of them was not a good friend anyway, and you don't seem to be so sad about the other one." I nodded and said:"Of all non-family people who had thought I had damaged that stuff, Jacob was the only one who truly apologized. He's been my best friend ever since then. We went to see movies, spent Halloween at the beach, celebrated Christmas and New Year together. When I was buying Christmas presents, I met one of the Cullens. They're an ultra-rich family living in Forks, and for some reason, we Quileutes are supposed to hate them. Thing is, I really tried to do that, but this Cullen guy that I met is actually pretty nice. His name is Jasper, and he has become a really good friend. But we can't meet too often, because people here would actually get really angry.

"Anyway, back to Jacob. We redecorated my room, almost kissed, and then I was about to fall in love with him – don't judge me, please. I know he's much younger than me." I looked at Stella. She didn't look judgmental at all. "So what? He can be very childish, as far as I have experienced it. But he's a lot more mature than his two friends with the weird names-" "Quil and Embry", I grinned. Stella nodded. "Exactly. So, anyway, Jacob's really nice. Besides, in a few years there won't be any big difference between you two anymore. I know, eighteen and fifteen is three years, but doesn't thirty-three and thirty sound completely different? See, you grow out of the difference." She smiled. "You said you 'were about to fall for him'. What has changed?" Now I grinned and looked back into the direction of the camp. "_That _changed. Well, Isabella Swan came, that complicated things, too. She's a year younger than me and the daughter of Chief Swan, and Jacob has a huge crush on her. But he went with me to my Junior prom, and we kissed, but we never talked about that. So now I like Liev." Stella smiled. "We're coming nearer to Wednesday..." I nodded. "On Wednesday, I went into the forest and hurt my foot. Sam helped me out of the forest. He offered me to take a shower at his house, and when I got out of the bathroom... well... he kissed me." I exhaled. "And then he stopped, which probably was very good, because I don't know what would have happened otherwise." We broke through the trees and now could see the beautiful tidal pools. "He kissed you?", Stella exploded. I nodded, turning red. "Wow. That's almost immoral! I mean, does he want to break your heart twice? You should have hit him for that. Oh, Leah. So why did you disappear Wednesday night?" "I couldn't tell Jacob because he would be pretty pissed. And I didn't want to tell Liev because I really, really like him and I didn't want him to think that I might be still in love with my ex-boyfriend. So there was only one person I could talk to – Jasper. But since we Quileutes are supposed to hate the Cullens, I had to lie. Hope you're not mad." Stella smiled. "Of course I'm not. But I think you need more friends you can actually talk to. Like this Jasper-guy." She winked at me, and I smiled. Friends I could talk to. Like Jasper. Like Stella. I grinned at her. "That just might be possible – you could stay here, for example." She began laughing, and laughing, we walked back to the beach.

It had already become dark, and the surfers had made a fire. Stella yawned. "I'm so tired." She looked at the camp. "But I don't want to go back there. They're all a little difficult, sometimes." I had an idea. "You could sleep at my place. We could watch a movie, and I'd make dinner." Please, I thought, please say yes. It felt like ages since I had last spoken to a girl. A nice, friendly, dependable girl who actually liked me. Fortunately Stella beamed and nodded. "That's an awesome idea! I'll just go and get my stuff."

She returned five minutes later, carrying a bag. "Let's go!", she beamed, and we linked arms again. We didn't talk for a few minutes, and then I asked:"Do you have a boyfriend?" Stella shook her head. "Boys seem to ignore me on purpose. It's as if I'm invisible to them, but only if it's about me being girlfriend material. Just being friends with me is fine. Well, I'm not too sad about that – I'd rather have no boyfriend than a stupid immature one, and it seems that all boys around me are like that." We reached my house, and I opened the door. "Your surfer friends, too?", Stella raised an eyebrow. "Liev – no offense – and Harry got so drunk last year that they smashed somebody's property. Ben is a sleepy moron who doesn't work if you don't make him. Then there's our player Shaun, and if you fall for him, that's probably the worst thing you can do. I don't want to offend Anna, I really understand her point, but in my opinion, she gets unhappier if she continues pursuing someone who only uses her as his last stand." I smiled as we settled down into the kitchen. "Maybe she just hopes that one day he'll realize that she always has been there and that he needs her. I know I would wait for that." Stella shrugged. "I don't know. I think that's gonna take a long while. Shaun uses his looks well." We giggled as I handed her a glass of iced tea, and she said:"Anyway, Lucas is a rich brat who often doesn't get that there are people who don't have as much money as he has. Don't misunderstand me! They're all my best friends, but absolutely no boyfriend material."

We drank silently for a while, and then we discussed what movie we should watch. We decided for 'Van Helsing' – for some reason, we were both in a vampire+werewolf-mood. At least _those _two creatures didn't exist. I was convinced of that.

That was going to change in the morning.

Stella left early the next morning because she wanted to surf. The morning light was her favorite time of the day. We'd had a nice early breakfast with special Clearwater pancakes, of which she took some with her. We'd had so much fun. The movie had been kind of scary, but we hadn't paid much attention to it because we had talked until four in the morning. She had told me everything about her and her life. She lived in Kingston, upstate New York, and went to a private catholic school. "Not that I was catholic", she had said, "But my parents wanted me to go there, anyway." She had a younger and an older brother, and she liked to draw besides the surfing. She did pretty well in school. Yes, Stella was definitely someone I wanted to keep as a friend.

I just hoped that she wanted me as her frriend, as well.

Stella had just left when my brother entered the kitchen, looking pale and extremely tired. He had come home at about two o'clock in the morning, but not from Abby's house. He had been at Quil's place doing... something. Whatever it was that boys that age were doing. I didn't really want to know. It could only be something stupid.

Seth yawned and sniffed. "It smells like pancakes." He beamed at me. "Do we still have some?" I rolled my eyes. "For my annoying little brother? Never!" Seth growled and looked down. I grinned. "Oh, I'm just kidding. Here you go", I said and handed him the plate with the cinnamon-pancakes. Seth chewed happily for a while. "They're awesome. Thanks, Lee." He had already eaten three pancakes. "Wow. You have developped quite an appetite lately. Are you okay? Abby didn't break up with you, did she?" "No", Seth said with a full mouth, "Why would you think that?" "Because you're eating so much! People say that people with a broken heart eat a lot." Seth rolled his eyes. "People say that about _women_, silly. Now could you please keep it down? I have a headache." That made me suspicious. "A headache?" I looked at him a little closer. Like I had thought before: he looked pale. A little sweaty, too. "Seth, have you drunk?"

I knew my brother. I knew him too well. He looked at me for a second and then looked down immediately on his fourth pancake. That made me angry. A little storm cloud brew inside my chest. Thunder roared in my mind, and I stood up. "Seth Clearwater, tell me!"

Seth ducked and looked up at me, turning completely red. "Please, don't tell Dad." I raised an eyebrow. "What have you done?" Seth got even smaller as he ducked again. He looked really scared now. "Well, I went to Quil yesterday night. Embry was there, too. Quil's parents were gone, and Quil had stolen some bottles of beer from the cellar. Could you please not tell Dad?" I grinned evilly. "Not Mom, too!", Seth choked. I sighed, and then I smiled very friendly. "Oh well. I'm not gonna tell anyone. Your headache is punishment enough. Just try not to show it to Mom and Dad. They're not stupid, you know. They'll realize immediately. Do you want some hot cocoa?" Seth nodded and beamed at me. "You're the best sister in the world!"

I made him a hot cup of cocoa and handed him the cup. Seth yawned. "I want to go back to bed." "Why are you up, anyway?" He shrugged. "Stupid bird in front of the window. I couldn't go back to sleep."

Suddenly Dad entered the kitchen. He looked weird. He was wearing a poncho and had feathers in his hair. He also wore some weird kind of headdress, made of feathers, beads and fur. It was shaped like a wolf's head. I realized it was a modernized form of the Quileute tribal clothes. Seth and I stared.

"What?", Dad asked, "That's my storyteller attire. Why are you staring?" Seth and I looked at each other and almost burst out into laughter. Dad looked really stupid.

He sat down. "Would you please stop staring? Oh, pancakes!" He grabbed some and wolfed them down, and then he looked at us again. "Do you have some time for me, please?" Seth rolled his eyes. "Sure, Dad. What's your problem?"

Dad grinned suddenly. "Oh, I don't really have a problem. I just want to tell you a story. I have to tell this story at the Quileute Days, but I need it to sound convincing. So would you please listen to me?" Seth yawned. "Sure. Which story is it?"

"It's the story of the Third Wife."

I almost dropped my cup. The story of the Third Wife? That was the story Jared had talked about! The one he had said I needed to know to understand everything. This was crucial.

So I listened up as Dad began to speak in his mighty, loud voice that sounded so full of power and authority. It was a voice you just had to listen to, the voice of our ancestors. I could imagine that Leah Clearwater the Older had spoken like that. And now I was supposed to have a voice like that, too? No way. That was never going to happen.

Dad cleared his throat. "Thank you. I shall now tell you the third great story of the Quileute tribe – the story of the Third Wife of Taha Aki!"

Seth yawned again, but I paid more attention than ever before. I was finally about to get my answers. I would finally solve the mystery of the wolves. I would finally know about the trigger for the wolf pack. I would finally know everything.

"The story of Taha Aki and Utlapa was the story of how the magic came to us, but it is not the end of it. This is the story of the third wife's sacrifice.

"Many years after Taha Aki gave up his spirit wolf, when he was an old man, trouble began in the north, with the Makahs." I had to grin. I'd had my own trouble with the Makah Alex. "Several young women of their tribe had disappeared, and they blamed it on the neighboring wolves, who they feared and mistrusted. The wolf-men could still read each other's thoughts while in their wolf forms, just like their ancestors had while in their spirit forms. They knew that none of their number was to blame. Taha Aki tried to pacify the Makah chief, but there was too much fear. Taha Aki did not want to have a war on his hands. He was no longer a warrior to lead his people. He charged his oldest wolf-son, Taha Wi, with finding the true culprit before hostilities began." Taha Wi. That name was hilarious. Taha Wee-Wee. I was glad I was living in the twenty-first century where names like that were impossible.

"Taha Wi led the five other wolves in his pack on a search through the mountains, looking for any evidence of the missing Makahs. They came across something they had never encountered before – a strange, sweet scent in the forest that burned their noses to the point of pain."

I almost choked. My eyes were probably popping out of my skull. A strange, sweet, burning scent? I knew that one – at least I knew a scent I would have described exactly the same way. The scent in the forest when I had wandered there around with Liev.

And then there was something else... something that lingered on the edge of my mind but that I couldn't grasp...

"They did not know what creature would leave such a scent, but they followed it. They found faint traces of human scent, and human blood, along the trail. They were sure this was the enemy they were searching for.

"The journey took them so far north that Taha Wi sent half the pack, the younger ones, back to the harbor to report to Taha Aki.

"Taha Wi and his brothers did not return.

Seth snored. I looked at him; he'd fallen asleep again. But my attention was fully focused on my Dad. I was so curious that I wanted him to speed up. What kind of creature could that have been? Could it have been similar to that sweet-smelling thing in the woods? And I still couldn't remember why I had the feeling of having smelled something similar before...

"The younger brothers searched four their elders, but found only silence. Taha Aki mourned for his sons. He wished to avenge his sons' death, but he was old. He went to the Makah chief in his mourning clothes and told him everything that had happened. The Makah chief believed his grief, and tensions ended between the tribes.

"A year later, two Makah maidens disappeared from their homes on the same night. The Makahs called on the Quileute wolves at once, who found the same sweet stink all through the Makah village. The wolves went on the hunt again.

"Only one came back. He was Yaha Uta, the oldest son of Taha Aki's third wife, and the youngest in the pack. He brought something with him that had never been seen in all the days of the Quileute – a strange, cold, stony corpse that he carried in pieces. All who were of Taha Aki's blood, even those who had never been wolves, could smell the piercing smell of the dead creature. This was the enemy of the Makahs.

"Yaha Uta described what had happened: he and his brothers had found the creature, who looked like a man but who was hard as a granite rock, with the two Makah daughters. One girl was already dead, white and bloodless on the ground. The other was in the creature's arms, his mouth at her throat. She may have been alive when they came upon the hideous scene, but the creature quickly snapped her neck and tossed her lifeless body to the ground when they approached. His white lips were covered in her blood, and his eyes glowed red."

Dad paused to drink some water. I just stared at him. This creature had been drinking the Makah girls' blood.

And the only creatures I could think of that were drinking people's blood were vampires.

A vampire. A sickly sweet-smelling, blood-drinking, red eyed vampire. Could that be the answers to all my questions?

"Yaha Uta described the fierce strength and speed of the creature. One of his brothers quickly became a victim when he underestimated that strength. The creature ripped him apart like a doll. Yaha Uta and his other brother were more wary. They worked together, coming at the creture from the sides, outmaneuvering it. They had to reach the very limits of their wolf strength and speed, something that had never been tested before. The creature was hard as stone and cold as ice. They found that only their teeth could damage it. They began to rip small pieces of the creature apart while it fought them.

"But the creature learned quickly, and soon was matching their maneuvers. It got its hands on Yaha Uta's brother. Yaha Uta found an opening on the creature's throat, and he lunged. His teeth tore the head off the creature, but the hands continued to mangle his brother.

"Yaha Uta ripped the creature into unrecognizable chunks, tearing pieces apart in a desperate attempt to save his brother. He was too late, but, in the end, the creature was destroyed.

"Or so they thought. Yaha Uta laid the reeking remains out to be examined by the elders. One severed hand lay beside a piece of the creature's granite arm. The two pieces touched when the elders poked them with sticks, and the hand reached out towards the arm piece, trying to reassemble itself.

"Horrified, the elders set fire to the remains. A great cloud of choking, vile smoke polluted the air. When there was nothing but ashes, they separated the ashes into many small bags and spread them far and wide – some in the ocean, some in the forest, some in the cliff caverns. Taha Aki wore one bag around his neck, so he would be warned if the creature ever tried to put himself together again.

"They called it the Cold One, the Blood Drinker, and lived in fear that it was not alone. They had only one wolf protector left, young Yaha Uta."

The Cold One. A creature that was cold, strong, rock-like, fast, sweet-smelling and that drank blood. Why did that all sound so familiar? Why couldn't I remember? Self-protection?

"They did not have long to creature had a mate, another blodd drinker, who came to the Quileute seeking revenge.

"The stories say that the Cold Woman was the most beautiful thing human eyes had ever seen. She looked like the goddess of the dawn when she entered the village in the morning; the sun was shining for once, and it glittered off her white skin and lit the golden hair that flowed down to her knees. Her face was magical in its beauty, her eyes black in her white face. Some fell to their knees to worship her."

Why did I suddenly have to think of Rosalie? If one ever filmed our tribal stories, I would definitely pick her for the Cold Woman.

"She asked something in a high, piercing voice, in a language no one had ever heard. The people were dumbfounded, not knowing how to answer her. There was none of Taha Aki's blood among the witnesses but one small boy. He clung to his mother and screamed that the smell was hurting his nose. One of the elders, on his way to council, heard the boy and realized what had come among them. He yelled for the people to run. She killed him first.

"There were twenty witnesses to the Cold Woman's approach. Two survived, only because she grew distracted by the blood, and paused to sate her thirst. They ran to Taha Aki, who sat in counsel with the other elders, his sons, and his third wife.

"Yaha Uta transformed into his spirit wolf as soon as he heard the news. He went to destroy the blood drinker alone. Taha Aki, his third wife, his sons, and his elders followed behind him.

"At first they could not find the creature, only the evidence of her attack. Bodies lay broken, a few drained of blood, strewn across the road where she's appeared. Then they heard the screams and hurried to the harbor.

"A handful of the Quileutes had run to the ships for refuge. She swam after them like a shark, and broke the bow of their boat with her incredible strength. When the ship sank, she caught those trying to swim away and broke them, too.

"She saw the great wolf on the shore, and she forgot the fleeing swimmers. She swam so fast she was a blur and came, dripping and glorious, to stand before Yaha Uta. She pointed at him with one white finger and aksed another incomprehensible question. Yaha Uta waited.

"It was a close fight. She was not the warrior her mate had been. But Yaha Uta was alone – there was no one to distract her fury from him.

"When Yaha Uta lost, Taha Aki screamed in defiance. He limped forward and shifled into an ancient, white-muzzled wolf. The wolf was old, but this was Taha Aki the Spirit Man, and his rage made him strong. The fight began again.

"Taha Aki's third wife had just seen her son die before her. Now her husband fought, and she had no hope that he could win. She's heard every word the witnesses to the slaughter had told the council. She'd heard the story of Yaha Uta's first victory, and knew that his brother's diversion had saved him.

"The third wife grabbed a knife from the belt of one of the sons who stood beside her. They were all young sons, not yet men, and she knew they would die when their father failed.

"The third wife ran towards the Cold Woman with the dagger raised high. The Cold Woman smiled, barely distracted from her fight with the old wolf. She had no fear of the weak human woman or the knife that would not even scratch her skin, and she was about to deliver the death blow to Taha Aki.

"And then the third wife did something the Cold Woman did not expect. She fell to her knees at the blood drinker's feet and plunged the knife into her own heart.

"Blood spurred through the third wife's fingers and splashed against the Cold Woman. The blood drinker could not resist the lure of the fresh blood leaving the third wife's body. Instinctively, she turned to the dying woman, for a second entirely consumed by thirst.

"Taha Aki's teeth closed around her neck.

"That was not the end of the fight, but Taha Aki was not alone now. Watching their mother die, two young sons felt such rage that they sprang forth as their spirit wolves, though they were not yet men. With their father, they finished the creature.

"Taha Aki never rejoined the tribe. He never changed back to a man again. He lay for one day beside the body of the third wife, growling whenever anyone tried to touch her, and then he went into the forest and never returned.

"Trouble with the cold ones was rare from that time on. Taha Aki's sons guarded the tribe until their sons were old enough to take their places. There were never more than three wolves at a time. It was enough. Occasionally a blood drinker would come through these lands, but they were taken by surprise, not expecting the wolves. Sometimes a wolf would die, but never they were decimated again like that first time. They'd learned how to fight the cold ones, and they passed the knowledge on, wolf mind to wolf mind, spirit to spirit, father to son.

"Times passed, and the descendants of Taha Aki no longer became wolves when they reached manhood. Only in a great while, if a cold one was near, would the wolves return."

Dad ended and took a deep breath. "Well, that's the story. While I'm telling this, some members of our tribe will perform a dance. Can I tell it this way?" Seth yawned loudly as he woke up. "Great bedtime story!", he said, "I'm going back to bed." He left the kitchen at a very slow pace. "What's with him?", Dad asked. "Oh, nothing", I answered, "He just came home late. Your storytelling is awesome, Dad. I'll never be as good as you are." Dad turned slightly red. "Thank you, honey. But of course you will. Maybe even better." He winked at me and stood up to make himself a sandwich. "Do you want one, too?" I realized I was hungry again, and so I nodded. Dad put two toasts on a plate and got the jar with the peanut butter out of the fridge. "Not with peanut butter, Daddy", I said and rolled my eyes. Dad turned red again. "Oh right, I'm sorry. Somehow I keep forgetting you're allergic to that stuff." I shrugged. "Maybe because I haven't always been."

My thoughts returned to the story. So it were the cold ones that triggered the wolf gene. I wondered if Dad knew what he had just told me.

The cold ones.

Vampires.

I thought back to the movie I had watched with Stella. In 'Van Helsing', Dracula had drunk human blood and had been incredibly strong. He could also fly and turn into a bat. He's had three mates and had tried to reproduce with them. Vampire eggs.

The vampires of our tribal story were different. They were pale and extremely beautiful. They were very strong and very fast. Of course they drank human blood. But they only had one mate. And they smelled so sweet that it burnt the Quileutes' noses.

The scent in the wood had been exactly like that. Could it have been a vampire? Could this red blurr I had seen be the trigger for Sam, Jared and Paul?

I was feeling weird. There was something different, so close on the edge of my mind... But no matter how hard I thought about it, I just couldn't think of this relevant information. It was frustrating.

I jumped when Dad put a plate with raspberry jam sandwiches in front of me. "Are you okay, sweetie?" I nodded. "What did Old Quil tell you about your dream?", he asked. "He said I should let the wolf catch me." I snorted. Dad laughed. "It's just a dream, honey. I wouldn't worry too much about it." We ate in silence for a while, and then Dad cleared his throat. "Do you want to hear the last important story for our tribe? I'm pretty sure you already know it, but it seems you have forgotten about it. It's the end of the story about the cold ones." I looked up and nodded. Now I was _really _curious.

"The cold ones always came in ones and twos, and the pack stayed small. But then a bigger coven came, and our grandfathers prepared to fight them off. But the leader spoke to Ephraim Black as if he were a man, and promised not to harm the Quileutes. His strange yellow eyes gave some proof to his claim that they were not the same as other blood drinkers. They claimed that they didn't hunt humans. They said they hunted animals instead. The wolves were outnumbered; there was no need for the cold ones to offer a treaty when they could have won the fight. Ephraim accepted. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces. They have returned in 2003, and there are two more of them, a male and a female. They've stayed true to their side, though their presence does tend to draw in others." I wondered what he meant with that. "They are the reason the wolf pack has returned."

Dad smiled at me, but he had a stern look in his eyes. Then he looked at his watch. "Oh, shoot, I have to go to Billy. We have to talk about the Quileute Days again." He kissed my forehead and walked out of the kitchen.

I emptied my cup of tea. So it hadn't been that red blurry thing that had triggered the new wolf pack around Sam. The trigger had been a group of vampires that drank animal blood and had golden eyes.

Golden eyes?

Oh.

Damn.

How could I have missed _that_?

**The two legends are taken from _Eclipse, _chapter _Legends._**


	30. The Truth

**I've seen that some authors answer their reviews. I find that more than polite, since it's you readers who keep us writing, and so I've decided to do that, too. **

**Obsethed1: Great nickname, by the way. And you're right, it's gonna take a while until we're in New Moon. Sorry to keep you waiting :) But the summer holidays took more time than I had expected! Besides that, I think you're right. Abby should punish Seth for drinking!**

**Capp'n: Sorry, you have to wait a little longer. But not as long as in the books ;)**

**darkshadowarchfiend: Thank you for your amazing review! I'm glad that my story made you like Jasper ;) I hope you continue reading (and liking) my story.**

**BabeRuthless1985: And here comes your answer...**

The Truth

I jumped up and stormed into my room to get dressed. Unfortunately the only clothes that weren't in the washing machine at the moment were the ones I had gotten from Alice.

I washed my hair, but didn't even take my time to blow-dry it. I just tied it into a wet pony-tail, put on a pair of random shoes and hurried out of the house and to my car.

It just couldn't be. But if Sam could be a wolf, then why shouldn't it be possible?

The trigger. I had found the trigger. But I had decided: against the trigger's expectations, I would _not _run away screaming.

Everything had come back to me; the memory that had lingered on the edge of my mind had returned with such power that I couldn't help but laugh about my stupidity.

It had been last year's winter. I had gone to Forks with Jacob to get my family's groceries, and Jake had bought what Billy and he had needed. And there they had walked...

"_And they smell strange", Jacob whispered on one of these occasions. I nodded. They really smelled strange. It was a sweet scent that would probably have been pleasant, but it was way too strong for that. It was like a really sweet perfume that burnt the nose. And my nose really hurt._

Or, with Dad's words:"A strange, sweet scent that burned our noses to the point of pain."

Sweet, burning scent: Checked!

But that was not the only evidence that I had, and it all came back to me at once.

_It was the blond Cullen boy. He had bright golden eyes today, but I couldn't help remember those black eyes I had seen a week ago. Today, he looked much nicer. _

Golden eyes: Checked!

_He disappeared again, and seconds later he returned with a small raspberry-decorated cake. "Have you flown?", I asked. He had been so fast. "No", he smiled, "But I run very well. I hope you like this cake."_

_He kissed my hand. It was a very cold, creepy kiss, but I felt excited, anyway. Stupid manners. Were still working today. Jasper smirked, and suddenly, he was gone._

Being fast: Checked!

_I hobbled behind him, but I seemed to be too slow for him. He turned round and rolled his eyes. "Oh, for God's sake, let me carry you to your car." He swooped me up so that I was sitting on his arm. That felt weird._

"_You're such a chauvinist", I complained and tried to take one of the bags away from him. "I am not", he insisted, "I am just polite." And with that, he took four of the bags, leaving me with only one that I could carry, and walked in front of me._

Being strong: Checked!

All the stories' vampires' characteristics applied to Jasper and his family. And all of them were awfully pale, too. So pale that it couldn't be healthy. White, I would describe their skin, completely white. Whiter than pale-faces. Pale-faces looked more like peaches. But this family... they were as white as corpses.

That was creepy.

What else had been the legend's characteristics of a vampire. Right, they were cold and rock-hard. And they were cold. When Jasper had kissed my hand, it had been really cold. Normal people weren't that cold.

And hadn't I described his chest as rock-hard, too? When I had bumped into him after my date with Makah-Alex? Yes, these two things applied to him, and to the rest of his family probably as well.

My car stood now in front of their mansion, but I wasn't sure whether I really should go in. Everything fitted – it was almost unbelievable that I hadn't noticed all that right at the beginning of Dad's story. I supposed it really had been self-protection. After all, I had only recently found out that our men could turn into wolves – and now I should just be okay with the idea that...

The Cullens were vampires.

Should I just turn around, drive back to the rez, delete Jasper's number and forget about him? Hate him, even? But then I wouldn't be better than those stupid tourists who came to our reservation, thinking they knew everything about a culture they knew nothing about, just assuming and interpreting everything.

No, I would have to form my own opinion.

My hand twitched to open the door, but I stopped. There was a difference between us Quileutes and the vampires. Vampires were dangerous. _Really _dangerous.

But I had known that right from the beginning. Not only had I felt that he was dangerous, he'd told me himself. I had ignored that. I should just continue ignoring it. Apparently Isabella-

Isabella Swan! Did she know? After all, she was going out with stupid Edward! She should know. If Jasper had warned me without being anything even close to a boyfriend, then Edward surely had warned Isabella. And if _she _could go into a house full of vampires, then I could do that, too. Definitely. I would show no fear.

Resolutely I stepped out of my car and walked straight to the door. While ringing the bell I thought about how to bring up the topic. How should I let Jasper know that I knew he was a vampire?

In any other situation I would have tried to find a reasonable explanation for our legends. Who wouldn't? The last thing one would assume was that there was something like vampire sin our world.

But I had already had to accept that Quileute men could turn into wolves. It would be foolish to put any new story aside.

The door was opened by the doctor, Mr. Cullen. "Oh, hello, Leah. I hope your foor is okay?" My foot? What foot? Oh right, that foot. I hadn't thought about it anymore. "Yes, thank you, everything is fine." I smiled, and hoped my smile didn't seem forced. "Dr. Cullen, Sir, is Jasper there? I mean, can I talk to him?", I asked, trying not to sound hectical. "Is it urgent? Has something happened?" I shook my head. "No, no, all's well. I'd just like to talk to him." "I don't know if he has gone with Alice to buy a new carpet for our living room. Let me go look for him. But please come in before it starts to rain, dear. Just wait a minute."

With that, he walked upstairs. I looked around again. There were no hints that these people were vampires. But what hint had I expected? Coffins? Bats? Shelves filled with bottles of blood? An autograph by Dracula?

Dr. Cullen came downstairs again. "He is in his room. You can go upstairs now. He apologizes for not coming downstairs, but he had to put on some more appropriate clothes." He smiled warmly, and I nodded a friendly nod and walked upstairs to Jasper's room.

I knocked at the door, and a loud "Yeah!" came from inside. I entered tha room and carefully closed the door. Trapped with a vampire. Better than any adventure vacation.

Jasper stood in front of his desk, wearing bluejeans and a grey pullover and jacket. "Grey suits you, Major", I smiled. Jasper smiled widely and pulled me into a gentle hug.

Something was wrong with my brain. Wrong with me. Here I stood, hugging a blood-sucking vampire and not feeling the least bit afraid. Instead, I felt home. Safe.

"How are you?", Jasper asked and led me to his armchair so I could sit down. "Can you stand all day?", I asked without thinking. He nodded. "All day and all night. I never get tired."

never-

Wait. I didn't need that list anymore. I knew what he was. I had found out his secret.

"Isn't that sad?", I asked, "I mean, do you miss sleeping?" He nodded. "It's so beautiful to be able to drift off, to dream, to refresh, to relax. I can't even do that." I thought for a moment. "But if you're able to feel what I feel, shouldn't you feel drousy when I feel tired?" He grinned. "We could try that out one day. If you don't run away screaming, that is." I rolled my eyes. That was the comment I had needed. I took a deep breath.

And then I decided that I needed more time. "Do you have a cup of tea for me?", I asked, and Jasper nodded. "Sure. Follow me into the kitchen then." He held out a cold hand to me, and I took it.

I felt as if a lightning bolt had hit me. For a second, I saw a different man standing in front of me. It wasn't Jasper – and it was Jasper at the same time. His face wasn't pale anymore, he looked as if he had sunburn on his cheeks. His eyes were a deep green, and he wore a hat and a grey jacket.

The vision disappeared as fast as it had come, and the pale vampire was back. He stared at me with an astonished expression on his face, but before I could ask him what was wrong, it was gone. He shook his head as if to shake off a memory and led me out of the room. I began to realize that this man was more than just a vampire. This man had had a life, one he had lived long ago, and sometimes, this past still haunted him.

Should I really tell him that I knew? Maybe it hurt him much more to realize again that he lived forever while his darling Lily was dead and buried.

I sat down in the kitchen while Jasper was preparing the tea. He put some cookies onto the kitchen table. "Help yourself, please." He smiled. I took a cookie without eating it and watched Jasper infusing the tea. The color of the tea was a deep red, and when Jasper took two cups out of the kitchen shelves, filled them with the red liquid, put one cup in front of me and took a gulp out of the other cup, I suddenly knew how to approach the difficult subject of him being a vampire.

"Why are you nervous?", Jasper asked, "Do you have something on your mind?" I shook my head, but then I decided differently and nodded. "I have a question." I took a deep breath. Jasper looked expectantly. I started my careful attack. "Well... you've said that you don't eat. But here you are, drinking tea. So..." Jasper raised an eyebrow and smiled. "So what?" "I wonder if you drink that tea because it's red... you know, because blood is red, too, and you only like to drink things that remind you of it. Blood, I mean."

Clashing the cup fell onto the ground. A deep sound emerged from Jasper's throat – it sounded like a growl. His whole posture looked as if he wanted to attack me. But I just continued looking at him with questioning eyes.

He exhaled and relaxed. Then he picked the cup up and threw the shards into the trash. "Well", he said with a trembling voice, "Yes. Yes, that's it. It reminds us of our diet, and because we miss normal food and want to seem normal on some occasions, we drink red tea. Is that a good answer?" I nodded and smiled. Jasper took a deep breath – although he didn't need it – and sat down opposite to me. "How have you found out?" "Dad told me. I mean, he didn't say, oh, hey, sweetheart, by the way, the Cullens are vampires-", Jasper flinched at that word, "but he told me one of our tribal legends. The story about the cold ones and the third wife of our most famous chief. Then he told me the story of Ephraim Black and the strange yellow-eyed. And he told me some of the characteristics of a vampire, and I compared it to you and your family. It all fitted." "And you just believed some tribal legends?", Jasper asked astonished. "That's actually a good question. Normally, I wouldn't. And I wouldn't have if I hadn't found out one legend really was true. I told you, remember?" Jasper nodded. "The one about the giant wolves, right?" "Exactly. The legends tell us some of our men can turn into wolves whenever vampires are nearby. And on prom I saw one of our boys turn. So ever since then I have known that our legends are true. And when Dad told me about the cold ones, it became pretty obvious after thinking for a while that you actually are a... vampire." I grinned at him. Jasper just shook his head in amazement. "So you have found out. Amazing. Is that why you are here?" I nodded. "To show you that I'm not going to run away screaming." Jasper just raised an eyebrow. "But will you still say so if I tell you that I, in fact, am the one who's not as accustomed to animal blood as my siblings? I crave for human blood", and while saying that, his face wore suddenly a frightening, hungry expression, "and I have difficulties to resist." He licked his lips, and I was pretty sure I had seen drops of saliva – or was it venom? - in a corner of his mouth. And I asked myself why I still wasn't running.

I answered myself a second after this thought.

"Still not scared", I said, and it was the truth.

Why, that remained a secret even to me. I wasn't lying. It would be stupid to lie to an empath. I really didn't feel scared. I was interested in his story. And I was... _happy_?

"Why are you happy?", Jasper asked confused. I shrugged. "I don't know. I feel like something has been clarified." I held my hand out to him. "Hello, Jasper, I'm Leah." Even more confused, he took my hand and shook it. "It's a... pleasure to meet you?" He grinned nervously.

We were silent for a while. I drank my tea and watched Jasper's eyes move around the room. Finally I asked:"So you've been bitten in the Civil War, right?" His eyes finally rested on me, and he nodded. "Which means you're about 160 years old." He nodded again. I exhaled. "That's old." Jasper raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Yeah, it is." "Are the other ones as old as you are?" He shook his head. "No, only Carlisle is older than rest is more than fifty years younger." "Ah." We were silent again.

"How are things between you and Jacob?", he asked. "Well, he's my best friend." I showed him the bracelet Jake had given me on Valentine's Day. "See? Best friends forever, says this bracelet here." Jasper looked a little shocked. "Oh, you poor thing." "What?" His comment made me angry. Was he pitying me? Grrrr... and suddenly I was calm.

I growled at him. "Stupid empath. Do all vampires have some weird power like you?" Jasper sighed. "I am still amazed that you can pronounce the word 'vampire' without feeling weirded out or even scared. And now you are even curious about us! Leah, you're a strange girl." "Could you just answer my question?" He sighed again. "Not a real power, not all of them. It's just that our most extraordinary ability of our human life becomes increased when we are turned into vampires." I nodded, only half comprehending. "That means when you were human, you could read emotions?" Jasper thought for a moment. "Sort of, yes. But not the way I can do that now. It was more like intuition back then. Nowadays it feels like a real ability that I can use." I nodded again and emptied my cup. We fell silent again.

Suddenly I realized that his eyes were pitch-black. "Does that mean you're hungry?", I asked. "Does what mean I'm hungry?", he asked back, confused. "Your eyes." "Oh." He nodded. "Yes. I have to go hunting today. I'm just waiting for Alice." "Can't you go without her?" Jasper chuckled. "Sure I can, but I don't want to. I always feel a little lost when she's not around." "Like Sam and Emily", I groaned, and Jasper laughed.

I was about to laugh with him when suddenly another realization hit me.

The Cullens were vampires.

The vampires were the trigger for our wolf pack.

Sam was a wolf.

Because he was a wolf, he had imprinted on my cousin.

Because of the imprint, he had had to break up with me.

The Cullens were responsible for my broken heart.

"Leah?", Jasper asked, "Is something wrong?" I looked at him, and I could feel tears filling my eyes. My hurt look frightened Jasper. "Are you alright, darlin'?" I choked, trying to keep myself from crying. Jasper looked as if he wanted to run over to me, but didn't dare to do so. Good.

I stood up. "I need some time to think. I'm gonna go now. I'm sorry." I stood up and saw that Jasper looked worried. "What have I said? Is it about hunting? Are you scared? It's okay if you are scared, please, just tell me what's wr-" "I'M NOT SCARED!", I exploded.

The bronze hair of one of Jasper's brothers came into view, and then a pale boy walked into the kitchen. That could only be Edward, Isabella's boyfriend. "Is everything okay in here?", he asked. Jasper shrugged. "I don't think it's any of your business", I snapped at him. Edward looked at Jasper. "She's angry because she thinks it's our fault that her boyfriend left her." I stared at him. How could he know that? "Edward reads minds", Jasper explained and shook his head as if to show Edward that he had just made a mistake. Which he had.

I walked towards him and poked my finger in his chest. "Listen, leech, my mind is not an open book in which you can just read for pleasure, understood? If I say it's none of your business, then it IS none of your business. And if you can't stop reading minds, then be at least fair and don't tell it the world!" Edward sighed. "I just explained Jasper why you are so angry suddenly. Don't you think it's fair if he knows why you are so pissed suddenly?" "I DECIDE WAT'S FAIR AND WHAT'S NOT, BECAUSE THIS IS MY FUCKING LIFE!" This Edward was really getting on my nerves. I could hear Jasper chuckling as Edward backed away. "I told you she's very extraordinary", he said, and he sounded a little proud. I turned round to him. "Well, now you know. I'm angry because it's your fault Sam turned into a wolf, and because he was a wolf, he imprinted on my cousin and left me. So it's your fault that my heart broke. Are you satisfied now? Can I go?"

I stormed past Edward to the door. When I was about to open it, I heard Jasper saying:"Thank you Edward. That was really helpful." His voice was thick with irony, and then he suddenly stood in front of me. Fortunately I could keep myself from shrieking and so I just glared at him. "What?" "Leah, I know that you are angry. Please, take your time to think. Just call me when you have decided about my family, okay?" I nodded and walked out of the house and to my car, not even looking back to the vampire who was looking after me.

Shaking with anger and sadness, I drove faster than usually, trying to escape as fast as possible from the Cullens' mansion.

I was so angry. It was absolutely depressing to think about what would have been if the Cullens hadn't turned up. Sam would have stayed mine. Maybe not forever, but maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much. Emily would have still been like a sister to me. Jacob and I would have never become friends.

Damn! Why was I thinking about that now? I didn't want to be angry, but I couldn't help it. The Cullens' appearance had made me unhappy, and I didn't need any more unhappiness.

You are not unhappy, a voice whispered inside of me, you have Jacob, and Liev, and Quil, and Embry...

And I realized that the voice was right. There were lots of positive things that had happened in the last year. Jacob had become my best friend. I had started working at the _Lonesome Creek Store_. I had redecorated my room, had befriended Jasper and Alice and had gotten rid of a false friend (Kayla). I had gotten to know the surfers and had made two new friends, Stella and Liev.

So maybe Sam breaking up with me hadn't been _soooo _bad. Maybe, in the end, we wouldn't have fitted together. Maybe Jasper had not been right. Maybe I had _not _been the perfect match for Sam – wolf or not. Maybe I would have to wait for someone else.

In any case, fighting with Jasper because of a lost love was more than stupid. It wasn't his fault, after all. Sure, vampires were the trigger for our wolf pack, but I couldn't hold them responsible for that. They hadn't decided to become vampires, which meant in return that they weren't responsible for what their appearance affected – unless they provoked it, maybe. But they hadn't wanted that the wolf pack appeared. I was pretty sure that most of them didn't even know that them being here made the pack be here, too. Until I had told Jasper, he hadn't even heard of imprinting.

No, he wasn't the one I should be angry with.

I wanted to call him to apologize when I saw Liev standing in front of my house. I packed my cell away and parked my car, then walked towards the handsome surfer. The sun was shining just a little, and it didn't rain for once.

"Hey, Liev!", I shouted before he could walk off into the opposite direction. Liev turned round, and his face lit up. "Hello, Leah! Nice to see you! I'm glad you came by, I wanted to ask you something." I reached him and gave him a hug. Jasper would have to wait now. "What is it?" "The Quileute Days are this weekend, right?" I nodded. Live took a deep breath. "Would you like to go there with me? As a... date?"

My smile was probably brighter than the African sun when I nodded. A real date with someone I really liked. I couldn't wait for it. "Which one of the three days?", I asked. He shrugged. "Actually, I thought... all three? We could meet on Friday, and then, if we want to, on the next days as well." I nodded enthusiastically. "That's an awesome idea. Say... just get me at six-thirty, okay?" "Sure!" He smiled at me. I thought about asking him whether he wanted to join me for lunch when he said:"Well, gotta go now, I promised Ben to go surfing with him. See you Friday!" He hugged me, and then he was gone.

I was still beaming when I entered the house, but then my bad conscience came back. Poor Jasper. He still thought I was angry.

I looked around the house and sighed. Nothing, nothing at all told a visitor that in this reservation, there was a pack of men who could turn into wolves. And nothing told a visitor that there were real _vampires _around.

Vampires. Blood-drinkers. The more I thought of it, the creepier it was. But I would not run away. Jasper was too good of a friend now.

No, I couldn't be angry with the Cullens. The only ones I was really angry with were Sam and Emily. Especially with Sam. For not trying to break the imprint. For being happy with Emily. For confusing me by kissing me.

And imprinting, I realized, hadn't started because of vampires. The legend had stated that the Third Wife had been Taha Aki's soulmate, and he had found her long before the first cold one appeared at our harbor.

I called Jasper.

"Hello, Leah", he answered immediately, "I am so glad that you called, I was worrying about you. Are you still angry? Because it would be okay if you were, I am the last one to forbid a lady to be angry with me, especially if she has such a good reason as you have. And I could understand if you-" "Gosh, Jasper, stop talking. I'm not mad anymore. I overreacted, I am sorry. It wasn't your fault that Sam imprinted." "Yes it was." I rolled my eyes. "Well, technically yes, but the legends tell us that imprinting happened long before the vampires' appearance. So it's my tribe's fault. And I won't lose a friend over a love that is lost forever." "I am glad about that", Jasper said, and he sounded relieved, "I do not want to lose you, Ma'am." I grinned. It was rather charming how he talked to me. "Anyway", Jasper continued, "I have to go hunting now. I'm sorry I can't talk longer." I suddenly shivered. "Hunting, as in-" "Yes. My eyes are all black, which means I'm thirsty, as you know." I still shivered, but told myself to stop. I was pretty sure he was testing me right now. "If you're trying to scare me", I said, "It's not working!" Jasper chuckled. "You can be as scared as you want to, darlin', as long as you stay my friend. See you soon, hopefully." "Bye, Jasper!" He hung up.

I walked into my room and laid down on my bed for some rest. I felt exhausted. Finding out one of your best friends was a vampire wasn't really refreshing.

I fell asleep almost immediately – this time a calm, dreamless sleep with no wolves. Thank the gods for that.


	31. Quileute Days

**Thank you for all the great reviews! Sometimes I can't believe that I have such awesome readers. This time I can't answer your questions, though, because that would give away too much. So... sorry about that :) Anyway, please enjoy the next chapter. **

Quileute Days

On Friday, I stood helplessly in front of my closet, trying to find something to wear. Dad had made me put feathers in my hair to make me look like... well, whatever. A Quileute Indian. Something like that. "Like a storyteller's apprentice", he had said. I had told him that the tourists didn't even know what a storyteller was and that this was all only nonsense so we could earn some money. That had made Dad angry, because in his opinion, we celebrated Quileute Days so our traditions would be kept alive and the younger ones of our tribe would learn about that. This again pissed me off, for I thought this could be achieved by other methods than a huge tourist-trapping festival. Dad had sighed loudly, had said that I didn't understand and that he would leave now for the festival. He would expect me there, and I should be prepared for real problems if I didn't turn up. I stuck my tongue out at him and had told him that of course I would come, but because I was meeting friends. Dad had sighed again and had then left.

In any case, I didn't know what to wear. It didn't rain, but the sky was gray. I had already decided to wear the blue converse sneakers, but I couldn't wear only shoes. After a while, I decided for a pair of jeans that had originally belonged to Rosalie, as well as a yellow t-shirt that Alice had given me. I looked okay, but the feathers in my hair made me look like a chicken. It was hilarious. I hoped Liev wouldn't start laughing.

He didn't laugh. He only beamed when I walked towards him and said:"You look beautiful." I smiled sheepishly and held my hand out for him to take. Together we walked towards the festival. Music could be heard. "There are many tourists", Liev told me, "there's no free parking spot left at the Lonesome Creek Store." I groaned. "That means a crowd. Be prepared."

And really: In the middle of our village there was a huge crowd of mostly pale-faces, mixed with members of our tribe. "So, what is it that we can do here?", Liev asked, holding on tight to my hand as we dived into the crowd. "Well, there's food, and storytelling, tribal dances, fireworks and a feast to honor our dead chiefs. Of course not all today. Today is just food and arts and craft. Our ancestors made special baskets, for example, you can buy them everywhere here." Liev grinned. "That sound like fun. I wanna look everywhere!" And he drew me through the crowd.

"Tell me", Liev said as he examined a booth that sold fried fish, "What's so special about your tribe? How do you differ from other tribes?" I said hi to the seller, my English teacher, before I answered. "Well, our ancestor is the wolf. We speak a language that has no living relative. The tribe that spoke our sister language was killed by the famous Chief Seattle in the eighteen-sixties. And that's it. Our traditions might be similar to one and differ from another tribe. You just have to watch."

And Liev watched. He really seemed interested, asking me about this and that, looking at every single stall and booth. And he never let go of my hand.

We came by a booth that sold dream catchers. "Is this something all Native Americans do?, Liev asked, looking at a really well-made dream catcher. "It has been adopted, yes. But it has its origin in the Ojibwa Nation." "And why is this one so much more expensive than the ones at the store?" I smiled. "Isn't that obvious? These ones are hand-made - for example, do you see the one with the white feathers?" Liev nodded. "I saw Mom making this in the evenings. The ones at the store are made in a factory in Seattle." "Oh, I see. Tell me, how come you know so much? About your culture, I mean." I grinned. "We learn about all that in school. Besides, Dad talks a lot. I wonder where he is. If you see a fat moron with gray hair and feathers, tell me please." Liev grinned, and we continued walking around.

I saw Seth and Abby and called out for them. They waited, Abby smiling, Seth moaning. "Hey, little brother", I grinned, "This is Liev." They shook hands. Seth stopped moaning. "Are you my sister's new boyfriend?", he asked in a serious tone.

I tried to kill my brother with my deadly gaze, while Liev was turning red. "Ehm... well... I... Leah, help me out." I shrugged and smiled. "Maybe he is, Seth." Seth grinned. "Okay then. How are you, Liev?" I tuned them out and turned to Abby. "So, how are you?" She was still smiling. "I'm feeling great. I love the Quileute Days." We were silent for a while while my brother talked Liev's ear off. How embarrassing.

"Leah, can I ask you something?", Abby began. I smiled. "Sure." "When Kim said we should all go into a hut together in Canada, did she really mean that? Because I know she was upset and..." This girl was so cute! I started to like her even more. I just hoped Seth would never have to break her heart. And more important: I hoped she would never break my brother's heart. For her own sake. "I don't know if she still wants that, I can't imagine she would pick me over Kayla-" Abby looked disgusted. "Stop thinking that. You are awesome." I turned slightly red. Abby really was too cute. "In any case", I continued, "you and me can definitely go into a hut if you want to." I watched her beaming at me. "Really? Thanks! You're the best!"

"Sis, you should have told me about Liev", Seth said to me, smiling broardly. "I mean, if he's your boyfriend, I have to check him out. If he's okay for you." "And? Am I?", Liev asked. Seth looked at him for a minute or so. Then he said:"Yeah, I guess you're okay. For now." And with that, my little brother took Abby's hand and disappeared behind a group of pale-faces.

"I like him", Liev smiled and took my hand, "Where are we going next?"

The rest of the evening was very nice. We bought food and admired my tribe's artwork. I carefully avoided the booth of the tribal council. Not because of Dad, but because I knew the wolf pack would be there, too. And I didn't want to meet Sam after we had kissed.

Liev brought me home at almost midnight. "Thanks for the nice evening", I smiled. He grinned. "No, thank _you_. I had a great time. Do you want to meet me again tomorrow?" I nodded. "Yeah, of course. How about one o'clock?" He smiled. "I'll be there."

We were both silent and just looked at each other. I made a step forward, and then his lips were already on mine. I leaned myself into the kiss and slung my arms around his neck while Liev held my back.

We broke apart, both turning red and smiling embarrassed at each other. Liev scratched his head and examined the ground. "Well, see you tomorrow then." I nodded. "Yeah. Looking forward to it." He winked at me and walked away.

When I came downstairs the next morning, Dad had his costume on and wore feathers in his hair. As soon as I entered the kitchen, my little brother, who until then had eaten something that looked like a burnt pancake, crept out of the room, and a minute later, the entrance door was being closed.

Upon that noise, Dad turned round and threw me an evil look. "What's up?", I asked. I had experienced Dad only once before like that. When I had told him about Sam... three years ago.

"How can you not tell me?", Dad exploded. "Tell you what?", I asked innocently. "That you have a boyfriend!" "Oh... that." Damn. Who could have... Seth. My little brother was so going to die.

It wasn't that Dad was very strict or anything. He just liked to know. And approve.

"Who is it?", he asked menacingly. Oh, so Seth hadn't told him that. "One of the surfers." Should he think of that what he wanted.

"My daughter is not going out with a pale-face!" And I had thought I knew my dad. Why was he so pissed? "Yes, I am. What's so bad about that?" "Well, I - I", he took a deep breath, "I don't have to answer to you! You should have introduced him first!" I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure, like I did with Sam, or what? Are you crazy? You gave Sammy a really hard time, and I won't let you embarrass me in front of someone who doesn't know you!" Now Dad looked hurt. "Embarrass you? I don't embarrass you! I'm just a worried father!" "No, you're usually neither strict nor worried! Why are you forbidding me to go out with a pale-face? I don't get it. Sam wasn't better. We're not better!" Dad sat down and exhaled loudly. "Of course we're not. I just- just don't want you to go out with anyone." I moaned. "Dad! You don't mean that! Let me introduce him to you, and you'll see he's totally great!" Dad raised an eyebrow. "We'll see about that. I have to go now. See you later." He emptied his cup of coffee and walked out of the kitchen.

I heard how Mom kissed him good-bye. Then she came into the kitchen with a wary look on her face. "I've heard you and Harry fighting", she stated. I shrugged. "Yeah. Seth told Dad that I have a boyfriend." Mom raised an eyebrow. "Do you?" I shrugged. "Well... sort of. We've kissed yesterday, and Dad's making a fuss about it. I don't get it. He said he doesn't want me to date anyone. Anyone! What have I done to deserve that? I'm not pregnant, I'm not going to die, and I'm not going to commit myself to someone forever so soon again. What's his problem?" Mom smiled sadly. "Oh, honey. How can I explain that... Oh, my dear little baby girl..." She hugged and kissed me. "Mom", I growled, "Stop that." "Sorry." She sat down opposite to me. "See, your father is scared. He remembers how you were after Sam had broken up with you. He is really worried that this will happen again because back then, he wasn't able to help you." Right. My 'depression', as they had called it. That hadn't felt nice. I didn't want to go back to that, too. "He's rather have you date nobody than seeing you so broken again. He's just worried, sweetie. He's afraid that a second time will do more damage." Mom smiled at me and petted my hand. "But don't you worry, honey, just introduce the boy to your father. If he sees how happy you are, he won't object anymore. After all, he only wants you to be happy, too." I smiled and rolled my eyes. "Still, it's stupid. But thanks, Mom. I was worried Dad might have gone crazy. I'm gonna get ready." "You can bring him to dinner anytime you want", Mom called after me. I turned round. "I don't think I'm at that point already. But thank you. Bye!"

I met Liev at one o'clock at our porch and kissed him to say hello. This time, we only smiled happily, and hand in hand, we walked towards the crowds. "We might meet the others", Liev said, "Is that okay?" I shrugged and grinned. "Sure!"

We walked around the streets for an hour or so before I couldn't avoid the council's booth anymore. It was raining, and Dad stood beneath a huge umbrella, telling a group of people - mostly small Quileute children - the story of our origin. Next to him Emily, who was selling muffins (no surprise there), listened with interest. And left to the pile of muffins sat a sleeping Paul and a bored Jared. They were selling little wooden animals, mostly wolves. "Are these animals hand-made?", Liev asked me. I shrugged. "Let's ask them." I turned round to face Jared and asked as polite as I could:"Jared, my boyfriend here wants to know if these wooden figures are hand-made." Jared grinned. "Your boyfriend? That pale-face is your boyfriend?" I raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a problem with that?" Jared shook his head. "No, of course not. Hey", he shook hands with Liev, "I'm Jared. Nice to meet you." Liev smiled. "I'm Liev. Nice to meet you too. So, what about these animals now? Are they hand-made or not?" Jared nodded. "Yep. Made by members of our tribe. Leah, look, these wolves were made by Jacob." I examined five little wolves in different positions, and one of them was painted light gray. I liked that one. It was not sitting like the other wolves, but it looked like it was running. It reminded me of my dream-wolf - or maybe I should say the Leah-the-Older wolf. Maybe if I put the figure on my nightstand, I would stop dreaming about the creepy wolf.

Sure, Old Quil had said that I should let myself get caught by the wolf, but... hello? Anyone sane here? Why would I let myself get caught by a hungry beast? That had been the worst advise anyone had ever given. I would not follow that advise. I would continue running.

"How much is that wolf?", I asked Jared. Jared looked shocked. "What? You seriously want to buy one?" I shook my head. "Not just any, Jared. _That _one." I pointed at the light gray wolf. Jared shrugged. "Wait, i have to look at the price list..." I rolled my eyes.

"You can just have it", a voice said next to me. It was Jacob, together with Chrissi and Nathalie. Jared looked up. "Jake, that's ten bucks!" "That's my best friend, you moron. Give the wolf to her." Jared shrugged. "It's your money, pal." And he handed me the running gray wolf. I beamed at Jacob. "Thank you, Jakey! So nice of you!" I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He grinned sheepishly. "It's just wood, Leah. But I'm glad if I could make you happy. See you around!" And he disappeared again with the two girls.

Jared looked at me again. "Well, now you've got your wolf. Hope you have a nice day." He winked at me and turned to wake up Paul, who had started snoring.

I pushed Liev to the umbrella where Dad had just finished his story and where all the people were starting to leave. Dad was drinking something. I cleared my throat. "Hey Dad, look who I've brought." Dad turned to us. Liev looked as if he wanted to kill me. "Oh, hello honey", Dad said in a tone as if nothing had happened this morning. "Hi", I said, still being pissed, of course, "Dad, this is Liev, the young man you were making such a fuss about this morning." Dad turned deep red and shook hands with Liev. "Hello, Sir", Liev said politely, "It's nice to meet you. My name's Liev Rosenthal." Dad nodded. "Harry Clearwater. Where are you from, Liev?" "Wisconsin, Sir." Dad nodded again. "Nice to meet you, too. I'd love to get to know you, but I have to prepare the next story. Maybe you two can watch. Leah has to know how it works. After all, she will have to do it next year." I stared at him. "What?" Had he seriously said that? It would be my turn next year? No way. He could do it next year as well. I was not going to embarrass myself. Dad winked at me and walked into Embry's house. Apparently he was allowed to use the bathroom inside there or something.

We waited fifteen minutes, then Dad came back, wearing his weird costume together with a wolf mask. And with a deep, melodic and utterly captivating voice, he started telling the story of the Third Wife.

I was a little shocked, but after a minute or so I realized that nobody would believe what he was telling. He was exaggerating too much to be believable. Only those who were in on the secret understood what exactly he was telling the audience.

He was walking around, widened his eyes and made many gestures. Just like the stereotypical Indian would do. That this was an actual Native American tale that had shaped our people, they would never believe.

While Dad was telling the story, a group of dancers had appeared behind him sort of dance-acting out what Dad was telling. They were wearing wolf masks and there were three of them. I realized it must be Sam, Jared and Paul. They were fighting against someone with a white mask, a cold one. Taha Aki was played by Billy in his wheelchair. Our people cheered. The tourists probably didn't know hwy, but they cheered with us. Then a woman appeared, wearing a white mask, too. She could dance really well, and I envied her. Then I realized that this was Emily.

Finally the third wife appeared, and I cheered alongside the other Quileutes. "That's my Mom", I whispered to Liev, who stared at the dancers, completely fascinated. Mom danced awesome. She looked so beautiful as she was dancing towards her death.

When Dad had finished, the Quileutes cheered and applauded very loudly. The tourists, and Liev, were struck with awe. Then Dad bowed and ended the play, announcing the Chief Memorial Ceremony.

"That was awesome!", Liev smiled as we walked to a booth where Logan was selling sandwiches and pretzels. We were hungry. "You think?" He nodded. "Your dad has a really great voice, and your mom is a beautiful dancer. If you are really going to tell this story next year, I'm coming for sure." I rolled my eyes. "Ah, Dad's stupid. I'm not gonna do that. But I'm glad you liked it." Liev grinned and took my hand. "So, what's that Chief Memorial Ceremony?" My favorite part of the Quileute Days. Maybe because it hadn't been invented for the tourists. Dad had told me this had been done for years and years to remember the chiefs of our tribe. The ceremony was kind of romantic - at least I had thought so when I had gone there with Sam. Last year, I hadn't been at the Quileute Days at all.

"It's a special ceremony for our ancient chiefs, that they may not forget about us and take care of us from wherever they are. I don't think I'll be able to watch it with you, since I have to participate." He winked at me. "No problem." He took me in his arms, and we remained in that position for more than five minutes. I had missed it so much to be hugged by a man. I wanted him to stay with me like that forever.

But of course we couldn't, and so we broke apart and walked hand in hand towards Stella, who was standing in front of Paul and was arguing with him.

"... if you drop something like that, you can throw it away!", Paul hissed furiously. Stella stemmed her hands against her hips and glared at Paul, who was towering above her. "A, I didn't see it, because b, I didn't throw it there. If you feel so offended by it, why don't you pick it up yourself?" Paul snorted. "Why would I pick something up that you have dropped?" "Because", Stella said calmly, "I haven't dropped it. I don't understand why you are making such a fuss about it, it's just a tiny little piece of paper." Paul started shaking. "I am making 'such a fuss' because apparently you are too arrogant to even pick up something like that!" "I didn't see it until you started to point at it and scream at me", Stella said, still very calm. I admired her for that.

Paul didn't seem to admire it. He shook even harder. And now I understood why I was so scared that Stella might get hurt. Paul had shaken like that before he had turned into a wolf on prom night. And I didn't know how well he had his wolf under control.

Now I watched how Liev walked to support Stella. "Now, what's the problem?", he asked. Paul didn't seem to care about the extra person. And Sam wasn't around. Meaning there was no one around to calm Paul down. Except for me. Awesome. Why did this always happen to me? I was a nice girl. Sometimes a little mean, maybe, but a nice girl. I didn't deserve living in a freaky world full of vampires... and wolves... and vampires... Oh, I just wanted to crawl beneath my blanket and cry. Why did Jasper have to be a vampire? Why couldn't my world be normal?

Paul didn't stop shaking, proof to me that my world would never be normal again. I shook my fear off and walked towards Paul. "Liev, Stella, would you give me a minute? I want to be alone with him." Paul snarled as Liev and Stella walked away. When they were out of sight, I pushed Paul against the wall of a house. Surprised by that, he stopped shaking, but still glared at me furiously.

"Calm down!", I said with a dangerous tone. Paul still just glared. "What are you thinking? If you can't control yourself, stop getting into a fight! Honestly, I get the feeling you want to explode in front of people!" Ah, he'd gotten around his shock and was shaking again. I pressed him closer against the wall. "I warn you. Just this time. Don't do that in front of me." As if someone had shut off his anger, he stopped shaking. He only looked even angrier now. "And before you get angry at any other tourist, pick up that ridiculous piece of paper yourself and throw it away." For some reason, he did as I had told him. Of course he didn't stop glaring, but he seemed to not being able to do anything against doing as I said. "Well done", I smiled at him, "You're a good boy, Paul. Leave my friends alone." And I walked away, a huge grin on my face. I didn't know how I had done that, but Paul had actually listened to me.

"Sorry", I said to both Liev and Stella as we were walking towards the beach in the darkness so we could watch the beginning ceremony. I still didn't know whether I would have to participate, but I was counting on someone calling me. Liev had laid an arm around me, and Stella and I had linked arms. I hoped I didn't have to participate. I wanted to stay with Liev and Stella. They were nice.

Unfortunately Fate didn't want me to stay with nice people: Suddenly my cell phone rang, and Mom reminded me that I had to go to the marina now. I rolled my eyes, hugged Stella and gave Liev a long kiss before I sprinted towards the marina.

When I had arrived there, we got into our boat - Mom, Dad, Seth and me - and floated out onto the dark waters. Around us I could see the shadows of other boats, and I knew that many people of our tribe were out here, too.

And then we heard drums coming from the cliffs, playing in a certain rhythm that was both calming and exciting. How that could be, I didn't know, but it felt that way.

A voice sang loud words in our language, and then a huge fire was ignited on the cliffs. I could see the shadows of a few people dancing around the fire. On the boats candles were lightened and held up into the air. Our boat was close to St. James Island, where many of our dead chiefs were buried.

A fire was lightened up there as well. It was as big as the ones on the cliffs, and I could see people's shadows there, too. I tried to imagine how this must look for Stella and Liev - the dark, moving ocean with little dancing shadows swimming on it that each carried small flames, and the two huge fires on the cliffs and St. James Island. I had always loved that. The voice from the cliffs was singing an old song now; a Quileute song that little children learned in preschool. It wasn't like a national anthem, but more like a national mourning hymn. And like a canon, the people in the boats began singing, my family with them, and then the Quileutes at the beach and on St. James Island sang as well. And like always, I felt a strange, but beautiful hollow feeling creeping up my back. At this point, I always felt like we were one nation, one people, unified in their remembrance and memory of their ancestors.

I loved this feeling. And this feeling, this song, the whole ceremony, was the reason why I loved the Quileute Days. Because during the ceremony, I really was Quileute.

I found Liev sitting at the beach, together with Jacob, Stella, Chrissi, Shaun, Anna, Lucas and Ben. Jacob flirted with Chrissi, and Anna was talking to Shaun with bright eyes. Stella was leaning against Liev's shoulder, apparently sleeping. Liev smiled at me. "That was so beautiful", he said. I nodded. "It's my favorite part. Now pay attention, there's going to be fireworks." He grinned and laid an arm around me. The fireworks started, a beautiful mixture of green, yellow, blue and red, coming from the ocean and St. James Island. I knew that somewhere out there, my dad was igniting them, together with Billy, Old Quil and probably Sam, having an awful lot of fun. Dad had once told me that this was the part he loved the most, being with Billy and Old Quil out there on the ocean.

"So, I'm your boyfriend now?", Liev asked in a flirty voice. I smiled and leaned against him. "If you want to, that is." He kissed my lips. "Of course I want", he said. I grinned. I was feeling happy. Really happy.

The next day was the last day of the Quileute festival. I met Liev in front of my house. "Could it be your house is one of the few houses in this area with two floors and not just one?" I nodded. "Yeah. I think this once was a missionary's house, and they hadn't really gotten the idea of flat buildings." I winked at him. "Pale-faces never understand our culture." Arms linked, we walked towards the festival, and for some reason, I had the feeling it was even more crowded than yesterday and the day before that. I didn't know why the Quileute Days were so popular. Maybe because there was nothing else to do around here. I saw the Forksians: Mike, Eric, the Forks-Jessica and the tall Angela. I didn't like them much, but I was glad they hadn't brought Isabella. It would be weird to talk to her, since she knew about the Cullens' secret, and I did, too, but she didn't know that I knew. At least I thought and hoped so. I didn't know what crazy Edward had told her. I just hoped nothing about me, because if he told Isabella I was friends with Jasper, and Isabella told Jacob, then soon the whole tribe would know and I would probably get problems with our wolf pack. After all, they were convinced the Cullens were evil bloodsuckers.

Suddenly I ran against a wall. At least it felt like that. I needed a few seconds to realize that I hadn't walked against a wall, but against Sam's chest. I apologized, my face turned deep red. Sam just shrugged and gave me a smile before he turned to look at Liev. "So", he asked through gritted teeth that looked like a smile to everyone else except to me, who knew Sam's every move, mimic and gesture. "You are Leah's new boyfriend, right?" Liev nodded and said:"And you are her ex." Sam's eyes narrowed. "Exactly." Liev smiled politely. "Nice to meet you. We'd like to continue our way now." But apparently Sam had something different on his mind. He blocked the way. "And do you know how to handle Leah?", he asked, still through a fake smile. If possible, my face turned even redder. Liev shrugged. "I think I'm okay, thank you." He wanted to go past Sam, but Sam didn't let him. And then Sam started shaking, and I knew that somehow, Sam still cared for me. But this hurt more than it helped, because if he still cared for me, why hadn't he tried harder to break the imprint?

"You don't know anything about Lee-Lee", Sam growled. The fake smile had disappeared. "You know nothing about her. You're gonna hurt her, and you're gonna break her heart and-" I rolled my eyes, because that was enough now. What was he thinking? And why didn't he stop shaking? I mean he was the Alpha! He was supposed to control himself!

"Samuel, shut up!", I said loudly. His head jerked up in my direction. "You shut up. I'm talking to the dwarf here." Liev wasn't small, but Sam was huge. Gigantic. Almost two meters, I supposed. "Can we talk?", I asked innocently. Sam nodded, his eyes still focused on Liev. I mouthed "Sorry" towards my boyfriend, grabbed Sam by his arm and drew him behind a house. There I let him go.

"Are you out of your mind?", I hissed, "Do you have any idea how embarrassing this was? You don't even know how I feel and yet you're reacting as if Liev had proposed to me! Honestly, what's with you? And then you start shaking like the lunatic you are and risk turning into a black murderous wolf!" He stopped shaking. "I'm not murderous." I shrugged. "You know pretty well that you could kill someone if you explode nearby them." He looked hurt. Apparently I had hit a nerve. "I just don't want him to hurt you, Leah. He's just here for the summer, and-" "He's not you, you moron! Stop seeing yourself in every idiot that I look at! And besides that, has it maybe occurred to you that I know he will go back home at the end of summer? He's not the freaking love of my life!" Sam exhaled. "You don't love him?" "Well, right now I just have a really big crush on him! Are you satisfied? Because I'm really pissed about your behavior!" Sam didn't look like he was buying what I had said. "You won't leave Quileute land to follow him?" Wow. Where had he gotten that idea from? "SAMUEL! ARE YOU STUPID, OR WHAT? WHAT SILLY MOVIE HAVE YOU WATCHED TO JUMP TO THAT CONCLUSION? SERIOUSLY, I'M DISAPPOINTED! YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW I'M NOT SUCH A GIRL! JESUS CHRIST!" He looked hurt. "I'm sorry. I was just a little scared." I patted his shoulder. "Oh Sammy, you don't have to be scared", I said with a huge fake smile on my lips, "I don't need a man to leave this goddam place. I can do it on my own. See, it's very simple. I will just enroll on a college far away from here, and then I'm gone." Sam looked calm now. "Is that what you want? Leave and marry a pale-face?" "Maybe I'll do that. I've had enough of Native American morons. Anyway, Sam, I think you will go to Liev now and apologize for your impolite behavior. Thank you for listening to me." I gave him a short nod and walked away. Hopefully he walked straight to Liev and apologized. This really had been embarrassing.

Half an hour later a smiling Liev took my hand. "This giant has apologized to me and said I should tell you he's sorry. What have you done to him?" I shrugged. "I talked." "Your voice must be pure magic when you're pissed. Please remind me to never get on your bad side." I winked at him. "Don't worry, sweetie, you're the nice guy. This won't happen to you." He exhaled relieved and winked back at me. "Still, I wonder what made him listen to you. You're like the alpha female of your tribe boys." He winked again, and I laughed with him at his joke.

Although a part of me thought that maybe this wasn't a joke at all.

**The ceremony has no roots in Quileute culture, I just invented it :) Hope you liked this chapter – and we're coming nearer and nearer to **_**New Moon**_**!**


	32. The Lost Love of the White Wolf

**Wow, 150 reviews! Thank you! I really hope you continue enjoying Leah's life. **

**I don't own Twilight. I've invented the following legend, though, so I hope you like it.**

The Lost Love Of The White Wolf

The next week Liev invited me to the surfer's campfire. He said it would be fun: a fire, lots to eat and drink, scary stories and a long night. "Let me guess what happened after last year's camp fire", I said, grinning at my boyfriend, "You were drunk and demolished Sam's property, right?" Liev smiled innocently, but didn't say anything. How I loved it to be right.

But because of that invitation I packed my warm brown blanket, a sleeping bag and the famous Clearwater pancakes on Thursday evening, drove to the beach and cuddled myself into the warm arms of Liev. Stella sat next to me, and it made me kind of sad to think that they would all leave at the end of summer. She'd have to give me her number. I would miss her.

Around the fire sat all the other surfers: Anna sat next to Shaun who sat next to Lucas who sat next to Chrissi who sat next to Anka who sat next to Harry who sat next to Nathalie who sat next to Ben who in turn sat next to Liev and me. Stella sat next to me and Liev and to Anna. We were a funny circle. Harry was telling stupid jokes, and Ben tried to flirt with Natty, which of course didn't work. Stella and I talked about this and that, while Liev and Shaun talked loudly about football and girls crushing on surfer boys. Anna was sharing a sausage with Anka, and Chrissi was having problems with the bottle opener. Lucas helped her and smiled at her in a way that made me think those two were gonna be a couple soon.

They had gone through all the trouble to prepare an awesome buffet. They had sausages and steaks, bread, a huge bowl of salad, toast so one could make a sandwich, my pancakes, cookies, chips, potatoes, fish, chocolate and marshmallows. And all of that en masse, because we were eleven people.

I ate almost everything, except for the fish, of course. I wasn't really a big fan of fish. When I was full, I leaned against Liev and watched the bright stars on the very dark sky. Lucky it wasn't raining - a rare occasion on the Olympic peninsula.

Apparently everyone had become a little sleepy, because suddenly Natty announced that it was now time to tell scary stories. Everyone looked around to see if someone had one, and then all their eyes settled on me. "You are new", Shaun announced, "You have to tell one!" I looked around. All nodded. Only Nathalie wasn't saying anything. "I don't know one", I admitted. Apart from my whole life, that was. "Then you have to invent a new one", Harry said. Everyone nodded enthusiastically.

Invent one? How was I supposed to do that? Of course I had enough material right around the corner, with a man-wolf pack living on Quileute land and a vegetarian vampire family staying in Forks, for deer and fun. But I couldn't take any inspiration from that. Someone might be clever enough to draw the conclusion, and I couldn't risk that.

I took a deep breath. A story came to my mind. Well, after all I was a storyteller-to-be.

I closed my eyes and cleared my throat. "Okay then." I opened my eyes again. "I want you to listen closely. It is not a scary story, but it is a story that comes deep from the Quileutes' heart. It's one of my favorites. Is that okay?" Everyone nodded and leaned towards me so they could listen better. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

Then I began.

"There is a legend in our tribe that tells of the mythical moon wolf; a female wolf that strays around the forests of the world. In a cold, dark, moonless night, the moon wolf runs through the woods, and sometimes, it can be heard howling.

"See, once upon a time, long before now, but many years after the magic of Taha Aki, the moon wolf was a beautiful Quileute maiden, with soft skin, long black hair and brown eyes in which everyone could see their true self. She was not only beautiful, but also very talented: when she sang, even the birds fell silent, because next to her voice, their songs sounded like loud noise. The maiden was kind and always cheerful, and she lived happily among her tribe.

"But one day, the beautiful Quileute maiden overheard that her father wanted her to marry the tribe's medicine man, who was an evil, greedy man with no honor and no dignity. The medicine man wanted the maiden to be his wife so she could clean his home, cook his meals and please him in bed.

"The maiden tried to talk her father out of the marriage, but he didn't listen. He wanted to please the medicine man and win him as a friend, because he wanted to enter the tribal council, and so the beautiful Quileute maiden had no other choice but to marry the medicine man.

"In the night before the wedding, the young woman packed her things and fled the village. She reached the woods long before dawn, but she didn't know which way to go, and so she got lost.

"For a few days she could live from the food and water she had taken from her village, but she knew her supplies were drawing to an end, and she had never learned what berries and plants she could eat and what would kill her. She became desperate, knowing that if she couldn't find the means to survive, she would die.

"After a few more days without food the young Quileute woman was so desperate that she began praying to the spirits for help. She hoped that they would give her food and water and teach her how to survive in the forest. But the spirits had other plans. They were wolf spirits coming from the time when the Quileute Nation had been founded, and a long time ago they had helped the great chief Taha Aki to turn into a wolf himself. So when the young woman prayed to the spirits for help, they decided to turn her into a wolf.

"And so the Quileute woman was turned into a beautiful white wolf.

"As a wolf, her senses were far better. She could run faster, and hear and smell better. As a wolf, she could hunt deer and other forest animals, and it was easier to find a way.

"So it came that finally, after almost a year of wandering through the huge woods both as woman and as wolf, she found a way out.

"But what a way out that was! She had wandered so far that the place where she came out of the forest wasn't anywhere near her home. It was some unknown land, very flat and full of grass, and strange animals that the young woman did not know ran in herds across it. She didn't know where she was, and so she stayed in her wolf form so no one would threaten her.

"But one day, as she had just gotten out of the wolf skin and taken a bath in a beautiful sun-lit river, a young red-skinned man who wanted to go fishing surprised her. And although at first both could only point at things to communicate, they soon fell in love. The young man taught the young Quileute woman his language and showed her what she could eat. After a while, the young man introduced the maiden to his family, and she made many new friends with her kindness and her beautiful voice.

"But war was near: a rival tribe wanted to take the hunting grounds of the tribe the young woman was staying with, and all the tribe's men prepared to fight. So did the young woman's lover, and she feared for his life. The young man promised her fiercely that he would return to her no matter what, and the Quileute maiden, desperate in her fear that they would never see each other again, named him the special place where they had made love for the first time as the secret meeting place, should he return or flee. The young man agreed, and with the imprint of a last desperate kiss on his lips he went into a war against a powerful enemy.

"As the enemy's warriors came nearer and nearer to the young woman's village, and her new tribe prepared to flee, but her lover did not return, she packed her things again to search the sacred place of their first love-making so she could wait there for him, be it man or spirit, to return to her as he had promised.

"But alas! - she couldn't find that place again! She searched everywhere, on the great plains of grass, the high gray cold mountains and the thick green forests. She searched as woman and as wolf. She searched in winter and summer, autumn and spring. After four winters had passed, and neither she had found the sacred place nor had her lover returned to her, the beautiful Quileute woman prayed to the spirits again and begged them to help her one more time.

"The spirits liked the woman - she had never forgotten how they had helped her in the first place and had done everything to honor them - and they wanted to help her. But even they didn't know where this sacred place could be, nor had they seen the woman's loved one.

"The woman started crying, for the man had been her one true love and the one she had wanted to keep forever. Not knowing where he was or what had happened to him made her so sad that she couldn't stop crying. Her tears had already formed a small creek, but in her sorrow it was growing quickly, and the spirits feared she might drown the entire forest.

"Because her sorrow saddened the spirits and because they wanted to keep her from destroying the woods, they discussed what they could do to help the woman finding what would make her happy. But they only had one idea.

"They turned her into the moon so that she could overlook the world and maybe find the sacred place or her lover from above. And once a month, she could take back her mortal form as a woman or a wolf to search the world, for even the moon cannot see everything. But when she is in this world, there is no moon in the sky and the night stays dark.

"Ever since then, once a month, the white moon wolf returns to this world looking for her lost love, and sometimes, she can be heard howling. But he who hears her howl can never be happy again, for she still hasn't found her one true love, and her heart is full of sorrow and worry that she might never find him."

I ended. While telling that, I had stared only into the fire, and only now I realized there were people around me. I looked up and saw admiring faces.

And then a loud wolf howl came from the forest. Everyone jumped. Even I jerked up.

All started laughing nervously, and then they were applauding. Liev kissed my forehead. "You've inherited your father's talent. That was so beautiful." Stella nodded. I smiled at all of them and then drank some water to get my voice right again. I saw that Shaun had laid an arm around Anna, and I thought that maybe Liev and Stella had been wrong. Maybe Shaun loved Anna, but was too much of a cool guy to actually admit it. I hoped he would make her happy soon.

Nathalie smiled at me. "Thank you, Leah. That story really was something new. Who else has something to tell?" Shaun raised his hand. "I have a story. It is a true story that happened in my hometown in Texas. You can read about it in old newspapers, and the town's older people can still remember what happened back then. It is about a wolf, too, that's why I remembered it now." Everyone nodded, and Shaun cleared his throat and drew Anna a little closer.

"Okay, this story takes place in the 1920ies, and it has made town history as 'The Murders of Carrizo Springs'."


	33. The Murders of Carrizo Springs

**Thanks for the reviews! And now, as I upload chapter 33, I also want to thank everyone who has favorited or alerted my story! You guys are awesome. Clearwater apple pie for everyone! **

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The Murders of Carrizo Springs

"On Monday, the 16th of May 1921, América Rodriguez entered the kitchen of Jenna and William O'Connor to clean the house and do the laundry, as she did on every Monday and Wednesday. At first everything seemed as usual, but after a while she felt that it was too silent in the house. Only then she realized that there were no dishes on the table, as it always had been, for Jenna O'Connor liked to have an early morning coffee.

"América Rodriguez called for the couple, and when she received no answer, she went upstairs into the bedroom to see if everything was fine. She opened the bedroom door – and screamed in horror.

"On the bed, as if sleeping, lay Jenna and William O'Connor. But their throats had been ripped, blood had stained the sheets, and the two people looked pale and bloodless. Strange to say, the windows hadn't been broken, and América Rodriguez later testified that the doors had been locked when she'd arrived with the spare key.

"The police didn't find a lead.

"Two days later, Johnathan McLaggen, the town's undertaker, was found dead at the cemetary, his throat ripped as well, and his corpse also white and bloodless.

"Then, on Sunday, seven-year-old Linda Banks found her grandparents dead in their garden, killed exactly like the O'Connors and McLaggen. People were getting scared. Some rumours began to spread about a serial killer. Of course the police didn't want to admit that, for they didn't want the town to panic. When for the next two weeks nothing happened, people began to relax. The deaths, it was explained, had been caused by a rabid animal. Only the town's older people, some of which had even fought in the Civil War, were still alert."

My head jerked up, and I listened more closely than before. Shaun's story really was creepy, but what had caught my attention was the mentioning of the Civil War. Jasper's time.

"They explained they had seen similar corpses during the war. They told that whenever there had been a battle, the next morning many of the wounded had been found dead with ripped throats and bloodless bodies, some of them looking scared as hell. Of course nobody believed crazy old men with traumata.

"But they were right to be careful, because in the second week of June six more corpses turned up, looking exactly like the ones before. The town panicked and the police desperately searched for clues concerning the killer's profile. The only thing they had was the method of killing. The victims didn't share anything at all. Among the six dead persons were a school teacher, Miss Nadine Harrison, two infamous alcoholics known as Dick and Nick, the O'Connor's housekeeper América Rodriguez, an orphan child everyone only called 'The Kid', and the Civil War veteran Frederic Wilkins. The only thing the police could think of was that the murderer liked to ill, and that he only killed in the middle of the night. By then, some familied had already fled to San Antonio, spreading the rumors about the Carrizo Springs murders.

"The next week, five more people died, this time from the farms that lay around the town, and the number of the murders already totaled 16, a grand number when one knows that Carrizo Springs never had many inhabitants.

"The police began doubting that a human could be responsible for the deaths, for a coroner had assigned the wounds at the throats to strong teeth and had told the police that it was impossible for a human to inflict such wounds. So the police began searching for an animal that would have enough strength to kill people.

"They couldn't find one, and the death toll kept rising. A family with two children died in the fourth week of June. In the first week of July, 28 people in total had died since the beginning of the murders, and whatever it was that was on a killing spree didn't stop.

"Some of the more superstitious people began arguing that it was a spirit or ghost of vengeance that was killing those people. They began wearing amulets and held secret ceremonies to ban the evil spirit. Of course that didn't help, and when the death toll rose over 35 people, some of the more racist townspeople began spreading rumors that a nearby living Native American tribe was responsible for the killings. A spokesman of Carrizo Springs went to talk with the tribal elders, but they were not helping, as they continuously spoke of the 'evil blood-drinking demon' that had come to punish the pale-faces. The spokesperson was already on his way back home when an older Native American woman stopped him and led him into her hut, telling him it was dangerous to be outside at night at the moment. He felt that the woman, whose name translated as Sprouting Grass, knew something, and talked her into telling her what she knew.

"Her tale was a mythical explanation full of allusions and metaphors, not better than the elders' stories, but she repeatedly spoke of 'the Mexican and her blond general' when talking about the wrongdoers. The spokesman couldn't get out of her who exactly this 'Mexican and her blond general' were, and so he later only repeated to the police what Sprouting Grass had told him, adding that her tale was more than unbelievable.

"By that time, already 42 people had died, and the police still hadn't found a lead. Usually the national media would have turned to Carrizo Springs by now, but the aftermath of the Tulsa race riots in May had captivated all their attention. The police was left alone, and they were looking for a culprit.

"Then, on one day, after the police had found another corpse, rumors began to spread about a huge white beast in the forest. Surely an animal like that could have killed all those people! Soon more sightings were reported, and the animal could be categorized.

"It was a wolf. A female wolf, a biologist had said, but one that didn't fir any known kind of wolf. This one was far bigger than the usual wolf would be. It was bigger than male wolves, almost as tall as a 'Wolf of Carrizp Springs' was compared to the supposed 'Beast of Gévaudan', an animal that had killed 113 people in the late 1800s. The townspeople were convinced they had found the murderer.

"The police felt pressured to do something. They had to act before things got out of hand. On Wednesday, the third of August, they had taken position in the wood in the early morning, knowing that this could be the only place the wolf could hide.

"They were waiting in the darkness, firearms in position. A young recruit panicked and almost fired a shot. He was sent home. The others waited quietly until six in the morning, when they saw the giant wolf for the first time.

"It was later described as a beautiful animal, with sad, big brown eyes that looked almost human, and light grey fur that could easily be mistaken for white.

"But on that morning, the police officers only saw the murderer of their fellow townspeople – their friends, their families. They took aim and fired. The wolf didn't have a chance to flee. It was killed by more than a hundred bullets, many of which pierced right through its heart.

"When they were sure it was dead, they walked up to it to examine it more closely and take photos. On the right hind leg they found a bundle of female clothes, looking distantly Native American, but of no tribe they knew. They didn't care much about it.

"The successful hunters brought the dead wolf into the townhall, where people could look at it. A day later, the elders of the nearby Native American tribe came by, together with Sprouting Grass, who turned out to be their shaman. They demanded the surrender of the wolf's body, and after a small discussion, the little group walked back to their village, carrying the wolf and its strange bundle. A witness -an ethnologist called Robert Frazer - had been invited to join the Natives, and later told the local newspaper and everyone who wanted to hear it that the Natives had burned the body and had danced around the fire, similar to their tradition when someone important of their tribe had died. They had buried the ashes and had prayed to their spirits to lead the wolf's soul back to where it had come from so it could be able to end what it had begun. Asking Sprouting Grass about the ceremony, the ethnologist was answered that pale-faces tended to always see what they were looking at, and that they were never able to take a look past the body and into the soul. Frazer later concluded that the tribe believed a human sould had lived inside the wolf's body, and that with their ceremony, they had helped this soul to return into the never-ending circle of birth and death. Apparently they were convinced that the wolf hadn't killed those people.

"But after its death, the killings stopped, and ever since then, Carrizo Springs has remained a calm, quiet and boring town."

Shaun looked expectantly into our faces. But we were all too scared to say a word. Stories about real murders were always strange to listen to, and we all had goosebumps. But then Nathalie applauded, and soon everyone joined her. The feeling was gone fast, and five minutes later, everyone was talking again. Except for me. I lay in Liev's arms and thought about Shaun's story. It didn't let me go. 43 people had died in Carrizo Springs in 1921, and that in only three months. But they had found the culprit eventually, hadn't they?

Something bothered me about that wolf. It had been bigger than normal wolves, light gray, with intelligent eyes and a bundle on the right hind leg. The Native Americans had said that inside this body lived a human soul. At least with _my _tribe, that could mean two things:

A) Sometimes, tribe members were reborn in their totem and therefore gave it a human soul.

B) The wolf had been a human – a person like Sam or Paul or Jared who could turn into a wolf. That would also explain the size. Our wolves were gigantic.

I didn't know whether there were other tribes whose members could turn into wolves. There could be – because why should our tribe be special? But then, we probably would know about other shapeshifters by now.

But if I assumed that only the Quileutes could turn into wolves, it would mean that the wolf of Carrizo Springs had been someone of my tribe. And not only that – according to Shaun, it had been a female wolf. But according to our legends, there never had been wolf-woman.

A small voice inside of me protested. Leah Clearwater the Older.

I gasped. When had she disappeared from our tribe? What year had it been? Could she have run to Texas? Texas was very far away, but a wolf-woman would have been able to run that distance. And in my dreams – hadn't her fur been light gray? But I couldn't just assume that she really had been able to , she must have been about eighty years old in 1921. An old woman would never travel so far for nothing.

I shook my head. All these thoughts were giving me a headache. They were just assumptions. Everything would fall with a single hint that my great-great-great-grandmother had not been able to turn into a wolf. At least I wasn't the only one believing there had been something strange about her. Her chief had thought and had told his oldest son that he believed Leah Clearwater the Older had imprinted on somebody.

But these were the only clues I had about her secret life: her having imprinted on someone, and a light gray female wolf in Carrizo Springs, Texas, of which the local Natives had thought it had been a human.

Why had they believed so? There must have been a reason for that! My head jerked up. "Shaun!", I said very loudly, trying to get his attention away from Harry, "Shaun!" The Texan turned towards me. "Yeah?" "What tribe was that in your story?" He began laughing. "Still thinking about my horror story? Let me think... I think it was a group of the Carrizo-Comecrudo tribe, but they were mixed with other tribes, too, people who had found asylum there." I nodded. "Are they still there?" Shaun shook his head. "But some of their children live in Carrizo Springs and keep the traditions alive. Why are you asking? Should I give you their names?", he joked. I nodded. "That would be nice." Shaun choked. "Why are you so interested in that?" I shrugged. Fortunately my brain worked fast enough to find a convincing lie:"Our legends seem to be similar, that could be interesting." Shaun raised an eyebrow, but smiled and nodded. "Well, I have a friend whose grandmother is the daughter of the daughter of Sprouting Grass. I could give you the phone number." I nodded, and he stood up to get a piece of paper and a pencil.

Liev held my hand. "What's that about?" "Just some genealogy." I winked at him and kissed him.

Nathalie was yawning. "I'm going to bed." "Me too", both Chrissi and Anka said. Nathalie looked at Harry. "You will extinguish the fire properly. Good night." Shaun returned and handed me the phone number. "Here you go. I'm gonna call them in the morning and tell them about your intention to call, so that they're prepared." "Thank you", I smiled, "Really, thank you."

Soon, Liev and I crawled into his tent. We kissed a little, but then Liev fell asleep, arms slung around me. I was tired, too, but I just couldn't shut off my mind. I was thinking too much. I couldn't wait to call that woman in Carrizo Springs. I hoped she would be able to help me somehow. Grandma, I thought, addressing Leah the Older, why is your story so mysterious? Come on, help me. I need to know. I want to know who you were and what you've done that you keep appearing in my life.

But I knew I wouldn't get an answer today, and so I fell asleep.

My sleep didn't stay dreamless.

_As I had already often done, I walked through rows of dirty cotton tents. In some of them gray-cladded soldiers sat and were smiling and nodding at me. But I didn't feel as comfortable as I had felt in another dream, the one with the friendly soldier who had let me stay in his tent. This time, I felt nervous, as if I was about to panic._

_Soon the man I had wanted to talk to appeared on a small hill in the middle of the tent rows. He wore the uniform of a major, and he was talking hectically to a sergeant. Both looked stressed, and a strange feeling was creeping up my back. A very unpleasant feeling, as if something was wrong._

_My dress ruffled loudly. I wasn't used to wearing clothes like that, and it was hard to move with the huge crinoline skirt. I somehow knew that I had been presented with this dress by a friend of mine._

_I cleared my throat. "Good day, sir", I greeted the major whose name I did not know. The man turned towards me and bowed. "Hello, Ma'am. How can I help you?" That was actually a good question. I didn't even know what I wanted from that man. But I had the strange feeling that this dream was more than just a dream – a memory coming back from the depths of my mind. And so I just let it happen. "Sir, has Major Whitlock returned yet?" The man looked away from me and nodded at the sergeant. At least I knew him. Sergeant Harper. He turned to me and said in a very serious tone:"Miss Clearwater, Major Whitlock was supposed to return two days ago. I am afraid he has disappeared." I tried to smile, although my heart stopped the minute he had said these words. "Disappeared, Sergeant? Where to?" The man shrugged. "We don't know, Ma'am." He looked away from me, too, and I got the slight feeling that he was keeping something from me. I didn't like that at all, and so I said dominantly:"What is it you're not telling me? Don't try to hide it, I need to know!" The sergeant winced. "I am sorry, Ma'am, I didn't mean to. Major Cooper told us to be careful when you're around, because he knows you and Major Whitlock have been friends, and-" I interrupted him. "Have been, Sergeant?", I asked sharply. The sergeant looked really uncomfortable now. "We have found his horse, Ma'am, together with all his belongings." It felt as if someone had ripped my heart out of my chest – no, worse. As if someone had grabbed my beating heart and was twisting it, round and round and round, until it was getting harder and harder for me to breathe. I told myself to calm down, but I couldn't feel anything. Major Whitlock could not have disappeared. "You... you have found Texas?", I finally managed to say. "Yes, Ma'am. We have no other choice but to assume that he is dead. It's that, or he has deserted."_

_I exploded. "Think what you are saying, Sergeant!", I choked, trying to breathe normally. My heart was now beating so fast that I feared getting a heart attack. "Jasper loves the Confederacy, he loves Texas and he loves the Army! He would never desert. And he would never leave his horse!" I desperately tried not to cry. Why was I feeling as if someone had ripped my heart out of my chest? I turned away from Sergeant Harper and let my tears run freely. Then I turned beack to him. "Well, that can only mean he's dead, right?" Sergeant Harper nodded stiffly. He touched my hand, "Leah, I am really sorry. We cannot bury him because there is no body, but there is no other explanation than that he's dead. He really was a good friend of yours, wasn't he?" I just nodded, tears flooding down my face. I couldn't stop crying. "Is there really no chance that he might be somewhere, alive?", I finally asked. The sergeant nodded. "Do you want to see the horse?" He held out his hand, and I took it. He led me to a beautiful horse that was tied to a tree. The horse seemed happy to see me, and I was happy to see Texas, too, Proof that Jasper Whitlock really had existed. I petted the horse's back and muttered to him in Quileute. _

_After a while Sergeant Harper said:"We need somone to take Texas back to Major Whitlock's father, but we cannot spare a man right now. Could you ride the horse to San Antonio?" I agreed immediately. I wanted to spend as much time with Texas as possible before I tried to find my way back home. Taking Texas home would also mean to smell at least for a few more days the scent of Jasper Whitlock – the scent of a man for whom I held nothing but love in my heart._

_I turned to Sergeant Harper again. "He really is gone, isn't he? He will never come back, will he?" The sergeant looked really sad. "I am sorry, Leah. It is a great loss for us, too. He was our best strategic." I nodded, drying my tears with my sleeve. "Of course I will bring Texas home." I smiled at Harper before I turned away, new tears forming in my eyes. "Jasper", I sobbed quietly, hearing my own desperation behind the words, "Why are they doing this to me?" _

My eyes flew open, and I panted. I could remember the dream in all its colors. I could remember my emotions. I touched my face. It was wet from tears I had cried in my sleep.

It was still dark outside. The clock on my cell phone said four in the morning. Damn. I had only slept for two hours. I couldn't stand being tired.

What a stupid dream. Had probably dreamt it because Jasper had once told me he'd been a major for the Confederacy, and for some reason, I had put myself into the dream. Why else would I have dreamt of a Leah Clearwater in a Confederate camp in the 1860ies?

I forbade myself to continue these thoughts, for they would only be speculations, and speculations were far away from the truth. But I couldn't sleep anymore. I freed myself from Liev's arms and sat up. What I knew about dreams was that they were usually connected to something that had happened during the day. It didn't have to be anything big – a scent could suffice to remind your subconsciousness of your childhood, and, bing, you dreamt of your stupid preschool teacher and her weird way of pronouncing your name (Leia, like the Star Wars princess, not Lee-ah). So something that had happened today had triggered my dream about the Confederate camp, a Major Whitlock being dead and a Native American woman being sad.

It was pretty obvious that this "something" were the stories of yesterday night. The moon wolf and the murders of Carrizo Springs. And somehow I had dreamt of the Confederacy as well. And of Leah Clearwater. But for my personality, there was no connection at all. I wasn't a moon wolf, not even a normal one, I had never walked through a Confederate camp. Yes, I knew a Jasper Whitlock, but he wasn't dead. He was just a vampire.

There was only one other Leah Clearwater. My great-great-great-grandmother. Could she fit to the two stories? Well, compared to the moon wolf's story, she had left Quileute land for a long time, and she had been able to transform into a wolf. It was also possible that she had found her soulmate during that time – at least an old chief had believed so. And in Carrizo Springs, they had shot a huge light gray wolf.

Funny how dreams connected things.

I couldn't sleep anymore, and so I left the tent and walked home. I sent Liev a message, apologizing for disappearing like that. It was still early in the morning, and I was the only one outside. A dark gray mist crept up the beach from the black waters of the ocean, and I could hear the waves.

My thought spun around my head. I knew that there was something behind all this, it lingered on the edge of my mind, but for some reason, I couldn't grasp it. Maybe calling this woman in Carrizo Springs would help. I wanted to know right now. I needed to know right now. I didn't know why, but this was really important to me.

Up in my room, I examined the photo of my ancestor. What was that strange necklace with a bullet that she was wearing? Why was she wearing it? What was its history?

An idea crossed my mind. The photo had been shot in Floresville, Texas. I had written down what I knew about my ancestor's history in my journal, and there I had surmised that she must have been in Texas in 1862. But at that time, the Civil War had still been going on. The Confederacy had been very much alive at that time, and Texas – well, it had been a part of the Confederacy. So it was very possible that my ancestor had walked through a Confederate camp. But could she have known Jasper Whitlock? _Major _Jasper Whitlock? But then Jasper would have told me by now that he had known a Native American woman who had had my name. Leah Clearwater wasn't the most common name. And if my dream had been more than just nonsense, then Leah and Jasper had been good friends. So if any of this was true, Jasper would have said something. You didn't just forget your friend.

I was getting a headache again. All these thoughts... Was it true, was it not true, could it have happened – I wasn't a historian. I was a normal girl that worried about boys and school and- cut that. I wasn't a normal girl. My tribe produced large man-wolves, and there were vampires. No wonder I speculated so much about nonsense.

I yawned loudly and suddenly felt sorry for Liev. I shouldn't have left. I hoped he would forgive me.

I let myself fall onto the bed and stared at my ancestor's photo. I had reasons to believe that somehow, she had been involved in all this... Why did nobody know? Why hadn't she told anybody? Why was all that Billy could tell me that his ancestor had supposed that she had imprinted? Why could nobody know for sure? Sure, I'd had lots of dreams that could be proof for my ancestor being something special. But nobody had ever taught me to believe in dreams.

I cuddled up in my blanket and struck my tongue out at Leah the Older. She should have stayed a shadow of my past instead of coming out and getting on my nerves. I hated secrets that would stay unsolved for all eternity.

I slowly fell asleep, having this strange feeling of being about to dream something weird. Not again, was my last thought that I could form consciously.

_I was riding Texas from the train station towards a small town in front of me. Texas was a friendly horse and easy to ride, especially when I suddenly remembered that I couldn't ride a horse at all._

_The journey hadn't been as long as I had expected. I had taken the train for two days and arrived at San Antonio in the glistering heat of bright mid-day. Not many people were out in this heat, and I had trouble finding the Whitlocks' house. Not that I wanted to bring Mr Whitlock the message of his son's death. But if I was lucky, the Army's letter had arrived already. I was sad enough myself and couldn't bear a parent's grief. _

_I got off the horse in front of a small wooden house, where an old man sat on the veranda, watching me. I walked towards him. "Good day, sir, my name is Leah Clearwater. I am looking for John Whitlock. Can you tell me where he lives?" The man smiled kindly and greeted me with a nod. I was happy to encounter such a friendly man – as a Native American, one could never be careful enough. "Good day, miss. What do yoi want from the sheriff?" "I cannot tell you, sir, it is business strictly concerning Mr Whitlock." The man nodded once. Then his gaze locked upon the horse. "Oh, my. That's Texas, isn't it? That is young Jasper's horse. Something has happened to him, right?" He suddenly looked very sad. "You know, miss, Jasper is everybody's darling here. There's never been a gentleman kinder and more gallant than him, He is our town's pride!" I smiled politely, although every word pierced my heart. "I am sorry, sir, but I have to talk to Mr Whitlock." The man nodded again. "He lives in the white-painted house with the green door, only four houses from here. The paint is already fading." "Thank you, sir. I wish you a good day, and may God bless you." I turned back to the horse and walked past the next houses until I stood in front of a green door. Nobody sat in front of it, so I led Texas to the door and knocked. _

_After a minute, a man opened the door. He seemed to be about forty years old, with a mighty beard and those witty green eyes that Jasper had had, too. "Hello, ma'am", he smiled politely, and I wondered if every Texan was friendly to a Native American woman, "How can I help you?" I tried to smile, but I couldn't. "Are you John Whitlock, father to Major Jasper Whitlock?" "Yes." Now began the crucial part. "I assume you have already received the letter", I said, stuttering lightly. Please, please, have the letter, I chanted to myself. _

_But the spirits weren't with me. "A letter?", John Whitlock asked confused, "What letter?" So the letter from the General hadn't arrived yet. I did not want to tell this man that his son had died. "Well", I said after taking a deep breath, "It's a little complicated. Can I come in?" He nodded and led me inside his kitchen, where a young blond woman sat at the table and was smiling at me. "Hello, my name is Lily Dale. I am Jasper's fiancée." I smiled back although my heart hurt as if somebody had shot me. I arranged myself with the pain and introduced myself. "Leah Clearwater of the Quileute tribe." "Oh!" Jasper's fiancée, Lily, beamed at me. "I know of you! He told me in a letter that you saved his leg from being amputated by extracting the bullet and healing the wound! Thank you so much for that. He would have been devastated if he had lost a leg." Because then he wouldn't have been able to stay in the Army, which simply was an impossible idea, because for Jasper, the Army had been everything and more. His life, his self-reputation, all that- "-depends on the Army", Lily vocalized what I already knew. I knew Jasper, I knew every inch of his body and soul, and that just by looking at him. I didn't need that blond sweet Texan woman to tell me of him. _

_But I just nodded politely and sat down as Mr Whitlock offered me a chair. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Clearwater", he smiled, "What brought you to us?" My smile faded, and really had to keep myself from crying. "I have bad news", I began, and I saw Lily's and Mr Whitlock's smiles fading, too. Mr Whitlock grabbed Lily's hand. "Something is wrong with Jasper", he stated with the calm but painful voice of a parent that had imagined hundreths of times how it would be to lose a child in war. I nodded. Lily didn't look at me now, she just stared at the door as if she wished for Jasper to come through it and tell her that everything was fine. I did. _

"_Sir, Jasper is dead", I managed to say. Don't cry, don't cry, I chanted to myself again and again. This was the time to mourn for the family, I had already had my time. "He was evacuating a town and did not return. We have only found his horse." I saw Lily's eyes glittering with hope. "But that could mean he's still alive!", she exclaimed, tears in her eyes. I had to crush her hopes – and mine. "I am sorry, Miss Dale. It seems that the Army has found proof for him being dead, otherwise they wouldn't have sent me – or the letter, for that matter. They wouldn't share this proof with me. I just volunteered to bring Texas home." Now the tears were running down Lily's face. She excused herself and rushed upstairs. Mr Whitlock smiled sadly at me. "I am sorry for her behaviour, Miss Clearwater. It is just that she and Jasper – they were very much in love. They wanted to marry at his return." He was holding back his own tears, his own pain. "Thank you for bringing his horse home. He wrote to me about you. You have been his best friend?" I nodded, and he smiled a little sad smile. "I must confess, when he first told me about you, I was aggravated. I was really down on friendly relationships with Indians, I hope you can forgive me for that. But I got to see that without you, I would have lost my son much earlier. Thank you for that." He led me out of the house, where Texas stood and waited. As Mr Whitlock was checking the bags on the horse, he asked:"What will you do now?" "I'm going home", I smiled. "And where is that, if I may ask?" "Oh, far in the North. It is a long way." We were silent for a moment. Then Mr Whitlock asked:"Will you be okay? I mean, a young woman, wandering through yankee territory – I promise you, they aren't as gallant as we are." He winked at me. I smiled "I know, I know. Don't worry, sir, I will be fine." Mr Whitlock continued searching Jasper's bag in silence, and I watched the street._

"_You really liked my son, didn't you?", he suddenly asked. I nodded. "Very much, sir. He was my best friend. I miss him." I wiped away my tears. Mr Whitlock looked at me with a kind expression, almost paternal. "You will always be welcome here, Leah", he smiled. He took my hand and placed something in it. It was the small pocket knife that Jasper had always carried with him in a leather sheath on his belt. It was a knife with a red wooden handle and a sharp silvery blade. It was a beautiful knife that Jasper had always used for everything – from eating to carving. He had once said his dad had given it to him on his tenth birthday. "I can't take that, sir. You gave it to him." "And now I give it to you, my dear Leah. Please, take it and always remember my son. I know that he loved you." I wiped away the new-forming tears. "Thank you so much, Mr Whitlock. You are the kindest man I have ever met. I hope you'll win this war. I didn't care much for your cause when I came here, but Jasper has made me a Confederate." Mr Whitlock laughed. "I would have expected nothing less from my son", he smiled. Then he added in a tone that sounded almost shy:"I can't let the woman who saved my son's life just walk away. Would you please stay for a few days? I would like to hear about Jasper's time in the Army. I never got much to hear, Jasper was rather quiet." I smiled. "I don't think there's much more to tell. You are his father, you know him better than anyone else. But I really would like to stay, if that's not too much of a burden for you. I don't want to interfere with your mourning." Mr Whitlock smiled a small sad smile. "You don't, honey. As Jasper's friend, you are as much part of this family as Lily." I lowered my gaze, turning red. "Thank you, sir." He carressed my cheek. "Call me John, dear." I turned even redder. "Thank you... John." "I will just get a room ready for you, dear. Please excuse me."_

_After he had walked away, I took another look at the pocket knife Mr Whitlock had given to me. The handle had Jasper's initials inlaid with metal – J.W. The knife was so beautiful, and I couldn't help but stare at it. The image sort of burned into my mind. I would never forget it._

I woke up because my cell phone beeped. "Yes?", I answered sleepily. "Leah?", Liev's voice sounded relieved, "Is everything alright? I got your message, but I just wanted to check on you..." Aww, he was too cute. Maybe I would have to correct my statement I had given to Sam on the Quileute Days – maybe I was falling in love with Liev.

Bad.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just couldn't sleep anymore. Are you mad?" "No, not at all. Just call me when you want to meet again, okay? I have to go surfing now, I promised Ben." "Sure, see you soon, then." "Great! Bye!" And he hung up. I stared at the cell phone for a little while before I suddenly remembered my dream. Another weird one, it had been, almost as if I had continued the dream from Liev's tent. In this other dream, I had dreamt that I – or rather somebody with my name – had promised to bring back home the horse of Major Jasper Whitlock. Then, in this new dream, I had been at the house of this Major Whitlock, and had met his father and fiancée.

Why had I dreamt this bullshit? Was I making this story up on my own? The dreams were as if I dreamt of my own experience, and I had dreamt about a Jasper Whitlock, a major for the Confederacy. I knew a Jasper Whitlock, who indeed had been a major for the Confederacy. The real Jasper had also told me once that he'd had a fiancée called Lily, and in my dream, the dead Jasper had left behind a young fiancée called Lily Dale.

Why was I dreaming this? I couldn't have invented all those details – and normal dreams weren't like this, anyway. Normal dreams consisted of a story, yes, but the stories were usually far more confusing and consisted of many symbols and elements. But my dreams – they had been like a movie, almost. My biggest problem was probably that I would have loved to accept that I had invented everything of both dreams, if it hadn't been for my stupid great-great-great-grandmother and her weird history. By her weird history, I meant that she had been in Texas at the same time Jasper had lived there. That she had come home some time after Jasper's 'death'. That she had disappeared from La Push after the birth of her grandson. That she might have been able to turn into a wolf. That maybe it had been exactly this wolf that had been shot in Carrizo Springs.

I was getting a headache from all these thoughts. I was thinking too much about stuff that was probably only unimportant. Very unimportant. There probably wasn't even a connection, I was just making this up, because mystery was appealing.

I walked downstairs and saw Dad in the kitchen, washing the dishes. For a second I thought about asking him about all those weird dreams, but then I suddenly knew that he would just make some funny remark that wouldn't help me. Same went for Billy and Old Quil. No, I would have to figure it out on my own. I wanted to call those people from Carrizo Springs. Like, soon. But I would have to wait.

For some reason, I suddenly had a detail from Shaun's story in my head.

The Mexican and her blond general.

Why did this sound like a true horror story?

**As far as I know, the small town of Carrizo Springs, Texas, has never experienced a murder series like that. Big fat sorry to the little town – I know you're peaceful! What I didn't invent, though, are the Tulsa Race Riots. I simply misused them as an excuse for the federal authorities to not come to Carrizo Springs and investigate the murders. Not that they would have found anything... but still :)**

**Stick with me, people, just one (and a half) more chapters to go until we have some New Moon action! And thanks again for sticking with me so far... Love you all :)**


	34. The End of Summer

**Wow... this chapter took me an eternity to write. Probably about one month of just writing and then another fifteen days of typing it... The only reason why it followed chapter 33 so quickly is because I like to be a few chapters ahead – in my journal, I am currently writing chapter 39. **

**But here it is: The end of Leah's summer vacation, and that means one thing: Next chapter, we are really starting with New Moon! I'm excited... are you?**

**Anyway, I'd like to respond to a few reviews:**

**nocturnal dream: Oh, you don't know how right you are... mostly, that is :)**

**ABarbieStory: Leah seems to be a little slow sometimes... BUT I promise you that Jacob will return with full power in the next chapters. I just needed to give Lee a little break :)**

**hgmsnoopy: I'm surprised, too. I guess Leah isn't always as smart as she thinks – or maybe it is self-protection? I don't really know... But I hope we'll find out soon!**

**Future riter girl: You're not so far from the truth! You're much closer than Leah... I wonder what takes her so long?**

The End of Summer

On Saturday, I realized we had only three more weeks left of the summer holidays. I didn't know whether that was something to be glad about. Of course it meant that finally my last year of school would start, but it would also mean that the surfers would have to go home. And that was something I didn't like at all. Because then Stella would be gone. And Liev! Argh!

I didn't know how to rate this summer vacation. After all, so many weird things had happened. Too many weird things to make these holidays truly awesome.

I took out my colorful journal that Jacob had gotten me for my last birthday and turned to the page where I had written down the list about my ancestor Leah the Older. I left that page free of any new writing in case I had to add new information about her, and turned to the next free page. I wanted to write down a list of the positive and the negative things that had happened this summer.

_Negative things (-)_

_Sam, Jared and Paul can turn into wolves_

_Sam has not only fallen in love, but has imprinted on my cousin and best friend, Emily_

_I had encountered a strange sweet smell two times_

_I had sprained my ankle. Ouch._

_The Quileute Days have proven to me that having a wolf pack is a hell of trouble_

_Neutral things (/)_

_THE CULLENS ARE FREAKING VAMPIRES! VAMPIRES! ANIMAL-BLOOD DRINKING VAMPIRES! WTF! ARGH!_

_Jasper had been a major for the Confederate Army_

_He was born 1842 in San Antonio, Texas_

_I have found out that Leah the Older apparently had imprinted and had been in Floresville, Texas, in in 1862_

_Positive things (+)_

_I have gotten expensive clothes from Alice_

_I have befriended Liev and Stella_

_Stella and I have spent a lot of time together_

_I have developped a huge crush on Liev. He has become my boyfriend of some sorts_

_My friendship with Jasper is more important to me than finding out the vampires have been the reason for Sam leaving me_

_I have taken part at a camp fire_

_I have heard a horror story about the small town of Carrizo Springs and about a huge gray wolf that had been shot by the townspeople because they had accused it of having murdered the dead people. Unfortunately all that seems to fit to Leah the Older so that now I am bound to find out what is behind all that._

_How stupid. How am I supposed to find out about something that belongs to the worlds of myths? I am scrrewed. I already have enough problems in the real world, even without a wolf pack and vampires, so why is this bothering me so much ?_

I finished the list, and was impressed that it contained more good things than I had expected. Especially number four on the list of positive things made me happy.

For once, the weather outside mirrored my good mood – it was sunny. Maybe I should pay Liev a visit. I definitely should. First of all, I had a really big hugging deficit and needed someone to hug and kiss, and second, the surfers weren't going to stay much longer, and Liev and I would have to talk about how to proceed.

My cell phone beeped. It was Liev. I answered immediately. "Hey, Lee!", he said enthusiastically. "Hey, Liev!", I answered, almost as enthusiastic as he had, "How are you? Why are you calling?" "I am fine, thanks, sweetie. I just wanted to ask you if you would like to go out with me tonight. I've seen a diner in Forks. My treat, of course." I beamed. That would help my hugging deficit. "Sure, of course! I'll drive. What time?" He thought for a moment. "Seven p.m.?" "Okay. I'll wait for you at my car. See you then!" "Yeah, see you!", he said happily and hung up.

It was two o'clock in the afternoon, leaving me with enough time to get ready. Actually, it would even leave me with enough time to do something other than getting ready.

Suddenly my gaze locked upon the piece of paper that Shaun had given me. The one with the Carrizo Springs phone number. Maybe now was a good time to call.

I got the phone from downstairs and waited, my heart beating much faster than before. I was nervous. Why was I nervous? Maybe because I was going to find out something about my great-great-great-grandmother.

"This is Tim Sprouts speaking, who's there?" I took a deep breath. "My name is Leah Clearwater. I think a friend of mine has announced my call?" I heard the relief that he knew what the call was about in his voice when he answered:"Yes, right! Unfortunately my grandmother, Katy, is not here. She has gone on some kind of pan-american tour and will probably not return anytime soon. She does that sometimes, you know. I am sorry. But we have told her about you. She will call you back when she's returned. She was... surprised, to say at least, when she heard your name." I was a little disappointed, but of course I didn't say so. I thanked the young man and hung up.

I really was disappointed, but the date with Liev cheered me up. And then there was something else... something this Sprouts-guy had said... about his granny having been surprised when she heard my name. That could only mean that she had heard that name before. And Leah Clearwater wasn't exactly the most common name.

I re-opened my journal to the vacation-list and wrote down:

_A woman in Carrizo Springs knows the name of Leah Clearwater_

I loved my lists. They helped me collecting my thoughts. Which was greatly needed, because my thoughts were always pretty chaotic. Although my vacation-list wasn't helping at all. I still didn't know about my ancestor, and I hadn't continued at the wolf front.

Actually, there was a lot I hadn't thought about anymore. I probably had tried not to think about all this stuff. Because who liked to think about mythical figures like werewolves and vampires?

But I would have to think about all that. This was my life now. My ex-boyfriend could turn into a wolf, and one of my best friends was a vampire. A vampire drinking animal-blood. Really weird.

What was also weird that I didn't even have a realy opinion about that. I had just accepted that Sam could turn into a giant wolf. I had shouted at him for having imprinted, but it wasn't like I was still shocked about that. It was rather cool, on the one hand. My ex-boyfriend, the black Alpha wolf. Who didn't read fantasy stories and later wished to be a part of a magical world? Although I'd rather go to Hogwarts than living in the same town as real, blood-drinking vampires.

And to be true, _that _was really creepy. Vampires. With teeth and an uncanny appetite for red human blood. Blood that was still warm. I wondered – if Jasper was the one having the most problems with animal blood, that could only mean that he had really liked drinking human blood. How did this even work, drinking blood? In movies, vampires had really long teeth which they used to bite into people's throats. But I hadn't seen any long teeth in the Cullens' mouths. Maybe they were extendable. I would have to ask Jasper one day. If it wasn't too much detail and something that he wanted to share.

In any case, it was really creepy to think that Jasper was really drinking blood. I didn't like blood at all. Seeing my own blood – or somebody else's, that didn't matter – always made me feel dizzy. Red and sticky wasn't what I liked. Nurse or doctor would never be a job for me. Too much blood. Apparently.

I was still amazed that I didn't care much about one of my best friends being a blood-drinking – well, I didn't want to say monster, because in my opinion, Jasper wasn't one, but others would say so, especially those stupid three guys who called themselves a pack – creature. I really didn't care much. I wasn't indifferent. Not at all. I _did _think about all those victims that had lost their lives because of vampires like Jasper. And I felt sorry for all those families that had mourned for their parents, grandparents, children and friends. But I felt sorry for people like Jasper, too. Once bitten, they hadn't had any chance of returning home and living a normal life. And they were forced to drink the blood of a race they had once belonged to. I didn't think that many vampires thought about that, but still...

I went to the bathroom to take a shower, but the door was locked. "Seth!", I shouted, "Hurry up!" "I'm sorry!", a voice came from the bathroom that definitely didn't belong to my brother. It was Abby. I hadn't known she had slept at our house. I envied my brother. And then I remembered that I would have a date tonight. That brightened my mood.

Fortunately Abby didn't need much longer, and I could go into the room. I showered and then dried my hair. But then I stood ten minutes in front of the mirror. What should I do with my hair? Leave it open? Tied back into a ponytail? Braided? And why did I think so much about it? I remembered my first date with Sam. I had spent an hour in the bathroom back then, only deciding on my hair and make-up. Then I had spent two hours in front of my closet trying to find something to wear. Needless to say that I hadn't found anything. I had shouted at Mom, picked on Seth and had almost smashed my mirror before finding a red dress from Mom's youth.

Alright, so this was my normal behavior. Although – I hadn't needed that much time when I had met with Makah-Alex. Which brought me to a serious diagnosis: I liked Liev a lot more than I had liked Alex. In fact, I liked Liev almost as much as I had liked Sam back then, right before our very first date. And that was really bad. Because opposed to Sam, Liev would have to leave. And if I was falling in love with him, that was going to be painful.

Yes, I had told Sam that I didn't love Liev. And on the Quileute Days, that had been right. I still didn't love Liev. _But_ I was falling in love with him.

Liev was one of the nicest guys I had ever met. He was handsome, on top of that. Although 'handsome' was pretty subjective. I thought Liev was handsome, but another girl might very well think he was not. Still, I was pretty sure most girls would consider my boyfriend as handsome.

I smiled at my own reflection. My boyfriend. It really felt nice to say that.

And then my smile faded. I would have to end it before it got serious. Too serious. I was pretty sure I couldn't handle losing another important person.

I got dressed, choosing a pair of Rosalie's jeans, one of her shirts and the creamy-white chucks. I had decided to leave my hair unbraided so that the long black curls would just fall down my back.

Unfortunately I wasn't too happy about my looks today. To be exact, in my opinion I looked very ugly today. Of course I knew that this wasn't true, but I supposed many girls thought like that a lot. Thinking I was ugly made me angry, and so I stormed out of the house ten minutes too early, calling out to Mom I would be home late and then running to my car.

I hadn't considered that my car had mirrors, too. So I continued looking at myself and critizising my looks.

Liev appeared in front of me two minutes too late. I wasn't so keen on punctuality, but spending fifteen minutes with critizising myself was rather depressing.

He kissed me rather carefully, as if he wanted to be extra careful around my house. Then he handed me a rose. I smiled. "Thank you", I said and kissed him on his cheek. Then I unlocked my car. "Get in", I smiled at Liev, and we drove to Forks.

I really hoped I wouldn't see any of the stupid Forksians, especially Isabella. I hoped she was doing something with Edward far away from Forks. Weird how she must know about the Cullens being vampires and still going out with one of them. Maybe she didn't care, like I did. Or she was just naïve. Probably the second. I didn't want to be like Miss Annoying Swan.

We entered the diner and immediately got a table. Forksians liked to go to this diner on week-ends, but there weren't many of them tonight.

We sat down opposite to each other and ordered coke and burgers. Liev looked as if he was making sheep's eyes at me. That felt nice. I had missed that kind of a boy's attention ever since Sam had broken up with me. And to be admired by someone like Liev raised my confidence.

I couldn't help but to stare back at him, with the same gaze with which he was looking at me. He probably was falling in love with me, too. That wasn't good at all. We had to end it before both of us returned home too broen to do anything.

"You are so beautiful", Liev smiled and took my hand, "I am so lucky to be your boyfriend." Dinner came, and we ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't that we had nothing to say. It was that it was beautiful to just sit here, watch the sky darken and spend time together. Oh, and to eat. Date at a diner was a great date. "I am so glad that _you _are my boyfriend", I smiled back, and for a minute we just smiled at each other.

I didn't want to talk about the end of summer. I was pretty sure that even if he came back to La Push next year, a lot would have changed. What we had now was probably then long gone, and we wouldn't be able to see each other in that year. Write and talk on the phone, but everything else... no.

So I didn't want to end what just had started. But I knew that we had to.

Sommer love wasn't something beautiful and great. Summer love was undesirable. Summer love was the worst thing on Earth.

Whatever Liev and I were going to do, there was something we shouldn't do under all circumstances. We shouldn't tell each other that we loved each other. Oh, and we should definitely not have sex. But looking into Liev's eyes made me realize that both would be difficult.

Damn. Apart from true legends, vampires and wolves, I would never have thought that this summer would become so exciting. Especially after last summer. Although I preferred the trouble I was having with my relationship to Liev to breaking up with Sam.

Not wanting to talk about our relationship, we talked about movies and school, the weather and the Quileute Days. When dessert came, we had arrived at politics, and even here, Liev and I had pretty much the same opinion. After dessert, Liev paid, and we left the diner hand in hand.

It felt strange to hold hands with Liev. Both of us seemed to cling onto each other, as if we were afraid to let go. And I was afraid. Because who would let go a person that seemed to be perfect? Suddenly I wished I would be able to imprint on Liev. But I couldn't. I wasn't my ancestor.

We got into my car, but neither one of us seemed to want to go. Both of us knew that we had to talk about the future of our relationship, and, as both of us knew as well, that our our relationship had no future. I cursed the United States for being so huge. In other countries, one could visit one another without losing a fortune.

We were holding hands above the handbrake and just stared out of the window. It was raining, of course. Why should Forks ever present me with a starlit, cloudless sky?

Liev cleared his throat. "Leah... you know, I would have never thought so, but... You know, when I first saw you behind the counter of that store, I was suddenly on cloud nine. I've never seen a girl more beautiful than you, and I could not believe that you really wanted to be mine. See, I know it all started as a summer romance, and people say that those never last, but I also know that I have fall-" I kissed him before he could say the fatal words. Of course I knew how he felt for me, and he probably knew how I felt for him, but saying it out loud would be worse.

He opened his mouth very slowly, and our tongues touched. The magical sparks appeared and formed a "Leah, you're srewed" right above my head as Liev removed my shirt and my bra. I almost ripped his shirt from his body, climbed to the passenger seat and onto Liev's lap. His warm hands touched my body, and my skin felt electrified. His touch turned me on, his warmth turned me on and his kisses turned me on. I didn't even care that Forksians walking through the street would definitely see us. I just wanted him to pull me closer, to take off my clothes, to love me... to make love to me. I missed the touches of a man.

I leaned into the kisses, brushed through Liev's hair and carressed his back. Then I leaned back, and he began kissing my breasts. I moaned, not wanting him to stop...

… and then I gently pushed him away.

He looked a little confused. "Have I hurt you?", he asked. I shoo my head and returned to the driver's seat. It felt a little awkward to sit there half-naked next to a boy. "Sorry", I muttered and started the engine. "Are you okay, honey?", he asked again. I nodded. I couldn't tal. I felt embarrassed, and I wanted to keep my desire low. Because I wanted Liev. I wanted Liev right now. But I couldn't hurt myself again.

"Do you want to talk later?", he asked, and I nodded. Amazing how he knew what I was thinking. What I wanted. Most guys would be throwing a tantrum now. Unfortunately that made me want Liev even more.

Silently we drove back to La Push, not even holding hands. Only half-way through the woods I realized that I was still half-naked. I quietly asked Liev if he could hand me my shirt, which he did. I stopped the car and put the shirt back on, but didn't continue driving after that. "Are you okay, baby?", Liev asked again. I didn't know. I probably was okay. But I didn't feel like that. I turned to him and smiled a little sad smile. "Liev... you do know that summer break won't last forever, don't you?" Suddenly his face looked the way I felt. He nodded. "And you do know that you surfers will go home soon, don't you?", I continued. He nodded again, looing even more miserable. "So there probably won't be any chance for us keeping up this relationship, wouldn't you agree?", I said, almost choking now. I hated this kind of talk. Instead of saying all this, I wanted to be with Liev on the back seat. But I felt we had no other choice.

He nodded carefully, but looked as if he didn't want to agree. "So...", I took a deep breath, "What would you do?" Liev didn't look at me. "I know what you want to say", he said miserably. I felt miserable, too. "Liev... I... I just think we should stop right here. I'd feel – I'm going to feel horrible when you leave, so I don't want to be even more involved than we already are. I'm sorry for being so egoistic, but maybe you can understand that I don't want to get hurt again." Liev nodded. "I know. Me too. You're right. Stop here and remain friends, right?" I smiled at him, tears in my eyes. He really understood me. We were the same, so to speak. He knew my thoughts, and I knew his. Leaving Liev now was better than leaving Liev in two years – because leaving Liev felt almost exactly as watching Sam leave.

Liev wiped my tears away. "Don't cry, Leah. It's better this way. You and I, we both know that." I smiled at him. The tears had stopped. We just looked at each other for about ten minutes. Those ten minutes seemed like eternity to me.

"Let's go home then", Liev finally said, and I drove back to La Push.

I didn't see Liev for the next two days, but it probably was better that way. We both had to think and to accept what we had decided, and seeing each other would have been contraproductive. I began to realize that we had, in fact, pulled the emergency break before both of us had been too deep in love for a good-bye, because now I knew that I had really fallen in love with Liev.

I didn't leave the house for those two days, and that made my parents worry. Especially Dad was irrationally scared of me returning into the depressive state after Sam's break-up. Mom was too rational to worry like Dad, but she kept on reassuring me that this decision had been right. And Happy-Go-Lucky-Seth just told me that I usually made the right decisions. Which brought me to the conclusion that they were right – I had done the right thing, and I would be okay. And Liev would be okay, too. The time had been right.

I met Stella on Tuesday at my house, and she told me that Liev thought pretty much the same. Another proof that the couple Leah-Liev would have worked. But Fate seemed to have something different on her mind for me. Something even more perfect? Maybe, if the pack continued growing – totally possible, as there were currently seven bloodsuckers in town – somebody would imprint on me. But did I really want that?

Truth was, I didn't know what I wanted at all. I had only one big goal. I wanted to find out about Leah Clearwater the Older. She had been our storyteller, but she had never told her story. Now I would do that for her. I would tell her story and make sure no one would ever forget about it.

Seth knocked on my door on Wednesday morning. "Breakfast, Lee! Do you want tea or coffee?" "Tea, please", I said quietly and logged into my email-account. Not that anyone would ever write to me, but once in a while, I had to delete all the spam. Maybe the lack of correspondence would change after this summer vacation. After all, Stella would get my email-address.

I logged out and walked downstairs. "Hey Seth", I greeted my brother, who was sitting at the table and ate a sandwich. "Morning, Lee." He looked tired. Abby had probably spent half the night at our house. "Seth, do you know how much longer the surfers will be staying?" Seth had gone to the beach with Quil and Embry yesterday and had talked to the surfers.

Seth shrugged. "I think they said something about next Monday. But I could be wrong. I didn't really listen to them when they talked about leaving." "Why not?" Seth shot me a weird glance and then returned his attention back to his cocoa. "What?", I demanded, knowing exactly that my brother wanted to say something. "Well... I talked to Liev..." My eyes almost popped out of my head. "You what? Seth... why?" Seth sighed. "I just wanted to know how he felt about ending this relationship." "And?" "He said he's sad, but he knows what you mean and he feels the same way. He just fears that you won't be able to remain friends because you think too much about being a couple." Damn. Liev knew me too well. "He says he doesn't care. He's happy when he just can look at you. He says he'll work it out that both of you can talk like being friends." The situation was awkward. I had never broken up with someone before, and definitely not with someone I was still in love with. I was sure just seeing Liev would make me want to kiss him and touch him. It was probably good that they weren't gonna stay much longer. Although this thought put tears in my eyes. Not only because of Liev, but also because of Stella. "Leah, you're okay?" My brother looked at me with a worried expression. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that... well, you probably know what I mean." I smiled at my brother. Seth nodded. "You really like him, and you feel happy. But you know you don't have a chance to continue what you have started." He handed me a handkerchief. I hadn't realized I had started crying. Stupid tears. "Sorry", I sneezed and emptied my cup of tea.

In the afternoon, I had to work. I drove to the _Lonesome Creek Store_ and watched the surfers for a few minutes. I could see Liev from up here, and I immediately turned round to enter the store. It was too sad to watch Liev.

Logan greeted me and left the store again, so I was all alone. Fortunately there was enough to dor today. New goods had arrived, and Logan had left me with the task of putting all of them onto the shelves. That would take a while. The only problem was that it wasn't a difficult task, so I also had enough time to think. And thinking wasn't good.

The door bell rang, announcing someone entering the store. I looked up from the shelf I was currently working on and saw Liev. Awesome.

"Hi!", I said. He jumped. Apparently he hadn't seen me. He smiled. "Hi, Leah!" We didn't hug. I wanted to, but I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to hug him without kissing him.

"How are you?", we both asked at the same time. We laughed. "I'm fine", Liev said, and I nodded.

"So... when are you planning to go home?", I asked. "Sunday or Monday, we're not really sure yet." "Don't you have a plane to catch?" Liev nodded. "We do, but it's scheduled for Monday evening, so we're trying to find the best time of going to Seattle." I looked out of the window. "So that's just a rented car?", I asked, pointing at the little bus. Liev grinned. "Nah, that's Natty's car. She loves to drive across the USA, so she will bring us to Seattle and then drive home alone. She always does that." "Ah."

Interesting. Across the USA, all alone in a big van... that sounded kind of romantic. I admired that woman.

"I'll come and visit you Saturday night", I said. Liev nodded. "That's what I was going to ask you. We're having a good-bye barbecue Saturday evening, and we'd like you to come over. Without you, our summer would have been much less fun." He winked at me. "So will you come?" I rolled my eyes. "Dude, haven't I just told you I was gonna visit you Saturday evening?"

He grinned. "Right. Okay. Well... see you later then." He was about to walk out of the door, but then stopped. "Have you found out what you wanted to find out about your genealogy? I mean, have you called that woman from Carrizo Springs?" I smiled and nodded. That Liev had remembered this was yet another proof that we would have been a great couple. I surpressed my upwelling tears and smiled at Liev. "Yeah, I have, but she wasn't home. She'll call me back. I hope." Because if not, I had no idea how to find out about Leah the Older. "She will", Liev reassured me and patted my arm. The touch was electrifying. Both of us felt that. That was not good at all. Touching him made me want him. And wanting him was bad.

His hand rested a little too long on my arm, and then both of us jumped away from each other when suddenly the door bell rang again. Sam entered the store. "Oh!", he said, amused and not the least bit hostile, as he had been on the Quileute Days, "I didn't want to get between you... Don't let me bother you." I growled at him. Liev said:"See you later", winked at me and left the store.

Sam grinned at me. "Seemed like you were having a lot of fun before I got between you." I rolled my eyes at him. "We weren't, idiot." Sam's smile faded. "Are you in trouble? Has he done something to you?" I rolled my eyes again. "Yeah, sure! I'm pregnant and he told me that he's already married! Jeez, Sam! Of course he hasn't! He's not you, remember?"

Sam didn't look very happy. "Leah... you know I'm just worried about you... He doesn't seem like-" "Stop talking, Samuel! You have no idea about Liev and me. No idea at all", I hissed. His face suddenly seemed softer and he looked concerned. "Something's changed, hasn't it?"

I looked at him for a second. It was really bad when your ex-boyfriend still knew your soul and body better than you did." Sam wasn't supposed to know me anymore.

Sam sighed. "You love him", he stated.

I stared at Sam. How could he have guessed that so easily? He probably knew me even better than I had thought.

I didn't want to agree. I just couldn't tell my ex that I was in love with another boy. Especially when I had told him on the Quileute Days that I was _not _in love with Liev. I didn't know what had changed. Maybe I had just tried not to admit that I was falling in love with him.

"It's not that easy", I finally managed to say. Not that it was any of Sam's business, but he had already guessed what I was feeling.

Sam sat down on the counter. He looked almost exactly like the Sam who'd been my boyfriend, only older and with short hair. But he had the same expression on his face that he'd always had when he'd worried about me. Damn. That made it easier for me to tell him what was bothering me.

"Tell me", he said, pointing at the space next to him. I hesitated, but then I sat down and looked onto the ground. We were quiet for a while, and then I said:"I love him. I really love him, I think. I didn't want to, but-" I felt tears in my eyes and choked. That was my ex here. Did I really want to tell him how I felt? Didn't I want to hate him? Hate him forever and ever and ever? Curse him to death?

Part of me wanted that. I liked to call that side Darth Leah. Darth Leah was an evil bitch with no pity for anyone, a person that was furious and aggressive and dangerous.

But that part was hidden inside of me these days. I had put Darth Leah there when Jacob and I had become friends. The nice side was my daily personality now. And this nice side, as much as it had been hurt by the break-up, wanted to be nice to Sam. Maybe he really worried about me.

_Maybe he loves me, _the light side thought.

_Bullshit_, Darth Leah replied.

_But he worries about me_, the light side continued.

_He just wants to calm his conscience_, Darth Leah snorted.

_Oh, shut up_, the light side said, and then it was silent in my head.

"Leah, it's okay if you love him. Why are you worrying?" I sneezed and wiped the tears away. I would not cry in front of my ex.

"Sam, he has to leave, have you forgotten? I didn't want to fall in love with him because I knew it would be over after the holidays. And in the beginning, I just had a crush on him! But Liev and I – you should have seen us! It just fitted. He knows what I'm thinking, and it feels like I know him, too. He makes me happy! I want to kiss him and to touch him and to hold him. I want him to be my boyfriend. But they are all going to leave La Push next week. And Liev lives in Wisconsin! And his college is far away from here, too. It's just been a summer romance." "And now?", Sam asked, looking at me as if he really was interested. I shrugged. "Well... we broke up before we got too serious. You know, we went to that diner in Forks, and I stopped the conversation when he was about to tell me he loved me. That's when we decided to end our relationship." I couldn't hold back my tears now. Sam looked helplessly at me. Finally, he wiped my tears away and laid an arm around me. "That was the right decision, Leah." I shot him a very evil glance. "Not because of the things I said on the Quileute Days!", he defended himself quickly, "I don't know what my problem was on that day. I think my wolf somehow didn't want you to walk around with a pale-face." I snorted. "Oh, so your wolf also couldn't give me your clothes without kissing me, right? Sure, Sammy, blame it all on the wolf." He looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What did you say?", he asked. But I knew he had understood me perfectly. "Anyway", he continued after shaking his head, "I wanted to explain why that's been a good decision. You would have only hurt yourself, and you would have hurt him, too. You live too far away from each other to maintain a relationship, and you've been right to end it before your heart got too involved. I know it sounds impossible now, but you will stop loving him one day not too far away from now." "Oh, like I stopped loving you?", I couldn't help but say. Stupid Darth Leah. Sam looked at me, trying to figure out whether that had been an ironical statement or the truth. I grinned evilly. Sam slowly shook his head. "And here I actually tried to give Leah Clearwater some advice", he grinned, but I knew he was hurt. Which made me angry in turn. Where had he gotten the admission to be hurt? Right, from nowhere.

Dart Leah had smelled blood and was slowly coming out. She had another good idea how she could be mean to Sam.

I snorted. "What?", Sam asked, and now he really showed that he was hurt. I shrugged. "You know what Dad said? He said that maybe, if the pack continues growing, somebody will imprint on me." Sam looked alarmed. "No!", he exclaimed before he could stop himself. That was when Darth Leah cast her barbed hooks. "What do you mean, no?", I asked with an angry tone in my voice, "You don't want me to be happy with some other guy? You still care about me? Is that why you kissed me, because part of you still loves me? Oh, Sammy, that is sooooooo sweet, really. I can't wait to tell Emily."

Sam began shaking and stood up. He looked pissed. "That's not it, and you know that! One can't even talk to you normally! Would you please just listen to me before you make assumptions next time?" I snorted again. "Oh, so there is a next time, Sammy? That is really cute. Really cute that you think I give you a next time."

"LEAH!", Sam's voice boomed through the store. I didn't flinch a bit. I was not scared of the big black wolf or big copper Sam – although I had no idea why. Instead, I looked at him expectantly. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. He stopped shaking and sat down again. "Jeez, Leah, you have your period or something?"

Damn. He really knew me too well. Darth Leah had her best chances of coming out when I was in a certain phase of the female cycle.

"What I wanted to say", he began again, "is that I want you to be happy. I just think that the one who could make you happy has to be someone very, very special. Someone who's better than everyone else. Better than Liev, better than me..." I snorted again. "Oh, the great Samuel Uley finally accepted the fact that he isn't the most perfect boyfriend on the planet! I am so proud of you." Sam rolled his eyes, but a small smile appeared on his face. "Leah, you see, you are a queen, and I am a mere peasant. That I have imprinted on Emily has only shown to me what I had always suspected – that you're too good for me. You are perfect, and I haven't been the one for you."

_Maybe he's right!_, the light side inside of me exclaimed.

_Yeah, sure. Very likely_, Darth Leah snorted.

_But isn't this nice of him to think that he wasn't perfect for me?_

_Oh, yeah, very nice._

_Okay, what's your problem now?_

_Your stupidity, obviously._

_I don't get what you mean. Have you listened to him? He thinks he's the one at fault, not me!_

_Have _you _listened to him? It means pretty much the same. You're not the one that fits to him. Where's that any better? _

_Oh, you are so ignorant. You can destroy every good feeling._

_So it feels good if he says you're not the one for him?_

_He said he wasn't the one for me!_

_Same thing, really. Although..._

_What now?_

_He's right with one statement._

_Which is?_

_I'm too good for him._

_Oh, just shut up. You're like Kayla._

Darth Leah laughed. _Bullshit. I am a lot worse._

I looked at Sam, who looked as if he was in pain. "I don't know", I finally said, putting Darth Leah behind bars, "I always thought you were pretty perfect for me... And I miss you, Sam. Sometimes I look at you and wish you hadn't turned into a wolf. Because I know I would have been happy with you."

Sam looked onto the ground. "Lee-Lee... can you ever forgive me?"

I stared out of the window.

"I don't know, Sammy. I don't know."

On Saturday after this incident, the day of the surfers' good-bye barbecue, I baked the Clearwater apple pie to bring it with me to the party. I was feeling a little awkward, but I would walk there with Jacob, which made me feel better. Jacob talked about this and that, but mostly about Seth, Quil, Embry and cars. I thought more than once about telling him the incident with Sam on Wednesday afternoon, but I didn't do it. Somehow, I felt that this was something I couldn't tell around because it sounded too stupid without alluding to imprinting.

"What are you bringing?", I asked when Jake had finshed a story of how Quil had fallen into the ocean after he'd had laughed about one of Embry's funnier jokes. "Rice salad", Jake said proudly and showed a bowl to me, "Have made it myself. What have you made?" "Apple pie." Jake clicked his tongue. "Cool."

We arrived at the beach where the surfers sat around a camp fire. They were making hot dogs and talked loudly. When Stella saw me, she jumped up and ran towards me to give me a hug. Liev joined her, and soon, I had hugged most of the surfers. The food was placed on a small camping table that was loaded with food. I was getting hungry just by looking at it. Luckily we could start eating immediately. This time I stayed close to Jacob and Stella so that I would be prevented from flirting with Liev. Fortunately that was pretty easy today, as Stella and I had to talk about much. After all, we had to exchange phone numbers and addresses and stuff like that.

"I'll write to you as soon as I get home!", Stella promised me.

"I'll invite you to my birthday party!", I told her.

"I'll try to come!", she said enthusiastically, and I had to smile. This summer had brought me one thing for sure: friends.

Stella was now telling me how inspiring this vacation had been for her when I caught Liev looking at me. "Sorry, Stell", I said, "Please excuse me for a second." Stella nodded, and I walked to Liev. "Can we talk?", Liev asked. I agreed, and we walked a little further away from the party. "So...", Liev began, but he stopped. He looked as if he wanted to take my hand, but didn't know if he was allowed to, and so he didn't. Too bad. So I took his hand and played with his fingers. That seemed to encourage him, and so he tried it again:"What I wanted to tell you is that... well, I want you to know that this has been the best summer of my life. You're the most beautiful girl I've met, and you're funny, and smart and friendly, and I'm really glad that we've met. Thank you for this beautiful time." He kissed my hand. I turned red and stammered:"No, Liev, thank you. Thank you for making this summer awesome. I love you, and not only for that."

_Youve said it, you stupid, ignorant girl!_, Darth Leah exclaimed furiously. Apparently my bars hadn't kept her away.

_If that's what I'm feeling..._ The light side in me was happy.

_I thought we agreed on NOT saying these words so we wouldn't get hurt! We're doomed now!_

_Not more than without saying it. _

_Oh, what the hell is wrong with you? You are nice to Sam, you say I love you to Liev... Do you want to get hurt? Because if you do, I have a really great idea: Go jump from a cliff._

_I'm afraid of heights._

_Exactly. _Darth Leah snorted.

_Would you please shut up? I'm trying to have a conversation here!_

Darth Leah snorted one more time and then was gone again.

Liev drew me closer, and suddenly we were only a few millimeters away from each other. I could smell his breath. It smelled of chewing gum, salt water and steak. Oh, how badly I wanted to kiss him, to taste his lips, feel his hands, his body... "I love you, too", Liev whispered, and then he kissed my-

No, not my lips. That would have been too boring. We had already done that. And we had broken up, so why would we kiss the lips? Exactly! No reason for that at all!

He didn't kiss my cheek either. That was Jacob-style, and Liev wasn't Jacob. And so Liev invented a new kind of not kissing my lips.

He kissed me on the forehead. He. Kissed. My. Forehead. MY STUPID (EX?) BOYFRIEND HAD KISSED MY FOREHEAD!

Hadn't seen that one coming. Of course it probably had been the best option to kissing my lips – but why _hadn't _he kissed my lips? GAH!

We walked back to the party, and Stella shot a photo of me and Liev in front of the ocean. She promised me to send me a copy, which made me very happy. I already knew what I would do with it. I would put it on my wall, right next to my stupid ancestor.

We made lots of other photos this night. A picture of Stella and me, one of Stella, Liev and me, one of Jake and me, and one of all the surfers together.

I promised myself that all of these photos would end up on my wall.

The end of the party came too soon. They had decided to drive back to Seattle the next morning and spend the night in Lucas' house. Unfortunately that meant I had to say good-bye now.

"Thanks for calling the family in your hometown", I told Shaun when I hugged him. "I'll send you copies of the newspaper articles, if you're interested", he smiled. I nodded enthusiastically. "Please do that and don't forget!" He shook his head and winked at me. "Don't worry."

I said good-bye to Anka and Harry and then to Anna. "Shaun likes you", she said in a little bit of a threatening tone. "He likes you more", I reassured her. Anna beamed at me, and I turned to Chrissi, the girl that both Lucas and Jake had flirted with. She took her time to tell me to take care of Jacob. "He's a handsome guy, but a little naïve. Please take care that no girl breaks his heart."

_Yeah, Isabella Swan should watch out for Darth Leah protecting her protegé._

Your _protegé?_

_Mine and mine alone!_

I told Lucas to take care and then was taken aside by Ben. "Hey, Leah, thanks for keeping Liev away from me. We would have been the chaos cousins." He winked at me. I rolled my eyes. "Glad I could be of your service." "Yeah. Anyway, I hope you're not too sad about us leaving." "I am very sad!", I protested. Ben nodded. "I feared so. I will have to be nice to Liev when we're back home. It's no fun to be mean to heartbroken people." "Why are you mean to each other?", I asked. Ben shrugged. "He's my cousin. What other answer do you need?" We hugged, and then I was drwan into another hug by Nathalie.

"You keep this whole thing running, promise me that." I grinned. Bossy Natty was fun. "You're the Alpha, Leah. Never forget that. Men are too stupid to do anything. When everything falls apart, it's us women who have to take over control. We're the true Alphas." I nodded and smiled. "Good luck with the Army, Major Cole." That made her beam. Funny how such a simple statement could make someone happy. Maybe it was because one was acknowledging a certain aspect of the person. I had gotten a thrill out of people calling me "Mrs Uley" when Sam and I had still been a couple.

Saying good-bye to Stella and Liev was much harder. Liev tried to hold back tears – pretty cute for a guy – and Stella cried. That made me cry, too. "Bye!", Liev said manly and pulled me into the longest hug I'd had in a long time. He didn't let me go for more than five minutes, and even after that, Stella had to pull me away. "I love you", Liev said, and then he walked away. I could think of only one reason for that. He probably didn't want me to see him crying. It was cute to think that he couldn't bear saying good-bye to him. Unfortunately that left me not being able to tell him I loved him, too.

I turned to Stella and opened my mouth, but she said:"I'll tell him." Awesome. She knew me. And that after only a month of being my friend. I was proud. Stella was one of the best friends I had ever had. Almost as great as Rachel and Rebecca. Or maybe even better – because with the Black twins, I would have never been able to talk about being in love with Jacob or being friends with Jasper. Stella was neutral, I could talk with her about everything. I would miss that.

She hugged me. "I'll call you, I'll write to you and I won't forget this summer!", she promised me, "Scout's honor." I rolled my eyes. "You've never been a scout." She looked at me secretively. "You can't know that. Maybe I have been a scout in my secret life." I winked at her. "The one where you're James Bond or the one where you are an alien?" Stella thought for a moment. "The one where I was an alien disguised as James Bond disguised as a scout." We both laughed. And then we both started to cry. "I'll miss you!", I said. "I'll miss you, too. I'll try to be here for your birthday, I promise." "Call me when you're home", I said. "I'll call you once a week." "Sen me your pictures!" "I'll try to draw more." "Take care!" "You take care." We hugged again, and then Jacob drew me away from the beach.

I didn't talk all the way back. I was too sad. I had told Stella I didn't have many friends, and that was true. With Stella gone, I would have no one else to talk to. To really talk to. Somebody neutral. The US really were too huge.

"See you", Jake said, looking a little bit worried. I nodded and hugged him. Then he walked off into the darkness.

Up in my room, I just stared at the ceiling. Why was I so sad? This summer had been much better than the last one. Last summer I had spent the eintire time in my room, either crying or screaming. But this summer had been more than awesome. Liev had helped me forgetting that I still missed Sam, and he had made me forget that I really, really liked Jacob. But Liev was gone now. In a few weeks, school would start again. I didn't want school to start. I didn't want to see Kayla, or happy Jared and Kim, or all those other people. I loved summer vacation because it meant I didn't have to see my classmates.

But maybe school would make me forget about Liev. After all, it was my last year. After that, I would go far away and never come back. I had already decided I would go to a college down south. Maybe even Texas, just to tease Jasper a little. Maybe I would get a scholarship – I was doing pretty well at school, and I was a Native American. And after college, I would marry somebody nice, sometimes visit La Push and otherwise forget about Sam, the wolf pack and the vampires. Okay, maybe not about the vampires. I liked Jasper too much.

The last weeks went by pretty fast. I worked almost every day now, and the money went straight into my college fund. I didn't meet anyone, although Jake often visited me at the store. I talked to Jasper once or twice, but we couldn't find a day to meet. And Stella and I spent lots of time on the phone, too, but she also had to prepare for college – which she found very exciting because the whole surfer group was about to go to the same college. Except for Bossy Natty, as I found out. Stella promised me to tell me everything that would happen to her friends. I wished I could already go to college as well.

On Sunday, fourth of September, the very last day of my summer vacation, I was still in my pajamas when the door bell rang.

I opened the door. Jacob stood there, carrying a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of iced tea. "Wanna end the vacation how we started it?", he asked. I had to grin. I knew why Jacob was my best friend.

I smiled at him. "Scrubs?", I asked. He beamed. "Sure!" I took his hand, and we went into the living room, where I turned on the TV.

Jake laid an arm around my shoulder as wer were watching the fights between Dr Cox and Jordan. I liked Jordan. She was my favorite character of that show.

"You know, Lee, that was a pretty awesome summer", Jake said after a while. I nodded. "Yeah, it was."

That was only half of the truth. Life-changing was a better description. After all, I had found out one of my best friends was a vampire, I'd had lots of interaction with the wolf pack, and I'd even had a boyfriend.

I just hoped my last year of school would be calmer.

**When you decide to review, please let me also know if you think I should put the rating up, as this surely won't stay the last time that I mention certain things. Thanks!**


	35. My Life Is Just Amazing

**My thirty-fifth chapter! And it begins where my first chapter also began... the first day of the new school year. Unbelievable that I needed 34 chapters to portray a whole year! Fortunately the next 'year' contains both _New Moon _and _Eclipse_, so that'll be enough to write about.**

**I don't own Twilight.**

**Hope you like this chapter!**

**EverySilverLiningHasACloud: That sounds like a hilarious dream! But now I'm curious: What kind of bra exactly doesn't he wear? Oh, I love nonsense dreams :) And you won't have to kill Jasper, as you will see in chapter 36. I could never let him leave Forks without saying good-bye to Leah!**

**MeFromMars: Vielen, vielen Dank für deinen tollen Kommentar! Ich bin ganz rot geworden, danke für das schöne Kompliment :) Ich hoffe, meine nächsten Kapitel werden dir auch gefallen und du bleibst bis zum Ende dabei :) Daumen hoch für Deutschland! :)**

My Life Is Just Amazing

_Yay! Finally the last year of school! I can't believe I'm a senior now! Just this year, an_ _then I will be free. Free to go wherever I want, free to do whatever I want, free to live my own life. Free to love, to marry, to have a family. _

_I miss Liev very much, though. I wished he wouldn't have had to leave. He hasn't called or written even once, but I can't be angry with him. I am way too sad to talk to him. I'm hurt, he's probably hurt, and we are both devastated. Gosh, I miss him._

_But... IT'S MY LAST YEAR OF SCHOOL! And I have a feeling that this year is gonna be much better than the last._

_Go Leah!_

Just after I'd finished writing this entry, somebody knocked at my door. "Leah", my brother said, "Come on! We're gonna be late!" I looked at my cell phone. Damn, he was right. Maybe I shouldn't be late on my first day of my last year. And I had to get Jacob on time. Although he probably would be late, too. Jacob wasn't exactly the most punctual guy.

I took my bag and went out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I was full of energy and couldn't wait to get started. "Leah!", Dad shouted from downstairs, "You're not supposed to-" I ran downstairs with a huge grin on my face. Dad stared at me. "Forget about it", he then said smiling, "Have a nice day, sweetie, and take care of your brother. It's his first day on Senior High." Right, Seth was starting as a Freshman. He was impatient. "Lee, come on! I told Abby to wait for me, but she won't if we're not there when school starts!" I rolled my eyes and he drew me to my car. Seth was really unbearably happy. Although... I wasn't feeling too bad, either.

Five minutes later we arrived at Jake's house, and Jacob jumped into my car. "Morning, Lee!", he grinned and kissed my cheek. Then he turned to Seth. "welcome to Senior High, little brother." Seth beamed, but I raised an eye-brow. "He's _my _little brother, you moron. Unless Billy wants to tell me something." Jacob suddenly looked very serious. His facial expression was similar to that of Billy when he was acting as our tribe's chief. "All men and women are brothers and sisters", he said with a serious tone. Then he winked at me, and both he and Seth broke out into roaring laughter. I rolled my eyes. "Jacob, I will not only begin to call you Second Biggest Jerk In History again, but I will also promote you to Biggest Jerk In History." Jake bowed. "Thank you for that honor, Chief Leah." Now all three of us started to laugh, and I parked at a good spot right in front of the school.

Abby came running towards us, and Seth gave her a long kiss. Suddenly I felt reminded of Liev, and saddened, I turned away. "Ew", Jacob said, but he grinned. When Seth had let go of Abby, I hugged the younger girl as well. I really liked her. "How are you?", Abby asked, "Glad that you only have one year left?" I nodded. "Oh yeah. How are you?" She smiled broardly. "I'm feeling great!" She took Seth's hand. "Come on, Seth, we have to hurry!" "Have fun!", I shouted after my little brother, but he was already too far away to hear me.

Jacob grabbed my arm. "Shall we? School's not gonna wait for us, you know?" I smiled and followed Jake into the building. As usual, I walked to my locker to put my jacket inside. I didn't realize somebody was opening the locker next to me until Jared's voice said:"Hello, neighbour." I turned to him. He was smiling a huge friendly smile. "How was the rest of your summer?", he asked. "Pretty good", I answered, only half lying. I forced myself not to think about Liev. Where was he now? Which college did he go to? I shook my head in annoyance of myself and then asked back:"And yours?" "It was okay. Have you calmed down?" I looked confused. "Have I been aggressive of some sort?" Jared grinned sheepishly. "No, no. I mean because of the wolf pack stuff." I smiled. "I'm totally fine, Jared. You can be whatever you want to be." "And? Have you found out about the trigger?" I nodded with a huge victorious grin on my face. "Sure." I bowed towards him and whispered:"Vampires." Jared looked impressed and nodded once:"So hopefully now you know when to be careful." I nodded again. "Every time I cross the Cullens' house or see them in Forks." I tried to sound as serious as I could. I did not care about the Cullens being vampires at all. Jasper was one of my best friends. But then, his name was officially Hale, and his true name was Whitlock, so he technically wasn't a Cullen.

Jared looked at me, surprised. "Exactly. I'm glad you know. Now we don't have to worry about you anymore, Sam was a little nervous sometimes." He patted my shoulder, but before I could ask him why the heck Sam should be nervous about me not knowing that the Cullens were vampires, he asked:"Can I count on you sitting next to me in English again this year?" I shrugged. "Aren't you sitting next to Kim?" "I do, but I have two sides, you know? Besides, Kim and I aren't exactly geniuses in English. You, on the other hand..." He grinned aheepishly, and I had to laugh. "Alright, why not. After all, I don't want to end up next to Kayla." "You were friends once, remember?", Jared grinned. I nodded. "Yeah, and she was an awesome friend, talked behind my back and left me alone when I needed friends the most." That was to say, the day where everyone had thought _I _had destroyed Sam's stuff. Funnily enough, the person who had been responsible for that had been my boyfriend this summer.

_I told you NOT to think about him anymore_, Darth Leah muttered in my head.

_I know, I know! I'm sorry! Won't happen again_, the light part answered.

_The hell you will._

I shook my head to get the two voices to shut up, crazy person that I was, and smiled at Jared. He smiled back and said:"I guess I see you in homeroom then." He winked at me, closed his locker and walked away. I was mystified. Jared was nice to me. Weird. Maybe Sam had told him to be nice. In case I decided to do something stupid. Like meeting Jasper.

I closed my locker and followed Jared into our classroom. Kim sat in the back, with Jared on her right side, and waved at me. Apparently I was supposed to sit on her left side. Quickly I walked to the table she was pointing at. Everything was better than sitting next to Kayla. No teacher would be able to prevent the bitch fight. Because I wasn't going to act like I liked her.

Kim gave me a hug. "I can't believe we're in senior year! This is so awesome! I cannot wait for prom!", she exclaimed. I tried not to think about prom. Kim would have someone to go with her, no matter what. Jared had _imprinted _on her. He would be with her for the rest of her damn life. And I had just lost someone I had really loved.

Why couldn't I just stop thinking about Liev? Why couldn't he just be deleted from my mind? Why had I fallen in love with him? Why couldn't this feeling be gone by now? Why was it always me who had to suffer from heart break?

"Aren't you glad about being seniors, too?", Kim asked when I didn't say anything. I nodded. "Oh yes. Can't wait to get out of here." She could decide for herself now whether I meant the school or La Push. "I'm so looking forward to the week with the Nootkas", she continued, "I hope you're still okay with us sharing a hut?" I nodded. I was so glad that I didn't have to be anywhere near Kayla for the study trip, and I could already see the cow glancing to Kim, hoping she could share a hut with her.

Jessica and Kayla had also stopped being friends. I didn't really know why. Rumors said that it had something to do with a guy, but since I wasn't friends with both of them anymore I couldn't be sure. Although I could imagine Kayla fighting a friend over some random boy.

In any case, that meant that if Jessica, Kim, Abby and me went into a hut, Kayla wouldn't have a chance to get on our nerves.

I got my new schedule and saw that we still had history. Well, Mr Cauldwell had been pretty slowly, and he had told us he wanted to teach about the Civil War in senior year. I was excited. I wanted to know about Jasper's time. Maybe that would make me get to know him better.

The first lessons went by pretty fast, and then it was lunch time. I was curious about what Seth would tell me about his first day in Senior High. And I was glad I wouldn't have to sit alone at the lunch table.

In the cafeteria, I met Jacob and my brother, who still seemed pretty excited. "Abby's already getting her lunch", he told me with a huge grin. Jacob grinned at me. "You're sitting at a table with us, of course. We're cooler if we have a senior in our group." I narrowed my eyes. "Oh, so that is the reason why we're friends, right?" Jacob nodded enthusiastically and winked at me, and I had to laugh.

We got our lunch and sat down at a table that Abby had reservated for us. Seth looked proud, and Jacob was only hungry. Quil and Embry were still missing, but maybe that was better.

"Hello, Leah!", somebody called from across the cafeteria. I looked up and saw Carlie and Hannah, Quil's and Embry's prom dates from last year's junior prom, waving and smiling at me. I waved and smiled back, a little confused. Why were so many people suddenly so nice to me? I hadn't caught anyone talking about me behind my back even once, but in English, I had heard two classmates talking about Kayla. Was it possible that people had forgotten about Sam and me? Was I finally able to return to the state of popularity I had had before Sam had broken up with me?

I began eating when suddenly someone hit my shoulder with sheer impossible strength. I almost choked on a piece of bread and turned round with a hopefully furious look on my face. Of course "someone" were Quil and Embry, and now both were grinning sheepishly at me. I took a deep breath and smiled widely. And to my own astonishment, it wasn't even half faked.

Both boys drew me into a long hug. "Leah!", Embry beamed, half-joking, "We haven't seen each other much this summer! That's really sad." Quil nodded. I grinned. "It's not my fault that you've spent all your vacation with Mr Al Cohol." Quil and Seth both looked away, and I could tell my brother was turning red, but Embry grinned:"He can be very nice if you're nice to him." "Yeah, and he's also someone you're not allowed to meet by law." Embry winked at me and sat down at the table to start eating. Somehow all the guys at my table seemed to have developped quite an appetite. "Leah, do you still want that roast beef?", Embry asked at one point, and before I could say anything, he had already taken it. Boys in puberty were really frightening sometimes. Unfortunately my brother proved that theory when he said loudly:"Look, sis, I can do magic!", and then swallowed a huge bite of roast beef. "I can make food disappear", he said with his mouth full, and even I couldn't help but to laugh.

That would certainly become a fun year, I thought when I drove back home after school. I had brought Jacob home and was now listening to Seth's optimistic plans for the next four years. Dad wasn't home. He had left a note, though, saying that he was at a council meeting. Mom was still at work, and she wouldn't return until seven p.m. I wondered if that would leave me with the cooking, because I didn't want to cook right now. I wanted to go to my room, do the homework I had already gotten, then stare at the photo of me and Liev for a little sad while before writing an e-mail to Stella, inviting her to my birthday in November. Plane tickets didn't become cheaper, and the earlier she bought one, the less money she would have to pay.

I decided to go into my room. But when I sat down in front of my desk, I couldn't concentrate on my stupid homework. For some reason – and when I looked at Liev's picture, I was pretty sure what this reason was – my mind didn't settle on the tasks in front of me. I played with the pen in my hand and then took out my journal, only to draw hearts and lines. I was so not creative these days.

Because Liev's face wouldn't leave my head, I decided to go outside to walk around a bit. I walked downstairs. "Seth, I'm outside!", I shouted into the living room's direction, because Seth was watching Wrestling there, "Where's the umbrella?" "Dad's probably taken it!", Seth shouted back. I rolled my eyes. It was raining again, and of course Dad had taken the only umbrella our family owned. That left me with the ugly rain coats.

I put mine on and left the house. It was raining cats and dogs, but I could still see some tourists walking around. Stupid people, who had come to La Push without bringing anything against the rain.

I had walked only two streets when suddenly my cell phone rang. The number was Jasper's.

"Hello?", I answered lightly. "Hello, Leah!", Jasper said. He sounded relaxed. "How are you, my dear Quileute friend? You sound happy." "I _am _happy." "May I assume then that your first day of the last year has been a success?" I beamed. "Everybody was so nice to me! Like they liked me! Not that I need people to like me", I added quickly. Jasper chuckled. "But you are very likeable, my dear. Don't you ever forget that." I had to smile. Jasper was always so nice. I was glad to have him as a friend. "You've finished school, right?", I asked. "Yes, I have." "But you're not going to go to a college?", I continued. "No, I'm waiting for Alice. She's not finished yet." "And? Any idea what to study next?" "No, not yet. I've studied so much already." "How about History of the United States?", I proposed playfully. I knew that would piss him off. "Leah!", he said in a very strict tone. "Sorry", I giggled, "I know you're not exactly the type for studying your enemyy's history." He cleared his throat. "Please, the US isn't my enemy. Not anymore, at least. But you know how history is always the history of those who were victorious? So I don't want to hear about the CSA's stupidity while of course the great USA had to win." I grinned and had to think about how weird it was that I was actually talking to a real Civil War veteran right now.

"Hasn't it been weird for you? All this technological development, I mean. First railroads and photography, and then telephones and cars and computers, stuff like that." Jasper chuckled. "Well, I already knew railroads when I was a little child, and I found them very fascinating. And then I often got my image taken when I was in the Army." I was confused. "You often what?" Jasper cleared his throat again. "I'm sorry, Ma'am. What I meant is that I was often photographed. We called that 'take an image'." I giggled. "Never heard that before. Anyway, you were saying-?" "Anything else that came with the new century just flew past me. I didn't really pay attention back then, I was too focused on other things. But when I awoke from that phase of my existence, I got a huge shock. Alice had to explain a lot to me. I think she sometimes found me very hilarious." I giggled again and said:"Okay. I just wanted to know." We were silent for a while.

"And what are your future plans, if I may ask?", Jasper said after a few minutes. I was now walking towards the beach. The waves looked gray and angry today. Not a good weather for surfing. Surfing... Liev... I felt something that reminded me of tears prickling in my eyes and quickly pushed the thoughts of my ex-boyfriend aside, before Darth Leah and the goody-goody-side got into an argument again. Sometimes I seriously asked myself if I was crazy.

"Sorry, what did you say?", I asked. "What are your future plans?" "I'd like to study English and Creative Writing so I can become an English teacher... I think. I don't really know about the teacher part, but I'm very sure about English and Creative Writing." Jasper chuckled, and I was pretty sure that he was smiling, too. "And do you already have a college on your mind?", he continued to ask. I shrugged, although Jasper couldn't see it. "Nah, not really. I want it to be as far away from La Push as possible. Maybe somewhere down south." Now I could practically hear Jasper smiling. "You would really like it there, I am sure of that. The Southern states are really beautiful. Especially Texas – no advertising here", he laughed, "But of course, if you could go to an Ivy League college, I would do that, if I were you." I laughed hysterically. "Yeah, sure, Ivy League. First of all, you need the brains. And second of all, you need the money. Actually, I am very convinced that you need more money than brains to get into one. And I don't have that much money, so... I don't even think about it." Jasper cleared his throat. "You are a Native American, you might be eligible for a scholarship. And then you always should remember that you have a rich friend. A billionnaire, even." I laughed even more hysterically. "Right, I'll let you pay for my life, that sounds just like an awesome idea for a really good friendship." Jasper chuckled. "I would do that, darlin'. I have more than enough money, and you are my friend." I rolled my eyes and hoped he knew me well enough to know that I had done that. "You're cute, Whitlock, but what would you get in return? So, either I'm a prostitute, doing whatever she has to do to get the money she needs for her education, or I'm stealing." "If I give you the money, it won't be stealing, honey." I took a deep relaxing breath. "Well, you know, let's just not talk about that right now. I've just started my senior year, I don't really want to think about how to finance college... actually, thinking about that makes me feel sick. Tell me about your day." Jasper laughed again, and then said:"Well, my day was very boring, thank you for asking, Ma'am. I won against Emmett in Wrestling, Arm-Wrestling, and Wrestling again, and then Alice showed me her new clothes, and that's it." I could hear somebody was talking to him, but I couldn't make out who it could be. "Sorry", Jasper said when he got back on the phone with me, "That was Rosie. I have to hang up now, I'm sorry. We're going to hunt, and I must confess that I'm dreadfully thirsty. It was great to talk to you, Ma'am, I hope we'll see each other again soon. Good-bye, darlin', and take care." "Bye, Jasper. Take care, too. Have fun with the deer." He chuckled, and then he hung up.

I looked at my cell phone and then put it back into my pocket. I was now standing at the beach. The waves looked wild and ferocious today, but still the ocean calmed me.

Today had been a good day. School didn't seem too bad, actually, when you had friends. I couldn't believe it myself – I was actually looking forward to tomorrow.

What a strange feeling that was. One that I hadn't had in a long time. Of course there had been days where I had been looking forward to tomorrow, but that had been a specific date back then. Now I was looking forward to a metaphorical tomorrow. To my future. And I hadn't done that ever since Sam had broken up with me.

And that made me smile.

The next day in History, Mr Cauldwell told us about this year's study trip to Nootka land. "Please go as the whole group to the secretary and tell her who will be staying with who in one cabin. You have until the end of the week for that." Kim looked meaningful at me, and Jessica turned round to nod at Kim. Apparently the two of them had spoken about the cabin group. Thank God. No Kayla with us.

"The study trip will start on Friday, the 23rd of September, and please note down that you all have to be here at five o'clock in the morning. We expect to arrive at our destination Friday evening. On Saturday, we are going to meet with some Nootka elders who will tell us about their culture, and then we'll cook a traditional meal. On Sunday, there will be a quiz that will lead you through the town nearby our camp. Monday you will visit the local tribal school, and Tuesday, we're going to visit the Nootka museum. Wednesday we have a surprise for you, and on Thursday, the last day, we'll have a campfire with the Nootka and Makah students. On Friday, the 30th of September, we'll head back. Any questions?" Mr Cauldwell looked expectantly at us.

Jared raised his arm. "What should we pack?" Mr Cauldwell looked for something on his desk. Too many papers were lying there. I thought that maybe he should be a little tidier. After five minuted he pulled out a crumpled piece of paper and read out:"You need towels, rain-proof clothes and rubber boots, and then clothes for both warm and cold days. Bed linens will be there, and please don't forget your shower gel, shampoo, tooth paste and tooth brush. That's it. Oh, and something to write, some pens and paper." Jared nodded, and I noted down what Mr Cauldwell had said. I was pretty sure Seth would forget half the stuff. My brother was really good in that.

Mr Cauldwell looked around the room. "Any more questions?" We all looked at each other, but no one raised their arms. Mr Cauldwell nodded. "Alright. Don't forget to tell your cabin group to our secretary." And with that, he ended the lesson.

Kim came towards me. "Let's fetch Abby and then go to the secretary so that this is settled." I nodded. Jessica joined us. "Hello, Leah", she smiled at me. I smiled back. "Hey, Jess. How are you? How was your summer?" She rolled her eyes. "It was great, but then... well, you can imagine it." I nodded. "Kayla drama." Jessica grinned. "Exactly." "You have to tell me some time." She nodded. "Sure! The study trip will give us lots of time, I bet."

We met Abby in front of her locker and drew her with us to the secretariat. She seemed to be extremely happy about us wanting her to be with us in a cabin.

The secretary was Quil's mom. She smiled at us. "Hello, girls. Are you here for the study trip?" We nodded. Quil's mom took out a pen. "So, your names then... Jessica Fisher, Kimberley Jackson, Leah Clearwater, all seniors, and Abigail Walker, new Freshman, right?" Abby nodded, but I corrected:"Freshwoman, to be more precise." Abby giggled. Quil's mom smiled and looked at us:"Okay, got it. Have fun, girls. Oh, and Leah?" I had been about to leave the office, but turned round when Quil's mom called my name. "Please have an eye on Quil. He always has to do something stupid." I nodded. "Sure, Mrs Ateara, don't you worry." I winked at her and ran after my cabin group.

Jessica grinned. "So... that means we don't have to put up with Kayla. Congrats, girls!" We all laughed. Abby said:"I have to go back to Seth, see you later!" With that, she was gone. I turned to Jessica and Kim. "What do you think, what's the surprise Cauldwell talked about?" Kim shrugged. "Maybe we'll all have pizza at a restaurant." I rolled my eyes. "You spend too much time with Jared. You're hungry all the time." Kim hit me and smirked. "Leah, you might wanna be careful with your words. I might have second thoughts on you in my cabin." I grinned back. "Oh, so it's your cabin? Did you buy it?" I winked at her and then said:"Alright, see you later, you two."

I walked away, feeling great. Kim and Jessica were nice to me! Like we were friends.

Yes, I was definitely adding them to my friends' list. Somehow, that list kept growing this year. Could finally at least for once Fate have mercy with me?

At the end of the week, I had to admit that I had had more fun in school than last year. I had friends with whom I could talk during lessons and lunch, and I wasn't feeling alone anymore. People had stopped talking about me behind my back, and even Paul grunted "Hi" every day.

I prayed to Fate to leave it that way because for once, I was really happy.


	36. Bella Drama

**And now, finally, welcome to New Moon! We have reached the second book, and I must say, I rather like this chapter. So I hope you'll like it, too!**

**I'd like to thank everyone who either reviewed, alerted or favorited the story so far, you are the girls (and guys? Probably not ;)) that keep me writing! **

Bella Drama

Ring ring.

What was that?

Riing riing.

That couldn't be my alarm clock, could it?

Riiing riiing.

Gah! I wanted to sleep! It couldn't be morning already!

Riiiing riiiing.

Wait. That wasn't my alarm clock. That was my cell phone!

Riiiiiiing riiiiiiing.

I jumeped up and grabbed my cell from my nightstand. I could see the time – quarter to midnight- I had been so tired today that I had gone to bed at around nine o'clock. And now somebody was calling me.

"Yes?", I answered and yawned.

"Leah!", an almost terrified voice said. I needed a few seconds to realize that it was Jasper.

"Hey!", I said, a little confused, "Are you okay?"

He sounded very much as if he was trying to calm himself when he answered:"Leah, I am so sorry... I am... I didn't know who to call... I'm so ashamed of myself..." "Shhh", I muttered, "Everything is fine. Shh. Where are you?" "In the forest. Not too far away from your border, I think... I can smell the wolves..." He choked. "God, what am I? Leah, please... I am so sorry... I feel so... I am..." His voice trailed off, but I was awake now. Something was seriously wrong. "Alright, Jasper, wait a moment. I'll come to you." That seemed to frighten him. "No! Stay where you are! Don't come anywhere near me!" "Bullshit", I said, "Give me one good reason why I should leave you alone." "Because I'm a monster", his answer was. He sounded so convinced that it broke my heart.

I sighed. "Jasper, are you alone?" "Yes", he whispered. "There's a reason why you're calling me." "Yes", he whispered again. "And I think it means that you are alone, but that you don't want to be alone, is that correct?" "Yes",he whispered a third time, "But-" "None of your family is with you?" "None", he said. "Alright, then it's set. I'm coming." "Leah-", he moaned, but he sounded much less convinced than before.

"Tell me exactly where you are", I demanded. His resistance crumbled, I could feel that. He really seemed to be desperate. "I don't really know myself. Maybe I can... no, I can't come anywhere near people. Leah, you really shouldn't-" "Shut up!", I exploded, but fell silent right away. I couldn't risk anyone hearing me. "Wait for me at the cliffs right outside Quileute land." When he didn't answer, I bellowed:"Understood, Major?" "Yes, Ma'am!", he answered quickly, and I grinned to myself, "Yes, I'll be there."

I hung up and opened the window next to my bed. Right in front of it was a tree – the one Sam had always climbed when he hadn't been allowed to visit me. I took a deep breath and looked down. Gosh, how I hated heights. I felt dizzy. Tears stung in my eyes. But then I reminded myself that something was wrong with Jasper. I grabbed my car keys and my cell phone and put both into a small bag. Then I climbed onto the window sill and took another deep breath. I grabbed the two branched that were the closest, took yet another deep breath and climbed out of the window. The tree was perfect for climbing – it had many branches, and Sam had once shown me how to climb up and down. I tried to remember his steps, and very carefully I climbed down the tree.

I exhaled relived when my feet touched the ground. After one quick look at the clock on my cell, I tried to walk as quietly as I could around the house to get to my car. Suddenly I realized that I was still in my pajamas – a pair of Seth's boxershorts and a short top. I also wore no shoes. Stupid, stupid, stupid me! Maybe it was better if I headed back to get dressed properly. But something was seriously wrong with Jasper. He sounded almost depressed. If I went back into my room now, it would take another twenty minutes until I could start looking for my vampire friend.

_That would be too late. Go now_, my light, nice side said, and for once, Darth Leah didn't argue.

It was raining, and I had already started to freeze. I could kill myself for not getting dressed. I would get sick. Or probably not. I rarely got sick.

I reached my car and got into it, praying to every imaginable force the engine wouldn't be so loud. I turned the keys, and the noise of the engine almost left me deaf. I knew I was just imagining my car to be so loud, but it still almost gave me a heart attack. I hoped that Mom and Dad wouldn't go into my room while I was absent.

I drove out of the village and through the woods. I was nervous. Never before had I snuck out of the house so late at night, and that for an unknown and inexplicable reason. When Sam had been my boyfriend, Dad had at least known where I had gone to.

I drove past Forks and sped up. I wanted to know what was wrong with Jasper. Something really bad had happened, if he was out there alone, with not even Alice by his side.

The road ended suddenly, and I stopped the car. Great. Now I had to walk through the rest of the forest. And I had no jacket and no shoes! I was so getting sick this time.

I ran through the thick forest. I didn't care at all about the wooden splinters and pine needles, but I could feel them piercing my feet. Branches whipped against my face, and it was raining cats and dogs now. I really hoped (for his sake!) that it was something important. Why hadn't I asked on the phone? Right, because he had sounded as if he needed someone with him, not on the phone.

I found my pace and rushed through the forest, a little stunned by how well I could run. Was I dreaming? Yeah, that was the only possible explanation. I was dreaming, and soon I would wake up in my warm and cozy bed.

I slowed my pace. I was really freezing now, although I had ran for some time, and I had tears in my eyes. What if I didn't find Jasper? The huge dark forest wasn't exactly friendly-looking, either. I remembered the strange smell and the red blurr I had seen in the forests around La Push when I had hiked there with Liev, and suddenly, I was very scared. I started shivering, and not only because of the cold.

I stopped and looked around. I couldn't see much, though. It was really, really dark. "Jasper!", I called out, "Where are you?" I hoped that vampires had good ears and continued walking.

Suddenly a strange feeling crept up my back. A feeling of danger. I supposed that Jasper wasn't too far away from me now. At least I hoped so. For any other dangerous creature in this forest I was a welcoming and easy-to-get meal.

_Please, let it be Jasper_, I prayed.

I almost shrieked in horror as I passed the same sweet scent I had encountered in the forest of La Push. That couldn't be... this other vampire couldn't be here... and then I sniffed again. With a sigh of relief I noticed that this smell was different. It smelled a little like chocolate and peaches – while the one in La Push had smelled more like ginger. It was NOT the vampire from La Push. It was Jasper.

I followed the trail, and soon stepped out onto the cliffs. The ocean was roaring against the rocks, and in the darkness I could see a faint shadow, standing right at the edge.

"Jasper!", I said loudly. The shadow turned round. "You shouldn't have come", Jasper said. His voice sounded much different than usually. It was deeper and hoarser. I shrugged and walked towards him. "It's too late now." Jasper looked at me. "Is it?"

His eyes were totally creepy. They looked like pitch-black holes. I had seen him with black eyes before, but this- this was different. This was _dangerous_. A little small voice that became louder every second told me to run.

_We're not running from _Jasper, a voice inside of me told me. It weren't my two normal competing voices, I knew that. It was something different. And it was stronger than the voice that tried to talk me into running.

So I ended up ignoring it and focussing on my vampire friend.

He touched my face with his ice-cold fingers. "You have scratches." I tried to smile. "I hope I'm not bleeding."

Jasper shrank back in horror. "You should thank God for that! Oh Leah, why have you come? I'm so... thirsty." He said the last word with a weird expression on his face. A hungry look was in his eyes, and when he looked at me again, I realized that he was trying to figure out whether he could drink my blood.

I slung my arms around my body because I was shivering again, and to be honest, it wasn't only because of the cold and the rain. But I'd have never admitted that to Jasper. But in wrapping my arms around me, Jasper snapped out of his hungry trance and said with a rather normal voice:"Oh, Ma'am, you must be freezing. Here, take my jacket." He got out of his light grey jacket and handed it to me. The jacket was cold – of course, Jasper didn't have any body heat. I got into the jacket and hoped that it would warm up soon. It had a furred hood, too, which I quickly pulled over my wet hair. That felt much better – although my feet were still cold.

"Jasper, what's happened?", I asked, making a step forward to take his hand. He backed away. "Don't touch me! I'm a monster, Leah. I don't deserve all this. I don't deserve this money, this family. I don't deserve you being my friend. I don't deserve Alice! I'm a monster. I can do nothing but kill." I took another step forward, and this time he let me take his hands. He looked at me with a horrified expression, but didn't move. "Jasper", I said with a calm voice, "Tell me what's happened." Jasper nodded and closed his eyes as if to concentrate.

"Today – now, now it's already yesterday – was Bella's eightteenth birthday. September 13." I kept myself from rolling my eyes. I didn't like Isabella. "Alice had planned a party. She loves to do that, you know? So she had decorated our living room with roses in glass vases, and with hundreds of candles, and she had even bought a cake big enough for a huge family, which is very strange since we all don't eat that. Except for Bella, that is." He smiled shortly at me, and although it looked more forced than real, it calmed me. "We had bought presents for her, and although Bella doesn't really like being the center of attention, she came. I could feel that she was a little nervous, but also happy. She doesn't want to get older, but I think she still was happy about her birthday. In any case, she started opening her presents. Because I was curious, I came closer than I usually would do. You know, Bella has an extraordinary scent, so to speak. It's", he choked once, "delicious. I hope you can forgive me for my choice of words." I didn't say anything. I wanted him to continue. "Well, because of that scent, I usually try to stay away as far as possible without being impolite. But I wanted to see her opening Edward's present. She was about to open the paper when she-" He hissed and stopped. A very sad look lay in his eyes. "Leah, I am so sorry! I shouldn't have called you! You had to sneak out of her house, and now you're here with me – a dangerous, blood-drinking monster! I am endangering you! How could I have been so stupid? You're so precious to me, and yet I make you come to me in the middle of the night to a place far away from the next town or even street-" "Jasper", I said, and when he didn't listen, I repeated, "Jasper, stop. I told you to wait here for me, just as I told you I would come, no matter what. Stop worrying about me. I'm worried about you." "Leah", he said, and it sounded as if he was crying, only that I could see no tears. I felt helpless. Poor, poor Jasper. I slung my arms around him and pressed him close to my body. He stiffened, and a quiet growl escaped his throat. "You shouldn't-", he began. "Shut up", I told him. "You don't know what happened!", Jasper said desperately. I rolled my eyes. "Well, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? Paper cut."

Jasper nodded. It felt weird to have him so close. His body felt ice-cold, and my instincts told me to run. But there was something different, too... not only a frightened feeling, but a feeling like being – being okay. Being safe. Being _home_. But it felt as if this wasn't exclusively mine, but somebody else's. Like I had two personalities, and one was feeling totally fine with hugging a vampire.

"It wasn't only a paper cut", Jasper then said and pushed me a little away from him. I looked at him. He looked as if he was doomed. "It wasn't that I hadn't drunk anything for almost two weeks. I should have gone hunting before the party. Before Edward tried to keep me away from Bella, he pushed her further away into a table with crystal vases, and she fell right into the shards... Emmett held me, and then I was escorted out of the room. Bella had a huge cut in her arm, and it was practically...", he started panting, as if the memory made him thirsty again, "... flooding out of the cut. Her... blood, I mean." He exhaled, and I suddenly felt very, very vulnerable. "Delicious... warm... red... blood..."

He wasn't himself anymore. His wild eyes suddenly looked very unfocused, but he stared at me, and all of the sudden, I was very frightened. Then I remembered that he could feel what I was feeling, and that it would hurt him to feel I was frightened. I calmed down and looked fiercly into the thirsty vampire's eyes.

With all my strength, I hit his cheek. "Major Whitlock!", I said loudly, "Pull yourself together now, sir!"

His unfocused, wild eyes focused on me again, but instead of wild, he looked horrified now. He backed away. "Oh God! Leah, have I hurt you? Are you okay? Should I bring you to the hos-"

"JASPER!"

He fell silent.

"Calm down! Everything's fine, I'm not hurt at all. I'm worried about you."

He looked at me. "You are worried? Not scared?" I smiled. "Not scared at all. And now please calm down. You haven't hurt anybody." He closed his eyes for a few seconds and then opened them again. "Alright, Ma'am, I'm calm."

I exhaled. "Good." We both were silent for a while. Then Jasper asked with a voice that sounded much more like his usual voice:"Why are you worried?" I rolled my eyes. "_You _are calling in the middle of the night, telling me that you're sorry, telling me that you're a _monster_, and now you're asking me why I am worried? I thought you knew me..." Jasper stared at me. "How can you be so... so nice to me? How can you talk so... so ironically about all that?"

I made a step closer again. "I'm not talking ironically. I'm trying to ease the situation." I pulled him into another hug. Jasper didn't seem to mind, and he pulled me closer. He really seemed downcast and sad. Did he really think that he was a monster?

"I'm a beast", Jasper muttered desperately into my ear, as if to answer my question, "I'm a blood-thirsty beast. I'm not supposed to exist. I should not be. That should not have happened. I'm a monster. I am-" "Shh." I pressed my fingers on his lips. "You're not a monster, Jasper. You're no beast. You are just a vampire, Major, a Confederate who was barred from returning home by vampires. It is not your fault something's happened today. Edward just shouldn't have fallen for a human."

"Leah", Jasper moaned, "You can't say that. You can't decide for who you fall. It's me. I can't control myself. I'm bad." I shook my head. "No, Jazz." He looked at me with a confused expression. "Jazz?" I shrugged. "I needed a nickname. Anyway, you're not bad. Things like that can happen. That's the risk when you go to a house full of vampires. Don't blame yourself. Will you promise me that? Don't blame yourself." He looked at me, and his eyes didn't seem so wild anymore. He didn't smile, but somehow I knew that he felt better.

"Alright, darlin'. I promise." I smiled:"What do you promise?" And now finally he flashed a thin smile at me. "I promise to you that I won't blame myself. Thank you for coming. Really, thank you." His cold lips touched my forehead, and he said:"I'm going to bring you back to your car now. I am sorry for having called you in the middle of the night." I smiled. "Don't be. We are friends, right? I would do this again anytime."

He smirked and then said:"Alright, climb on my back. You'll be at your car right away." He winked at me and pointed at his back. I took a deep breath and climbed onto it. "Keep hold of me, and don't let go. Oh, and hold your breath", Jasper chuckled. I nodded, held my breath, and then all of the sudden, Jasper grabbed my legs and started running.

My eyes widened in shock. The trees were only a grey blurr, and it was as if a big rock lay on my chest and kept me from breathing. I was glad Jasper had told me to hold my breath.

And then he stopped, and I realized we were directly in front of my car. Jasper let me down and kissed my hand. "Goodbye, Leah. I hope to talk to you soon." He started to walk away, but I called him back. "You've forgotten your jacket!", I shouted. He came back. "Keep it, darlin'. I don't want this lady friend of mine to be cold." He winked at me, and then he was gone.

I stared after him, standing there with my naked, ice-cold feet and my boxershorts, and only Jasper's jacket provided a little warmth. I could feel that this time, I wouldn't get lucky with getting sick. I could already see the flu waving at me. I nodded a friendly hi and got into my car.

Lady friend.

Weird phrase, in my opinion. And why was this sounding so familiar coming from his mouth?

The next morning, when my alarm clock woke me up, I thought for a second I had just dreamed. Only when I saw the jacket on my floor, I realized that last night really had happened.

I couldn't really remember how I had made it back home. I only knew I had been back in my bed at three a.m., but that my heart had been pounding so fast that I hadn't been able to fall asleep until 4 a.m. I just hoped no one had realized I had been gone.

I was tired – no, exhausted – and my legs felt sore. I could feel that I still had needles and splinters in my feet, and my nose was running. Great. I had a cold at the least.

Gosh, I was sooo tired! I wanted to sleep. Stupid alarm clock. I wouldn't go to school today. So wouldn't.

Mom knocked on my door. "Leah, are you up already?" "No!", I yawned loudly and pulled the blanket over my face. I could hear Mom opening the door. "Leah, come on. Are you alright?" I pulled the blanket down a little and looked at Mom. She looked worried suddenly. "Oh, dear, are you sick? Do you have fever?" She rushed over to my bed and pressed her palm on my forehead. "Mom!", I complained and yawned again. "You're not going to school today", she concluded with a serious look on her face, "I'll drive Seth and Jacob, don't worry. Now get some rest, I'll come back later." She smiled and left the room.

I turned round in my bed. Had I really walked into the woods yesterday night? To meet a _vampire_? Had I wanted to die? Jasper could have killed me!

I almost hit myself. I couldn't say that. Jasper could never have killed me. Besides, it wasn't his fault that he reacted to blood. That was a vampire's fate. He was a great friend, not a monster. I felt more than sorry for him that he felt that way.

I rolled around in my bed for five minutes, and then fell back asleep.

On Thursday I went back to school. I was still feeling sick, but I didn't want to miss too much subject matter. Everyone was looking forward to the study trip. Just a week to go! I didn't care much about it, though. I was still worrying about Jasper. He hadn't called again, and when I had tried to call him, only the mail box had answered. I had the slight feeling that something was about to happen. Something I wouldn't like. What would the Cullens make out of the situation with Bella?

Then, on Thursday night, my cell phone finally beeped. I answered immediately and was relieved to hear Jasper's voice. But when I heard what he was about to tell me, I suddenly became very, very nervous.

"Leah, we're leaving."

I couldn't believe it. Had he really just said that? "Why?", I asked confused.

"We've stayed here for far too long now. Besides, the... incident on Tuesday has shown that we should not, under all circumstances, search close contact to humans." "But where will you go?", I asked desperately. Jasper cleared his throat. "We're moving to Alaska. Without Edward. He's going somewhere else. He hasn't decided yet." Now I was even more confused. "Why isn't he coming with you? Have you had a fight? Doesn't he want to leave?" "No, we haven't had a fight. Although Rosie is very angry, that is true. But it was Edward who almost pushed us to leave. It's because he feels responsible for what's happened on Tuesday. He doesn't want to jeopardize Bella even more, so tomorrow, he's going to break up with her and meke her forget us. He's heartbroken himslef, but he has no other choice." I snorted. "Make her forget you? Can he do that? I thought he could only _read _minds?" Jasper had told me about the Cullens' abilities once. Jasper chuckled. "He will just remove everything in her surrounding that would remind her of us. And our house will be empty. Which brings me to another point- oh, wait. What is it, Alice?" I couldn't hear what they were saying for the next couple of minutes, but my mind was trying to process what Jasper had said, anyway. They were moving? Jasper would leave Forks? I understood why they felt they had to do that, but I didn't want Jazz to move. I needed at least one friend I could tell really, truly everything. I needed Jasper.

"Leah", Jasper was back on the phone, "Alice wants to talk to you." "O...kay?" I could hear how the phone switched hands, and then I heard Alice's soprano voice:"Leah, it's so nice to talk to you again! I hope you haven't gotten into trouble for sneaking out at night?" "No", I smiled, "Don't worry, nobody knows." She exhaled relieved. "Good. Thank you so much for doing that. Really. Jasper, you know, he's a little lonely sometimes. I'm there to help him, but sometimes it's better if he has someone else... Someone he can count on, apparently. I can't thank you enough for Tuesday night. There are things where even I can't help – where he won't even believe me... because I'm a vampire myself, you know? But you, you're a human, a human he can stand being around, and when you tell him he's not a monster, it's a lot more helpful. Really, Leah, I am forever in your debt. Thank you so much. If there's anything, ever, that I can do for you, just let me know. I'll hand Jasper the phone back now. Goodbye!" And with that, she was gone. I stared at my cell phone for a few seconds. She hadn't even left me some time to say something in return. "Hey, Leah", I heard Jasper's voice. He was laughing. "I am sorry. Alice is really impressed, you know." I bit my lip. "Well, can you just tell her that she doesn't have to do anything in return? And that I wish her all the best?" "Sure", Jasper said, and I could hear that he was grinning, "But back to what I was saying before Alice interrupted. Could you take care of the keys to our house, please? You know, we've lost the keys to our last house, and even Carlisle agreed that that was very annoying." I looked confused at my reflection in the mirror. "Why? I mean, why would you leave me the key to your mansion?" Jasper chuckled. "Because I trust you. If we ever want to return, we will at least know where the keys are." I snorted. "Right, unless you come back in a hundred years, then you'll have to look in my grave." Jasper fell silent right away. "Don't- please, don't say that, okay?", he whispered after a few seconds. "Please, don't say that ever again." "Okay", I agreed, having realized that it was pretty stupid to tell a friend he would most certainly outlive you. "Anyway", he continued, "I'll leave the keys in the mail box." "Alright."

We both were silent for a while. Then I said:"I don't want you to leave, Jasper." Jasper chuckled, but it sounded sad. "I've never had more trouble leaving a place, darlin'. But I can't help it. I'm sorry." "But I don't want to lose you! You're one of my best friends! You're the only one I can tell everything!" I suddenly realized that I was at the edge of crying. I hadn't known Jasper had become so important to me.

I could hear Jasper chuckle again. Was he making fun of me? "Leah, no one said that I was going to do what Edward will do. I'm not so foolish as to lose my best friend. My cell phone number won't change, I know your e-mail-address, and we can still meet in Seattle once in a while. I'm not going to abandon you. The night after Bella's birthday has proven to me that somehow, I need you. I cannot afford to lose you. Promise me to call me once a week. If you don't call, I will." "But... your family..." "They know I won't let you fall. Rosalie is the only one who doesn't understand, but I'd bet my state's honor that she is just a little jealous. You know, because you're so courageous. She calls it foolish, but I know her. She likes you, too. She hasn't had a serious bitch fight in years, so she enjoyed prom." I remembered the Forks prom this summer. Rosalie and I had thrown nasty comments at each other, but I had rather enjoyed it, and I also remembered having the slight feeling she had enjoyed it, too.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't want him to leave. He had to stay. If he was gone, there would only Jacob be left as my best friend – but Jacob didn't know about the wolves, or about Jasper. Jasper had become too good of a friend to leave me now. I started sobbing quietly. What had it been I had written down on my first day of senior year? Right:"I have a feeling that this year is gonna be much better than the last."

Well, probably not.

"Leah", Jasper said softly, "Don't cry. I won't be gone. I'm just moving. Take care. I love you." I nodded, although, he couldn't see it. "Take care yourself. Love you, too." And he hung up.

I stared at my cell phone and wiped my tears away. Something was going seriously wrong. Two of my best friends weren't around anymore. Stella and Jasper had both left. And although I was able to contact them via phone and mail, I felt left alone. When Stell had left, I had been happy that at least Jasper was still in Forks. Now my vampire friend was gone, too.

Fate was mocking me. What had I done to make her hate me?

Friday after school I went to Jacob to watch him building his car and to do our homework together. Although Jacob put all his effort into making me smile, I felt sad. It was cute though to see how ridiculously Jake behaved to get me to laugh. He tried to juggle with the tools I had given him for his fifteenth birthday and spoke with a very weird and very funny accent that was supposed to be Indian. When the hammer fell onto his left foot and he said "Ouch" in this accent, I actually did have to laugh, but still I had to think of Jasper.

"Oh, Lee!", Jacob sighed after one hour of making a complete fool of himself, "Isn't there anything I can do to cheer you up?"

"I'm fine!", I hurried to say, but I could sense he knew I was lying.

He threw the hammer away. "I'm the mighty Thor!", he exclaimed and grinned goofily at me as we were walking back to the house to make us some hot chocolate. This time I really laughed. "Yeah, right, a Native American Thor with long black hair." He petted his pony tail. "My hair is awesome, Lee. Here, feel it. It's soft." I chuckled. "Yeah, because it's hair. What did you expect? Wire?"

He grinned. "Yeah. Awesome Quileute wire. We could try and sell it on ebay." He suddenly looked at me as if he had some stupid idea. "You know, maybe that is what Sam, Jared and Paul have done to their hair!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Please what?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! They sold it on ebay as wire, for fences and stuff like that! Come on, that's possible, isn't it? Or they sold it so someone could make an awesome toupet, what do you think?"

I snorted, but had to laugh. "Yeah, right, and still they walk around as if they didn't have any money, sure."

Jacob bit his lip. "Okay, maybe you're right. But still – they are weird! I mean, what is going on with the three of them? Are they in some sort of gang, or what? I mean, they have the same tattoo and stuff..."

I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe. Could be. Yeah, why not? But what kind of gang should that be?"

"Drugs?", Jacob proposed. It was meant as a joke. I rolled my eyes and laughed with him. "I mean, remember prom?", Jake continued, "Where the three of them were arguing with that meth seller?" I nodded, although that memory was part of my subconsciousness. What I remembered much better was the kiss – and the fact that Paul (and Jared and Sam) could turn into a wolf. But yes, there had been some problem with a drug dealer, I did have a faint memory of that.

"Maybe they are some sort of protectors", I proposed, trying to keep Jake from assuming something completely wrong, "You know, to protect the tribe's children from any harm. Coming to think of it, I heard that they called themselves 'Protectors', too."

Jacob chuckled. "Yeah, right. Sam's favorite role. The protector. I think he's been exaggerating ever since he's become a member of the tribal council. O, hey Dad!", he greeted Billy, who was just entering the house.

Billy just nodded once with a very concerned face and moved his wheelchair to the phone. Jake and I looked at each other, and the both of us crept to the kitchen door to listen what Billy was so worried about. We could hear that Billy was dialing a number. Jacob put an arm around my waist and grinned at me, and then we heard Billy say:"Hey, Charlie. No, she's not here. Yes, they're gone. A note? Oh, shoot. Of course I'll help you searching. Yes, yes, I'll call Harry. Don't worry, we'll find her." He hung up and turned round to face us. "Bella has disappeared. We are going to look for her now."

Jake and I stared at each other. Bella had disappeared? Suddenly I remembered what Jasper had said:"... so tomorrow, he is going to break up with her..." Without really wanting to, I felt a little sorry for Isabella. I supposed she hadn't taken it so well – or Edward had made a really bloody mistake.

"We'll help", Jake and I said simultaneously.

Half an hour later, we were standing nearby Charlie's house, with a map and lanterns. Charlie was with us, really desperate, and Dad tried to calm him. I felt so sorry for Charlie – the woods on the Olympic peninsula were huge, and if Isabella had gotten lost...

I walked to both of them. "Hey Dad, hey Charlie", I greeted both of them. Dad laid an arm around my shoulder and pressed me close. Charlie smiled at me, but he looked very, very concerned. I really hoped we would find Isabella, but the searching party had only just formed, and it would take ages to search the forest around Forks. I looked at Dad, and he gave me a reassuring smile. Then he wrinkled his nose as if he was sniffing something, and I understood. The wolf pack was searching. That made sense. A lot of. They had really good noses, and they were fast – with them, we were bound to find Isabella.

I gave Charlie a pitying look and then asked Dad:"What's happened exactly?" Dad took a deep breath, but it was Charlie who answered me. "I came home from work, and Bella wasn't there. I found a note in the kitchen." He held up a piece of paper with a very messy handwriting that reeked of vampire. Apparently Bella had written it – and still, I wondered how it could smell so badly of vampire. Charlie gave me the note.

_'Going for a walk with Edward, up the path. Back soon, B.'_

Why hadn't she written out her name? I gave the note back to Charlie and waited for him to continue.

"I called the Cullens, but noone was there."

Obviously. But then Charlie probably didn't know much about the Cullens. I doubted he would have let Isabella date Edward if he had known Edward was a vampire.

"Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle – Dr. Cullen – is gone. Apparently he took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles."

I kept myself from laughing out loud. Los Angeles, sure. Sunny California was the last place the Cullens would move to.

Charlie took a deep breath. "I think Edward left her alone in the forest", he said angrily, but he was talking to Dad again, who had let go of me and was looking at a map on a computer.

Being free of Dad's arm, I looked around for Jacob, but he was with Billy nearby Dad and Charlie, occupied with the search.

I walked a little further into the forest. It was completely dark, no moon lit up the sky.

A new moon.

For a second I thought of the white moon wolf woman. According to legend, she was now roaming the forests in search of her lost love. I half expected to hear a wolf howling. Then I began feeling sorry for Isabella. It was utterly dark in the forest, and if she really had lost the path, there was no way of finding out of it.

Something moved in the bushes, and the next second, the head of a wolf appeared. I hadn't seen that one before. It was one of our tribal wolves, of that I was sure, but it were neither Sam or Paul. The color of the fur was different, I could see that even in the dark. That left Jared.

"Hey, Jared", I greeted the big head. The wolf nodded. "Have you found her?" The wolf shook its head. "Clever idea, to look for her in your wolf form." It seemed as if the wolf was smiling now. I raised my hand and petted the wolf's head. "You have to find her, Jared. I don't want to see Charlie unhappy." Jared winced, but then he made a sound as if he was happy. "You're glad that the Cullens are gone, aren't you?", I asked, and it didn't surprise me that Wolf-Jared nodded.

"I've got her!", I suddenly heard Sam's booming voice. I jumped. Wolf-Jared nodded at me and disappeared into the forest. I ran back to the searching party, where Sam was holding Isabella in his arms. I could see that Charlie was asking something, and then I could hear Sam answering:"No, I don't think she's hurt. She just keeps saying 'He's gone.'"

I was now next to Dad, who quickly laid an arm around me again. Charlie asked:"Bella, honey, are you all right?"

She seemed to be confused. "Charlie?" Wasn't she calling him 'Dad'?

"I'm right here, baby", Charlie answered. Sam handed Isabella to Charlie, but it had been easier for huge Sam to hold her than it was for Charlie now. He staggered a little, and Sam said:"Maybe I should hold on to her." But Charlie, who was holding on to his daughter protectively, shook his head and said:"I've got her." Dad pressed me closer to him.

"I'll go with him", Sam told Billy and followed Charlie into the house. Billy and Dad looked relieved at each other, and then Dad said:"Come on, honey, we're going home. Bella will be all right." I nodded and gave Jake a hug and a kiss on the cheek before I drove home with Dad.

At home, Dad made us a cup of hot tea, and we both sat down in the kitchen. "The Cullens really have left Forks, haven't they?", I asked after a while. Although Jasper had told me so, I couldn't really believe it.

Dad nodded. "We can only be happy about that. It means that Sam, Jared and Paul can return to a normal life soon. It is always good when the vampires are gone – why are you looking so sad?"

I looked at Dad. I was confused. Was I looking sad? "I'm great, Dad", I said, but I didn't sound convincing.

He raised an eyebrow. "Honey, is something wrong with you? Are you worrying about Isabella? She will be fine."

I seriously doubted that.

"It's better for her, anyway. Going out with a vampire is more than dangerous. She will be sad, but then she'll be fine."

For some reason, Dad thinking that going out with a vampire was dangerous made me angry. "How is a vampire more dangerous than a wolf?", I growled.

Dad looked at me, uncomprehending at first and then furious. "You know very well the difference there is!", he said in a very strict tone, "A wolf cannot kill you. With a vampire, you just need to cut yourself and you're dead, no matter whether they are vegetarian or normal vampires."

I snorted. "And with a wolf, you just need to annoy him long enough and he'll explode out of his skin. If you're near enough, that'll kill you, too. Just look at Emily!"

I could see on Dad's face that my assumption that Emily had been injured by one of our wolves - most probably Sam - was right. "And Sam would have killed himself for that! Leah, you cannot compare _us _to _them_."

I stood up, glaring furiously at Dad. "You know, Dad, in myths, vampires and werewolves are both monsters!"

I had gone too far, I knew it. Dad's look changed, and he was now examining my face. "Leah", he said, and his tone was calm, but full of worry, anger and also disappointment, "Since when have you become a defender of vampires? Is there something you want to tell me?" His eyes narrowed.

I rolled my eyes, quickly trying to find a good answer. Finally I said:"No, there isn't. It's just that you and Billy always preach tolerance and acceptance and equality, and I was just pointing out that we're not just the good guys."

"But we are!", Dad said desperately, as if he was trying to prove a point to me, "We have never killed-"

"Oh, bullshit!", I exploded, "What about Utlapa and Taha Aki? What about all the wars? Granted, we did not drink our victims' blood, but we killed them, anyway. There are no people that are better than others. There aren't. And there aren't any groups of people that are better than others, either. I'm going to bed now. Good night."

And I stormed upstairs before Dad could say anything else.

We made up the following day, but I was still angry with him. I knew that Jasper was dangerous, but that didn't mean that it had been bad for Isabella to go out with Edward. People were _falling _in love, and when you were falling, you couldn't control whether you fell onto your knees, your hands or your head.

The next Monday the teachers continued talking about the study trip, although we probably knew about everything. The only new information was that we were supposed to pack our swimsuits – I hoped they didn't plan on throwing us into the Pacific as a surprise.

The teachers who came with us seemed very nervous. I could understand that. After all, the senior high of La Push was home to the most chaotic group of people in the world. There were Jacob, Quil, Embry and Seth. No more words needed. Then we had Kayla, the school's very own barbie, and of course pack members Jared and Paul. We weren't many students after all – and that meant more chaos.

Mr Cauldwell told us again that two buses would come and get us on Friday, "at five a.m., and if you're late – we don't wait for anyone, not even for you, Kayla!" - that had been Mr Cauldwell's words.

At lunch, I met Jacob. At the moment, he always seemed so happy to see me, that I was beginning to ask myself what was wrong with him. "Hello, Lee!", he greeted me with a big smile on his lips, "You look great today!"

Confused I said:"Thanks... Are you okay?"

"Sure!", he grinned and began eating his lunch. After a few minutes, he stopped eating though and asked me:"Have you seen the bonfires?"

I looked even more confused now. "What bonfires?"

"The ones on the cliffs on Friday night."

I hadn't seen any bonfires. "Why would anyone make a bonfire?"

Jake rolled his eyes. "Because the Cullens are gone, silly. Apparently some people find that awesome enough for a bonfire."

I looked at the table where Jared, Kim and Paul were sitting. Jared saw my gaze and stared back. I just raised an eyebrow, but he shrugged and winked at me.

I sighed. "And?", I asked Jake, "Are you glad that the Cullens are gone?"

Jake looked at me in silence for more than a minute. "What answer do you want to hear?"

"You have more than one?"

Jake nodded. "One for everyone and one for you, my greatest and very beautiful friend. The one for everyone is that I don't care at all, and the one for you is that – well, I don't care much. Isabella is now available again, but I don't think I'm in the mood for playing the shrink for a lovesick girl when I can sit here and have fun with my crazy Lee", he winked at me.

Damn, was he cute sometimes. "Thanks, Jakey, that's really kind of you", I said, only half-ironically. What had happened to him? Was he in a good mood today? He actually was flirting with me! Was that possible? Why would he do that? What had changed his mind? I was confused. Maybe it was just today. Maybe he just had an awesome day. Maybe tomorrow he would lash out at me. I hoped so. A flirting Jacob was kind of scary.

Jacob hit my shoulder. "Hey, Lee! Who's with you in your cabin?" Great, I had been daydreaming. A little confused, I looked at Jacob before I understood his question. "In my cabin... Jessica, Kim and Abby. In yours?"

"Me, of course, that's the only person you need to know about", Jake grinned, "And then Quil, Embry and Seth. It's gonna be so much fun. By the way, can we sit next to each other on the bus?"

I looked even more confused now, but nodded. "Sure", I said, a little shy. He'd change his mind, anyway. He'd rather sit next to Quil and Embry, I was sure about that.

Suddenly Jake bent towards me and whispered:"Dad told me Sam tried to convince the principal of taking him with us to Nootka land. The principal said no, though. Fortunately."

I nodded. "Sam would only have played our babysitter. I would have killed myself if the principal had allowed Sam to come along." Nothing worse than your ex-boyfriend playing your babysitter.

Quil came to our table, carrying his tray of food. "Paul just told me he'd have a special eye on us. For safety reasons. Apparently we're troublemakers, in his opinion. I told him he was a troublemaker and that he should mind his own business, that stupid clown, and then he did something really weird. He began shaking, and then he ran away. I can't believe he can get that mad! Paul is a strange one..."

My friends all nodded in agreement, but I couldn't help it and rolled my eyes. I had learned that pissing Paul off really wasn't the most intelligent thing to do. Except for people who liked to be chased by wolf-men.

When I came home, I found a thick letter on my bed. Apparently Mom or Dad had put it there. I wondered who would send me such a letter. I turned it around. Ah, it was from Shaun of the surfers! What a surprise! But why would he write to me?

Carefully I opened the envelope and pulled out a letter and some papers that looked like newspaper articles.

Oh right! Hadn't he told me that he would send me copies of the newspaper articles concerning the Carrizo Springs murders? So that was what the letter was about! I couldn't believe he actually had remembered that. Shaun really was a nice guy.

I went downstairs into the kitchen to get something to drink and to eat. Then I went back into my room – with a glass of iced tea and a plate with two turkey-lettuce-sandwiches – and made myself comfortable on my bed. I took a bite of my sandwich and a gulp of my iced tea before I started reading the letter.

_Hello, Leah!_

_How are you? I've finally managed to copy all those newspaper articles for you, although I still have no idea why you would want them in the first place. Well, maybe my storytelling was just so awesome that you couldn't forget about it... who knows! But I can imagine what's going on in your mind. When my sister first heard of the story, she searched the whole archive to find every relevant information. So, it wasn't too hard to find all that stuff to copy it for you._

_Anyway, I transferred to another college now, to the same where the rest of my surfer gang is going to. And you might be surprised to hear that Anna and I are together now!_

_So... that's all about me... I hope you'll find what you are looking for._

_Have fun with the articles!_

_Best wishes,  
Shaun_

I smiled and then took a look at the articles. They were pretty long – obviously. In such a small town, things like that made headlines the size of Texas. I looked through the articles. The first was from Tuesday, the 17th of May 1921. Headline: _Jenna and William O'Connor found dead in their bedroom – housekeeper under suspicion_. Oh great, the poor housekeeper. But of course, the first one who were accused were the poor and the servants – that hadn't changed much over the decades.

I only scanned the article and found the description of the dead bodies.

_The police has informed us that Jenna and William are completely bloodless. The bodies are white , and the most gruesome detail: Their throats are ripped apart, as if some animal has killed them._

Well, that probably meant they had let the housekeeper run free. After all, they couldn't have assumed that she killed like an animal.

The next article was from Thursday, the 19th of May. This time the headline was much smaller, announcing only that the _Gravedigger has been found dead_. I realized that a gravedigger had been someone who had been on the same side with the poor and the servants in a town like Carrizo Springs – not accepted, possibly feared and always mistreated. His death had been far less important than the deaths of the O'Connors.

The third article was from Monday, the 23rd, and was about the deaths of an old couple who had been found by their granddaughter in the garden. According to the article, they hadn't only been pale and bloodless, but they also had been found with broken bones, as if something very strong had tossed them around. This detail really gave me the creeps.

The articles from June affirmed what Shaun had already told us – six people had died in the second week of June, and in the third week five more had died. The last article from that week stated the police was now looking explicitly not for a serial killer, but for an animal that could be ferocious enough to kill all these people.

According to the articles, in the last week of June four people had died, and in the first week of July, eight more people had been found dead. At the end of the killing spree, 42 people had died, and all of them had been found with ripped throats, white and bloodless. Many had been found with broken bones, as well, and there even had been five corpses that had been ripped apart in the middle. To me, that meant that the culprit must have been extremely strong.

The scales fell from my eyes. I had been so stupid! That I hadn't understood when Shaun had told us this story! Stupid, stupid me. It was so easy that I couldn't help but laugh. Well – it was easy for me, I realized after a second. For people who didn't believe in superstitious old legends, it wasn't easy at all. But for me, it was pretty obvious, now.

A vampire.

Or rather, vampires. I doubted one vampire drank the blood of 42 people in just two and a half months.

It was so easy, and I had missed it.

The victims had been bloodless – of course, because vampires drank blood!

Their throats had been ripped – of course, because the biting the carotid artery was the easiest way to drink all the blood of a person.

Broken bones? Could easily happen when a vampire was after you.

Corpses had been ripped apart? No problem for a strong vampire. Maybe two vampires had fought over one person.

Vampires. Cold Ones in Carrizo Springs. What had the shaman of the local tribe said again? - Right: The Mexican and her blond General. Could that be the two vampires that had brought so much death to the town. The Native Americans there had thought so.

And if the true culprit had been the two vampires, the light grey wolf had not been at fault. Somehow, I found that relieving.

I wanted to read the articles about the wolf when my cell phone rang. "Yes?", I answered. I hadn't paid attention to the number on the phone.

"Hello, darlin', this is Jasper speaking. How are you?"

"I'm okay", I said, "And you?"

"Everything is fine. Are you looking forward to your study trip?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Can I call you when something goes wrong?"

Jasper chuckled. "You can call me anytime you want, dear. And don't forget to call at least once a week."

I yawned. "You just have to give me a chance to do so! If you call, you will never know if I'd call, too."

Jasper laughed. "You're right. I just can get impatient quickly. What are you doing right now?"

"Oh, just reading some newspaper articles."

"And? Something exciting in it?", Jasper asked interested, and suddenly I had an idea.

Jasper was a vampire. A _Texan _vampire, to be exact. And he had told me he'd joined Carlisle's family in 1950 – so that meant he could have still been in Texas in 1921. Which meant that maybe he knew about Carrizo Springs.

"Leah?", Jasper asked because I didn't say anything, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm great. Anyway, listen, Jasper. I need to ask you something."

"Ah'm listenin'."

I had to smile at his accent. "Jazz, do you have any idea how 42 people could have been killed in just two months by vampires in one little town?"

Jasper cleared his throat. This obviously wasn't his favorite topic, but I hoped he'd answer me, anyway.

"Well, a large group of vampires could have done something like that. Maybe about 10 to 20 vampires. It depends on their age and self-control how often they need how many humans. Why are you asking?"

"A surfer friend of mine lives in Carrizo Springs, Texas, and he told me this strange story of 42 deaths in 1921. He's sent me the newspaper articles of these days, and I sort of assumed that vampires satisfied their thirst there. Do you know anything about the Carrizo Springs murders? Because I really need to know."

There was a long pauseon the other end of the phone line, and then Jasper finally said:"I have heard about them, Ma'am. The rest of us Texan vampires were very shocked that a group of our kind could make their existence so obvious. But thank God they accused that poor little wolf." For some reason, his voice sounded very sad at that point. "I know nothing specific, though. I will think about it, maybe I will find something helpful."

We continued talking about this and that, and then hung up soon because I had to do my homework, but I couldn't stop thinking about what Jasper had said about the Carrizo Springs killings.

So a group of vampires had killed all those people. A rather large group, in my opinion. I didn't know how big vampire families were, but 10 to 20 vampires sounded like a lot of mouths to feed. It was kind of creepy, too, to think about such a large gathering of blood-drinking creatures – it felt very unsafe.

And then there was this small fire of doubt in me that told me that Jasper hadn't told the truth.

**By the way, I've watched Breaking Dawn part 1 at the movie theatre. Have you already seen it? Are you going to? I must say that there were many, many, many beautiful little scenes, but that on the whole, I was a little disappointed. I liked Eclipse better! Although in BD, we finally see more awesome Leah!**

**Well, good night to everyone – in Germany, it is twenty past one a.m. right now :) **


	37. A NerveWracking Song

**Hey! I hope you all had a great Christmas, and a happy new year to everyone!**

**I'm sorry for not having updated in more than a month, Christmas is always a time of stress for me. Plus, I've outlined the rest of the story, which has taken some time, too. So now I know how The Most Awesome Life Of Leah Clearwater is going to end – and you don't :) It's going to be a lot more chapters until the end, though, that much I can tell you.**

**That reminds me – is there anyone who'd like to do a beta's job? Not so much for the writing style, grammar and spelling, but more for the content of the story. I'd like to have someone who tells me what I have already written, what might be too stupid or too romantic or too violent – someone like that. Anyone interested?**

**Also, I now have a Twitter account using the same pseudonym as on this site.**

**Lita of Jupiter: Great idea about Alice's spam list... this just might make it into the story :)**

**MeFromMars: Thank you so much! Your reviews really made my day... I feel so motivated!**

**LoverGurrl411: Thanks for the compliment :) It's nice to hear that my writing style and all that has improved over the last year – and I'm really flattered that you've read through the whole story in just one day :)**

**Thanks a million times to everyone who has reviewed, favorited or alerted my story – not only the more recent of you, but really everyone :***

A Nerve-Wracking Song, A Corpse, And A "Surprise"

It was Friday morning, quarter past five, and I stood with my suitcase in front of my school alongside the rest of the senior high students. Two buses stood there, and it was freezing. The reason why we were still waiting and NOT sitting inside the warmth of the buses was that one person hadn't arrived yet.

Kayla.

As soon as Mr Cauldwell had realized that one student had failed to arrive at the school at 5 a.m., he had announced that no student would be allowed to enter the bus.

Seth yawned loudly and laid an arm around Abby, who was freezing.

Kim, who stood next to me, cleared her throat and rolled her eyes. "That was so obvious", she said in an annoyed tone. I nodded in agreement. Around us, all students were looking around and whispered in angry voices. I could see Jacob, who was standing there with Quil and Embry. Jared was talking quietly to Paul, who nodded every now and then. Jessica sat on her suitcase and was reading in a magazine. Mr Cauldwell seemed extremely angry. I hoped he would show that to Kayla when she arrived.

It was twety-five minutes past five when Kayla's car turned up. She was the only one who looked completely awake and fully overdressed. Her face was covered in make-up, and I wasn't the only one who found her ugly: many people rolled their eyes. Mr Cauldwell was fuming, but Kayla didn't seem to notice that. I was sure that in her opinion, she hadn't done anything wrong.

Now we were finally allowed to enter the buses. I looked around and wondered if I would be able to sit next to someone I liked. That wasn't easy, because there were only three people I really wanted to sit next to: my brother (who would probably sit next to Abby), Kim (who would certainly sit next to Jared), and Jacob. And I didn't know if Jacob wanted to sit next to me.

Of course, my worries were unnecessary. Jacob grabbed my hand and drew me to a seat in front of Quil's and Embry's and behind Seth's and Abby's. I was now pretty convinced that my journey wouldn't be as calm and quiet as I had hoped. Although... they seemed tired. Maybe they wouldn't be so loud, and I would be able to get some of that sleep that I had missed tonight.

"Window?", Jacob asked, and it took me a while to understand what he meant.

"Yes, please", I answered and sat down on the window place. I closed my eyes. Seth had kept me awake for almost all the night. He had started packing only a few hours before our departure, and of course he had panicked. Because Mom was almost having a breakdown, I had helped my brother, and that had cost me a good amount of sleep.

I yawned. Jacob grinned. "Are you tired?" I nodded and yawned again. "Then sleep, I won't wake you up." He winked at me, laid an arm around me, and although it was hard to believe him, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

I woke up two hours later from singing voices. The whole bus – I realized in seconds that my bus was full of freshmen and sophomores, and that only Jessica, Kim, Jared and I were seniors – was singing:"We know a song that is a pain for everyone, a pain for everyone, a pain for everyone! We know a song that is a pain for everyone, and it goes like this: We know a song..." The only ones who weren't singing were me, Jessica, Kim and Jared. And Jacob, which was a surprise. Or not, because he was sleeping. I climbed across Jacob and walked to Jessica, who sat alone behind the sleeping Kim and Jared. I didn't know how they were able to sleep with that noise.

Jessica was still – or again? - reading in her magazine, and first she didn't realize I was sitting next to her. I asked:"What are you reading?", and she jumped.

"Gosh, Leah, you scared me!" She smiled, and I smiled back. We had never been good friends – although I had once called her and Kayla my best friends, but when no one else wanted to be your friend, you didn't have a choice. Kayla had been my friend for almost half a year – ever since it had become more difficult with Sam. But Jessica and Kayla had always been friends, ever since preschool, as far as I could remember. Ever since they had stopped being friends, I had been pretty curious as to why. Rumors about a boy had spread through the school – but hey! They were rumors, and it was better to be careful with those. They could be true – but they could also be the desperate try of a classmate to send somebody down the school's hierarchy.

"Sorry", I grinned, "Now what are you reading?"

She held up the magazine so I could see it. It was something about nature and wildlife, and I remembered that Jessica was really into this kind of stuff. "It's an article about Orca whales. It's very interesting, especially since the Nootkas have always been famous whalers."

"Ah."

Jessica grinned at me. "You don't seem interested. Anyway, was there something that you wanted from me?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, there's something I wanted to ask you. About Kayla. What happened that you don't like her anymore?"

Jessica grinned again. "Haven't you heard the rumors?"

"I don't trust rumors ever since someone thought I had destroyed Sam's stuff."

Jessica looked away. "Leah... can you forgive me for thinking that? I really like you, but back then, I ws just so confused. Can you forgive me?"

I smiled. "Forgive you? Sure! Forgive Kayla? Never. So, now tell me what happened."

Jessica took a deep breath. "Well, I had a boyfriend, and Kayla made him break up with me. You could argue that he wasn't the right one then. Still. And it serves him right that she didn't want to be his girlfriend and that she's after Paul now. Guess she just wanted me to be alone. Fortunately Paul doesn't like her at all."

I grinned. "Paul doesn't like anyone."

We both laughed. Then Jessica said:"Did you know that when you and Kayla were friends, she only wanted to get Sam to break up with you? She was head over heels for him, and couldn't understand why he loved you. I think it's pretty obvious, but she was just... you know her."

"I had already thought so", I said in a bitter tone. Kayla had always tried to flirt with Sam, but Sam had mostly laughed about that – and about me being jealous. "You're mine, and I'm yours. Forget everything else", he had always said.

"Leah", Jessica began after a while, "Why exactly did Sam break up with you?"

"He im-", I stopped before I could continue and thus reveal the tribe's best-kept secret, "I mean, he fell in love with my cousin."

Jessica didn't look convinced. "Just like that? There must have been something else... something that didn't work between you two... something that got on his nerves... you know what I mean?"

I knew exactly what she meant. I had analyzed every single one of my character traits to find out what it could have been that had Sam made breaking up with me. And I had come to the conclusion – after my assumption had been proved by the fact that Sam had imprinted on Emily – that I was perfect. I hadn't done anything wrong. I just hadn't been the right person on the whole. That was even worse, but also better.

Only that I couldn't tell that Jessica.

"Oh... maybe I was just too dominant... I think that bothered him, since he always- always acts like an Alpha." Good lie, Leah, I told myself. Hopefully Jessica thought so, too.

She did. "That makes sense", she said and smiled at me.

"Yeah, it does", I grinned. It so didn't. We fell silent, and Jessica continued reading her magazine.

"Hey, Jess", I said after a while, "I'm glad we can talk again."

She looked at me for a few seconds. Then she said:"Yeah, me too." She smiled.

"I should return to my seat now, I think", I finally said, "There's something I want to read, too."

"Do that. See you later." She winked at me, and I climbed back onto my seat.

I ate one of my sandwiches and then unpacked the newspaper articles Shaun had sent me. The kids had gotten quieter, fortunately. It was quiet enough to be able to concentrate on the reports, and so I also took my journal out of my bag. I had started to write down everything that I had found out, which also meant that there wasn't much free space left.

I had written down how I had found out about the wolf pack and about imprinting, and how I had found out about the Cullens being vampires. The Carrizo Springs murders had their own pages, and I hadn't only collected the information from the newspaper articles, but had also written down my theory of the death having been caused by a group of vampires and of Jasper knowing something about that. But as long as he didn't say anything about that, I could only assume.

Now it was time to collect information on the wolf that had been held responsible. I took out a highlighter and marked everything in the articles that seemed important to me. The first sighting of a 'monster' in the woods, then the realization that the 'monster' was a 'gigantic wolf', and then finally the theory that this wolf had killed all those people. The article that stated that the wolf had been shot dead had probably on the newspaper's front page, and there was also a picture. One couldn't see the wolf's fur color, but since it looked white on the photo, it probably had been white or some color similar to white.

A close-up showed the face of the wolf. People had forced the eye-lids open, so that it seemed as if the wolf was looking at the reader.

It was creepy to look at the dead animal. Something inside of me wanted to cry. But I was only shocked. The wolf looked similar to the one that had chased me in my dreams for a long time. And it scared me to see it on a photo. Could it be that everything was connected?

Could it really have something to do with Leah Clearwater the Older?

I dialed Jacob's home phone number. Billy answered after just a minute.

"Billy Black here."

"Hi, Billy, this is Leah, I-"

"Hello, Leah, dear, Jacob's not here, he's on a study trip to Canada."

I rolled my eyes. "I know, Billy, I'm sitting next to him."

"Oh. What do you want, then?"

I took a deep breath. "Leah Clearwater the Older. When did she disappear?"

"In the beginning of the 1920ies. You still want to know everything about her, don't you?"

I ignored the last part. "I need the exact date, Billy."

"Well...", he thought for a moment, "I'm pretty sure it was in December 1920. Yes, that's the month. You don't need the day, do you?"

"No, no. December 1920. Thank you."

"But you know that she just looked for a lonely place to die, right? You don't need to go looking for her body or even assume that she might have lived longer."

I took another deep breath. "But I do, Billy. I think she went to seek her loved one, just like the moon wolf." I didn't know who this loved one might have been. But I was sure that I knew where she had gone looking for him.

It was already dark when we arrived at the Nootka camp. I had written down everything important about the wolf and had glued its picture next to my words. I so needed this phone call from this woman.

Jacob yawned at me. "I hope the beds are comfortable, these bus seats are killing me!" He winked at me. I nodded, and we got out of the bus. Kim was leaning against Jared, who was calling someone (probably Sam, the big annoying babysitter).

"Find your group, get your trunks, and then we'll lead you to your wooden cabin", Mr Cauldwell said loudly, "We're the first to arrive. The Makahs will come tomorrow, and you have to get up at eight a.m., understood?" Everyone nodded, and I looked around for Jessica, Kim and Abby. Kim was still with Jared, and I walked towards her. She smiled at me and yawned:"Gosh, I'm so tired. Where's Jessica? And have you seen Abby?"

We found Jessica trying to get her trunk, and Abby was kissing my brother. I drew her away. "Come with me, honey, he won't let you sleep."

She grinned. "I know. He really snores loudly! Does your dad do that, too?"

I nodded and rolled my eyes. "Mom hates that."

"I do, too."

I went back to Jacob to say good night. He looked very tired, but smiled at me and gave me a big hug. "Night, beautiful. Good dreams."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Sleep well, Jakey."

Jess, Abby, Kim and I followed Mr Cauldwell to a small wooden cabin that was surrounded by tall trees. "That's yours", he said, "Leah, I give you the key, you are the oldest." He handed me the key. "Good night, girls. Tomorrow we'll meet at nine o'clock in the main house." With that, he left us.

"Yeah, right, because we've been here before and know exactly where the main house or the washing facilities are", I growled and opened the door to our little cottage.

Inside it looked like what one would call a typical Canadian wooden cabin. There were four beds, each looking inviting and warm with their plaid blankets. In one corner stood a small stove, and there was a door that led to the toilet.

I closed the door behind Abby and exhaled. "Okay, I don't want to sleep close to the door", I announced and put my bag onto the bed that was close to the stove.

Jessica shrugged. "I don't care."

"Me neither", Abby said.

"I do", Kim said, "I want the other one away from the door."

And so it was set. It didn't take long until we all fell asleep.

I woke up when it was still dark outside. A look at my cell phone told me it was five in the morning, and I could hear that it was raining outside. Great. I hated waking up much earlier than I would have to get up. I yawned and looked around the room to see my three friends still sleeping. Awesome, so they were able to sleep. While I wasn't. Why had I woken up? At least it were three more hours to sleep. I turned round in my bed and closed my eyes.

"Leah, are you coming with us? Showering?", a voice woke me. Light flooded through the windows, and I looked directly into Jessica's eyes.

"Oi!" I almost flew out of my bed. "What time is it?"

"Eight-fifteen, we have plenty of time left."

I exhaled relieved. "Thank God. Yeah, sure I'm coming with you. I gotta find my stuff, though."

We found the washing facilities pretty fast, and soon were able to dive into the streams of hot water. It felt awesome. They didn't have one big room with showers, but many little cabins.

"Hey, girls", Kim said from one of the cabins, "Does one of you have a hairdryer? Because I don't."

"Me neither", Jessica and Abby said simultaneously.

"Leah?", Kim asked, "What about you?"

"Nope. Sorry, girls."

"Well", Kim said after a second, "I don't care. I'll just braid my hair. Native American style!"

"Can someone braid _my _hair?", Jessica asked.

"Me!", Abby answered, and all of the sudden, I was really gald that I was sharing a cottage with these three girls.

"Come on, Lee! It's almost breakfast time!", Kim called, because I had taken too much time braiding my hair. She grabbed my arm and drew me to the main house, where we arrived at exactly nine o'clock. The main house was a big wooden building with huge glass windows and lots of tables and chairs. I could see Jacob waving at me and shouting:"Hey, Lee! Come sit with me!" He and his friends had reserved a table for eight and sat there as if they hadn't slept all night. Well, it was Jacob's gang. They probably _hadn't _slept all night. Abby ran to Seth and hugged him as if she hadn't seen him in ages. Kim and Jessica stared at each other and rolled their eyes, but then Kim saw Jared, and she was almost as fast as Abby. Jessica and I looked at each other and grinned. "Honestly, seeing this makes me not even wanting to fall in love again", Jessica said, and I had to agree.

Finally we were all sitting at a table. We 'all', that meant Jacob, Quil, Embry, Seth, Abby, Jessica, Kim, Jared, Paul and me. Because no one had dared to sit next to the two lonely wolves (great joke, har har), Kim had just put two more chairs to our table, which meant that now I had to sit next to cranky Paul.

Fortunately, before our teachers started jabbering, we could eat breakfast. While everyone rushed up and stormed to the buffet, Paul and I stayed seated. Paul looked pissed, pissed enough to keep everyone from talking to him – but not me. I had a pretty good idea of how to talk to Paul, wolf or not.

"Why aren't you going?"

Paul didn't look at me. He didn't answer me, too.

"Aren't you hungry?", I continued.

Now he shot me a deadly look.

"Well, if looks could kill, I would still be alive, like I am now." I bent towards him. "You don't scare me, big wolf. Not a bit."

His smile was very fake. "Awesome, Clearwater. Now could you just shut up?"

"Moah, Paulie, haven't you slept last night?"

He smiled. "As a matter of fact, I haven't."

I tried not to sound too serious, although I was alarmed. "Oh, Paulie, are there vampires nearby, yes?"

He shot me a very evil glance. "It's none of your business", he snarled, "Why aren't you getting breakfast, Clearwater?"

I pointed at the line that had formed at the buffet. "I'm waiting for the right time, Paulie." I winked at him, and he rolled his eyes.

When the line was a lot shorter, I stood up. "Do you want anything?"

He stared at me. "Are you serious?"

I nodded. "Sure. I don't know where you got your information from, but I'm not as bitchy as you think."

Paul half-smiled and then thought for a moment. "Just some cornflakes with milk, please."

I nodded. "Cornflakes are coming, sir."

I quickly returned with a sandwich, a cup of tea and Paul's bowl with cornflakes. Paul smiled. "Thank you, Clearwater."

"No problem, Paulie."

As breakfast came to an end, Mr Cauldwell stood up and said:"So, as we are waiting for our Makah friends, let me explain something to you. You all know this is a _study trip_, which means you are here to learn something. In order to prove you have actually listened, every one of you will receive one of these green journals", he held up an ugly bright green journal, "in which you are going to write down what you have learned. I want at least one page per day, and I'll have your homeroom teachers read through them. Understood?"

Most of us moaned. Keeping a diary was hard, and it was especially uncool to write one for school. Because it meant one had to pay attention.

"You have one hour of free time now. Explore where you are, but be back here at eleven o'clock, and bring something to write. Also, please don't forget to take one of these journals when you leave this hall. See you in an hour."

As I walked out of the door I grabbed one of the ugly bright green journals that already said:"My study trip to Canada". I could see that Jacob was eyeing suspiciously. He showed it to me. "_That _is complete bullshit. I mean, our teachers already know everything about the study trip. I don't want to write that down. You know why? Because it means I actually have to pay attention."

I grinned. "I won't let you fall", I winked at him.

Jake threw me a thankful smile and then pointed at the forest. "Would you like to take a walk with me?"

I smiled. "Sure! Like, alone, or...?"

Jacob looked at our group. "Well, I'm not particularly fond of walking around with those lovey-dovey smoochy couples... Let's walk alone."

We were on our way to the forest when Seth came running towards us. "Where are you going to?"

"Taking a walk", Jacob said.

"Great!", Seth exclaimed, "We were just about to do the same. ABBY! QUIL! EMBRY! LEAH AND JAKE ARE COMING WITH US!"

Jacob and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. And another opportunity to talk alone – gone. _But _it was great to know that he wanted to be alone with me, too.

A few minutes later our breakfast table group walked past the main hut into the forest. Originally Paul hadn't wanted to join us, but then Jared had come because of Kim, and Paul didn't want to stay alone behind because of Kayla. She probably would try to flirt with him again, which was pretty useless for her, since he was a wolf and would probably imprint sooner or later on some chick. Although I sometimes wondered why Paul hadn't imprinted on _Kayla_. Both were arrogant, and both were very annoying.

After we had walked through the forest for ten minutes, Jessica suddenly said:"Guys, I just realized something."

We looked at her. "What?", Kim asked after a minute of silence. "Well... it doesn't rain!"

I looked up into the sky. She was right. It wasn't raining. It was rather funny to realize that for once, we had warm nice weather.

"Hey, look, there's a small river!", Seth exclaimed, and really, there was a small stream with crystal clear water.

"Is this something we have to write down, too? Like, 'Dear Diary, today we saw a small creek in the forest. It was very boring.'", Kim asked and stepped forward.

"Seems like we have to cross it to go further", Jacob said.

"I don't want to go back", Abby moaned, "We still have more than thirty minutes left."

It was decided, and so we all crossed the little stream. The only one who got wet feet was Paul, but I kept myself from laughing at him.

We walked in little groups further into the wood. I was up front, together with Kim and Jessica. Suddenly I smelled faint traces of vampire scent. I knew that smell well enough by now, having a vampire as a friend and all that.

"Hey, Kim", I said, "I'll just go to talk to Paul for a sec."

"Why?"

"I'm... I'm gonna tell him how to get rid off Kayla."

Kim grinned. "He definitely needs that."

I winked at her, and then let myself fall back. "Hey Paulie."

He shot me an evil glance. "What do you want?"

"Right up front I smelled vampire."

He raised an eyebrow. "Right, because you know _so _much about vampires."

I rolled my eyes. "No, I mean it. It's very faint, but I thought maybe you should know about it."

Paul looked at me for a little longer before he nodded. "Alright. Where?"

"We're walking right towards – here."

Paul sniffed. "Uh. You're right. But it's _very _faint."

I looked at him. "And that means what now?"

"Jared and I will run patrol tonight. But I think it's gone already."

I wanted to object to him calling a vampire an 'it', but I stopped myself. Paul wasn't supposed to know that I as friends with a vampire. So I just nodded.

We returned to the main hall, and I saw that the Makahs had arrived.

And then I got the shock of my life. I heard a very familiar voice calling:"Hey Jake! Nice to see you again!"

Alex, my car-freak-date, came walking towards us.

"Oh no", I moaned.

Jacob looked at me with an apologetic look in his eyes. "I'm sorry", he mouthed, "Should have told you."

"You knew?", I mouthed back.

He shrugged and then shook hands with Alex. I turned round to Jessica to talk to her, but then I heard Alex's voice:"Leah? Is that you?"

I turned back to him and tried to smile. "Hey, Alex! How nice to see you!" He hugged me, and I made faces.

Sure, the date with him hadn't been soooo bad. I was sure there had been dates worse than ours, but he hadn't been my type at all. Compared to Liev, he just wasn't what I wanted for a boyfriend.

"Why didn't you call me back?", Alex asked, and he sounded a little disappointed.

"Well...", damn, why did he have to ask that? "I just didn't have enough time, and to be honest, I wasn't convinced that it would work between us two."

Alex looked at me. "You could have said that much earlier, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, obviously you think you're the greatest guy on Earth. You didn't seem to realize that a girl does not like to hear about cars all the time."

Alex wanted to say something, but Jacob laid an arm on his shoulder. "Don't go there, buddy. You're talking to Leah Clearwater here, and you don't want to fight with her."

Alex stared at him. "Are you serious? You are afraid of fighting with her?"

Jake shook his head. "No, no, I'm not. But see, I'm Quileute, and she's one hell of a Quileute, and we can stand our women."

Alex started laughing. "Okay, Jake, I forgive you because that really sounded hilarious. And Leah, maybe we can just talk one of these days."

I smiled another fake smile, and then we were fortunately reminded by Mr Cauldwell that we had to return to the main hut now because the Nootka elders awaited us. I was glad about that. I would make sure to sit with the people from my breakfast table, which meant I would be able to stay away from Alex.

Ten minutes later, we sat down at the tables, with pens and paper in front of us, waiting for the Nootka elders.

They came. Three men, one woman.

"They haven't heard of equality yet, it appears", Kim said.

I nodded. "Neither have we. Our elders are three men and _zero _women. I will note that down."

She looked at me. "Not it down? Why?"

"For the journal", I explained.

If Kim wanted to say something more, she had to stop now, because one of the elders had stood up and started talking into a microphone.

"Hello, dear young members of the Quileute and the Makah tribes, we welcome you to our beautiful reservation. My name is Jack Whalehunter, and these are Bob Blackfeather, Leon Fisher and Julia Crowtamer. We are here today to tell you of the Nootka culture, or, to use the more appropriate name of our nation, the culture of the Nuu-chah-nulth people. As you can already assume from my surname, the Nuu-chah-nulth have always been, like our Makah brothers and sisters, great whalers..."

As he continued, I scribbled down everything he said. He told us that the Nuu-chah-nulth were separated into fifteen smaller nations, but that there had been many more before the pale-faces had brought smallpox and other diseases with them. They were related to the Makah nation. The Nuu-chah-nulth had been among the first tribes north of California to come into contact with the Europeans. They once had been great whalers, the whale being "essential to the Nuu-chah-nulth culture and spirituality", and like that Mr Whalehunter continued until it was time for lunch.

Jake looked at my notes. "What is that? Can I copy it?"

I stared at him. "Jacob, what exactly have you done the whole time that guy was talking?"

Jacob grinned and showed me a piece of paper that was covered in x-o games. "I've won most of them."

I rolled my eyes. "No, you can't copy it. But I'll give you a list of what you need to write down into your journal, alright?"

The rest of the day continued in TMI-alert, because the elders talked non-stop about their culture, its differences to Quileute and its similarities to Makah culture. And although I really liked to learn new things, this was becoming rather boring. When my hand was exhausted from writing everything down, I began playing an x-o game with Jacob, which he won.

At the end of the day, none of us felt like talking anymore. Jacob yawned a "Good night, love you" at me and was gone, and Kim, Jess, Abby and I fell into our comfortable beds and were out immediately.

The next day Mr Cauldwell and the Makah teacher led us to the nearby town, where we made groups of four and went on a quiz to explore the town. We had a three-page-questionnaire and tried to answer all of the questions in two hours. It was exhausting and not very fun. I didn't know where they had gotten the idea from – it was dreadfully boring, and we didn't learn anything important or new. Besides, it was raining.

I was walking ahead of my group around a corner into a deserted courtyard to see whether there was anything useful when I froze.

On the ground was a body.

The body of a man.

The man was dead.

Thing was, he wasn't only dead, he was white and looked cold and his throat seemed to have been ripped.

I swallowed a scream and backed away. This wasn't happening. I closed my eyes, but when I opened them again, the body was still there. I closed and opened them again, but it was _still _there. I pinched my own arm, but I didn't wake up. An uncomfortable feeling was creeping up my back, something that told me this was wrong, unnatural – even for a dead man.

I took a deep breath that didn't calm me at all. Not helpful! What was I going to do now? I walked a little closer to the body, only to jump back immediately. The body looked familiar – or rather, the way the person had died looked familiar. _Way _too familiar and creepy.

I ran back to my group. "Kim... call an ambulance. Now."

Kim stared at me. "What..."

"Just... call an ambulance. There is a dead man around that corner."

Jessica shrieked. Abby looked at me with huge eyes. Kim just stood there, frozen.

"For God's sake, KIM!"

She jumped. "Oh Gosh! Sorry. Yes. Calling an ambulance." While she was dialing the number, I saw Paul and Jared walking casually towards us. Sure, _they _hadn't seen the body. Before Jared could rush to Kim, I stopped them.

"There's a dead person behind that house there. And I know you think I know nothing about vampires, but this man looks like a vampire's victim." I had whispered so that at least Abby and Jessica weren't hearing what I said.

Paul and Jared stared at me. "Are you sure, Clearwater?", Paul asked, but he sounded as if he already believed me.

"Yeah, Meraz, and you two should hurry to take a look at the body before ambulance and police turn up! And don't touch anything!" Because it would be rather hard to explain how their fingerprints had gotten there.

Of course the quiz was stopped immediately. Mr Cauldwell kept asking me whether I was okay and that of course I could take the day off or even go home, if I wanted to. I told him I was fine and that I just wanted to rest. "Of course, dear", Mr Cauldwell had said, and before he could ask one of the girls to bring me to the cabin, Jake volunteered, took my hand and drew me away from the crowd.

"You really are okay?", he asked with a concerned voice.

I nodded. Then I shook my head. "Yes. I mean, no. I mean, it's okay, but today wasn't my favorite day."

Jake laid an arm around me. "They'll find the murderer."

I doubted that. "Maybe it was an animal."

"A wolf!", Jacob exclaimed, "Just like the big ones at home. You have heard the rumours about these bear-sized monstrosities, haven't you?"

Of course I had. "I wouldn't call them _monstrosities_", I said.

Jake grinned. "What would you name them?"

"Mutated morons." Which they were.

Jake laughed. "Anyway, maybe it's something similar. Can I do anything for you? Get you something to drink, to eat...?"

"You could give me a hug", I proposed, suddenly feeling at the edge of crying.

Fortunately Jake knew me pretty well, and so I was drawn into a long hug.

"I love you, Lee. It's gonna be alright", Jake comforted me. I kept myself from crying, though. I didn't want to look weak or anything, and crying was so... girly.

Jacob quickly kissed my cheek and then returned to the main hut, while I went straight into bed. The image of the dead man haunted me until I fell asleep.

I jerked up, looking directly into the shocked eyes of Abby.

"Sorry!", the younger girl whispered, "We didn't want to wake you up."

I rubbed my eyes. "What time is it?"

"Ten o'clock p.m. Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, totally fine." I stood up to drink a glass of water. "I'm gonna go outside for a bit", I announced and left the hut. After I had walked a little further away from the light of the windows, I took out my cell phone and called Jasper.

"Hello, Leah! How nice of you to call me! How are you?"

"I'm fine, Jazz. I'm in Canada. Study trip. How are you?"

"Well, you're quite lucky, darlin'. I was hunting and now I'm on my way back. Usually I don't take my cell phone with me."

I snickered. "Ah. It was Fate then, I guess. Although Fate _not _kicking my ass is a premiere."

"When has Fate – forgive me – kicked your ass the last time?", he asked, close to laughing.

"Do you remember the day in Port Angeles I ran into you? After my bad date?"

Jasper chuckled. "Of course I do."

"See, my date back then is with me here in Canada."

"That is bad", Jasper said.

I nodded, although he couldn't see me.

"So, darlin', is there a reason for your call?"

"I wish I could say no, but I've found a... a corpse today." Before Jasper could say anything, I continued:"And I think the man has been a victim to a vampire attack. Jasper, I think we have a real blood-sucking vampire here!" I almost panicked saying that out loud.

Jasper was silent for a while, then he asked:"Are you scared?"

I took a deep breath. "A little, I must confess."

Jasper exhaled. "Are the wolves with you?"

"Yes."

"Then don't be scared. They know how to defeat one of us. Are you listenling to me? Don't be scared, they'll know what to do."

"Okay", I shrieked, my voice much higher than usual.

"And I'll give you a useful piece of information. Listen closely." He paused. "Are you listening?", he then asked sharply.

"Yes! Yessir!", I answered quickly.

"Never, ever run away from a vampire."

That made me curious. "Why not?"

"Because we start seeing you as prey the minute you start running. Even if we're not even focused on you, when you run, you are food. Move slowly backwards. If a hungry vampire focuses on you, though, you can run away, no matter what. He'll catch you, anyway. So please remember: Never run away from a vampire. Never run away-"

"-from a vampire, got it." I tried to smile, but the whole situation seemed less and less funny now. This was really dangerous.

"Alright, darlin', have to hang up now. Call me soon, I miss you."

"Miss you, too, Jazz", I said, but he had already hung up.

Warily I walked back to the hut. This time, I would try to listen to Jasper's advice. Not like last time, when he had told me to stay out of the woods and I had walked through the forest with Stella anyway. Now I realized how stupid that had been. After all, a real vampire who just drank human blood was nothing to joke about. Suddenly I felt really frightened. Why couldn't my world be normal? If my world would have been normal, I might have found the corpse, but I would have thought it to be a normal homicide. Which would have been much better for me.

"Leah", Kim asked, "Are you alright? You seem worried."

I smiled. "No, I'm fine. I'm just thinking that this poor man had a family, you know. Kids, maybe. And now he's gone. I hope they find the murderer."

Kim nodded. "Me too. Good night, Lee."

I turned round in my bed, quickly falling asleep.

The next morning we had to get up very early. We were supposed to go to the Nuu-chah-nulth tribal school – one of many – that was in the nearby town, to attend the classes. Seniors to seniors, just like that. When we had lunch, the cafeteria was overcrowded. Which was good, because I needed to talk to Paul or Jared about the vampire threat. But Jared was nowhere to be seen, and I saw that Paul was talking to Kayla. Or was Kayla talking to Paul?

I walked up to the two of them. "Hi, Kayla. Leave Paul alone now."

Kayla raised an eyebrow. "Sorry, I didn't know he was your boyfriend now", she said.

I gave her a pitying look. "Well, I didn't know he was yours."

"Yeah, because I'm not", Paul said and shot Kayla an evil glance. Apparently he didn't like Kayla at all.

I smiled wickedly. "See, since he's not your boyfriend, you can just back off now. Bye bye."

Kayla did not smie back and tried to kill me with her gaze. "Since he's not your boyfriend, either, Leah, I think I'm gonna stay, thank you." She stemmed her hands against her hips and gave me a challenging look.

I laughed. "Seriously, Kayla, you want that fight? Because you really had it coming ever since you thought I had destroyed Sam's things."

"I apologied", she hissed.

That made me laugh even harder. "No, you didn't! You tried to walk around an apology, but see, that's not so easy." I stopped laughing. "You were my _friend_, Kayla. At least I had thought so. You can look at it any way you want now, but I'll always be right. You're the jerk here. And if I were you, I'd do what I say, because you've already made me angry enough."

Her eyes narrowed. "It's not over, Clearwater", she hissed before she stormed away.

I grinned at Paul. He looked relieved. "You've saved me", he said and even smiled a little.

"You're welcome." I looked around. No one was near enough to listen. "Have you run patrol last night?", I then asked.

Paul took a deep breath. "So that's why you've chased Kayla away. And I thought you had humanitarian reasons. But yes, we've run patrol. We've also found a fresh trail of the leech, but Sam told us not to follow it."

"You've called Sam?"

"Sort of", Paul grinned.

"How can you 'sort of' call someone?", I asked confused.

Paul chuckled. "I thought you knew the legends", he mocked, but then he answered:"We can hear each other's thoughts when we're wolves. It's pretty useful, but it can also get annoying, because you can't hide anything."

"Yeah, I can imagine that that gets annoying. Do you know whether the vampire is male or female?"

Paul shook his head. "We haven't seen it, but Sam thinks we scared it away. No more dead people in this town."

"Except for Kayla, maybe", I said, and we both laughed.

Truth was, we all died out of boredom on Tuesday in the Nuu-chah-nulth museum. The artefacts were very interesting, and many of us had hoped to learn more about the tribe's culture, but the guide, an old lady, had such a sleepy, dull voice that everyone lost focus and started yawning. I had taken paper with me to take notes, but soon I stopped trying to make sense out of the lady's words and just copied the information from the many tabloids of the museum. I hated Mr Cauldwell's idea of a journal. How did one write down that one had found a corpse? It all was a waste of time.

"This is _sooooo_ boring", Jake yawned next to me, "I'd rather do something fun now."

"What would be fun?", I whispered.

"Going to the movies with you. We should do that again, you know."

I shot him a smile and quickly kissed his cheek before I started copying again.

At dinner we all sat quietly at the tables and ate. For some reason, we were all exhausted by the museum's tour. Only Quil and Embry were whispering, but I didn't really want to know what they were plotting.

Suddenly Mr Cauldwell stood up. "So, dear students, as you all know, tomorrow we have a surprise for you. And this surprise is-", he made a pause, trying to make it more exciting, "- that we are going canyoning! That's why I told you to bring your swimsuits."

Many of us cheered, along them Jake, Quil and Embry. I just stared at my teacher. Canyoning. As far as I remembered, that was a tour through a creek, with lots of climbing, abseiling and cold water.

But climbing and abseiling meant that some sort of height was included.

And I was completely frightened of heights. So frightened that I'd switch immediately with someone running from a vampire.

I would die in both cases.


	38. I Went Through Canyoning

**Greetings, my faithful readers!**

**Here it is! Finally! After six months! Chapter 38!**

**I am so sorry that it took me so long to update the story. I had the biggest writer's block in my life. I couldn't write for months! And I really mean it. I couldn't write ANYTHING. It was horrible. Personally, I hold my favorite author Kieron Gillen (Marvel Comics) responsible. Well, not really, but he played an important part in triggering and ending the writer's block, so any complaints have to go directly to him :D**

**I really hope this will never happen again, and I promise you to upload the next chapter much sooner. Unfortunately, my first year of college starts in October, and I don't know how much time it will leave me for writing, so I will try to upload as much chapters as I can until then.**

**Before you can start reading, I want to thank my new beta, Lita of Jupiter. Really, thank you for waiting patiently for my writer's block to end and for going through my chaotic ideas. I would have lost sight of some rather important ideas without your help!**

**Domino91: Wow, you've read through my story in just one night? I'm really, really flattered! Hope you like the new chapter!**

**DANI TheBlackwaterHippie BLACK: Well, what can I say... you're correct, of course :D**

**MeFromMars: Actually, I hadn't planned for this vampire to be anyone from the story, but now that you've said it... And thanks for the compliment on Paul – I didn't really like him at first, but now there's gonna be a lot more Paul in the next chapters :D**

I Went Through Canyoning And All I Got Was A Lousy

"Let's Stay Friends"

I couldn't sleep all night because my thoughts kept on spinning around my head. Canyoning. Canyoning... _Canyoning! _CANYONING! Fate was so kicking my ass. Probably her favorite free time activity. I could practically read her thoughts. _Hm, I'm so bored today, what __shall__I do? Oh yeah, screwing __with __Leah's life__ is always so much fun__._

Sure, canyoning also meant that we would see some awesome nature, but when I was scared, I didn't care much about that. Another problem was that no one knew of me being frightened of heights. Sam did, and my brother and my parents, but no one else. I would so embarrass myself.

I remembered the night Jasper had called, when I had climbed out of my window and down a tree so I could go to him. I had been scared, but worrying about my friend had made it easier to climb down. But tomorrow, there was no friend in need to worry about. Which in turn would leave me enough space to worry about myself. Not good.

It was even worse that I couldn't sleep, because when you were tired, you could concentrate even less, which meant one was in much greater danger to get hurt.

The next morning I felt like I was in some kind of trance. I showered, got dressed and sat down at the breakfast table as before anyone else, but I couldn't eat anything. I was glad when Jacob entered the hall and sat down beside me, because Jacob just might have be the only one who could to distract me from the planned trip. My sleepless night had convinced me that Death had fallen in love with me and now wanted me to be with him. That pissed me off so much.

"Do you want some tea?" Jacob asked, but I just shook my head. "You look pale", he added with a worried tone, "Are you thinking about the creepy body you've found?"

I smiled and shook my head. "No, it's not that", I answered after a while, "It's just that... well..." I took a deep breath. "I'm afraid of heights. It's okay on a tower or on a secured platform on top of a mountain, but climbing up and roping down some medium rocks sounds like instant death to me." I tried to grin, but I could see on Jacob's face that he knew I was serious.

"That's bad", he said, "Can't you say you're sick?"

I shook my head. "You know Mr. Cauldwell. He can tell I lie. And anyway, if I don't do it, I will forever ask myself what I've missed."

"So you want to fight your fear?"

"No, just do it _with _my fear. That's courage, isn't it? Doing things you fear."

Jacob shrugged and grinned. "_I _don't know. You're the Alderaan princess with the Jedi father, not me."

"Sith father, now."

"He turned good in the end!"

"Yeah, well, what's that gonna teach me? 'When you die, you will regret everything and find peace', now that's _very _comforting before a canyoning trip!"

Jake laughed. "If you want to, I could stay with you the whole time."

I looked at him thankfully. "Are you sure? You probably won't be able to go with Embry and Quil then... I will be very slow, probably."

"They can live without me two hours, I'm not their Mom. Besides, they have lady trouble themselves."

"Great, so I'm lady trouble now?"

He grinned. "Nah, just a queen in distress." He stood up. "Let's get you something to eat. You can't go canyoning with an empty stomach."

Two hours later we sat in our buses on the way to the canyon. We had been advised to form two groups, and fortunately my group consisted of those I called my friends. Well, and Paul. We were 27 on the whole; the other Quileute group consisting of 25 students, and all of them were looking forward to this adventure. Except for me. But I prayed that it wouldn't be as horrible as I imagined it.

Jessica smiled at me. "This is gonna be so much fun! I've done it before, and it's awesome. Sometimes it's a little bit scary, but the adrenaline rush..." She beamed. I tried to smile at her, although her words were not really encouraging. I was becoming more and more frightened.

I wasn't feeling any better when we got out of the bus and met the four tour guides – four young handsome men. That pissed me off, because it meant there were more people who would watch me embarrass myself. Why did I have to be afraid of heights? I was a strong young woman! One of my best friends was a blood-sucking vampire. I knew some of my fellow Quileutes could turn into wolves. And here I was, being afraid of _heights_.

We had to take off our clothes (we were only allowed to wear swimsuits or bikinis or whatever one wore for swimming), put on neoprene suits (which looked pretty weird, and felt pretty weird, too), and then one of the guides told us that we had to walk for half an hour through the open. Which wasn't fun at all, because these suits made us sweat like hell. I was actually looking forward to the cold water of the creek.

Finally, when we had arrived at the creek, we began with walking through flat water for a while. In water, the neoprene suit was funny to wear. The water, which was ice-cold, felt warm inside the suit, something which made me long for a cold shower even more.

(Un)fortunately it came soon enough – suddenly I saw people from my group roping down a small waterfall. It looked like it was about ten feet high, and one of the handsome guides helped everyone put the rope into the security belt and then sent them down. I saw that I wasn't the only one who was frightened, but all of them arrived safely in the waters beneath.

I took a deep breath and waited for my turn. Jake had put his hand on my shoulder as if to calm me, but that just didn't really help. I felt more frightened than the day I ran away from the vampire in our forests and sprained my ankle.

The guide waved me to him, and my heart started beating faster than ever before. I didn't have to go now. I could send Jacob first. But then, I didn't want to be the last one. But I didn't want to go now, either!

I took another deep breath. I would go now. Then the first obstacle would already be behind me.

Jake's hand was still on my shoulder. "I'll cheer you up from up here, Lee. Don't worry, it's gonna be fun."

And then I stood in front of the guide. He smiled shortly at me before he began tying the rope to my belt. "So", he began, "It's very easy. You have to straighten your legs and keep them straight all the time. Your hands hold on to the rope. Don't break the body tension, or you might hit a rock. If you come too near to a rock, just push yourself away with one of your hands. Don't worry, this is really fun. Oh, and please don't get a shock when the cold water splashes into your face."

I took a deep breath and nodded, although I was really worried now. I mean, keeping body tensioned the whole time while walking down an almost vertical rock wall sounded pretty much impossible.

"Okay then", the guide continued, "Place your feet here, please... yeah, that's right."

I was now standing at the edge of the waterfall, almost shivering with fear.

"So, don't forget the body tension, and just keep walking. You have to move as if you were walking, understood?"

I nodded.

"Great. Be ready – and go!"

I could feel that my whole soul was shivering with fear, but my body kept the tension. I just 'walked' down the waterfall. Only a few times I had to push myself away from the rocks to my sides.

It wasn't as bad as I had imagined it.

It was even worse. I was half the way down when I almost lost the tension because shivering took over my body, but I concentrated so hard on not shivering that I was getting a headache. Or maybe the headache was coming from the cold water that was splashing into my face, stealing my breath. I wished I had found an excuse for-

Suddenly I fell into the water, diving into the cold floods. "Swim away!" the guide shouted from up the waterfall, but I was still trying to catch my breath. The cold water on my chest had felt as if I had been hit by a rock.

Finally I found the strength to swim away. Then I remembered that the rope must still be tied to my belt – but, no, it had loosened itself! I started panicking – and then I realized that it was _intended _that way.

Awesome. They wanted me to get a heart attack.

I breathed relieved and felt tears in my eyes. I calmed myself, saying that I had actually done it, but then I realized that this had only been the first step! I would have to do this a few times more! Why hadn't I found an excuse for this trip? Why?

Suddenly Jake appeared in front of me and drew me into his arms. "See, Lee, that wasn't so bad, was it?" he said and smiled at me.

I bit my lip. "It was worse", I managed to say.

Jake started laughing. "You're awfully cute when you're scared, did you know that?"

I shrugged.

"Come on, let's go. You'll get through this alive, I'll make sure of that." And he kissed my cheek.

That was a little encouraging, and so we went on walking. The next waterfall was almost a mile further down the creek, which gave me some time to really get calm. It helped that Jacob was holding my hand the whole time.

The next waterfall was actually okay, because it was smaller and I knew what to do. But shortly after that came a higher one, almost twenty feet high. All the courage that I had collected disappeared with one breath, and I panicked again.

Jacob went first. Some time on our way everyone had gotten ahead of us, and so we were the last ones of our group. With shock, I saw the guide explaining to Jake how to _glide _down the waterfall. No rope, just gliding down twenty feet.

Death really was in love with me.

And then Jacob was gone. I took a step forward and saw him standing in a small lake, thumbs up. But that didn't really help me.

The guide smiled at me. "Come on, it's your turn now." Although he probably meant that very friendly, I supposed that he was impatient. After all, I was the last one of a big group, and everyone else was probably miles ahead of us. Poor guy. The worst was yet to come: me.

I stared down the waterfall. "I can't", I said, my voice shivering.

The guide looked at me in a questioning way. "What do you mean, you can't?" he asked voice friendly.

"I'm- I'm afraid of heights. Like, really afraid. I can't glide down that waterfall."

The guide nodded and smiled. "Alright then, I let you rope down. Just wait a moment." With horror I watched how he took ropes from a small bag and tied them to the rocks. Sure, it looked safe, but I felt so embarrassed by the thought that apparently I was the only one of my group of 27 people who didn't dare to glide. Even my stupid fat history teacher had done so! My face turned bright red, and tears of embarrassment stung in my eyes.

"Thank you", I said to the guide, but my voice was barely audible, "Thank you for making this-"

Either he hadn't heard me, or he really was in a hurry, because he said smiling: "Here you go. Come on!"

Since I already knew how roping down worked, I got down pretty fast, but when I reached Jacob, I started crying quietly. It was relieved crying, but I felt stupid and embarrassed, too. Jacob helped me up.

"Oh Lee", he smiled face full of pity, "This really is nothing for you, is it? But don't worry, there are only three stations left, and a guide told me this one was the worst. I'm so proud of you!"

I was shivering, but Jake's words comforted me. Only three more stations to go. I was going to survive that.

Jake took my hand, and together we walked on. At first we didn't talk much, because I still had to recover from the embarrassing situation at the waterfall. I clung to Jake's hand, to prevent him from letting me go. Fortunately Jacob didn't seem to waste a thought on that, because he kept holding my hand, too.

"So", Jacob began after a while, "What about you and Liev now?"

I shrugged. "We haven't talked. It's... complicated."

"Tell me."

"Well..." I didn't really know where to start, so I began with the obvious, "I sort of fell in love with him, and he with me, and so we decided to end it before we became too involved. We both knew we wouldn't be able to hold on to a long-distance relationship."

"Are you sad about that?"

I took a deep breath. "I was... but I think it was the best decision. Better than getting serious and realizing afterwards that one can't maintain a relationship like that." I looked at Jake, hoping he would agree with me. Fortunately, he nodded, and we walked in silence for a while.

And then I heard myself asking a question I would have never believed myself to ask: "Have you heard anything about Isabella?"

Jake shrugged, "The last thing I've heard is that Charlie is worried because Bella has become some sort of a zombie. Seems she can't handle the break-up with that stupid Cullen."

I had to grin at the thought of Bella being a zombie. That fit perfectly to the situation around Forks and La Push – a vampire family had just left, we had a werewolf pack in town, and now there even was a _zombie _in Forks. YAY! Now all we needed was a mummy…

"Hey, don't grin like that!", Jake said playfully, "You weren't much different when Sam broke up with you."

I hit his arm. "That's not true! I was an angry bitch, and she is an empty nothing, that's a huge difference!"

He nodded. "Yep, you were one angry woman. That was rather annoying, so... I'm glad you've changed."

I kissed his cheek. "I'm glad we're friends."

"Remember the bracelet? Best friends!"

I smiled, although I was mentally making a face. "Yeah, best friends!" Yeah, best friends, hooray! Awesome!

"Yeah", Jake repeated, and for some reason, I had a feeling that he didn't like that much, either.

We had to rope down three more rock walls, and although they weren't as hard as the first two obstacles, I was still sweating like hell and Jake still had to hold hands with me.

So when the guide said that we just had to walk back now, the day suddenly seemed glorious. The sun was shining through the leaves – red, yellow, green... It was such a beautiful day, such nice, warm weather! I suddenly felt very, very happy and very, very relieved. I was proud of having finished the tour. I had survived Fate's and Death's evil plans! But I had no intention of ever doing canyoning again. Ever.

I looked at Jacob, and with a pang I realized that he had turned from baby-ish teenie boy to a good-looking teenager. His warm brown eyes beamed at me and his friends, and when we had arrived at the starting point and Jake was getting out of his neoprene suit, I could see lots of muscle. I was impressed.

"Jacob", I said, watching him, "Are you working out?"

He grinned at me and tensed his biceps. "Looks good, doesn't it? But no, I'm not working out. Although..." He walked towards me and swept me up before he began spinning us around like a maniac.

"STOP IT!" I shrieked, totally girly and probably totally annoying. I could practically see the other girls roll their eyes.

Jake grinned and put me back on my feet. "Does that count as working out?"

I narrowed my eyes. "Are you saying I'm heavy?"

He put his hands up in defense, but grinned: "No, no. You're a pretty girl."

Suddenly I felt very, very naked, and not because I was in a bikini. Jake's eyes were wandering over my body. He was definitely checking me out, and not in an innocent way. Not innocent at all. And then he bent towards me and whispered in his weirdest, huskiest voice: "You know, I have grown many more muscles... You could check them out later..."

I couldn't believe it. Had he really just said that? Had Jacob Black just tried to _flirt _with me? And why was that speeding up my heart beat? I couldn't really like-like him – could I?

Back at the camp, we had dinner and then time for ourselves. Jared and Paul had made a small fire, around which we all sat now. Kim and Jess had bought marshmallows from somewhere, and everyone was in a good mood. It was getting darker and darker, and soon the first stars appeared. Kim was leaning against Jared, and the way he looked at her made me realize that he had imprinted on her. Great. Another happy couple because of this stupid tribal magic. At least Jared hadn't left another girl for her. Kayla, who unfortunately had turned up at some point, was trying to get Paul to lay an arm around her, but he showed no sign of being interested. Good to know that _at least _none of the pack had been stupid enough to imprint on Kayla, her knowing about the wolves was a horrible idea.

I leaned against Jacob's shoulder and looked up through the trees at the little stars. The fire was warming my feet, but anything else of my body was freezing cold. So I was pretty glad when Jacob suddenly laid an arm around me. Confused I realized again that being so close to my best friend made my heart beat faster. It was still weird.

Sure, I had felt that way before. At prom, when we had kissed. Before the stupid wolf pack and my tribe's biggest secret had gotten between us. And _then _this feeling had been gone. Because of Liev, the most awesome pale-face I had ever met. But then _Liev _was gone. And now I was here, in Canada, at a camp fire, after a horrible day of canyoning, in the arms of my best friend, feeling thoroughly confused. Because the feeling from prom was back. Probably because Jake had been so kind to me today. My heart was so predictable.

I could feel that I was drifting off to sleep. I suddenly saw Liev's face in front of me, and then Jasper's, which was then replaced by Jacob's face, asking: "Leah, are you alright?"

I almost jumped, and my eyes flew open. "Yes", I hurried to answer, "Sure. It's just canyoning. I'm exhausted. Maybe I should go to bed." I stood up. "Night, guys!" I said loudly. Everyone looked up.

"Do you want me to accompany you?" Jessica asked.

But before I could answer, Jacob stood up as well. "I'll come with you. I mean, I'll bring you to your hut and then go to bed myself."

I smiled. "Great, thanks, Jake. Good night, everyone!"

Most wished me a good night, too, and then Jake took my hand and led me away from the camp fire. We slowly walked through the woods, watching some forest animals that ran away when we approached. Jacob didn't let go of my hand, and when we were far from the camp fire, he stopped and turned to me.

"You know... I just wanted... You looked really sexy at the canyon, with your wet hair, and the neoprene suit... I mean, really... sexy." The last word came out in a whisper. We looked at each other, and suddenly the strange tension I had felt at prom night was back. I took a deep breath and then made a step forward. Maybe... maybe...

Suddenly Jacob's lips were crushing on mine. For a second there I was confused, but only because I couldn't believe that this was actually happening. I leaned into the kiss – but then both of us broke apart. Jacob looked cautiously around and then smiled shyly.

"No one around, huh?"

I grinned and felt my cheeks getting hot. "Nope, no one around this time."

We kissed again, this time more passionately and fiercely. Then we broke apart again, catching our breath.

"I've wanted to do that ever since prom" Jacob panted, and his eyes burned with excitement.

This surprised me. "Really?", I asked.

Jacob nodded. "Yeah, I just didn't find the right time... and then you had Liev, and-"

I interrupted him by kissing him again, and suddenly I felt a little... turned on? _Really?_

We broke apart from each other _again_.

"Pity you didn't say so", I said, "Because I have wanted to do this again ever since prom, too."

Jacob stared at me. "Honestly? Why didn't you-"

"Because I thought you didn't want to talk about that, so I didn't."

We both looked at each other for a minute, and then started laughing. It was a relieved laugh, a tension-breaking laugh. A laugh that led to another kiss and then to Jake pressing me against a tree. I could feel that he felt turned on, too. As much as that confused me, it also turned me on even more.

"You know", Jacob whispered between kisses, "I don't know what you're thinking, but if you're thinking what I'm thinking, then we should go to a hut, like, right now."

My smile was wider than I had intended it to be, but that was more than unimportant now. What was important was that I wanted to be close to Jake. Much closer than we were now.

For a brief second, I was appalled by my own wish. How could I want to sleep with Jake? I was almost nineteen, and he was fifteen. He was only one year older than my brother. And still...

Sure, _I _wasn't a virgin anymore. Sam had made sure of that. But Jacob – I was pretty sure that if we did what we were about to do, it would be his first.

But he didn't seem to mind...

"So, your hut or mine?", I asked excited and aroused.

Jacob didn't need to think long: "Yours. I'd rather have Kim walk in than Quil."

"Or Seth", I added, and we grinned sheepishly at each other.

Jacob grabbed my legs and lifted me up, carrying me to my hut and inside. I only faintly remembered now that I was sharing this hut with other people, and that whatever it was that we were going to do could not end well with other people wanting to enter their hut. But I was too occupied to protest now – it was too late, anyway.

I somehow directed Jake to my bed and let him take off my shirt. He only looked at my bra for a few seconds before his eyes returned to my face. Cute. His hands caressed my body, though, and suddenly he couldn't get out of his shirt fast enough. I helped him take it off and stopped for a few seconds to admire his chest again. Damn. I had known Jacob was a good-looking guy, but I had never imagined him being so sexy. Argh! Why was Fate kicking my ass again? Although... was she really kicking my ass my making me make out with my best friend? Or was she actually doing me a favor?

I pulled off my pants and drew Jacob closer, praying that no one would come in now.

But Jacob stopped before he got out of his pants, which made me stare at him in a very disappointed way. Jake looked desperate.

"Leah", he whispered, "I don't- we don't have- you know?"

For a second I didn't know what he meant. Then I realized it. Condoms. We didn't have any, and I had stopped taking the anti-baby-pill almost a year ago.

"Damn!" I cursed.

Then I had an idea. I looked at Jacob. "You really wanna do this?"

Jacob nodded, his eyes burning with desire.

"Alright, I bet either Kim, Jess or Abby have some somewhere. I'll find one." I stood up and examined my friend's suitcases, completely violating their privacy. But at this point, I didn't care. I felt a little weird, since I was only wearing a bra and panties, and I was searching my friends' things. This was bound to be a failure. I wouldn't find any-

I opened a toilet bag on Kim's nightstand and found what I had been looking for. I probably would have to explain this later to her – or she wouldn't even notice that one condom was missing.

I held it up triumphantly. Jacob grinned and pulled off his jeans, I switched off the light. With a nervous smile, Jake took my hand and led me back to my bed.

I woke up because the sun was shining directly into my face. For a moment I rested in the memories of yesterday night and grinned happily to myself.

Then I realized where I was.

I almost jumped up, but that proved to be difficult, for Jacob's head was still resting on my chest. I looked around the room. No one was there, and the beds didn't look as if someone had slept in them. But then where were my friends? Had they come home and caught me and Jacob making out? What time was it, anyway?

I tried to grab my cell phone without waking Jacob, who was snoring quietly. With relief I saw that it was half past eight, making it still possible to appear at breakfast at nine without raising questions. Hopefully.

I petted Jacob's head. "Jakey", I whispered, "Jakey, we have to get up."

He grunted, but didn't open his eyes. "Five more minutes", he moaned.

I shook my head and grinned. "Alright, at least let me get dressed."

With another grunt, he moved his head from my chest to my pillow. I got up and looked for my underwear. It was weird to be naked – and it was even weirder to accept the fact that Jacob and I really, truly, had slept with each other.

When I was fully dressed, I woke Jake again. I didn't dare to kiss him – although my heart really wanted to. But I didn't know yet what last night had done to our relationship. I would have to talk to him about that later.

We arrived at breakfast on time. Jacob had grinned at me all the way, but he had put on the mask of an extremely tired and therefore pissed teenager, so Quil, Embry and Seth wouldn't talk to him.

I sat down at the small table where Kim, Jess and Abby had reserved a place for me. All three grinned, but didn't say anything until we all had gotten something to eat. But when we had, they looked at me expectantly.

"What?", I asked innocently.

Kim took a gulp of tea, then she asked very carefully:"And?"

"And what?"

Jessica looked around. "How has it been?"

I decided to play dumb. "How has what been?"

All three bit their lips and grinned. "Your night", Abby said.

I asked myself how much they knew. "I slept well, thank you."

Kim rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lee, we're not stupid." She grinned. "We know Jacob and you have done it. So how was it?"

I turned slightly red. "The more important question is, where have you been?", I asked back after taking a bite of my sandwich.

The three girls looked at each other. Then Kim said: "Well, we- that is, I- walked to our hut shortly after midnight, and when I heard you, I supposed it would be better for us to sleep somewhere else. So Abby spent her night with Seth, Embry and Quil, and Jess and I slept at Jared's."

"What did you tell them?"

Jessica grinned. "That you were making out and didn't want to be interrupted."

_Oh gosh. _I buried my head in my arms.

Kim patted my shoulder. "Don't worry, we only told that Jared and Paul."

Abby nodded. "Yeah, they're not as gullible as Seth, Quil and Embry. I just told them I really wanted to spend the night with my boyfriend, and that Jake had said I could sleep in his bed, he wanted to talk a little to you, anyway. They believed me."

"So, after we've clarified that... How was it already?"

I took a deep breath. "Quite... good, actually", I finally managed to say, "Thank you so much, girls. Really, thank you. You're the best."

All three grinned at me, and with a pang I realized that I really had friends. Good friends. Friends who lied for me, friends who spent their nights somewhere else so I could make out with a guy. Real friends.

"And now?", Jess asked after we had eaten quietly for a while.

I took another deep breath. "Actually, I have no idea."

"But you like him."

I nodded.

"Are you in love with him?", Abby asked.

Was I? That was a good question. Part of me surely was, but another part still missed Liev. So which part was bigger?

"Leah?", Kim asked, "Are you in love with Jacob?"

"I... I don't know", I answered truthfully, "I think Jake and I have to talk."

The three girls nodded. "Yes, you have to", Kim said, "Finish your breakfast and go." She said that in a tone that could not be argued with.

I put my plate away, took a deep breath and walked towards Jacob's table. After another deep breath, I said: "Hey, Jake."

Jake, who had been joking with Quil about bread rolls (very stupid), turned round to me, and I could see that he was turning slightly red. "Morning, Leah", he nodded.

"I wondered if we could talk for a minute or so?" I saw that Quil and Embry looked curiously at us, and so I added: "About my birthday party."

Confused Jacob nodded and stood up to follow me out of the hall and into the forest. "About your _birthday_?", he asked.

I grinned. "No, silly. Actually, I wanted to talk about, well, yesterday night."

Jacob's face turned deep red now, and I was pretty sure I looked like a tomato as well.

"Yes... yesterday night... was great, wasn't it? Was it bad for you?" He looked pleadingly at me. I tried not to grin. It was so cute that he was worrying about _this_. Way too cute.

I smiled at him. "No! No, Jake, it was great. That's not what I wanted to talk about. It's more about... well... what now?"

Jacob stared at me with a dumbfounded look. "What do you mean, what now?"

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Like, are we going back to just being friends, or are we gonna do this again...?" This was so embarrassing.

Jacob bit his lip. "Oh, _that _what now. I... I don't know."

That was definitely NOT the answer I had hoped to hear. Although I wasn't too sure what I thought of Jacob, I had hoped he knew exactly what he thought of me. To be true, a part of me hoped he would say he was in love with me. Just because it would feel good to hear that.

But now that he didn't know an answer, I was confused.

"You know", Jacob continued quietly, "I think we should stick to being friends."

"Yeah, right, I thought that, too", I hurried to say.

Wait, what? What had he said? Stick to being friends? No, no, NO! Impossible! Could somebody please play backwards the last few minutes so we could talk about this properly."

"Great!" Jacob beamed, "Friends who had sex."

I nodded, the smile on my lips being faked. This was so wrong. Problem was, I didn't even know why it was wrong. I had spent the last months falling in love with Liev, why was this bothering me so much now?

My mind took control over my emotions. This was better, staying friends. Jacob was just fifteen, and I was about to become nineteen. Maybe, if I waited, if we waited, there would come a time where this was right for both of us.

Yes, staying just friends was the best solution. I would have time to sort out the turmoil my love life was in. Half being in love with Jacob, missing Liev and hoping Sam still cared for me was too much to be solved by going out with Jake.

Still, it hurt me that he had proposed that. Was I really nothing but a friend to him? Had it been nothing but physical attraction that had led him to share the bed with me? I remembered the stupid bracelet from stupid Valentine's Day. Friends forever. Yeah, that was all I would get. Thanks, Fate, for kicking my ass again.

I smiled at Jake. "Alright. Can I at least still give you a hug?"

Jake laughed. "Sure. As many as you want!" And he pressed me close to his body before he let me go again.

"Great. Anyway, I have to finish that stupid journal", I winked at him and walked away, holding back those stupid and unnecessary tears that were coming.

But, because Fate hated me, I didn't reach my hut without an infuriating encounter. Makah-Alex caught up with me only a few feet away from my hut.

"Hey Leah", he smiled.

"Hey, Alex", I grunted back. He had picked a bad moment to talk to me. This guy surely was no empath at all. He'd better leave before I lashed out at him.

"So... I wanted to talk to you. About us."

That didn't brighten my mood. I didn't answer, and just waited for him to continue. No matter what he said, I was sure he would never be prepared for what I would answer. Stupid, stupid Makah.

"See, Leah, I get you didn't want to call me again because you thought we wouldn't fit. It's okay, I accept that. But why the heck didn't you just tell me? I mean, apparently you don't have a problem with saying what you think, so why couldn't you just talk to me?"

The worst part was that he was right, but I wasn't someone who accepted being wrong so lightly. Especially not now. That was why I got angry. It was wrong, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stand being wrong, and especially not in an argument with an ex-boyfriend or an ex-date.

"You know, I had other things on my mind the last months than trying to explain to you that you and me weren't gonna happen. We only went out once, get over it already." And this was true – Alex had been the least important thing on my mind the past months. I was pretty sure everyone would have agreed with me that vampires and wolf-men were far more important, if they had known about them.

"But what was wrong, Leah?" Alex continued his road to hell. This guy was really stupid. But then, he didn't know me well, nor knew he the Quileute women. "I mean, everything was great on Jacob's birthday, and the date had been awesome. It would have been perfect if your brother hadn't interrupted us!"

I grinned to myself. My beloved cheat call function.

"Hey, Alex", I began, "before we start analyzing things, can I ask you something?"

He nodded.

I tilted my head and asked very seriously:"Are you blind? Or deaf? Or do you have some communicational dysfunction? I know, I know; not everyone can be an empath, but honestly, even some complete computer nerd could have guessed that I. Don't. Want. To. Talk. About. Stupid. Cars. All. Day."

Alex snorted. "I did not-", he began, but I interrupted him.

"Yes, you did, and let me tell you, it was neither cute nor cool nor interesting."

"Then why didn't you tell me or tried to change topics?"

Damn, another good question! This guy was getting on my nerves. Couldn't he just be stupid? Couldn't he just go away and leave me alone? I wanted to think and cry about what Jacob had said!

I took a deep calming breath. "Alex... I don't know. I honestly can't even remember what I thought exactly, so please, leave me alone before I get really angry."

Alex threw me a faked surprised look. "Oh, so you're not angry yet?"

I glared at him. I poked my finger in his chest and approached him like a wild, aggressive lioness. "Just who do you think you are?", I hissed, "Some kind of superhero? Well, sorry to break the news to you, but you're not the womanizer you apparently think you are."

"I didn't-", he began, but I didn't let him.

"Shut up!", I growled, "And take notes, because now I'm gonna tell you why you will have trouble finding a girl that stays with you. When girls meet you, you seem nice and interesting and interested in the other person, but when one is on a date with you, you're the most self-absorbed boy I've ever seen. And then you don't even get it! You don't get that a girl doesn't want to hear a boy rambling about something. We want to _talk_. We don't mind talking about cars – as long as it's not the only topic – but we want to TALK. T-A-L-K. Do you know how talking works? It's pretty easy; you just say something, and then the other person answers to that, and then you answer the other person, and so on. You should try that out some time."

Alex looked like he wanted to say something, but I wasn't finished yet.

"And then there's the lack of empathy you showing right now. You see me running across your own path and only think of yourself. That I might be in a hurry, or pissed, or maybe sad, didn't occur to you apparently. Next time you try to talk to someone about difficult topics, _ask _them if they have time for you." I took a deep breath. "And now excuse me, I have an assignment to finish. I desperately hope this is the last time we talk. Bye."

Pleased with myself, I stepped past him and walked away.

The same night was a good-bye camp fire with lots to eat. Alex carefully avoided me. Good boy.

I had told Kim, Jess and Abby about Jacob, and although all three of them weren't convinced we had made the right decision, they were nice enough to not talk about it.

The weird thing was that Jake seemed to avoid me, too. I could understand why, but it still hurt me. We hadn't done anything wrong, why couldn't we just go back to being friends? At the camp fire, I sat between Jess and Paul, and although Jessica was really funny and Paul really tried not to be annoying – because he knew I would keep Kayla from him – it wasn't as much fun as it would have been with Jake next to me.

I suddenly was very scared that what Jacob and I had done had changed our relationship. I'd rather be his best friend forever than having an awkward We-had-sex-friendship. But I feared it drifted off into exactly this. I didn't want that. I wanted to keep him. Jake was a great friend, and a great guy.

For a while, I just stared into the fire, before I bent to Paul and asked quietly:"Any more information on the vampire?"

Paul threw me an annoyed look. "You know, Leah, I knew you were a pain in the ass, but that you could be _that _annoying..." He winked at me and smiled pacifying. Apparently he was too happy he wasn't being harassed by Kayla to start a bitch fight now. I'd have won, anyway.

He became serious again. "Actually, we haven't. The vampire is on the move again, but Jared and I have made sure it doesn't come to Quileute land."

"How did you do that?", I asked, eyebrows raised.

Paul chuckled. "We pissed", he said in a sincere tone before he turned his attention back to a couple of marshmallows.

I tried to get the image of Paul and Jared pissing on every tree from here to La Push out of my head, but it was too hilarious, and so I giggled quietly to myself. Paul threw me another annoyed look, but I could see his mouth was twitching. Maybe knowing about vampires and werewolves wasn't too bad. At least it provided bystanders with a good laugh from time to time.

Someone tapped my shoulder. It was Jacob, and he pushed Jessica a little away so he could sit next to me.

"Hey, Lee", he said with a shy grin.

"Hey", I grinned back, "You're okay?"

Jake nodded. "How are you?"

I shrugged. "Feeling awkward."

"Yeah, me too."

We were silent for a while.

"But you're still gonna sit next to me on the way back to La Push tomorrow, aren't you?", Jacob suddenly asked.

I allowed myself to sigh relieved. "Only if I can sit at the window..."

The rest of the evening got way better after that, and when everyone went to bed, I was convinced that Jake and I would get through this awkward phase of our friendship.

I slept well that night.

The next morning, to all our astonishment, everyone – even Kayla! - was on time. Mr. Cauldwell was very happy, and although he looked tired, he beamed at everyone and assured us he would already look forward to reading our journals.

Travelling back to La Push was far less noisy than the journey to Canada. The kids didn't sing their stupid annoying song, because they were all too tired to do so. I heard quiet snoring from everywhere around me, and when Jacob laid an arm around my shoulders, I fell asleep as well, convinced that everything was going to be fine.

And for just a while longer, it was.


End file.
